Lost Girl (2010) s02e18 Episode Script

No, no, no, no, no-- Hey.
It's Bo.
Hey! Oh! Ah! Upstairs, now-- Did you forget "we aren't right for each other" and "it's complicated" and Wow, it's like you've only got one thing on your mind.
I do-- You realize none of my doctorates are in that medical stuff right? In fact, most of them are made up.
I need to heal.
Yeah, you look like hell.
You should see the underFae that tried to kill me.
Sex.
Now.
Alright, Succubus-- Shall we? Ahhhhh! Ahh! Ugh-- You said free gift with purchase.
Yeah, I should have smelled religious freak all over you and slammed the door.
I am not here on behalf of religion.
I am here on behalf of your faith.
My faith? Well that's easy: I don't got none.
I don't believe in anything.
Except Jimmy Beam.
I worship him alone.
All your neighbours have become followers.
They'd be pleased to welcome you.
No.
I don't know them, and I don't want to.
See I don't, I don't like people.
So, ah Behold-- It's beautiful-- Life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years, searching while hiding.
Only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
Wow, I mean, you really know how to make a guy feel wanted.
Oh, come on! You are always happy to skip cuddly spoon hour.
Besides, you're the one that told me that "post-orgasm claustrophobia" was a medical condition.
That was a joke.
Now, I-- Now I wanna spoon.
I mean really, can we spoon? As long as you want.
Ah- Well, what I want is for you to go.
Oh okay look! Look, I am, I am really happy, with your paramedic impression, but this is over.
Okay? This- This is the last time-- Oh man! Even I'm sick of that song! Thank god you have such a beautiful voice.
Now, let's spoon.
Right.
Come on-- See ya-- But- But I wanna stay! Oh, come on, Bo! I just wanna cuddle! You wanted to see me? Yes.
There's a prisoner.
In the dungeon.
His name's Acher, he's an underFae.
I need you to interrogate him for me.
What'd he do? There've been a rash of deaths among the Fae lately.
All been ruled as suicide.
I'm guessing there's more to it than that.
Cybelle, a Fae elder, was poisoned, and last night my bodyguard Petros was found at the bottom of the Westgate Viaduct.
He fell twenty stories.
And you don't think he went voluntarily.
No.
He was guarding Acher's cell earlier on in the day.
I need answers, Dyson.
As you wish.
Dyson, be careful.
I haven't told Acher anything about you.
I think it's wise to keep it that way.
No wait! No-- See, I didn't order any of this stuff.
Matching lovebirds! A surfboard?! What can I tell ya, you've got an admirer! Name of Ryan Lambert.
That's gotta be some kind of mistake! Nope! Thanks.
Beautiful Bo-Bell, come back to me! No no no no no-- Without you my life is one big tragedy! Oh! Ah! There's a guy dressed like a bellhop crying in our hallway.
Yeah it's uh, a tourism Fae, he needed directions.
Oh - How are you? - Hi! Well, on today's episode of Kenzi our heroine's moxie is tested when confronted by a stalker.
Yeah, they're everywhere these days! Do you remember Tryst, that graffiti artist I knew back in the day? Sure, your old boyfriend.
Oh, very funny.
That wankster that was completely obsessed with me and-- Kenz! Hey, Kenz! Please! Please! Yo! I'm lookin' for the offices of Tryst's Angels.
Where they be? They be cancelled! Don't play me, shorty.
I need help, and I know y'all be private girl dicks.
And I know y'all be leaving! Ah, come on-- There's a very special lady in my life.
She's in a world of pain right now.
Oh, you got some poor girl knocked up? Holy spit, I send my condolences.
I'm talkin' about my Gran-gran.
Who knocks up their Gran-gran? Ugh.
So not where I meant to go.
Okay look, Tryst, we are very busy with other clients.
We're booked solid.
Bo-bo, what the- Later! Okay? I mean, Tryst needs us! Shizzle, Kenzi, it- it be his Gran-gran.
Right? Respect.
That is why you are my second favourite beyatch, Beyatch! Don't push it! Right.
So! Every Sunday my Granny makes me supper.
I always check out this little telephone desk she's got.
It's where she keeps her secret stuff.
Anyway, turns out some evil dude be changing her will.
Now her money's going to some corporation.
Her house, too! And she's too confused to answer any questions about it.
Way confused.
Well, we'll see if we can help.
Okay? Alright, uh, street art don't pay, so can we do this one for free? You know, what do you call it? Pro-boner! Bo, where did you get all this stuff? It is all going back, okay?! Put it down.
Put it down! No-- Kenzi-- No The key to the cell.
Thank you.
There's no point in hiding, Acher.
Now, how did The Ash know I wanted a visitor? And a Celtic wolf pretending he's still a police detective.
Someone must think I'm very special indeed.
Am I supposed to be impressed? The smell of oil tells me you've cleaned your handgun this morning but you're not carrying it where you would if you still had the authority to carry it.
You're observant.
One of my many talents.
Why don't you come a little closer? I could use the companionship.
I'm not here to be your friend.
So this was the address on Gran-gran's check stubs.
Strip mall church.
Sexy.
Just stick close.
The love of Brother Douglas must carry you.
If you struggle, the rocks beneath the surface will win.
Brother! We are thirsty! And I shall slake your every desire.
Okay Office.
Cover me.
Kay-- Hi! Hi.
Hi, I'm Carla.
Uh, Kendall.
I am just here exploring Dougallerianism.
Isn't he incredible?! He has changed my life! Come! Have some tea and cookies! We'll tell you more about the creed.
You know I'm not really here to stay, so tha- Oh, don't be silly! I love talking to people just like you.
I love you already.
Just like a sister! Okay, sis, well, thank you, but I'm gon- Oh, and the cookies are made from scratch.
Go ahead! Okay Okay.
What are you doing? You first.
Why are people giving you so much money? Offerings, of thanksgiving and hope.
Except it's more than they can afford.
It is difficult for a non-believer to grasp the generosity of others.
Oh.
Good one.
You read that in a fortune cookie? You're very rude.
No, you know what's rude, is taking people's houses and money to build a celebration center, when what you really want is for them to worship you.
What is that sound? Usquebagh Wha-? Where am I? Yo, Holy Man! Bo doesn't do water sports.
Ahhhh! And that concludes today's service.
Bo-bo, you okay? You stay away from me-- Bo! You stay away from me! Bo!!! How well did you know Petros? How well does anyone really know anyone else? There are no natural predators for a wolf.
True? Except for humans, of course.
You spoke to Petros on the day he jumped.
What did you talk about? No natural predators means you're king of the animals.
Do you feel invincible? Answer my question.
Why? You won't answer me.
I don't feel invincible, and neither should you.
Fair enough.
Petros and I spoke about his sad little life.
He was a simple man.
Even by the lowest of standards.
I can only imagine his life was a series of brutal disappointments.
Death probably came as a relief.
He had a family.
Is the lone wolf suggesting family is a reason to live? I love the irony.
Don't pretend to know me.
But, I do Maybe better than you know yourself.
Just like I knew Petros better than most.
Do you know that his wife left him? Women do that.
After centuries, he was suddenly single.
It must have left him in a lonely, lonely place, wondering if it was something he did.
Wondering if perhaps he didn't deserve the joy.
Hmm.
Did I strike a nerve, detective? Trick! Come here, come here, come here! What's the matter? I need your help.
I lost Bo! Well, she ran away.
Her bodacious brain just went kerblooie! Okay, from the beginning, and as much English as you can manage.
Okay, we were on a case and we thought it was humans.
Some scammer preacher type who we thought might be stealing from old broads.
But then Brother Jerk threw some H2O at Bo and-- Water-- Just plain water? It looked like it, but it made her act like some wide-eyed Dorothy type and she didn't even know me.
I mean ME! Sounds like an Addonc.
They're a water Fae, they soak you and your memory's erased.
Like shaking an Etch-a-Sketch? Exactly.
You revert back to a blank slate, childlike, more innocent, and like babies, people who have been Addonced basically imprint onto the first person who's been kind to them.
Oh no Okay-- Hey! Can you take over? It's kind of an emergency.
Bo isn't herself, she's not going to have her own wits or skills.
She might not even know she's a Succubus.
Uh oh.
If she gets hungry she could kill a whole NBA team.
With a WNBA team for dessert! Let's go! Hey, gorgeous! Bo! Bo, wait-- You are the second person to call me that! Well, that's because it's your name.
I'm sorry but I don't know who you are! It's Ryan! What do you mean you don't know me? I've been looking all over for you.
Look, I can prove it to you.
That bracelet you're wearing, I gave it to you.
REL 12 3 42.
First step, any water we find, we dump it.
No way! If I find some I'm pouring it all over Ryan Gosling's beautiful melon! You! You assaulted me! I'm calling the police! That's not a good idea.
They'll send Fae cops and I'll have to tell them that you're a criminal Addonc.
Who are you? Someone who knows the trickery you're capable of.
It is not trickery.
I sell grace, to those who badly need it! The black haired woman you splashed earlier, where is she? How should I know? She ran and didn't return, before I had a chance to wash out her filthy mouth, and put her in a modest blouse.
A blouse? You monster! We gotta go.
We're watching you.
That's right, buddy.
Hot chocolate, with extra whipped cream.
It's the best remedy.
You didn't have to do that.
Sure I did, I care about you.
I'm okay.
Yeah-- I just, um, I wish that I could remember more.
What? Was it raining? Today? Um, no, why? I remember getting a bit wet.
I'm sorry, I'm just I'm confused.
Are you cold? I'm still cold.
Let me just help you.
Okay? Okay.
Come here-- Oh! I'm sorry that I don't remember you.
I, um, I really appreciate you helping me, though.
Uh! What? Wow! Wow? Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow, no! What? No, we can't! Why not? We can't, no-- It's- it's , it's too much, it's too tempting! Yeah! I mean, sheesh, we could end up way over our heads, I mean, maybe even having, you know, s-e-x! You really don't remember who you are, do you? No.
You're my girlfriend.
I am? Yeah-- We're in love.
We are? Madly.
In fact, I've been planning something for a little while now and I think this is the perfect time.
The perfect time for what? Oh, wow-- That is sparkly.
Marry me.
I wanna be with you forever.
I need to be with you forever.
We can be to The Falls in an hour.
Why not? Yes! Yes! Let's get married! Oh, wow! The honeymoon suite, Mrs.
Lambert! - Holy shit! - Yeah.
This is fancy.
It's some industrialist's old country home.
Nothing's too good for my girl.
You ask to fly my private helicopter, I make it happen.
Ah, that was your idea and the most terrifying - twenty seconds of my life.
- Oh, not even close! You've got so much incredible stuff, babe! Do you think I will ever remember it? I think we'll just have to make some new memories.
Having your life begin again as Mrs.
Lambert could be a lot worse, huh? No! Stop calling me that, you bad man! This isn't official yet! Listen, we can fix that in fifteen minutes.
Come on--- I want a dress.
Wha-? She wants a dress I was thinking like, ivory, crepe-de-chine, I don't even know what crepe-de-chine is, but doesn't it sound delightful? I just, I wanna be really pretty.
Babeyou couldn't be any prettier.
I would marry you in hip waders and a space helmet.
Well, no, well you can wear that if you want to-- But, I want a dress.
What if Bo hitched a ride outta town and is dancing in a topless bar despite rival girls trying to bring her down? She's not living in "Showgirls".
My go-to worst case scenario.
Trick, there's gotta be some kinda cure.
If she has relations with anyone, she could get healed.
Oh, come on, random banging! Or the dunking could wear off.
Fae are less susceptible than humans.
Ugh My stomach hurts.
But to be safe, we need her to drink the water from the river Mnemosyne.
Okay-- It's very rare and costs a fortune.
Well, what are we supposed to do? Hold a telethon? Trick, we have to do something now.
Okay? Bo is out there.
Addoncs often keep a small stock on hand, for emergencies.
Oh-- Well, then Brother Douglas better prepare for the second coming of moi! Let's go! Alright-- Oh, this one is beautiful! It's from our Diamonds are Forever collection.
If that's your style! I dunno if it is, is it? Well you would know better than me, kitten.
Oh, I'm not sure! How much is it? No, Mr.
Lambert said money is no object.
Which is just exactly the kinda groom I like.
Yeah He seems perfect! Oh, yeah.
He is handsome, and generous, and, well, between us girls, he's unbelievably sexy! Pardon my French! Well, that is a good start, how long have you been together? I don't know! Well, practically forever then! How did you meet? I don't know that either.
Well, it's the love between you that matters.
YeahI think I really love him! I really like Oh, his jacket-- You are stunning I think we should show our lovely bride to be another gown from the Empress Line! Kitten Is anyone coming here to be with you? You know, family, or friends? There's a girl She has, she has pink hair-- No blue! Is it black! Or no, platinum.
Oh! There's a man! He's, he teaches me, he's like a, like an uncle, like a bartending uncle.
Names, numbers? There's a wolf! He's uh, this beautiful, beautiful broken wolf-man, and he's uh, who's a cop! A wolf cop? Yes! Kitten, have you seen a doctor recently? Oh, no-- I feel fine.
I feel, better and better, actually-- Okay! I see just the perfect gown, sweetheart, can you grab it it's right at the end of the rack, thank you! She's, she's lovely, isn't she? Desmond, pull up the database, I need all the Fae in Kingslynn Business Park, especially those connected with water.
Mermen, Ogopogo, Addoncs-- Yeah-- I want some answers, Acher.
And I want some questions.
You do understand how this works, don't you? Tell me what you wanna know.
Why did Petros jump? Why wouldn't he? I mean, why wouldn't you? Surely it's better than walking around, swallowing epochs of pain.
I mean, not killing yourself starts to look like cowardice.
And you're no coward! Or, are you? Killing yourself is the greatest form of cowardice.
Not if it's done for honour.
Tell me, detective are you an honourable man? I guess no sign of the water-boy, huh? Not that I can see.
Which one is it? Mnemosyne water smells like lilies with an undertone of sewage.
Okay, you work on that-- I'll toss the desk, see if I can come up with something else.
Oh! I found it.
I found something, too, an address and something that looks like a license plate number.
C1854N8.
Let's get Hale.
Yeah-- Where's the hairdresser? You're not gonna be ready in time, sweetie-- I can't go through with this.
Look, Ryan, I absolutely believe that we have strong feelings for each other, but memories are starting to come back and I'm less certain that this is what we should be doing.
Don't say that-- Look, there will be loads of other right times if this is right! Look, you are handsome, and, and, fascinating-- Stop talking-- But-- Stop-- This is so weird-- But- I kind of had feelings for the young dress girl.
Which is not exactly the wedding night that one hopes for.
Oh, God Oh-- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too, Mrs.
Lambert.
Hale says the numbers are a private plane and it took off for The Falls.
Presumably with our Addonc on it.
Maybe the water has some sort of control over him.
Or he's jonesing for a wax museum and some fudge.
Either way we don't know if Bo's with him.
Except, the plane belongs to Ryan.
Ryan Lambert? I thought he and Bo were done dating? So did this sucka Hale traced Ryan's credit card there.
"Stonemont Creek Inn".
Road trip to The Falls.
Yeah, we'd better find her, so I can kill her! Mr.
Lambert, I am at your service.
It's a spiritual crisis, Brother.
There's a woman here making a very big mistake.
Uh huh, then we'll correct her.
As my associate would have told you I'm prepared to make this worth your while.
She recognizes you.
You dunked her the first time.
It was self-defense, Mr.
Lambert-- It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Do it again, this time make it last.
So you knew Petros before he killed himself.
What about Cybelle? Cybelle? A sad lady, really.
She felt she had no future, no job, no life.
She was poisoned.
She took pills.
It's different.
Kenzi-- Called eight times.
What the hell? Is she the one that broke your heart? And someone named Trick has called seven times.
Sounds like a pet name for a prostitute.
Someone you call late at night when the silence is too much and the lone wolf needs to empty his soul into someone.
Temper, Detective-- Why do Kenzi and Trick bother you so much? They're clearly not important to you, or you'd answer their calls.
I'm busy working.
Oh, talkin' to one piddling underFae.
Are you so self-absorbed that you haven't a moment for your loved ones? What if they needed you? What if they're about to breathe their last breaths, and you can't see past your own ass long enough to help them.
Or is that what you do? So unfeeling hurting those you love every chance you get-- I don't love anyone! Then what's the point of living? Ha ha.
You poor pathetic animal-- You! Don't! Know me.
Don't I? I think you're the one who doesn't know himself.
Why do you exist? What's the point of you? Concierge said they're in the Hummingbird Room.
Don't panic, she also said there was a wedding dress involved.
Oh, no-- Yeah! I just think they should get a quickie divorce with their quickie wedding.
Fae don't believe in divorce.
Not for the first thousand years.
What?! What, like it's so wrong to expect people to give it a real shot?! Here, before the moon and stars, and great gods- Stop the insanity! Don't stop-- One million dollars.
Don't stop.
In the name of Clan Fin Arvin, I declare an objection! Yes! You are combined as husband and wife.
No, no, no-- Now, kiss and love with great joy.
I present, Mrs.
Ryan Lambert! Okay, Clan Fin Arvin fail! There's gotta be a loophole! One thousand years, Trick! One thousand years of marriage to an over-sexed, goofy-haired, seven-year-old boy! Okay?! She doesn't have the ring on yet.
The ring's compulsory.
You get the bride, I'll get the bling.
Go! Go! Hey! She's mine! Ahhh! I had her first! Bo, it's me-- Pets can't marry their owners! Flowers.
Really.
Ugh!!! Bo, it's Trick-- Drink this.
It's okay.
It'll make you feel better, love.
It'll make this all better.
Bo? Trick? Trick! Gimme the ring.
No.
Ugh! Good one.
Who was the water guy?! Brother Doug.
An Addonc.
Total brainwashing.
You thought it would be fun to get on a plane with Ry-ry and marry his creepy self.
But we stopped it before it became official.
Wow, good day at the office, guys.
You look really beautiful, Bo.
Oh-- I never really thought I'd pick this giant, puffy, marshmallow dress.
Me neither but it totally works! I know, right?! Okay, we need to get some more fancy fix-up water for groom-bot here.
I just don't get it, I mean, we don't even like each other.
Although, I, uh, I did call him.
To heal.
What? Yeah-- Okay, it's all becoming clear.
We're gonna need candles, white cloth, and Kenzi.
If I had everything you had as a proper Fae, I'd be happy.
I'd enjoy life.
Those of you in the master class, moving amongst humans as though you were men.
I am a man! And a wolf.
I live in both worlds.
That's your problem.
You're not a man or wolf.
You think you fit in both worlds but you don't fit in either.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Of course I do.
You just can't bear hearing it.
You're a lost soul, searching for an identity, searching for something to hold onto but everything you touch turns to dust.
Stop-- Stop talking! You're afloat in a sea of self doubt without a life preserver in sight.
You're tired.
Dyson, you're tired, and defeated.
Life without love's become unbearable.
Stop it! Not worth living.
Wouldn't you agree? Save your friends the pain of betrayal, of their love for you.
Go on five pounds of pressure on the trigger and all your misery will simply go away.
It's time to put it all behind you.
You're a failure as a man, and you're a failure as a wolf.
I am still a wolf.
This is what you did to them, isn't it? This is how you killed them? I only held up a mirror and showed them the ugly truth, just like I'm doing with you.
The only ugly thing here is you.
You're empty, and you're alone.
The only joy you get is from causing misery to real Fae.
I am a real Fae! No! You hate yourself! And you prey on the weakness of your masters.
You think that if you can, rise above them for a moment it will mean you're not a, sad and-- unwanted, pathetic abomination.
I've killed dozens of you with little more than my intellect, you're NOT better than me! I don't think I am.
But I do think I just got a confession.
You didn't win, Detective.
You've only prolonged the inevitable.
When you take your life, the victory'll be mine! Detective!!! I'm still in your mind! Make a tiny incision on his wrist.
Just a tiny one? Tiny! I don't know why I'm the right person for the job here.
It doesn't matter why, just be careful, you might feel a little faint.
Ugh, fainting is for wimps! Now-- With harm to none, thy will be done.
With harm to none, thy will be done.
The wrist I cleave, and the other leave.
The wrist I cleave and the other leave.
Thou cannot harm him, Bo.
Thou cannot harm him, Bo? Wait, what'd I do? Shh! Headrush Headrush! There she goes-- Oh! Ah! I thought I was dreaming but you are wearing a white dress.
Actually, it's champagne.
We almost got married.
I need a whiskey.
And a beer, with a side of strippers.
Is she okay? She'll be fine in a couple minutes.
For the record! I was out of my mind, too.
Sure you were What happened to us? An Addonc.
Well, for me anyway.
Something else happened to you, which I am dying to hear about.
Oh! That's my bad! I was with this Huldra last night.
Sonja-- And that's when you called for your little emergency service call and oh god she went totally ballistic and crazy jealous and she has been known to melt portions of people's brain to control her enemies, you know, so That must be it.
Did I catch the bouquet? Hey-- Here.
Here-- Come on-- I'm gonna have us flown back and we'll go kick some Addonc's ass.
Well, that's exactly what I was going to do.
One more beating, for old time's sake? Deal.
Deal.
Let's go.
Wow-- A generous donor, has enabled our mission to work in the Turks and Caicos, so, quickly, we will pack up-- Not so fast, Dougy.
Mr.
Lambert! What a pleasure.
I want my money back.
In the words of our Lord no.
We can, however, provide you with a baptism for your generosity.
That's a very generous offer-- Bring it in, folks! Refreshing taste of Mnemosyne! A zero calorie mind-altering beverage.
Breath deeply-- No! No, you can't! Prepare to lose your religion.
He broke the mold when he made you.
Sit down! While I call my friend, The Ash.
Hey! Nice work.
Huh? You, too.
It almost makes me sad we don't get to do it again.
Well-- It had to end eventually.
Oil and water.
Mmmhmm-- Will you, um-- Will you still wear that bracelet that I gave you? Wow, that is strangely sentimental of you-- It's got a chip in it, it'll warn me when you're within fifty feet.
Oh-- I walk the other way, I won't be tempted.
Good plan.
Goodbye, Ryan.
Bye, beautiful.
I can't believe you lied to me about Ryan.
Kenzi, I know.
Okay? I'm sorry! Verbal apology number 84 if you're keeping track.
You know, if you woulda told me the truth then maybe I coulda found you earlier.
I know.
I'm sorry, Kenzi.
Verbal apology number 85, for the folks at home.
You really shouldn't fib to people who are close to you.
Especially when you expect them to be your maid of honour.
When it's for realz, you know? Back in two shakes.
How's your beer? Is it cold enough? Been having a little bit of trouble with the taps.
Did you hear what Kenzi just said? About lying to the people that are closest to us? I heard.
I don't think that Ryan's girlfriend melted his prefrontal cortex.
I think that I bled on him.
Happens, you've bled on people before.
Yeah, but this is the first time that one of them went all ga-ga and started stalking me.
Something was different.
He was acting like, like one of Aife's-- my mom's, Chippendale boy-toys.
Perish the thought-- I just thought that you might know more.
As a man who can control destiny with his blood, and who knew right away how to bring Ryan back.
Are you asking me something? Not yet.
We have to focus on the battle ahead.
But when I ask you the questions that I have-- I am gonna want answers.
Real.
Honest.
Answers.
Message received.
Loud and clear.