Hellcats s01e08 Episode Script
Back of a Car
Bar up north, And work in a d.
A.
's office where everybody talks In flat yankee vowels.
You're applying for a scholarship? I have one now for cheerleading.
Cheerleading? Oh.
Hello, marti.
Welcome to cheertown.
Do you have a thing for dan? What? Because if you do, I'll back off.
No.
I don't wanna create drama within the squad.
Dan and I are just buds.
I'm on a date with half the squad.
Look, the girl was home-schooled, ok? Her parents raised her like veal.
The group thing is how her church used to handle dating.
Growing up, I always figured I'd wait Until I was married to have sex.
Marriage, sex-- Let's just take one step at a time, Not worry so much.
I need 2 prelaw students to help me.
You're in.
My law clinic starts Monday.
A man been sentenced to life in prison for a minor burglary.
You've made it clear you don't care if travis is innocent.
You found something that proves his innocence? I'm searching everywhere for this jane loomis.
Ta-da.
We'd like to talk to you About your ex-boyfriend, travis guthrie.
Our law clinic is looking into his robbery conviction.
I really have nothing more to add.
Thank you.
# 1, 2, 3, 4 # Vanessa: 5, 6, 7, 8.
All right.
Ok.
The go-go's: # see the people walkin' down the street # # fall in line, just watchin' all their feet # # they don't know where they wanna go # # but they're walkin' in time # # they got the beat # # we got the beat, we got the beat # Vanessa: Ok, everybody, let's do it again.
Hey.
I'm here.
Oh, good.
You can help me with these.
And 2 They're working up a go-go's routine? Really? We're setting up for the spirit party.
Oh, yeah, that.
I didn't realize it was coming up so soon.
Haven't you been reading the daily cheertown bulletin? I'm proud to say I didn't know we had one.
Still, why go-go's? It's the 25th anniversary of the founding of the hellcats in 1985, So this year has got an eighties theme.
I like that there's a sense of history in the bobblehead community.
Iteally hard to make that nickname sound complimentary.
Oh, I kid the bobblehead.
I'm sure you think you're being playful.
No, I just like the word.
"bobblehead.
" # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # Alice, why are you all dressed up? Oh, something came up.
I can't stay.
But you promised to help.
"fotogem" is doing a style piece On the private lives of lancer football stars.
Wow.
Who said journalism is dead? It's a p.
R.
Offensive from the athletic department.
They're just trying to make people forget about that pay-for-play scandal.
I couldn't care less.
All I know is I am getting my picture in a glossy magazine.
Never thought I'd see you as a football wife.
Heh.
I am not anyone's wife.
But it's a great magazine.
I'm lookin' hot.
Jake is gonna look dashing, and after the photo shoot, We'll go have nasty, acrobatic sex In positions that you can't even draw.
Oh, pretty much anyone can draw a stick figure, so God Who let him in here? I did.
I'm just pitchin' in, aidin' the cause, Helpin' the angels of spirit Make the world a cheerier place.
God.
Savannah, does he talk that much during sex? I wouldn't know.
Right.
Of course you wouldn't.
Don't wait up, kids.
What does that mean, "of course I wouldn't"? Heh heh.
I don't like how she's gettin' Ever since she hooked up with jake.
Anybody ever tell you you think about jake too much? Mmm.
Ooh.
Uh, jake who? That's great, guys.
Smile.
Big smiles.
Great.
Thank you.
We'll do singles over there.
Jake.
Ah.
So tell me a little about the social life as lancers qb 1.
Well, it's rigorous, you know.
Work hard.
Play hard.
Nap every 2 weeks whether I need it or not.
Oh, I have a parlor trick for you.
I can name your perfume.
No way.
Mm-hmm.
Lolita lempicka.
That's amazing.
How did you do that? Do what? How did I charm you in 10 seconds? Oh, listen, you need to meet my girlfriend.
Alice.
Come up here.
Alice, darling, meet kelsey.
A pleasure.
I love your magazine.
Alice is a cheerleader.
Of course she is.
Quarterbacks and pompom girls, It's like peanut butter and jelly, right? We're not pompom girls.
Oh? Yes.
We cheer at games, But that's just to pay the rent.
We're competitive athletes.
Yeah, the hellcats rock the sidelines every Saturday afternoon.
Our fans just love 'em.
You said the team competes? Yes.
We're ranked seventh overall In the southern coed division, And we've qualified to move on To sectional competitions next month.
Impressive.
Oh, you would think so, right? But apparently it doesn't matter To lancer's crack athletic department bureaucrats.
They reallocated our funds to the volleyball team.
We love our volleyball gals.
Any one of 'em could kick my butt.
Know what I'm saying? But somehow lancer found $3 million For red raymond's salary this year.
Can I steal the lovely ms.
Verdura? Just for a second, jake.
We'll be back in Be right back.
You're hurting my arm.
What in god's name do you think you're doing? You don't talk to me like that.
This is an article about the football team, The lions, not a platform for your cheerleading agenda.
My agenda? You're gonna go back in there, You're gonna smile, and you're gonna shut your mouth.
You got it? No.
I don't think I got anything.
I don't care who your daddy is.
If you don't tell me what I wanna hear right now, I will rain holy hell upon you, you smart-mouthed little idiot.
Now tell me.
Tell me.
Yes, sir.
Thanks, angel.
You know, I hope this man here has told you how pretty you look today.
Thanks for all the support.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
Can I crash with you? Darwin needs the room.
He hooked up again? Yeah.
He met some guy at empire.
Heh heh.
It's always the quiet ones.
What is in his dna, and where can I get some? Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course you can stay.
Let me just clear it with savannah first.
Hey, I swear, no funny stuff.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Don't make rash promises.
Mmm.
Ooh.
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Yo, m.
Oh, hey, marti, is it cool If dan crashes on the floor tonight? Heh.
Ha.
Funny story.
Y'all want help fixing up a spot on the floor for lewis? Wh-where? In the closet? Oh.
Oh, you two are-- Don't look so scandalized.
I-it's just that we're all in the same room.
We're not planning on having sex with you guys in the room.
Oh.
Thank the lord for small favors.
If there's a problem, I can just take the sofa outside.
No problem.
It's all good.
Dan: At least you achieved mattress.
I'm sorry.
What? I said at least he achieved mattress.
I know what you said.
It was a crack.
No crack.
Statement of fact.
He is in the bed.
Because he's got a cool girlfriend and yours is a prude? I did not say that.
I would have remembered If he called me cool.
Relax.
Yeah.
We're all just slumber party pals.
Sorry.
Ok, now everyone's on eggshells.
I-I'm feeling pressured.
You guys want me to invite dan in my bed, right, Ease the tension? Nope.
Not really.
Do not have a dog in that race.
I-I'm a good girl, and I resent Being forced to apologize for it.
Look, nobody is asking you to apologize.
Look, why don't I just go home? To your room that you share With your older brother and his fiancée? That's terrible and awkward.
You say so all the time.
And yet, at this moment, It seems strangely appealing.
You get the bed.
I'll take the sofa.
No.
I'm not letting you-- No.
You're a guest.
You get the bed.
That's how it works.
Wow.
Somebody's got issues.
Aw, so much for my orgy fantasy.
Is it me, or is savannah getting weirdly intense? She's drunk on your heady musk.
Not that drunk, sadly.
Poor dan patch.
Here you are finally dating a cheerleader, And she won't let you under her skirt.
I have the same problem with scottish bagpipe players.
Savannah's a great girl.
I just wish she'd lighten up on the whole sex issue.
Lighten up, as in agree to have it with you? Not necessarily, believe it or not.
Are you saying you don't want sex? Not if it's gonna be under these circumstances.
I'm tired of talking about it.
Am I ok with not having sex? Do I think she's a prude? If she gives it up, will I consider marriage down the line? Wait.
Marriage? Really? Subject was broached.
Wow.
Just the way she obsesses Over the virginity issue scares me.
Don't overreact.
Yeah? Tell her that.
In her head, she's building it up Into this gigantic rite of passage That's gonna change her life forever.
It's a lot of responsibility.
We know all about you and taking responsibility.
Ok, that's unkind.
Look Hang on to her with both hands, dan patch.
She's good people.
You don't think I know that? Yeah, well, remember it.
Crap.
I'm late.
Where are you off to? State prison.
Heh heh.
I want your life! Guys any closer to springin' me from this hole? Making progress.
We've been looking into deed records.
Your old pal jane loomis is homeless no longer.
She lives here.
splittin' her time Between a freeway underpass and a shelter, And now she's livin' in this palace? Heh.
It's hardly a palace.
Doesn't even have a proper garage.
We think it's weird, too.
A homeless woman agrees to be your alibi, Then recants on the stand, incriminating you, And 2 years later, she's mysteriously living the middle-class dream.
Something's off.
Think someone bribed her to lie? Maybe.
If we find out who it is, It gets you one step closer to gettin' out of this place.
Place is owned by a guy named bobby overton.
Marti: Ring a bell? I--I don't know him.
Sorry.
He, uh, owns a furniture company.
And you think he's in on it? Maybe.
It takes a special sort of humanitarian To rent a house to a woman with no previous address.
We'll see what mr.
Overton has to say.
Real estate law? I wasn't aware such a discipline existed.
How can I help you kids? County records lists you as the owner of a house on maydale street.
You don't mind me asking, What kind of school project is this? Um, we're doing a mock court case Involving rent-control laws.
We're surveying the properties on that block To examine the law's effects.
So, while it's not specifically documented as a rental unit, Uh, there appears to be a tenant living there.
Yeah.
I did that one off the books, A favor to a friend.
What the tax man don't know, he can't tax, hmm? Oh.
Yep.
You're not here to bust me, are you? Ah.
Oh.
No.
No, we wouldn't dream of it.
So jane loomis is your friend? Indeed she is.
I met janie loomis At the south parkway mission down on third street.
I volunteer there every Sunday.
Pardon my french, But life has dealt janie a crap hand.
I had a property that had been empty for 2 years, So I let her take it over rent-free.
Give her a chance to get back on her feet, you know.
H-how long has jane been in the house? Eh, a year or thereabouts.
You know, it's a shame your professor's Got you runnin' all over town, doin' his dirty work.
All work and no play, that's no way to live.
at the pyramid next month.
I'm not gonna use 'em.
That little irish fella.
You take your girl out, show her a good time, hmm? I would consider it a personal favor If you could leave janie loomis alone from now on.
Janie's been through a lot.
Woman on p.
A.
: Mr.
Overton to the loading dock.
Mr.
Overton to the loading dock.
Does the name travis guthrie mean anything to you? I meet a lot of people.
Never been good with names.
So excuse me.
My gal gets cranky if I don't hop to.
That's a man with something to hide.
Bill marsh.
I hate that guy.
He called me an idiot.
I mean, he's a freakin' pencil pusher.
Have you seen the size of his office? Laughable.
Some of us are tryin' to work.
Where is your indignation, Your outrage on my behalf? Well, I left my outrage in my locker.
And I'm tellin' you it was so powerful, I needed to use 2 padlocks so it didn't bust out and terrorize downtown memphis.
Is this funny to you? Is this funny to you? Heh.
You're angry in your underpants.
That's kind of funny, I guess.
Oh, jakey.
I always wanna remember you like this, When you still had your testicles.
Heh heh.
Ok, listen.
Bill marsh is a sanitary napkin in a suit.
I get that.
The coach hates him, we all hate him, But there's a certain protocol we're supposed to be following As ambassadors of lancer football.
I'm not an ambassador of football.
You're a football wife.
Is that how you see me? Really? I'm some kind of, uh, groupie? A hanger-on? No.
No, but you're in a certain position Because of my position.
I'm quarterback, darlin'.
Being my girlfriend comes with certain expectations.
I don't like expectations.
I defy them.
Ok.
Alice, this article is a puff piece.
Ok, dress up football players in nice suits.
Show 'em how well we clean up.
Buy the t-shirt and forget that lancer ever got sanctioned by the ncaa.
So it's a p.
R.
Whitewash? Yes, exactly, so under the circumstances, Going on and on to that reporter About cheerleading was completely inappropriate.
She asked me a question about cheerleading, and I answered it.
I was way more interesting than you Droning on about the lancer lions.
Ooh, "we work hard and play hard.
" I was doing my job, alice.
Try doing yours.
Support me.
And if I don't feel like doing that job? Then you're fired.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my god.
I'm kiddin'.
Jeez.
Look on your face.
You know, you are a nightmare in a pair of panties.
Mwah.
Be right back.
I've made a decision.
Hmm.
Coming over to the dark side? Gonna finally become a dog person? What? God, no.
What then? I'm tired of feeling like an oddball.
I'm ready to take the plunge, Find out what all the fuss is about.
Fuss about what? Virginity.
I'm chopping down the cherry tree.
Ok, so tomorrow night after the party Ok, then.
A limo will take us to the carmichael hotel out of town.
I reserved a suite, white roses, and candles.
Oh, I know dan loves memphis music, So I will not be skimping on the justin timberlake.
Sunday morning, we'll do the buffet brunch.
So--oh, dress! You could help me there.
Will dan prefer a bra that hooks in the front or the back? Savannah, no.
If you think I'm going braless, You can forget about it.
Front hooking, I think.
That way, we maintain eye contact.
Wow.
Oh, what's your position on g-strings? Personally, I think they're disgusting, But this night is for dan, so Ok, you're talking really fast and kind of crazy.
Just sit down and breathe, all right? Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
Yeah.
Was it that obvious? My first time was totally unexpected, ok? It was in the back of a buick off route 51 With somebody I never thought it would happen with.
Were you in love with him? That's a complicated question.
My point is it just happened.
No preplanning.
No stage management.
And it was good For what it was.
Why are you telling me this? Because I think you're awesome.
And I think you need to know that it's ok To throw away the itinerary.
You don't have to micromanage this.
No offense, marti, But for me, losing your virginity is gigantic.
I will remember this night for the rest of my life.
It has to be perfect.
It can't be just some haphazard accident That happens in the back of a car.
Yeah, well, you show up at this hotel with dan And he sees all the planning you've put into this, And you're gonna scare him.
A plan that ends in sex, I mean, what guy says no to that? You're putting too much on this.
If he thinks it means more to you than it means to him, He's gonna run away.
That is a horrible thing to say.
Savannah, I'm just trying to help.
Look, lighten up.
Stop obsessing about the sex.
Let it go.
Let it go.
You sound just like him.
Marti, have you been talking to dan about this? You can't ask me that.
I am.
Dan and I are best friends, And we talk about a lot of things.
Before I started this relationship, I asked you point-blank if you had feelings for dan.
And I said no.
What are you getting at? I just hope your advice Doesn't have an ulterior motive.
Savannah.
We've got some eighties costumes in the back From when we did "heathers," the musical.
And remember, don't tell anybody From the theater department that I let you in here.
Our secret.
Be sure to lock up when you're done.
Oh.
And the matter of my payment.
Oh.
Go, hellcats.
Excellent.
What do you think he's gonna do with that? Do not wanna know.
Better left to the imagination.
Smart thinkin', m, gettin' us into the costume room.
Yeah.
It's cheaper than renting.
Hey, listen, I've got a big surprise planned after the party tonight.
Yeah? What kind of surprise? Promise it's something you've been waiting for, And you won't be disappointed.
Oh, don't drink too much tonight.
Oh.
I need you alert.
Ok.
Wow.
"wow" is right.
Rreow.
Hey.
Oh.
Ow.
That-- that hurts my eyes.
It's what the eighties were all about.
Savannah, are we cool? Fine.
You know I'm on your side, right? I want to believe that.
Well, it's true.
I want you guys to have a good time.
But No buts.
You guys are both my friends, And I want you to be happy.
Sometimes it's hard to be mad at you.
I'm sorry if my awesomeness Confounds your narrow view of humanity.
And other times, it's easy.
Ok.
The romantics: # hey! # # uh-huh # # what I like about you # # you hold me tight # # tell me I'm the only one # # wanna come over tonight? # # yeah # # keep on whisperin' in my ear # # tell me all the things that I wanna hear # # 'cause that's true # # that's what I like about you # # wow! # # hey! # # uh-huh, brrr # # hey! # # our house # # in the middle of our street # # our house # # in the middle of our # # our house # # in the middle of our street # # something tells you that you've got to move away from it # # father gets up late for work # # mother has to iron his shirt # # then she sends the kids to school # # sees them off with a small kiss # # she's the one they're going to miss in lots of ways # Oh, hey.
Hey, somebody's lookin' for you.
What's she doin' here? She's my plus-one.
I'm your plus-one.
Kelsey's my date.
You're just my cheerleader husband, The old ball and chain.
Ha ha! She makin' you crazy? Yeah.
Ha ha! Glad to hear it.
I am so glad you're here.
And with a photographer.
What sane man would turn down An invitation to a cheerleader party? Well, your timing is impeccable.
We're about to perform.
I think you should set up at the top of the balcony.
You'll get the best shot of the opening dance from up there.
Meanwhile, what can I get you to drink? We have got a full bar.
Alice, listen.
Honey, I'm with people.
Lewis: Ladies and gentlemen, May I introduce your hosts-- Celebratin' our 25th anniversary At lancer university, Put your hands together for the hellcats! hee! Oh, come on.
# see the people walkin' down the street # # fall in line, just watchin' all their feet # # they don't know where they wanna go # # but they're walkin' in time # # they got the beat # # we got the beat, we got the beat # # yeah! # # we got it # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # everybody get on your feet # # we got the beat # # we know you can dance to the beat # # we got the beat # # jump back, around # # around and round and round # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # I bought a toothbrush # # some toothpaste # # a flannel for my face # # pajamas, a hairbrush # # new shoes, and a case # # I said to my reflection # # "let's get out of this place" # # tempted by the fruit of another # # tempted, but the truth is discovered # # what's been goin' on # # now that you have gone # # there's no other # # tempted by the fruit of another # # tempted, but the truth is discovered # # I'm at the car park # # the airport # # the baggage carousel # # the people keep on grabbin' # # and wishin' I was well # # I said it's no occasion # # it's no story I can tell # # ooh ooh ooh # # oh, yes, it is # # tempted by the fruit of another # # oh, tempted, but the truth is discovered # Alice: Well, when you grow up with 4 brothers, You have to try harder.
That's what drew me to the hellcats.
We push ourselves to the limits, All in pursuit of excellence.
Some of the newbies wash out right away, But for those of us who stay, What we have is bigger than any football team.
We live together, eat together, Sleep together.
We're a family.
No other word for it.
I-I'm sorry.
I'm a little choked up.
That is so beautiful.
I have a confession to make.
You can tell me anything, kelsey.
My editor hates the football piece.
Alice: No way.
He wants to spike it.
He thinks the football hero thing's been done to death.
I accepted your invite Because I saw a fresh angle-- "cheerleading, the ultimate sport.
" Oh, my gosh.
That--that sounds amazing.
I've been watching the old bid videos you sent me.
I had no idea cheerleaders got that hard-core.
You've just saved my life here.
The new take will focus on the hellcats as underdogs.
Ho! Kelsey! I think I love you.
Heh heh.
J-just let me know what I can do to help.
Maybe a little more champagne.
Oh.
You got it.
Bill marsh wanted that football piece.
Well, you heard the woman.
It was gonna get spiked no matter what I did.
I can't control what the press decides to publish.
Do you have any idea what's gonna happen When bill marsh finds out that a lions football piece Got traded out by a piece on the freakin' hellcats? He's gonna figure out my girlfriend was behind it, And he's gonna have me stuffed and mounted on his wall.
Well, that's quite the visual.
I'm--I'm not screwin' around, alice.
Oh, lighten up.
Bill marsh needs you a lot more than you need him.
That is not the point.
The point is we're supposed to be a couple, And you just stabbed me in the back.
I'm sorry you're so upset.
Next time, maybe you'll treat me with a little bit more respect.
Next time, you'll support me when a bullying jackass Attacks me in a public place and almost makes me cry.
We are supposed to be a couple, after all.
# tempted by the fruit of another # # ooh # # tempted, but the truth is # Marti! I need to talk to you alone.
Wow.
Great eighties costume.
Urkel, right? No, no.
He's skippy from "family ties.
" Yes.
I remind you of famous nerds.
Funny stuff.
I need to talk to you in private.
Yeah.
My laptop was stolen from my dorm room.
I went downstairs to grab some cereal, Came back 10 minutes later, and it was missing.
Uh, my tv, my blu-ray player, my roommate's laptop, They were all still there.
My laptop, gone.
Sorry to hear that.
Was it insured? No, you're not getting this.
This is a warning from overton.
Oh, you think overton stole the laptop? I think he'd steal back the u2 tickets first.
Probably worth more.
He knows we're onto something.
Stuff goes missing from the dorms all the time.
Where's your laptop? Morgan, we're in the middle of a party.
Check.
What-- See? Safe and sound.
You can report the theft with campus security in the morning.
Right now, you should go back to the party, have a beer, Play some ms.
Pac-man.
I don't like video games.
Well, check you out, mr.
Wall street.
Greed is good, But that hair is fantastic.
Yeah.
Well, just don't light a match.
Heh heh.
My hand is out to lead me to the dance floor.
# tell her I'll be waiting # # in the usual place # # with the tired and weary # Isn't life funny sometimes? How do you mean? I always thought you and my baby girl would end up together.
What? Yeah.
You know, a mother knows these things.
I always think it's obnoxious When women say that, but it's true.
I'm--I'm not following.
What's true? Marti's in love with you.
Excuse me? Yeah.
She has been since her sophomore Or junior year in high school, When she got her boobs.
She told me.
Marti was never in love with me.
Did you ever read her diary? Uh, no.
Well, she used to write these little poems.
They were so sweet.
Oh, damn.
The things that we do And say when we're young.
I miss being your age.
What else did she write? Oh, I can't tell you my daughter's secrets.
They would take away my "good mother" card.
But suffice it to say that now that you're older, Who does she call late at night when she needs advice? Not lewis.
Certainly not me.
It's you.
Don't you remember last year when she had the flu And she wouldn't let anybody within 100 miles of her? All of a sudden, you show up with dvds, And she's ready to spread germs all over the damn place.
That, my dear, is love.
That's love.
So I think it's so funny, I mean, marti and lewis And you and savannah whilin' away the time While venus and the gods of love Are gonna wave that magic wand and make you all straighten up.
I don't think so, wanda.
Well, of course you don't, because you're 21, And when you're 21, you are dumb as dirt when it comes to love.
I will bet you a dollar to a doughnut That you and marti will be together within 10 years.
No.
Uhh.
Ok, I can't give you specifics, But you have to remember that I am a woman with inside knowledge, So you bide your time, 'cause my daughter is worth the wait.
# too grown-up to dream # I'm gonna go get a refill.
# now spring is turning # # your face to mine # # I can hear your laughter # Hey.
Hey.
Wanna get out of here? Already? Yeah, I don't know.
I'm tired.
I just wanna get out of this costume, Take a shower, and veg in front of the tv.
Hey, lewis, you give us a minute? Uh, yeah.
I'll just, uh, make my farewell rounds.
I had an interesting conversation with wanda just now.
Well, car wrecks are interesting by nature.
What'd you guys talk about? You.
Yeah.
What about me? Well, for one thing, if you still keep a diary, You need a better lock.
But the other thing Yeah.
Did you ever tell your mom you were in love with me? What? No.
Hold on.
Really think about your answer, 'cause this is important.
It's a party.
Wanda's drinking.
I mean-- She seemed pretty lucid for wanda.
How would any of this come up? And why are you grilling my mom? If you have something to ask me, just say it.
I'm asking you right now.
Wanda seems to think We're soul mates or something Because of things you supposedly told her, So I just wanna know.
Did you or did you not Suggest to your mom that you believed we would end up together? No.
I mean, maybe.
Yeah.
Look, if--if I did-- And that's a big if-- it was a long time ago, so-- I mean, I've also been in love with trent reznor, Tori amos, a-and the guy from the dyson vacuum cleaner ads, so I-- Ok, look, I'm goin' down a road here with savannah.
Is there any reason I shouldn't? Like what? You tell me.
I have nothing to say.
Got it? Abc: # the look of love # # it's the look, it's the look # I got it.
# the look of love # # look of love # You and my mom are something Incredible.
# then you'll judge a look by the lover # # I hope you'll soon recover # Hey.
Have you seen savannah? I wanna introduce her to my reporter friend.
Yeah.
She'll be back in a minute.
She went to cheertown to get her overnight bag.
Oh, right.
Tonight's the big night.
So it is.
# there must be a solution to the one thing # # the one thing we can't find # # it's the look # You ever wondered if you made a mistake you couldn't fix? I don't believe in regret.
That must be nice for you.
My dad says there's no such thing as mistakes, Only new opportunities.
Smart way to look at it, I guess.
You can second-guess yourself out of anything, But you do it enough, you start to realize That your life is passing you by.
Dan.
Here's your girl.
Ready to go? I have a car waiting outside.
# hip hip hooray-ay # # it's the look, it's the look # Absolutely.
# be lucky in love # # look of love # Hey, everything ok? Yeah.
Just had a long night.
You, uh, Wanna make it a little longer? Hmm? What? I'm not feeling well.
I-I'll be fine in the morning.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Well, if you wanna talk about anything-- I don't.
That's fine.
I'm not prying.
I appreciate that.
But if you do need to talk about anything-- I'm--I'm good.
Good.
Good.
Hey, lewis! Have you seen my laptop?! Lewis, have you seen my laptop?! I think somebody's been in here.
Lewis! Ok, it was on my bed during the party.
Lewis: Building auto-locks at night.
Nobody gets in without a key.
Before we go any further, There's something I wanna tell you.
Anything.
I'm really excitedua be my first.
Me, too.
For a while, I was really worried That my first time wouldn't be special And I'd reach a point in my life Where I'd just have to hurry up and get it over with.
Why would you do that? Because I know it's a little weird To be a 21-year-old virgin in this day and age.
Savannah, nothing about you is weird.
You're my girl.
I was starting to wonder if the person I was waiting for Was ever gonna come along, But now I know it was the right decision to wait, Because you're the one I've been waiting for.
It's gotta be the right person.
I believe that.
Yeah.
# would you open up your eyes? # # without trying to disguise # Whoa.
Ok, maybe I went a little overboard.
No.
It's cool.
It is? It's not too much? It's perfect.
Mmm.
Uhh! Look at this.
Great sheets.
Like, 6,000 pillows.
Seriously, there is, like, 7, 8-- More pillows than I can count.
This is a good bed.
It's the perfect setting For the first time.
What was your first time like? You really wanna know? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
It's not a very interesting story.
I don't care.
It was high school.
Did you love her? Yeah.
Yes, I did.
What do I know? I was 16, you know? # come home in the morning light # # my mother says # what are you doin'? This is a bad idea.
So was it romantic? Was what romantic? Your first time.
Oh.
Not remotely.
In the back of a buick, middle of nowhere Out off, uh, route 51.
# huhh huhh # # I wanna be the one to walk in the sun # # girls # # they wanna have fun # Savannah? # oh, girls, they wanna have fun # # that's what they really want # # some fun # # when the workin' day is done # # oh, girls, they wanna have # Savannah.
Savannah!
A.
's office where everybody talks In flat yankee vowels.
You're applying for a scholarship? I have one now for cheerleading.
Cheerleading? Oh.
Hello, marti.
Welcome to cheertown.
Do you have a thing for dan? What? Because if you do, I'll back off.
No.
I don't wanna create drama within the squad.
Dan and I are just buds.
I'm on a date with half the squad.
Look, the girl was home-schooled, ok? Her parents raised her like veal.
The group thing is how her church used to handle dating.
Growing up, I always figured I'd wait Until I was married to have sex.
Marriage, sex-- Let's just take one step at a time, Not worry so much.
I need 2 prelaw students to help me.
You're in.
My law clinic starts Monday.
A man been sentenced to life in prison for a minor burglary.
You've made it clear you don't care if travis is innocent.
You found something that proves his innocence? I'm searching everywhere for this jane loomis.
Ta-da.
We'd like to talk to you About your ex-boyfriend, travis guthrie.
Our law clinic is looking into his robbery conviction.
I really have nothing more to add.
Thank you.
# 1, 2, 3, 4 # Vanessa: 5, 6, 7, 8.
All right.
Ok.
The go-go's: # see the people walkin' down the street # # fall in line, just watchin' all their feet # # they don't know where they wanna go # # but they're walkin' in time # # they got the beat # # we got the beat, we got the beat # Vanessa: Ok, everybody, let's do it again.
Hey.
I'm here.
Oh, good.
You can help me with these.
And 2 They're working up a go-go's routine? Really? We're setting up for the spirit party.
Oh, yeah, that.
I didn't realize it was coming up so soon.
Haven't you been reading the daily cheertown bulletin? I'm proud to say I didn't know we had one.
Still, why go-go's? It's the 25th anniversary of the founding of the hellcats in 1985, So this year has got an eighties theme.
I like that there's a sense of history in the bobblehead community.
Iteally hard to make that nickname sound complimentary.
Oh, I kid the bobblehead.
I'm sure you think you're being playful.
No, I just like the word.
"bobblehead.
" # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # Alice, why are you all dressed up? Oh, something came up.
I can't stay.
But you promised to help.
"fotogem" is doing a style piece On the private lives of lancer football stars.
Wow.
Who said journalism is dead? It's a p.
R.
Offensive from the athletic department.
They're just trying to make people forget about that pay-for-play scandal.
I couldn't care less.
All I know is I am getting my picture in a glossy magazine.
Never thought I'd see you as a football wife.
Heh.
I am not anyone's wife.
But it's a great magazine.
I'm lookin' hot.
Jake is gonna look dashing, and after the photo shoot, We'll go have nasty, acrobatic sex In positions that you can't even draw.
Oh, pretty much anyone can draw a stick figure, so God Who let him in here? I did.
I'm just pitchin' in, aidin' the cause, Helpin' the angels of spirit Make the world a cheerier place.
God.
Savannah, does he talk that much during sex? I wouldn't know.
Right.
Of course you wouldn't.
Don't wait up, kids.
What does that mean, "of course I wouldn't"? Heh heh.
I don't like how she's gettin' Ever since she hooked up with jake.
Anybody ever tell you you think about jake too much? Mmm.
Ooh.
Uh, jake who? That's great, guys.
Smile.
Big smiles.
Great.
Thank you.
We'll do singles over there.
Jake.
Ah.
So tell me a little about the social life as lancers qb 1.
Well, it's rigorous, you know.
Work hard.
Play hard.
Nap every 2 weeks whether I need it or not.
Oh, I have a parlor trick for you.
I can name your perfume.
No way.
Mm-hmm.
Lolita lempicka.
That's amazing.
How did you do that? Do what? How did I charm you in 10 seconds? Oh, listen, you need to meet my girlfriend.
Alice.
Come up here.
Alice, darling, meet kelsey.
A pleasure.
I love your magazine.
Alice is a cheerleader.
Of course she is.
Quarterbacks and pompom girls, It's like peanut butter and jelly, right? We're not pompom girls.
Oh? Yes.
We cheer at games, But that's just to pay the rent.
We're competitive athletes.
Yeah, the hellcats rock the sidelines every Saturday afternoon.
Our fans just love 'em.
You said the team competes? Yes.
We're ranked seventh overall In the southern coed division, And we've qualified to move on To sectional competitions next month.
Impressive.
Oh, you would think so, right? But apparently it doesn't matter To lancer's crack athletic department bureaucrats.
They reallocated our funds to the volleyball team.
We love our volleyball gals.
Any one of 'em could kick my butt.
Know what I'm saying? But somehow lancer found $3 million For red raymond's salary this year.
Can I steal the lovely ms.
Verdura? Just for a second, jake.
We'll be back in Be right back.
You're hurting my arm.
What in god's name do you think you're doing? You don't talk to me like that.
This is an article about the football team, The lions, not a platform for your cheerleading agenda.
My agenda? You're gonna go back in there, You're gonna smile, and you're gonna shut your mouth.
You got it? No.
I don't think I got anything.
I don't care who your daddy is.
If you don't tell me what I wanna hear right now, I will rain holy hell upon you, you smart-mouthed little idiot.
Now tell me.
Tell me.
Yes, sir.
Thanks, angel.
You know, I hope this man here has told you how pretty you look today.
Thanks for all the support.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
Can I crash with you? Darwin needs the room.
He hooked up again? Yeah.
He met some guy at empire.
Heh heh.
It's always the quiet ones.
What is in his dna, and where can I get some? Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course you can stay.
Let me just clear it with savannah first.
Hey, I swear, no funny stuff.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Don't make rash promises.
Mmm.
Ooh.
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Yo, m.
Oh, hey, marti, is it cool If dan crashes on the floor tonight? Heh.
Ha.
Funny story.
Y'all want help fixing up a spot on the floor for lewis? Wh-where? In the closet? Oh.
Oh, you two are-- Don't look so scandalized.
I-it's just that we're all in the same room.
We're not planning on having sex with you guys in the room.
Oh.
Thank the lord for small favors.
If there's a problem, I can just take the sofa outside.
No problem.
It's all good.
Dan: At least you achieved mattress.
I'm sorry.
What? I said at least he achieved mattress.
I know what you said.
It was a crack.
No crack.
Statement of fact.
He is in the bed.
Because he's got a cool girlfriend and yours is a prude? I did not say that.
I would have remembered If he called me cool.
Relax.
Yeah.
We're all just slumber party pals.
Sorry.
Ok, now everyone's on eggshells.
I-I'm feeling pressured.
You guys want me to invite dan in my bed, right, Ease the tension? Nope.
Not really.
Do not have a dog in that race.
I-I'm a good girl, and I resent Being forced to apologize for it.
Look, nobody is asking you to apologize.
Look, why don't I just go home? To your room that you share With your older brother and his fiancée? That's terrible and awkward.
You say so all the time.
And yet, at this moment, It seems strangely appealing.
You get the bed.
I'll take the sofa.
No.
I'm not letting you-- No.
You're a guest.
You get the bed.
That's how it works.
Wow.
Somebody's got issues.
Aw, so much for my orgy fantasy.
Is it me, or is savannah getting weirdly intense? She's drunk on your heady musk.
Not that drunk, sadly.
Poor dan patch.
Here you are finally dating a cheerleader, And she won't let you under her skirt.
I have the same problem with scottish bagpipe players.
Savannah's a great girl.
I just wish she'd lighten up on the whole sex issue.
Lighten up, as in agree to have it with you? Not necessarily, believe it or not.
Are you saying you don't want sex? Not if it's gonna be under these circumstances.
I'm tired of talking about it.
Am I ok with not having sex? Do I think she's a prude? If she gives it up, will I consider marriage down the line? Wait.
Marriage? Really? Subject was broached.
Wow.
Just the way she obsesses Over the virginity issue scares me.
Don't overreact.
Yeah? Tell her that.
In her head, she's building it up Into this gigantic rite of passage That's gonna change her life forever.
It's a lot of responsibility.
We know all about you and taking responsibility.
Ok, that's unkind.
Look Hang on to her with both hands, dan patch.
She's good people.
You don't think I know that? Yeah, well, remember it.
Crap.
I'm late.
Where are you off to? State prison.
Heh heh.
I want your life! Guys any closer to springin' me from this hole? Making progress.
We've been looking into deed records.
Your old pal jane loomis is homeless no longer.
She lives here.
splittin' her time Between a freeway underpass and a shelter, And now she's livin' in this palace? Heh.
It's hardly a palace.
Doesn't even have a proper garage.
We think it's weird, too.
A homeless woman agrees to be your alibi, Then recants on the stand, incriminating you, And 2 years later, she's mysteriously living the middle-class dream.
Something's off.
Think someone bribed her to lie? Maybe.
If we find out who it is, It gets you one step closer to gettin' out of this place.
Place is owned by a guy named bobby overton.
Marti: Ring a bell? I--I don't know him.
Sorry.
He, uh, owns a furniture company.
And you think he's in on it? Maybe.
It takes a special sort of humanitarian To rent a house to a woman with no previous address.
We'll see what mr.
Overton has to say.
Real estate law? I wasn't aware such a discipline existed.
How can I help you kids? County records lists you as the owner of a house on maydale street.
You don't mind me asking, What kind of school project is this? Um, we're doing a mock court case Involving rent-control laws.
We're surveying the properties on that block To examine the law's effects.
So, while it's not specifically documented as a rental unit, Uh, there appears to be a tenant living there.
Yeah.
I did that one off the books, A favor to a friend.
What the tax man don't know, he can't tax, hmm? Oh.
Yep.
You're not here to bust me, are you? Ah.
Oh.
No.
No, we wouldn't dream of it.
So jane loomis is your friend? Indeed she is.
I met janie loomis At the south parkway mission down on third street.
I volunteer there every Sunday.
Pardon my french, But life has dealt janie a crap hand.
I had a property that had been empty for 2 years, So I let her take it over rent-free.
Give her a chance to get back on her feet, you know.
H-how long has jane been in the house? Eh, a year or thereabouts.
You know, it's a shame your professor's Got you runnin' all over town, doin' his dirty work.
All work and no play, that's no way to live.
at the pyramid next month.
I'm not gonna use 'em.
That little irish fella.
You take your girl out, show her a good time, hmm? I would consider it a personal favor If you could leave janie loomis alone from now on.
Janie's been through a lot.
Woman on p.
A.
: Mr.
Overton to the loading dock.
Mr.
Overton to the loading dock.
Does the name travis guthrie mean anything to you? I meet a lot of people.
Never been good with names.
So excuse me.
My gal gets cranky if I don't hop to.
That's a man with something to hide.
Bill marsh.
I hate that guy.
He called me an idiot.
I mean, he's a freakin' pencil pusher.
Have you seen the size of his office? Laughable.
Some of us are tryin' to work.
Where is your indignation, Your outrage on my behalf? Well, I left my outrage in my locker.
And I'm tellin' you it was so powerful, I needed to use 2 padlocks so it didn't bust out and terrorize downtown memphis.
Is this funny to you? Is this funny to you? Heh.
You're angry in your underpants.
That's kind of funny, I guess.
Oh, jakey.
I always wanna remember you like this, When you still had your testicles.
Heh heh.
Ok, listen.
Bill marsh is a sanitary napkin in a suit.
I get that.
The coach hates him, we all hate him, But there's a certain protocol we're supposed to be following As ambassadors of lancer football.
I'm not an ambassador of football.
You're a football wife.
Is that how you see me? Really? I'm some kind of, uh, groupie? A hanger-on? No.
No, but you're in a certain position Because of my position.
I'm quarterback, darlin'.
Being my girlfriend comes with certain expectations.
I don't like expectations.
I defy them.
Ok.
Alice, this article is a puff piece.
Ok, dress up football players in nice suits.
Show 'em how well we clean up.
Buy the t-shirt and forget that lancer ever got sanctioned by the ncaa.
So it's a p.
R.
Whitewash? Yes, exactly, so under the circumstances, Going on and on to that reporter About cheerleading was completely inappropriate.
She asked me a question about cheerleading, and I answered it.
I was way more interesting than you Droning on about the lancer lions.
Ooh, "we work hard and play hard.
" I was doing my job, alice.
Try doing yours.
Support me.
And if I don't feel like doing that job? Then you're fired.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my god.
I'm kiddin'.
Jeez.
Look on your face.
You know, you are a nightmare in a pair of panties.
Mwah.
Be right back.
I've made a decision.
Hmm.
Coming over to the dark side? Gonna finally become a dog person? What? God, no.
What then? I'm tired of feeling like an oddball.
I'm ready to take the plunge, Find out what all the fuss is about.
Fuss about what? Virginity.
I'm chopping down the cherry tree.
Ok, so tomorrow night after the party Ok, then.
A limo will take us to the carmichael hotel out of town.
I reserved a suite, white roses, and candles.
Oh, I know dan loves memphis music, So I will not be skimping on the justin timberlake.
Sunday morning, we'll do the buffet brunch.
So--oh, dress! You could help me there.
Will dan prefer a bra that hooks in the front or the back? Savannah, no.
If you think I'm going braless, You can forget about it.
Front hooking, I think.
That way, we maintain eye contact.
Wow.
Oh, what's your position on g-strings? Personally, I think they're disgusting, But this night is for dan, so Ok, you're talking really fast and kind of crazy.
Just sit down and breathe, all right? Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
Yeah.
Was it that obvious? My first time was totally unexpected, ok? It was in the back of a buick off route 51 With somebody I never thought it would happen with.
Were you in love with him? That's a complicated question.
My point is it just happened.
No preplanning.
No stage management.
And it was good For what it was.
Why are you telling me this? Because I think you're awesome.
And I think you need to know that it's ok To throw away the itinerary.
You don't have to micromanage this.
No offense, marti, But for me, losing your virginity is gigantic.
I will remember this night for the rest of my life.
It has to be perfect.
It can't be just some haphazard accident That happens in the back of a car.
Yeah, well, you show up at this hotel with dan And he sees all the planning you've put into this, And you're gonna scare him.
A plan that ends in sex, I mean, what guy says no to that? You're putting too much on this.
If he thinks it means more to you than it means to him, He's gonna run away.
That is a horrible thing to say.
Savannah, I'm just trying to help.
Look, lighten up.
Stop obsessing about the sex.
Let it go.
Let it go.
You sound just like him.
Marti, have you been talking to dan about this? You can't ask me that.
I am.
Dan and I are best friends, And we talk about a lot of things.
Before I started this relationship, I asked you point-blank if you had feelings for dan.
And I said no.
What are you getting at? I just hope your advice Doesn't have an ulterior motive.
Savannah.
We've got some eighties costumes in the back From when we did "heathers," the musical.
And remember, don't tell anybody From the theater department that I let you in here.
Our secret.
Be sure to lock up when you're done.
Oh.
And the matter of my payment.
Oh.
Go, hellcats.
Excellent.
What do you think he's gonna do with that? Do not wanna know.
Better left to the imagination.
Smart thinkin', m, gettin' us into the costume room.
Yeah.
It's cheaper than renting.
Hey, listen, I've got a big surprise planned after the party tonight.
Yeah? What kind of surprise? Promise it's something you've been waiting for, And you won't be disappointed.
Oh, don't drink too much tonight.
Oh.
I need you alert.
Ok.
Wow.
"wow" is right.
Rreow.
Hey.
Oh.
Ow.
That-- that hurts my eyes.
It's what the eighties were all about.
Savannah, are we cool? Fine.
You know I'm on your side, right? I want to believe that.
Well, it's true.
I want you guys to have a good time.
But No buts.
You guys are both my friends, And I want you to be happy.
Sometimes it's hard to be mad at you.
I'm sorry if my awesomeness Confounds your narrow view of humanity.
And other times, it's easy.
Ok.
The romantics: # hey! # # uh-huh # # what I like about you # # you hold me tight # # tell me I'm the only one # # wanna come over tonight? # # yeah # # keep on whisperin' in my ear # # tell me all the things that I wanna hear # # 'cause that's true # # that's what I like about you # # wow! # # hey! # # uh-huh, brrr # # hey! # # our house # # in the middle of our street # # our house # # in the middle of our # # our house # # in the middle of our street # # something tells you that you've got to move away from it # # father gets up late for work # # mother has to iron his shirt # # then she sends the kids to school # # sees them off with a small kiss # # she's the one they're going to miss in lots of ways # Oh, hey.
Hey, somebody's lookin' for you.
What's she doin' here? She's my plus-one.
I'm your plus-one.
Kelsey's my date.
You're just my cheerleader husband, The old ball and chain.
Ha ha! She makin' you crazy? Yeah.
Ha ha! Glad to hear it.
I am so glad you're here.
And with a photographer.
What sane man would turn down An invitation to a cheerleader party? Well, your timing is impeccable.
We're about to perform.
I think you should set up at the top of the balcony.
You'll get the best shot of the opening dance from up there.
Meanwhile, what can I get you to drink? We have got a full bar.
Alice, listen.
Honey, I'm with people.
Lewis: Ladies and gentlemen, May I introduce your hosts-- Celebratin' our 25th anniversary At lancer university, Put your hands together for the hellcats! hee! Oh, come on.
# see the people walkin' down the street # # fall in line, just watchin' all their feet # # they don't know where they wanna go # # but they're walkin' in time # # they got the beat # # we got the beat, we got the beat # # yeah! # # we got it # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # everybody get on your feet # # we got the beat # # we know you can dance to the beat # # we got the beat # # jump back, around # # around and round and round # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # we got the beat # # I bought a toothbrush # # some toothpaste # # a flannel for my face # # pajamas, a hairbrush # # new shoes, and a case # # I said to my reflection # # "let's get out of this place" # # tempted by the fruit of another # # tempted, but the truth is discovered # # what's been goin' on # # now that you have gone # # there's no other # # tempted by the fruit of another # # tempted, but the truth is discovered # # I'm at the car park # # the airport # # the baggage carousel # # the people keep on grabbin' # # and wishin' I was well # # I said it's no occasion # # it's no story I can tell # # ooh ooh ooh # # oh, yes, it is # # tempted by the fruit of another # # oh, tempted, but the truth is discovered # Alice: Well, when you grow up with 4 brothers, You have to try harder.
That's what drew me to the hellcats.
We push ourselves to the limits, All in pursuit of excellence.
Some of the newbies wash out right away, But for those of us who stay, What we have is bigger than any football team.
We live together, eat together, Sleep together.
We're a family.
No other word for it.
I-I'm sorry.
I'm a little choked up.
That is so beautiful.
I have a confession to make.
You can tell me anything, kelsey.
My editor hates the football piece.
Alice: No way.
He wants to spike it.
He thinks the football hero thing's been done to death.
I accepted your invite Because I saw a fresh angle-- "cheerleading, the ultimate sport.
" Oh, my gosh.
That--that sounds amazing.
I've been watching the old bid videos you sent me.
I had no idea cheerleaders got that hard-core.
You've just saved my life here.
The new take will focus on the hellcats as underdogs.
Ho! Kelsey! I think I love you.
Heh heh.
J-just let me know what I can do to help.
Maybe a little more champagne.
Oh.
You got it.
Bill marsh wanted that football piece.
Well, you heard the woman.
It was gonna get spiked no matter what I did.
I can't control what the press decides to publish.
Do you have any idea what's gonna happen When bill marsh finds out that a lions football piece Got traded out by a piece on the freakin' hellcats? He's gonna figure out my girlfriend was behind it, And he's gonna have me stuffed and mounted on his wall.
Well, that's quite the visual.
I'm--I'm not screwin' around, alice.
Oh, lighten up.
Bill marsh needs you a lot more than you need him.
That is not the point.
The point is we're supposed to be a couple, And you just stabbed me in the back.
I'm sorry you're so upset.
Next time, maybe you'll treat me with a little bit more respect.
Next time, you'll support me when a bullying jackass Attacks me in a public place and almost makes me cry.
We are supposed to be a couple, after all.
# tempted by the fruit of another # # ooh # # tempted, but the truth is # Marti! I need to talk to you alone.
Wow.
Great eighties costume.
Urkel, right? No, no.
He's skippy from "family ties.
" Yes.
I remind you of famous nerds.
Funny stuff.
I need to talk to you in private.
Yeah.
My laptop was stolen from my dorm room.
I went downstairs to grab some cereal, Came back 10 minutes later, and it was missing.
Uh, my tv, my blu-ray player, my roommate's laptop, They were all still there.
My laptop, gone.
Sorry to hear that.
Was it insured? No, you're not getting this.
This is a warning from overton.
Oh, you think overton stole the laptop? I think he'd steal back the u2 tickets first.
Probably worth more.
He knows we're onto something.
Stuff goes missing from the dorms all the time.
Where's your laptop? Morgan, we're in the middle of a party.
Check.
What-- See? Safe and sound.
You can report the theft with campus security in the morning.
Right now, you should go back to the party, have a beer, Play some ms.
Pac-man.
I don't like video games.
Well, check you out, mr.
Wall street.
Greed is good, But that hair is fantastic.
Yeah.
Well, just don't light a match.
Heh heh.
My hand is out to lead me to the dance floor.
# tell her I'll be waiting # # in the usual place # # with the tired and weary # Isn't life funny sometimes? How do you mean? I always thought you and my baby girl would end up together.
What? Yeah.
You know, a mother knows these things.
I always think it's obnoxious When women say that, but it's true.
I'm--I'm not following.
What's true? Marti's in love with you.
Excuse me? Yeah.
She has been since her sophomore Or junior year in high school, When she got her boobs.
She told me.
Marti was never in love with me.
Did you ever read her diary? Uh, no.
Well, she used to write these little poems.
They were so sweet.
Oh, damn.
The things that we do And say when we're young.
I miss being your age.
What else did she write? Oh, I can't tell you my daughter's secrets.
They would take away my "good mother" card.
But suffice it to say that now that you're older, Who does she call late at night when she needs advice? Not lewis.
Certainly not me.
It's you.
Don't you remember last year when she had the flu And she wouldn't let anybody within 100 miles of her? All of a sudden, you show up with dvds, And she's ready to spread germs all over the damn place.
That, my dear, is love.
That's love.
So I think it's so funny, I mean, marti and lewis And you and savannah whilin' away the time While venus and the gods of love Are gonna wave that magic wand and make you all straighten up.
I don't think so, wanda.
Well, of course you don't, because you're 21, And when you're 21, you are dumb as dirt when it comes to love.
I will bet you a dollar to a doughnut That you and marti will be together within 10 years.
No.
Uhh.
Ok, I can't give you specifics, But you have to remember that I am a woman with inside knowledge, So you bide your time, 'cause my daughter is worth the wait.
# too grown-up to dream # I'm gonna go get a refill.
# now spring is turning # # your face to mine # # I can hear your laughter # Hey.
Hey.
Wanna get out of here? Already? Yeah, I don't know.
I'm tired.
I just wanna get out of this costume, Take a shower, and veg in front of the tv.
Hey, lewis, you give us a minute? Uh, yeah.
I'll just, uh, make my farewell rounds.
I had an interesting conversation with wanda just now.
Well, car wrecks are interesting by nature.
What'd you guys talk about? You.
Yeah.
What about me? Well, for one thing, if you still keep a diary, You need a better lock.
But the other thing Yeah.
Did you ever tell your mom you were in love with me? What? No.
Hold on.
Really think about your answer, 'cause this is important.
It's a party.
Wanda's drinking.
I mean-- She seemed pretty lucid for wanda.
How would any of this come up? And why are you grilling my mom? If you have something to ask me, just say it.
I'm asking you right now.
Wanda seems to think We're soul mates or something Because of things you supposedly told her, So I just wanna know.
Did you or did you not Suggest to your mom that you believed we would end up together? No.
I mean, maybe.
Yeah.
Look, if--if I did-- And that's a big if-- it was a long time ago, so-- I mean, I've also been in love with trent reznor, Tori amos, a-and the guy from the dyson vacuum cleaner ads, so I-- Ok, look, I'm goin' down a road here with savannah.
Is there any reason I shouldn't? Like what? You tell me.
I have nothing to say.
Got it? Abc: # the look of love # # it's the look, it's the look # I got it.
# the look of love # # look of love # You and my mom are something Incredible.
# then you'll judge a look by the lover # # I hope you'll soon recover # Hey.
Have you seen savannah? I wanna introduce her to my reporter friend.
Yeah.
She'll be back in a minute.
She went to cheertown to get her overnight bag.
Oh, right.
Tonight's the big night.
So it is.
# there must be a solution to the one thing # # the one thing we can't find # # it's the look # You ever wondered if you made a mistake you couldn't fix? I don't believe in regret.
That must be nice for you.
My dad says there's no such thing as mistakes, Only new opportunities.
Smart way to look at it, I guess.
You can second-guess yourself out of anything, But you do it enough, you start to realize That your life is passing you by.
Dan.
Here's your girl.
Ready to go? I have a car waiting outside.
# hip hip hooray-ay # # it's the look, it's the look # Absolutely.
# be lucky in love # # look of love # Hey, everything ok? Yeah.
Just had a long night.
You, uh, Wanna make it a little longer? Hmm? What? I'm not feeling well.
I-I'll be fine in the morning.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Well, if you wanna talk about anything-- I don't.
That's fine.
I'm not prying.
I appreciate that.
But if you do need to talk about anything-- I'm--I'm good.
Good.
Good.
Hey, lewis! Have you seen my laptop?! Lewis, have you seen my laptop?! I think somebody's been in here.
Lewis! Ok, it was on my bed during the party.
Lewis: Building auto-locks at night.
Nobody gets in without a key.
Before we go any further, There's something I wanna tell you.
Anything.
I'm really excitedua be my first.
Me, too.
For a while, I was really worried That my first time wouldn't be special And I'd reach a point in my life Where I'd just have to hurry up and get it over with.
Why would you do that? Because I know it's a little weird To be a 21-year-old virgin in this day and age.
Savannah, nothing about you is weird.
You're my girl.
I was starting to wonder if the person I was waiting for Was ever gonna come along, But now I know it was the right decision to wait, Because you're the one I've been waiting for.
It's gotta be the right person.
I believe that.
Yeah.
# would you open up your eyes? # # without trying to disguise # Whoa.
Ok, maybe I went a little overboard.
No.
It's cool.
It is? It's not too much? It's perfect.
Mmm.
Uhh! Look at this.
Great sheets.
Like, 6,000 pillows.
Seriously, there is, like, 7, 8-- More pillows than I can count.
This is a good bed.
It's the perfect setting For the first time.
What was your first time like? You really wanna know? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
It's not a very interesting story.
I don't care.
It was high school.
Did you love her? Yeah.
Yes, I did.
What do I know? I was 16, you know? # come home in the morning light # # my mother says # what are you doin'? This is a bad idea.
So was it romantic? Was what romantic? Your first time.
Oh.
Not remotely.
In the back of a buick, middle of nowhere Out off, uh, route 51.
# huhh huhh # # I wanna be the one to walk in the sun # # girls # # they wanna have fun # Savannah? # oh, girls, they wanna have fun # # that's what they really want # # some fun # # when the workin' day is done # # oh, girls, they wanna have # Savannah.
Savannah!