Gordon's Great Escape (2010) s02e04 Episode Script
Thailand
1 GORDON RAMSAY: I'm on a great escape.
Shit! I'm pumping the brakes.
(Crash!) I'm getting away from it all.
How are you? And I'm back to doing what I love best.
It's a fried spider.
I've been cooking now for 25 years and I still get so excited about being taught something unique, something new.
My appetite for culinary adventure has taken me country-hopping around South-East Asia.
Home to some of the world's best cuisines.
That is amazing.
It's been a journey way off my gastronomic map.
What the fuck is that? It's the part of the cow.
A bull's penis? Yeah.
I'm ending my education in Thailand.
This nation's food is fast becoming a British favourite.
What do I know? Pad thai.
That's where it stops.
I'm a complete beginner.
I don't think they know who I am.
They don't watch telly.
She does not trust me with her sausage.
But Thailand's superstar chef wants to do battle.
Ready, steady, cook! If I'm going down, I'll go down in style.
I've just landed in the capital, Bangkok, and I'm straight off the plane and ready for my first taste of Thailand.
There's food everywhere.
Every inch of these pavements.
Food after food after food after food.
Thai's Britain's fastest-growing cuisine, and I can't wait to get to grips with it.
I know how to make a pad thai, but that's about the extent of my Thai cuisine repertoire.
There's better than just pad thai here.
I've got my work cut out, just one week to master authentic Thai food, so I've asked one of Thailand's top chefs to help me on my way.
Now, there's one unique individual called Chef McDang, I can't wait to get started.
I've agreed to meet celebrity chef McDang for dinner.
First off, right.
Enter market between squid and flower stall.
Look at the place.
Not at a fancy restaurant.
He asked me to meet him at his favourite street food stall in Bangkok to educate me in authentic Thai cooking.
Looking for a Chef McDang.
No? He's given me a map, but it's a foreign language to me.
Nightmare.
But I know a star when I see one.
Ah.
Ah! Ah.
I could spot you a mile away.
How are you.
Hello, Gordon Ramsay.
Good to see you.
Nice to meet you.
How are you? Very well indeed.
I'm so excited to be here.
This place is basically Amazing.
Amazing, and this is one of my favourite stalls.
Hello.
This is Mr Whiskers.
Mr Whiskers.
Right.
And the most popular dish would be pad thai.
No! Oh, Jesus.
You are crazy! OK, why not? Absolutely boring.
Is it? Yeah.
Because every westerner says, 'Oh, Thai food - pad thai.
' OK.
Bull.
Why don't you try something that we consider that .
.
like the Thai hamburger, a one-plate dish that we always eat.
I'd love to.
This is called pad ka pow.
Pad ka pow.
Take me through it, please.
(Speaks Thai) Thank you.
So, chicken going in.
And he puts the chicken in there Cooking the Thai way looks simple, but there are strict principles I need to master.
Give me the secret behind good Thai cuisine.
It's a balance of tastes.
Taste.
Saltiness, sweetness and sourness.
But you cannot cook Thai food without a paste.
Without a paste.
Saltiness, sweetness, sourness in a paste is the bedrock of Thai food, with different ingredients used to deliver the essential flavours.
What's that one there? He just put in fish sauce Fish sauce.
And then oyster sauce.
But the oyster sauce has sweetness in it.
And what is that? That's the This is the holy basil.
Amazing.
I mean, it smells incredible.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I do this? Break that.
You've just stuck, yeah, a crispy fried egg on top of my delicious pad ka pow.
Why are you frying an egg on top of this amazing food? Why? I know.
But this is how we eat it.
Mm.
It combines all the flavours together.
See, that's delicious.
It works.
Mm.
My first taste of authentic Thai food has impressed me.
It's bursting with flavour, and McDang has got more to show me.
Do you know I have a television show? I heard.
And it's on, what, once a year? Give me a break! We do every week.
52 weeks a year.
So you have more experience than me on television? Right.
You see, everybody in Thailand knows who I am.
Would you consider coming on my show? What, on your show, live, so you can mince me? I am not going to mince you.
We could telephone and talk to each other, what we are going to do.
OK, you're on.
You're on.
OK? One big question.
Yes? I'm a real chef.
Are you a TV chef or a real chef? I'm a real chef, because I went to school first.
We'll find out next week.
(Both laugh) OK, now it's too much.
I thought he was a bit of a joker to begin with, but he's actually quite serious and he knows his shit.
And I'm a Thai cooking novice with just one week to reach McDang's standards or face a very public humiliation.
OK.
Out, turn left.
Taxi! Who would have thought 20 years ago we'd have good old-fashioned English pubs serving Thai food? Love it.
Absolutely adore it.
I want to learn how Thai people cook their recipes.
I'm heading north.
Renowned for hot and aromatic dishes, it's the perfect place to learn to cook Thailand's famous spicy food.
Yui? Yes.
Hi, darling, how are you? Very well.
Sawadee ka.
Good to see you.
My key to the north is Yui.
She runs a famous cookery school here, and she's the oracle on this region's dishes.
So where are we going now? I'm taking you to the house of the lady who makes a very good sausage.
It's a northern Thai sausage.
It's called sai oua.
Sai oua.
Mrs Arat has been selling a spicy sausage from her doorstep for the past 20 years.
Hello.
This is Arat.
Mrs Arat.
Mrs Arat.
I call her Pa Arat.
Pa Arat.
Pa Arat's auntie.
Auntie Arat.
Pleasure meeting you.
And these are them.
Yeah, that's it.
Wow! And this is where she makes her sausages.
Yeah.
The legendary sausages.
I'd love to taste them.
OK, taste.
(Coughs) Spicy.
(Laughs) Very spicy.
It's a spicy sausage, yeah.
Very good.
Very good indeed.
Delicious.
She's definitely the sausage queen.
They're hot.
They're as hot as a furnace, but the flavour is incredible.
I want to know Mrs Arat's secret.
When is she making the next batch? I would love for you to show me how to make these.
She does not look very happy.
She wants me to dance with her? She wants me to dance? No.
My God, I thought Delia was hard.
(Speaks Thai) And you're going to sell it in your country? No, I wouldn't sell her sausages at home.
My God, no, no, no, no.
I'd be shot if they were that spicy.
Deal? Yeah? We're going to make a sausage.
Let's go.
After our intense negotiations, Mrs Arat reveals a secret.
A grinder in her backyard where she makes a spicy paste.
Right, where do we start? Plug on.
Ooh! Like starting up my dad's car.
Chillies in.
All those chillies? She's using hundreds of powerful Thai chillies.
All those chillies? You sure? Yeah.
Whew! She adds in shallots and garlic.
So she's not weighing anything out? No? And then to give it that distinctive flavour, she adds classic Thai herbs.
That's just sliced lemongrass, yeah? More turmeric? All of that.
All of that? So the turmeric's giving it that really nice vibrant colour.
And that's the minced pork? Just squeeze and mix it.
Squeeze and mix.
That's all the ingredients ground and mixed.
Now for the tricky part.
It's the intestine, yeah.
Oh, Jesus Christ! (Laughter) OK.
Right.
(Laughter) I'm so glad you're happy! You have to finish all yourself.
It's fiddly work, and Mrs Arat thinks her apprentice needs more practice.
OK.
(Laughs) (Laughter) You can hear her in the background laughing.
(Laughs) (Speaks Thai) She hasn't gone.
She's still keeping an eye on me.
She does not trust me with her sausage.
It's an art, and she's got it off to a tee.
I'm calling it a night.
I've got to wash my hands.
They're burning.
But Mrs Arat wants a favour in return for her recipe.
She wants my help catering for a special house party.
Tomorrow you have to come and help her.
They're going to have the house blessing tomorrow morning.
She'll be very upset if tomorrow you don't come and help her, because she already gave you her recipe.
Trust me, yeah? I will definitely be here tomorrow morning, on time, to help her.
OK? Goodnight.
Forget the kiss.
Maybe tomorrow.
Let's go.
I've got one evening in Chiang Mai, and I'm determined to make the most of it.
That's done.
Saturday night.
Where's the best place to go now? I would say go to the boxing.
(Yelling) Boxing is Thailand's most famous sport, and Chiang Mai's downtown stadium attracts large crowds of locals and tourists, especially for Saturday's big fight.
Jesus Christ.
Two girls boxing.
It draws a huge crowd.
I love boxing, but this is a different level.
Ooh, God.
The women in the ring aren't the only surprise of the night.
You want something? Yes, please.
I'll have a, er, just a a beer.
Jesus.
There are ladyboys serving the drinks.
They have the most amazing legs.
I never thought I'd say that about a guy.
This place is crazy.
I mean, absolutely crazy.
Two beers in, and I'm beginning to mix up who's Arthur and who's Martha.
Can I have another beer, please? One more? I was going to say 'darling' then, but 'sir'.
And just when I thought the night couldn't get any stranger VILLAGE PEOPLE: YMCA They're not serious, are they? This place is absolutely fucking mental.
Crazy.
My God.
Guys, fucking hell.
(Laughter) Sit down and watch the fight.
Come on! It's time for this not-so-young man to go to bed.
GORDON: YMCA.
Next morning, and I'm up at dawn to report for duty with the sausage queen.
Morning.
Good morning.
Sawadee ka.
Like most of Thailand, Mrs Arat is a Buddhist.
Today she's preparing a feast for a traditional house blessing given by monks from the local temple.
We take that down there? Yeah, down there.
Mrs Arat puts me straight to work making the centrepiece of the feast, a classic spicy pork curry called hung lay.
What's that in there? Chilli? Lemongrass, turmeric, shallots and chilli.
What's that there? Hung ley curry powder.
Curry powder? Yes.
And just paste.
Just paste.
Mrs Arat's recipe starts with the same foundation as nearly every authentic Thai dish.
That's the secret there.
A really good curry paste.
It seems to be the start of everything.
Ready? Oil in first? This is an important recipe to add to my Thai repertoire.
Ah! (Laughter) (Mrs Arat speaks Thai) A cheap but tasty cut of pork goes in.
(Laughs) She's happy this morning.
OK.
Then cane sugar, dark soy and a touch of tamarind.
Whether Mrs Arat likes it or not, I'm determined to learn every bit of this recipe.
Excuse me, sweet pea, we said no secrets.
You just snuck the ginger in there.
You've got to tell me, so I can follow this.
Errr Errr! We promised, no secrets.
Errr.
Ah.
Ah.
(They speak Thai) She says you're going to steal her recipes.
I'm not going to steal them.
How is it? But Mrs Arat's recipe is a great inspiration.
Uhhh.
Delicious.
It's really nice.
It's rich, sweet, sour.
It's very fragrant as well.
And they've got a real cheap cut of pork in there, but it's just starting to melt.
Absolutely delicious.
The guests of honour have arrived to bless the house.
They take all the bad spirit out of the house.
Yes, out.
Because we would like to live with a peaceful happiness.
Am I allowed up? Yeah, you are.
You are.
(Monks chant) It's fascinating, and a real privilege to be here.
But I can't sit around enjoying myself.
I've got work to do.
(Whispers) That's very serious in there.
Fascinating, and a complete eye-opener.
Arat started nudging me, and telling me to get back downstairs.
Time to finish off the dish.
You don't argue with her, that's for sure.
These monks survive solely on food they're given.
But I wonder if they'll approve of my donation.
(All speak Thai) The monk says it's delicious.
It's a great privilege for me to be here and to be given the chance to cook for them.
I don't think they know who I am.
They don't watch telly.
(Speaks Thai) Which program showing? Kitchen Nightmares.
Kitchen Nightmare.
(Monk speaks Thai) The monks asked about dessert.
About Dessert.
Dessert? They want dessert? Oh, no, we didn't prepare that.
This seemed like a good moment to make a great escape.
(Mrs Arat speaks Thai) What was that? Don't forget her.
I will not forget.
Keep in touch and come back and visit her.
OK.
Thank you.
Can I hug now? Yeah, yeah.
Put your arm around there and the other one round there.
That's it.
And squeeze tight.
And squeeze.
See? It wasn't that bad.
Good to see you.
Mwah! Mwah! Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Delicious.
Excellent.
Goodbye! Unbelievable.
Up north has been amazing.
What I'm discovering are new textures, new fragrant flavours like I've never had before.
Which is refreshing.
And the interesting thing for me is that there's so much more to Thai curries than just a red and a green, and it all starts with that amazing paste.
I've only been here a few days, but I'm loving learning to cook this wonderful food, and I'm picking it up fast.
I think taking on Chef McDang at the end of the week is going to be fun.
Hello? Chef McDang! Hey, Gordon, how are you doing? I'm very well indeed, thank you.
I've had the most amazing time so far.
I'm very confident, and I can't wait to see you in Bangkok.
But rather than just cook five or six dishes together and sort of take it lighthearted, I want to I heard it through the grapevine that you want a competition.
You're on, buddy.
Are you going to say yes? Let's go head to head.
You do three dishes and I'll do three dishes.
That's fine.
You sure? I'll just do my own shit.
(Laughs) You cheeky monkey.
Bye! Take care.
Bye-bye now.
Bye-bye.
Fucking hell, he's confident, isn't he? Huh? He is really confident.
Now the heat is really on.
I must be mad to take on Thailand's no.
1 chef at his own game.
I need to be at my best, and the house blessing has given me an idea.
I've heard that meditation can focus the mind, and the Buddhist monks are the experts.
I've wangled an audience with Phra Achan, the meditation guru at a local temple.
How old are you? You're 38.
You look 28.
How old do you think I am? Um, 50, maybe? (Laughs) Shit.
No, I'm 43.
I've just had a tough life.
What was the turning point for you, when you wanted to be a monk? I've seen the world, I've been to places, but then the one place that I haven't looked at yet is my mind.
I have a bad reputation for getting angry and somewhat frustrated.
Is there any form of meditation that can help? Insight meditation would be perfect for you.
Really? Is it an easy thing to teach, to meditate? It takes time, but then it's good to start .
.
to get to a start somewhere.
It's never too late, even at the age of 50 stroke 43.
(Laughs) Most Buddhist men in Thailand will train as a monk at some point in their life.
It can be for three months or a lifelong commitment.
Meditation is a big part of what they learn.
Some do it for 14 hours a day.
I'm going to try it for 20 minutes.
(Whispers) It's so quiet in here.
Standing.
Standing.
Standing.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
We start with walking meditation.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
Right stepping.
Turning.
Apparently, focusing on the movement will free up my mind.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
Right Right stepping.
BOTH: Left stepping.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
(Timer beeps) I found it harder to concentrate because everything was just so slow.
I felt lazy.
OK, just acknowledge it.
Lazy.
Lazy.
Lazy.
And then it felt awkward, awkward, awkward, walking so slowly.
Everyone is like this in the beginning.
A lot of boredom, a lot of laziness, but that's normal.
OK, I'm going to set the timer to ten minutes, and see how it goes after ten minutes.
Mm-hm.
OK.
Eyes closed? Eyes closed.
Now the big challenge.
Sitting still for ten whole minutes.
I'm supposed to acknowledge any thoughts that come into my mind.
Naughty thoughts? Thinking, thinking, thinking.
Food critics.
Pardon me? Food critics.
Food critics.
Thinking, thinking, thinking.
(Timer beeps) So Gordon, how did it go? See, now I feel twice as bad.
How come? 'Cause I feel like I've wasted 20 minutes.
How did you manage to do that for 14 hours a day? You have to like what you do.
You have to see the value in what you do.
Thank you.
I have to get up now, because my bum is numb.
Excuse me.
I'm grateful for the lesson, but I think it's time to make a fast getaway.
Take care.
You too.
Thank you.
Right.
You've locked me in.
(Laughs) Where's the bar? Maybe he puts too much pressure on himself, on himself sometimes.
If he practised well enough, then he would be the boss of his emotions.
That was a lot more difficult than it looked, meditating.
You can switch off quite easily.
Five minutes, fine.
Ten minutes, no.
An hour, no.
14 hours, definitely not.
But you never know.
Later on in life, as the old grey hairs start appearing, yeah, maybe.
But right now, I still prefer going for a run.
The north of Thailand has been quite an eye-opener.
I may not have achieved spiritual enlightenment, but I do feel I'm on the road to culinary nirvana.
We've got a great level of Thai food in the UK, no two ways about that.
But it's nowhere near as spicy as it is over here.
In a way it's dumbed down to suit the British palate, which is a great shame.
I've learned some of the secrets of authentic spicy Thai curry, and now I want to master southern Thai seafood.
I'm heading 1,200km south to the Krabi coast, where they serve some of the best in the world.
Today, it's the annual food festival.
I'm hitching a ride with a crack squad of local home cooks who have high hopes of winning top prize in today's fish paste competition.
Hello! How are you? Nice to see you.
Hello! (All talk at once) Your first name, sweet? Soh.
Soh.
Tu.
Nam.
Nam.
So it goes pitch, pitch, high pitch, deep voice.
OK, here we go.
The home cooks are Thailand's answer to the Women's Institute, but they have an open door policy.
Will there be any other guys there cooking, or will I be the only guy? Only you.
Only me? Yes.
And what? (Laughter) Fish paste is the bedrock of Thai seafood dishes, and is an important part of my education.
Who's the expert here? Mamma.
Mamma.
Yes.
Mwah.
(Laughter) I love you.
The queen of the fish paste.
Amazing, amazing, amazing.
OK, let's go.
The festival is like the Krabi food Olympics with lots of incredible categories.
It's a rice-pounding competition.
The youngest entrant's 94.
Amazing! Can I have a quick look? Thank you.
Thank you.
Amazing.
Look.
Look at that.
Immaculate.
There's some very serious competition going on here.
The sad news is, we're up next.
Damn.
It's time for the main event.
Are we ready? Very serious.
Yes.
Oh, my God! Oh, please! I feel like Don't worry about that.
Yeah.
I feel like I've got suspenders on.
Nam is trying to make me look as pretty as he is.
Head chef.
Or pretty stupid.
(Laughs) OK, we can drop the hat.
(MC speaks Thai) Alright, what's Mamma doing first? I want to learn how to make my own paste, so the group has split in two.
Team Mamma in one corner and Team Ramsay in the other.
Excellent, thank you.
Garlic in, yes? Yes, yes.
OK.
I'm relying upon my teammates for the recipe.
So far, we've got the garlic, that young fragrant garlic.
Turmeric.
Look at it.
Beautiful.
OK.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Next, the star ingredient - fish guts.
So that's fish kidneys and livers fermented for two weeks, right? For two weeks.
Mixed with salt.
The spicy paste goes in, and then some dried fish to strengthen the flavour.
The recipe is uncomplicated and very straightforward.
But the secret is, is getting the balance right.
I'm going to check out the competition.
Little taste? Very good.
Very spicy.
(Coughs) (Speaks Thai) My God, that's spicy! Thank you very much.
Oh, my God! Arggh! Arggh! Time to find out what they think of mine.
Taste it.
Yeah? The face doesn't look very happy.
Salty? Really? She said, 'Better put in the tamarind juice to fix the taste.
' I think I need Mamma's expert opinion.
What does that mean? Salty? Damn, damn, damn.
Your mum's is not that salty.
Your mum's got that sort of rich texture there, huh? Mamma's is, yeah, amazing.
It's got a nice sort of salty, sweet, sour flavour.
Ours instantly is too salty.
Well, Mamma's in with a good chance even if I'm not.
The judges have called time.
Hello, ladies.
Lucky no.
9.
It's slightly salty, but it's got the backup with the sweetness as well.
Please don't look confused.
Look happy.
I'm very happy to be here.
Good luck.
It's out of my hands.
Now we wait for the judges to deliver the verdict.
(MC speaks Thai) Team Ramsay? Team Ramsay.
(Laughs) (MC speaks Thai) Ohhh! Ohhh! I hate losing.
(Pretends to cry) It's not just me.
Sadly, Team Mamma have been pipped to the post as well.
Next year Come again? First, and we'll take second, OK? Well done, OK? Thank you.
Mwah! Bye-bye.
Bye! This must be some of the stress-free cooking I've ever been involved in, because everyone's having fun, relaxed, and they're so generous with their offerings in terms of the knowledge.
The most important thing is (Laughs) I have the winning recipe.
Now I just have to put that into practice and kick McDang's butt.
Unbelievable.
Time for a beer.
A big one.
The next morning, I'm back on the road.
Soon I will pit my skills against Thailand's most celebrated chef.
The final dish for me to learn is Thai seafood soup.
But before I make it, I need to catch the key ingredient.
I love fishing.
I grew up fishing.
Especially on the River Tay up in Scotland.
Didn't catch much.
However, just that excitement, that little bit of magic, that little bit of adrenaline - what's under the water, what am I going to catch? The south has 3,000km of coastline and backwaters, making it the best place to go fishing in Thailand.
I'm hooking up with one of the most experienced fishermen in the region, Saht.
Morning, how are you? Good to see you.
What is that thing there? It's a harpoon.
May I have a quick look, please? Look at that.
My gosh.
Look at it.
That's incredible.
So that's the fish, but They look amazing.
Look at the size of them, the oyster shells.
(Laughs) It's like a paving stone.
(Laughs) My God! Look at it! Unbelievable.
What does an oyster this size taste of? You should try and catch it yourself, and then you taste it, and then you know what it tastes like.
That big! Ready? Let's go.
This looks amazing.
This is beautiful.
We're fishing for super-size oysters on the beds of these backwaters, but Saht expects they'll put up a fight.
What in the hell is that for? It gets better.
And a chisel.
Yeah.
Where (Speaks Thai) You use this side.
That one there.
Thank you.
And for what? For oyster.
For oysters.
How deep down are we going? 3m maximum.
3m? OK, great.
Ready? The trip to the oyster hotspot is heavenly.
No crowds, no stress, just beautiful countryside.
What is that? An eagle? Wow.
Saht eventually stops in what looks like the middle of nowhere.
But this is the spot where he makes his biggest catches.
But I can't see a thing.
Visibility is really bad.
Is Saht capable of getting anything here? The tide's high and the water's murky.
Are there any snakes here? No.
No snake.
As we continue to dive down, things eventually become clearer.
I spotted it.
I can't get it off the rock.
With Saht's help, I try to knock it off the rocks.
But I run out of breath.
Shit.
I can't believe you're taking an axe to a bloody oyster.
OK.
(Gasps) Whoo! Oh, shit.
I'm seriously chuffed.
It's in perfect condition.
I haven't cracked the shell.
And I've never gone down diving for oysters, let alone with a chisel and an axe.
While I'm admiring my oyster, Saht's making quick work of the rest of them.
Wow! That will be incredible.
That is beautiful.
Can we open that now? Yeah? No.
That looks incredible.
That looks amazing.
Do you mind? Yeah? How was it? Mm.
I didn't think it would be that firm.
It was almost like it was cooked, but it was clearly raw.
But you know when oysters get that firmness when they've been lightly poached - incredibly meaty but very, very sweet.
I'm dying to see how Saht and his friend is going to cook these.
Back at the village, Saht has invited over a great local cook called Ya.
Sawadee kap.
Madam.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
She's going to show me the Thai way to serve oysters and an amazing fish soup.
So what are we going to make? You would like to make tom sum first? Tom sum, yeah, lovely.
A classic.
Normally we break, bang-bang.
Bang-bang.
Mm, you hit them.
Yes.
See? Yes.
That smells amazing.
Amazing.
That's right, we have to bang.
Break, yeah? There's no need for knife skills with Ya's tom sum soup.
Into the pot? Yeah, in the pot.
The lemongrass, onions and turmeric will form the classic Thai aromatic stock.
So that's just plain water in there? Plain water.
She then adds some fresh local fish.
Heads in.
Fish sauce.
Yes.
BOTH: One, two, three, four, five Whoa, enough.
Sugar, a little bit.
Sugar.
Sugar? Yeah.
And then this one.
And finally, an essential southern sour ingredient, palm vinegar.
About three spoon.
Three spoons.
Food from here all sour and spicy.
So that's the main characteristics of the southern Thai cuisine.
Yes.
Hot and sour.
The final part of the fishy feast is a delicious dipping sauce for oysters.
Bang-bang until smooth together, yeah? Bang-bang until smooth together.
Yeah.
It starts with a paste - of course - made of garlic, coriander, root chilli and salt.
Sugar as well.
Half spoon, yeah? Half spoon of sugar.
More bang-bang.
Garlic.
Chilli.
Garlic.
Chilli.
Salt, sugar.
Salt, sugar.
Then limes and fish sauce.
And that's the dipping sauce done.
Yeah? Not hot at all.
Need more chilli, little bit? (Coughs) Yeah? No, no more chilli.
I can't wait to taste our efforts.
First up, oysters and dipping sauce.
Mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
That is delicious.
Really nice.
Yeah.
Really good.
And finally, the fish soup.
Tom sum soup, delicious.
Really fragrant.
Mm! Very, very nice.
Thank you so much.
Those oysters were delicious.
Thank you.
I'll be sad to leave this laid-back paradise, but I've learnt all I can.
Time to put it into practice.
It was phenomenal.
No dried ingredients anywhere.
All fresh ingredients.
Lime leaves, galangal, turmeric, ginger, garlic - delicious.
And then think, back home, we're crying out for healthy, easy food to prepare.
Give me Thai food any day.
One week ago I was a novice.
Tomorrow I put my new skills to the test when I make my Thai TV debut in the battle of the chefs.
It's the day of the cooking competition with McDang and my Thai television debut.
The McDang crew are setting up in a district called Bang Luang, on the outskirts of Bangkok.
A week ago I could only cook a pad thai.
Today, I'm putting my neck on the line and taking on Thailand's top chef.
I've been told to show up on set at 10am on the dot.
Sawadee kap.
Hello.
How are you? I'm good, thank you.
Good to see you.
Good to see you too.
I'm Pai.
Hai.
Hi.
Pai.
I'm Gordon.
Pai.
So where is he? 1:00 he arrives.
That late in the day? What is he like when he arrives on set? What's the first thing he has, a cold towel? He just finds his own place to sit.
Peppermint tea? Yeah, and then make-up, do all that.
Make-up? It's a TV show.
It's a Thailand TV show.
We always do make-up.
What? Oh, bless, look.
'I love Mum.
' And who are the judges? One is McDang's father.
McDang's father.
He's quite famous.
He's like a Thailand Michelin guy.
McDang's father is a famous food critic, and he's going to be judging his son's food against my food.
Yes.
Basically I've got fucking no chance of winning today.
I don't think Gordon's nervous.
Gordon likes competition, damn it! Left foot forward, right foot forward.
Left foot forward, left I'm going to really enjoy doing this, because he's so cocky and I'm really cocky too! (Laughs) It's going to be fun.
It's going to be really, really fun.
Come on, McDang, where are you? Where is he? McDang and I have agreed to cook three dishes each - a soup, a stir-fry and a curry.
They'll be blind tasted.
Lucky for me, McDang's Dad will be joined in the judging by two other top food critics.
Here's here.
He's arrived.
And knowing him, he's probably in make-up or something.
I don't have to win.
I know I already won.
I'm not trained as a Thai chef.
But what I've learned the last week has been phenomenal.
Great insight.
And nothing really posh, which is nice.
But the real scary thing for me today is that it's not just about cooking up against McDang, trying to entertain those food critics.
The whole of Thailand's watching.
Hey, hey, hey, look who's here! (Laughs) How are you? Sawadee kap.
Sawadee kap.
Nice to see you again.
Likewise.
Good to see you too.
What an amazing week! And this team of chefs - who are all these? Those are my staff.
You're joking! I have five of them.
So, do you want to start right away? Er, yes.
OK.
(Speaks Thai) (Applause) Are you ready? I've always wanted to see one of these things.
Oh, come on! Honestly, look, it's not a fucking movie! (Laughter) It's a TV program! He's OK, it's OK.
Pissing my pants.
Action! (Speaks Thai) (Laughs) Chef Gordon Ramsay.
Sawadee You say sawadee kap.
Sawadee kap.
We're going to cook three dishes.
Yes.
By the way, I'm on my Jack Jones as well.
I've got nobody.
He's got an army of people to help him.
(Laughs) Are we ready to go? Yes! Oh, Jesus! OK.
Right.
Good luck, by the way.
Excuse me.
Sorry, can you just say, for me, 'cause I'm feeling homesick, ready, steady, cook.
When you're ready.
Are you ready? Yes.
Ready, steady, cook! OK, excellent.
I'm starting with my version of gang hung lay, the northern pork curry.
First up, the paste.
So garlic, salt, chillies, with lemongrass in there.
Was your paste made? Of course! Oh, come on! No-one in Thailand would have spent all that time doing it.
And it has to come out looking like this.
I know.
I'll taste it for the heat.
See you next week.
See you next week? That's unfair.
It'll take a long time to do it.
Gordon (Speaks Thai) I'm frying off the paste, just like the sausage queen Mrs Arat showed me.
Then the pork goes in, which I've dusted with cinnamon for an extra layer of spice.
Then I'm adding fish sauce for saltiness, cane sugar for sweetness and some dark soy for colour.
You just stuck your fingers in my dish.
Tastes good.
(Laughs) Would you like me to mop up your face for you? You're sweating like crazy.
(Laughs) Can you swim? No! You're gonna throw me down there, aren't you? If you stick your fingers in my fucking wok again, yes! Unbelievable! McDang's army of assistants have done so much prep he's racing ahead with his pork and green banana curry.
Good.
You see, I'm taking this fucking serious.
I know I may be, in the sense of Thailand, I haven't got a hope in hell of winning, but hey, Braveheart.
If I'm going to go down, I'll go down in style.
Brave words when you look at what I'm up against.
What But what Unbelievable.
So I don't do a thing.
I just cook! While my curry's cooking, I really need to bang-bang the spices for my southern-style soup.
Tom sum talay.
Like a really nice fragrant hot and sour soup, but taken from the southern style, with lots of fish, squid, shrimp.
Oysters as well, which is nice, going back to the dive.
Just as I start to get excited about my prospects, there's a hitch with my hung lay curry.
Fuck.
It's just caught at the bottom, so it just tastes a little bit burnt.
Shit.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Shit.
But it's too late to do anything.
McDang's father and the other two judges are here.
My father is probably the most famous man about food in Thailand.
Serious? He knows you! So you are somebody.
Even in Thailand.
The clock's ticking down.
The judges are waiting.
McDang's all done.
I've left my chicken stir-fry to the last minute.
I don't want the chicken to boil.
Put all the veg in now it'll boil.
I want that really nice stir-fry flavour.
I'm finishing it off with a fried quail's egg.
Are you ready? Yes, I am.
Alright.
Our dishes are going to the judges' table.
They won't know whose is who, but they'll decide if I've done enough to win them over and beat McDang.
Thank you very, very much.
Jesus Christ, that was hard.
Harder than I expected.
(Laughs) I'm not sure if I want to know what they're saying about my food.
Do you want to go over there? No, no, no.
Never, never, ever grace the table of a food critic.
It'll always comes back to bite you on the arse.
This, er, good taste.
I like the idea of the small fried egg on top.
Finally the results, delivered course by course.
Action! (Speaks Thai) Judge's verdict.
Soup.
McDang's favourite.
Ohhh! Curry.
Sorry, yes.
Curry.
Gordon's favourite.
Yes! Serious? Seriously? Stir-fry.
No favourite.
It's a draw.
Whoo-hoo! That's amazing! Amazing! Thank you very, very much.
Thank you so much.
(Laughs) Thank you.
Thailand has been the final stop on my South-East Asian odyssey.
I'm thrilled it's ended on a high.
The end result was good.
I was pleased.
I beat him on one dish.
This has been a big eye-opener.
Loved every minute of it.
I've had the adventure of a lifetime.
Is that big enough to eat? Yes.
Fuck! Shit.
I'm pumping the brakes.
(Crash!) If I finish the lot, tell him, I'll fall flat on my face.
(Laughter) Ugh! Errr.
Errr.
We promised no secrets.
This is insane.
I hope this tastes fucking amazing.
Fuck! (Laughter) Any chance of a skinny latte? (Laughs) Come on, the Prime Minister's waiting.
Prime Minister, absolute pleasure.
Mr Gordon Ramsay.
Excellent.
I've learned the secrets to Asia's culinary delights, but now it's time to head home.
I'm a chef, get me to fuck out of the jungle.
Closed Captions by CSI
Shit! I'm pumping the brakes.
(Crash!) I'm getting away from it all.
How are you? And I'm back to doing what I love best.
It's a fried spider.
I've been cooking now for 25 years and I still get so excited about being taught something unique, something new.
My appetite for culinary adventure has taken me country-hopping around South-East Asia.
Home to some of the world's best cuisines.
That is amazing.
It's been a journey way off my gastronomic map.
What the fuck is that? It's the part of the cow.
A bull's penis? Yeah.
I'm ending my education in Thailand.
This nation's food is fast becoming a British favourite.
What do I know? Pad thai.
That's where it stops.
I'm a complete beginner.
I don't think they know who I am.
They don't watch telly.
She does not trust me with her sausage.
But Thailand's superstar chef wants to do battle.
Ready, steady, cook! If I'm going down, I'll go down in style.
I've just landed in the capital, Bangkok, and I'm straight off the plane and ready for my first taste of Thailand.
There's food everywhere.
Every inch of these pavements.
Food after food after food after food.
Thai's Britain's fastest-growing cuisine, and I can't wait to get to grips with it.
I know how to make a pad thai, but that's about the extent of my Thai cuisine repertoire.
There's better than just pad thai here.
I've got my work cut out, just one week to master authentic Thai food, so I've asked one of Thailand's top chefs to help me on my way.
Now, there's one unique individual called Chef McDang, I can't wait to get started.
I've agreed to meet celebrity chef McDang for dinner.
First off, right.
Enter market between squid and flower stall.
Look at the place.
Not at a fancy restaurant.
He asked me to meet him at his favourite street food stall in Bangkok to educate me in authentic Thai cooking.
Looking for a Chef McDang.
No? He's given me a map, but it's a foreign language to me.
Nightmare.
But I know a star when I see one.
Ah.
Ah! Ah.
I could spot you a mile away.
How are you.
Hello, Gordon Ramsay.
Good to see you.
Nice to meet you.
How are you? Very well indeed.
I'm so excited to be here.
This place is basically Amazing.
Amazing, and this is one of my favourite stalls.
Hello.
This is Mr Whiskers.
Mr Whiskers.
Right.
And the most popular dish would be pad thai.
No! Oh, Jesus.
You are crazy! OK, why not? Absolutely boring.
Is it? Yeah.
Because every westerner says, 'Oh, Thai food - pad thai.
' OK.
Bull.
Why don't you try something that we consider that .
.
like the Thai hamburger, a one-plate dish that we always eat.
I'd love to.
This is called pad ka pow.
Pad ka pow.
Take me through it, please.
(Speaks Thai) Thank you.
So, chicken going in.
And he puts the chicken in there Cooking the Thai way looks simple, but there are strict principles I need to master.
Give me the secret behind good Thai cuisine.
It's a balance of tastes.
Taste.
Saltiness, sweetness and sourness.
But you cannot cook Thai food without a paste.
Without a paste.
Saltiness, sweetness, sourness in a paste is the bedrock of Thai food, with different ingredients used to deliver the essential flavours.
What's that one there? He just put in fish sauce Fish sauce.
And then oyster sauce.
But the oyster sauce has sweetness in it.
And what is that? That's the This is the holy basil.
Amazing.
I mean, it smells incredible.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I do this? Break that.
You've just stuck, yeah, a crispy fried egg on top of my delicious pad ka pow.
Why are you frying an egg on top of this amazing food? Why? I know.
But this is how we eat it.
Mm.
It combines all the flavours together.
See, that's delicious.
It works.
Mm.
My first taste of authentic Thai food has impressed me.
It's bursting with flavour, and McDang has got more to show me.
Do you know I have a television show? I heard.
And it's on, what, once a year? Give me a break! We do every week.
52 weeks a year.
So you have more experience than me on television? Right.
You see, everybody in Thailand knows who I am.
Would you consider coming on my show? What, on your show, live, so you can mince me? I am not going to mince you.
We could telephone and talk to each other, what we are going to do.
OK, you're on.
You're on.
OK? One big question.
Yes? I'm a real chef.
Are you a TV chef or a real chef? I'm a real chef, because I went to school first.
We'll find out next week.
(Both laugh) OK, now it's too much.
I thought he was a bit of a joker to begin with, but he's actually quite serious and he knows his shit.
And I'm a Thai cooking novice with just one week to reach McDang's standards or face a very public humiliation.
OK.
Out, turn left.
Taxi! Who would have thought 20 years ago we'd have good old-fashioned English pubs serving Thai food? Love it.
Absolutely adore it.
I want to learn how Thai people cook their recipes.
I'm heading north.
Renowned for hot and aromatic dishes, it's the perfect place to learn to cook Thailand's famous spicy food.
Yui? Yes.
Hi, darling, how are you? Very well.
Sawadee ka.
Good to see you.
My key to the north is Yui.
She runs a famous cookery school here, and she's the oracle on this region's dishes.
So where are we going now? I'm taking you to the house of the lady who makes a very good sausage.
It's a northern Thai sausage.
It's called sai oua.
Sai oua.
Mrs Arat has been selling a spicy sausage from her doorstep for the past 20 years.
Hello.
This is Arat.
Mrs Arat.
Mrs Arat.
I call her Pa Arat.
Pa Arat.
Pa Arat's auntie.
Auntie Arat.
Pleasure meeting you.
And these are them.
Yeah, that's it.
Wow! And this is where she makes her sausages.
Yeah.
The legendary sausages.
I'd love to taste them.
OK, taste.
(Coughs) Spicy.
(Laughs) Very spicy.
It's a spicy sausage, yeah.
Very good.
Very good indeed.
Delicious.
She's definitely the sausage queen.
They're hot.
They're as hot as a furnace, but the flavour is incredible.
I want to know Mrs Arat's secret.
When is she making the next batch? I would love for you to show me how to make these.
She does not look very happy.
She wants me to dance with her? She wants me to dance? No.
My God, I thought Delia was hard.
(Speaks Thai) And you're going to sell it in your country? No, I wouldn't sell her sausages at home.
My God, no, no, no, no.
I'd be shot if they were that spicy.
Deal? Yeah? We're going to make a sausage.
Let's go.
After our intense negotiations, Mrs Arat reveals a secret.
A grinder in her backyard where she makes a spicy paste.
Right, where do we start? Plug on.
Ooh! Like starting up my dad's car.
Chillies in.
All those chillies? She's using hundreds of powerful Thai chillies.
All those chillies? You sure? Yeah.
Whew! She adds in shallots and garlic.
So she's not weighing anything out? No? And then to give it that distinctive flavour, she adds classic Thai herbs.
That's just sliced lemongrass, yeah? More turmeric? All of that.
All of that? So the turmeric's giving it that really nice vibrant colour.
And that's the minced pork? Just squeeze and mix it.
Squeeze and mix.
That's all the ingredients ground and mixed.
Now for the tricky part.
It's the intestine, yeah.
Oh, Jesus Christ! (Laughter) OK.
Right.
(Laughter) I'm so glad you're happy! You have to finish all yourself.
It's fiddly work, and Mrs Arat thinks her apprentice needs more practice.
OK.
(Laughs) (Laughter) You can hear her in the background laughing.
(Laughs) (Speaks Thai) She hasn't gone.
She's still keeping an eye on me.
She does not trust me with her sausage.
It's an art, and she's got it off to a tee.
I'm calling it a night.
I've got to wash my hands.
They're burning.
But Mrs Arat wants a favour in return for her recipe.
She wants my help catering for a special house party.
Tomorrow you have to come and help her.
They're going to have the house blessing tomorrow morning.
She'll be very upset if tomorrow you don't come and help her, because she already gave you her recipe.
Trust me, yeah? I will definitely be here tomorrow morning, on time, to help her.
OK? Goodnight.
Forget the kiss.
Maybe tomorrow.
Let's go.
I've got one evening in Chiang Mai, and I'm determined to make the most of it.
That's done.
Saturday night.
Where's the best place to go now? I would say go to the boxing.
(Yelling) Boxing is Thailand's most famous sport, and Chiang Mai's downtown stadium attracts large crowds of locals and tourists, especially for Saturday's big fight.
Jesus Christ.
Two girls boxing.
It draws a huge crowd.
I love boxing, but this is a different level.
Ooh, God.
The women in the ring aren't the only surprise of the night.
You want something? Yes, please.
I'll have a, er, just a a beer.
Jesus.
There are ladyboys serving the drinks.
They have the most amazing legs.
I never thought I'd say that about a guy.
This place is crazy.
I mean, absolutely crazy.
Two beers in, and I'm beginning to mix up who's Arthur and who's Martha.
Can I have another beer, please? One more? I was going to say 'darling' then, but 'sir'.
And just when I thought the night couldn't get any stranger VILLAGE PEOPLE: YMCA They're not serious, are they? This place is absolutely fucking mental.
Crazy.
My God.
Guys, fucking hell.
(Laughter) Sit down and watch the fight.
Come on! It's time for this not-so-young man to go to bed.
GORDON: YMCA.
Next morning, and I'm up at dawn to report for duty with the sausage queen.
Morning.
Good morning.
Sawadee ka.
Like most of Thailand, Mrs Arat is a Buddhist.
Today she's preparing a feast for a traditional house blessing given by monks from the local temple.
We take that down there? Yeah, down there.
Mrs Arat puts me straight to work making the centrepiece of the feast, a classic spicy pork curry called hung lay.
What's that in there? Chilli? Lemongrass, turmeric, shallots and chilli.
What's that there? Hung ley curry powder.
Curry powder? Yes.
And just paste.
Just paste.
Mrs Arat's recipe starts with the same foundation as nearly every authentic Thai dish.
That's the secret there.
A really good curry paste.
It seems to be the start of everything.
Ready? Oil in first? This is an important recipe to add to my Thai repertoire.
Ah! (Laughter) (Mrs Arat speaks Thai) A cheap but tasty cut of pork goes in.
(Laughs) She's happy this morning.
OK.
Then cane sugar, dark soy and a touch of tamarind.
Whether Mrs Arat likes it or not, I'm determined to learn every bit of this recipe.
Excuse me, sweet pea, we said no secrets.
You just snuck the ginger in there.
You've got to tell me, so I can follow this.
Errr Errr! We promised, no secrets.
Errr.
Ah.
Ah.
(They speak Thai) She says you're going to steal her recipes.
I'm not going to steal them.
How is it? But Mrs Arat's recipe is a great inspiration.
Uhhh.
Delicious.
It's really nice.
It's rich, sweet, sour.
It's very fragrant as well.
And they've got a real cheap cut of pork in there, but it's just starting to melt.
Absolutely delicious.
The guests of honour have arrived to bless the house.
They take all the bad spirit out of the house.
Yes, out.
Because we would like to live with a peaceful happiness.
Am I allowed up? Yeah, you are.
You are.
(Monks chant) It's fascinating, and a real privilege to be here.
But I can't sit around enjoying myself.
I've got work to do.
(Whispers) That's very serious in there.
Fascinating, and a complete eye-opener.
Arat started nudging me, and telling me to get back downstairs.
Time to finish off the dish.
You don't argue with her, that's for sure.
These monks survive solely on food they're given.
But I wonder if they'll approve of my donation.
(All speak Thai) The monk says it's delicious.
It's a great privilege for me to be here and to be given the chance to cook for them.
I don't think they know who I am.
They don't watch telly.
(Speaks Thai) Which program showing? Kitchen Nightmares.
Kitchen Nightmare.
(Monk speaks Thai) The monks asked about dessert.
About Dessert.
Dessert? They want dessert? Oh, no, we didn't prepare that.
This seemed like a good moment to make a great escape.
(Mrs Arat speaks Thai) What was that? Don't forget her.
I will not forget.
Keep in touch and come back and visit her.
OK.
Thank you.
Can I hug now? Yeah, yeah.
Put your arm around there and the other one round there.
That's it.
And squeeze tight.
And squeeze.
See? It wasn't that bad.
Good to see you.
Mwah! Mwah! Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Delicious.
Excellent.
Goodbye! Unbelievable.
Up north has been amazing.
What I'm discovering are new textures, new fragrant flavours like I've never had before.
Which is refreshing.
And the interesting thing for me is that there's so much more to Thai curries than just a red and a green, and it all starts with that amazing paste.
I've only been here a few days, but I'm loving learning to cook this wonderful food, and I'm picking it up fast.
I think taking on Chef McDang at the end of the week is going to be fun.
Hello? Chef McDang! Hey, Gordon, how are you doing? I'm very well indeed, thank you.
I've had the most amazing time so far.
I'm very confident, and I can't wait to see you in Bangkok.
But rather than just cook five or six dishes together and sort of take it lighthearted, I want to I heard it through the grapevine that you want a competition.
You're on, buddy.
Are you going to say yes? Let's go head to head.
You do three dishes and I'll do three dishes.
That's fine.
You sure? I'll just do my own shit.
(Laughs) You cheeky monkey.
Bye! Take care.
Bye-bye now.
Bye-bye.
Fucking hell, he's confident, isn't he? Huh? He is really confident.
Now the heat is really on.
I must be mad to take on Thailand's no.
1 chef at his own game.
I need to be at my best, and the house blessing has given me an idea.
I've heard that meditation can focus the mind, and the Buddhist monks are the experts.
I've wangled an audience with Phra Achan, the meditation guru at a local temple.
How old are you? You're 38.
You look 28.
How old do you think I am? Um, 50, maybe? (Laughs) Shit.
No, I'm 43.
I've just had a tough life.
What was the turning point for you, when you wanted to be a monk? I've seen the world, I've been to places, but then the one place that I haven't looked at yet is my mind.
I have a bad reputation for getting angry and somewhat frustrated.
Is there any form of meditation that can help? Insight meditation would be perfect for you.
Really? Is it an easy thing to teach, to meditate? It takes time, but then it's good to start .
.
to get to a start somewhere.
It's never too late, even at the age of 50 stroke 43.
(Laughs) Most Buddhist men in Thailand will train as a monk at some point in their life.
It can be for three months or a lifelong commitment.
Meditation is a big part of what they learn.
Some do it for 14 hours a day.
I'm going to try it for 20 minutes.
(Whispers) It's so quiet in here.
Standing.
Standing.
Standing.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
We start with walking meditation.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
Right stepping.
Turning.
Apparently, focusing on the movement will free up my mind.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
Right Right stepping.
BOTH: Left stepping.
Right stepping.
Left stepping.
(Timer beeps) I found it harder to concentrate because everything was just so slow.
I felt lazy.
OK, just acknowledge it.
Lazy.
Lazy.
Lazy.
And then it felt awkward, awkward, awkward, walking so slowly.
Everyone is like this in the beginning.
A lot of boredom, a lot of laziness, but that's normal.
OK, I'm going to set the timer to ten minutes, and see how it goes after ten minutes.
Mm-hm.
OK.
Eyes closed? Eyes closed.
Now the big challenge.
Sitting still for ten whole minutes.
I'm supposed to acknowledge any thoughts that come into my mind.
Naughty thoughts? Thinking, thinking, thinking.
Food critics.
Pardon me? Food critics.
Food critics.
Thinking, thinking, thinking.
(Timer beeps) So Gordon, how did it go? See, now I feel twice as bad.
How come? 'Cause I feel like I've wasted 20 minutes.
How did you manage to do that for 14 hours a day? You have to like what you do.
You have to see the value in what you do.
Thank you.
I have to get up now, because my bum is numb.
Excuse me.
I'm grateful for the lesson, but I think it's time to make a fast getaway.
Take care.
You too.
Thank you.
Right.
You've locked me in.
(Laughs) Where's the bar? Maybe he puts too much pressure on himself, on himself sometimes.
If he practised well enough, then he would be the boss of his emotions.
That was a lot more difficult than it looked, meditating.
You can switch off quite easily.
Five minutes, fine.
Ten minutes, no.
An hour, no.
14 hours, definitely not.
But you never know.
Later on in life, as the old grey hairs start appearing, yeah, maybe.
But right now, I still prefer going for a run.
The north of Thailand has been quite an eye-opener.
I may not have achieved spiritual enlightenment, but I do feel I'm on the road to culinary nirvana.
We've got a great level of Thai food in the UK, no two ways about that.
But it's nowhere near as spicy as it is over here.
In a way it's dumbed down to suit the British palate, which is a great shame.
I've learned some of the secrets of authentic spicy Thai curry, and now I want to master southern Thai seafood.
I'm heading 1,200km south to the Krabi coast, where they serve some of the best in the world.
Today, it's the annual food festival.
I'm hitching a ride with a crack squad of local home cooks who have high hopes of winning top prize in today's fish paste competition.
Hello! How are you? Nice to see you.
Hello! (All talk at once) Your first name, sweet? Soh.
Soh.
Tu.
Nam.
Nam.
So it goes pitch, pitch, high pitch, deep voice.
OK, here we go.
The home cooks are Thailand's answer to the Women's Institute, but they have an open door policy.
Will there be any other guys there cooking, or will I be the only guy? Only you.
Only me? Yes.
And what? (Laughter) Fish paste is the bedrock of Thai seafood dishes, and is an important part of my education.
Who's the expert here? Mamma.
Mamma.
Yes.
Mwah.
(Laughter) I love you.
The queen of the fish paste.
Amazing, amazing, amazing.
OK, let's go.
The festival is like the Krabi food Olympics with lots of incredible categories.
It's a rice-pounding competition.
The youngest entrant's 94.
Amazing! Can I have a quick look? Thank you.
Thank you.
Amazing.
Look.
Look at that.
Immaculate.
There's some very serious competition going on here.
The sad news is, we're up next.
Damn.
It's time for the main event.
Are we ready? Very serious.
Yes.
Oh, my God! Oh, please! I feel like Don't worry about that.
Yeah.
I feel like I've got suspenders on.
Nam is trying to make me look as pretty as he is.
Head chef.
Or pretty stupid.
(Laughs) OK, we can drop the hat.
(MC speaks Thai) Alright, what's Mamma doing first? I want to learn how to make my own paste, so the group has split in two.
Team Mamma in one corner and Team Ramsay in the other.
Excellent, thank you.
Garlic in, yes? Yes, yes.
OK.
I'm relying upon my teammates for the recipe.
So far, we've got the garlic, that young fragrant garlic.
Turmeric.
Look at it.
Beautiful.
OK.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Next, the star ingredient - fish guts.
So that's fish kidneys and livers fermented for two weeks, right? For two weeks.
Mixed with salt.
The spicy paste goes in, and then some dried fish to strengthen the flavour.
The recipe is uncomplicated and very straightforward.
But the secret is, is getting the balance right.
I'm going to check out the competition.
Little taste? Very good.
Very spicy.
(Coughs) (Speaks Thai) My God, that's spicy! Thank you very much.
Oh, my God! Arggh! Arggh! Time to find out what they think of mine.
Taste it.
Yeah? The face doesn't look very happy.
Salty? Really? She said, 'Better put in the tamarind juice to fix the taste.
' I think I need Mamma's expert opinion.
What does that mean? Salty? Damn, damn, damn.
Your mum's is not that salty.
Your mum's got that sort of rich texture there, huh? Mamma's is, yeah, amazing.
It's got a nice sort of salty, sweet, sour flavour.
Ours instantly is too salty.
Well, Mamma's in with a good chance even if I'm not.
The judges have called time.
Hello, ladies.
Lucky no.
9.
It's slightly salty, but it's got the backup with the sweetness as well.
Please don't look confused.
Look happy.
I'm very happy to be here.
Good luck.
It's out of my hands.
Now we wait for the judges to deliver the verdict.
(MC speaks Thai) Team Ramsay? Team Ramsay.
(Laughs) (MC speaks Thai) Ohhh! Ohhh! I hate losing.
(Pretends to cry) It's not just me.
Sadly, Team Mamma have been pipped to the post as well.
Next year Come again? First, and we'll take second, OK? Well done, OK? Thank you.
Mwah! Bye-bye.
Bye! This must be some of the stress-free cooking I've ever been involved in, because everyone's having fun, relaxed, and they're so generous with their offerings in terms of the knowledge.
The most important thing is (Laughs) I have the winning recipe.
Now I just have to put that into practice and kick McDang's butt.
Unbelievable.
Time for a beer.
A big one.
The next morning, I'm back on the road.
Soon I will pit my skills against Thailand's most celebrated chef.
The final dish for me to learn is Thai seafood soup.
But before I make it, I need to catch the key ingredient.
I love fishing.
I grew up fishing.
Especially on the River Tay up in Scotland.
Didn't catch much.
However, just that excitement, that little bit of magic, that little bit of adrenaline - what's under the water, what am I going to catch? The south has 3,000km of coastline and backwaters, making it the best place to go fishing in Thailand.
I'm hooking up with one of the most experienced fishermen in the region, Saht.
Morning, how are you? Good to see you.
What is that thing there? It's a harpoon.
May I have a quick look, please? Look at that.
My gosh.
Look at it.
That's incredible.
So that's the fish, but They look amazing.
Look at the size of them, the oyster shells.
(Laughs) It's like a paving stone.
(Laughs) My God! Look at it! Unbelievable.
What does an oyster this size taste of? You should try and catch it yourself, and then you taste it, and then you know what it tastes like.
That big! Ready? Let's go.
This looks amazing.
This is beautiful.
We're fishing for super-size oysters on the beds of these backwaters, but Saht expects they'll put up a fight.
What in the hell is that for? It gets better.
And a chisel.
Yeah.
Where (Speaks Thai) You use this side.
That one there.
Thank you.
And for what? For oyster.
For oysters.
How deep down are we going? 3m maximum.
3m? OK, great.
Ready? The trip to the oyster hotspot is heavenly.
No crowds, no stress, just beautiful countryside.
What is that? An eagle? Wow.
Saht eventually stops in what looks like the middle of nowhere.
But this is the spot where he makes his biggest catches.
But I can't see a thing.
Visibility is really bad.
Is Saht capable of getting anything here? The tide's high and the water's murky.
Are there any snakes here? No.
No snake.
As we continue to dive down, things eventually become clearer.
I spotted it.
I can't get it off the rock.
With Saht's help, I try to knock it off the rocks.
But I run out of breath.
Shit.
I can't believe you're taking an axe to a bloody oyster.
OK.
(Gasps) Whoo! Oh, shit.
I'm seriously chuffed.
It's in perfect condition.
I haven't cracked the shell.
And I've never gone down diving for oysters, let alone with a chisel and an axe.
While I'm admiring my oyster, Saht's making quick work of the rest of them.
Wow! That will be incredible.
That is beautiful.
Can we open that now? Yeah? No.
That looks incredible.
That looks amazing.
Do you mind? Yeah? How was it? Mm.
I didn't think it would be that firm.
It was almost like it was cooked, but it was clearly raw.
But you know when oysters get that firmness when they've been lightly poached - incredibly meaty but very, very sweet.
I'm dying to see how Saht and his friend is going to cook these.
Back at the village, Saht has invited over a great local cook called Ya.
Sawadee kap.
Madam.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
She's going to show me the Thai way to serve oysters and an amazing fish soup.
So what are we going to make? You would like to make tom sum first? Tom sum, yeah, lovely.
A classic.
Normally we break, bang-bang.
Bang-bang.
Mm, you hit them.
Yes.
See? Yes.
That smells amazing.
Amazing.
That's right, we have to bang.
Break, yeah? There's no need for knife skills with Ya's tom sum soup.
Into the pot? Yeah, in the pot.
The lemongrass, onions and turmeric will form the classic Thai aromatic stock.
So that's just plain water in there? Plain water.
She then adds some fresh local fish.
Heads in.
Fish sauce.
Yes.
BOTH: One, two, three, four, five Whoa, enough.
Sugar, a little bit.
Sugar.
Sugar? Yeah.
And then this one.
And finally, an essential southern sour ingredient, palm vinegar.
About three spoon.
Three spoons.
Food from here all sour and spicy.
So that's the main characteristics of the southern Thai cuisine.
Yes.
Hot and sour.
The final part of the fishy feast is a delicious dipping sauce for oysters.
Bang-bang until smooth together, yeah? Bang-bang until smooth together.
Yeah.
It starts with a paste - of course - made of garlic, coriander, root chilli and salt.
Sugar as well.
Half spoon, yeah? Half spoon of sugar.
More bang-bang.
Garlic.
Chilli.
Garlic.
Chilli.
Salt, sugar.
Salt, sugar.
Then limes and fish sauce.
And that's the dipping sauce done.
Yeah? Not hot at all.
Need more chilli, little bit? (Coughs) Yeah? No, no more chilli.
I can't wait to taste our efforts.
First up, oysters and dipping sauce.
Mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
That is delicious.
Really nice.
Yeah.
Really good.
And finally, the fish soup.
Tom sum soup, delicious.
Really fragrant.
Mm! Very, very nice.
Thank you so much.
Those oysters were delicious.
Thank you.
I'll be sad to leave this laid-back paradise, but I've learnt all I can.
Time to put it into practice.
It was phenomenal.
No dried ingredients anywhere.
All fresh ingredients.
Lime leaves, galangal, turmeric, ginger, garlic - delicious.
And then think, back home, we're crying out for healthy, easy food to prepare.
Give me Thai food any day.
One week ago I was a novice.
Tomorrow I put my new skills to the test when I make my Thai TV debut in the battle of the chefs.
It's the day of the cooking competition with McDang and my Thai television debut.
The McDang crew are setting up in a district called Bang Luang, on the outskirts of Bangkok.
A week ago I could only cook a pad thai.
Today, I'm putting my neck on the line and taking on Thailand's top chef.
I've been told to show up on set at 10am on the dot.
Sawadee kap.
Hello.
How are you? I'm good, thank you.
Good to see you.
Good to see you too.
I'm Pai.
Hai.
Hi.
Pai.
I'm Gordon.
Pai.
So where is he? 1:00 he arrives.
That late in the day? What is he like when he arrives on set? What's the first thing he has, a cold towel? He just finds his own place to sit.
Peppermint tea? Yeah, and then make-up, do all that.
Make-up? It's a TV show.
It's a Thailand TV show.
We always do make-up.
What? Oh, bless, look.
'I love Mum.
' And who are the judges? One is McDang's father.
McDang's father.
He's quite famous.
He's like a Thailand Michelin guy.
McDang's father is a famous food critic, and he's going to be judging his son's food against my food.
Yes.
Basically I've got fucking no chance of winning today.
I don't think Gordon's nervous.
Gordon likes competition, damn it! Left foot forward, right foot forward.
Left foot forward, left I'm going to really enjoy doing this, because he's so cocky and I'm really cocky too! (Laughs) It's going to be fun.
It's going to be really, really fun.
Come on, McDang, where are you? Where is he? McDang and I have agreed to cook three dishes each - a soup, a stir-fry and a curry.
They'll be blind tasted.
Lucky for me, McDang's Dad will be joined in the judging by two other top food critics.
Here's here.
He's arrived.
And knowing him, he's probably in make-up or something.
I don't have to win.
I know I already won.
I'm not trained as a Thai chef.
But what I've learned the last week has been phenomenal.
Great insight.
And nothing really posh, which is nice.
But the real scary thing for me today is that it's not just about cooking up against McDang, trying to entertain those food critics.
The whole of Thailand's watching.
Hey, hey, hey, look who's here! (Laughs) How are you? Sawadee kap.
Sawadee kap.
Nice to see you again.
Likewise.
Good to see you too.
What an amazing week! And this team of chefs - who are all these? Those are my staff.
You're joking! I have five of them.
So, do you want to start right away? Er, yes.
OK.
(Speaks Thai) (Applause) Are you ready? I've always wanted to see one of these things.
Oh, come on! Honestly, look, it's not a fucking movie! (Laughter) It's a TV program! He's OK, it's OK.
Pissing my pants.
Action! (Speaks Thai) (Laughs) Chef Gordon Ramsay.
Sawadee You say sawadee kap.
Sawadee kap.
We're going to cook three dishes.
Yes.
By the way, I'm on my Jack Jones as well.
I've got nobody.
He's got an army of people to help him.
(Laughs) Are we ready to go? Yes! Oh, Jesus! OK.
Right.
Good luck, by the way.
Excuse me.
Sorry, can you just say, for me, 'cause I'm feeling homesick, ready, steady, cook.
When you're ready.
Are you ready? Yes.
Ready, steady, cook! OK, excellent.
I'm starting with my version of gang hung lay, the northern pork curry.
First up, the paste.
So garlic, salt, chillies, with lemongrass in there.
Was your paste made? Of course! Oh, come on! No-one in Thailand would have spent all that time doing it.
And it has to come out looking like this.
I know.
I'll taste it for the heat.
See you next week.
See you next week? That's unfair.
It'll take a long time to do it.
Gordon (Speaks Thai) I'm frying off the paste, just like the sausage queen Mrs Arat showed me.
Then the pork goes in, which I've dusted with cinnamon for an extra layer of spice.
Then I'm adding fish sauce for saltiness, cane sugar for sweetness and some dark soy for colour.
You just stuck your fingers in my dish.
Tastes good.
(Laughs) Would you like me to mop up your face for you? You're sweating like crazy.
(Laughs) Can you swim? No! You're gonna throw me down there, aren't you? If you stick your fingers in my fucking wok again, yes! Unbelievable! McDang's army of assistants have done so much prep he's racing ahead with his pork and green banana curry.
Good.
You see, I'm taking this fucking serious.
I know I may be, in the sense of Thailand, I haven't got a hope in hell of winning, but hey, Braveheart.
If I'm going to go down, I'll go down in style.
Brave words when you look at what I'm up against.
What But what Unbelievable.
So I don't do a thing.
I just cook! While my curry's cooking, I really need to bang-bang the spices for my southern-style soup.
Tom sum talay.
Like a really nice fragrant hot and sour soup, but taken from the southern style, with lots of fish, squid, shrimp.
Oysters as well, which is nice, going back to the dive.
Just as I start to get excited about my prospects, there's a hitch with my hung lay curry.
Fuck.
It's just caught at the bottom, so it just tastes a little bit burnt.
Shit.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Shit.
But it's too late to do anything.
McDang's father and the other two judges are here.
My father is probably the most famous man about food in Thailand.
Serious? He knows you! So you are somebody.
Even in Thailand.
The clock's ticking down.
The judges are waiting.
McDang's all done.
I've left my chicken stir-fry to the last minute.
I don't want the chicken to boil.
Put all the veg in now it'll boil.
I want that really nice stir-fry flavour.
I'm finishing it off with a fried quail's egg.
Are you ready? Yes, I am.
Alright.
Our dishes are going to the judges' table.
They won't know whose is who, but they'll decide if I've done enough to win them over and beat McDang.
Thank you very, very much.
Jesus Christ, that was hard.
Harder than I expected.
(Laughs) I'm not sure if I want to know what they're saying about my food.
Do you want to go over there? No, no, no.
Never, never, ever grace the table of a food critic.
It'll always comes back to bite you on the arse.
This, er, good taste.
I like the idea of the small fried egg on top.
Finally the results, delivered course by course.
Action! (Speaks Thai) Judge's verdict.
Soup.
McDang's favourite.
Ohhh! Curry.
Sorry, yes.
Curry.
Gordon's favourite.
Yes! Serious? Seriously? Stir-fry.
No favourite.
It's a draw.
Whoo-hoo! That's amazing! Amazing! Thank you very, very much.
Thank you so much.
(Laughs) Thank you.
Thailand has been the final stop on my South-East Asian odyssey.
I'm thrilled it's ended on a high.
The end result was good.
I was pleased.
I beat him on one dish.
This has been a big eye-opener.
Loved every minute of it.
I've had the adventure of a lifetime.
Is that big enough to eat? Yes.
Fuck! Shit.
I'm pumping the brakes.
(Crash!) If I finish the lot, tell him, I'll fall flat on my face.
(Laughter) Ugh! Errr.
Errr.
We promised no secrets.
This is insane.
I hope this tastes fucking amazing.
Fuck! (Laughter) Any chance of a skinny latte? (Laughs) Come on, the Prime Minister's waiting.
Prime Minister, absolute pleasure.
Mr Gordon Ramsay.
Excellent.
I've learned the secrets to Asia's culinary delights, but now it's time to head home.
I'm a chef, get me to fuck out of the jungle.
Closed Captions by CSI