Dirty Sexy Money s02e12 Episode Script

Change.
Please change.
Oh, please don't let me be pregnant.
Not the answer I was looking for.
- Karen.
- Nick.
Hey.
Hello.
Hi.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry to barge in, but your mother said I could wake you up.
I guess I'm a little late.
- You're not the only one.
- What? - What? - Are you okay? I'm fine.
I'm excellent.
Why? - Come here.
- Why? - What are you doing this weekend? - I don't know.
Why? Well, I thought we could drive up to the Berkshires.
I booked a suite at the Elm Court.
Oh! Oh! - This weekend is not ideal for me.
- Okay.
- What about next weekend? - How about next month? Next month? Boy, wow, that's.
Wow, we really are taking things slow.
I know.
It's good.
Let's shoot for next month.
- Okay.
Next month it is.
- Perfect.
It's gonna be sexy.
It doesn't make any sense.
Why would Simon pick you, out of all the people in the world, to help him fake his own death? Who cares why Simon picked me? What matters is, once I do it, you will get your brother back from wherever Simors got him hidden away, and I will be your big kahuna.
That's all I'm thinking about.
And all I'm thinking about is that this is a trap.
Look, I know that you wanna be Action Jeremy, but you are world-famous for being a party boy.
You managed to fool everyone with your fake amnesia, but you're not Jason Bourne.
Hey, I am whoever I need to be to help the woman I love.
- What are you doing here? - Karen, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you.
I was just on my way to see Tripp.
Your father and I are hosting a gathering tomorrow night.
Rolling out our biofuel.
- Listen, is this a bad time? - Oh, any time I see you is a bad time.
Come on, Karen.
You're not still holding a grudge, are you? Why, because you sold me to my own father on my wedding day? Heck, no.
Okay, Karen, it all worked out for the best.
I've got half of the company and you have Nick.
Hey, listen, if you wanna let yourself off the hook, go ahead, but don't expect me to join you.
You may be able to forget little things like ruining my life, but I'm never going to, because, you see, Simon, for me it's not over.
I'm gonna remember what you did to me every single day for the rest of my life.
I was that important to you? I mean, you got married four times.
I was that important to you? There's not something going on here you're not telling me, is there? Karen, it's time for our.
Why, Mr.
Elder.
Hello.
- Hello, Letitia.
- Hello.
- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Let's just get out of here.
- Hey, wifey.
What's cooking? - Not much.
I'm working on my sermon for Sunday.
The text is First Corinthians, Chapter 13.
You know? "Love is patient.
Love is kind.
"Love endures all.
" What? So how does that work when you say a prayer at a state dinner, anyway? I mean, when you went down to Washington last week to perform the benediction at Patrick's state dinner, and you looked out over all those powerful heads, what exactly did you say? - I started with, "Dear Lord.
" - Really? You sure it wasrt, "Oh, baby, you look so hot"? What's your problem? This.
What, you wanna have sex? This isn't exactly setting a mood.
I found it in your suitcase.
What was it doing there? You know what? I don't care.
Go and use it with somebody else.
I want you out of here.
Now.
Wait a minute.
You can't throw me out of my own house.
Oh, yeah? I already cleared it with your mother, babycakes.
Watch me.
Oh, Maria, could you please pack Mr.
Darling's condoms? He's moving out.
Dr.
Louis' office, please hold.
When you're feeling up to it, I'm gonna have dinner brought in from Artisanal.
- Osso buco.
- Hmm.
The only thing I'm gonna want once I'm feeling up to it is an extremely dry triple martini.
And a time machine so I can go back to the day I met Simon and stop this whole baby mess before it started.
You're doing the right thing, dear.
Karen Darling, the doctor will see you now.
So there should be a pretty impressive turnout tomorrow.
The Port Authority is sending people, Coastal Commissioner.
- And the press? - All the journalists who at one time or another came out against the biofuel have kindly rethought their positions.
So it looks like we're ready to roll this baby out, gentlemen.
- Yeah.
Almost.
- Almost? There's a problem? Well, the partnership agreement between the two of you has obviously been executed, but we are still waiting on your signature on the final transfer of the biofuel patent to Darling Enterprises.
Oh, yeah, right.
Well, that was an oversight.
So just put the papers together, Nick, and I'll gladly sign it over.
- All right.
I'll do it later today.
- Good.
Tripp, I am proud to have you as my partner, regardless of how it began.
- Nick.
- Simon.
All right.
Take care, guys.
What's up? Mr.
Elder is about to part company with hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars.
I think, under those circumstances, that he's being extraordinarily accommodating.
I have to say, I agree.
- Well, perhaps we should find out why.
- Done.
Knock, knock.
Congressman Watley.
Sit, please.
I didn't know you were in New York City.
Yeah, wife and kids are in town for a few days, want to do a little shopping, kick-start the old economy, you know? Senator, look, I wanted to stop by and apologize for the way we left things the other day.
I realize that I misunderstood your interest in me.
That's all right.
It's fine.
I do hope that you'll take the fact that I made an advance as nothing more than a compliment, which is what it was.
- Thank you.
- Anyway, if you are interested, I would love to have dinner.
Congressman, I've already told you that I'm not.
To discuss Darling Enterprises' new biofuel initiative, Senator.
You still do need the support of the Energy Committee, don't you? - No.
- No? - Yes, I mean, of course, yes.
- Yes.
And we appreciate that support, Congressman, absolutely.
Good.
Okay, I'll check my schedule, and I'll have my office be in touch.
You do that.
- Are you sure you're all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just.
I'm a little shaky.
- What exactly went wrong? - Nothing.
I just.
You know, I couldn't go through with it.
Oh, Mom, please don't make a drama out of this.
Well, certainly not, dear.
When have you ever known me to make a drama? No, we'll get you home and draw you a bath, - and then we'll figure something out.
- I just.
I hate now that Simon is forever gonna be a part of my life.
- Oh, he won't be, dear.
I promise.
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
- It'll all be just fine.
Oh, my.
It's really coming down.
Not a good day for an abortion.
Here, I'll get it.
I'm coming.
God.
I said I'm coming.
- Brian.
- Well, don't look so happy to see me.
You going somewhere? - Here.
- Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Don't even try.
I know you have the extra room now that you're down a wife.
- Lucky bastard.
- Wait a minute.
What happened? Andrea kicked me out.
She found out about me and Mei Ling.
Well, you didn't even sleep with Mei Ling.
Yeah, I know.
She found an unopened rubber in my suitcase.
Well, we got to explain things to her.
That's ironic, huh? I went down there to have safe sex with my ex-wife, I don't have any, and I still get busted.
What are you doing? There is another bedroom in this little doll house, right? Yeah, there's Kiki's, but she uses it.
- Okay, good.
You stay there.
- Brian, come on.
This is New York City.
There are dozens of great hotels, many of which your family owns.
And I have a position to uphold, not only as a Darling but as a man of the cloth.
I check in someplace, and it's gonna be all over Page Six.
Come on, help a half-brother out.
All right, fine.
An invitation to dinner.
What possible harm could come from that? It's a date, Dad.
A man-date.
You've made your feelings clear, haven't you? You've established your orientation.
Have you not? Yeah, well, he's not the kind of gay that takes no for an answer.
Guy.
Guy.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little rattled here.
You just calm down.
I mean, look, there's got to be some other way we can push this through the committee.
We've got other contacts in Washington, right? Of course we do, but at this point, Representative Watley is still our most prominent, our most vehemently vocal critic.
If we could have his vote, if we can have his public support at the rollout tomorrow night, that would be invaluable.
But what if he gets tipsy and he starts putting the moves on me again? - Then what? - Come on.
It's a crowded restaurant.
Do the best you can, would you, Patrick? Please.
My car blew up and I was standing 20 feet away.
Yeah, right, accidents happen.
But, see, when my private investigator finds weapons-grade C-4 mixed in with the remains of my bodyguard, the old "accidents happen" theory kind of goes boom out the window.
No, I'm not accusing you.
I'm asking you an honest question.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
If you say you werert behind it, then.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I said.
- Problems? Who was that? - Don't you worry about it.
Now, what are you doing here? The question is what are you doing with Jeremy? Oh! He told you our plan.
Well, it's very simple really.
He wants to be your knight in shining armor.
You want your brother, and I have a need to make a graceful exit.
- Saw the opportunity for some synergy.
- I know you, Simon.
Your brand of synergy profits no one but you.
Find someone else to help you with your little exit strategy.
Look, Nola, I'll admit Jeremy's not an obvious choice for this kind of project, but things are difficult right now.
I'm not sure I can trust my own people.
And Jeremy's commitment to finding your brother is strong, to say the least.
No, he's the man for the job.
Unless you have someone else in mind.
Son of a bitch.
So that's your plan all along, right? Compromise Jeremy as a way of forcing me to do it? Is that your way of saying yes? Tell me where my brother is right now, and I'll do it.
Yeah, okay.
Nola, listen to me.
When my death is reported on an encrypted page of The New York Times web site, a file on this drive will open, disclosing your brother's location.
Not until.
Go on.
All right.
Here's a schematic of my building.
This.
Come here.
All right.
The whole shebang will go down tomorrow night, after the roll-out of my biofuel.
By midnight tomorrow, you will have your brother, and I will be, for all intents and purposes, dead.
- Nola Lyons.
- Nick George.
What are you doing coming out of Simon Elder's building? Oh, I was just making sure all the "I's" were dotted and the "T's" were crossed for tomorrow night.
I wanted to assure Simon that his biofuel has Patrick's long-term support.
And you came all the way across town to deliver that message in person? - That's quite a commitment.
- Well, the job demands nothing less.
You of all people should know that.
Excuse me.
- So where do I sign? - Here.
Here and here.
Wow.
Ten years of hard work has finally paid off.
So what if I have to share the credit with Tripp Darling, right? The world's a better place, and I'm a satisfied man.
- And you must be, too.
- What do you mean? Unless I'm mistaken, I think congratulations are in order.
I'd suggest we have a cigar, but I don't think you're really a cigar-smoking kind of guy.
What are you talking about? - Karen hasn't told you? - Hasrt told me what? You know what? I'll let her tell you herself.
The last thing I want is to ruin the surprise.
Karen, come out of there.
I had Maria make some whoopie pies, chocolate and pumpkin, your favorite.
Come out.
What am I gonna do? - Well, do you wanna have the baby? - This baby, this way? I mean, God, Mom, Nick and I, we were finally on the verge of something, and now I'm pregnant with my crazy ex-boyfriend's baby.
No, I don't wanna have this baby.
- So do you want.
- No.
No, I can't do that, either.
I mean, what if this is my only chance? Well, then your options are severely limited.
You can only be unappy.
- So, what are you gonna do? - I don't know.
I just.
I don't know.
Being rich doesn't protect you from anything, does it? No, dear.
It doesn't.
Not at all.
- Patrick.
- Charles.
I am so glad that you could make it.
- And you must be.
- This is my wife.
This is Dana.
This is Patrick.
I've heard wonderful things.
You have my Charles under a spell.
- Lovely to meet you.
- Please, sit down.
So the kids are at the hotel with the nanny.
- They're watching a movie, so.
- I crashed.
I hope you don't hate me.
Not at all.
More the merrier.
What the hell's going on? You went behind my back? I am not gonna let Simon hurt you.
- I can take care of myself.
- No, you can't.
Simon walked me through the plan, the broken window pane in the sub-basement, the code that supposedly disables the security cameras.
My guess is that it goes straight to the police.
He's trying to frame you.
Okay, fine, let's say it's a set-up.
Then why is you being the rat in Simon Elder's maze any better than me? A, I know my way around that building better than you do.
- Okay.
- B, his people know me.
If they catch me, I can justify my presence.
- That's true.
- And C, it's just the way it has to be.
Okay? I lost my father to Simon.
I've nearly lost my brother.
I won't lose you, too.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Manufacturing this fuel is safer than you think, Charles.
- The environmental impact studies.
- What, Patrick? What? The environmental impact studies that you're basing your statements on don't tell the whole story, not by a long shot.
What about the flash point? Yeah, what about the flash point? Sounds hot.
Is there any way that you could push the flash point up? Yeah, can you push it up a bit, Pat? When something goes wrong, this stuff burns like crazy, and I'm not going to have an uncontrollable blaze at the foot of Manattan.
Yeah, a blaze to the foot would be bad.
Boom.
Charles, my parents are hosting a little soiree at their place tomorrow night for investors, potential partners.
We would love it if you two could come.
Well, then, maybe we will.
There's Jack.
Jack! I'll just be a second.
Charles, good to see you.
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm giving you a present, silly.
Your panties? What am I supposed to do with these? - Here you go.
- Thank you, Hannah.
Only the best steak in town, am I right? Hear, hear.
Sweetheart, I'm gonna have the driver bring the car around, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
There's something you'd like to say to me? My husband hasn't touched me in over 10 years.
Dana, stop it.
- Why? - Because I can't do this, even though I would really like to.
Kiss me good night, please.
- That was a mistake.
- Best mistake I've made in years.
Here he comes.
Sweetheart, it is time to hit the old road.
Don't forget tomorrow night, my parents' place.
Take care.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I didn't see you there.
- Here I am.
- I got your message.
Sorry I didn't call you back.
It's been a crazy day.
I see.
- Can we talk? - About what? About the good news.
Simon congratulated me, and he mentioned good news and cigars, and since I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, I thought maybe you could fill me in.
I'm pregnant.
Okay.
And you told him that the baby's mine? Because it's impossible.
- We haven't had sex.
- No, I didn't tell Simon anything.
- So, what? He's just guessing about.
- I don't know.
Trust me, he's the last person I would tell.
Because it's his, isn't it? - It's Simors baby.
- Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me? I mean, don't you think this is information that I would find kind of relevant? Excuse me, I'm a little freaked out right now, and I'm pretty scared of what this is gonna do to us.
- Can you do this with me? - Can I? I know.
I know, honey.
It's not easy, and I know this isn't how something should start out.
But nothing we've ever done has gone according to plan, has it? I've waited so long, Nick, you know that, so long for us.
So have I, Karen.
Look, I love you.
This is why I didn't tell you.
Well, this is a hell of a thing for me to wrap my mind around.
Forgive me if I can't just say yes immediately.
Okay.
Well, then, can you say yes ever? I don't know.
I'm sorry.
But I don't know.
Am I only dreamir Or is this burning Brian.
An eternal flame - Brian! - What? Take those damn things off.
I beg you.
What do you want? I was working.
Look, I had to listen to you sing all night long.
Just enough already.
Just helps me concentrate.
I'm working on this sermon.
Would you listen to this? It's about love.
"Love never seeks its own way.
- "Love is.
" - What the hell is this? - It's coffee.
It's your free-trade swill.
- Yeah, well, it tastes like bleach.
Well, I cleaned out the coffee maker with bleach, 'cause it was dirty.
This place is a pig sty.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry that I don't have a full-time staff of cooks and maids like you're used to at home, Brian.
Maybe you should have thought of that before you invaded.
No, maybe you should have frigging hired somebody! Planning, Nick.
It's key! - Look.
- Nick! What? Will you talk to her for me? - Please? Thanks.
- All right, I will, but.
Now, sometimes life surprises you and creates a path where there was never one before.
This partnership with Tripp Darling, Darling Enterprises was, for me, one such surprise.
So together, we thank you for joining us tonight to celebrate the launch of MPG 5000, a 21 st century biofuel which, with the help of visionary friends here and in Washington, of course, will be ready for production at the end of the year.
To MPG 5000, the fuel of the future.
- Jeremy.
- Hey.
Nick.
Right? Yeah, listen.
What do you know about Simon Elder and Nola Lyons? Nola works for Patrick, and Simon works with Dad.
Are you sure she doesn't have any ties with Simon that pre-exist both those relationships? I don't know, remember? Me got the amnesia.
- Knock it off, Jeremy.
- What? - Look, I know you don't have amnesia.
- Come on.
I do.
I forget stuff.
Hey, hey, hey.
We don't have to discuss it.
Okay? Just tell me the truth, is there a connection between Nola and Simon? Okay.
They might both be in Oprah's Book Club together, - but other than that, I don't know.
- Thanks a lot, Jeremy.
Congressman.
Mrs.
Watley.
I'm so glad you decided to attend.
We are, too.
Miss me? Hello, Congressman.
- Hello, Tripp.
- Mrs.
Watley.
I'm so pleased that my son was able to persuade you to join us tonight.
Happy to lend our support.
Timing is everything.
Well, if you could spare me a minute, I'd like to introduce you to my associate, Simon Elder.
Certainly.
Certainly.
You can handle my wife, right? I'll do my best.
- Be back in a little bit, sweetie.
- Okay.
- Hey, there's my favorite girl.
- Hi, Nick.
How's it going? You know he's moved in with me, right? Yeah, of course.
He's the father of my son.
- I need to know where he is.
- Just take him back.
Not on your life.
Andrea, look, nothing happened between he and Mei Ling Hwa, I swear.
- I don't care, Nick.
- Well, I can't live with him, period.
Well, you're gonna have to, because until Brian grows up and realizes that being in a relationship doesn't mean zigzagging between saving and betraying somebody, but that it's actually about being continually present and continually faithful, I'm not gonna take him back.
Andrea.
All right, fine, but he's going to a hotel, because I don't care what the papers say.
Nick, he could've always gone to a hotel.
The papers don't matter.
Don't you get it? Of all the places in the world that he could have run to and of all the people, he chose you.
Yeah.
Lucky me.
He's your half-brother.
Deal with him.
It's very impressive.
I'm looking forward to my next fill-up.
Do not give me your panties here.
That's impossible.
I'm not wearing any.
The Argyle Hotel.
Room 909.
Come see me later.
Everything but the door will be wide open.
Whoa.
Scotch.
Lowland.
Eighteen year.
- I have a drink, thank you.
- Yeah, what is that? Mmm.
Ginger ale.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I'm trying to stay sober so I don't do something foolish like kill you.
- Excuse me.
- So how far along are we? Six weeks? Oh! Into our breakup? I don't know.
Honestly, I haven't been keeping track.
How far are we into our pregnancy? Come here.
How did you know? I didn't.
Not for certain.
Not until just now.
I mean, I figured it wasrt Nick's, given his reaction.
So, what were you thinking? That you were gonna have this baby and I would never find out? Simon, you broke my heart.
- Why don't you just leave me alone? - Because things have changed.
You're pregnant with my baby, and you tried to hide it from me.
This changes everything.
I'm not gonna let you within 10 feet of this baby, Simon.
See, sweetheart, that's not your decision to make.
I swear to you, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll always be a part of this baby's life, and there's nothing you or your family can do to stop me.
Nothing.
Where's Nola? Don't worry.
She'll be at your place, 11:00.
- You'll get dead.
Don't worry.
- There's been a change of plans.
What, you just wanna be maimed? I've decided not to die, Jeremy, at least not yet.
I'm calling it off.
Tell your girl.
Wait a second.
I thought you needed to flee.
Well, something important has happened now - that makes me need to stick around.
- What? Don't you worry about that.
You'll hear about it soon enough.
Hey, to mergers and unexpected arrivals.
To your family.
And to mine.
Hey, so you spoke to Andrea.
What'd she say? Is she missing me? Not exactly.
- God, she's a bitch.
- Look, she's not a bitch, Brian.
You just.
You hurt her feelings, and now she doesn't trust you.
Hey, I know this is unorthodox, but you are a man of the cloth.
- Can I confide in you? - Well, you can give it a shot.
We'll see.
Come here.
Karers pregnant.
- Holy.
- Yeah, I know.
- And it's yours? - No.
Well, whose is it? Well, I guess it could be half the Fortune 500's, right? - It's Simon Elder's.
- Oh, man, give me a.
Hey, Brian, and she still wants me to be with her.
What? And raise the devil's spawn? Yeah.
Something like that.
Well, you know, I seem to remember when our plane was about to crash, you did say something to her about being the one.
Look, I thought we were gonna die, Brian.
But was it true? Yeah.
It was true.
- You know what the Good Book says.
- What? Love is patient.
Love is kind.
- Love endures all things.
- Love endures all things.
My guess is it at least tries.
I'll see you at home.
Great news.
- Tell me.
- We got the stand-down order.
I just got word from Simon.
He's like Scrooge on Christmas morning, bubbling with life.
- What did he say, exactly? - He called the whole thing off.
No fake break-in.
No fake kidnapping.
No fake murder.
Done.
Let's go back to my room and celebrate.
- Wait, no, this doesn't make any sense.
- What? My brother.
This is my only chance to get him back.
His plan may be off, but mine is still on.
- Okay.
Then I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Look, Nick is out there asking questions, and Simon is a freak.
I'm not gonna let something bad happen to you.
I'm not saying you can't be Lara Croft.
Just let me be your Terry Sheridan.
Who? - Congressman.
- Senator.
Great party.
Thank you.
Got a minute? Look, Patrick, if this is about your little biofuel thing, don't worry about it.
- You got my vote.
- I know that, and we are all very grateful to you for that.
But seeing as how we're both on the same side now, - I just don't really know how to.
- Hey, spit it out.
- It's about your wife.
- What about my wife? The other night, at dinner, um, she kissed me, and it was all very innocent, and, I, of course, I stopped her right away, but I just wanted you to.
- I'm sorry.
- I am serious.
I don't want this to become a problem.
No, Senator, I know that you're serious, but believe me, this, this is not a problem.
What are you saying? Dana and I love each other very much.
All right? We're partners in every aspect of our lives except for one, so we have a little arrangement.
Now, if we meet a great guy that she and I both like, we hope that maybe he likes one of us.
Now, you obviously were not into me, so Dana and I had a little talk about it and figured.
What are you telling me? You want me to sleep with your wife? She gave you the key to the hotel room, right? - Right? - Yeah.
You use that key, Senator, because I certainly will not be sleeping there tonight.
Karen.
What do you want? What do you want? What? Hey.
Hey, what is wrong? What happened? Simon knows the baby's his, and he says he's not gonna leave me alone.
He wants to be a part of the baby's life no matter what, and I don't even know what I want anymore.
Hey, calm down.
Karen, please, just stop.
Nick, this is not your problem.
You said so yourself.
Well, I also said that I love you, and I do, and I wanna help.
So let me take care of this for you.
Hey, I can take care of this.
- What are you gonna do? - I will talk to Simon, and I will let him know that it is in his best interest to stay the hell away.
All right? Can't figure out the access code.
"Swan" doesn't seem to work.
Try "jewelry.
" I didn't bring you along for comic relief.
I need to open up a video link with my brother, so that we can find out where he is and then.
Jeremy, hide.
What are you doing here? Your idiot boyfriend didn't give you my message, did he? My brother, where is he? Okay, you made a mistake in coming here, a big mistake.
How you gonna come.
Dude.
- Good.
You're awake.
- Now you glad I came along? Yeah.
Just keep looking for that access code.
You two better hurry up, because my people will be here any minute now.
You gave your people the night off, remember? Or didn't you? Told you it was a set-up.
Hey, Jeremy, I tell you what.
If you untie me now I promise I won't kill her or the kid.
- There's hope for you yet.
- Nola.
Bottom of the drawer comes out.
I found it.
I found the access code.
Hello? - Dana? - Hey.
Dana, I've been going through a bit of a tough time lately.
I recently lost my wife, as you know, and someone else to whom I was very close.
And, look, I know I came all the way here, but I just.
I don't know if I'm ready for something like this.
It's okay.
You don't need to explain, Patrick.
Thank you.
It's just sex.
Here we go.
Listen.
Come on.
Hurry up.
We got to get out of here before his Russian circus freaks show up.
It's processing.
You know, for a computer gazillionaire, your Internet is surprisingly slow.
It's coming on.
Something's happening.
Oh, my God.
Justin! Justin! It's him.
Hello? Nola, is that you? Hi.
Hi.
Are you all right? Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
- What the hell just happened, Simon? - I have no idea.
He must have been in a hurry to get somewhere.
Where is he? Tell me where he is right now! - I have no.
- Where the hell is he? Oh! I swear to God, I will kill you.
Oh, jeez.
Jeez Louise.
This is not good.
Nick.
What the hell is going on here?