Smiley (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[birds chirping]
[moans softly]
[wistful music plays]
[Álex exclaiming]
[both exclaiming]
What What are you doing?
No. I'm sorry. I thought it was a bug or
No, no, no. There was nothing there.
- What was it?
- I don't know. I have no idea.
[Bruno groans]
[amusing music plays]
[cell phone chimes]
- You want anything for breakfast?
- All right. Do you have muffins?
- Uh, no.
- Anything sweet?
- No, no, sorry. Um, but I do have oatmeal.
- Um
No. Hmm Or some hard-boiled eggs?
- Or a kiwi?
- Uh, no.
Really, I'm fine. Don't
The juice is fine. Thanks.
- I can make you a turkey sandwich.
- That's not necessary. I'm fine. Really.
[sighs]
[chuckles softly]
- Want a cigarette?
- Oh. No, I don't smoke.
- Do you mind if I?
- No.
- Or Well
- Yes. It bothers you.
- Maybe if you go on the balcony?
- I didn't think No, forget it.
Well, uh
[chuckles awkwardly]
So we had sex.
[chuckles softly]
Yeah. We did, huh?
- It wasn't really that bad, right?
- No! Not bad.
- It was okay.
- Yes, that's all normal.
- But you enjoyed it?
- It was normal.
- Normal?
- Yeah, it was just all right.
Well, you screamed a lot
when you were cumming.
- The last time especially.
- That's 'cause I had strained my calf.
Ah. That's why?
It hurt so much. Oof! My calf
- Ooh!
- It sounded like screams of pleasure.
No Well, I mean, a little, yes.
But it was mainly the calf. [chuckles]
You likely had a better time than I did.
Me? No way.
Come on.
You said a lot of things when I was
I always say that.
You always say
I mean,
"Bruno, you're fucking me so good."
"Bruno, I've never been fucked like that
before in my life."
You know how it is
when you're in the heat of the moment.
You end up saying all sorts of things.
Kinky things.
- But that many?
- It wasn't that many.
- You wouldn't stop.
- And you?
I did it to interrupt your monologue.
- Wanna take a shower?
- Yes.
Yes, I know. Over there.
[amusing music plays]
[door closes]
[cell phone buzzing]
The bar better be on fire right now.
- [whispers] He's still here!
- Who's where?
Bruno. The The nerd from last night.
He's in the shower.
Well, at least this one is clean,
because with Lolo, he was always
We hooked up, Vero.
And not just once, no.
We started in the bar and kept going.
- What's the problem?
- He drives me nuts!
[line ringing]
POLICE STATION
[cell phone buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[amusing music plays]
[whimpers]
[Albert] Hi.
Yes. [chuckles]
Sorry I'm just messing with you.
I'm not here. Leave a message.
Thanks.
[line beeps]
Albert, you're not gonna believe this.
You insulted each other, and regardless,
you spent the night together?
Yeah, no Look, I don't know.
One thing led to another.
It was brutal. Vero, I just
- What was?
- The sex was.
I mean, it was amazing,
and I wasn't in the mood to fuck.
It's not like
I really felt like hooking up.
- I mean, I thought he was interesting
- I mean, I thought he was hot.
It's not like
I was sexually attracted to him.
But he really pissed me off.
I just wanted to show him
that he was the same.
That, at any opportunity,
he'd drop his pants.
I wanted to show him
that a guy like him didn't intimidate me.
I wanted to shake his
unbearable sense of superiority.
Insult him, you know?
Humiliate him.
And show him that
it wouldn't happen again, you know?
And get out of bed
and leave without saying anything.
Really, Àlex.
I swear I try, but sometimes
I really don't understand you gays.
You have no idea
how the sex was. [giggles]
It was the best sex I've ever had.
We even came at the same time.
And even our synchronization
was perfection.
- Better than Gemma Mengual.
- [Vero chuckles]
Who knew that sex with someone you hate
is better than with someone that you love?
- [Bruno chuckles]
- [Álex sighs]
Verónica. I am ready to talk now.
I have to go now. [sighs]
Right. How's it going with Patri?
- She called me "Verónica."
- Oof.
- I know.
- Tell me later. [blows kiss] I love you.
- I love you, pigeon, see ya. [blows kiss]
- Love you.
[sighs]
[new age music plays on speakers]
[Patri] I made you some tea.
Thanks.
Uh
What is all this?
I've been thinking a lot
about what happened last night.
Ah
THE BEST EXERCISES
FOR COUPLES IN CRISIS
[Vero chuckles]
- This is a joke, right?
- You think it's a bad idea?
- Well we're not in a crisis.
- [chuckles] One minute.
"It is common for one of the partners
to initially deny any existence
of a serious crisis."
Patri, we argued over a misunderstanding.
It's not the first time
"And that person will frequently attribute
the fights to irrelevant issues."
- "Refusing to delve into it."
- Can you let go of the paper?
My love, I think
it's important to find out
why you acted like that
with the Ibiza thing.
Ahh. Oh.
No, no, no, no. [chuckles]
Forget about Ibiza.
I called them last night
and turned it down.
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, but that doesn't change the fact
that you hid it from me
and treated me like shit.
Patri, but I apologized about that.
Oh! [chuckles] So that settles it?
That's great.
So there's no problem.
It's as if it never happened.
- Yay! What a relief!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
All right.
[Vero sighs]
- What's next?
- Here.
"Exercise number one.
Look at your partner with love."
[amusing music plays]
"This simple game
will help you reconnect."
"It consists of looking
directly at your partner
and locking eyes with each other
and trying to enhance the look you had
at the beginning of the relationship."
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Patri] Okay.
- Mm.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
[Patri breathes forcefully]
[exhales]
I love you.
- [laughs]
- Seriously, Vero.
- Come on. It doesn't work that way.
- I'm sorry.
Take it seriously.
I love you too,
but this is too forced like this, Patri.
[sighs]
Okay Okay.
Can we try a different one, please?
"Exercise two."
"Write down five bad things
and five good things about each other."
Is this one okay?
- Super.
- Yeah?
[giggles]
[wistful music plays]
[music fades out]
- Your apartment's really nice.
- Thanks.
It's tiny, but for just one
No, for one person, it's ideal.
[chuckles nervously]
Well
I should
I should get going.
No, stay.
[wistful music plays]
- Huh?
- Uh No, um
If you want, I can go out and get
muffins or cookies
or chocolate croissants.
Whatever you feel like.
And then you can have breakfast here.
And we'll go back to bed
and turn off our cell phones
and stay here all day.
I know nobody says this
after a first date,
and you probably just wanna
to get the hell out of here.
But, well, I don't care.
I'm sick of playing games,
and I want to be honest with you.
I would love it if you stayed.
[jacket thuds]
[music intensifies]
[music stops abruptly]
Uh
Well, I should really get going.
Okay.
You Uh
Today you must have a bunch of plans, huh?
Mm. Yeah, well
Why do you ask?
No No reason.
I was just curious, I guess. [chuckles]
- So what about you?
- I
I, um I have a few friends from New York
that are visiting.
And, uh
They had mentioned getting brunch.
[chuckles]
And, well Wait, uh Why ask
I mean, why are you asking me?
No, no. No reason. It's nothing.
Oh.
And what time is it at?
Nothing's set yet. Sorry, I mean Wait
There are no fixed plans.
- Or rather there's no rush at all.
- Mm-hmm.
What I'm trying to say is
I can see them later.
They actually went out last night,
so I'm sure they're hungover.
[both chuckle]
[wistful music plays]
We could spend the morning together.
Have something to eat.
And then go to
the Italian neorealism exhibition
at the Contemporary Culture Center?
Hmm?
[jacket thuds]
[music intensifies]
[music stops abruptly]
What time is it at?
Nothing's set yet. Sorry.
I mean There's no rush at all.
Ah, great.
But I guess I better get going.
Um I don't know. You tell me.
- Do you want me to leave?
- Well, if you have to, then
I don't know. We're at your place.
Yeah, that's why I'm not the one
who has to be going. [chuckles]
Wow.
Message received.
- No, wait. I wasn't kicking you out.
- You didn't tell me to stay either.
- You didn't tell me you wanted to.
- I never said I wanted to be here.
I didn't say I wanted you to stay.
- So what? Should I leave?
- If you'd like.
- Fine, I'm going.
- Go ahead.
- Fine, I will.
- Perfect.
[elevator whirs]
Well, I'll, uh
- Uh See you soon.
- Mm.
- Thanks for the the invitation.
- Mm-hmm.
That wasn't a very good start, was it?
- No. [chuckles]
- No, but But, well [chuckles]
[elevator clatters]
[elevator clatters]
It's almost like that movie, right?
What movie?
The one where the main characters
spend the whole movie fighting,
and, in the end they get together.
That's literally the plot
of half the movies that exist, Álex.
Bringing up Baby?
I think.
By Howard Hawks?
- Um
- With Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn
He's a paleontologist, very intelligent.
She's a brat, really annoying.
Yeah, but I saw it when I was a kid,
and there was this lion?
No, a leopard
Oh, well, close enough.
To calm him down,
they sang the song. Oh, what was it?
Uh Uh
- I can't give you an ♪
- Uh Um
- Anything but but love ♪
- Anything but love, baby ♪
Baby ♪
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
[both chuckle]
[wistful music plays]
Did you know that
the song was mistranslated in Spanish?
- Uh, no
- Yes, the original says,
"I can't give you anything but love."
- [Bruno] Right?
- Oh
But in the dubbing they changed it to, uh
"I can give you anything but love."
That's it.
[both chuckle]
But in the end she gives it.
What?
Love I mean
Ah.
- Yeah. A great ending.
- Hm.
[both chuckle]
But a bad idea.
A lot of people like happy endings.
Even when they're a lie?
I, um, better get going.
- Um, you got everything?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
[sighs]
[lively music plays]
These are fritters.
They are already floured.
Just dip them in egg, and you'll be fine.
- You need to use olive oil to fry them.
- Mom, I don't eat fried food.
[cell phone chimes]
I'm gonna give you the hake.
You can freeze it.
If I were you, I'd cook it tonight
'cause of how fresh this fish is.
We're not having dinner?
I said I would meet Ramiro.
IBRA:
YOUR ASS LOOKS GREAT IN THOSE JEANS
Who's that?
Your father's friend
who works in the merchant navy, remember?
- He came to dinner the other day.
- Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
It looks like his boat
will be repaired soon.
So he wants to take advantage of
his last days in Barcelona.
WHEN I SEE THAT LITTLE ASS, OMG
But I think he wants to make amends
for disappearing all those years ago.
[chuckles] Right.
WE'LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT I
Come to the house one of these days.
I need you to get the nativity scene
down from the closet.
It's almost Christmas,
and I still don't have tinsel up yet.
The house looks
sadder than a notary's office.
[inhales deeply]
- Will you be able to fit all that?
- Huh?
- In your fridge. You think you have room?
- Uh, sure. Yeah, of course.
I gave you the whole hake fillet.
That way there's enough for two.
What'd he tell you?
Who, me? Nothing.
You know I'm always
the last to find out about this stuff.
But it's obvious
he's completely in love with you.
[whimsical music plays]
"Generous. Adventurous."
"Sexy. Confident."
Is this your girlfriend,
or is this a new maxi pad?
They're true. They're beautiful things.
I mean, if you gave this to me,
I'd throw it away.
"Tenac" [chuckles]
"Tenacious." You can't be serious.
Out of the 1,500 nice things
that there are in Patri,
all you thought of is "tenacious"?
- But she is.
- [chuckles]
You know what else she'll be
if you give her this list?
Single.
Fuck. I mean,
I'm just doing what she wanted.
No, no, listen.
Your girlfriend didn't ask for
a list of five adjectives
that anyone could think of.
I don't know, think.
Think about what Patri has
that makes her unique to you.
Like what it was
that first made you fall in love with her.
And then enhance it a bit more.
You're not writing a soap opera.
Get out now.
I need to focus on my lips,
or they'll turn out crooked.
I'll look like Cobi,
the puppy from the Olympics, huh?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, thanks.
I love you.
- Listen up, everyone. We're taking five!
- [Christmas music plays on speaker]
The North Pole had a special surprise
delivered to our very own office.
Gather around.
Everybody, let's go. Come on!
Ah yeah, you heard that right.
It is from the farthest reaches of Lapland
that we are visited today
by none other than
Ah, here we go.
[Lis] It's [imitating drumroll]
What happened to your eye?
- What?
- This
Oh, nothing. I bumped my face.
- Did you get that drunk?
- [grunts]
[imitating drumroll]
Wait. No. Where's Santa's hat?
- You're supposed to be wearing it.
- [groans] Come on. Take it.
You can stop the music.
- [sighs]
- [music stops]
As you may know, for me,
Sunyer Architects is more than a business.
It's a project that's very successful
with a strong global projection.
- But, above all, it is one large family.
- [Albert mimics in unison]
[workers applaud]
[wistful music plays]
ÁLEX 2 GYMS
[Sunyer] That's why this time of year
is so special to me. I feel that
[cell phone chimes]
anything is possible
at Christmas, isn't it?
IBRA:
SORRY IF I WENT TOO FAR
DINNER AT MY HOUSE?
I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
ÁLEX 2 GYMS
BRUNO THE SNOB - ÁLEX 2 GYMS
HEY - HEY
[Sunyer] That is why I'm very happy
to announce that this year
all of your wishes will come true.
[whispers] Albert, Albert.
He's typing. What do I do?
Albert.
BRUNO THE SNOB:
HEY
[cell phone clicks]
ÁLEX 2 GYMS:
HEY
[cell phone clicks]
The bad news is that I won't be able
to solve the problems with your families.
- Or partners.
- [Lis chuckles]
And I can't perform miracles either.
[workers chuckle]
We're going to increase
your annual bonus by 10%.
[workers applaud, cheer]
[Sunyer] We've improved
the Christmas baskets,
which you'll be able to pick up
next week at the Christmas party.
- [panting]
- And above all else, most importantly,
our Secret Santa
will be organized by Albert,
my son-in-law
who's been doing it for ten years.
[workers applaud, cheer]
[Sunyer] Let's hope he does
as well as he normally does.
[Sunyer's voice fades]
[Sunyer faintly] Because we wouldn't want
him to ruin our holiday spirit.
- [dance music thumping]
- [panting]
[Sunyer faintly] He may be my son-in-law,
but I won't let him phone it in for this.
[continues panting]
[Sunyer] Let's get back to work.
Everyone to their places.
The party is over.
- Amazing.
- Thank you.
I don't get it. Is he playing hard to get?
No, because he was writing to me.
Or what if he's embarrassed?
Like, should I write to him
or should I wait?
Hey, have you seen a pen anywhere?
Oh, wait. I got it!
I can send him a message
like I'm promoting the bar.
Then I can say, "Oh, I'm sorry.
I included you by mistake."
Àlex, pigeon,
you're going around in circles.
If you want to see him again,
call the guy and say so.
Are you insane?
I don't know if he's interested.
How many guys have messaged you
on Grindr today alone?
Why? That means nothing.
You're so used to being chased,
you can't stand
having to make the first move
with someone like him.
- Come on, come on. That's not true.
- [cell phone chimes]
Is it him?
[sighs]
Look. If he hasn't said anything,
it's 'cause he doesn't like me.
It's better, okay?
Because we are super different.
He's so pedantic. He's a snob.
We argue all the time.
Look, he is not the right guy for me.
You have a customer.
[huffs]
Hello, what can I get you?
Uh, I'll just take a beer.
[tense music plays]
[dance music playing on speakers]
[groans softly]
- How long's he been in there?
- At least an hour.
[banging]
Albert, are you okay?
Should I tell Sunyer?
- No
- No, no, no. We better call 911, right?
- He could've had a heart attack.
- Or a stroke.
- 'Cause at his age, they get more common.
- Lis, no. We're not calling.
Are you sure? If we wait too long,
he could have a sequela.
[banging]
- Albert, I'm gonna kick this door down.
- [Albert] Leave me alone!
Well, okay.
That rules out a stroke at least.
Okay, that's it. Out, out.
Come on. Get out and close the door.
- Come on.
- Don't tell anyone.
- [Ramón] Okay, okay.
- Right.
[sighs]
Albert. It's just us now.
- Do you know what it means to be young?
- Christ.
[Albert] Knowing when the party starts
but not when it's going to end.
When you're young,
the endings aren't in your plans.
Everything's starting.
It's all new.
And, if it's over,
you know you can start again the next day.
I think you're just coming down
from your MDMA.
You remember when
we used to go out partying, Bruno?
Anything could happen back then.
Get out. We'll go to the pharmacy
for some tryptophan.
- Come on.
- And when we'd start to dance?
- [Albert] Huh?
- [sighs]
The only thing that mattered
was our next beer.
[sniffles]
The next hit of something.
The next time we'd lock eyes
with a girl.
[sniffling]
I'm never looked at now.
[stifling sobs]
And I'll never be looked at
like that again.
[sniffling]
[breathes deeply]
[Ramiro] It's a nice bar.
I hadn't heard of it.
[Álex] Thank you, sir.
You from here?
[chuckles] I should say yes,
but then I'd be lying.
And don't call me sir, please.
Um
This This place is
Mm A gay bar, isn't it?
That's why you're here, right?
Huh? No, no, no. I had no idea.
Outside it looks like a normal bar.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say you weren't normal.
I just meant
I meant it's, uh well
I just meant that
- Just that you are a friend
- Mm-hmm?
of Dorothy's?
[chuckles] "Dorothy"? No.
- No? Isn't that what you say?
- Not for centuries, no.
[chuckles]
But, yeah. Yes, I am.
And it's okay if you're not.
Everyone is welcome here.
- And do you like working here?
- I hate working here.
I didn't want to work
for my father-in-law.
I was supposed to be a painter! [groans]
To exhibit in Berlin and New York.
And be living in an abandoned factory
in Poblenou.
Okay. So you don't have all that,
but you've achieved other things.
- Oh yeah? Like what?
- Like your three children, for example?
You telling me you'd exchange them
for three nights out?
What? No, no. Of course not.
And you have Núria. She loves you
- Come on. She puts up with your shit.
- [chuckles]
She does everything for you.
So you can't complain. She does a lot.
- No regrets.
- [Ramiro] I'm glad to hear that.
There's nothing worse
than reaching a certain age
and regretting the decisions
that you've made.
Or the ones you didn't.
Those are the worst.
You ever wondered what your life would
look like if you'd made other choices?
It's never too late to change. You know?
[Ramiro] Until it is.
Sometimes I feel like
I've missed all the trains.
When you're young, you assume
there will always be trains to take,
but there aren't.
[Albert] Nobody warns you,
but one day they stop coming.
[Ramiro] And, if you haven't
gotten on one,
sooner or later
you'll end up alone on the platform.
[Albert] Or worse, in your haste
you end up getting on the wrong train.
[Ramiro] Have you ever felt like that?
Oh, hey.
Àlex, honey, hurry.
Be a dear and give me a hand
with the speakers, will you?
I've just had my nails done.
Oh.
Who's this incredible sugar daddy?
Are you joining us for tea, honey?
I'll be right there.
No, no, no, no. Do what you have to do.
I won't bother you anymore.
Have a nice day.
Hey. Come back again. Whenever you like.
[blows kiss]
- [door opens]
- [Lis] No, no, wait. Mr. Sunyer
- What exactly is going on here?
- Nothing. He's feeling better.
[banging] Albert!
[continues banging]
Albert!
You better unlock this door immediately.
[amusing music plays]
What are you playing at now?
I just didn't feel well.
I don't give a shit.
I just spoke to my daughter.
Why the hell is she picking you up
at the police station?
Wait, what?
[Sunyer] Oh, he didn't tell you?
The other day
your friend not only got drunk,
he tested positive
for ecstasy and marijuana.
He got into a fight
with some teenagers at the Apolo.
And, on his way to an after-hours club,
he decided to skip a checkpoint
and ended up with his car
smashed into a lamppost on the promenade!
[groans]
And Núria is very upset.
And it's not the first time.
So you should go see her right now
and sort things out.
Or you and I will have a problem.
- Is that clear?
- Yes.
Off you go.
What are you doing? Don't you have work?
- [Lis] Yes, Mr. Sunyer. Let's go.
- Yes, of course.
[upbeat jazz arrangement
of "O Come, All Ye Faithful" plays]
[Vero] The first time I saw you
- [doorbell rings]
- I knew it wouldn't be the last.
- Hey, how are you?
- [Vero] Hi.
[Vero] That there would always be
a next time when I would open my eyes
and you would be there.
- Your order.
- Thanks.
[gasps] Oh shit. I'm so sorry.
[Vero] Up until that point I had always
believed that love wasn't meant for me.
I'm sorry.
[Vero] That it was a hoax
that straight people sold us.
You know, all that romantic comedy stuff?
Boy meets girl.
- Boy starts dating girl.
- [somber music plays]
Girl introduces boy to her parents.
Boy and girl get married.
Boy and girl have a child.
And then another.
And another.
Until boy and girl are trapped
in a life they didn't choose
and one they don't know
how to escape from.
And there comes a moment
when boy and girl look at each other,
and they don't recognize one another.
Hello.
Hello.
[Patri] But, being with you, I've realized
that love can be so much more than that.
Sorry, I know it's not
the list you asked for, but
Are you afraid we'll end up
like the boy and the girl in your letter?
No, we won't.
No? But you're afraid that we might.
Why haven't you ever told
your parents about us?
- What do they have to do with all this?
- Just answer me.
Well, Vero, I don't know.
They live far away,
and why does it matter if they
You talk to them almost every day.
Aren't you sick of lying?
- Is that what this is about?
- No. You don't get it.
It just shows that
you're not being 100% yourself.
I don't think I am either.
I don't know. All of this
The apartment, the mortgage
And what's next?
You don't want kids anymore?
Yes, of course I do. I don't know.
I I think I want it. I just don't know
why I want the things that I do.
- Are you not happy with me?
- [sighs]
It's not that, Patri. It's not that.
No, but it is, okay?
I don't know what's missing.
Just tell me what it is, Vero.
- I don't know. Look, I
- Yes, you do know.
- But you don't want to say it.
- I really don't know.
It's obviously not nothing, okay?
- Should we sell the apartment or
- No! What are you? Crazy?
We invested so much money. No.
Well, then what is it, exactly?
Well, I want to be my own person!
I want to get out of this this box
and this stupid cliché
we've put ourselves into.
This fucking heteropatriarchal
monogamous couple stereotype
that we're supposed to be.
An open relationship.
[gasps]
[melancholy music plays]
Well, I don't know.
I guess.
Patri, say something, please.
Write it here.
"Rule number one."
"We will never lie to each other
ever again."
Okay.
BRINGING UP BABY
["I Can't Give You
Anything but Love" plays]
I can't give you
Anything but love, baby ♪
That's the only thing
I've plenty of, baby ♪
Dream a while
Scheme a while ♪
You're sure to find ♪
Happiness, and I guess
All the things you've always pined for ♪
Gee, I'd like to see
You looking swell, baby ♪
Diamond cuff links
Woolworth's doesn't sell, baby ♪
ÁLEX 2 GYMS
HEY
I can't give you anything but love ♪
Can't give you anything but love ♪
[ringing doorbell]
[door buzzes]
Dream a while
Scheme a while ♪
[message sent alert]
Gee, I'd like to see
You looking swell, baby ♪
[rings doorbell]
Till that lucky day ♪
BRUNO THE SNOB
ONE NEW MESSAGE
[door opens]
I can't give you
Anything but love, baby ♪
I can't give you anything but love ♪
[song ends]
[wistful music plays]