The Secret Life of the American Teenager s02e09 Episode Script

Dad, just take a break and go and see the house.
It'll be gone if george ever really puts it on the market.
Maybe i should have dated more.
You were pregnant when we broke up.
Maybe i just gave in too easily to both you and to david.
I do not want adrian living next door to amy.
Why not? Afraid she'll catch you lying about where you are? Amy thinks this whole find something in common routine Is just a cover for your trying to be interested in her.
She's hounding me to tell her that you had sex with some girl.
- Why don't you just tell her? - Because i didn't.
Did you see madison a lot last summer? It was nothing.
We just had a few meetings of the dead parents club.
Maybe it's time you and ricky both admit that Even though you love each other, you cheat on each other Because you're afraid to be loved.
Adrian told me that ricky slept over a few times this summer.
He promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone.
- You put him down this minute.
- Don't get upset.
I was just holding him.
You're never bringing him over here again.
- I don't want that-- - Slut.
touching my baby.
I'm not living next door to you.
I'm afraid you are.
My dad called.
Your dad accepted the offer.
Where's amy? We're going to be late.
She'll be here.
You're not that late.
- Are you okay? - No, i'm not okay.
Look, i'm just going to say it.
I think you should date.
Date? Who? I don't know, but there's probably a dating service for pregnant women.
Yeah, probably.
It's probably for perverts.
Mom, before you let dad back in, i--- I have to say something.
I don't think it may be the best idea after all.
I mean, i thought it was, but now i'm not sure.
Ashley, he sold the house.
Just deal with it.
You and your dad had your fun.
I am dealing with it, and to be honest, it wasn't very fun.
Just spit it out, ashley.
You didn't even have a chance to get out there, And all because of dad and his stupid vasectomy.
Come on, mom.
Please.
Just don't go back with him just yet.
Date.
I mean, go out with someone.
Don't you have an old friend to call that you could go out with? There must be someone.
I do have some old friends, but ashley-- Call them.
Send them a picture.
??? Yeah, you're pregnant, but you're still beautiful.
Please, mom.
Please.
Just for fun.
Just to get out of the house before the baby comes.
??? You've seen what having a baby's done to amy,??? She has no life.
Is there something you're not telling me? Are you and your sister conspiring to keep your dad and i apart for some reason? I would never work with amy.
He's dating.
Or i think he's dating.
Oh, is he? Well Go get your camera.
- What'd you forget? - My camera.
Oh, and by the way, if we move back, I'm not taking the stinking furniture from your store.
I want something old.
Something antique.
I don't care.
I just borrowed this stuff from the store anyway.
I can take it back and sell it.
You didn't buy it in the first place? - What's wrong with you? - Nothing.
Hey, it's going to be fun, sunshine.
You're getting your old room back.
No, i'm not.
John's in it.
And you don't even know if you're getting your old room back.
We could both be in the garage for all we know, And if we are, you're taking out the urinal.
Your mother asked me to take that out the week after we left.
What, you kept it? It's brand new.
I got it in my car.
- I'm selling it online.
- Good for you.
Maybe you can trade it for a dog.
I still want a dog.
We're not getting a dog once we get back in the house.
Exactly.
Who knows if we'll get back in the house? Sure we will.
And i've still got our name on the list To get one of those guide dogs if one flunks out.
Swell.
Hey, the ones that flunk out are still smarter than, um, other dogs.
Were you going to say amy? No i was not.
Your sister's a very smart girl.
Yeah, she obviously knows how to lay down and roll over.
Hey, that is not very nice.
What is wrong with you? I heard you talking on the phone, Making a date with some woman.
You really stink, you know that? All right, let's go.
I can probably get these Loaded on your computer before i leave for school.
S02 EP09 I told mom i will do that.
Oh, it's okay, buddy.
I got it.
I'm a little taller than you are.
What are you saying? I'm too short? No, i didn't say that.
I could fix that.
Yeah, i'm sure you could, but your mom asked me to.
Did you get it? Did you tell mom to ask jack to do this? Is that a problem? I'm the man of the house.
I fix things.
Of course you do.
But jack is very good at carpentry, so we thought he should do it.
I told you before, keep your paws off me.
No, now he's upset.
This is not good.
Don't worry about it.
I'll take him out and throw the ball around with him after practice.
I can get him back on my good side.
I don't know.
He does hold a grudge.
- Tom? - Yeah, tom.
- No, he doesn't.
- Yeah, he does.
Come on, we have to stop and pick up madison.
Why do we have to stop and pick up madison? I told her we would.
She feels awkward riding with jason and lauren.
We're not going to pick her up every day, are we? No, not every day.
But soon i'll have my license, so i can stop and pick her up whenever she wants.
Yeah, but you don't want to feel obligated To pick her up every day when you get your license, do you? I don't mind.
Then we can talk.
Talk about? Good morning, jack.
Thank you so much for fixing the cabinet.
It seems like everything in the house is falling apart.
Anytime.
Mom, i think tom's a little upset that we asked jack to do this.
- Tom's upset? - Yeah.
I didn't think about it, but maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
Oh, no.
What? I've never known tom to have a temper.
I mean, he wasn't happy when we-- Well.
I think it's all been building since we-- Probably.
No, he's over that.
I'm sure he's over that.
Because he knows we're not-- Well, i think he might think we're-- But you're not.
No, no, never again.
Not until-- Unless we're married.
Promise.
I'm telling you, i'll throw the ball around with him And he'll be fine.
Tom's a cool guy.
He is, but not when he's upset.
I know, i'll find something he can repair while you guys are at school.
Something where he can vent.
Really, i don't think he's that upset.
He doesn't get upset often, But when he does, Watch out.
- Really? - Really.
And i do think this has been building.
I can't believe i did this.
What was i thinking? You two make him sound like rambo.
It's tom.
We're pals.
Mom, please, please talk to him and see what you can do.
I don't want any trouble, and we have to go to school.
All right, grace.
I'll try.
- I'm going to get him.
- No, you're not, tom.
You are not going to get him.
That wouldn't be right.
Honey, you can do a lot of things, But you don't have any experience with carpentry.
And i have other projects.
I have lots of other projects you can do.
- Like? - Well, um To start with, the entire house needs vacuuming.
Get a housekeeper.
I'm a man, damn it.
See you tonight.
Wait, 30 days? We actually get the keys in 30 days? We do.
So you've got 30 days to get everything straightened out with amy.
Me? She called me a slut.
She's a new mom.
She's territorial.
John is her baby.
Yeah, so i was holding the baby.
So what? It's ricky's baby, too.
He let me hold him.
You're a smart girl.
Be smart about this.
And you know what i'm talking about.
No, i don't.
Right or wrong, amy doesn't want you touching her baby, So apologize to her and tell her you didn't realize it would be so upsetting to her And that it'll never happen again, Because you really want to be friends with her.
Especially now that we're all going to be neighbors.
I don't do that.
I don't apologize when i haven't done anything.
You did do something.
You upset amy.
So take responsibility for that.
She's the one who should take responsibility for being upset about nothing.
And she owes me an apology.
She called me a slut.
Adrian, you're sleeping with the guy who's the father of her child.
Yeah? No matter how much amy says she doesn't care about ricky, she cares about ricky, okay? Deal with it.
On some level, she cares about ricky, and ricky cares about her.
I'm not saying they're in love, but they have a common bond, And that common bond is the baby.
And that baby's not going anywhere.
So you have to figure out how to deal with all this, In a way that allows us all to be good neighbors.
Good neighbors? I'm not concerned about being a good neighbor.
Well, get concerned, 'Cause i just signed a 30 year mortgage.
Have a nice day.
What's going on? I'm waiting for amy.
- Because? - Because i'm a good neighbor.
What does that mean? It means that my father wants me to apologize for upsetting amy.
And i'm trying to find a way to do that without slapping her.
Nice attitude.
Very neighborly.
I don't think i'll stick around.
Why can't you tell her that's your son too and i can hold him if you want me to hold him? Because i'd like to continue holding him, And that's up to amy.
You can go to court and get shared custody.
I do not want to get into any of that, so-- Try to see that i don't.
Adrian, if i have to go to court To get rights to see john, then the court is also going to establish child support.
I wrap pork chops for a living.
I can't afford child support.
??? I give her 50 bucks a week, But any court would make me pay more than that, And that's all i got.
You give her money? Do not make problems for me.
I smell danger.
Bye.
You look nice this morning.
- You do, too.
For a-- - Slut.
You're going to call me a slut again? Is that how it's going to be? Mm-Hm.
So think about that before you move in.
- If you move in.
- We're moving in, all right.
And you think about this.
Ricky can just pick up his son and walk over to my house any time he wants.
And then i can hold john And feed him and rock him And be like a second mom.
My dad's not out of that house yet.
You mean he's not out of that house yet, slut? my family's going to be there for 30 years.
Not if my dad backs out of the sale.
And you know, he just might, because my mother is dating.
I don't think he's going to want to move in once he finds out she's dating.
Your pregnant mother's dating? And you think i'm a slut.
That is it.
I don't just think you're a slut, adrian.
You are a slut.
Slut.
Ladies, break it up now.
Amy, i'm surprised at you.
Oh, but not me? Thanks.
I'm not going to put up with this the entire school year, So you two find a way to get along.
And if we can't? If you can't, you're both off the team.
I'm not on a team.
The whole school is my team.
I'm talking suspension.
I'm talking about sending the two of you home.
And since you're going to be living next door to each other, That suspension wouldn't be too much fun, now would it? What's going on? Three to one says she starts crying.
She doesn't look too weepy.
Look, coach.
You talking to me? You're the coach, aren't you? Look, you should be talking to her, not me.
- I'm the good one.
- Watch out, now.
What? Adrian called my mother a slut.
She implied it, anyway.
You called adrian a slut.
I heard you.
Yeah, but she-- We were having a private conversation.
There are no private conversations in high school.
And i'm warning you, Show a little respect here.
I am not one of your stupid little football players.
You better get in there, benjamin.
You're not my coach.
Amy, are you feeling all right this morning? Were you up all night with the baby? No sleep? Stupid football players? I don't have any stupid football players.
The stupid football players maintain a b average.
And everyone knows how they maintain that b average.
What? - Let me tell you something, little lady.
- Little lady? Don't you mean "little mommy"? You're prejudiced against me because i'm a teen mother.
- I am not.
- Then what is it? I'm a band geek.
I don't have any problems with the band.
But it is the football team that keeps this school running.
The money made at the concession stands at our games paid for the landscaping at this school.
And i'm sure you're right, sir.
Amy, can i just talk-- Your games? Those are our games too, you know.
Are you disparaging the band? Because our band has won state competitions.
Your football team has never won state.
Your football team's our opening act.
She's on crack, or something.
Raging hormones are like crack.
Or at least, that's what i understand.
If that's your way of defending me, then step aside.
Why don't we both step into my office? Office? ??? - Hey, stranger.
- Hi.
How are your new friends? They're not new.
- Does she know? - Know what? You know what.
About your dates.
- Meetings.
- Whatever.
Does she know? - Yeah, she-- Grace knows.
- Mm-Hm.
Hi, lauren.
- Hi.
- Could i? Look, madison, i know you don't want to drive to school with jason, But i need some alone time with grace.
I get it.
I do.
She's back.
I'm out.
Why does every guy i know break up with me? Every guy? Um, not every guy.
Except one guy that i dated.
Jason.
I have to go.
I have to go, too.
Whoa, where are you going? I think jack did something with madison this summer.
Doubt it.
Guess who's getting suspended from school? I hope jack, or madison.
- Amy.
- What? - Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
For calling me a slut.
- But you-- - Don't say it.
Unless you want to get suspended, too.
What happened? My dad asked me to apologize because we're going to be neighbors, and i agreed.
I saw her.
I went up to her and i tried to apologize.
I was so nice to her, it's crazy.
I extended my hand to her, and she spit in my face.
Not literally.
But she called me a low-Class whore, Which is the same as spitting in my face.
You said she called you a slut.
I know.
I was just embellishing.
And it's what she wanted to say.
All because i held that stupid baby.
- Adrian.
- What? You can't let amy get suspended from school.
Well, i can't help her now.
She went off on coach.
Yeah.
Because you got her upset.
Because i implied that her mother is a slut.
I was just one-Upping the conversation.
Everyone knows that if you get called a slut, The next step is to call the other person's mother a slut.
??? She took it so personally.
Adrian, that is wrong.
Who cares? Everyone's a slut at some point.
- Except me.
- Except you? Um, hello.
I am not a slut.
Madison's a slut.
Oh, so she did tell you.
I'm surprised.
That she and my brother were-- Doing it.
They weren't doing it.
How do you know? Because jason told me they weren't.
He and i got very close this summer at med camp.
He was just trying to sleep with you.
- He told me.
- He did not.
Yes, he did.
That's why madison-- Madison went a little crazy with him.
And i'm not going to stand here gossiping about my best friend and my brother.
Jason told me he broke up with madison because she wasn't serious about her studies.
Yeah.
Lots of couples break up over that.
Why do you think they broke up? Are you kidding me? Probably because of jack.
I got to go.
Hold it.
Oh, hi.
I didn't see you.
You saw me.
Are you insane? You got amy suspended.
I didn't do anything.
Amy got herself suspended.
Well, you get her unsuspended.
How am i supposed to do that? I don't know, But if you don't, i'm never going to be able to let you around john again.
Well, that's okay.
It was nice holding him, but it's not my kid.
It's my kid.
I know.
And every night, after you go over to amy's to see him, Then you can come over to my house and we can have great sex.
Adrian, i thought we were serious about each other.
I thought you and i were going to start over and try to make things work.
This isn't making things work.
We can't be together if you're not friends with amy.
What? How can i be friends with amy when she called me A no-Good, lying, cheating, two-Bit low-Class whore? - What? - Yeah.
And then she spit in my face.
Practically.
You have to suspend me? What do you mean, have to? You called adrian a slut.
And then you disrespected me.
I know, but adrian is a slut, And i didn't know you were anything more than a coach.
I thought you were just the coach.
You're not helping yourself.
It's probably my mom.
Hello? You're getting suspended? You want to talk to the coach? I'd love to.
Hi, mrs.
Juergens.
I just want you to know that amy made a disparaging remark to adrian, And when i tried to talk to her about it, She made quite a few disrespectful remarks to me, So i'm going to have to suspend her for one day.
We don't allow that kind of behavior at school.
I don't know and i don't care What kind of behavior you allow in your home, But i don't allow that kind of behavior at this school.
What do you mean, what kind of behavior i allow at home? Do you think i allow amy to be disrespectful to me or her father in our own home? If you don't mind, i'd like to talk to my daughter alone, please.
Of course.
Mom, adrian implied that you're a slut.
That's why i got so upset.
Who cares what adrian thinks? I have a date tonight.
Aren't you excited? I just got suspended from school.
Don't be so dramatic.
It's just one day.
Listen, i'll meet you out in front and we'll go to the mall Before i drop you off at the church nursery.
- The mall? - Yeah, i don't have anything to wear.
Or anything that fits, anyway.
Okay, so here's what i want you to do.
Is the coach still there? He's waiting outside the office.
Perfect.
When you walk out of there, Just keep your head down, look ashamed and head straight for the door.
Aren't you supposed to be yelling at me or something? What is wrong with you? I'm excited.
He's an old friend, and he used to be really cute.
Go, go.
I'm on my way.
Uh, she's picking me up.
And i'm sorry.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yeah, that'll happen.
Apologize.
Apologize to amy, or i'm never coming near you again.
I'll be near you whether you come over again or not.
I mean it *** I just think he and Madison Were a little bit closer than either one want to tell me.
Honey, I think it was such a good idea you invited Madison over.
You don't want any enemies.
She seems like a nice girl.
She seems like it, but I don't know.
Maybe she and Jack took advantage of the fact That Jason and I were gone all summer.
And you and Jason? You didn't get together and talk all summer? That's all we did, was talk.
So why do you think Jack and Madison did more than talk? I don't know.
Grace, if you're going to be in a relationship with someone, You have to trust them.
And if you can't trust them, You shouldn't be in a relationship with them.
Yeah, well, when I cheated on George, Neither of us trusted each other.
And that's when most people cheat.
When there's no trust.
- This is not helping.
- You're right.
You make your own decisions when it comes to Jack.
She always has.
Where's my good buddy Jack? I thought Jack wanted to throw the ball around this afternoon.
Well, I didn't know if you really wanted to do that.
I want to do that.
Okay.
Do you, honey? A handy guy like that? Of course.
I want to throw the ball around with Jack.
When's he coming over here? I'll text him.
He'll get the message right after football practice.
Call him now.
I don't want to call him in case he has his phone on when he's around the coach, Because the coach is in a really bad mood today.
Well, I hope the coach is not mean to my buddy Jack.
Should I text Jack? Yeah, why not? Plus, it'll give you a chance to say whatever you want to say About whether or not you trust him.
All right.
But do you really think Tom's okay with Jack? If he's not, it'll give him a chance to communicate.
That's what everyone needs to do, is communicate.
Well, Amy was doing some communicating today with the coach.
That's what got him in a bad mood, And that's what got her suspended.
Amy? I would like to see the look on the coach's face.
So Amy didn't cry, did she? Yeah, but I'm not sure if it was real crying or just crying for sympathy.
That Amy, wow.
A year ago, she never would have stood up for herself.
Good for her.
I wonder why your mother didn't call me.
She doesn't tell you everything.
I don't tell her everything, either.
I don't even tell you everything.
And obviously, I don't tell you everything.
And I'm fine with that.
So she's dating, huh? Your mom's dating? Man, who would go out with a woman Who's in her third trimester? I don't know.
You didn't have anything to do with this, did you? *** I might have.
Well, what do you care? You're dating anyway.
Man, you have to do something about Amy.
She's losing it.
She got suspended.
Is this the keep your woman in line lecture? This is something that Amy and Adrian are going to have to settle.
I told Adrian to apologize.
Her father told her to apologize.
It's good to know that you can't keep your woman in line, And neither can her father.
So how do you expect me to control Amy? Oh, please.
Do go on, gentlemen.
How is the best way to control a woman? Tell me.
I didn't mean control.
I just meant-- - Yeah? - Someone has to get through to Amy.
Why, because Amy doesn't have a mind of her own? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Amy has a mind of her own.
Believe me.
And so does Adrian.
You want some advice, the two of you? Get to work.
Bunny, there's no one in here.
It's the end of the day.
You, like Amy and Adrian, are a very strong woman.
Couldn't you give us some life advice? People who don't understand cows shouldn't handle beef.
Free range cattle are happy, and provide a more tender cut.
There's an old Yiddish saying which I've changed a bit because I'm Irish.
Whoever needs meat is a slave to the cow.
What are you, vegetarian? Good job asking Bunny for advice.
Look, we got to do something.
I don't want Amy and Adrian to be enemies.
It's going to make our lives hell.
How is it going to make my life hell? If Amy won't let me take John out of the house, Or if I can't baby-Sit because she's afraid Adrian might come over, How are you ever going to have sex with Amy? I'm not.
I've given up on that.
Yeah.
Question is, why have you given up on that? Why are you home so early? Oh, I got out of court early.
Your mom's not coming in till around 9, and I'm starving.
Want to get something to eat? Yeah, great.
I'm starving too.
How'd it go, at school? How's it going with Amy? Just so you know, I tried to apologize to her, And then she called me some really terrible names That I won't repeat because I know you hate words like that.
And then, she mouthed off to the football coach, Who is also the counselor, And he suspended her.
But hey, you know what? I tried.
Well, after we get something to eat, Maybe we could go by her house and you could try again.
- What? - Yeah.
Coach called.
He said in talking to Amy and her mother, He felt that he had just heard the end of the conversation, And that perhaps you had instigated the problem.
And he wasn't going to suspend you, But he doesn't want any more trouble at school.
I'm not hungry.
Okay.
Well, we could go by Amy's first, And then maybe after you've cleared the air, You'll feel more like a bite to eat.
Or not.
How'd you let this happen, huh? You want to be a prosecutor one day? You want to do what I do? Then you have to learn to keep a public face.
You get along with everyone, Because getting along is to your benefit.
Then I'll do something else.
I don't have to do what you do.
What are you going to do that doesn't require Getting along with other people? Undertaker? Look, I can't, okay? I just can't.
I'm not good at getting along with people I don't like.
You've got to change your attitude.
To what? We'll discuss it over food.
Let's go.
Look, I'm sorry about this morning.
I didn't know you wanted to fix the cabinet.
I didn't mean to step on your toes, buddy.
Sure.
Okay.
Let's play some ball.
Now the most important thing when throwing a football Is the follow through.
You have to shift your weight from the back to the front And follow through on the release.
So shift your weight, Release, and follow through.
You need to release and follow through like this.
All right, now there's no such thing as too much follow through.
Release and follow through.
I got it.
- Release and follow through.
- I got it.
Just making sure, buddy.
Yeah.
Thanks, buddy.
- Fingers on laces.
- Okay.
Release and follow through.
Okay.
Think fast.
Groin injury.
Get the ice.
I don't think so.
How was that, buddy? Enough follow through? Maybe he needs to go to the hospital.
Maybe.
How do I look? You look nice.
You look very pregnant.
Did Amy pick that? Ashley, I don't think that I could look anything but pregnant.
Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
You want me to go with you? On my date? Well, I could.
You were the one who said I should get out more before the baby gets here.
You're the who said that I should call an old friend.
You're right.
I did say that.
But-- Okay, just remember to bring your cell phone So you can call in case your friend's some weirdo.
And who am I going to call if he ends up being a weirdo? Your dad? Won't he be out on his own date? Yeah, I guess, but you know Amy and I can't drive.
I'll be fine.
Did you Google this old friend of yours? No, I didn't Google him.
I just want to have a meal with him.
I talked to him on the phone, And he still has that same sense of humor That he had when we were in school together.
A little juvenile, but he's a fun guy.
Good night.
Good night, John.
Good night.
Why would my mother listen to me? Right.
No one listens to me.
You better hurry up.
That kid's getting hungry.
I've had a bad day, all right? Yeah, it's all right with me.
You know what? I hope Mom has a great time on her date, And I hope Dad has a great time on his date, too.
And I hope that you realize that you're responsible If our parents don't get back together, Even though they're having a baby.
What were you thinking? What are you yelling at me for? I know you don't want us to move back in here.
No, I don't, because I don't want that slut to move in next door.
Hi.
Can I come in? I don't know.
What do you want? I want to apologize to you again.
Go ahead.
Hope you do a better job than you did last time.
Me too.
All right, look, Amy.
I'm really sorry you called me a slut And got suspended from school.
That's your idea of an apology? I'm not finished.
I'm also really sorry that you're totally insecure, Selfish and naive.
Is that right? Well, I'm sorry that you're a slut, A slut and a slut.
I'm not, because being a slut Is going to keep Ricky interested in me and not you.
Aren't you being insecure? If sex is so great with you, Then why are you so afraid That Ricky will be interested in me? Maybe having a baby together Gives Ricky and I a deeper bond Than you'll ever have with him, Just because the two of you are having sex.
That's an interesting point.
I think I might discuss that with my friend Ben.
You know, in the long run, While Ricky may love his son, he's probably never going to love you, Because you ruined his life.
Good night.
Oh, and again, I'm sorry.
Way to go.
You told her off.
I hate her.
I think she hates you, too.
Ashley, we cannot let her family move into Dad's house.
What are we supposed to do, Amy? He can't take the house back now.
She's already moving in.
He can't move over here.
He's dating.
So is Mom.
I thought it would help even things out.
You know, I think maybe they should get back together Before the baby comes, or the baby will just be-- The baby will just be what, Ashley? Nothing.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I almost attached some stigma to the baby not having parents who were married.
And of course, the baby can't help that.
But maybe the parents can.
I really am sorry.
No, you're right.
I do get that a lot.
People ask me if I'm married all the time.
And I have to say no.
I'm just a teenager.
But the looks on their faces are always the same.
Poor baby.
Amy.
I wish I could get married.
To Ben, right? I'm going to take this opportunity While Betty's in the ladies' room To tell you you got some mail today.
Uh, I don't even read or speak Italian.
Are you telling me you learned nothing over there? Are you still referring to the language? Yeah, because if you learned anything about sex over there, I don't want to know about it.
And you know who else doesn't want to know about it? Amy.
So if you had sex this summer, That's your little secret, And you don't want to tell anyone.
Not anyone.
I haven't told anything to anyone about anything.
Good.
Someone didn't happen to say that I had sex with them -This sumer in the postcard, did they? - No.
All right, well then, could you possibly read this And tell me what it says? Later.
Oh, I love the restrooms here.
The cloth towels are so classy.
Hey, Betty.
Leo.
Hi.
We're regulars.
I've never been regular.
Makes me feel so special.
You are special.
And you're special too.
And you're a special kid.
Thanks, Betty.
Ben.
Did you want to tell me that I'm special? Oh, of course.
And you're a very special stepmother.
I don't know if I'm comfortable with that term.
Stepmother.
I don't think it really suits me.
Do you think? Uh, maybe I could call you Mom.
I don't think my mother would mind if I called you Mom.
I'd do that, if that's what you and Dad want.
Oh, yeah, I don't know if I'm comfortable with Mom, either.
I don't like labels.
I know.
How about you call me Betty? I can do that, Betty.
But I mean, you're not just that.
You're Betty, the woman my dad adores.
You know, I can tell you learned something in Bologna.
Uh, I guess.
You learned how to talk to women.
I can tell.
-You can? -Yeah.
And I can tell you learned when not to talk, And that is very important.
You're a real gentleman.
A woman doesn't always need to know every little thing.
You know what I'm saying? I do.
Some things are just between friends.
Yeah.
I guess apologizing to Amy really did make you feel better.
Yeah.
It made me feel inspired.
You did apologize? I said I'm sorry over and over, And we came to a new understanding, Amy and I.
Well, good.
Thank you, Adrian.
No.
Thank you.
Of course, now I'm too tired to go over there.
Sorry.
It's okay.
I rarely miss going over there.
She'll understand.
Of course she will.
Tell me the truth.
Did Ben tell you he had sex this summer? Did he? I'm asking you.
He didn't tell me if he did.
I don't know.
You wouldn't lie to me? Would you lie to me? One step forward, two steps back.
- Why two-- - Nothing.
Something my shrink says to me once in a while.
Amy.
I'll just get this over with.
Hi, Amy.
You don't have to come over.
Ashley put John to bed earlier, and he's fine.
You can come over if you want, but you don't have to.
I want to, but I've got a test to study for, So thanks, Amy, thanks for letting me know.
What test are you studying for? Just a test.
By the way, I'm really sorry about what happened at school today.
Adrian told me she apologized.
Adrian told you that when? -When? -Yeah, when? She apologized at school and then she apologized again tonight.
The second apology was no better than the first apology.
What? I don't want Adrian anywhere near John.
And if you're going to stay around Adrian, Then I'm afraid I don't want you around John.
Well, Amy, I could get a lawyer and establish my rights in court.
That's right, I have rights as John's father.
It's not fair.
It's not fair.
I'm his mother.
I do all the hard stuff.
I don't want you and Adrian just to take our son out And have a good time while I'm at home doing all the hard work.
Is that it, Amy, or is there something else going on here? I don't know.
What do you mean, something else? I mean, if Adrian was not around and Ben was not around, Do you think we might ever have a shot at a relationship? I love Ben.
I love Adrian.
I don't tell her that, but I do.
I can trust Ben.
Are you saying you can't trust me? Yeah.
I would never want to be with a guy Who cannot be faithful to me.
So maybe Ben is the right person for me, And Adrian is the right person for you.
Maybe.
People aren't perfect, Amy.
- Good night, Ricky.
- *** I hope you've been at Amy's all this time.
Not all this time, but yes, I was at Amy's.
Adrian, it's a school night.
You don't need to be out this late on a school night.
When we move into our new house and Ricky comes to see me, Then I won't be out this late.
So you were at Ricky's? After I was at Amy's.
So I take it that if you're still seeing Ricky, That everything went well at Amy's? Or you lied about how things went at Amy's.
You are good.
And you are bad.
What happened at Amy's? Why can't you just take my side? Oh, Adrian.
You're my dad.
That's what I need you for, to stand by me.
I'll do that when you're right and everybody else is wrong.
What does that mean? That means that until then, I'm not going to just stand by you When you keep doing the wrong thing.
I'm trying to get you to do the right thing.
All right.
All right what? I didn't do anything wrong.
At least, not until you tried to make me apologize.
The bigger picture, Adrian.
Look at the bigger picture.
You're about to move in next door to the mother of your boyfriend's child.
Now, it is important that everyone gets along.
That's the bigger picture.
Not who's right and who's wrong, But that everyone get along.
You've made a career Out of who's right and who's wrong, haven't you? You ever tell a guy that got mugged That it was his fault and he just has to get along with the mugger? No.
Of course not.
Wow, I'm going to be a really good attorney, aren't I? I want you to be a really good person first, And then a good attorney.
I am a really good person.
I just hate Amy Juergens.
And you know what else? I'm an honest person for saying that.
Good night.
If I had any hair, it'd be grey by now.
Love you.
Yeah.
Love you, too.
Now, if you're still in the fetal position in the morning, I'm going to have to insist you go to the emergency room.
I'll be okay.
I hope so.
And I hope we're okay.
Even if you did have some momentary indiscretion With Madison last summer, I'll get over it.
And even if you have some sort of future physical dysfunction Because of this little football mishap, I'll still marry you, Jack.
Promise.
Is that a possibility? Dysfunction? As your future doctor, I just have to inform you of the worst case scenario.
But hey, you'll probably be fine.
Good night.
I love you.
And remember, if you marry Grace, You marry me, buddy.
I just want to say that I didn't handle things well in the hallway today.
I was just so afraid for you to get in trouble, But you know what? You were amazing, Standing up for yourself like that.
Oh, thanks.
I thought I made a complete idiot out of myself.
No.
Are you kidding? You were a force of nature.
-You think? -Yeah, sure.
I cried.
Everyone thinks you did that on purpose.
- Really? - Really.
-Well, I didn't.
-Doesn't matter.
That's what people think.
What else do people think? About you? Well, they think you're pretty amazing.
I mean, you stayed in school.
You didn't run away when you got pregnant.
You just held your head up high and stuck it out, And now you're managing to work and go to school and be a mom.
Oh, speaking of which, I love the way you're so protective of John.
Not that Adrian would really hurt him.
What does that mean? It means that you're such an amazing person That I bet you'll find a way to work things out with Adrian.
Just because you're a better person.
I hate Adrian.
Come on, Amy, you don't hate anybody.
Yes, I do.
I hate Adrian.
And I hate that you talk to her.
What, were you just buttering me up So I'd be friends with your new friend? Is that why I'm so amazing? No, that's not why.
And I'm sorry if I said anything wrong.
I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are Before I went to sleep.
I love you.
Thanks.
Love you too.
Good night.
So you going to invite me in, milady? A little spot of tea and thee, perhaps? I don't think so, But I did have a really great time.
Hi.
Surprise.
What were you doing up? Were you waiting up for me? I just wanted to see how your date went.
Dad, is your-- You're his date? Yeah, and it went really well.
Think I might get lucky.
I don't think so.
Don't talk that way in front of your daughter.
What about in front of my son? Son? So we're getting a brother? Yup.
It's a boy.
We have two perfect daughters, And now we're having a son.
What did I miss? Nothing.