The Wizard (1989) Movie Script

There's two boys holding
Stars for the wishing
Yeah, one boy's sure
One says, I don't know
But sometimes I feel
We been missing
Ooh, love I try
And away they go
Oh, oh
And this old town
The wind starts blowing
And the radio sings
the blues for free
Mmm, mmm
We got the bottle down
For soaking dreams, yeah
And tears of a clown
Well, hey, that's me
And hearts
that fall in two
Pretend they don't show
Holding back the rain
Baby, let it go
You don't get much
without giving
You don't get much
without giving
Hey, hey, yeah
Hey, hey, yeah
Hey, hey, yeah
Hey, hey, yeah
You don't get much
You don't get much
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I found him.
I found him.
His mother was right.
He's about three miles south
of the old Butte Road.
I got it.
On my way.
Yeah, it's him all right.
Whoa. Whoa, son. Now just where
do you think you're going, boy?
Sure, kid.
We all want to go to California.
My wife wants to go
to California.
Joe. Come in, Joe.
You just stay put.
Now what do you want
me to do with him?
Take him to his mother's place.
She's remarried.
Her name's Christine Bateman. She
lives on the south side of town.
You got that?
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Okay, son, time to go.
Upsy-daisy. Your mom's
waiting for you now.
So, on these trips
that he takes,
has he tried to see Corey or
Nick or his natural father?
Oh, I'm sorry.
What did you say?
Look, he just picks up his little
lunch pail... What is in that thing?
And off he goes.
I mean, he could go anywhere,
downtown, the canyons, the river.
He doesn't go to the river. He
never even goes near the river.
He stays away from the river.
But I'm telling you, anytime, I
mean, he could just pick up and go.
The Happy Wanderer,
at the stroke of midnight,
if he feels the urge,
in the middle
of his Frosted Flakes.
I got the neighborhood on red alert,
and I'm putting the cops on overtime.
Mr. Bateman!
Though Jimmy is
a heavily traumatized boy,
he has a certain fixation with
building, stacking things.
These little monuments he makes,
I'd like to think
they mean something.
I'd like to think that he's searching
for a way to express himself.
But you don't.
Look, we've been sending
this boy here for two years.
I think it's time we started
exploring some, uh, alternatives.
We're thinking about, uh, putting
him into an institution,
a home.
Is that something original, Dad?
I'm trying to cook you guys
a decent meal.
You can't be living off
of burgers and pizza.
It cannot possibly belong to one
of the four major food groups.
It's a casserole, genius. Doesn't
it look like a casserole?
We saw Jimmy yesterday, Dad.
So how is he?
They're talking about
putting him in a home.
That's Christine's decision. She
has custody now. You know that.
Well, I'm, uh, I'm not really too hungry.
I'll grab some a little later.
I wanna know about the pickup. I found
it this morning covered with mud.
You took it again.
Just gimme a break, please. This
has nothing to do with the pickup.
It has everything to do with it!
I wanna know why you disobey me
when I give you a direct order?
Why do you do this? They're
gonna put him in a home, Nick!
He hasn't changed
ever since Jennifer.
Dad! He doesn't do anything.
He doesn't say anything.
What about it, man? What
about the rules around here?
Don't call me "man," all right?
What? The pickup, the rules? You
always do this. Corey, come on.
No, Dad, will you listen to me? What,
you wanna see that happen? Huh?
You wanna see 'em put Jimmy in a home?
Fine, Dad. Just because he's our half
brother, he doesn't matter, right?
Enjoy your casserole.
Leave me alone.
Why do you keep doin' this to yourself?
It's been two years.
Yeah, what do you care?
Why don't you and I just go over to the
Dairy Queen, huh? We'll kick back a couple.
Come on, it's on me.
You didn't even care about him
when you had the chance.
All you care about is yourself.
What bothers me is that you
seem to have no respect for me
or no appreciation
for living in this house!
What do you care
about what I do anyway?
Jimmy's in a home
and you don't care.
If Mom was still alive,
she'd be...
Don't you tell me what I care about,
young man. You don't care about us!
You steal my pickup and now you're
drinking, and I don't like it!
You have no sense of
responsibility for this house!
I do.
For you to carry out
the trash is a big deal!
South Dakota.
Wash my truck every once in a while.
Come on.
Let's go.
Jimmy, we're gonna do a little
traveling, just you and me.
What do you think?
Yeah, California.
Come on.
Do you like chocolate?
Good. Get in.
You understand, Mr. Woods, we don't have
the manpower to be pursuing runaways,
even if the one boy
is handicapped.
Hey, look, he's not handicapped.
Whatever he is.
They were seen hopping a truck.
Uh, can we get to the, uh,
the point here?
Woods, your son, Corey,
has taken Jimmy.
They're both my sons.
Oh. Okay. Okay.
For the record, your two sons, one of
whom I am legally responsible for,
have decided
to eat their way across...
I don't see why we're standin'
here talkin' about it.
Because you are
missing the point.
I have an obligation to
the welfare of this child.
I have to see that he is returned here
for the kind of treatment he needs.
Now, granted,
the police are looking.
We've hired someone to find him.
Mr. Putnam.
Mr. Putnam retrieves
runaways professionally.
He's going to bring back Jimmy.
What about Corey?
Well, Corey, uh, wants to
run away, doesn't he?
I mean, even if we brought him
back, would it do any good?
You know, Bateman, I, uh, I
always knew that you were a jerk.
I just, until now, thought
it was guilt by association.
I want to go with you. Forget it. You
can get a ride back with Bateman.
I don't think so.
Uh, Mr. Woods. Excuse me.
Just so you know, I make my
money by bringing kids in,
and I don't make it if someone
else brings the kid in first.
You catch my drift?
So let's not be getting
in my way, okay?
Have a nice day.
We better drop by the house,
pick up some clothes.
- End of the line, Ben?
- Yeah, it's my last stop.
Come on.
Do you have to make
such a pig out of yourself?
Come on.
Stay there.
Hey! Jimmy!
Hey, wait up!
How about that cupcake?
We got plenty of Twinkies.
Personally, I'm a Ho Ho man myself.
How about you?
So, according to this
we're in Goblin Valley.
I mean, I mean, I mean, it couldn't
be Happy Valley or Wonderful Valley.
Goblin Valley.
Why not Ax Murderer's Valley?
There's a bench outside. The bus'll be
here any minute. Stay here for a minute.
Well, go ahead. Play.
Two tickets
to California, please.
You got someplace
specific in mind,
or would you just like
to be dumped at the border?
Is Los Angeles specific enough?
That's $226.
Well, we only have $27.30.
Where does that get us?
Nowhere. It's $34
just to St. George, Utah.
That's it?
Hey, Scotty, some of those high
school kids are up on the ridge
throwin' rocks
at the highway again.
Chase 'em on home,
will you? Over.
50,000? You got 50,000
on Double Dragon?
Hey, Chester.
Hi, Mike.
Here's Mrs. Johnson's
complaints this month.
Not again.
How'd you do it? You only
played for five minutes.
How the hell did you get
50,000 on Double Dragon?
I never got 50,000 on Double Dragon.
How'd you do it?
Hi. I'm Haley.
If you don't tell me what
you're doing, I'm gonna scream.
Uh, could you scream quietly?
What, do you think I'm stupid?
I saw you look at that cop.
What's his problem?
He's just shy.
- Shy a few bricks I'd say.
- No, he's okay.
He just kicked ass
on Double Dragon.
Get out of here. Him?
Yeah. He could wax your tail.
No way.
Wanna bet?
How much?
I don't have $6.70.
Well, that's okay, 'cause,
uh, you got a bus ticket.
You could cash it in.
Let's see him beat that.
Come on, Jimmy.
What is he, some kind
of freak or somethin'?
That's it.
Two tickets to St. George.
You conned me.
I didn't. I won the bet.
Give me that money.
Great! Great.
Now I'm stuck here.
Hey. Hey.
Where the hell are we?
Oh! What is that,
Yeah. So?
It's disgusting.
From the guy who steals my
pickup and stays up drinkin',
the guy with the foul mouth,
that's a compliment.
Where are we?
We were supposed
to be headin' west.
That's the direction
the cupcake truck went.
We're headin' west.
Wait a second. We're not headin' west.
We're headin' south.
What the hell
have you been doing?
I've been drivin'
the whole damn night.
I must have stopped 50 times and asked
about where those kids are. Come on.
We're on the other side of the
canyons, man. Turn around.
Gimme that thing.
Pop! Pop!
Get over!
What are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?
Look at him. He's making the jump,
it's his second time through,
and he hasn't even
taken a hit yet.
He's a wizard.
So he can play Ninja Gaiden?
So what?
So I got an idea.
If he can beat me, why can't
he beat any old video head?
We could pick up
some loose change.
Are you kidding me?
That's warped.
The kid's a natural. A genius. A pro.
He picks it up like lint.
Why do you want to
haul him off to California?
I got it.
You want to go to California,
and you want to prove that Jimmy
doesn't belong in a home.
Do you think they'd put him
in a home after he'd won this?
A video game contest?
- Haley, he's...
- He's what?
Too crazy?
Too stupid?
He's sure not the genius you are, trying
to get to California on 27 bucks.
You don't believe
in him yourself.
What does this matter to you anyway?
It's a business deal.
If I can get you to California
and he wins, we split the money.
Do you think I'd hang around
a pair like you for my health?
Hey, sweetheart,
I'm lookin' for some kids.
Pop, I'm starving! We'll
get 'em in the next town.
Hey! Now I warned you!
This is my living!
Didn't I tell you
this was my living, huh?
Son of a bitch.
Oh, Jesus!
All right. All right,
there's no cause to get crazy.
It's very hot.
This is a professional matter.
I don't appreciate this, Woods! You
got no class! No class at all!
So, uh, now that we're here, you want
to go grab a bite to eat or what?
We gotta plan a strategy.
Lucky for you I know this highway like the
back of my hands. My dad's a trucker.
Yeah. He makes a weekly run
between Reno and Kansas City.
That's where I live, Reno. You gotta
be very adult to live in Reno.
It's the world's
biggest little city.
Haley, are you sure
about these guys?
Oh, don't you worry about them.
I'm telling you, I know truckers.
They got a code.
A code?
My dad sent me home early. He
likes me to watch the house.
We got a really, really nice house.
Where's your mom?
She packed it in.
She was a showgirl.
Great legs.
I got her legs.
What do you think?
Okay, we gotta pool our money.
What do you got left?
I got 87 from the bus ticket.
- Oh, is this Reno?
- No, stupid.
Well, you said it was the world's biggest
little city. I thought maybe I missed it.
What are you doing? Let go of...
Corey, take the money!
Hang onto her, Larry!
Jimmy, stay there! Stay there, Jimmy!
Look out, kid.
Listen, kid,
all we want is the cash.
Hey, stay away from me!
You smell like...
I'll get...
Hey! Hey,
this is our money!
Hey, this is our money!
It's our money! Hey! Hey!
I got it! I got it!
Well, that's some code they got.
You don't have my size?
I don't care what brand it is,
just somethin' to get me goin'.
In your size, with your price,
all I got is these retreads,
which would be old whitewalls.
What the hell is that? Oh,
it's Corey's old video game.
I found it in the back
of the pickup truck.
I thought
the old one was broken?
It was. I fixed it.
You fixed it?
And you just hook it up?
You don't ask?
It's not like I'm cuttin' tags off of
mattresses, Pop. It's just a video game.
You oughta know.
You bought it for him.
Where are we? Does it matter?
We're broke.
Oh, yeah, you're tellin' me! You're
the one with all the trucker friends.
The one who knows all the codes.
I got you this far, didn't I? Oh, I
don't even know where "this" is!
A lot of faith you got.
Oh, will you stop, Haley?
I mean, we don't have any money.
Aren't you just a little scared?
I don't get scared!
Now give me the four bucks
you're holding out on.
You flashed 21,
you stashed four
from the change at lunch.
They didn't get it 'cause you put
it in your shorts. Now dish it up!
You're gettin' awful personal,
you know.
What are you doing?
We've gotta find someone
dumb enough to sucker.
And seeing how it's too warped
for you, I guess it's up to me.
Wait a minute.
That's my four dollars.
All right, now pay attention.
You might learn something here.
Hey, I could beat you the way
you're goin' now. Oh, there you go.
Perfect. They're salesmen.
Wait here.
That's great. That's looking great.
That's far out. Great.
That was a good one.
Good shot. Good. Good.
- Not bad. Not bad.
- Thanks.
You got some skill.
Some? What do you mean some?
Oh, myself? No.
Not a challenge.
Now my brother over here,
now he could beat you.
Oh, go on.
You're a monster, Jimmy. You snaked 'em.
Didn't he snake 'em?
Look at him.
He's smiling.
You like this, Jimmy, don't you?
Yeah, we're on our way, Jimmy boy.
We're on our way.
Geez, it's gonna be night.
I got an idea.
Follow me.
You'll see.
I've spent plenty of nights
with my dad in these things.
What, do you travel all over
with your dad? If I want.
He takes me across country
in summer when school's out.
But sometimes he sends me
back early 'cause...
'Cause he don't want my whole
life to be on the road, you know?
Yeah, well, don't you
have any friends?
I got tons of friends.
I got so many friends I don't
have room for any more.
Well, don't you ever get, uh,
scared traveling all by yourself?
I told you.
I don't get scared.
Okay, we have $47.12,
which I think we can double, maybe
triple, by the time we get to Reno.
Now, look. I got these Power
magazines to help Jimmy,
so we can teach him the
secret tricks in each game.
Do you believe
in heaven above
Do you believe in love
Don't tell a lie
Don't be false or untrue
It all comes back to you
Open fire
on my burning heart
I've never been
lucky in love
My defenses are down
A kiss or a frown
I can't survive on my own
If a girl walks in and
carves her name in my heart
I'll turn and run away
Every day
we've all been led astray
It's hard to be
lucky in love
It gets in your eyes
It's making you cry
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to do
You're looking for love
Calling heaven above
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Hey, pops, have you seen these kids?
Right now
Empty dreams
can only disappoint
In a room
behind your smile
But don't give up
Don't give up
You can be lucky in love
It gets in your eyes
It's making you cry
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to do
Looking for love
Calling heaven above
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Hey, turn that garbage down!
470,000 and climbing
on F1 Dream.
What is this kid,
some kinda cyborg?
Sorry, wartface, but, uh,
first you play, then you pay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Who you callin' wartface,
weenie, huh?
Hey, hey! What's goin' on over there?
The three of you, huh?
What'd I tell you about roughhousin'
in here? I gotta spell it out!
Roger, it's them again!
I got video monsters.
I got movie monsters.
I got graffiti-on-the-wall monsters!
I hate this place!
He's good,
but he'd never beat Lucas.
Nobody's better than Lucas.
Lucas is awesome.
Oh, really? And, uh, where
might we find this Lucas?
So, you the wizard?
No, he is.
This guy? I don't get it. Is he,
like, a poster child for someone?
For your information,
he's headed for the video
championships in Los Angeles.
Oh. Is that right?
Well, let's just see
how good he is. Guys?
Pick any game you want.
I'm good at all of them.
I have 97 of them.
You know all 97 of them?
What is that?
I don't know.
The Power Glove.
I love the Power Glove.
It's so bad.
Yeah, well, uh, just keep your
power gloves off her, pal, huh?
Go ahead, Jimmy,
show 'em what you got.
Go ahead.
Hey! Hey, Jimmy!
By the way, I'm headed
to the championships, too.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, come on.
I want to get an early start
in the morning.
I know that this is,
um, not a good thing.
Hmm? What's that?
Corey and Jimmy
runnin' off, but, uh...
I just want to let
you know that...
I'm glad that I'm here.
You remember all those trips
we used to take every year?
Go to the ocean.
That was great. We'd stop at every
cornball tourist trap along the way.
Yeah. That's the best
I remember us all.
Jennifer was a kick, huh?
She and Jimmy together,
they'd both go nuts.
Ohh. I'm tired, Nick.
It's late.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I'm sleepin' with my father
in some dump on the highway.
Hell, you don't want me here.
Jesus! We can't even
talk to each other!
You're in your underwear!
I can't believe it! I cannot
even speak to my own father!
Mr. Cheapskate, he gets us a room
that does not even have double beds.
Ah, come on. I gotta get some sleep.
So sleep.
You really play this thing, huh?
That's right.
What's that one called?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Doesn't take much intelligence
to play that game, does it?
You should know.
Oh! Oh, shit!
What the hell are you doin'?
I don't believe this.
I got the scroll weapon, and I almost beat
Mechaturtle at the end of level three.
You got the scroll weapon?
He's losing his mind.
Come on, come on.
What's wrong?
No, Jimmy.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
He, he builds these things.
It means
he hasn't gotten better.
Listen, Jimmy,
you lost yesterday.
That was one loss.
One guy.
Will you listen to me?
See, this is what
he does all day. Nothing.
Dang, we've come all this way.
That wasn't nothing.
It's me, Corey.
That's what it is.
He's jealous.
Over you?
Geez, Corey, you're so thick!
You're all he's got.
Don't you understand that?
Aw, you're crazy. He doesn't
even figure that way.
And what if he does?
And what if you do?
Do what?
You know what.
It ain't like I need
you weasels, you know?
And you don't have to
be acting like you need me.
What's the matter with you?
Yesterday, with Lucas, like I
was somethin' special to you.
Look, Haley, all I said... I told
you, this is a business deal.
I'm not gonna be responsible for
making him more of a basket case!
It's them.
The guys from the arcade.
Corey, we gotta get out of here.
Come on.
We gotta get out of here.
Come on, Jimmy.
Come on.
No, Jimmy! Come on, Jimmy!
Come on!
Hey, boy! Hey! Hey!
Hey, you little jerk! You took
us for 20 bucks last night.
Yeah, what of it?
You didn't tell us this mutant
was some kind of pro.
Pro? My grandmother
could have taken you.
Let's just dish it up,
all right, smart-ass?
Hey, it was a fair bet.
Let's see what
the little mutant's got.
Hey, leave him alone!
Give it back to him!
What the hell is this?
Corey, give them the money.
This is for interest, dork.
You go ahead.
You have yourself a nice day.
Thanks, kids.
Thanks for the hat, moron!
What are they?
I always wondered
what he had in that thing.
It was her.
She was his twin sister.
They got down by the river,
Jimmy and her,
and somehow
Jennifer got too close.
Jimmy couldn't swim,
so he was afraid.
It was weird,
'cause she didn't go
downstream at all.
She just died
in a few feet of water
right in front of him.
It was really hard for Jimmy.
And for Nick.
Who's Nick?
My brother.
He was supposed to be
watching them for Christine.
Nick and Christine
didn't get along too well.
Because Christine was my dad's
second wife, Jimmy and Jennifer,
we were their half brothers, but
Christine didn't really see it that way.
After Jennifer died, well,
everything just fell apart.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go find a telephone
and call my dad.
You're quitting?
You can't quit. Not now.
Look, the contest
is in three days,
and he hasn't even learned
half the games Lucas has.
I mean, look at him.
It's over, Haley.
You're a quitter, Corey. And I
don't care if you did like me.
Your attitude sucks.
You wanted me to like you?
Not anymore.
Corey, I don't wanna quit.
Jimmy! Jimmy! You want to play?
He wants to play!
We're not quitting here, okay?
All right, I'm looking
for a couple of kids.
This one's a mental case.
Have you seen 'em?
Does he dress like you?
Well, then he couldn't be
too much of a case, all right?
That's very funny.
All right, now listen up, fruit fly.
It's time to get real.
Two kids, one is nine, one is
13, there's a girl with 'em
and they've been hangin' out in arcades.
Have you seen them?
I wouldn't tell you if I knew.
Where the hell are we?
That son of a bitch!
Oh, geez! What the hell
are you doing? God!
Whoo! Whoo!
Sorry about that.
Woods! You maniac!
I'm gonna sue! Do you hear me? I'm
gonna sue your ass when this is over!
You make money off little
kids, you miserable jerk!
You oughta be shot!
What are you doin'?
Do you want some more, huh? I don't
think he does. He's had plenty.
Son of a bitch!
I told you to stay
out of my way, Woods!
You chickenshit!
Ah, hell.
So this is where you live.
It's got some charm, you think?
Okay. We got three days
to get him good
at every game they could
possibly throw at him.
Are you kidding me? I mean, there
must be 70 games he's never played.
Trust me.
Now look. This is gonna
take a lot of quarters.
I gotta find someone,
a friend of my dad's.
He's a trucker.
His name is Spanky.
The pass line!
Spanky, the pass line!
The pass line!
Pay 12. Pass 12.
Five on the pass line.
It's coming out again.
Do or don't pass.
Oh, craps 12!
Once more! Once more!
On the pass line.
Winner! Seven!
Put it on the field!
Put it on the field!
On the field. Put it on the field.
Put it on the field.
Coming out again. They're comin' out.
Watch your hands.
Whoo! All right!
Okay, hard eight.
Spanky, hard eight.
I want a hard eight.
Hard eight.
Hard eight for the money.
Hard eight. Need a hard eight.
Comin' in.
Roll that eight now.
Eight's the line.
We won!
We won?
Haley, we won?
What'd I do? What'd I do?
Get outta here.
Can't be bettin' with kids.
400 bucks.
We're in fat city!
Oh, and, Spank,
here's your 10.
Ten bucks?
Okay, level seven?
Let me get my book.
Hi. This is Karen,
Nintendo gameplay counselor.
We have new games.
All you gotta do is wait until
the thing lights up. Uh-huh.
Here you go.
Nintendo Game Playing, this is Rick.
How can I help you?
Hi. My name is Haley,
and I've got a wizard
who's going all the way
to the championships in Los Angeles.
Is that so?
All I need is a little help.
Okay, let's start
with Simon's Quest.
Okay, now where exactly
are you in the game?
Candy bars,
bubble gum, licorice.
Hey, babe.
And, uh, keep the change.
Hey, not bad. Not bad.
Okay. Wait, can you say that
one more time?
Now, watch out
for those flying fireballs.
All right. Good.
Get that. Get that.
Over there. Over there.
I know I have it
around here somewhere...
Hello. Hi.
Super Mario Bros. 2.
Then you're starting out
from dungeon square two.
No. Mrs. Bateman, as soon as I know where
they are, you'll be the first to know.
Mrs. Bateman, you forgot to tell me
that your ex-husband is a maniac.
You know, children are one thing,
but with maniacs, I get more.
No, they're crisscrossin' around the state.
They're playin' video games.
No... Yeah, I don't...
Oh, shit!
Good, you see?
The best food at the airport.
They'd never come
to a place like this.
What the hell's
wrong with this place?
No... Mrs. Bateman, I'm gonna
have to call you back.
Hey, buddy.
You wanna make a quick 50?
If you have to,
we'll get it to go.
I don't wanna get that to go.
Hi. Cream soda, with some
fries, please, medium. To go.
No, no. Not to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're sitting here.
Uh, excuse me.
I'm lookin' for two kids, one about
this tall, the other one about here.
The hat.
Mister, we got 'em in all sizes.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Mind if I ask you
where you got that hat?
Yeah, I mind.
I got it from a moron.
What's that?
Nice hat.
Where'd you get that hat, huh?
Couple of kids.
They owed me some cash.
Where'd they go?
Who knows?
Hey! I'll tell you
where they were goin'.
Los Angeles! What kind of a
crazy idea has that kid got?
We're 500 miles
from Los Angeles. Huh?
Uh, Pop?
I'm gonna go have a seat.
Ah. Okay.
Here you go, Jim. Counting
Rampage and Dr. Chaos,
we have 72 out of 97, three of which
he's had a little trouble with,
so we have, uh, 28 more to go.
In one day?
Those look really bad, Corey. They look
really bad. How do these look bad?
These are classic. Because we
don't need any of that stuff.
Yes, we do. Now look. Look at this.
Look at this.
What? A jacket?
Look at this jacket.
Look at the design... We got plenty
of clothes. We need entertainment.
We need toys, entertainment,
like, look...
These are perfect entertainment. Look
what I got for him. Peek-a-boo Peepers.
Look, they're weighted,
so they can put them in
your soup, or, like,
you know, your friend's soup.
You can do everything with these things.
What do you...
Jimmy, you're such a dork.
Look, Mrs. Bateman, I got it
from this snot named Lucas.
They're headed for this big video
championship in Los Angeles.
No! Don't meet me there. I'll have
'em before you ever get there.
Mrs. Bateman? Mrs. Bateman!
The guy said, "Take it," so I took it.
How was I supposed to know?
I mean, it looked like a wreck.
we started stripping it.
Hey, buddy, you seen these kids?
Hey, we're tryin' to play craps here.
Oh, forget it.
Six! Six!
Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for a couple
of kids, this one right here in particular.
Have you seen him? I know
they're around here. No.
Hey, look what I can do.
Can I help you?
Uh, yeah, I'd like a light...
Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for my
lost son. He's, uh, handicapped.
He's been missing fully...
Hey! You!
I got him! I got him!
Where is he?
Where's who?
Don't give me any lip, you snot! I've
been followin' you across two states.
I'm bein' paid to bring your little
brainless brother back. Now point him out!
Mister, you'll find your
other son in the arcade.
I hate you!
Got you, Jimmy boy.
Time to go home, son.
We're too late.
He touched my breast!
What the hell are you doin'?
No. I...
Put the kid down. No. I didn't
touch anything! You can't...
You can't have the kid. The kid is...
What are you...
I got a letter of custody for
that kid right here in my pocket!
What are you doing?
Put me down!
Jimmy, are you okay?
Are you okay?
Come on.
We can't stay here.
Where the hell are we, Haley?
My home.
Your home?
Nice place.
Hey, Pop, I think we got it.
Wait a second.
I'm in the sixth palace
of Hyrule.
Oop. Yeah!
I got past the River Devil.
What the hell are you doin'?
I had the magic key. I got the cross.
I was closin' in on the Barbarian!
You're losin' it, Pop.
Let's get in the car, huh?
Jimmy's out cold in the house.
So you always, uh,
sit up here on the roof?
It's better than being inside.
Look. I know how I told you
I lived in some great place,
so don't be rubbing it in.
I didn't say anything.
It ain't my fault.
And it ain't my dad's.
My mom,
she had this little problem.
That's how I learned
about craps.
I thought, maybe when
my dad got home tomorrow night
from work, we'd have won.
Call him up from L.A. and
say, "Dad, guess what?
"We can buy a house now."
Geez, listen to me.
I even sound like a dork.
Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's
like the Adventures of Link.
He has to find Zelda, you have
to find a house same difference.
Boy, is that sexist.
It's not sexist.
It's romantic.
I know what you were gonna do, and
you can just forget about it.
There is no way!
I am not kissing a boy.
A girl maybe?
You smart-ass.
Yeah, information. I'm lookin' for a...
Brooks, Reno.
B-R, double "O," K-S.
I touched her breast.
She doesn't have any breasts.
No, it's a Haley Brooks.
All right.
Just give me all three.
All right. Yeah, look. What I really
need here is an address. Okay.
Jimmy, time to get up.
Come on.
Jimmy! Stop!
Stop! Jimmy!
Jimmy! Hey!
- Wait!
- Jimmy!
He's gone.
He's gone. It's over!
Just tell me the truth, Corey.
Did you really have a chance?
Yeah. No,
I don't know.
Look. I've never seen anyone better,
not even... Not even Lucas?
Yeah. Not even Lucas.
Hey, where you goin'? You
think I don't have friends?
I got friends.
Friends? Haley!
Hey. Hey!
Hey! Sit down and shut up.
You just made me some money,
space case.
Here, have a sucker.
Look. Look, kid, you just do
like your Uncle Putnam tells ya,
or else it's gonna be
a very long ride home.
What the hell is that?
Hey! What the hell are you doin'?
You're blockin' the road, guys.
All right. I want all of your
driver's license numbers!
Every one of ya. I want your
driver's license numbers!
So you touched her breasts, huh?
Oh, my God.
All right. All right.
Let's not lose our tempers.
It's very hot...
Come on, Spanky.
Faster, faster!
I'm already in a world of trouble when
ol' Pete find out I stole his rig.
Do you want me
to get a ticket, too?
Please, Spanky?
All right!
L.A., here we come.
Look out for the road hog!
Bye, Spanky.
Thanks for the ride.
Bye, Spanky.
- Thanks, Spanky.
- Good luck, you guys.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Andy Panda! Have you seen
Woody Woodpecker?
There it is.
Whoa, what is this place?
From three finalists, one champion.
Who will survive?
Video Armageddon continues.
All right. Let's move it,
move it, move it, kid! Hi.
Hi. We're here to register.
Good. Yeah, the
name's Jimmy Woods.
Jimmy Woods!
What game is it?
What game are they playing?
Well, for the prelims
we're playing Ninja Gaiden!
He knows Ninja Gaiden.
We're in! That's great.
You're in. Fantastic. Pin this to
his back and hustle it on in there.
You're blowin' it. You're late.
Move it, move it, move it!
And the clock moves inexorably
towards the final conflict.
From three finalists,
one champion.
Who will survive at Video Armageddon?
Remember what we taught you.
Will you look at this?
Oh. Oh, here we go.
A winner here. Let's go.
As the clock winds down,
who will survive,
as we have 10 seconds, nine...
Eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one!
We have a new winner,
number 169!
Number 169 is who we gotta beat.
Whoever it is, they're good.
It's Lucas.
Yeah. All right, Lucas. Yeah.
Hey, It's the wizard.
I brought my friends, too.
I wanted to show
them perfection.
You know, I hope you don't get
nervous like last time, wiz.
We wouldn't want you
to whiz on someone.
Let's just hope it's you.
Come on. Let's go.
The final elimination round
of Video Armageddon...
All right.
At last the final round.
Come up here,
my little beauties.
All right. Okay, Jimmy. This is you.
This is you.
Stay calm. You know this game.
Remember all the stuff you learned.
Remember where to warp on the boards.
You remember? Twenty-seven.
Go. Go get 'em. Concentrate. Go.
You can do it. You can do it, Jimmy.
Just... Go on.
Come up here,
my little munchkins.
Get your little bottoms up
here... we move into the final,
and last, elimination round!
Come on.
They have 10 minutes!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Go, go, go!
Come on!
He got it.
All right! Who is gonna win
the 50,000 smackeroos?
Oh, terrific. Whoa!
Ten, nine, eight...
Seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one!
And now the judges tabulate
to reveal our three
winning finalists!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the winners are 169...
- Yeah!
- Number 169, Lucas Barton.
You're out there.
I wonder where you'd all gone.
Number 255, Mora Grissom.
And 427!
Number 427, Jimmy Woods.
Jimmy! Whoo!
Well, ladies, gentlemen,
children, siblings,
this is the day that our three
contestants in 15 minutes
will fight for 50,000
But now, I am really
gonna brain you out!
They are gonna have
to play a game
that they have never,
ever, ever played before.
New game?
In 15 minutes
you get to your stations!
What? A new game? You didn't
say there'd be a new game!
What the hell are you doing?
What do you want? Get away!
- Freak.
- Warning. Video Armageddon
will begin in T-minus
15 minutes and counting.
Mr. Bateman.
Mr. Putnam, my son has been on the
road for almost nine days now.
You said you'd have
him back in hours.
All right, look. I'm glad you're here.
I'm glad you made it.
He's here. Believe me.
With all due respect, Mr. Bateman,
I've had a bitch of a time,
excuse my language, and I'd rather
not have anything else go wrong.
I mean, it's so unfair. How
can they give us a new game?
Hey, Lucas, man, that was great. You're
gonna rip their gizzards out, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Look, dork lips,
why don't you just make yourself
useful and get me a cold drink?
Hey. Hey, you!
You in the black shirt!
Up here!
Up on the steps!
Look! Hey, you!
Up here!
Hey! They're down there.
Over there!
Hey! They're down there.
It's him.
It's Jimmy! It's Jim...
Jimmy! Jimmy!
Come on!
Uh, stop eating!
Where are the goin'?
- Corey!
- Come on!
Wait! Wait!
Go, Jimmy, go!
Hurry up. Close it!
Hey, watch where you're goin'!
Let me go, man! Let me go!
Come here!
Stop those...
Get outta my way.
Where's your mother?
Come on, Jimmy!
Come on. Hurry up.
Wait a second.
There they go right there.
Come on!
Hey! Paul Meiner's next motion
picture Mayhem in Monte Carlo,
starring Zsa Zsa Gabor and Pee-wee
Herman in the romantic leads.
- What do we do, Corey?
- What do we do?
Come here! Stop those kids!
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Haley! Give me the pail.
Jimmy, give me the pail.
Stop those kids!
Come here!
Hold this.
The prop house over here, where
we contain most of the props...
Oh, damn!
What the hell do we do now?
Go this way, here.
Come here! Come here! Hey!
Come here, you little freak!
You maniac, what are you...
What are you...
Right there.
Go! Go!
- Get that kid! Come here!
- Come on!
Come here!
Come here! Get off me!
Come on! Come on!
What are you...
Get off!
Ah! Ah!
You all right?
Please, sit down and have fun! Just
sit down and have fun, damn it!
Are you okay? Face all right?
Yeah? You sure? Yeah.
Come on. Come on!
Okay. Down here. Down here.
Hurry, Jimmy. Hurry!
Follow me, Jimmy.
Wrong way! This way!
Over there, through the window.
Come on. Come on, Jimmy.
Come on.
Where are we? What is this? What is this?
The contest is about to start.
Wait a minute.
Haley, look down!
Where is he? Where's the little guy?
Where's the third?
It's time to go.
Woods. Woods...
Where is he?
I don't know.
- There's your cue.
- The option to override emergency destruct
has now expired.
Video Armageddon will begin in
T-minus two minutes and counting.
Our first contestant,
Mr. Lucas Barton from Nevada.
- Lucas! Lucas!
- Kick butt, Lucas!
I love you, Lucas!
90 seconds. Hey! Hey, Lucas!
Lucas, tell 'em to wait!
- Tell 'em we're here! Lucas!
- Lucas!
He's coming!
Go! Run! Run!
And our second contestant,
from the state of California,
the gorgeous Mora Grissom.
Sixty seconds.
Come on! Right here.
Come on, Jimmy!
Go, go!
Turn him over, you little snots!
He's mine. No.
- Fifty seconds.
- Ha! Stay back!
I'm a desperate man. I could do anything.
Very cute.
I'm gonna get ya.
- What the hell is that? Hey!
- Bye!
- Come here!
- All right, Corey!
God, I hate this job!
Forty seconds.
And our third contestant, from
the great state of Utah...
Thirty seconds.
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
Jimmy Woods!
19, 18, 17,
16, 15,
14, 13, 12... Jimmy,
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
11, 10 seconds,
nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four, three, two...
I give you Video Armageddon!
One, ignition.
Hey, hey!
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have three contestants,
one, two, three!
So I give you
Super Mario Bros. 3!
To your stations!
You have 10 minutes, and the
player with the most points wins!
We enter world one.
Lucas Barton, 1,300.
Jimmy Woods, 1,300.
Mora Grissom, 400.
Come on, come on, come on! Let's hear
it from the rest of you! You've got me!
Look at this!
You can do it! You can do it!
Come on!
Corey! Corey! Jimmy, Jimmy!
He's a finalist!
Why didn't you tell me?
He's a finalist! What?
My son's a finalist.
Jimmy! Watch the mushrooms!
Lucas Barton, 16,900.
Jimmy Woods, 17,200.
Miss Mora Grissom, 14,900.
Lucas, second.
Jimmy leads!
He's doing it! Faster!
He's a changed man, this guy.
No kidding.
- Come on, shorty.
- I love ya!
- All right. Now stomp on 'em.
- Get 'em!
Okay, now find a warp, Jimmy. Find a warp!
If he finds a warp, he can jump worlds.
Get it, Jimmy.
Go! Go! Go!
Lucas Barton, 24,150.
Jimmy Woods, 26,340.
Well, we got him cold now.
I flushed him out.
Course, we still have a deal,
Mrs. Bateman.
Shut up!
Oh, sure.
Oh, no. No!
The Turtle hit him
with his boomerang.
You're gonna have to start over, Jimmy.
Just stay calm, okay? Stay calm!
And Jimmy loses a life
and starts over in world two.
- Yeah.
- Lucas finishes world two.
And Mora finishes world two.
Oh, no. He's lost another guy! He's
gonna have to start all over again.
Jimmy begins world two again.
Lucas Barton, match. 52,520.
The star, Jimmy.
Get the star!
Whoo! Yeah!
- Jimmy finishes world two.
- I know you can do it.
Just go! Just go!
Jimmy Woods, match.
Lucas Barton, 59,080.
Jimmy Woods, 52,000.
Mora Grissom, 39,820.
Jimmy's found
the secret passageway!
That's the magic flute. Use it!
Use it! It opens the warp.
Jimmy finds the warp zone!
Yes! Yes, he's found the warp!
Jimmy Woods, 66,820.
Lucas Barton, 69,180.
Mora Grissom, 47,500.
She's out! She's out!
She's out!
Game play will terminate in T-minus 18...
Score! Score!
17, 16...
Come on, Jimmy. Score! Score!
15, 14...
13, 12, 11...
Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six...
Get the star, Jimmy, the star!
Five, four,
three, two, one.
Jimmy Woods...
Holy Moly!
And the winner is...
Lucas Barton...
Jimmy Woods from Utah!
Yeah! I know that kid! Yeah! Way to go!
Mora Grissom, 49,440.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Well, it was pretty remarkable.
California! What's
the matter with him?
Just pull over. Stay still, honey.
It's okay. Would you pull over?
- California!
- It's okay.
He's pullin' over. What the hell
are they doin'? I don't know.
Dad, pull over.
Well, go ahead.
Pull over!
What's the problem? Huh? I don't know.
He's yelling "California" and...
Is he okay?
Yeah, he's okay.
Where'd he go?
Wait a minute.
What is this?
What's going on?
It's all of us.
It was taken here.
Jimmy, is this California?
I guess, he just wanted to leave her
in a place where she was happy.
I guess he wanted
to say good-bye.
Why don't you take
our boys home, Sam?
We'll talk when we get
back to town.
Come on.
Let's go.
I'm traveling blind
trapped in darkness
Kept tryin' to find
Easy rules to win the game
Goin' round and round
In old disguise
So full of doubt
But I'm turnin' around
'cause now it's my time
I'm standing on the edge
Of tomorrow
Leaving far behind
my yesterdays
Its shadow's disappearing
As mornin' light is nearing
And tomorrow will be more
Than just another day
I've found my way
Playing it safe
for a long time
So afraid
To find the courage
to believe
But with each new day
I find the urge
To face the pain
Now it's time for a change
I swear, it's my turn
I'm standing on the edge
Of tomorrow
Leaving far behind
my yesterdays
Its shadow's disappearing
As mornin' light is nearing
And tomorrow will be more
Than just another day
I've found my way
And now
With a love I can't explain
He gave me faith
to find the way
Standing on the edge
Of tomorrow
Leaving far behind
my yesterdays
Its shadow's disappearing
As mornin' light is nearing
And tomorrow will be more
Than just another day
I've found my way