Dating Rules From My Future Self (2012) s01e08 Episode Script
Chapter Eight: Time 2 Intervene
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ WHISTLING MUSICALLY .]
Kelcey: AND THERE SHE IS.
Amanda: LUCY, GUESS WHAT.
I BOOKED THE INFOMERCIAL GIG -- PAJEGA JEANS.
Lucy: CONGRATS.
CONGRATS.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS .]
Kelcey: IS IT PAJEGA JEANS? Amanda: THEY'RE JEAN LEGGINGS WITH PAJAMA FEET.
Kelcey: OH, YOU MEAN LIKE SMURF PANTS, 'CAUSE I WOULD LIVE IN THOSE.
EVERYTHING OKAY, LUCE? Lucy: OH, UH, YEAH.
YEAH.
All: CHEERS.
[ PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY'S "READY TO ROLL" PLAYS .]
-Lucy: PAJEGA-JEGA JEANS.
-Kelcey: PAJEGA JEANS.
Amanda: PAJEGA JEANS.
Man: YO I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM ABOUT TO GET MY GAME ON HEY [ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS .]
Amanda: [ LAUGHS .]
CAN'T YOU ZOOM IN? 'CAUSE I LOOK GOOD.
Kelcey: I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
Amanda: OOH.
I FEEL LIKE THAT GUY KISSED ME.
Lucy: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY PHONE? AND DO YOU HAVE IDEA WHY I WOKE UP IN THE TUB? Kelcey: YEAH, WE'RE JUST PIECING IT TOGETHER OURSELVES, THANKS TO YOUR WALL.
I DRUNK-FACEBOOKED? OKAY.
GUYS, WHY -- WHY WOULD YOU LET ME DO THAT? Kelcey: WHY WOULD YOU LET US DO THAT? -Amanda: NICE HORSEY, KELC.
-Kelcey: SHUT UP.
BLACKOUTS EXIST FOR A REASON.
Lucy: MM.
[ GASPS .]
Amanda: WHO'S NOELLE? Lucy: OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS, DELETE.
DELETE.
Kelcey: I REMEMBER YOU SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HER BEING, LIKE, A SHE-DEVIL THIEF? -Amanda: MM-HMM.
-Lucy: YEAH, SHE STOLE -- BUT SOMETHING REALLY TERRIBLE HAD HAPPENED AT WORK, AND WHAT IS THAT? -Kelcey: THAT IS AWESOME.
-Lucy: OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT IF DAVE SAW THAT? Amanda: UM, HE'D BE FLATTERED, CONSIDERING THE SIZE OF HIS SPATULA.
-Kelcey: SPATULA.
-Lucy: NO.
[ GASPS .]
I HAVE TO FIND MY PHONE.
Amanda: WHY? ARE YOU GONNA CALL DAVE? Lucy: NO! I'M GONNA TEXT HIM TO FIND OUT WHAT "WE NEED TO TALK" MEANS.
Kelcey: IT MEANS YOU NEED TO TALK, NOT TEXT.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING TO GO WITHOUT YOUR PHONE FOR A DAY.
Lucy: YOU DON'T GET IT.
IF I'VE LOST MY PHONE, I HAVE LOST MYSELF.
-Amanda: YOU WANT ME TO CALL IT? -Lucy: YES! PLEASE.
-Amanda: YOU FOUND IT? -Lucy: WHAT? Kelcey: NO.
SORRY.
NEVER MIND.
IT'S MINE.
-I'VE HAD IT SINCE LAST NIGHT.
-Amanda: YOU STOLE IT? Kelcey: SHE NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.
THE GIRL'S A TEXT-AHOLIC.
I'LL GIVE IT BACK WHEN SHE'S READY.
JUST TRUST ME.
I'M ALMOST A PSYCHOLOGIST.
Lucy: DID YOU CALL IT? Amanda: IT WENT STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL.
Lucy: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.
Kelcey: YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I REMEMBER YOU HAVING IT WAS AT DAVE'S.
MAYBE THIS IS JUST THE UNIVERSE'S WAY OF TELLING YOU YOU NEED TO CONFRONT YOUR FEARS.
[ DOOR CLOSES .]
HMM.
-Amanda: NICE TRY.
-Kelcey: WAIT FOR IT.
Amanda: [ SCOFFS .]
Kelcey: THREE OF PSYCH CLASSES AND STUDENT LOANS PAYING OFF.
[ SIGHS .]
IT IS BRIGHT OUT.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS .]
Lucy: HEY.
YOU SEEN A PHONE? Man: NO.
NO.
SORRY.
Dave: LUCY? Lucy: HEY! DAVE.
HI.
Dave: PAPARAZZI ON YOUR TAIL? Lucy: [ LAUGHS .]
NO, I'M JUST HERE HANGING WITH MY FRIENDS, MY PEEPS.
-Dave: YOUR PEEPS? -Lucy: MM-HMM.
Dave: AHA.
YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE ME? Lucy: SURE.
UH, THIS IS GREG, AND THAT IS BOBBY.
CINDY IS RIGHT OVER THERE.
Man: I THINK OUR TABLE'S READY.
Lucy: OKAY.
Dave: LUCE.
Lucy: LOOK, DAVE.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY PHONE, OKAY? I AM JUST COMPLETELY MORTIFIED ABOUT LAST NIGHT, ABOUT THE PAPER NAPKIN, AND [ SIGHS .]
THE DRAWING OF YOURSPATULA.
Dave: HEY, IT'S O-- IT'S OKAY.
I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU, ABOUT THE WHOLE BRENDAN-AND-NOELLE THING.
YOU TEXTED ME LAST NIGHT ABOUT IT.
Lucy: WHAT? I DRUNK-TEXTED YOU THAT? -Dave: YEAH.
-Lucy: GOD, I AM SO SORRY.
I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT TO YOU.
Dave: WELL, YOU JUST NEEDED TO VENT.
JUST BECAUSE I'M BRENDAN'S ROOMMATE DOESN'T MEAN YOU AND I STILL CAN'T BE FRIENDS, RIGHT? Lucy: YEAH.
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM AND -- AND NOELLE, LIKE, WHEN IT STARTED? Dave: NO.
BUT WOULD IT REALLY HAVE MATTERED, WHETHER HE WAS CHEATING OR WHETHER HE MOVED ON SO QUICKLY? I MEAN, MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING YOU FOUND OUT.
I FELT OBLIGATED TO HIM, AND I WAS WORRIED WHAT HE MIGHT THINK, BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE TO.
WORRY.
Lucy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Dave: DO YOU WANT TO, MAYBE, UH DINNER OR LUNCH? Lucy: ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT? Dave: I Lucy: 'CAUSE YOU JUST LEFT OUT A WHOLE BUNCH OF WORDS.
Dave: IT'S BEEN A WHILE, ALL RIGHT? Lucy: PLEASE.
YOU HAVE, LIKE, A NEW GIRLFRIEND EVERY MONTH.
Dave: NO, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD SOMEONE THAT I REALLY LIKED.
Lucy: JUST STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF ANY FURTHER Dave: [ LAUGHS .]
Lucy: WHEREAS I EMBARRASS MYSELF ALL THE TIME, SO, UM WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT TO LUNCH WITH ME OR DINNER OR ANYTHING SOMETIME? THAT WAS SUPER-HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
-Dave: SEE? -Lucy: YEAH.
Dave: AND THE ANSWER IS YES.
I'D LOVE TO.
AND IF I COULD HAVE THE DRAWING OF MY SPATULA.
Lucy: CONSIDER IT YOURS.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS, WHISTLING MUSICALLY .]
[ WHISTLING MUSICALLY .]
Kelcey: AND THERE SHE IS.
Amanda: LUCY, GUESS WHAT.
I BOOKED THE INFOMERCIAL GIG -- PAJEGA JEANS.
Lucy: CONGRATS.
CONGRATS.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS .]
Kelcey: IS IT PAJEGA JEANS? Amanda: THEY'RE JEAN LEGGINGS WITH PAJAMA FEET.
Kelcey: OH, YOU MEAN LIKE SMURF PANTS, 'CAUSE I WOULD LIVE IN THOSE.
EVERYTHING OKAY, LUCE? Lucy: OH, UH, YEAH.
YEAH.
All: CHEERS.
[ PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY'S "READY TO ROLL" PLAYS .]
-Lucy: PAJEGA-JEGA JEANS.
-Kelcey: PAJEGA JEANS.
Amanda: PAJEGA JEANS.
Man: YO I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM ABOUT TO GET MY GAME ON HEY [ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS .]
Amanda: [ LAUGHS .]
CAN'T YOU ZOOM IN? 'CAUSE I LOOK GOOD.
Kelcey: I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
Amanda: OOH.
I FEEL LIKE THAT GUY KISSED ME.
Lucy: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY PHONE? AND DO YOU HAVE IDEA WHY I WOKE UP IN THE TUB? Kelcey: YEAH, WE'RE JUST PIECING IT TOGETHER OURSELVES, THANKS TO YOUR WALL.
I DRUNK-FACEBOOKED? OKAY.
GUYS, WHY -- WHY WOULD YOU LET ME DO THAT? Kelcey: WHY WOULD YOU LET US DO THAT? -Amanda: NICE HORSEY, KELC.
-Kelcey: SHUT UP.
BLACKOUTS EXIST FOR A REASON.
Lucy: MM.
[ GASPS .]
Amanda: WHO'S NOELLE? Lucy: OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS, DELETE.
DELETE.
Kelcey: I REMEMBER YOU SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HER BEING, LIKE, A SHE-DEVIL THIEF? -Amanda: MM-HMM.
-Lucy: YEAH, SHE STOLE -- BUT SOMETHING REALLY TERRIBLE HAD HAPPENED AT WORK, AND WHAT IS THAT? -Kelcey: THAT IS AWESOME.
-Lucy: OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT IF DAVE SAW THAT? Amanda: UM, HE'D BE FLATTERED, CONSIDERING THE SIZE OF HIS SPATULA.
-Kelcey: SPATULA.
-Lucy: NO.
[ GASPS .]
I HAVE TO FIND MY PHONE.
Amanda: WHY? ARE YOU GONNA CALL DAVE? Lucy: NO! I'M GONNA TEXT HIM TO FIND OUT WHAT "WE NEED TO TALK" MEANS.
Kelcey: IT MEANS YOU NEED TO TALK, NOT TEXT.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING TO GO WITHOUT YOUR PHONE FOR A DAY.
Lucy: YOU DON'T GET IT.
IF I'VE LOST MY PHONE, I HAVE LOST MYSELF.
-Amanda: YOU WANT ME TO CALL IT? -Lucy: YES! PLEASE.
-Amanda: YOU FOUND IT? -Lucy: WHAT? Kelcey: NO.
SORRY.
NEVER MIND.
IT'S MINE.
-I'VE HAD IT SINCE LAST NIGHT.
-Amanda: YOU STOLE IT? Kelcey: SHE NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.
THE GIRL'S A TEXT-AHOLIC.
I'LL GIVE IT BACK WHEN SHE'S READY.
JUST TRUST ME.
I'M ALMOST A PSYCHOLOGIST.
Lucy: DID YOU CALL IT? Amanda: IT WENT STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL.
Lucy: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.
Kelcey: YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I REMEMBER YOU HAVING IT WAS AT DAVE'S.
MAYBE THIS IS JUST THE UNIVERSE'S WAY OF TELLING YOU YOU NEED TO CONFRONT YOUR FEARS.
[ DOOR CLOSES .]
HMM.
-Amanda: NICE TRY.
-Kelcey: WAIT FOR IT.
Amanda: [ SCOFFS .]
Kelcey: THREE OF PSYCH CLASSES AND STUDENT LOANS PAYING OFF.
[ SIGHS .]
IT IS BRIGHT OUT.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS .]
Lucy: HEY.
YOU SEEN A PHONE? Man: NO.
NO.
SORRY.
Dave: LUCY? Lucy: HEY! DAVE.
HI.
Dave: PAPARAZZI ON YOUR TAIL? Lucy: [ LAUGHS .]
NO, I'M JUST HERE HANGING WITH MY FRIENDS, MY PEEPS.
-Dave: YOUR PEEPS? -Lucy: MM-HMM.
Dave: AHA.
YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE ME? Lucy: SURE.
UH, THIS IS GREG, AND THAT IS BOBBY.
CINDY IS RIGHT OVER THERE.
Man: I THINK OUR TABLE'S READY.
Lucy: OKAY.
Dave: LUCE.
Lucy: LOOK, DAVE.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY PHONE, OKAY? I AM JUST COMPLETELY MORTIFIED ABOUT LAST NIGHT, ABOUT THE PAPER NAPKIN, AND [ SIGHS .]
THE DRAWING OF YOURSPATULA.
Dave: HEY, IT'S O-- IT'S OKAY.
I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU, ABOUT THE WHOLE BRENDAN-AND-NOELLE THING.
YOU TEXTED ME LAST NIGHT ABOUT IT.
Lucy: WHAT? I DRUNK-TEXTED YOU THAT? -Dave: YEAH.
-Lucy: GOD, I AM SO SORRY.
I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT TO YOU.
Dave: WELL, YOU JUST NEEDED TO VENT.
JUST BECAUSE I'M BRENDAN'S ROOMMATE DOESN'T MEAN YOU AND I STILL CAN'T BE FRIENDS, RIGHT? Lucy: YEAH.
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM AND -- AND NOELLE, LIKE, WHEN IT STARTED? Dave: NO.
BUT WOULD IT REALLY HAVE MATTERED, WHETHER HE WAS CHEATING OR WHETHER HE MOVED ON SO QUICKLY? I MEAN, MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING YOU FOUND OUT.
I FELT OBLIGATED TO HIM, AND I WAS WORRIED WHAT HE MIGHT THINK, BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE TO.
WORRY.
Lucy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Dave: DO YOU WANT TO, MAYBE, UH DINNER OR LUNCH? Lucy: ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT? Dave: I Lucy: 'CAUSE YOU JUST LEFT OUT A WHOLE BUNCH OF WORDS.
Dave: IT'S BEEN A WHILE, ALL RIGHT? Lucy: PLEASE.
YOU HAVE, LIKE, A NEW GIRLFRIEND EVERY MONTH.
Dave: NO, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD SOMEONE THAT I REALLY LIKED.
Lucy: JUST STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF ANY FURTHER Dave: [ LAUGHS .]
Lucy: WHEREAS I EMBARRASS MYSELF ALL THE TIME, SO, UM WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT TO LUNCH WITH ME OR DINNER OR ANYTHING SOMETIME? THAT WAS SUPER-HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
-Dave: SEE? -Lucy: YEAH.
Dave: AND THE ANSWER IS YES.
I'D LOVE TO.
AND IF I COULD HAVE THE DRAWING OF MY SPATULA.
Lucy: CONSIDER IT YOURS.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS, WHISTLING MUSICALLY .]