Lizzie Mcguire (2001) s02e09 Episode Script

Just when you think, your outfit is perfect you find last week's, pizza stain.
Aah.
Which is kind of weird because it should've been washed in last week's laundry.
Great.
Which means something bizarro is going on with my wardrobe and I don't mean my blacks don't match.
This could only mean one thing.
Matt!! You rang? What have you done to my clothes? Why, nothing.
Well, then, what is this? Proof that you're a slob, I guess.
You are such vermin.
Why can't you just stay out of my stuff and quit invading my privacy?! How is taking your dirty, disgusting, nasty clothes out of the hamper and putting them back in your closet "invading" your privacy? Just stop ruining my life.
Quit ruining mine! What are you talking about? You never give me my phone messages.
You're always taking my lunch to school instead of yours and you hog the bathroom.
News flash, Matt.
You don't get any phone messages and I took your lunch to school one time by accident and I don't hog the bathroom any more than you do.
Well maybe a little.
-Uh, fine.
-Fine.
I'll stay out of your life! Why do I suddenly look like Matt? This isn't my room.
Oh, my gosh.
I am Matt! If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.
Lizzie McGuire S02E09 Those Freaky McGuires Kids! Stop your fighting! -But I'm you! -And I'm you! Give me back my body, you worm! Yeah, like, I want to be a stupid girl.
Okay, what do we do? Stop, drop and roll.
No, Matt.
That's fire safety.
How did this happen? Well, I don't know.
One minute I'm switching your shampoo with shaving cream and the next minute, I'm you! But before that, we were fighting.
We told each other to stay out of our lives, right? And we said it at the exact same time.
So, uh, let's say it again and see if we switch back.
-On my count: One, two, three.
-Stay out of my life! Well? Ooh.
How high are these shoes? They're kind of cool.
I am giant Matt! Fear me! Aah! Matt, this is serious.
And when is the last time you brushed your teeth? Ew! That's disgusting! What are we going to do? I really don't want to be you.
And I really, really don't want to be you.
Besides, how are we going to explain this to people? Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo are on the phone.
Um, Lizzie's a little busy at the moment.
Why, what did you do to her? Switch her shampoo with shaving cream again? Me? No.
Uh, let's just say Lizzie's not quite herself this morning.
She's a lot like me.
-Oh, you mean short and annoying.
-Ha, that's funny.
Um, actually, I'll have her call you back.
Bye.
Cut it out.
This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
And you're short.
Well, at least I have good hair.
I don't know what you do with all this stuff.
Maybe I'll just chop it off.
Don't you dare.
You'd better get a move on, kids.
You're going to be late for school.
-Dad didn't even notice! -Did he say "school"? You really think they're both sick? Well, Lizzie never pulls stunts like this, but Matt -Well, you take him and I'll take her.
-Got it.
Okay.
Okay, let's see what we've got.
-98.
6 degrees.
-I got 98.
6 degrees, too.
-Normal.
-They didn't even try to fake it.
-Matt? -Uh, you rang? I believe I said "Matt.
" But we're sick.
See? I don't feel well.
I totally don't feel like myself today.
Matt, we didn't buy that when you were trying to get out of that history test and we're not buying it today.
But today's actually a really good day to buy it.
And Lizzie, I don't know why you're pretending to be sick but I'm disappointed that you would go to such lengths to avoid whatever it is in school that you're not telling me about.
Not telling you about? Okay, that's it.
I'm telling Mom.
-It's like this -I'm talking to your sister, Matt, not you.
But I am his sister! Lizzie? Is there anything I ought to know? What I'm trying to say is Can it, fungus; Mom's right.
Sorry, Mom.
Matt, he's so clever, he dared me to play sick.
And, uh, I, being Lizzie wasn't as convincing as I could've been.
We'll be ready for school in a couple minutes.
He dared you? Since when do you listen to your brother? He is the smartest boy on the whole planet.
What's gotten into them? Haven't a clue.
Well, then, I guess we'll just have to go about our day as normal as possible and, uh, we'll try and figure out how to switch back when we get home from school.
And there's just one thing.
Talk to me.
Don't ruin my life! Me, ruin your life? Why, whatever do you mean? I wasn't wearing that this morning! Personally, I think you wear your clothes a little too tight.
But, if you insist, I'll go upstairs and change.
Just wear something normal, okay? Life as I used to know it is now officially over.
Help me! He likes me, he likes me That's it.
The gloves are coming off.
Way too cool for my geek sister.
It'll do.
If I was stuck on a desert island chances are my top five CD choices would be the least of my concerns.
It was just a question.
Sheesh, do you always have to be so practical? Well, it's my practicality, not my CD collection that would get me off the island.
Oh my gosh! Oh! You weren't kidding.
So, guys where's our first class? Lizzie, what are you? I mean, how can you? I think what Miranda's trying to say is wh-what were you thinking when you got dressed this morning? You look like Elton John.
That's Sir Elton John.
And I like these shoes.
Where's bad? Hmm.
When's lunch? I'm getting kind of hungry.
Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my best friend? Well, Matt, in a brilliant ruse he decided to donate all of my clothes to a traveling circus.
So, this is all I had left.
Why don't your parents just send him to military school? I never thought of that! If I just sit here quietly, maybe no one will notice me.
Brilliant.
Totally brilliant.
Um, are you talking to me? Dressing like a nerd.
Putting soap bubbles in the school fountain.
Amateur.
But that should buy you at least a few minutes before you get in trouble.
Get in trouble? I'm lucky I even knew how to find this class.
But how can I be in trouble? I've been sitting here the entire time.
Totally amateur excuse, too? We'll work on your alibi for when you're called to the principal's office.
Why would I be called to the principal's office? I haven't done anything.
I can't be in trouble.
Good morning, students.
Thanks to a particular ne'er-do-well there will be no eating lunch by the front lawn fountain today.
That being said will Matt McGuire please report to the principal's office? The principal's office? But I'm innocent.
I don't even know where the principal's office is.
Oh, Matt, such a kidder.
This is so unfair.
At least at home when Matt gets in trouble, he deserves it.
This is a conspiracy against my brother.
Yeah, and I got this one from when I fell off my motorbike.
Oh, sweet.
So, did it ooze puss or blood? A little bit of both.
Did it get all scabby? I just love to peel back scabs.
Oh, you like that? I got this bruise on my knee one time and it went from black to yellow and back to black.
-Cool.
-Yeah.
Yeah, one time I got a bruise.
I was jumping onto this Velcro wall that me and my dad made.
And it was so gross, it buuugh! Okay, scabs, bruises, scars? I mean, do we need to do an intervention, or something? Um, I know that this is going to sound weird but Lizzie's acting pretty cool.
I-I mean, she seems so comfortable with herself.
It is weird.
I mean, the one day where she looks terrible she has what looks like the best conversation she's ever had with Ethan Craft.
Maybe I should dress like her tomorrow.
See you at lunch, Lizzie.
Later.
-Yeah, me, too.
Later.
-Later.
Let me tell you something, Lizzie.
The next time you plan on stealing my lunch date with Ethan, well you'd better not.
I didn't steal your lunch date.
Then how come I just heard Ethan say that he'll see you at lunch? Maybe because he is going to see me at lunch.
If you mess up my lunch date with Ethan you'll never eat lunch in this school again.
Got it? -I don't care.
-Freak.
You totally told Kate off.
I am totally dressing like you tomorrow.
Maybe you should rethink the shoes.
Lizzie, are you okay? I seem to be spending a lot of time on the ground.
Yeah, but Kate just made you look like a total idiot.
That's fine.
She has no idea who she's dealing with.
I just got detention.
People like me don't do well in detention.
I didn't even put the bubbles in the fountain.
This is so unfair! Um, hello? That's the way it always works.
We always get in trouble for stuff, sometimes stuff we don't even do.
So Principal Adler yells a little then sends us on our way.
The predictability's actually sort of ooh, comforting.
Oh, really? You find three weeks detention comforting?! -Three?! -Ewghhh!!! Three weeks detention? But that never happens.
Only for really bad stuff, but still you're right, that is totally unfair.
Thank you.
I'll tell you what's even more unfair.
I follow the rules.
I never get into trouble.
I do my homework and I'm never late for class.
I am a good kid! Okay! This is us you're talking to.
What is going on? They're never going to believe me.
I'll tell you what's going on.
I'm Lizzie.
Somehow, Matt and I switched places this morning and we don't know how to switch back.
Okay, Matt-- I mean, Lizzie-- here's what we're going to do.
You actually believe me? They believe me! Truth is, we knew something was up when you walked past Clark Benson without sneezing in his pudding.
Wow.
Matt's really gross.
So, uh, Kate, that little stunt that you pulled kicking the chair out from underneath me-- a little amateur.
But I didn't do that.
You must be confusing me with someone else.
Oh, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate you have no idea who you're dealing with.
I may look like sweet, innocent, little Lizzie McGuire but that'll be your undoing.
Please! I'm just saying when you least expect it expect it.
It could be now or it could be now or it could be now or not.
Later.
Watch and learn.
Lizzie! How'd it happen exactly? I have no idea.
I mean, one minute, Matt and I were fighting and the next I was him.
Hey, you're right, Lanny.
I could've hit my head on something.
Wait a sec.
I just understood Lanny.
Did his lips even move? I miss my life-- my friends, my shoes.
Do you see what I see? Yeah-- totally dorky shoes.
No.
Those footprints, they're soapy.
Oh, I get it.
Whoever those footprints belong to is the person who put soap in the fountain.
And when we find that person my little brother will be detention-free.
No, I-I've never really had my stomach pumped before but my friend Lanny has and he said that -Lizzie McGuire! -You rang? You owe me an apology.
Oh, I'm sorry that you ran into a big bucketful of chili.
That is not funny.
Do you know what she did to me? I'm guessing it had to do with a bucket of chili.
And banana peels and frogs in my locker.
Wait! Frogs? Wait, was Murray one of them? Oh, man, he's missing from the science lab.
Wait, which way? Which way? Uh, Murray, I'm coming to get you, buddy! Kate, Kate, Kate, Lizzie didn't do any of that stuff.
Yes, she did.
Kate, I think you have me confused for someone else.
Exactly.
I mean, Lizzie couldn't have done any of that stuff.
I mean, it's Lizzie.
You know, Kate he's right.
And, personally, I'm insulted.
You've besmirched my character and I don't need to take that.
So, guys, thanks.
It's been real, but I'm out.
Ribbit! Later! Lizzie! Not so fast, Clark Benson.
I didn't do it.
Then, how do you know we're accusing you of something? Okay, fine, I admit it but the only reason I put soap in the fountain is so you'd stop sneezing in my pudding.
It's disgusting and I like my pudding.
The kid's got a point.
You know what? You're right.
That is disgusting and I'm totally sorry and it won't happen again.
I don't think you're authorized to make that kind of promise.
Yes, I am.
-Really? -Really, and in fact, for the rest of the week-- no, for the rest of the year¡ª I promise I won't sneeze in your pudding ever again.
In that case, I'll tell Principal Adler that I'm the one that put the bubbles in the fountain.
Great! No detention.
But will I be stuck this way forever? Well, how'd it go? Could anybody tell? What happened today?! Nothing.
What happened with you? Okay, I'm not Mom and Dad, Matt.
"Nothing" didn't happen today.
Now, tell me everything, you little weasel.
You know, that's really the attitude that you should have at school.
If you treated Kate the way that you treated me then you'd be set.
Why? What happened?! Let's just saythings got a little chili at school today.
So, what happened with you? Well, you got three weeks detention for doing something you didn't do.
Three weeks?! That happens.
Not to my little brother.
I tracked down the guy who deserved it Clark Benson but you got to stop sneezing in his pudding.
Me? Sneezing in his pudding? Well, that's disgusting.
Hey.
What happened at school today? Nothing.
Okay.
Well, dinner will be ready soon.
Don't forget to wash up.
Do you think we'll be stuck like this forever? -Man, I hope not.
-Me, too.
Make that three of us.
And to top of the worst day of my life --the worst night of my life.
I miss my bed! I'm I'm I'm me again.
Woo-hoo! I'm back! Oh, I missed me so much.
Matt! What? We've switched back again! Yes! Why are you hugging me? Kids it's the middle of the night.
And what are you guys doing? Were you guys actually talking and not fighting? I must be dreaming.
-We forgot to say good night to each other.
-That's all.
-Good night.
-Sweet dreams.
Maybe we are dreaming.
-Hey! -Ow! Guess not.
So, uh d-do you think that really happened? Do I think what really happened? If he's not saying, then neither am I.
-Good night, Matt.
Sweet dreams.
-Night.
'Cause I only do that Oh, nice try, man.
Oh, that tastes so nasty! And to top off the worst day of my life the worst night of my life.
I miss my bed.
Oh, sorry.
You ra You rang? What did you do to all the