The Secret Life of the American Teenager s02e16 Episode Script
Just Say Me
Maybe I can.
This is Jimmy.
Can I call you? My name is Amy.
Why don't I just call you Pimento? I've said everything I can think of to say to her.
Why don't you just drive the two hours and see Robbie and talk to her in person? I'm sorry I cheated on you.
I can't take it if you cheat on me again.
Did you give Adrian money? She came to me.
You must be Maria.
It's nice to meet you, Amy.
I've heard a lot about you.
You didn't tell me you broke up with her.
It was time.
I want to have a boyfriend, and I don't think you're going to be my boyfriend.
So you don't want to go out? No.
Want to go back with me? We haven't resolved anything.
I want to be Amy's friend.
You really are in love with Ricky, aren't you? I guess it's about time that we both realized we are a family, even though you and I aren't a couple.
Just hold on.
I have another call.
Hello? Are you in the kitchen? Would you bring me a glass of water? I'm not in the kitchen.
What are you doing? I'm on the phone.
Sorry.
Ames? Dad, are you near the kitchen? I'm in bed.
That's near the kitchen.
Why? I need a glass of water.
I'm thirsty.
You're thirsty, huh? Yeah.
Please get me a glass of water.
Dad, I'm really tired, I'm thirsty, and I think I'm getting a cold.
I miss Mom.
I need Mom.
Mom would get me a glass of water.
I remember when you were a little girl and you'd call out, asking for a glass of water, when all you really wanted was someone to talk to.
No, that's not it.
I'm thirsty.
Are you sure you don't want me to read to you? What are you reading? It's a magazine about motorcycles.
You don't care about motorcycles.
No.
You miss Ben? No.
I just wanted a glass of water.
Never mind.
I'm on my way.
Puppies, huh? I'm getting the water.
I just want to finish this article first.
I swear, she's fine.
She's thirsty, but she's fine.
Why can't you get her some water? Why can't you move to Italy to be with Maria and stop calling me about your ex-girlfriend? We may have broken up, Amy and me, but I still care about her.
Then you get her some water.
She's not stranded in the Gobi desert.
She's just in her room.
She's a mom.
She needs help.
Help her.
You need help.
Hi, Ben.
Hey, I've got something that you can do for Amy.
Yes, anything.
What can I do? She wants some water.
Are they out of water? No.
She's just tired.
She's in her room, and she needs water.
Gas? No gas? What? Oh, right.
Bubbles, no bubbles.
Um, no bubbles.
Yeah, let's play it safe.
Tap water is fine.
Amy's green.
I'm on it.
[phone ringing.]
I can't talk right now, Grace.
I have to get Amy some water.
It's not Grace.
It's me, honey.
Oh.
Sorry, Tom.
I have to go, but I will call you back.
Promise.
When? What? When will you call me back? Tomorrow.
You said that last time.
Okay, I'm not going to call you tomorrow.
I told you, I'm very grateful for the loan, but I've paid you back, and there was nothing more to it than that.
No, there's more to it than that.
Tom.
I broke up with Tammy for you, and now, I'm lonely.
Then call Tammy.
I have to go.
No phone sex there.
[phone ringing.]
Yes.
Grace? It's me.
Am I interrupting sex for you? I don't have anyone to have sex with, Tom.
Good.
Good night.
[knocking at door.]
I brought this for Amy, so put that down.
I got it.
Hi, Amy.
Here's your water.
What? How did you know I wanted water? Um, it's late and you're in bed.
I just figured you wanted water.
I'm your friend, Amy.
I know these things.
My family called you and asked you to bring me water? Are they that lazy? No, no, really.
Your family didn't call me.
Ben called me.
You know, he still loves you.
You could still get him back, if you want.
You're much prettier than that Italian whore who came over here and made an idiot out of herself.
It's over.
If that's how you feel, then I'm totally behind you.
Get out there and find yourself a new guy.
And I don't say that to try to keep you away from Ricky.
He and I are totally solid.
I say that because I'm your friend, and once I'm someone's friend, that's it.
It's for life.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the brownies and the CD and the new pencils and the gel inserts for my shoes.
Aren't they great? Yeah, they're great.
And isn't it great that we're friends? Oh, yeah.
Yes, finally.
Now will you call Ricky and tell him? I don't have a cell phone.
Yes, I will call him.
Now? Have a sip of your water first if you want.
Hey.
Is everything okay? I just wanted to call and let you know that Adrian and I are friends.
Good night.
Good night.
This is a bad omen.
* Falling in love * * Is such an easy thing to do * * Birds can do it We can do it * * Let's stop talking Let's get to it * * Let's fall in love * [all.]
Good morning.
So how are things going? It's going fine, isn't it, Madison? Jack and I aren't dating.
Oh, no.
What happened? It's not because of me, is it? Oh, no, no, no.
It's just-- Well, Jack and I are just friends.
and nothing more.
Right, Jack? If you say so.
I'll see you girls later.
Why don't you take him back? No, you can have him.
Oh, no.
He's not right for me.
All he wants is sex.
I'm really looking for a relationship.
I want to be in love.
Tell me about it.
Who are you talking about? Jack? I told Grace she should take him back.
Yeah, you should, Grace.
He really likes you.
He was just going out with Madison for sex.
Yeah, I told her.
I think he was dating me for the same reason.
Hey, what's going on? Madison is trying to give Jack back to Grace.
He's not property to be given or taken, and I don't want him back.
How are you doing without Ben? Okay.
How's the new boyfriend? You have a new boyfriend? Jimmy.
It's her mom's boyfriend's son.
That doesn't sound right.
Isn't that incest? Not yet.
It was a joke.
I was just joking.
We're not sleeping together.
We're not related.
He's not really my brother.
Yeah, or your boyfriend.
Did you break up with Jimmy, too? Too? I didn't break up with Ben.
Ben broke up with me.
There you are, girlfriend.
I was looking for you.
Amy and I are friends.
Did she loan you money, too? I apologized for that.
I borrowed money from Tom to pay for a window I broke when I threw my cell phone through it.
What? I was just trying to throw it at Ricky.
He was cheating on me.
What's new? He's always cheating on you.
Yeah, but that's because he's looking for that special girl who will get along with Amy.
And so I made a promise to try and get along with Amy.
And I'm getting along with Amy.
Aren't I, Amy? I love Amy.
And I love John.
I love this.
So wait, this is supposed to make Ricky stop cheating on you? Ricky is never going to stop cheating.
No guys can cheat if he doesn't have a woman to cheat with.
And if no girls would have sex with Ricky Or Jack.
Or Ben.
My point is, guys wouldn't cheat if they didn't have someone to cheat with, but there's always someone willing to do it.
Yeah, someone always is, and it's not always me.
No, it's not.
Well, what are we supposed to do? Not do it.
And we all know how hard it is not to do it, so What's going on over there? I don't know, but whatever it is can't be good.
When did Adrian become friends with Amy? Last week.
Her dad made her.
He had some crazy idea that I cheat on Adrian because I'm looking for a girl who'll get along with Amy.
Wow, that's great.
Great nothing.
I don't want my girlfriend and the mother of my baby to be friends.
Adrian used to put a lot of effort into sex because she was trying to keep me from Amy.
And that was a good thing-- For me, anyway.
Now all she wants to do is talk about our relationship and intimacy and feelings and crap.
We don't even have time for sex.
What are you saying? You're breaking up with Adrian? No, why? Aren't you and Madison Nope.
Buon giorno.
I told you to drop that.
I can't.
It's the only thing I have left of Maria.
So you're going to try to get Amy back? No, I'm good.
I'm fine.
Fine? You weren't having sex while you were with her, and now you're not having sex without her.
How are you good? How can everything be fine? Because now I have hope that I will have sex.
When I was with Amy, there was no hope.
Maria was a confidence booster.
Madison was a confidence killer.
We fooled around a couple times, and now she doesn't want to go out with me.
You're batting 0 for 2.
At least I'm batting.
Touché.
I got to get in the game.
Oh, no.
I don't know what's going on over there, but whatever it is, it's not good for you guys.
Go over there and find out what it is.
Please? I'll see you later.
Never thought it would be me, huh? What's going on? Nothing.
Grace thinks she's invented something.
I didn't say that.
No, she didn't say that at all.
I just don't agree with it.
Have you ever tried it? Of course I've tried it.
Maybe you should try it again.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this before band camp? Why would someone have to tell you about it? What? Okay, what's the only kind of sex you can have any time you want, without any fear of getting an STD or pregnant, or getting involved with a guy you don't want? Masturbation.
I hate that word.
Really, Dr.
Bowman? It's just a word.
We need a new word, a nicer way of saying it, because the M-word is just-- I don't know, I can't recommend it and use that word.
And believe me, I recommend it.
Oh, we believe you.
So what do you guys think about "just say me," as a kind of code for the M-word? Kind of a campaign amongst all us girls.
As a substitute for sex, not a substitute for relationships.
Don't you like it? Just say me.
Compared to "Just Say No," it's so much more positive and practical, not to mention the other benefits, too.
Studies show that it lowers blood pressure, aids sleep, promotes relaxation.
Really, I don't see a problem when used in moderation.
What? You know the 52% of guys who aren't having sex in high school? You just went over to their team.
Me too? Not you, Hank.
You're with me.
So none of them are going to have sex? No, they're going to have sex.
Just not with you guys.
Of course, Alice isn't participating, so Well, not like I was having sex, but if this whole campaign catches on, then I'm never going to have sex.
This is bad for us, for this high school, for high schools in general.
Did you find out what the girls are up to? Just say me.
What does that mean? Just say me.
You? No, not me, and not you.
Not any guy.
What? It was Grace's idea.
The girls are going to take care of themselves.
That won't last.
It could.
It won't.
They all want to be in relationships.
Sex is our way of making them think they're in a relationship.
Their little campaign's not going to work.
Any news from the other camp? They're staging a revolution.
They're swearing off sex.
No, not swearing off sex.
Swearing off sex with guys.
They're lesbians now? No, they're just looking after themselves.
It was Grace's idea.
Thanks, Jack.
I'm sorry, but you know Grace.
When she likes something, she gets behind it 1,000%.
She approached religion and sex with equal enthusiasm.
But not to blow my own horn-- She's not going to replace me with that.
They're calling that "just say me.
" Really? Really.
Alice says it's already all over school.
It's all the girls are talking about.
Great.
Just say me.
I like that.
It's catchy.
It's empowering.
It means so much more than-- The M-word.
It's about taking control of your life and those hormones that lead you to make bad choices.
Get in there and do something before this gets out of control.
Like what? Talk to her.
What am I supposed to say? Tell her you want to get back with her.
Tell her you're in love or something.
Do it for all of us.
For all of you.
Oh, jeez.
What? You go talk to Adrian.
She's sitting over there, all by herself.
You talk to her, she talks to Grace.
Grace isn't going to listen to me.
Hey, what's up? Nothing-- And nothing's going to be up.
Not for a long, long time.
Oh, come on.
You're not supporting this "just say me" idea, are you? I don't know.
I'll let you know in the morning.
All right, let me know in the morning.
But last time you held out on me, I went somewhere else.
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Hi.
I'd invite you to sit down, but I saved the table for Amy, Madison and Lauren, so That's quite a show you're putting on with Amy, but no one's buying it.
Maybe not, but I figure if I just act like her friend long enough, then I'll be her friend.
I seriously doubt that "just say me" is going to stop anyone from having sex with a partner.
Yeah, you're right.
And technically, it's always been an option.
So has just say no, but this is different from just say no.
Just say no was passive.
This is active.
I think people are going to jump all over this.
Frankly, I think it's a very personal choice.
And we're all friends.
We can talk about this with each other, but I don't think Grace is going to be able to launch any big campaign at school.
I mean, come on.
I completely agree with Amy.
So you're enrolling in the plan? It's not a plan.
It's a scheme.
I don't like schemes, hijinks or shenanigans.
I don't like pitting women against men, or men against women.
There's no war between the sexes.
We're all just people.
And I don't want to separate myself from half the population.
You know, I like men.
I love men.
I do too, but I also love myself, if you know what I mean.
What's the latest? It's spreading like wildfire.
It's got a life of its own.
This is crazy.
Why does this have to happen to me right as I'm free and ready to get out there? There's always Bologna.
Take me with you next time.
Or me.
Not me.
Whatever you do, don't take me.
Ever.
Watch it, Hank, or I'll be saying "just say me.
" Like you don't? Like you don't? Excuse me, excuse me.
Where did you get that? From the "just say me" guy, Joe.
But I'm the "just say me" guy.
Could I talk to you for a sec? That's mine.
Joe has no right to make those stickers.
He's going to make a fortune.
That's money that should go to TAG, the Teen Abstinence Group.
Grace Bowman, you are so kicked out of TAG.
What? You can't kick her out of TAG.
My father's the head of the church, and he makes all the decisions.
Oh, yeah? He's not the president of TAG.
I am.
I make the decisions.
And Jesus never said "just say me.
" He said "just say no.
" Jesus never said "just say no.
" Nancy Reagan said "just say no.
" Regardless, you're out.
Couldn't you have sex with me instead of all this? I don't want to have sex with you.
I don't like all the complications that come from having sex with you.
And it makes me feel guilty.
Just say me doesn't? No, it doesn't.
There's nothing wrong with it.
They can't kick me out of TAG for this if they didn't kick me out for having sex with you.
Grace, "just say me" is not something everybody's comfortable with.
Okay, but everyone's comfortable with everyone having sex with everyone else? Yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
No, it does.
Sex is sex.
A lot of people believe you should only have sex if you're married, and you can't marry yourself.
Therefore, you can't have sex with yourself without breaking some rules.
I'm pretty sure.
Well, I'm pretty sure you break the rules all the time.
Guys break the rules all the time.
But for some reason, nobody likes it when the girls break the rules.
Yeah, because if you break the rules, you might not want to have sex with us.
Exactly.
You might actually have to fall in love and make a commitment to get a girl to have sex with you.
So until then, I'm saying "just say me.
" Just say me.
[girls chant.]
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Basically, I was ahead of my time.
I just failed to come up with the slogan.
Would you take that stuff off? It's embarrassing.
What's embarrassing about it? We're going out together.
We're having sex.
Great sex.
That doesn't stop me.
Does it stop you? Okay, well, I don't advertise it.
Come on, just take the stickers off.
No.
Alice, either take those stickers off, or-- Or what? Or I'm never having sex with you again.
You made your choice.
Now live with it.
Wait, wait.
Her mother told her to do it.
Her mother? Yup.
Jack told me.
My mother told me about it.
Not about Grace's mother telling her, but about "just say me.
" My mother never said anything about it.
And just because I got pregnant having sex with a guy doesn't mean I now have to restrict myself to " just say me.
" I don't know if I even want to have sex with me.
Why should you? No one else does.
Funny.
Mom never talked to you about anything like that, about "just say me," has she? You've seen her boyfriend.
David, right? I don't think she knows anything about it.
Grace's mom is the one who told her about it.
She's the one who came up with the whole "just say me" idea.
I'm not surprised.
Don't forget, Grace's mom was married to our dad.
I have to go.
Got to go by the band room and get to the church nursery.
See you.
Hey, girlfriend.
What are we doing? I'm going to work.
What are you doing? I'll just be hanging out, waiting for you to get home.
You don't have to do that.
By the time I get home from work, Ricky will probably be home from work, too, and I know how much you like seeing Ricky, so I'll take care of John by myself tonight, and Ricky can go straight over to your house.
No, he's not coming over.
I'm totally supporting that "just say me" campaign, so he's not going to be interested in coming over.
Well, if you're going to be supporting the "just say me" campaign, and I'm going to be supporting the "just say me" campaign, I guess we won't have time for you to come over and hang out.
Oh, we have time.
Adrian, it's okay.
Really.
You don't have to be my friend.
We don't have to be friends.
And even if we were friends, I don't think I'd be comfortable with you around John.
At least, not any time soon.
I haven't even let my two best friends that I've known since the third grade baby-sit him.
I almost did, once or twice, but it's hard to trust anyone other than Ricky.
I get it, sister.
I do.
But you trust Ricky with him, so maybe soon you'll trust Ricky and me with him, once you get to know me better.
Regardless of how well I know you, I would be jealous of you and Ricky with him.
He's my son.
I don't want another woman in my son's life.
What about Ricky? You mind another woman in Ricky's life? I'm his girlfriend.
The father of your baby's girlfriend.
Adrian, we need to talk.
I have to go.
If you're my girlfriend, then you're sleeping with me.
Don't try that approach.
I don't like it.
We've been having sex for over a year.
You can't have sex one day and then not have it the next day, and then change your mind and then want it again and then not.
Yes, I can.
Adrian.
Ricky.
Come on, you're not like those other girls.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Well, maybe I want to be.
Why? Why would you want to be like them? You love having sex with guys, with me.
You don't need "just say me.
" It's not a matter of need, is it? Maybe if I had girlfriends, real girlfriends, I would have never slept with you in the first place.
And maybe if I hadn't slept with you, I would know if you really loved me or not.
And if you really love me, then I wouldn't care if you spent all the time in the world with Amy and John, because they wouldn't be a threat to me.
But as it is, I have to prostitute myself out to Amy, just so I can please everyone.
I don't like pleasing everyone.
I like pleasing me.
I like pleasing you, too.
Come on, Adrian.
Oh, hey, let me grab that.
Uh, thanks, but I got it.
Okay.
Oh.
You even got the sticker.
Someone else put them there.
I didn't.
Well, just so you know, I support that 1,000%, your not having sex with guys.
Do you? Why is that? Because Because it would kill me if you did.
Because Because even though we're just friends now, I still wouldn't want you to have sex with any other guy.
What a friendly thing to say.
But not every guy in high school wants to have sex and insists on having sex with his girlfriend.
Oh, yeah? Name one.
I don't know one, but I'm going to find one.
In the meantime, it's just say me.
In the meantime? When you find that one-- When you find that elusive guy who doesn't want to have sex, you're going to be saying, "Just say me," every night.
I know.
I've been there.
Shy.
Oh, hi, Jack.
"Just say me.
" You too? Are you serious? Of course.
I think every woman should focus on herself.
You know, that's how I got to where I am today.
You know what that means, right? Just say me? I don't know what it means to other girls, but to me it means not putting anyone's dreams ahead of your own, not giving into drugs or alcohol, respecting yourself.
All righty.
Well, have a good evening.
Nice going.
I think he bought it.
Guys are such idiots.
I know.
Hi, Mom.
Hi.
There you are.
Sit down.
Am I in trouble? Oh, yeah.
Just say me? Is that about what I said? Am I wrong? That's neither here nor there? This isn't about what's right or wrong.
This is about what's appropriate in high school.
Oh, come on.
You said you like to dance.
You can't like to dance and not like to-- Okay, Grace.
Please.
I mean, just because a person likes to dance, doesn't mean anything.
I mean, just that a person likes to dance.
Well, she's that person.
I do like to dance, as well as do other things.
However, this has gotten out of hand.
Bad choice of words.
Well, what do you want us to do? I mean, do you want me to call all the other parents and apologize? You're going to call the parents of 2,000 students and apologize for suggesting that they just say me.
There's nothing to apologize for.
This is a good thing.
I mean, I didn't know it was going to get around school like this, but when it did-- You didn't know? Grace, did you put the stickers and bumper stickers and magnets everywhere? No, Joe did.
He's selling them.
Yeah, do you know how much money he's making? A guy making money off my slogan, your idea.
Grace, I didn't mean for you to share this with the entire school.
Does the entire school know that I-- Do it? No, that I talk to my daughter about this? Yes.
Well, I'm going to get kicked out of church.
I got kicked out of TAG.
Yeah, but not for this.
Yeah, can you believe it? TAG? Teen Abstinence Group at church.
Is it abstinence if you just say me? We don't know.
We don't make up the rules.
Yeah, we don't even follow the rules.
But we're not the only Christians who don't.
The point is, we try to do good things, and this is a good thing.
Yeah, well, trying to do good things doesn't always work.
I was trying to do a good thing by taking a student to the prom.
He was getting teased mercilessly all year for never having had a date in high school.
The kids were calling him "the eunuch.
" I hated those kids and I hated that school, so when he asked me, I accepted.
And that's what got me here today.
And trying to do good has the two of you joining me here.
So you're going to have to remove all the stickers, et cetera, from the hallway.
Or I can suspend you, Grace.
Although I doubt either of you would mind spending more time at home, alone.
There you go.
High school.
What's going on? The ladies are removing all the stickers.
That's right.
We can't have a "just say me" campaign.
It's inappropriate.
I get it.
It's bigger than high school, much, much bigger.
I heard the plan is that no one's supposed to be with a guy for a week.
Yeah, well, I don't have a guy.
I don't have a guy, either.
Lots of girls don't have guys.
And if you ask me, we spend way too much time thinking about guys.
Yeah, maybe, but I would like to have a guy.
Okay, well, with or without a guy, I guess "just say me" is valid.
I'd be too embarrassed to "just say me.
" You would have me film you giving birth, but you wouldn't "just say me" when you're alone and no one's around and no one would ever know? I don't believe you.
Okay.
Maybe I have.
Then again, maybe I haven't.
It's a very personal decision.
Ah, it's a decision? You're happy, you laugh, you're sad, you cry.
You feel like "just say me, " it's not a decision.
I don't do anything without thinking about it.
Really? Have you met your son? Hi.
[both.]
Hey, Dad.
I think this is the first time I've come in on a conversation between you two, and you stopped talking.
Don't say anything.
I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever it is, whatever secret you're sharing, I'm just so happy that the two of you are acting like sisters-- Sisters sharing secrets, being sisters.
It's a milestone in your sistership.
Wish I had a camera.
This is great.
I'll just go to my room and stay there, alone.
Me, too.
Maybe I will, too.
Anne? Hi, how are you? I'm great.
Look, I know you don't want to talk to me, and I'm probably keeping you from your boyfriend up there-- If you are seeing someone.
And I hope not, because I love you and want you back.
I just came in on the girls.
They were sitting in the kitchen, talking.
And just as I came in, they got completely quiet, the two of them.
They've got some secret they're talking about.
Isn't that great? Do you know what they're talking about? No.
You know what they're talking about? Yes.
Amy called me.
And? They're talking about masturbation.
Oh, jeez, why did you tell me that? I don't know.
Because it's the truth? I don't care about the truth.
Jeez, I'm going to have to live in my room.
I'll never be able to look them in the face again.
Why were they talking about that? Well, it seems that your ex-wife-- Who's dating a younger man, by the way-- Suggested it to Grace as something to do instead of having sex.
What? Yup.
That woman's crazy.
She doesn't do that.
All women do it.
No, they don't.
Maybe if she had, she wouldn't have cheated on me.
That could have stopped that.
I doubt it.
Women do it for the same reason that men do it- Because they want to.
And I think I'm going to talk to Amy and Ashley about it, because I think it's fine if they want to do that until they're older, until they get in the right relationship, or it's the right time.
Until then, or even after then, I think it's perfectly okay.
Isn't this nice? Just having a conversation about masturbation like we're two normal people.
It is nice.
How's Mimsy? She's not doing well, George.
Her memory's fading fast.
Oh.
That's too bad, Anne.
I'm sorry.
I love Mimsy.
Yeah.
I do, too.
She thinks that Robbie is Amy or Ashley when they were babies, and it takes me back to the years when we were first married and she came and helped out with the girls.
But even if she doesn't know who Robbie is sometimes, and even me sometimes, it's still nice to see my mom with him.
He's never going to know her.
At least, not how she was.
Look, Anne, I'm not going to beg you to come home.
I've done that enough already.
And you know how badly I feel about everything.
If I thought you were up there just for your old boyfriend, I'd come up and do something stupid like punch him in the nose.
But I don't know what to do, since it's about your mother and you and me and our family and life in general.
It's about all that, and more.
Good night, Anne.
Good night, George.
Oh, hey George.
Yeah? What are you wearing? Nothing.
Good night, George.
Good night, Anne.
* ["Mr.
Sandman".]
* Don't have nobody to call my own * * Please turn on your magic beam * * Mr.
Sandman, bring me a dream * * Bum, bum, bum, bum * * Mr.
Sandman * * Yes? * * Bring us a dream * * Give him a pair of eyes with a come hither gleam * * Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci * * And lots of wavy hair like Liberace * * Mr.
Sandman, someone to hold * * Would be so peachy before we're too old * * So please turn on your magic beam * * Mr.
Sandman, bring us * * Please, please, please * * Mr.
Sandman, bring us a dream * * ["Istanbul, Not Constantinople".]
* Every gal in Constantinople * * Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople * * So if you have a date in Constantinople * * She'll be waiting in Istanbul * * Even old New York * * ["Mr.
Sandman".]
When you buy two "Just say me" t-shirts, you'll get one absolutely free.
And we'll also throw in the "Just say me" refrigerator magnet, the "Just say me" bumper sticker, and the "Just say me" diary.
What? Amy? Hey, Adrian.
You need a glass of water? Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Ms.
Adrian is coming over.
Adrian bought the house next door so she could spy on Daddy.
Yeah, Adrian loves your daddy.
Your daddy loves her, so Hi.
Oh, I forgot the water.
Oh, it's okay.
You must be pretty bored to call me.
It's just Without having a boyfriend in my life, maybe I do have room for a new friend after all.
Really? Really.
I guess we could try to be friends anyway, for him.
For John.
Do you remember Adrian? You remember? You want to hold him? Hi, John.
Hi.
Yeah? There's a butterfly there.
It was like the hula-hoop.
It came and it went.
I just want to thank you for not doing that.
What? For not going the way of the other girls.
I did go the way of the other girls.
All last week? Yeah.
I don't know how you have the time or the energy.
I dropped glee club.
But you love to sing.
Yeah.
I wrote a book.
An entire book? More like a novella.
I'm afraid to ask what it's about.
You know what they say- Write what you know.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to try and get it published.
At least not before my dad dies.
I went to my grandmother's house yesterday to help her bake cookies.
I told her about the "just say me" campaign.
You didn't.
I did.
She thought it was pretty funny, and she's dating a guy and she's older than his mother.
Wow, you've got good genes, and you've got till you're Hey, Lauren.
Hey, yourself.
Thanks for calling me.
I didn't call you.
Yeah, but I was hoping you would.
I was wondering if you'd like to go out this weekend.
Talk to you later.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Didn't see you there.
Maybe you went blind last week.
Oh, come on.
"Just say me" can't make you blind.
There are virtually no bad side effects physically-- That I can think of.
Yeah, there are.
I don't think any guy was hooking up last week.
No, that would be the unavoidable collateral damage.
Wait, that would make a good title for my book.
I wrote a book.
Why? I don't know.
I'm a writer.
Still, wouldn't you rather be doing something fun? Like going out with you and having sex? How's it going? We decided we'd go out.
As long as we're still broken up.
We're still broken up, right? Yeah, we're still broken up.
So where you going to go? I don't know.
Do you know a guy named Colby? My dad did him a favor, and he gave him two floor seats for whatever sport he plays.
My stepmom didn't want to go, so he said I could have them.
If you're talking about Kobe Bryant, and those are floor seats to a Lakers game, I will marry you.
Yeah, um, let's see how it goes.
I doubt it's Kobe.
I doubt I'll marry her.
Maybe you will.
I mean, it's rare you marry the first girl you have sex with.
Oh, that's right.
I wasn't your first.
You were my first.
I'll never forget it.
Enjoy the game, Jack.
You're not really her friend.
Yeah.
I am really her friend.
She let me hold John.
So what? You're not her friend.
You're just pretending to be her friend.
I told you, if you pretend something long enough, it happens.
For example, you've been pretending to love me for over a year, so you might actually love me.
I told you I love you.
Yeah, but you tell me because you want to keep having sex with me.
But now I think maybe you do love me.
Not because you're friends with Amy.
No.
Because you love me.
So I guess the "just say me" fad's over, huh? For some people.
You need a boyfriend.
We have to get you a boyfriend.
I don't need a boyfriend.
I have a friend.
Don't you want a boyfriend? What for? What for? Look around.
Everyone in high school is miserable for a reason.
They all want boyfriends or girlfriends.
I do not want anything.
Oh, come on.
You're not that cool.
Yeah? Take another look.
All right, you are, you are.
So you and Adrian-- You're friends? That's what I heard, anyway.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know, but who knows? Maybe one day, I'll meet a guy that I like as much as you liked Maria, and I'll want to leave John for a few hours and go out.
Yeah.
Hi, Ben.
Hi.
Donna.
Sorry to interrupt.
It's okay.
I heard you know some Italian.
I need some help in my Italian class.
I was hoping you could help me.
Ben is very good with Italians.
I mean, Italian.
Go ahead, Ben.
It's good talking to you.
Same here.
Tell John hello for me.
Mm-hmm.
[Boy.]
Pimento? What are you doing here? That campaign, it made the news.
I figured you go to school here.
You might be happy to see me.
I am happy to see you.
But I have work.
I work at the church nursery, and they're expecting me there.
So is my son.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Your mom told me.
But I figured I could meet you afterwards and grab a pizza with you and John.
Okay.
Yeah.
Or I could take John home after work, and my next-door neighbor and friend Adrian could watch him.
And then we could go out, the two of us.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
Let's go.
This is Jimmy.
Can I call you? My name is Amy.
Why don't I just call you Pimento? I've said everything I can think of to say to her.
Why don't you just drive the two hours and see Robbie and talk to her in person? I'm sorry I cheated on you.
I can't take it if you cheat on me again.
Did you give Adrian money? She came to me.
You must be Maria.
It's nice to meet you, Amy.
I've heard a lot about you.
You didn't tell me you broke up with her.
It was time.
I want to have a boyfriend, and I don't think you're going to be my boyfriend.
So you don't want to go out? No.
Want to go back with me? We haven't resolved anything.
I want to be Amy's friend.
You really are in love with Ricky, aren't you? I guess it's about time that we both realized we are a family, even though you and I aren't a couple.
Just hold on.
I have another call.
Hello? Are you in the kitchen? Would you bring me a glass of water? I'm not in the kitchen.
What are you doing? I'm on the phone.
Sorry.
Ames? Dad, are you near the kitchen? I'm in bed.
That's near the kitchen.
Why? I need a glass of water.
I'm thirsty.
You're thirsty, huh? Yeah.
Please get me a glass of water.
Dad, I'm really tired, I'm thirsty, and I think I'm getting a cold.
I miss Mom.
I need Mom.
Mom would get me a glass of water.
I remember when you were a little girl and you'd call out, asking for a glass of water, when all you really wanted was someone to talk to.
No, that's not it.
I'm thirsty.
Are you sure you don't want me to read to you? What are you reading? It's a magazine about motorcycles.
You don't care about motorcycles.
No.
You miss Ben? No.
I just wanted a glass of water.
Never mind.
I'm on my way.
Puppies, huh? I'm getting the water.
I just want to finish this article first.
I swear, she's fine.
She's thirsty, but she's fine.
Why can't you get her some water? Why can't you move to Italy to be with Maria and stop calling me about your ex-girlfriend? We may have broken up, Amy and me, but I still care about her.
Then you get her some water.
She's not stranded in the Gobi desert.
She's just in her room.
She's a mom.
She needs help.
Help her.
You need help.
Hi, Ben.
Hey, I've got something that you can do for Amy.
Yes, anything.
What can I do? She wants some water.
Are they out of water? No.
She's just tired.
She's in her room, and she needs water.
Gas? No gas? What? Oh, right.
Bubbles, no bubbles.
Um, no bubbles.
Yeah, let's play it safe.
Tap water is fine.
Amy's green.
I'm on it.
[phone ringing.]
I can't talk right now, Grace.
I have to get Amy some water.
It's not Grace.
It's me, honey.
Oh.
Sorry, Tom.
I have to go, but I will call you back.
Promise.
When? What? When will you call me back? Tomorrow.
You said that last time.
Okay, I'm not going to call you tomorrow.
I told you, I'm very grateful for the loan, but I've paid you back, and there was nothing more to it than that.
No, there's more to it than that.
Tom.
I broke up with Tammy for you, and now, I'm lonely.
Then call Tammy.
I have to go.
No phone sex there.
[phone ringing.]
Yes.
Grace? It's me.
Am I interrupting sex for you? I don't have anyone to have sex with, Tom.
Good.
Good night.
[knocking at door.]
I brought this for Amy, so put that down.
I got it.
Hi, Amy.
Here's your water.
What? How did you know I wanted water? Um, it's late and you're in bed.
I just figured you wanted water.
I'm your friend, Amy.
I know these things.
My family called you and asked you to bring me water? Are they that lazy? No, no, really.
Your family didn't call me.
Ben called me.
You know, he still loves you.
You could still get him back, if you want.
You're much prettier than that Italian whore who came over here and made an idiot out of herself.
It's over.
If that's how you feel, then I'm totally behind you.
Get out there and find yourself a new guy.
And I don't say that to try to keep you away from Ricky.
He and I are totally solid.
I say that because I'm your friend, and once I'm someone's friend, that's it.
It's for life.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the brownies and the CD and the new pencils and the gel inserts for my shoes.
Aren't they great? Yeah, they're great.
And isn't it great that we're friends? Oh, yeah.
Yes, finally.
Now will you call Ricky and tell him? I don't have a cell phone.
Yes, I will call him.
Now? Have a sip of your water first if you want.
Hey.
Is everything okay? I just wanted to call and let you know that Adrian and I are friends.
Good night.
Good night.
This is a bad omen.
* Falling in love * * Is such an easy thing to do * * Birds can do it We can do it * * Let's stop talking Let's get to it * * Let's fall in love * [all.]
Good morning.
So how are things going? It's going fine, isn't it, Madison? Jack and I aren't dating.
Oh, no.
What happened? It's not because of me, is it? Oh, no, no, no.
It's just-- Well, Jack and I are just friends.
and nothing more.
Right, Jack? If you say so.
I'll see you girls later.
Why don't you take him back? No, you can have him.
Oh, no.
He's not right for me.
All he wants is sex.
I'm really looking for a relationship.
I want to be in love.
Tell me about it.
Who are you talking about? Jack? I told Grace she should take him back.
Yeah, you should, Grace.
He really likes you.
He was just going out with Madison for sex.
Yeah, I told her.
I think he was dating me for the same reason.
Hey, what's going on? Madison is trying to give Jack back to Grace.
He's not property to be given or taken, and I don't want him back.
How are you doing without Ben? Okay.
How's the new boyfriend? You have a new boyfriend? Jimmy.
It's her mom's boyfriend's son.
That doesn't sound right.
Isn't that incest? Not yet.
It was a joke.
I was just joking.
We're not sleeping together.
We're not related.
He's not really my brother.
Yeah, or your boyfriend.
Did you break up with Jimmy, too? Too? I didn't break up with Ben.
Ben broke up with me.
There you are, girlfriend.
I was looking for you.
Amy and I are friends.
Did she loan you money, too? I apologized for that.
I borrowed money from Tom to pay for a window I broke when I threw my cell phone through it.
What? I was just trying to throw it at Ricky.
He was cheating on me.
What's new? He's always cheating on you.
Yeah, but that's because he's looking for that special girl who will get along with Amy.
And so I made a promise to try and get along with Amy.
And I'm getting along with Amy.
Aren't I, Amy? I love Amy.
And I love John.
I love this.
So wait, this is supposed to make Ricky stop cheating on you? Ricky is never going to stop cheating.
No guys can cheat if he doesn't have a woman to cheat with.
And if no girls would have sex with Ricky Or Jack.
Or Ben.
My point is, guys wouldn't cheat if they didn't have someone to cheat with, but there's always someone willing to do it.
Yeah, someone always is, and it's not always me.
No, it's not.
Well, what are we supposed to do? Not do it.
And we all know how hard it is not to do it, so What's going on over there? I don't know, but whatever it is can't be good.
When did Adrian become friends with Amy? Last week.
Her dad made her.
He had some crazy idea that I cheat on Adrian because I'm looking for a girl who'll get along with Amy.
Wow, that's great.
Great nothing.
I don't want my girlfriend and the mother of my baby to be friends.
Adrian used to put a lot of effort into sex because she was trying to keep me from Amy.
And that was a good thing-- For me, anyway.
Now all she wants to do is talk about our relationship and intimacy and feelings and crap.
We don't even have time for sex.
What are you saying? You're breaking up with Adrian? No, why? Aren't you and Madison Nope.
Buon giorno.
I told you to drop that.
I can't.
It's the only thing I have left of Maria.
So you're going to try to get Amy back? No, I'm good.
I'm fine.
Fine? You weren't having sex while you were with her, and now you're not having sex without her.
How are you good? How can everything be fine? Because now I have hope that I will have sex.
When I was with Amy, there was no hope.
Maria was a confidence booster.
Madison was a confidence killer.
We fooled around a couple times, and now she doesn't want to go out with me.
You're batting 0 for 2.
At least I'm batting.
Touché.
I got to get in the game.
Oh, no.
I don't know what's going on over there, but whatever it is, it's not good for you guys.
Go over there and find out what it is.
Please? I'll see you later.
Never thought it would be me, huh? What's going on? Nothing.
Grace thinks she's invented something.
I didn't say that.
No, she didn't say that at all.
I just don't agree with it.
Have you ever tried it? Of course I've tried it.
Maybe you should try it again.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this before band camp? Why would someone have to tell you about it? What? Okay, what's the only kind of sex you can have any time you want, without any fear of getting an STD or pregnant, or getting involved with a guy you don't want? Masturbation.
I hate that word.
Really, Dr.
Bowman? It's just a word.
We need a new word, a nicer way of saying it, because the M-word is just-- I don't know, I can't recommend it and use that word.
And believe me, I recommend it.
Oh, we believe you.
So what do you guys think about "just say me," as a kind of code for the M-word? Kind of a campaign amongst all us girls.
As a substitute for sex, not a substitute for relationships.
Don't you like it? Just say me.
Compared to "Just Say No," it's so much more positive and practical, not to mention the other benefits, too.
Studies show that it lowers blood pressure, aids sleep, promotes relaxation.
Really, I don't see a problem when used in moderation.
What? You know the 52% of guys who aren't having sex in high school? You just went over to their team.
Me too? Not you, Hank.
You're with me.
So none of them are going to have sex? No, they're going to have sex.
Just not with you guys.
Of course, Alice isn't participating, so Well, not like I was having sex, but if this whole campaign catches on, then I'm never going to have sex.
This is bad for us, for this high school, for high schools in general.
Did you find out what the girls are up to? Just say me.
What does that mean? Just say me.
You? No, not me, and not you.
Not any guy.
What? It was Grace's idea.
The girls are going to take care of themselves.
That won't last.
It could.
It won't.
They all want to be in relationships.
Sex is our way of making them think they're in a relationship.
Their little campaign's not going to work.
Any news from the other camp? They're staging a revolution.
They're swearing off sex.
No, not swearing off sex.
Swearing off sex with guys.
They're lesbians now? No, they're just looking after themselves.
It was Grace's idea.
Thanks, Jack.
I'm sorry, but you know Grace.
When she likes something, she gets behind it 1,000%.
She approached religion and sex with equal enthusiasm.
But not to blow my own horn-- She's not going to replace me with that.
They're calling that "just say me.
" Really? Really.
Alice says it's already all over school.
It's all the girls are talking about.
Great.
Just say me.
I like that.
It's catchy.
It's empowering.
It means so much more than-- The M-word.
It's about taking control of your life and those hormones that lead you to make bad choices.
Get in there and do something before this gets out of control.
Like what? Talk to her.
What am I supposed to say? Tell her you want to get back with her.
Tell her you're in love or something.
Do it for all of us.
For all of you.
Oh, jeez.
What? You go talk to Adrian.
She's sitting over there, all by herself.
You talk to her, she talks to Grace.
Grace isn't going to listen to me.
Hey, what's up? Nothing-- And nothing's going to be up.
Not for a long, long time.
Oh, come on.
You're not supporting this "just say me" idea, are you? I don't know.
I'll let you know in the morning.
All right, let me know in the morning.
But last time you held out on me, I went somewhere else.
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Hi.
I'd invite you to sit down, but I saved the table for Amy, Madison and Lauren, so That's quite a show you're putting on with Amy, but no one's buying it.
Maybe not, but I figure if I just act like her friend long enough, then I'll be her friend.
I seriously doubt that "just say me" is going to stop anyone from having sex with a partner.
Yeah, you're right.
And technically, it's always been an option.
So has just say no, but this is different from just say no.
Just say no was passive.
This is active.
I think people are going to jump all over this.
Frankly, I think it's a very personal choice.
And we're all friends.
We can talk about this with each other, but I don't think Grace is going to be able to launch any big campaign at school.
I mean, come on.
I completely agree with Amy.
So you're enrolling in the plan? It's not a plan.
It's a scheme.
I don't like schemes, hijinks or shenanigans.
I don't like pitting women against men, or men against women.
There's no war between the sexes.
We're all just people.
And I don't want to separate myself from half the population.
You know, I like men.
I love men.
I do too, but I also love myself, if you know what I mean.
What's the latest? It's spreading like wildfire.
It's got a life of its own.
This is crazy.
Why does this have to happen to me right as I'm free and ready to get out there? There's always Bologna.
Take me with you next time.
Or me.
Not me.
Whatever you do, don't take me.
Ever.
Watch it, Hank, or I'll be saying "just say me.
" Like you don't? Like you don't? Excuse me, excuse me.
Where did you get that? From the "just say me" guy, Joe.
But I'm the "just say me" guy.
Could I talk to you for a sec? That's mine.
Joe has no right to make those stickers.
He's going to make a fortune.
That's money that should go to TAG, the Teen Abstinence Group.
Grace Bowman, you are so kicked out of TAG.
What? You can't kick her out of TAG.
My father's the head of the church, and he makes all the decisions.
Oh, yeah? He's not the president of TAG.
I am.
I make the decisions.
And Jesus never said "just say me.
" He said "just say no.
" Jesus never said "just say no.
" Nancy Reagan said "just say no.
" Regardless, you're out.
Couldn't you have sex with me instead of all this? I don't want to have sex with you.
I don't like all the complications that come from having sex with you.
And it makes me feel guilty.
Just say me doesn't? No, it doesn't.
There's nothing wrong with it.
They can't kick me out of TAG for this if they didn't kick me out for having sex with you.
Grace, "just say me" is not something everybody's comfortable with.
Okay, but everyone's comfortable with everyone having sex with everyone else? Yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
No, it does.
Sex is sex.
A lot of people believe you should only have sex if you're married, and you can't marry yourself.
Therefore, you can't have sex with yourself without breaking some rules.
I'm pretty sure.
Well, I'm pretty sure you break the rules all the time.
Guys break the rules all the time.
But for some reason, nobody likes it when the girls break the rules.
Yeah, because if you break the rules, you might not want to have sex with us.
Exactly.
You might actually have to fall in love and make a commitment to get a girl to have sex with you.
So until then, I'm saying "just say me.
" Just say me.
[girls chant.]
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Just say me.
Basically, I was ahead of my time.
I just failed to come up with the slogan.
Would you take that stuff off? It's embarrassing.
What's embarrassing about it? We're going out together.
We're having sex.
Great sex.
That doesn't stop me.
Does it stop you? Okay, well, I don't advertise it.
Come on, just take the stickers off.
No.
Alice, either take those stickers off, or-- Or what? Or I'm never having sex with you again.
You made your choice.
Now live with it.
Wait, wait.
Her mother told her to do it.
Her mother? Yup.
Jack told me.
My mother told me about it.
Not about Grace's mother telling her, but about "just say me.
" My mother never said anything about it.
And just because I got pregnant having sex with a guy doesn't mean I now have to restrict myself to " just say me.
" I don't know if I even want to have sex with me.
Why should you? No one else does.
Funny.
Mom never talked to you about anything like that, about "just say me," has she? You've seen her boyfriend.
David, right? I don't think she knows anything about it.
Grace's mom is the one who told her about it.
She's the one who came up with the whole "just say me" idea.
I'm not surprised.
Don't forget, Grace's mom was married to our dad.
I have to go.
Got to go by the band room and get to the church nursery.
See you.
Hey, girlfriend.
What are we doing? I'm going to work.
What are you doing? I'll just be hanging out, waiting for you to get home.
You don't have to do that.
By the time I get home from work, Ricky will probably be home from work, too, and I know how much you like seeing Ricky, so I'll take care of John by myself tonight, and Ricky can go straight over to your house.
No, he's not coming over.
I'm totally supporting that "just say me" campaign, so he's not going to be interested in coming over.
Well, if you're going to be supporting the "just say me" campaign, and I'm going to be supporting the "just say me" campaign, I guess we won't have time for you to come over and hang out.
Oh, we have time.
Adrian, it's okay.
Really.
You don't have to be my friend.
We don't have to be friends.
And even if we were friends, I don't think I'd be comfortable with you around John.
At least, not any time soon.
I haven't even let my two best friends that I've known since the third grade baby-sit him.
I almost did, once or twice, but it's hard to trust anyone other than Ricky.
I get it, sister.
I do.
But you trust Ricky with him, so maybe soon you'll trust Ricky and me with him, once you get to know me better.
Regardless of how well I know you, I would be jealous of you and Ricky with him.
He's my son.
I don't want another woman in my son's life.
What about Ricky? You mind another woman in Ricky's life? I'm his girlfriend.
The father of your baby's girlfriend.
Adrian, we need to talk.
I have to go.
If you're my girlfriend, then you're sleeping with me.
Don't try that approach.
I don't like it.
We've been having sex for over a year.
You can't have sex one day and then not have it the next day, and then change your mind and then want it again and then not.
Yes, I can.
Adrian.
Ricky.
Come on, you're not like those other girls.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Well, maybe I want to be.
Why? Why would you want to be like them? You love having sex with guys, with me.
You don't need "just say me.
" It's not a matter of need, is it? Maybe if I had girlfriends, real girlfriends, I would have never slept with you in the first place.
And maybe if I hadn't slept with you, I would know if you really loved me or not.
And if you really love me, then I wouldn't care if you spent all the time in the world with Amy and John, because they wouldn't be a threat to me.
But as it is, I have to prostitute myself out to Amy, just so I can please everyone.
I don't like pleasing everyone.
I like pleasing me.
I like pleasing you, too.
Come on, Adrian.
Oh, hey, let me grab that.
Uh, thanks, but I got it.
Okay.
Oh.
You even got the sticker.
Someone else put them there.
I didn't.
Well, just so you know, I support that 1,000%, your not having sex with guys.
Do you? Why is that? Because Because it would kill me if you did.
Because Because even though we're just friends now, I still wouldn't want you to have sex with any other guy.
What a friendly thing to say.
But not every guy in high school wants to have sex and insists on having sex with his girlfriend.
Oh, yeah? Name one.
I don't know one, but I'm going to find one.
In the meantime, it's just say me.
In the meantime? When you find that one-- When you find that elusive guy who doesn't want to have sex, you're going to be saying, "Just say me," every night.
I know.
I've been there.
Shy.
Oh, hi, Jack.
"Just say me.
" You too? Are you serious? Of course.
I think every woman should focus on herself.
You know, that's how I got to where I am today.
You know what that means, right? Just say me? I don't know what it means to other girls, but to me it means not putting anyone's dreams ahead of your own, not giving into drugs or alcohol, respecting yourself.
All righty.
Well, have a good evening.
Nice going.
I think he bought it.
Guys are such idiots.
I know.
Hi, Mom.
Hi.
There you are.
Sit down.
Am I in trouble? Oh, yeah.
Just say me? Is that about what I said? Am I wrong? That's neither here nor there? This isn't about what's right or wrong.
This is about what's appropriate in high school.
Oh, come on.
You said you like to dance.
You can't like to dance and not like to-- Okay, Grace.
Please.
I mean, just because a person likes to dance, doesn't mean anything.
I mean, just that a person likes to dance.
Well, she's that person.
I do like to dance, as well as do other things.
However, this has gotten out of hand.
Bad choice of words.
Well, what do you want us to do? I mean, do you want me to call all the other parents and apologize? You're going to call the parents of 2,000 students and apologize for suggesting that they just say me.
There's nothing to apologize for.
This is a good thing.
I mean, I didn't know it was going to get around school like this, but when it did-- You didn't know? Grace, did you put the stickers and bumper stickers and magnets everywhere? No, Joe did.
He's selling them.
Yeah, do you know how much money he's making? A guy making money off my slogan, your idea.
Grace, I didn't mean for you to share this with the entire school.
Does the entire school know that I-- Do it? No, that I talk to my daughter about this? Yes.
Well, I'm going to get kicked out of church.
I got kicked out of TAG.
Yeah, but not for this.
Yeah, can you believe it? TAG? Teen Abstinence Group at church.
Is it abstinence if you just say me? We don't know.
We don't make up the rules.
Yeah, we don't even follow the rules.
But we're not the only Christians who don't.
The point is, we try to do good things, and this is a good thing.
Yeah, well, trying to do good things doesn't always work.
I was trying to do a good thing by taking a student to the prom.
He was getting teased mercilessly all year for never having had a date in high school.
The kids were calling him "the eunuch.
" I hated those kids and I hated that school, so when he asked me, I accepted.
And that's what got me here today.
And trying to do good has the two of you joining me here.
So you're going to have to remove all the stickers, et cetera, from the hallway.
Or I can suspend you, Grace.
Although I doubt either of you would mind spending more time at home, alone.
There you go.
High school.
What's going on? The ladies are removing all the stickers.
That's right.
We can't have a "just say me" campaign.
It's inappropriate.
I get it.
It's bigger than high school, much, much bigger.
I heard the plan is that no one's supposed to be with a guy for a week.
Yeah, well, I don't have a guy.
I don't have a guy, either.
Lots of girls don't have guys.
And if you ask me, we spend way too much time thinking about guys.
Yeah, maybe, but I would like to have a guy.
Okay, well, with or without a guy, I guess "just say me" is valid.
I'd be too embarrassed to "just say me.
" You would have me film you giving birth, but you wouldn't "just say me" when you're alone and no one's around and no one would ever know? I don't believe you.
Okay.
Maybe I have.
Then again, maybe I haven't.
It's a very personal decision.
Ah, it's a decision? You're happy, you laugh, you're sad, you cry.
You feel like "just say me, " it's not a decision.
I don't do anything without thinking about it.
Really? Have you met your son? Hi.
[both.]
Hey, Dad.
I think this is the first time I've come in on a conversation between you two, and you stopped talking.
Don't say anything.
I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever it is, whatever secret you're sharing, I'm just so happy that the two of you are acting like sisters-- Sisters sharing secrets, being sisters.
It's a milestone in your sistership.
Wish I had a camera.
This is great.
I'll just go to my room and stay there, alone.
Me, too.
Maybe I will, too.
Anne? Hi, how are you? I'm great.
Look, I know you don't want to talk to me, and I'm probably keeping you from your boyfriend up there-- If you are seeing someone.
And I hope not, because I love you and want you back.
I just came in on the girls.
They were sitting in the kitchen, talking.
And just as I came in, they got completely quiet, the two of them.
They've got some secret they're talking about.
Isn't that great? Do you know what they're talking about? No.
You know what they're talking about? Yes.
Amy called me.
And? They're talking about masturbation.
Oh, jeez, why did you tell me that? I don't know.
Because it's the truth? I don't care about the truth.
Jeez, I'm going to have to live in my room.
I'll never be able to look them in the face again.
Why were they talking about that? Well, it seems that your ex-wife-- Who's dating a younger man, by the way-- Suggested it to Grace as something to do instead of having sex.
What? Yup.
That woman's crazy.
She doesn't do that.
All women do it.
No, they don't.
Maybe if she had, she wouldn't have cheated on me.
That could have stopped that.
I doubt it.
Women do it for the same reason that men do it- Because they want to.
And I think I'm going to talk to Amy and Ashley about it, because I think it's fine if they want to do that until they're older, until they get in the right relationship, or it's the right time.
Until then, or even after then, I think it's perfectly okay.
Isn't this nice? Just having a conversation about masturbation like we're two normal people.
It is nice.
How's Mimsy? She's not doing well, George.
Her memory's fading fast.
Oh.
That's too bad, Anne.
I'm sorry.
I love Mimsy.
Yeah.
I do, too.
She thinks that Robbie is Amy or Ashley when they were babies, and it takes me back to the years when we were first married and she came and helped out with the girls.
But even if she doesn't know who Robbie is sometimes, and even me sometimes, it's still nice to see my mom with him.
He's never going to know her.
At least, not how she was.
Look, Anne, I'm not going to beg you to come home.
I've done that enough already.
And you know how badly I feel about everything.
If I thought you were up there just for your old boyfriend, I'd come up and do something stupid like punch him in the nose.
But I don't know what to do, since it's about your mother and you and me and our family and life in general.
It's about all that, and more.
Good night, Anne.
Good night, George.
Oh, hey George.
Yeah? What are you wearing? Nothing.
Good night, George.
Good night, Anne.
* ["Mr.
Sandman".]
* Don't have nobody to call my own * * Please turn on your magic beam * * Mr.
Sandman, bring me a dream * * Bum, bum, bum, bum * * Mr.
Sandman * * Yes? * * Bring us a dream * * Give him a pair of eyes with a come hither gleam * * Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci * * And lots of wavy hair like Liberace * * Mr.
Sandman, someone to hold * * Would be so peachy before we're too old * * So please turn on your magic beam * * Mr.
Sandman, bring us * * Please, please, please * * Mr.
Sandman, bring us a dream * * ["Istanbul, Not Constantinople".]
* Every gal in Constantinople * * Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople * * So if you have a date in Constantinople * * She'll be waiting in Istanbul * * Even old New York * * ["Mr.
Sandman".]
When you buy two "Just say me" t-shirts, you'll get one absolutely free.
And we'll also throw in the "Just say me" refrigerator magnet, the "Just say me" bumper sticker, and the "Just say me" diary.
What? Amy? Hey, Adrian.
You need a glass of water? Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Ms.
Adrian is coming over.
Adrian bought the house next door so she could spy on Daddy.
Yeah, Adrian loves your daddy.
Your daddy loves her, so Hi.
Oh, I forgot the water.
Oh, it's okay.
You must be pretty bored to call me.
It's just Without having a boyfriend in my life, maybe I do have room for a new friend after all.
Really? Really.
I guess we could try to be friends anyway, for him.
For John.
Do you remember Adrian? You remember? You want to hold him? Hi, John.
Hi.
Yeah? There's a butterfly there.
It was like the hula-hoop.
It came and it went.
I just want to thank you for not doing that.
What? For not going the way of the other girls.
I did go the way of the other girls.
All last week? Yeah.
I don't know how you have the time or the energy.
I dropped glee club.
But you love to sing.
Yeah.
I wrote a book.
An entire book? More like a novella.
I'm afraid to ask what it's about.
You know what they say- Write what you know.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to try and get it published.
At least not before my dad dies.
I went to my grandmother's house yesterday to help her bake cookies.
I told her about the "just say me" campaign.
You didn't.
I did.
She thought it was pretty funny, and she's dating a guy and she's older than his mother.
Wow, you've got good genes, and you've got till you're Hey, Lauren.
Hey, yourself.
Thanks for calling me.
I didn't call you.
Yeah, but I was hoping you would.
I was wondering if you'd like to go out this weekend.
Talk to you later.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Didn't see you there.
Maybe you went blind last week.
Oh, come on.
"Just say me" can't make you blind.
There are virtually no bad side effects physically-- That I can think of.
Yeah, there are.
I don't think any guy was hooking up last week.
No, that would be the unavoidable collateral damage.
Wait, that would make a good title for my book.
I wrote a book.
Why? I don't know.
I'm a writer.
Still, wouldn't you rather be doing something fun? Like going out with you and having sex? How's it going? We decided we'd go out.
As long as we're still broken up.
We're still broken up, right? Yeah, we're still broken up.
So where you going to go? I don't know.
Do you know a guy named Colby? My dad did him a favor, and he gave him two floor seats for whatever sport he plays.
My stepmom didn't want to go, so he said I could have them.
If you're talking about Kobe Bryant, and those are floor seats to a Lakers game, I will marry you.
Yeah, um, let's see how it goes.
I doubt it's Kobe.
I doubt I'll marry her.
Maybe you will.
I mean, it's rare you marry the first girl you have sex with.
Oh, that's right.
I wasn't your first.
You were my first.
I'll never forget it.
Enjoy the game, Jack.
You're not really her friend.
Yeah.
I am really her friend.
She let me hold John.
So what? You're not her friend.
You're just pretending to be her friend.
I told you, if you pretend something long enough, it happens.
For example, you've been pretending to love me for over a year, so you might actually love me.
I told you I love you.
Yeah, but you tell me because you want to keep having sex with me.
But now I think maybe you do love me.
Not because you're friends with Amy.
No.
Because you love me.
So I guess the "just say me" fad's over, huh? For some people.
You need a boyfriend.
We have to get you a boyfriend.
I don't need a boyfriend.
I have a friend.
Don't you want a boyfriend? What for? What for? Look around.
Everyone in high school is miserable for a reason.
They all want boyfriends or girlfriends.
I do not want anything.
Oh, come on.
You're not that cool.
Yeah? Take another look.
All right, you are, you are.
So you and Adrian-- You're friends? That's what I heard, anyway.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know, but who knows? Maybe one day, I'll meet a guy that I like as much as you liked Maria, and I'll want to leave John for a few hours and go out.
Yeah.
Hi, Ben.
Hi.
Donna.
Sorry to interrupt.
It's okay.
I heard you know some Italian.
I need some help in my Italian class.
I was hoping you could help me.
Ben is very good with Italians.
I mean, Italian.
Go ahead, Ben.
It's good talking to you.
Same here.
Tell John hello for me.
Mm-hmm.
[Boy.]
Pimento? What are you doing here? That campaign, it made the news.
I figured you go to school here.
You might be happy to see me.
I am happy to see you.
But I have work.
I work at the church nursery, and they're expecting me there.
So is my son.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Your mom told me.
But I figured I could meet you afterwards and grab a pizza with you and John.
Okay.
Yeah.
Or I could take John home after work, and my next-door neighbor and friend Adrian could watch him.
And then we could go out, the two of us.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
Let's go.