The Lone Gunmen s01e10 Episode Script

Tango de los Pistoleros

(music) [Flamenco Guitar Intro.]
[Yves Narrating.]
There is danger here because what appears to be love is only sadnessa lie.
This is the nature of the tango.
It is more than just a dance.
Some say it is a dialogue between a man and a woman.
(music) [Tango.]
Those who don't understand the tango view it as a romantic expression of passionate love.
It is not.
The tango is a dance ofloneliness, of isolation.
The dancers move their lower bodies remaining stiff from the waist up.
Eyes intense but distant.
It is the man who controls, with his eyes.
But it is the woman who is really in control.
In its most perfect form the tango is life, and the tango is death.
(music) [Fades.]
- [Sharp Whir.]
- [Groans.]
[Yves's Voice.]
Now that wasn't very sporting of me, was it? [Frohike.]
God, she's beautiful.
The black widow and her prey.
It's almost Zen-like, the way she works.
I don't feel good about this.
How good do you think that guy feels? If she could get two bucks for his kneecaps, she'd steal both his legs.
That doesn't make me feel right about double-crossing her.
How many times has Yves stuck it to us hijacked our work for her own financial gain? She's helped us out too.
Sort of.
I understand your feelings, but in our own defense, we have a right to this story.
Damn straight and you better know it's important if it got me to set foot here in Miami.
- [Sighs.]
- [Electronic Beep.]
A boat's approaching.
This is it.
Perfect.
He's leaving the boat.
Signal Langly.
Blowfish, this is Titanic.
Titanic to Blowfish.
Clear to begin "Operation Stab Your Associate in the Back.
" Give me that.
Who gave him the damn headset? Get a move on, frogman.
Check out that boat.
Right.
- [Speaking Spanish.]
- Sí.
[Byers.]
Yves is keeping him busy, but not for long.
Langly, anything? Do you copy? Hang on.
It ain't easy when I don't know what I'm looking for.
Assume whatever it is has been camouflaged - hidden in plain sight.
- Yeah, right.
[Speaking Spanish.]
No.
It's here.
It's gotta be.
A six-pack of German beer.
This guy wouldn't drink German beer.
- Check the cans.
- Way ahead of you, Sherlock.
Whoa! [Engine Gunning.]
[Screaming.]
- Oh, God.
Langly! - [Speaking Spanish.]
Cuchillo? Cuchillo! Cuchillo! Cuchillo! - What are you doing? - Calligraphy.
What does it look like I'm doing? - We're going home? - No, we're not going home.
We're onto something big here.
Whatever we were onto was last seen headed toward the Bermuda Triangle at full throttle.
Now we're onto "el bupkis grande," and I for one am getting the hell out of Miami.
No, you are not not after I nearly died last night.
Whose fault was that, Aquaman? Look.
We took a shot.
We lost.
We'll get her next time.
Back me up here.
You're lucky to be alive.
Maybe we should cut our losses.
Maybe it serves us right, guys.
You go in with bad intentions, only bad things can come from it.
- What are you, a fortune cookie? - [Knocking.]
I can't believe you three.
Yves is out there somewhere, plotting and scheming, and you guys just You're alive.
You don't know how unhappy this makes me.
Yves, so what brings you to the Sunshine State? - An automobile tracking device? - [Groans.]
Well It's my own creation.
I call it the "Frojack.
" How helpful.
Now we know the answer to the question "How many fools does it take to ruin a foolproof plan?" Four? Yves, I'll concede there was some poorjudgment involved.
What could you possibly hope to gain from following me here? We hoped to expose your smuggler.
And, if we're being honest about this we hoped there would be some reward money when all was said and done.
- But we're journalists first.
- Reward money? Mm-hmm.
Take it.
Get out of Miami.
I never want to see any of you again.
Ever! There must be over 500 bucks here.
We are stopping at the Red Lobster on the way home, my friends.
Come on.
You're not seriously falling for that one, are you? - What do you mean? - Oh, come on.
It's so obvious.
She's trying to throw us off the scent.
Why throw money at us if the deal's blown? The only thing that's blown is us and not in a good way.
No.
We're taking the money and hightailing it out of here.
I must admit.
I am curious.
I don't think there was anything on that boat.
I think the smuggler had his goods on him - and that means - He's still out there, waiting to deal.
I know you'll say I should not have come here but I was careful not to be seen.
I could not be sure what you heard about what happened on the docks that night.
The deal didn't go through.
That much I know.
I found your man here tied like a hog.
Did he tell you that? - He did.
What else? - He has a twin brother.
- I have no twin.
I told you.
- And there was a blonde woman on my boat.
- A blonde woman? - Yeah, a blonde woman long, flowing hair, huh? I still hear her scream in my head.
[Screams.]
She and Cuchillo's twin brother are obviously working together.
That is why I came to see you, Mr.
Santavos.
Let's make this right.
There is twice our original agreement compensation for your boat and your troubles.
Do you have it? - (music) [Flamenco Guitar Intro.]
- This is what you wanted me to bring to you? Have a good day, Mr.
Morales.
And thank you for your efforts.
- I have no twin brother.
- (music) [Tango.]
Someone knows our plans, and there are loose ends to be tied.
Then tie them.
(music) [Continues.]
(music) [Continues.]
No, no, no! Señor Hernando, I hate this.
It is no good.
It is perfectly good.
This step will bring you both your second championship.
[Woman.]
No! It doesn't go with the music! Look[Vocalizing.]
More sweep.
[Beeps.]
Hey, guys.
Peekaboo.
[Frohike.]
A match on our smuggler.
- [Byers.]
Emanuel Morales.
- [Langly.]
A Miami Address.
- Ow! - [Groaning.]
- Aaah! - Aaah! Mr.
Morales? My God, Leonardo.
How can I dance with these monstrosities? Carlotta, I Stop staring at me.
Such bad luck Two days just before the competition.
Will you excuse me? Mr.
Duncan, may I impose? Would you care to dance? It's unfortunate about your - Partner? - Mm.
Dance partner.
It is, very.
I have never seen anything like it in all my life.
Forgive me.
Leonardo Santavos.
Verah Ledow.
Verah.
I saw you signing up for the beginners' class.
Why? - I'm a beginner.
- [Laughs.]
I don't believe that.
You're too good.
One more thing You understand the tango.
You know that it's less about movement and more about expression.
¿Cómo se dice? Expressing sensuality.
- Beginner's luck.
- No.
It's also about mystery something which you have down pat as well.
You know, I need a new partner.
What if I turn out to be not quite as good as you think? Uh, it's worth the uncovering, no? [Langly.]
Check it out.
Calling cards for murder.
Just like the one we found beside our dead smuggler.
- Whose calling cards? - A death squad that was part of Argentina's military junta Las Calaveras"The Skulls.
" They always placed these with their victims.
What is an Argentine death squad doing in Miami? I wondered that myself.
Then I came across this human rights data base that listed their suspected members.
Mariano Cuchillo.
Look familiar? The guy Yves was impersonating.
- You figure he killed Morales? - Dollars to donuts.
But it goes deeper, because Cuchillo works for this guy.
[Byers.]
"Leonardo Santavos Voted one of Dade County's top five businessmen of the year.
" Millionaire, philanthropist, Argentine native.
- His credentials are impeccable.
- [Langly.]
Not to the F.
B.
I.
They have him under surveillance as we speak.
He's a suspected smuggler with international connections.
And he's smart.
They've never been able to nail the dude.
I told you Yves was onto something big whatever it is.
Our problem is how to get close to this guy Santavos because as it stands, we gotta wait in line behind the feds.
[Byers.]
Maybe not.
Our Mr.
Santavos is a tango dancer.
Apparently he's very good.
He's entered competitions all over the world.
[Frohike.]
So what? [Byers.]
So I think I know how we can get close to him.
[Langly.]
If Yves doesn't get to him first.
Verah.
Thank you for coming.
You have a lovely home.
More so now.
Señor Santavos, the phone for you.
Pardon me for a moment, hmm? Please, make yourself at home.
I feel pathetic skulking around like this.
I see no dishonor in caution.
But why this one? I see something in her that's special.
[Santavos Over Device.]
I feel like I can see in her.
What I see is that she's taking your mind off business.
Not at all.
Our man is on the plane and everything is set for Saturday.
[Cuchillo.]
We still have loose ends the blonde woman on the boat.
You will find her.
I have faith.
I'm going back to my guest.
A tango contest? Seriously? Santavos won it last year.
We're not actually gonna dance but signing up for it is a perfect way to get near the man.
Don't you agree? You coming? You three have it covered.
I'm gonna stay and watch the van.
What's going on, Frohike? You You never know in a neighborhood like this.
Guys, it looks like somebody else had this idea before we did.
Check out the name of Santavos's dance partner.
Oh, man.
"Verah Alyse Ledow.
" Sure enough, 15 letters.
- What? - Yves Adele Harlow.
Man, one day that girl's gonna run out of anagrams for Lee Harvey Oswald.
But four can play at that game.
Excuse me.
What do you think you're doing? Um, we're signing up for the tango competition.
First-time applicants must qualify.
How do we do that? [Screaming.]
I thought we were pretty good.
And front.
Ochos.
That's good.
Now turn.
Hand.
Now step to the right, to the side.
Forward.
Across.
[Continues, Indistinct.]
Step.
Step.
Thank you.
Cuchillo, what is it? That woman she appeared just as you needed a new tango partner.
What a coincidence.
What are you talking about? Why did you need a new partner? Because Carlotta's feet blew up like two grapefruit.
How could she possibly dance? Ah, this bites the big Dagwood Hoagie.
I can't believe Yves is gonna rip the rug out from under us again.
Let's face it.
She's good.
But we're better than her.
[Frohike.]
Look I see this as a sign.
We should just pull our stakes up and [Blows.]
go home.
Frohike, what is it about you and Miami? Why are you so uncomfortable here? - [Sighs.]
- [Knocking.]
- That could be Yves.
- I hope it is.
Hola, amigos.
¿Cómo está usted? Sorry.
I think you've got the wrong room.
Jimmy, this is Kimmy, an associate of ours.
He's a fellow computer expert.
Don't sugarcoat it, Byers.
"Hacker extraordinaire" is the term that comes to mind.
The keeper of the mojo.
What the hell are you doing here? What, Courtney Love didn't tell you? He e-mailed me.
Said you needed some help tracking info - on one Leonardo Santavos.
- You what? Kimmy, I said I needed a consultation, not for you to come to Miami.
Well, it's like this.
See, I have information you need so in the capitalistic traditions of our great nation it's time to talk about me getting paid.
Hit the road, Shlomo.
Suit yourselves but this finger here can unlock all those D.
O.
D.
secrets you crave.
Ten percent of any reward money we collect.
[Martial Arts Sounds.]
[Sounds Continue.]
[Beeping.]
- Missile defense? - Or lack thereof.
[Kimmy.]
Apparently the D.
O.
D.
has a new composite that can absorb electromagnetic transmissionsas in it's completely invisible to radar.
Wow.
Way to go, America.
Yeah, but if the bad guys get their hands on it we're talking Romulan cloaking device.
Tanks, ships, I.
C.
B.
M.
's Saddam Hussein could build a Cessna out of this stuff and fly it right into the White House.
What does all of that have to do with Santavos? It's what he's smuggling.
A sample would be worth millions to a foreign power.
Hell, yeah, and he wouldn't need that much either, just enough to analyze.
And we can't get near this guy because none of us can dance the freakin'tango.
We can't get in that contest.
I can get into the contest.
Good morning.
I'd like to have a look in your bag, if I may.
May I see? Is there a particular reason? There's a small spray bottle, an atomizer.
Mm.
What is this, Verah? - Perfume.
- Really? Put it on.
Please.
It's your scent.
Very lovely.
Keep it.
Remember me by it.
Don't go.
Please.
What exactly is going on here for you to be rifling through a woman's belongings? My mistake, and mine alone.
I apologize.
[Santavos.]
Verah a man in my position must be very careful.
I have many enemies.
All I want is for you to stay and dance with me.
[Speaking Spanish.]
(music) [Tango.]
I'm sorry for this morning.
We don't need to discuss it any further.
It's over.
I'm sorry because I sense how difficult it is to gain your trust.
You must have been hurt by a man before.
That isn't a stretch.
Is there a woman alive who hasn't been hurt by a man before? You hide it well.
You hide your loneliness.
You would rather be lonely and alone than to be hurt again.
I understand those feelings.
I know them all too well.
I enjoy our time together.
I don't want it to end.
I find myself thinking "What will happen after the competition? What does the future hold for us?" Once again.
[Langly.]
Yeah, look at Mata Hari in there.
Man, she knows just how to work him, huh? Reeling him in like a fish on a hook.
Faking him out.
I don't think she's faking.
Come on.
[Langly.]
Psst! Tiny Dancer.
You complete and utter fools, get out of here now! Well, aren't you in the thick of things? My foot will be in the thick of your behind if you don't leave.
Fair warning Santavos is going down.
We're onto him.
We're gonna nail his rumba, tango butt to the wall and if you stick around, you're going down with him.
Come on, Jimmy.
Yves, we just don't want to see you get hurt.
Buenas noches, señorita.
[Groaning.]
Yves, I'm sorry.
I didn't Not a single thought goes into any of your actions, does it? You completely compromised my position.
Cuchillo will kill me.
If I go to them, I'm dead and you'll be next, Langly.
They're looking for a blonde woman who disrupted the trade with Morales.
If Cuchillo saw you tonight, he's surely mistaken you for a man this time.
I guess we'll just have to take our findings to the cops and hope they can stop the deal.
You don't get it, do you? The deal's already been stopped.
The exchange is supposed to happen tonight at the dance competition.
Out in the open? How? I'm not sure.
That's why I had to be there.
But now, since I can't show my face Santavos, he has no partner.
And if he doesn't dance, the deal will happen somewhere else.
We'll never get another chance like this again.
Yves, you have to be at this dance tonight, along with the rest of us.
First we have to make sure Santavos trusts you and I think I know how we can do that.
Absolutely no video cameras.
But we're doing a documentary on the competition.
We have to be in here.
Sir, this is the great El Lobo the Michael Jordan of the tango.
Please, don't deny the world.
Come on.
Verah, I didn't think you would come.
I wish you hadn't.
I understand.
You think I betrayed you, Leonardo, because I was with those men.
I haven't and I'll prove it.
I'll use it to kill the blond man Cuchillo saw me with.
He and the others who are they? Newspapermen.
The blond one interrupted your business on the dock.
He wants me to betray you.
I thought I would at first.
What changed your mind? Prove it.
- Kill the reporter.
- Cuchillo.
But not with the gun.
You will use this.
[Kimmy.]
You know, this is the 21 st century.
Where'd you dig up this ancient stoneware? This is state-of-the-art face recognition, you ninny.
They use it at the Super Bowl to scope out terrorists in a crowd of 70,000.
Of course, I made some improvements to the end-user interface.
Keep the camera moving, Jimmy.
- [Over Earpiece.]
Grab every face in the joint.
- The buyer has to be here.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 36th annual Florida State Tango Competition.
Now entering the floor contestants number one Nicolas von Getz and Miss Nita Leon.
(music) [Tango.]
That's your cue.
[Groans.]
(music) [Ends.]
(music) [Ends.]
And now, last year's champion Leonardo Santavos and his partner Miss Verah Ledow.
(music) [Flamenco Guitar Intro.]
(music) [Tango.]
- Anything yet, Kimmy? - [Kimmy.]
Got a big goose egg.
Wait a minute.
[Over Earpiece.]
Please tell me you're rolling tape on this.
Ladies and gentlemen, El Lobo and Miss Niquita Maldenado.
[Cheers, Applause.]
(music) [Tango.]
[Laughter.]
This tape is gonna be priceless, man.
Hey, JackJerry, whatever your name is.
Get that camera back on Frohike.
- Come - [Computer Beeps.]
Wait a minute.
We got a hit here.
Matching.
Matching.
Guys, I'm looking at a known Libyan arms smuggler who loves to cut a rug.
Where? Who? Couple number one the guy.
Frohike, Santavos is going to make the trade with couple number one.
[Screaming.]
[Screaming.]
(music) [Tango.]
They just got tapped out.
They're out of the competition.
What happened? Did we miss the exchange? He took CD number 11.
He's number one.
The CD Frohike, the radar composite is in the CD.
Get that CD.
[Gasps.]
- (music) [Ends.]
- [Applause.]
[Woman Screams.]
[Screams, Shouts.]
[Weeping.]
[Radio Chatter.]
Adiós, mi amigo.
The return of El Lobo.
[Sighs.]
And the retirement of El Lobo.
The sexual energy burned during this dance took two years off my life.
That's why I quit in the first place.
How's she holding up? Aw, she's fine.
So what's our cut of the reward money? There is no reward money.
There never was, apparently.
At least, that's what the F.
B.
I.
just told us.
Say what? What'd she do this for then? Because it was the right thing to do.
- You have got to be kidding me! - I suppose I should say something Thank her for not wigging out and stabbing me for real.
Later.
(music) [Flamenco Guitar Intro.]
(music) [Tango.]
[Child.]
I made this!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode