7th Heaven s01e06 Episode Script

- [SPOOKY MUSIC.]
- [OWL HOOTS.]
In a dark, spooky house not far from where we are right now, lives a seven-foot-tall ogre named Mike the Mutant.
What's an ogre? A big, ugly man.
A nuclear accident made Mike mutate into the hideous creature he is today.
Ever since then, every Halloween, one unlucky little kid doesn't come back from trick or treating.
Why? Because Mike must feed! He must feed on the tender flesh of little children! Maybe she's a little too young for this.
Stop it.
I'm not scared.
One Halloween night, little Riley Gilchrist went out trick or treating, all alone.
He found himself in front of a dark house, overgrown with vines.
He climbed the stairs.
Creak, creak, creak.
A cold wind blew across his face.
- [WIND HOWLS.]
- [SIMON GASPS.]
As he reached out to ring the bell, the door swung open.
- ERIC: Hey, Matt.
- [ALL SCREAM.]
- What? - [HAPPY BARKS.]
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
Dad! You scared us to death! Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual.
- What are you guys doing in here? - Nothing.
- Just talking.
- In the dark? With a flashlight? Daddy, are you bigger than the bad man? Ruthie, I'm bigger, and I'm stronger and I work for God.
Yeah.
These guys aren't scaring you too much, are they? No.
OK.
Carry on.
- What's all the screaming? - I walked in on Matt's ghost story.
Why am I being snubbed? I love ghost stories.
- Sorry.
- Come on, honey.
It'll be fun.
- Daddy hates Halloween.
- I do not.
- Yeah, you do, Dad.
- You do, honey.
You always have.
Well, have fun, everybody.
I won't wait up for you.
[MATT CACKLES.]
[SHOWER.]
- [TOILET FLUSHING.]
- MARY: Out! - Hey! Do you mind? - Oops.
Sorry.
I didn't really want to brush my teeth anyway.
Hold it, Dragon Breath, come back in here.
I don't want to be responsible for you grossing out the fifth grade.
Thanks.
I think.
- Stop.
- Why? It's mine, and I don't want you sticking it in your disgusting hairy armpits.
OK.
Would it change your mind if I told you I'd used it every day for the past two months? Those are very good jack-o'-lanterns, sweetie.
I like this one.
- He's very scary.
- That one's Daddy.
He's scary in a nice way.
Don't say you're letting Ruthie enter the pumpkin carving contest.
Why shouldn't she? She shouldn't play with sharp objects, and she has no chance against me.
Maybe her talented, generous big brother could help her.
Matt? No, Simon.
Sorry, the carnival's tomorrow, I have to carve my pumpkin and work on my victory speech.
This'll be my third win in a row.
Pride goeth before the fall, Simon.
Really? I thought summer goeth before the fall.
And spring before the summer.
And you're about to goeth to your room.
Let's talk about Ruthie and her costume.
RUTHIE: OK.
- So what are you going as? - What am I going as? - Anything you want.
- Anything? Sure.
- Good morning.
- Hi, honey.
- Morning! - Hi, Dad.
- It's a beautiful day.
- You're in a good mood.
I slept the sleep of the innocent last night.
Yeah.
No monsters in my dreams.
OK, so I had one little teeny dream.
It didn't seem so teeny when you were shouting, "Don't barbecue me.
" - Simon, don't be late for school.
- OK, I'm going.
And, Mom, don't forget to pick me up some pumpkins today.
Good ones, OK? Please.
- Please.
- I won't forget.
Oh.
Which reminds me, I've been meaning to tell you this.
I was at the market place and a woman in line mentioned she was from Binghamton.
- My Binghamton? - No.
Binghamton, Italy.
- Small world.
- That's what I thought.
Would you stop by the store and get the carnival decorations? Please.
- Please.
- Since you put it that way.
Thanks.
- What's her name? - Who? - The - Cindy something.
- She appeared to be about our age.
- I don't remember a Cindy.
There was one girl there you didn't go out with? I didn't say that.
I don't remember her.
This one's happily married.
Her husband is Howard No, Henry.
Henry Bernard.
It's definitely true.
I've seen his house.
No way.
That's just a story.
There's no such person as Mike the Mutant.
- Oh, yes, there is.
- Yeah.
Have you ever heard of Riley Gilchrist? - The little dude he ate.
- That didn't really happen.
Yeah? My cousin works for the gas company.
He told me when he read his meter he saw bones in the basement.
That's just a stupid story to scare kids with.
- No, it isn't.
- OK, fine, don't believe us.
I don't care.
- Good.
- It could've happened.
Yeah, I can prove it to you, if you want.
- How? - What are you doin' after school? - I don't know, guys.
- Yeah.
Road trip.
Ha ha! - Mommy! Mommy! - Hi, honey, what is it? - Tiffany's gonna be ET! - Won't that be fun? - Her mommy got it for her at the store.
- Isn't that nice? - Mommy? - Hm? Do I have to be a dinosaur? Henry Bernard.
Are you sure you heard her say they broke up? Everybody in my gym class heard her.
You think she'd go out with me? - Hello, Matthew.
- Hi.
Hi, Roxanne.
Oh, Mary, did you hear that I broke up with my boyfriend? Really? I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm devastated.
What are you wearing to the Halloween dance? I'm going to a carnival at our church.
Oh.
That sounds fun.
But I wouldn't miss the school dance for anything, unless no guys ask me because they don't know I broke up with my boyfriend.
- You mean no one's asked you? - No, and I'm just dying to go.
I love costume parties.
Really? Well, how'd you like to go with me? I'd love to.
Thank you.
- Oui.
J'accepte.
[GIGGLES.]
- Excellente.
Here it is.
Mike the Mutant's house.
So what? It doesn't prove anything.
Yeah? Maybe you'd believe us when you see his giant vegetables.
They're huge.
He shoots 'em with radiation.
He's got pumpkins back there the size of Volkswagens.
- Yeah, right.
- All right, fine, don't believe us.
- Fine.
- Fine.
Maybe you'll believe us when I go and steal one and I bring it out.
- How are you going to carry it? - Your chick is really a drag.
At least I've got one.
OK, why don't you come with us and see for yourself? I'm kinda curious.
Fine with me.
BOY: Get down! - Who's gonna go first? - Go ahead.
We'll follow you.
I could use a hand here, you know.
- MAN: You could get hurt doing that.
- [LUCY GASPS, SCREAMS.]
- MAN: Don't come back here, ever! - [LUCY YELLS.]
Here's Batgirl.
She's cute.
I don't like bats.
Sylvester and Tweety Bird.
- I don't look good in yellow.
- Are you kidding? - Who doesn't want to be Tweety Bird? - Me.
Look.
Oh, my gosh.
- Sparkle, sparkle? - Yuck.
That's about it.
Honey, why are you so particular this year? Because I want to be prettier than Simon's pumpkin.
- Why? - Cos that's all anybody talks about.
Baby.
I'm sorry.
I'll tell you what, you can pick out anything you want, OK? I guess I'll just take that old dinosaur thing you were making.
- MATT: Delivery boy! - ERIC: Huh! - Sorry, I didn't know you were napping.
- No, just resting my eyes.
- I have a little eye fatigue.
- I get that sometimes.
Right in the middle of church.
So, did you did you get everything? I cleaned them out.
I got black and orange crepe paper, balloons, paper skeletons, black cats, witches on brooms, the works.
I appreciate your doing this for me.
I just couldn't face it this year.
You send me every year.
You hate Halloween.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do, Dad.
Well, at any rate, I owe you one.
Well, can I use the car to drive to the dance tomorrow night? It's fine with me.
Check with Mary, see if she needs a ride, too.
Mary's not going.
She's sticking around for the carnival.
- So, what's your costume? - The same thing I always go as.
A hobo.
I don't know if that's such a good idea.
Hobo is a euphemism for a homeless person.
It's not appropriate to use a person's misfortune for our entertainment.
It's OK.
See, my hobo is a hobo by choice.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
He's rejected bourgeois values to ride the rails and eat beans out of a can.
- He's not into possessions.
- Bourgeois? - It means middle-class.
- I'm aware of that.
You really do hate Halloween, don't you? Hm? Look, Valerie, if anybody asks, tell them I'm going to the carnival.
No, I told them I was going to the dance with you and Denise.
I'm not gonna get caught.
Just stick to what I told you, OK? How am I supposed to craft a masterpiece with a flawed canvas? I'm sorry.
All they had were flawed canvases at the market.
Lucy! Thank you.
That's the most beautiful pumpkin I've seen.
- I've waited my whole life for it.
- Forget it, it's mine.
- All right, I'll buy it from you.
- Nope.
Fine.
Then just tell me where you got it, so I can go get one.
- There aren't any more.
- Are you sure? I'd like to get a few for the carnival myself.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Where exactly did you get this pumpkin, Luce? It's a long story.
Is it possible that maybe you liberated it from somebody's garden? Then you also know what you have to do, don't you? - Mom, it's not that easy.
- I don't want to hear excuses.
You turn around and return that pumpkin to its owner and apologise.
Yes, ma'am.
Do you want me to go with you? No, it's OK.
Tough call.
But you did the right thing.
I'm not getting you another pumpkin, Simon.
[BOTH YELL.]
You scared me.
I scared you? Yeah! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? - What are you looking for? - The cape for Simon's costume.
Isn't Halloween over yet? It's been going on for weeks.
One more day, Dad.
I understand you're joining us for the carnival.
Actually, no.
I'm going to a dance at school.
Matt said you were going to the carnival.
I changed my mind.
Disgusting.
Here, Dad.
You can go to the carnival as Daniel Boone.
Actually, that's the Davy Crockett model.
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Davy Crockett.
I mean obsessed.
I never missed an episode of the TV show, I read every book I could get my hands on.
Remember the Alamo.
It's definitely you, Dad.
Hm! I don't know why I bother carving a pumpkin.
My brother Simon always wins the contest.
You can keep the pumpkin you took.
You can have as many as you want.
That's OK.
Can I ask you something, Mr Mitchell? My dad was Mr Mitchell.
I'm Mike.
Mike.
How did you get that scar? I got shot.
No way! Really? Aren't you sure? Sometimes, I have trouble remembering.
That's OK.
It's not really important.
You know, I'd really like to bring my friends over to meet you.
I don't really like visitors very much.
If you want, you could come over to my house and meet my family.
I don't go out much either.
You should meet my Dad.
How about if I bring him over sometime? - You'd like him.
He's really nice.
- No! I have to go inside now.
Mr Mitchell? Mike? Mike? MIKE: Lucy can come over is she wants, but I don't want any friends to come! [TICKING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Just remember, I got dibs on the Davy Crockett costume.
- Don't worry, Eric.
You'll get it.
- I better.
Yeah, cos I'm sick of hearing you talk about that coonskin cap.
All right, children, come and pick out your Halloween costumes.
But I want you to do it in an orderly fashion.
[CLAMOURING.]
I got it! - Eric Camden, what are you doing? - CHILDREN: Fight! Fight! You know I wanted that! I got it for you.
I got it for you, Eric.
I wasn't going to keep it.
I got it for you.
I got it for you, Eric.
Don't tell me you couldn't get back to sleep.
I probably had too much coffee last night.
It was decaf.
Well, then I guess I'm just too keyed up.
Too full of the Halloween spirit.
Too full of something.
When you feel like talking, I'll gladly listen.
Right.
Thanks.
What're you doing up so early? Are you feeling OK? Yeah.
- I just couldn't sleep.
- Why not? I couldn't stop thinking about pumpkins.
- I've got to win that contest.
- Simon, come over here.
Sit down.
I think you're taking this contest way too seriously.
Obviously, you don't understand, Dad.
It's my third year.
My three-peat.
It's never happened in the history of the carnival.
I only started the church carnival three years ago to raise money for Sunday school.
Don't make such a big deal out of a contest that should be fun.
There is a chance you could lose.
I could be wrong about this, but isn't your job to encourage people? A hobo? You can't go as a hobo.
No, see, my hobo isn't homeless.
He's rejecting bourgeois values.
You can't go as a hobo, cos I already got you a costume.
What costume? I thought it would be really cool if we went as a couple.
Oh.
OK.
I'm going as Roxanne, Cyrano de Bergerac's beloved Roxanne.
- From the play, Cyrano.
- And that would make me - Cyrano, of course.
- The guy with the big nose? Uh-huh.
I got the costumes from the drama department.
I don't know.
I wasn't counting on this being a big production.
Come on, Matthew.
It's so romantic.
You see, Cyrano, he loved Roxanne more than life itself.
And eventually she learned to look beyond mere physical appearance, and she fell in love with him, too.
Deeply and completely.
OK.
- Uh-oh.
- What? You misspelled "tonight".
- You know what? - What? I hate Halloween.
I know.
I'm not too crazy about it either.
You? Why not? It's a long story.
Well, come on.
What's wrong? Do you know who Mike Mitchell is? I knew him before his accident.
So he was in a nuclear accident? Who told you that? Everybody.
Well, as is often the case, everybody's wrong.
He was an artist.
He used to build mammoth abstract sculptures out of scrap steel and iron.
They were big and dramatic and exuberant.
Kind of like him.
Like he used to be.
He struggled financially, as most artists do.
To make ends meet, he he took a job pumping gas at night.
A couple of guys came in to rob the place.
One of them pulled a gun.
Mike tried to stop them and got shot.
Poor Mike.
Yeah.
I stop by now and then, but he won't answer his door.
He's pretty much a recluse.
Why are kids so mean to him? He can't help the way he is.
Lots of times we make decisions about people based on appearances, rather than taking the time to find out the truth.
Why is that? I wish I knew, sweetie.
I suspect that it's usually fear.
Except, Dad, he's more afraid than anybody, and he's not mean at all.
He's really nice.
Is he nice enough to forgive you for stealing his pumpkin? Yeah.
Well, it sounds to me like Mike's found himself a good friend.
You look adorable, honey.
Here, look at Mama.
You are the cutest dinosaur I ever saw.
It's hot.
Well, OK, I can put some ventilation holes in here for you if you want.
OK? - The neck pinches.
- Well, I can fix that.
I can't move my hands.
OK, well, come on over here and sit down.
You don't have to wear those.
I can take those off.
This way.
All right, OK.
You hate it, don't you? I know how you feel, Short Stuff.
What am I gonna do? I can't go to the dance like this.
- You look funny.
- I look like an idiot.
Mom, can you fix it? Well, I don't know, maybe we can remove the hat.
Maybe you can try my cape over a little bit.
No, I think we better put the hat back on.
Maybe between the big nose and the hat, nobody will know who you are.
What is that? I don't know.
I found it on the front porch.
Wow! What is it? Nothing.
- I smell pumpkin! - So? - It's a pumpkin, isn't it? - It's none of your beeswax.
You're not entering the contest, are you? Maybe, maybe not.
Man.
- MARY: This will give me nightmares.
- That's the idea, right? I guess so.
If you blow up all the balloons, I can handle everything else.
OK.
No problem.
I don't want you to be late for the dance, so take off when you need to.
I'll meet Valerie and Denise whenever.
Where are the black curtains for the haunted house? Would this be them? Yeah.
Poor thing.
She must be exhausted from torturing me.
- You want to move her? - No, I can hang the curtains later.
Besides, you know how grumpy she is after a nap.
Let's not disturb her.
I wish someone would say that about me.
- What? - Oh.
Let's not disturb her.
[WHOOPING.]
Hey! Stop! Stop it! I can't believe I even thought I liked you.
Come on, you guys.
Let's go! Stop it! - Stop! - No way.
This is payback time! This is for all those kids you gobbled up, you mutant! Yeah! You big freak! - That's enough.
Knock it off! - Yes! - Leave him alone! Get out of here! - [BOYS YELL.]
Mike! It's me, Lucy! Are you OK? Are they gone? They're gone.
It's OK, it's OK.
Not everybody is like those guys.
A lot of people are.
No.
Most people are really nice.
The mean ones are probably just afraid of you because they're ignorant.
People are afraid of me? Well, yeah.
- Why? - I don't know.
I wish they wouldn't be.
[OWL HOOTS.]
Hey.
Cute.
Thanks.
Do you know anyone who could baby-sit tonight on short notice? - Baby-sit who? - Whom.
- Whom? - You know whom.
Ruthie.
She refuses to go out without a costume.
She hates my suggestions.
I've got to get back to the church, Lucy's already gone, you've got your dance and.
Maybe Mrs Horton can do it.
I'm gonna go call her.
No, wait.
Let me try.
I'll get her to wear a costume.
Trick or treat! And you are? Sorry, I couldn't make the other costume work.
It's just not me.
You couldn't possibly be my date, because my date would have on the Cyrano costume I went to so much trouble to get, and which goes perfectly with my costume.
You see, my date wouldn't show up here dressed as a homeless person.
A hobo.
Whatever.
My date would know that if he came here dressed as a derelict BOTH: A hobo.
then that would mean that I was the date of a hobo, and that would make me a loser.
I am not a loser.
What? What about Roxanne loving Cyrano in spite of his appearance, Roxanne? Oh, please.
That was fiction.
Let me tell you something.
You look beautiful in that dress.
Incredibly beautiful.
But, in spite of your appearance, the thrill is gone for me, babe.
Matthew! Wait! Do you really think that I look incredibly beautiful? Come on, guys, let's go! We can't be late! - Did Mary have any luck? - I don't know.
She made me get her a mop, but that could be to clean up the blood.
Nothing would surprise me at this point.
- Ta-da! - Ruthie! You look great.
What are you? - [BARKS.]
- She's Happy.
She can't go as Happy.
- Happy is going as Happy.
- Simon! - Come on, you two.
- How did you do it? I sat her down and told her, "You better get in a costume, go to the carnival, and be happy!" And she said, "OK.
" - You're a miracle worker.
- Have fun.
You, too.
Don't forget to leave candy on the porch for the trick or treaters.
Not a problem.
Woo-hoo! - Hi, kids.
- Hi! Woo! You scared the daylights out of me.
Have fun.
[RINGS BELL.]
ERIC: Hi.
Um Aren't you a little old to be doing this? Well.
I'm not.
I mean, I'm not doing this.
I mean, what the other kids are doing Is your Dad home? Hi.
Can I help you? Are you Henry Bernard? Yeah.
Have you got a minute? Zack, why don't you go in and finish putting on your costume? OK.
I'm Eric Camden.
And I came to bring you this.
Why? - What's this about? - Binghamton Elementary.
1964.
Halloween.
Davy Crockett.
You don't remember me, do you? No.
Sorry.
No.
I'm the one who's sorry.
I'm sorry about 1964, and I'm sorry for bothering you tonight.
- That's OK.
- Good night.
Wait a minute.
Camden.
Eric Camden, right? Right.
You came over here to give me your hat? Well, I kinda thought it was long overdue.
Oh.
I never wanted this stupid hat, you know.
I got it for you.
I know.
I'm sorry about hitting you.
Me too.
You want to come in for some coffee or something? Yeah, thanks.
[SPOOKY MUSIC.]
- One for you.
- Thanks.
You're welcome.
MAN: Oh! WOMAN: Let's hurry.
Get your votes in for your favourite pumpkin.
We'll be announcing the winner soon.
Get your votes in for your favourite pumpkin.
- [ANNIE YELLS.]
- [MATT LAUGHS.]
- What happened to the dance? - It wasn't what I thought it would be.
- I'm sorry.
- Look! A butterfly! Who did that for you? - Lucy's friend! [BARKS.]
- [ANNIE LAUGHS.]
Lucy's set up a booth out in the hall with a big guy in a Frankenstein mask.
He can really paint, that guy.
Maybe I'll get a tattoo.
Happy Halloween, little lady.
You made it! Dad, that's a pretty bold hat.
- You like it? - That's real animal skin.
Isn't it inappropriate to use an animal's misfortune for entertainment? Oh, it's OK.
This raccoon became a hat by choice.
- Where did you get it? - Henry Bernard.
From Binghamton? Yeah, he went to a lot of trouble to get it for me.
So I stopped by his house to thank him.
This is great.
I love Halloween.
- What's come over you? - I'm happy.
You can't be Happy.
Ruthie's Happy.
- Where's Mary? - She went to the dance.
- No, she didn't.
- She didn't? - No, she told me she was coming here.
- She told me she's going to the dance.
- I know where she is.
- Where? - She's at home.
- Why would she stay home by herself? Because she's diabolical, but brilliant.
[SOUL MUSIC.]
[PHONE.]
Hello? Hey, Valerie.
Yeah, it worked great.
No, I'm gonna stay here.
It's the only night of the year I get to be alone.
There are seven people in this family.
OK, bye, Valerie! Mary Camden's alone at the top of the key.
She aims.
She shoots! She scores! Mmm.
I love Halloween.
All right, everybody.
The judges have reached a decision.
The winner of the Glenoak Community Church Halloween Carnival Annual Pumpkin Carving Contest is - Lucy Camden.
- [APPLAUSE.]
Today, my dad told me things aren't always the way they seem at first.
The truth is, I didn't really carve this pumpkin.
I just put my name on it.
The real winner of the contest is my friend, Mr Mike Mitchell.
[HUSHED.]
Take off your mask.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Simon.
Hi, I'm Simon Camden.
I want to shake the hand of a master.
I've never seen a better carved pumpkin.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm really sorry about before.
Don't tell me.
Tell him.
Sorry.
It'll never happen again.
Thanks.
Those eggs are stinky.
- We'll come by tonight and clean it up.
- Yeah.
Come on, guys.
Isn't that my clerical robe? Sorry, Dad.
And about the pumpkin contest.
- Just so you know, I'll be back.
- So will I.