On Becoming a God in Central Florida (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Previously [MIMI.]
It's all Travis's.
He bought it.
I'm just storing it.
Worst thing about him dying is that now I can't divorce him, Look, I don't meet a lot of folk during good times.
I do meet folk when they need a shoulder to cry on.
[ISAAC.]
We need you out of the shot.
Sir.
- FAM took my family.
- Will you-you get him Obie Garbeau took my family.
[YELLS.]
What I'd really love is to speak at the rally.
What would you say? My dream didn't end in the swamp.
- [WOMAN.]
No! - It lives on in the pool.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE.]
I have access to people.
Suburban people.
But they're gonna want FAM goods stocked here.
Buy the inventory.
Spackle your little eye-spy here.
You get to keep boosted ticket sales, I get my house back.
I want to be part of the FAM.
Okay, Ernie.
[GRUNTS.]
Shit.
- Ah, fuck.
- Ugh.
Came in this morning, there they were.
You should be wearing gloves.
Did you call animal control? They're on their way.
You know, my daddy built this park.
- That man invented the lazy river.
- [MOUTHING.]
Point is, I have been coming to this park nearly every day for the past 38 years.
I have seen heart attacks, marriage proposals, projectile vomit, desegregation.
But never, I mean never have I seen birds drop out of the sky.
[UP-TEMPO, DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS.]
- [OBIE.]
Hello.
I want to personally congratulate you on your impressive business acumen.
[GASPS.]
You're the kind of businessman who'd benefit from one-on-one mentoring at my retreat on Paradise Cay.
Sounds good, doesn't it? - Yes.
- But wait.
I see here you're not a Washington yet.
Think you can accrue enough Founders points by next week [AUTOMATED VOICE.]
Cody Bonar.
[OBIE.]
I think you can.
Good.
Hope to see you there [AUTOMATED VOICE.]
Cody Bonar.
[OBIE.]
so I can shake your hand.
[LAUGHS.]
[ANSWERING MACHINE REWINDS.]
Hope to see you there [AUTOMATED VOICE.]
Cody Bonar.
[OBIE.]
so I can shake your hand.
Hope to see you there [RHONDA.]
You got to let them know you got coconuts down there.
That's all anybody's ever buying.
- [KRYSTAL.]
Cheers, Neenee.
- Coconuts.
You-you know what I mean, right? Yeah, I know what coconuts - Do your thing, Ernie.
- Okay.
- [BOTH.]
Go, Ernie.
Go, go, go, Ernie.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
Hello, friend.
- How would you like to be - [RHONDA.]
Yeah, uh-uh.
- And-and maybe smile a little.
- Mm.
- Smile a little? Okay.
- [RHONDA.]
Mm-hmm.
Every time they buy something, you - it's money in the - [RHONDA LAUGHS.]
- That's creepy as hell.
- What'd I do? - Yeah, you look weird - Creepy as hell.
- Do not smile.
- [LAUGHS.]
What? A-And speak to us, your audience.
- Okay, that's good.
All right.
- Yeah, we want Are we gonna buy FAM products? - I don't know.
- I don't know.
With-with FAM, every time they buy something, you get to put With FAM, when-whenever they buy something, that's money in your pocket.
Mm-hmm.
They get coffee, you retire at 35.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait a minute, I'm-I'm 40.
So what? Ernie, come on.
- Coconuts.
- Coconuts.
I just I'm not good reading from a script.
Well, Ernie, not everyone has the teeth to be a closer - and climb the ranks.
- Mm-mm.
But I want to close.
I want to climb the ranks.
- Ooh.
- Exactly.
You see what I did? I took something from you, and right away you wanted it.
You needed it.
- Geez.
- Yeah, it's called human nature.
Reverse psychology works.
When we take away peoples' stuff at work, they really want it back.
Maybe I can use that to get Harold interested in playing catch.
- Mm-hmm! - [ERNIE LAUGHS.]
Oh.
All right, I'll see y'all later, okay? - [KRYSTAL.]
Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- Bye-bye.
- [KRYSTAL.]
Bye.
That man really needs some psychology.
Doesn't matter, though.
- Splashercize is a hit.
- Mm-hmm.
- [WHOOPS.]
- The downline respects the upline, and the upline's - got a-a steady hustle going.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Thinking about starting my own line of swimwear.
Oh, yes, honey.
- You can pull with this.
- [KRYSTAL LAUGHS.]
Yeah, well, this alligator widow could use some.
[LAUGHS.]
So, what you gonna do with all that sweet cash, honey? You gonna, uh, buy all your stuff back? Hell no.
I needed a car and a place to sit.
The rest of it goes to making damn sure - we got a roof over our head.
- Mm-hmm.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GROUP CHANTING.]
Thighs.
Love your buns with Splashercize.
Hips and thighs, hips and thighs.
Love your buns with Splashercize.
And move that product.
[GROUP.]
Move that product.
Move that product.
And money in your pocket.
[ALL.]
Money in your pocket.
Money in your pocket.
Money in your pocket.
All right, y'all.
I'd like to welcome our new Splashers.
[ALL CHEER.]
Yeah! And thank Barry for bringing them.
Now, Barry's brought the most recruits three weeks in a row, so he gets to pick the next chant.
- Come on.
- Come on.
- [WOMAN.]
Say it.
- [CHANTING.]
Barry.
[GROUP CHANTING.]
Barry.
Barry.
Barry.
Barry.
Who's gonna give Barry a run for his money? - [ALL CHEERING.]
- Okay! [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[THE WALKER BROTHERS' "THE ELECTRICIAN" PLAYING.]
Baby, it's slow When lights go low There's no help, no He's drilling through The spiritus sanctus tonight Through the dark hip falls Screaming, oh, you mambos Kill me and kill me And kill me - [WHOOPS.]
- [GROUP CHEERING.]
Hey, what? Is there a bee or something? [MUSIC STOPS.]
Hey.
What's your damage? We're in the middle of a class.
Knock it off, pal.
We're splashing here.
This class is an apostasy.
Mr.
Garbeau wants this class shut down.
- [MAN.]
It's Roger Penland.
- Hey, y-y'all, just stay put.
Y'all just stay put.
Come on.
What the hell, man? This Splashercize is a perversion of the Garbeau System.
[KRYSTAL.]
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
Hey.
You guys, I can fix this.
I-I can fix this, y'all.
Y'all.
Y'all, y'all, just stay in the pool.
- Who's that? - He works for Obie.
- He works for Obie? - I think it's Roger Penland.
Hey, what the hell? You could've phoned.
The telephone can be imprecise.
Well, now you came, you saw.
Splashercize motivates my downline.
They love it.
It's a recruiting tool.
You can tell him I'm improving the Garbeau System.
You aren't charged with improvement.
You're charged with duplication.
In the absence of order there's chaos.
[BELLS PLAYING SOLEMN TUNE.]
I mean, I'm sure none of you want to be your own boss, so [CHUCKLES.]
I mean, Hank, you love it at Winn-Dixie, right? And, Jim, working the night shift sounds kind of fun.
- Well, there's always parking.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yes.
So I'm not even gonna tempt you with some big song and dance about running your own business with FAM.
- [CHOIR VOCALIZING.]
- [PEOPLE MURMURING.]
I think the tenors are putting together bell charts for "Kokomo.
" What? Before you step in any more dog doo, Ernie, I think I should tell you.
We've been through this before.
Hank tried FAM, and it never really paid off for him.
It-it takes hard work.
You know? I just want everybody to have the opportunity.
But everybody can't be their own boss, Ernie.
No.
Not everyone has the teeth to close, Jim.
[CHOIR.]
La, la, la, la, la Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi [BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[QUIET, TENSE MUSIC.]
[KNOCKING.]
Yes.
- Hi.
- I need to speak to Obie Garbeau ASA-fucking-P.
Obie Garbeau II.
Now, Cody.
Call him.
[LAUGHS.]
Call him? No can do.
He pays to get a new number every 23 days.
I mean, he's harder to reach than the president.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Well, then I'll go to his house.
[LAUGHS.]
Are you high on life? It's on an island.
Nobody knows where it is.
And even if you did, he has a highly trained security detail, Krystal.
Highly trained.
Talk to me.
I'm your upline.
I'm here to guide you.
[SCOFFS.]
Hardy-har.
I need to speak to Obie.
Well, only Washingtons can talk directly to Obie Garbeau II.
Are you a Washington, Krystal? You know damn well I'm not a Washington.
That's right.
Because if you were a Washington, you would be invited to his retreat next week at Paradise Cay.
Fine.
How do I become a Washington? Well, you can't.
For now.
But I can.
And I can go and talk to him on your behalf.
That's what uplines are for.
Hmm? Help me help you, because helping you helps me.
Now, to get that kind of FP, we're talking about a level of recruiting you've never attempted before, Krystal.
How many? Well, it's very complicated.
There's, uh, bonus FP multipliers every 15 IBOs How many? Fifty.
In a week? I'll sign 50 IBOs.
[CHUCKLES.]
Great.
Splashercize was my thing.
Obie should thank me, not shut me down.
Wait.
I'm sorry.
Someone shut down your class? Yeah.
Some guy Obie sent.
Some guy? [CHUCKLES.]
What'd he look like? I don't know.
Barefoot.
In a suit.
Holy freakolis.
Obie sent Roger Penland.
Krystal, he's the head of security.
He was a Green Beret.
[EXHALES.]
I'm so fricked.
If Penland showed up, it means that it means that Obie Garbeau heard my tape.
And he heard you.
He heard you at that rally when you pitched Splashercize, and that's not Garbeau System! Everyone knows that you have to follow the Garbeau System 100%! And now Penland's on the warpath! I never should've let you speak at that rally! - Oh, my God! - Cody! What? Don't be so negative.
[BIRDS SINGING.]
- Hi.
- Krystal.
Get in here, girl.
Is Neenee ready to go? Now, Destinee's fine.
She just started to get a little congested.
What? Where is she? Uh, Bets has got her on some steam.
They'll be out in a shake.
All right.
So I-I tried what we talked about.
Oh, yeah? How many did you sign? Not a one.
I pitched my entire congregation and half of Bets' PTA registry.
- Oh, it's all right, hon.
- No.
I need to close 50 IBOs this week.
I don't see how you can.
I mean, even if I was a closer, there's nobody left to close.
Everybody around here's already heard the pitch.
I mean, it's a pickle.
No, Ernie, you're the pickle.
You all right, Krystal? Something going on? You wanted to get into FAM to give your family the nice things they deserve.
Well, I don't see any peacocks or keytars around here.
Do you? Here's the little charmer.
[DESTINEE BABBLING.]
She seems to be coming down with a little bit of a cold.
Oh.
- So - Thanks, Bets.
Yeah.
No problem.
Okay.
I'm taking this.
- Everything all right? - [DOOR OPENS.]
Yeah.
Sure thing, Buttercup.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[KRYSTAL.]
Well, maybe if I brought some FAM products to show you Well, if you change your mind Really? [SIGHS.]
Really? No, bless your heart.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
[CHEERILY.]
Mommy wants to do violence.
You're burning up.
[EXHALES.]
Here.
[ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CODY.]
Dear Obie Garbeau II [ERNIE.]
Dear Heavenly Father, please help me grow in the fruit of the Spirit and walk closer with you.
You've been so good to me.
I see you in the flowers and the sunsets.
I see you in my sweet, sweet family.
[CODY.]
The Garbeau System is above all others.
You are the rock when we need a Gibraltar.
Or a Plymouth.
If I have done wrong, I need you to understand, I am just one man, one man with many downlines.
God, I have a heavy heart.
I can feel you talking to me, but I can't hear the words.
I-I know Krystal's in my life for a reason.
I-I just want your will to be done.
I-If I'm not being the man you want me to be, that's my fault.
[CODY.]
I repeat, Krystal Stubbs' actions are not my fault.
There's only so much one man can do.
I live by your word, and I'll die by your word.
Thank you for listening.
[ERNIE.]
I want to hear you, O Lord.
Help me be the man you'd have me be.
In thy most holy name, amen.
[MALE VOICE.]
Ernie, do you speak Spanish? Oh! [CLEARS THROAT.]
Pastor Steve.
[LAUGHS.]
Hey.
How you doing, Ernie? - I'm all right.
- Hey, listen, um, I was hoping you could come and help me with our sister church, Iglesia de Lourdes.
There's a big language barrier.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ain't that something? Here I am, praying on what I can do to help other people, and here you come with the answer.
I know.
I-I was I was here the whole time.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[COUGHING.]
[HAWKS.]
- Dang.
- [DESTINEE FUSSING.]
I'm gonna be late for work.
Your boss a yeller? When he's not a groper.
You know, I'm making money while I sit here right now.
No, I'm not buying anything.
Oh, I'm not selling.
I'm just offering an opportunity someone offered me.
FAM.
Mm-hmm.
Becoming part of FAM means no one's taking advantage of you anymore.
You call the shots.
If it's so great, what the hell are you doing here? [DESTINEE FUSSING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I know what you're up to.
What you're doing is dangerous.
What? Destinee Stubbs? We should talk.
[MUTTERING.]
"Consult your upline.
" [CODY.]
So maybe you can you You could give it to [EXHALES.]
Okay.
I've read it, and I have made - a decision.
- [CHUCKLES.]
No.
I will not give this to Mr.
Garbeau.
Okay, but you're-you're a Washington, right? You're you'll be at Paradise Cay.
I just I just need him to know that this Splashercize thing is not my fault.
[SCOFFS.]
When our son Carl was six, he peed in his rain boot - every night for a week.
- Mm.
And when we confronted him, he denied it was his pee.
Is Krystal the pee? Oh, for crying out loud, son.
A problem with your downline - is a problem with you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- And from my view, I see your downline thinning.
[SIGHS.]
You got less worker bees, you got what? More work, no honey.
- That's right, Snook.
- Just urine in a boot.
Darn right, Snook! Krystal Stubbs is a wild horse - that needs to be broken.
- Mm-hmm.
Knowing her role will give her comfort.
- Right, babe? - Oh, right.
He's the mister.
I'm the assister.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Oh Hey.
I got a little something that might help set you straight.
Come here.
Ah [CAROL GASPS.]
- Ah.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Uh - Ah.
Select Wisdom Collection.
Bootlegs.
Vintage Obie? Uh-huh.
[GASPS.]
[DESTINEE BABBLING.]
[KRYSTAL.]
It's your medicine.
Your baby okay? Was it parvovirus? I-I was a doctor.
It's common in kids and birds, and-and it's going around.
Better make sure you get rest.
Parvo's worse in adults.
Got it.
Thank you.
I made it to the top of FAM.
Was a Columbus.
If you care about that baby, you'll get out now.
FAM is dangerous.
I don't even know where my wife is.
They firebombed my boat.
That Obie Garbeau's a killer.
I got to go.
I'm going to the shelter by the Hardee's.
Can you give me a ride? [DESTINEE BABBLING.]
Here.
Take the bus.
[OBIE.]
The first man to climb Everest was nothing special.
He was just a regular guy named Ed.
He saw a big mountain, and he wanted to climb it.
People gave him all kinds of guff, saying, "Don't do it, you'll die!" "You're crazy!" Ed knew what all FAM men know: a dream isn't impossible, it's just a dream.
Let it guide you.
Let it inspire you.
Let it carry you up your mountain until you get to a place where the air is easier to breathe, where there's room to walk around and stretch your legs.
Don't you want to live a life without hardship? Don't you want your children to grow up happy and free? With FAM, their future is in your hands.
Hello, FAM men.
Today is your day.
Today you take the world by the tail and just swing! The future is in your strong grasp.
It is yours and yours alone to take, because you have decided it is so! [KRYSTAL.]
Coming.
- [KNOCKING.]
- I'm coming.
Hi Why do you look like that? I've been up all night.
Why are you here? I am here to talk downline.
Do you need more makeup or something? - What's wrong? - There is no more downline.
We pitched friends and neighbors and churches and school districts.
- Everyone's already heard it.
- No guff.
Why do you think Travis was on the road every night? Travis knew he had to break new ground.
The man wasn't a Doubty Pouty.
He was a Smarty Marty.
[SCOFFS.]
Right.
No, for real.
He had a plan to recruit entire neighborhoods before the neighborhoods even existed.
Then why didn't he? He had appointments all set, but then Yeah, uh Hold on.
This Travis' stuff? I'll follow up on his leads.
Using the Garbeau System.
Yeah.
Sure.
Really? I need 50 IBOs to convince Obie to let me have Splashercize.
I'll do whatever it takes.
[CHUCKLING.]
Cody! If you're gonna rub my shoulders, then rub my damn shoulders.
- [DESTINEE CRYING.]
- [SIGHS.]
I need to get dressed.
You're gonna babysit.
Oh, she-she's a baby.
I don't know how to take care of a baby.
Pack a lunch.
School's in session.
It's a blessing for me to welcome [TRANSLATING IN SPANISH.]
your congregation into ours.
[ERNIE TRANSLATES.]
So, let's take a moment to shine a light on those around us.
Um, if anyone needs prayers [TRANSLATING.]
[TRANSLATING.]
Por favor.
[WHISPERING.]
Would you just go talk to them? Yeah.
Her name's Fia.
Her-her mother didn't make it from Cuba.
I see.
Let's pray.
Lord, we ask that you bless and protect Fia and her family, and let us, this congregation, take them in as our community, our family.
Amen.
[SPEAKING SPANISH.]
This is Rico.
The factory where he worked shut down, and now-now he can't pay his mortgage.
This is Mateo.
He's She needs [ALL CLAMORING.]
Tell them we-we're gonna get to everyone.
Tell 'em we'll talk to everyone.
[CAR RADIO PLAYING.]
And he's the one who worries - She - [DIFFERENT SONG PLAYING ON RADIO.]
- Lately it's been - [SNEEZES.]
A losing game - [COUGHING.]
- [STATIC ON RADIO.]
[OFFBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SIGHS.]
[BIRD SQUAWKING.]
- [DOOR CREAKING.]
- Hello? [BANG.]
Hey! - Is your mom or dad home? - [BANG.]
We had an appointment.
Hey! Be careful.
[BANG.]
What did I tell you about answering the door? Get! Go bug that man who says he's your father.
Uh Parenting, right? I'm with FAM.
I heard you're interested in starting your own business.
Hey.
Could I maybe just get a glass of water? [SPRAYING.]
Excuse me.
Anyone here make an appointment with Travis Stubbs? With FAM? Uh, household goods.
Cleaning products.
Poison.
Look up.
What do you see? Clouds.
That's what you think.
[BIRDS SQUAWKING.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
Hi, I'm Krystal.
I think you talked to my husband Travis about FAM.
- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
- Hi there.
Can I talk to you about FAM merchandise? How would you like to be your own boss? - [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
- your friends and family [VOICE ECHOING.]
It's easy.
How would you like to It's an amazing opportunity.
You won't return it.
- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
- products.
- They sell themselves.
- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
No, it's not a scam.
It's a proven way to make money.
- Don't you want to be rich? - [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
Don't you want to be rich? Don't you want to be rich? [DOOR SLAMS SHUT.]
[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING.]
[VALVE SQUEAKING.]
[DISTORTED VOICE.]
Are you FAM? Your case that's a FAM starter kit, right? Yeah.
Rad.
I been waiting for you, Travis.
Come on inside.
So, we've got everything you need for your house cleaning, food shopping, bathroom I think we've covered all the bases.
Okay, and you can reorder any time you want.
So can your downline.
Oh, I am not doing the downline thing.
I am just into FAM for the one-stop shopping.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
You don't look so good, Travis.
I'm Krystal.
Travis was my husband.
He died.
Was he listening to anything? What we're listening to when we die It's, like super important.
That's my thing.
I should go.
[LAUGHS.]
I make music to help people die better.
These are all of my patrons.
Hmm.
Travis was probably listening to a FAM tape.
That's so sad.
We're all gonna die.
[ECHOING.]
The thing is, energy doesn't, it just transforms itself and joins the universe.
If people die happy and relaxed, the universe will be better.
The future will be better.
[WHISPERING.]
Krystal.
[REGULAR VOLUME.]
Krystal.
Am I dying? You're improving the future.
[INSECTS TRILLING.]
[QUIET, EERIE MUSIC.]
[ENGINE KNOCKING.]
[BIRD SQUAWKING.]
- [ANIMALS CHITTERING.]
- [BIRDS HOOTING.]
[DESTINEE CRYING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Roger Pendleton? Get in.
Are you following me? Look I just want to go home.
You've been abiding by the system? Why else would I be out here? But you spoke to Judd Waltrip.
Who? I-I want to talk to Obie.
I know he'll want to hear what I have to say.
How would you know what Obie Garbeau wants, hmm? 'Cause I'm good at that.
[CHUCKLES.]
What do I want? Nothing.
And what do you want? Destinee.
[PEACEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hmm.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
- [DOOR CREAKS.]
- [KEY JANGLE.]
[KRYSTAL.]
Cody? [DOOR CLOSES.]
Cody? Neenee? Cody?! [SIGHS.]
Oh.
Destinee's here, she's fine.
She's in Harold's room, sleeping like a log.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, no worries.
[MUSIC BOX PLAYING SOFTLY.]
- You see this? - Yeah.
He tapped a whole new market.
- Ernie did all of this? - Oh, yeah.
He didn't just close, he super-closed.
57 new IBOs.
Yeah.
I'm going Washington, Krystal.
And I'm going to Paradise Cay.
Oh, and I'll get my time with Obie.
And you know what, don't worry, because I will tell him all about Splashercize.
It was all you, not me.
Next time you're trying to do things your way, Krystal, I'll tell you, it's gonna be dif [ALL.]
Sí.
[LAUGHS.]
Let's be clear.
Ernie is my downline.
Yeah, and he did great.
I signed him, I trained him, I'm calling the shots.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Now, wait a minute, Krystal.
I know you like to be a wild filly, but there's a hierarch We're gonna merge our businesses, Cody, yours and mine.
That means you didn't go Washington, we went Washington.
You know it doesn't work that way.
The Garbeau System is You'd be nothing without me.
Fuck the Garbeau System.
Don't talk like that about the Garbeau S [PANTING, MOANS SOFTLY.]
Okay.
You call the shots.
We're gonna go to Paradise Cay and we're gonna get a one-on-one with Obie, and we're gonna get what we want.
[GASPING.]
Say thank you.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
[MARTIAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[FIREWORKS POPPING.]
[EXHALES.]