There Was a Crooked Man... (1970) Movie Script

Once upon a time,
when rivers ran blue...
... and the air in the valley
was sweet and clean...
Lord, for what we are about to receive...
...make us properly grateful. Amen.
- Amen.
Nothing like fried chicken
while it's still hot and crispy.
The quicker you open that safe
and give us the money...
...the quicker you can get back
to that tasty-looking chicken.
You're mistaken, son.
There's no safe in this house.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Wayne, you'd better do like he says.
A man works like a nigger all his life
to get ahead.
Some bastard just comes along
and takes it from him.
It's just a few pennies I put aside
for a rainy day.
You got enough there for a flood,
Mr. Lomax.
Damn. Must be a million dollars.
Mrs. Lomax.
Saddlebag isn't gonna be big enough.
Well, Hobbs, get something bigger.
It just ain't the same when it gets cold.
Is this all right?
Those were my mother's.
Must have been
a fine figure of a woman.
Don't feel so bad, Mr. Lomax... got rich once, you can do it again.
Think of it as a kind of a challenge.
That's all of it.
I do hate to eat and run like this.
What are you doing here?
Get out there and help.
You ain't gonna get your ass shot off
for no white man's money.
Come on, upsy-daisy, girls.
Come on, girls. Look lively.
Come on, now. Brighten up.
- Why, look who's here.
- Good evening, Goldie.
Oh, you poor man, you're all wet.
- And drunk.
- Well, come on in. You'll catch your death.
I got no business here, Goldie.
Being, as you know, cleaned out.
Oh, honey, we all heard about that.
It's just terrible, just terrible.
I thought if I could just sit down
for a while.
Oh, why, sure.
An old customer like you...
Friday nights just ain't been the same
without you.
All that money.
It's just hell.
Even my poor parrot.
He's gone clean out of his mind
since that night.
Oh, honey, you'll be back on your feet
before long.
Look, I tell you what.
How would you like to go upstairs
and have a look through the peephole?
But... But doesn't that cost
almost as much as...?
We'll put it on the house.
- Evening, Wayne.
- Evening, judge.
You're late. Just missed the fireworks.
By God.
By God!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
It's him!
It's him!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
Society has got to be protected
against the likes of you.
Paris Pitman Jr., having been
found guilty of armed robbery...'re hereby sentenced to 10 years
in the territorial prison.
- This time I caught you, you little bastard!
- This time?
You all through
messing around with my daughter.
I told her what I was gonna do.
By God, this time I'm gonna do it!
Daddy, thank God you came in.
But I just met her tonight. Tell him!
It was the Good Friday of 1873.
I was asleep in my sinner's bed.
Not alone, I gotta admit.
And suddenly,
a bolt of lightning struck the air!
And a strange white light filled my room.
And I heard the voice
of our blessed Lord.
And he said:
And I said:
"That's me, Lord."
And he said,
"I want you to do my work."
And I fell to my knees and cried:
"What shall I do, Lord?"
And he said:
"From this minute on, you're gonna preach
the gospel of holding out a helping hand... the less fortunate in our midst."
Good people of Deuteronomy... many of you here today
count your blessings...
...because you or your loved ones
are not deprived...
...of two or more of your natural senses?
As you see, poor Dudley
cannot hear a word I say.
He must read my lips.
Dudley, go to the easel.
Folks, keep your eyes on this poor man
with the mind of a backward boy.
He cannot utter the simplest word.
He cannot hear the loudest sound.
Dudley there was born a mongolian idiot.
A common mule had more reason
for being in this world.
But the hand of Providence...
...guided this stray lamb
to the Calvary Mission...
...where his remarkable talents
began to blossom.
Thank you, ma'am.
Bless you, ma'am. Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Every little offering helps. Thank you.
I thank you, friends, I thank you.
Your unbounded generosity will be known
all the way to Racine, Wisconsin.
In gratitude for your kindness...
...the Calvary Mission
for the deaf and dumb...
...would like to present to you...
...Dudley's beautiful rendition
of Moses and the burning bush.
And I take great pleasure in handing over
this inspirational subject...
...on your behalf
to United States Marshal Johnson.
Jumping Jesus, my heinie!
My heinie's on fire!
My heinie's on fire!
- You sleep late.
- I work late.
That's why I'm here.
Make it easy on yourself.
If you stay in town, I'll have to arrest you.
There'll be a trial, you'll get six months.
I guarantee it.
On the other hand,
I'll give you two hours to get out.
Maybe we could talk this over.
Now you've got one hour.
Herr Sheriff. Herr Sheriff. Robbed.
Robbed, I just got. In broad daylight.
- Who did it?
- Robber, who else?
He went into the saloon.
Floyd Moon.
Floyd, you're in a little trouble.
Don't make it worse.
Give me your gun.
Come on, Floyd. Hand over your gun.
Your gun, Floyd.
I want you to give it to me.
Sure, sheriff. Anything you say.
All right, out.
Get out of there!
All right, one, two, three,
four, five, six, follow me.
Welcome to the territorial prison,
I shall assume
we all have one thing in common:
A burning desire to be elsewhere.
But we're not.
My name is Francis E. LeGoff.
I'm your warden.
None of you has been particularly adept
at living according to the rules...
...on the outside. You'll do better here.
- Yes?
- He's just got phlegm, Your Honor.
The rules then: No singing, no whistling.
Any man who can walk
works on the rock pile.
All prisoners are required
to attend the hangings.
Coy Cavendish.
Yes, sir?
The date for your hanging
has not yet been set.
In the meantime, obey the rules.
Yes, sir.
Which one is Paris Pitman?
They're ready for you, warden.
Right this way, gents.
Is everybody here?
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Over here!
That's it. Now, just follow me.
Looks like you boys
are gonna be cellmates.
Got a nice, big cell for you.
Only one feller in it.
What's he like?
- He's the Missouri Kid.
- The Missouri Kid?
One of the greatest train robbers
that ever lived.
- One of the greatest.
- There must've been a hell of a bounty.
One of the biggest.
How do you do there?
You can call me Kid.
All right, Kid. My name's Paris.
This one here's mine.
You're welcome to the rest.
Get out of that bed, Dudley.
You know I gotta sleep low.
Finders, keepers. You take the top one.
Now, you know I got a bad heart.
I'm not allowed to do any climbing.
Horse manure.
There's nothing wrong with you.
I said, I got a bad heart,
you son of a bitch!
You fat-ass old bully.
Hey, Kid... been here a long time?
- Always.
Hey, you must be that Chinaman.
I heard tell he wrung the neck off
some other Chink in a railway gang.
If it was a white man,
they'd have strung him up on the spot.
What about you?
l... I pulled three years.
- What about you, son?
- Two.
Because he cried in front of the judge.
You should've seen him
sniveling like a street whore.
Fish piss. If it hadn't been for me,
you'd have got more, fraud.
You must know an awful lot
about what goes on here, I bet.
Excuse me. Where's the gents'?
He's got his foot on it.
I say, you must know an awful lot
about what goes on here.
You ain't pulled much time
in the pokey, have you, son?
If you want something, you'll pay for it.
I'll pay my way.
Hey, Tobaccy!
Listen, every spindle in this place
has a dodger game.
This one here is Tobaccy.
He sells you, like, cigarettes and plug.
Another one is Whiskey.
And then there's Sweets.
You ain't got a fella here
named Poontang, have you?
- Yeah?
- What's the going rate?
- Five tailor-mades for a dollar.
- Go and pay the man.
All right. Start asking.
How many ever bust out of here?
Now, don't ponder on that,
it'll just weaken your mind.
How many?
Well, none that lived to tell about it.
What time do they change the guards?
And where?
It's always different times
and different places.
And it's never all at once.
They don't miss a trick.
Those on the front gate,
always the same number on top? Below?
Believe me, sooner or later
you're gonna give up.
Son, let me tell you something.
It'll help you make your time here.
About 25 years ago...
...when I seen I wasn't ever
gonna get out of this place...
...I said to myself, "Kid," I said:
"Kid, you better figure out some way
to keep from going cuckoo."
Well, you know,
I tried this and I tried that.
And then one day, like, sudden-like,
it come to me.
A way to bust out of here.
No. There ain't no way out.
No, listen. I thunk me up a farm.
I mean, not a big place, it...
There's no more than 25 acres,
but it's real good land.
And now when things get too tough
around here for me...
...I just close my eyes...
...and I farm that land.
Well, anyway, I was thinking, son...
...if you was to get yourself...
Get yourself a farm, a store or something...
...why, it would help you
to pass the time.
It'd give you something...
Give you something to think about.
Thanks, Kid,
but I got something to think about.
All right, get to work!
Hey, hey, come on!
Chop, chop, chop.
We thought some little, bitty ones
might come in handy.
You see, there's this shoulder wound
I got at Gettysburg.
I was just a kid.
- Name.
- Cavendish.
- First name.
- Coy.
Maybe we can find
something easier for you to do.
Let's talk about it sometime.
Hey! Hey! Come on! Hit it! Hey, hey!
Hit it!
Oh, my God, how will I live through this?
I've got the chilblains all over.
I can feel my consumption coming back.
The one you caught at Gettysburg?
How can you eat that?
Oh, this ain't that bad.
It ain't as good as my cooking.
It'll be a long time
before you get anything that good again.
You got some gall to talk like that.
If you hadn't backed your butt
into that stove...
You put me here,
just like you'll be the death of me!
Fish piss.
It's no one's fault we're here but yours.
If you'd have listened,
we could've had a nice little house... could've got a decent job and gone
to work the way that other men do.
I'd have cooked and cleaned
and worked my fingers to the bone.
But, oh, no, no, no. That wasn't
good enough for you, Mr. Big-ldeas.
"Just one more dodge.
Make a million. Easy money."
- Everything I did, I was only thinking of us.
- Lies.
- Of you!
- Lies, lies, lies. Just a pack of lies.
- I'm coming down with something.
- Yeah.
- Consumption, I tell you.
- Yeah.
- My lungs are gonna go ahead of my heart.
- Have consumption.
I don't care what part of you goes first.
- Your name Paris Pitman?
- Yeah.
- Junior?
- That's me.
Hey, now, hold it.
Now, what's the trouble?
Why don't we talk about this?
You sure you got the right man?
Let's be reasonable.
That's it.
I've known Woody Lopeman for 15 years.
I'd give him the shirt off my back...
...but that don't mean
I'll let this town go down the drain.
Hold on there, Harry. It ain't like he was
an out-and-out cripple. He's doing his job.
The way I see it,
it's about time we got us a sheriff...
...who can treat that jailhouse scum
like they was meant to be.
- What do you mean by that?
- Face up to it, Billy.
He always did mollycoddle
those bastards.
Christ, look at how he got it. Asking
a robber to hand his gun over to him.
I don't care what the man's style is.
He kept this town clean and quiet.
He did his job good.
That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you.
He did his job, but he can't do it no more.
Doc, now, you know I'm right.
Can a sheriff with a busted-up limb
do his job? For my money he's...
Thought the two of us
were gonna have a talk.
I can't wait forever.
Things can get tougher, you know.
They can also get easier too.
It's up to you.
Go to hell!
- What was that?
- He said, "Go to hell."
Get to work!
This could be the beginning
of something big.
Such as what?
Such as we could be
running this place pretty soon.
They just must not like your face.
They keep trying to change it.
There's got to be a reason, Kid.
Somebody's got to have
something in mind.
Yeah, but whatever it is,
they're playing it close to the vest.
I couldn't find out nothing.
So, what are you gonna do?
Well, for one thing,
I've gotta get me some help.
Six to two he spits in your eye.
You got a bet.
Cabbage. My ma would have to whip me
before I'd eat it.
Well, I guess it's a matter of taste.
I notice you happen to like it. I hate it.
Here. Take mine.
I been watching you, Floyd.
What's going on inside you?
Nobody knows but you. Smart.
Real smart.
I hear you shot it out with a sheriff.
Cut him down to size, I hear, huh?
That's a pretty feisty thing to do,
if you did it.
I bet there ain't a man in this yard
with your guts.
If you did it.
I was...
I was drunk.
And I still beat him to the draw, by God.
Ain't that something?
You must be the goddamnedest shot
in this territory.
- Just one of the best.
- A sheriff?
He must have been crazy
to tangle with you.
- Well...
- Must have been a pretty big job.
Hey, you don't shoot a sheriff
if he caught you spitting on the floor.
I've had my share
of the big ones, all right.
Big jobs, big outfits. The best, right?
That's right. They had to be.
You're only as good as your worst man.
Well, me, I never could afford to be choosy
who I had on my side.
I'd wind up with some of the worst
lamebrains you ever saw.
- You know, this time in Nogales, we...
- Hey, four-eyes.
This time in Nogales,
there was this little bank...
Hey, four-eyes!
We're tired of coming to you.
This time you come to us,
you yellow bastard.
All right, come on, break it up. Get back.
Come on, get back. Come on.
- Nice work, son.
- Pitman.
The warden wants to see you.
What the hell is this?
In here, Pitman.
You have $500,000 hidden somewhere...
...and it isn't doing you any good.
Son of a bitch.
So that's what somebody had in mind.
Pitman, what sort of man
do you think I am?
I don't know. Hadn't thought
about it much, to tell the truth.
Not a happy one, I can tell you.
Does that surprise you?
Nothing surprises me.
The truth is, I find the atmosphere
of this place stifling, depressing, boring.
I'm sure you feel the same,
though perhaps not for the same reasons.
Keep talking, sir.
Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars
would do me very nicely.
I could go abroad,
perhaps Mexico, live happily.
You help me to escape
and I'll do the same for you.
- Not a bad bargain.
- Not a good one, warden.
That's half the money.
You'd like to keep it all.
Am I being selfish?
Your first few weeks here
have been difficult.
- I'm not much good to you dead, warden.
- Perhaps not.
Still, life is full of surprises.
So keep an open mind,
you never can tell.
No. No, I don't like having
my mind too open.
It makes it easier,
once you get around to changing it.
I tell you, it was all I could do
to keep from pitching in.
But the truth is, I once killed a man
with old Mary Ann here.
Mary Ann was his mother's name.
Judas Priest.
Hey, Tobaccy.
Give him these for me, will you?
I owe him.
- Come on, Kid, you know he's not allowed.
- They're gonna be his last!
Hey, Kid. What are you gonna do
with that when it gets ripe?
Smoke it, you silly son of a bitch.
What else?
Smoke it?
Cyrus, I just can't figure it.
What's Skinner got against the boy?
Oh, for God's sakes, Dudley.
Could've had it so easy.
- Who threw that?
- He did.
Come on, you guys.
Come on, you dumb bastards, move!
Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it, you hear? Stop it!
Stop them! Get in there and stop them,
you Chink son of a bitch!
What are you doing? Stop it.
Let go of me. Let go of me, you Chi...
Tell your commanding officer
the new warden's here.
This place is bigger
than I thought it'd be.
- Mr. Lopeman.
- Colonel Wolff.
Well, I'm not sorry to see you.
Things seem quiet enough now.
The last man I heard say that
was General Custer.
What's that gonna be?
Well, that was supposed to be
new quarters for the warden.
What was wrong with the old ones?
The last warden just wanted
something bigger.
And I guess he got it.
Look here.
They told me something
and I just couldn't believe it.
Did you ask for this job?
That's right.
But nobody asks to be warden
of this prison, Mr. Lopeman.
Even Daniel didn't wanna walk
into the lions' den.
These aren't animals, colonel.
You could've fooled me.
I'm your new warden.
My name's Lopeman.
You've all raised a lot of hell last week.
Here's what it got you:
Six dead, and you're still here.
From now on, if something's bothering you,
come tell me about it.
I mean that. Tell me first.
That's all. Eat your breakfast now.
- What's this?
- It's solitary, sir.
- How long has he been here?
- Ten days, sir.
Get him to the doctor.
There ain't none.
- This one?
- It's the longest. Three weeks.
Well, you must be the new warden.
What the hell is this?
Come in. Come in.
Cigar, warden?
Compliments of the old warden.
Don't smoke. Drink, maybe?
Don't drink.
...I guess you wanna hear the truth.
- It would help.
Well, maybe you ain't heard,
but I got 500,000...
Thousand, that is.
- dollars in U.S. legal currency...
...hid in a hole
somewhere in this territory.
Nobody knows where but me.
Now, the man who used to have your job
got to brooding on it after a time... I expect you will and...
Well, I'll save you the trouble
and tell you what we was gonna do.
After four weeks of solitary,
it's enough to kill any man.
I was supposed to break.
You know, start yelling like,
"All right, all right, get me out of here.
I'll tell you where I hid the money.
But the only person I'll tell it to
is the governor himself, face to face."
Sounds like something out of
one of them dime novels, don't it?
Well, anyway, here's the ticket.
Warden LeGoff
was gonna take me out of here...
...under his guard, to see the governor.
Well, me being such
an important desperado, see?
Only thing, on the way to the capital...
...we was gonna drop by
and visit with my money.
Split it down the middle...
...hightail it to Mexico.
Live like kings.
But... it turned out, Warden LeGoff
has gone on to a far greater reward.
Which is just about the luckiest thing
that ever happened to you.
Back to the rock pile, right?
You guessed it.
Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Thank you for everything, colonel.
- I'll be seeing you again.
- I hope so.
The way it works around this prison,
I generally see wardens only once.
Somebody in this pokey
must have an idea how to bust out.
Forget it, son.
For $500,000,
there's got to be a first time.
Five hundred thousand?
And whoever comes up
with a way, you split with him.
You're quick, Cyrus.
- Can you keep your mouth shut?
- He can't.
- I got it! I got it, I tell you.
- Well, let it out.
Easy. A tunnel out of here.
Ten feet down, 50 feet out, and we're free
and clear on the other side of the wall.
Now, you hold it right there.
You'll do your three years
and we'll walk out of here.
You know my heart can't take
three years in this place!
It ain't your heart that's weak,
it's your head!
Turn it off, turn it off.
It'd take you three years to dig the tunnel.
Then where would you be?
On the other side of the wall?
I wanna get a lot further than that.
Right, Coy?
Anyway, start smelling around,
and don't forget one thing.
I'm putting my trust in all of you
to keep quiet.
Like asking a pack of coyotes
to keep quiet about a dead horse.
We've already got more stone
than we can use for the new building.
Starting now, there'll be no work
in this quarry except for punishment.
You'll all return to the yard,
where you'll be assigned new jobs.
That man there
will remain on the rock pile.
Warden, I figure by now, every man
in this prison knows about my 500,000.
Yep. Yeah,
they'll be laying awake nights.
Each one trying to bust me out of here
to get his share.
Well, you had your chance.
Pitman, come over here.
Between this place
and the nearest town...
...there's 50 miles of crap and cactus.
One man on the loose out there...
You're too smart for that.
- Paris Pitman's in your cell.
- So?
- He's got a notion of escaping.
- Does he?
- You know he does, Moon. We all do.
- Do we?
Goddamn it, sit down.
I'm not saying you know
what he's gonna do.
Probably doesn't know that himself yet.
When he makes up his mind,
you'll know about it a lot sooner than I will.
I will?
You'll get paid.
Hell, Moon, you've done it before.
You sold out gangs
to every sheriff in the territory.
That's how you made your living.
You've done it for me. Remember Simmons?
That was different.
I never could stand Simmons.
He was a mean son of a bitch.
And all the others before him?
- I didn't care about them neither.
- But you do care about Pitman.
Do you think he's your friend?
I guess that's what he is.
A friend.
So you finally found one.
That's all. Go back to your cell.
Step it up, boys. Step it up.
Paris, whatever that is that you're drawing,
you can see it clear across the yard.
Hey, you three down there!
What's all that talk about?
Oh, just trying to get this whitewash
the right shade, captain.
Them buzzards on that wall
don't miss a trick, do they?
Pick it up.
Pick it up, you stupid Chink!
Pick it up!
What's going on?
Goddamn Chiney won't move.
What's troubling you, Ah-Ping?
Come on down, talk about it.
Ah-Ping, hold it!
Warden, don't you move a muscle.
Ah-Ping, put it down.
Put it down.
Put it down, Ah-Ping.
Now, come on down.
Come on.
Come on down.
Why don't you go back to the cell
and take it easy?
See you in my quarters after supper.
Yes, sir.
Pitman, this afternoon,
why'd you do that?
Just wanted to see if I could.
I ask you in here to say thanks,
and you smart-mouth me.
Oh, is that why you asked me here?
I'm gonna tell you something.
It doesn't make a damn bit of sense to me,
but those men look up to you.
What does that mean to you?
Oh, maybe an extra cup of coffee,
a few cigarettes.
Don't you give a damn what you mean
to them? What you can do for them?
So long, warden.
I'll see you around the yard.
Why do you work at it so hard,
proving to yourself you're a son of a bitch?
Because I am. It's my profession.
And I'm at the top.
- Top of a prison yard.
- Not for long.
It's not so easy
being a leader of men, is it?
Those men out there are filthy as hogs.
Can't you at least get them
to take a bath?
- Missouri Kid, you're next.
- No!
There's a limit, damn it!
A man's got his pride!
Come on, Kid, everybody's
gotta take a bath once in his life.
I ain't gonna do it!
I ain't gonna get in there!
Soap and water ain't gonna kill you.
- It's the idea of the thing! It's humiliating!
- Go on. Get.
I'll give you 10 smokes.
I'll give you 15 smokes.
Paris. Twenty. Twenty specials.
Now, don't... Stop that!
Twenty-five. Special!
Listen. I've had this thing on
for 35 years...
...and you're not gonna
get me out of it now!
Oh, for God's sakes,
leave them on, Paris!
It's the only way
they're gonna get washed!
Kid, we all gotta go sometime.
Oh, my God.
This is worse than I thought.
Hey, cut that out, Kid.
No peeing in the water.
- All right, Watkins, you're clean enough.
- Yes, sir.
Well, that's the whole lot, warden.
- Oh, no, it isn't.
- Hey, now, hold on. You can't mean...
You know, standing downwind
of you like this...
...I began to notice a...
- All right. All right.
I'm going in.
Hey, not a bad idea, at that.
This way, we'll always know
when you're coming.
Even on a dark night.
Just a minute.
Have it your way, warden.
Just stay away
when we're eating, please?
Damn it.
Which of these is the freshest?
Well, I wouldn't let a cow drink out
of any of them.
It's gonna be all right. All right.
What is?
They kicked and fussed, but they did it,
they took their bath.
Pretty soon they're gonna be
doing it regularly.
The same with going to school,
they'll take to it after a while.
Paris, in two years,
you won't recognize this place.
It won't do you any good.
- I took the bullets out.
- I took the bullets out.
You look like
you know what you're doing.
- Were you ever a painter?
- Painters? Why, we're artists.
Folks used to come from miles around
to buy our pictures.
We could use a few around this place.
Flowers, landscapes,
scenes from the Bible, angels.
Angels? Angels is what we do best.
You'd think they were gonna
fly off the wall.
All right, loudmouth, do one.
- What?
- Let's see you draw one damn angel.
Even a straight line.
Actually, I just give him the ideas,
you see.
Yeah, but she ain't got much
in the chest department.
She's an angel, stupid.
So what?
She's still a woman, ain't she?
You know, you ought to forget about them
angels, Whinner, and just draw tits.
That ain't how I remember them.
That's how they are.
You know, every guy in this prison
would pay real money for a picture like that.
Big money for something better
than angels.
Come here, friend. Here.
Beautiful. Remember? How about that?
Put this man on the rock pile.
Work him all day,
every day till I say stop.
Yes, sir.
You sure came down on him.
That sort of thing really gets to you,
don't it?
As I recall,
you don't imbibe strong spirits either.
What do you do?
Poor old McNutt.
Hell, all he's trying to do
is turn an honest dollar.
- See that spindle over there?
- Yeah.
Go over to him and pass the time of day.
- What am I supposed to do?
- Just be friendly-like.
Try to walk in.
- How are you today, Otis?
- One more step and I'll blow your head off.
How are them angels coming along?
Use up lots of paint.
The way you draw them,
I can hardly wait to get to heaven.
What are you laughing at?
He was gonna blow my head off.
It's a wonder your back ain't broke.
Little bastard.
He draws tits and I draw the rock pile.
Still, I sure wish we could get Dudley
to bust out with us.
To hell with Dudley Whinner.
Count me in.
Cyrus, that ain't the point.
It ain't you we need, it's him.
Since he don't seem to take to it,
looks like you're out.
- All right, that ought to do it, boys.
- Paris.
- Let me work on him. I'll swing him around.
- Think so?
Strikes me, when that little feller
makes up his mind, he just don't budge.
Course, if anybody could budge him,
I guess you'd be the one, but, well...
Come on.
Oh, Paris.
Like you to meet our doctor, Dr. Loomis.
Doc, this is Paris Pitman. He's our...
Well, sort of our foreman around here.
- Pitman. Looks good.
- Thank you.
Looks real good.
Doctors, dining rooms...
Pretty soon, folks will be paying
to get in this place.
It'll be fine, just fine. Two more weeks.
At the most, two weeks.
Hey, Kid.
- How often you go in the guards' barracks?
- Whenever it needs cleaning. Why?
How many guns they keep in there?
Oh, at least 15 smokes.
How about $ 15,000 instead?
Do you mean
that you want me with you?
No, I'm just an old coot. I'd slow you up.
Not you, Kid.
You got more savvy than any of them.
And the fact that I can get to them guns
don't mean a thing, does it?
Kid, maybe I can con the rest of them,
but I wouldn't try it on you.
I swear I never seen a man
so full of cow shit in my whole life.
Hey, how can you say a thing like that?
Listen, you pissant,
this is the Missouri Kid you're talking to.
Fifteen thousand dollars.
A real farm...
...not a dream.
Think about it.
What the hell. Why not?
Now, just stop it.
- Stop what?
- The con.
You're not fooling anybody.
It's just embarrassing.
- They're killing me by inches, Dudley.
- You'll outlive us all.
You got a lot of inches.
I hope everybody heard that.
So you really think
I'm trying to pull a con job?
I don't think. I know.
All right.
All right, then. I'll show you.
I can't take this kind of life
one more minute.
I'd just as soon go now
as embarrass anybody anymore!
Cyrus. Cyrus.
For God's sake, help me!
I gotta get out. I gotta get out.
All right, Cyrus.
All right, we'll go. We'll go.
I guess we're in.
All right, good.
Now, we need 12 sticks of dynamite.
You can get them, Dudley.
We need that much to blow up the wall.
- We're going out through the wall, huh?
- No.
But when the time comes,
you're gonna blow it.
- And I get the guns.
- Right.
- What about me?
- Coy.
You're gonna be opening the front gate.
Yes, sir, we're gonna leave
the way we come in.
And when will that be?
When I say.
It sounds like it's gonna be a big one.
That's good.
It's good for my crops.
- Morning, Otis.
- Morning.
What are you working on now?
Oh, inspirational pictures.
For the new dining hall.
Dudley, how are you fixed for paint?
I got just what I need.
Come on, boys, break it up.
Break it up. Boys.
All right, boys, break it up. Lockup time.
Eight o'clock already?
My, the days fly.
Pitman, I been looking for you.
Warden wants you in the dining hall.
All right, boys, let's break it up
back there. Now.
Don't all leave at once.
I wanted you to see it first.
Not bad.
- Pretty good.
- Yes, it's better than that.
And a hell of a lot of the credit
goes to you.
I suppose so. You too.
I won't deny it.
I've had my share of problems.
Those fellas at the capital,
they don't understand what I'm doing.
They never even heard of these new
ideas of penal reform, rehabilitation.
- Me neither.
- You're what they mean.
Paris, tomorrow they'll all be on hand
for the opening of the hall here.
Lieutenant governor, territorial
commissioner, all of them.
And I don't want them to ever forget it.
They'll make some speeches,
they always do.
And then comes a favor I want from you.
To get up, representing the men,
say a few words.
Show the lieutenant governor
what it's about here.
What we're like. The spirit we have.
- Right.
- I'm sorry, warden.
- Why not?
- The answer's no.
Don't tell me you can't make speeches.
You could talk a coyote out of a chicken.
You asked me to start them taking baths.
I did it. It was a lot of fun.
You wanted me
to help build this place. Sure.
Something to pass the time.
Better than swinging a pickax.
But I'm not giving speeches
to make you look good, warden.
- That's not the idea.
- I'm not gonna be your boy.
- That's not what I'm asking you.
- Of course it is!
Where's Whinner's paintings?
- What's that got to do with it?
- Where are they?
Would you want those hanging
on the walls of a prison mess hall?
Why not?
Help keep their minds off the food.
Tell me, when are you gonna hang Coy?
Next week. I just got the word yesterday.
But you weren't letting it out
till after tomorrow.
- Thought it'd be easier on him.
- And you.
And your grand opening
of a goddamn mess hall.
- Warden.
- What is it?
Whinner's here. You sent for him
to make some changes on the paintings.
- Tell him to wait.
- Yes, sir.
Believe me, I've put in enough pleas
for clemency to choke a horse.
All I got back was, "The law is the law."
The law? No law told you to build this!
No law told you to get a doctor,
or teach them or give them baths.
But hanging a 17-year-old kid
who didn't know what he was doing.
Who'd know the difference
if you buried a box of garbage?
- Who'd care anyway?
- It's my duty to uphold the law.
I'm sworn to uphold the law,
you son of a bitch.
That's what I am...
...but so are you, warden.
Make your own speeches.
Now, warden?
- Mr. Strong.
- Woody.
Hope you had a pleasant trip.
It was just God-awful.
Get the doc!
- It's in my belly, doc.
- All right. Move him.
Take him into the hospital.
Gently. Gently.
All right, men, break it up!
Form the lines again
and let's get this yard cleaned up.
Pick up the pace.
Miss Brundidge.
Sit down, everybody.
In a few minutes, you'll be eating
the first meal in the new dining hall.
Gentlemen, prisoners.
Your warden has asked me here today
to see this new building.
He seemed to think it was pretty big
onions that you built it yourself.
Well, it's a pretty fair job, I'd say.
Pretty fair job.
If some of you had applied yourselves
this way before, you wouldn't be here now.
Still, I guess you do
have reason to be proud.
Come to think of it...
...I suppose this is the only dining hall
in the world...
...ever built by murderers and bandits.
Even rapists.
Begging your pardon, miss.
This territory has laws
for men to live by...
...and that's the real point of everything.
When you haven't got laws,
you've got lawlessness.
And that leads to crime.
Chicken? I practically ain't seen chicken
since I studied anatomy.
- Enjoy it, doc.
- Thank you.
Say, Kid, what's going on over there?
In honor of the new mess hall...
...the governor's giving everybody
a full pardon.
- What have we got for supper here?
- Chicken.
I tore my pants. I'll be right back.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate
- How charged with punishments the scrolls
- Where's Tobaccy?
- I don't know. He must've slipped out.
- I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
We'll say grace now.
Lord, for what we are
about to receive...
...make us properly grateful.
- Warden.
Warden, I'd like to say a little something
on behalf of the men.
You go right ahead.
Here's what I mean.
He's the kind of man I was talking about.
On behalf of the men, I'd like to express
to the lieutenant governor...
...and to you, warden,
and to the schoolteacher...
...and the other distinguished guests...
...and all those law-abiding citizens
out there...
...just how much all this means
to us in here.
Imagine, after all we've been,
all we've done to society...
...we get chicken and green peas...
...and mashed potatoes.
Hey, Kid.
What's going on?
You know you're not supposed
to be in here.
That's the way they're going out.
Block it up!
The guns! Where's the Kid, huh?
Well, he went after them.
Twenty-five acres shot to hell!
What am I gonna tell the bank?
That's it.
I'm done for.
- Well, where's the Kid?
- Dudley, there's the wagon.
You and Cyrus get ready in there.
Once that gate's open,
we'll all pile in and take off.
All right, Coy, now's your chance.
Get that gate open.
We'll keep them off your back.
I thought we were going out the gate.
That's how they think we'd go.
But Coy?
That boy's due to hang next week.
So, what's the difference?
This way he's got a chance. Come on.
And them other two?
You wouldn't wanna run with them
two old daisies, now, would you?
Would you? Come on.
Goddamn, we made it! Free and clear!
This is as far as you go.
- Huh?
- This is as far as you go, Floyd.
No, I'm going with you.
You sold out your own gang.
I couldn't risk that.
Someday you're just liable to turn me in.
No. I wouldn't do that to you, Paris.
Ask Lopeman. I'm your friend!
Where are they?
They ought to be here by now.
They ain't coming.
Ain't coming?
What do you mean, ain't coming?
- Paris was gonna meet us here...
- Cyrus.
They ain't coming.
See these specs?
They ain't real, just plain window glass.
Whole thing's been a swindle,
Cyrus, and we've been taken.
All the way down the line.
What are we waiting here for?
We got the wagon. The gate's open!
No, Cyrus.
But it's clear sailing!
Even if we got out,
they'd catch us by nightfall.
I've only got
17 months left to do here.
Soon as I can,
I'm gonna find some work...
...get us a nice little house
in a good little town.
By the time you get out...
...l'll have it all ready
and waiting for you.
That's the way of it, Cyrus.
That's what we're gonna do.
Damn it, Dudley! Come back here!
I mean it, Dudley.
I really mean it this time!
In all my days,
I never met such an ornery...
...mulish, stubborn...
It's just like that time in Albuquerque,
I said it then and I say it now:
We're finished. Finished. We're quits.
You are, without a doubt,
the most pigheaded, stupid son of a...
Fish piss.
We've rounded up 10 more.
Take my advice and hang five,
keep the rest of them in line.
How many still on the loose?
We haven't found your boy,
if that's what you mean.
- He's mine. I mean to get him.
- I believe it.
I mean to kill him.
Big territory. Where'll you look?
He stole the money near Smithfield.
He must've hid it around there.
That's where's he'll be,
and that's where I'll be.
Hold it right there, mister.
Watch where you're going, mister.
This parrot has been sick.
Excuse me, both of you.
Two years a widow. Can't see how
a woman like you could stand it.
Shut up, horse thief.
- Bet he wasn't this good.
- Shut up.
Shut up.
Well, hello there.
Come on in and rest yourself.
- You know a man named Paris Pitman?
- Never heard of him.
Yes, you did. Man who stole
all that money. They caught him here.
Oh, why, that boy is in prison, ain't he?
- You the law?
- That's right.
Well, why don't you come on in anyway?
Yeah, it's a pretty good fit.
Little bit tight.
Hey, he must've been a mite skimpy
around the shoulders too, huh?
Yes, he was.
I wish he was here right now.
Instead of you.
Brushing up on my Spanish.
You ever been to Mexico?
Thanks for the horse.
You want something?
- Any men here?
- No.
- Do you live alone?
- I'm a widow.
Answer my question.
You seen any men around here lately?
You're the first one I've set eyes on
for three weeks.
That mule I spotted in your corral,
mighty fine-looking...
...considering she's been in jail.
Oh, shit.