7th Heaven s03e09 Episode Script
Let's Talk About Sex
So don't forget to call me when you get home.
Please.
Standard operating procedure.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Bye.
- Tomorrow night, right? So since we're all chatting here, you won't mind my asking where exactly, and I mean, where exactly, the two of you will be seeing each other tomorrow night? Nowhere.
Down.
I better be getting home so I can call you.
I thought you were going to a party for the basketball team tomorrow.
I am.
And I thought Mary was going to a girls' basketball team sleepover.
Luce, Mom wants you.
I won't forget.
I got you on speed dial.
Mom's not home.
It was the quickest way I could get you upstairs.
Well, here I am.
The basketball sleepover tomorrow night, like the one last Friday night, is - Is? - Co-ed.
- Co-ed? - Co-ed.
Corey's parents let us stay in her basement.
We bring CDs, food, videos and we just hang out.
We do the exact same stuff that we do at an all-girls' sleepover, only the guys' varsity team is there too.
A co-ed sleepover? Yeah, a co-ed sleepover.
- You got a problem with that? - I don't have a problem.
I'm surprised Mom and Dad don't have a problem.
What do they say? Nothing.
They'll probably say something once I tell them, but I haven't told them.
When were you and Jordan going to tell me? I don't really know about Jordan, but I was thinking never.
Was Jordan there last weekend? No.
Not everyone comes every week.
But the invitation is always open for everyone on either team to come whenever they want.
You're not on the basketball team.
Fine.
So just tell me, no one's kissing or making out or doing anything, like having sex? With 20 other people around? No.
Yeah, right.
How dumb do you think I am? I'm not Mom and Dad, you know.
What? - Nothing.
- Nothing.
You're talking about sex.
- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.
Yes, you are.
I can see it in your faces.
Just because you can't find the topic for your human sexuality project doesn't mean everybody's talking about sex behind your back.
Mom told her and then she told me.
Well, if either of you have any suggestions, I'm listening.
Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but if either of you is thinking about having sex, forget about it.
That means you, Mary.
Hi.
You looking for the "My First Baby Class"? First? Oh, no.
Actually, this is my sixth.
Or-- Or rather, sixth and seventh.
I'm having twins.
I was looking for the alternative class.
I thought I'd try something different.
How about a condom? The alternative birth class is on Monday-Wednesday, and this is Thursday.
But you're welcome to join us.
You could be like our visiting Ph.
D.
It's okay if you don't have a partner.
Oh, no.
I have a partner.
Believe me.
Seven kids? Oh, yeah, I've got a partner.
The partner of all partners.
He's just out signing up for one of our other collaborations, Simon, for a babysitting class.
He's getting certified.
Oh, not so he can baby-sit these two.
It's for his girlfriend.
Well, I mean, his girlfriend's not a baby.
Neither is Simon.
Well, I mean, he'll always be my baby.
You know how that goes.
But he and his girlfriend are 12.
They're practically grown.
But not grown enough to have a baby.
They're just babysitting for the money.
But they love children.
Here he is.
My partner and husband.
Why do I suddenly feel old? Okay, you two, in or out? In.
So it's just yada, yada, yada until the sun comes up? - No.
Eventually most of us fall asleep.
- Where? Wherever you can find a place to throw your sleeping bag.
No one ever throws their sleeping bag on top of someone else's? No, and that's it.
Give it a rest.
Okay, okay.
But if you were to do something with a guy, when would that be? Not in high school.
I'm definitely not gonna have sex in high school.
So when? In college? I don't know.
I'll make a college plan when I get to college.
But I am in high school, so this is my high school plan.
Why isn't your plan to wait until you're married? It'll probably end up being that, but as plans go, that doesn't work for me.
- Because? - Because right now it is impossible for me to think of myself as ever getting married.
And if I think like that, then I might start thinking that it's too long to wait or that it'll never happen, so I might as well just chuck the whole plan.
Instead, I'm going with a short-term plan.
Short-term plans are much more realistic.
For example, if you don't drop this subject, my plan is to scream for help.
Really? Because if help comes, then you're gonna have to tell them what we're talking about.
- Hello? - Lucy.
Hi.
Did you just get home? I never call you when I just get home, because then I would feel like a wuss.
- I like to walk around a minute first.
- Whatever.
So did anything happen on your walk? Yeah.
I decided I'm not going to the sleepover tomorrow night.
I figured we could do something instead.
You could have told me it was a sleepover instead of just a party.
It's not like I'm gonna go Fatal Attraction on you.
I'm not insanely jealous or insecure or anything.
- I have a life.
- I know you have a life.
You had one before me and you'll have one after me.
After you? What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
I know I didn't get my date request in before your deadline.
I just thought I'd take a shot.
If you already have plans, I'll just go and not stay over.
I don't think so.
I-- I mean, as it happens, I don't have any plans, and even though it's last minute, I'm available.
Great.
Then we'll talk about it tomorrow at school.
Oh, just a minute.
Why did you decide to pass on the sleepover? And did you decide to pass on tomorrow night's sleepover or all the sleepovers from now on? All sleepovers.
My mom's not thrilled with the idea of teenagers of the opposite sex left together in a basement unchaperoned to sleep.
I think it's ridiculous.
No one's gonna do anything in a crowd and if someone wants to have sex, they're gonna find a way.
They don't have to go to a party to do it.
- So have you found a way? - What? I'm only gonna ask this once, so pay attention and I want the truth.
Okay.
Have you ever had sex? Yes, and that's as much as I want to say about it.
I had my doll fed, burped and in a fresh diaper before the rest of the class knew which end to powder.
I know how to take a temperature, tell if a cut needs stitches and make someone throw up.
- You can make someone throw up? - It's a gift.
I cannot believe I have to go back three more Thursdays to get certified.
You'd think an hour's worth of training would cover everything - anybody needs to know about kids.
- Yeah, you'd think.
At any rate, it'll be great to have your help when the twins arrive.
No offence, but I doubt you can afford me.
Are we paying for this certification or is he? I invited Barbara and Cassandra over tomorrow.
I'm gonna show them how to cook a vegetarian meal that they can also strain into fresh baby food.
Oh, great.
I'll look forward to dining with them.
What else will I be looking forward to doing? Well, I was wondering if you could talk Cassandra's boyfriend into coming to class with her.
He doesn't have to marry her.
She wants him there for the birth.
She doesn't have any family.
I'll give it my best shot.
What else will I be doing besides enjoying a wonderful vegetarian dining experience with family and friends? Well, while you were at the drinking fountain, I kind of told Barbara's boyfriend, you know, the sweet guy with the funny hat, Sam, that you would help him find some work maybe.
High school diploma? G.
E.
D.
? One useful skill? - Does he have a record? - Yeah, possession of something.
A stolen something? A kidnapped something? A drug something? Eric, I just met these people.
I didn't wanna butt into every aspect of their lives.
No, of course not.
- That's your job.
- That's my job.
Oh, and we're not gonna be enjoying that lovely vegetarian meal here.
We're gonna grab dinner at the pool hall, the girls and I.
Because I'll already be at the pool hall with the guys.
Well, they're teenagers.
They don't wanna hang out at the house.
All right.
Whatever.
So how was your class? - Well, I don't wanna brag.
- Since when? What can I do for you? Would you mind babysitting Amy and Zin-Zin? I need a little time to myself.
Amy is lactose intolerant and Zin-Zin is allergic to strawberries, so be very careful with bedtime snacks.
I'm a professional.
I don't work for free.
One lousy class and you're already putting the screws to me? Two bucks, per hour, per kid.
Got change for a 20? This money isn't real.
Neither are they.
Good night and get out.
How about a cheque? Will you take a cheque? Go.
Am I the only one in class without this stupid human sexuality project? I think so.
I'm halfway done with mine.
What did you do? I interviewed your parents.
Kidding.
No.
I had a bunch of guys look right into the camera and give me the best lines they use to get women to have sex with them.
Then this weekend, I'm gonna cut in women responding to those lines.
You know, some sensitive, some funny, others just plain rude.
My sister's gonna do a monologue where she says that men don't talk women into anything because women have minds of their own.
Sounds great.
Thanks.
Good luck, pal.
But just tell me when.
Or better, tell me who.
Wait.
Was there more than one who? Oh, yeah.
There was an entire Who-ville.
Would you stop? You're making me sorry I ever told you the truth.
We're done with this subject.
You better give it a rest or he's gonna end up breaking up with you.
I'm surprised he ever went out with me in the first place.
Every time he kisses me, all he probably thinks about is how I'm doing it wrong.
He's obviously a much more experienced guy than I realised.
- So? - So I can't help but wonder why he even goes out with me and why he hasn't tried anything with me.
Maybe because he really cares for you and he respects you.
Maybe he just finds me safe and unattractive.
How is the weather in the land of the big-time stupid? Maybe I should see if he's really attracted to me or not.
- What? - You heard me.
Yeah, I heard you, but are we talking about what I think we're talking about? - Forget it! - Why? You just started dating.
You're still a baby.
You can't have sex.
So, what's on your agenda tonight? Well, I was hoping to try out my babysitting expertise, but I can't seem to find anyone to baby-sit.
Deena's been trying to help me out, but no one will hire anyone without experience and you can't get experience unless someone hires you.
It's a fishy circle.
I think you mean "vicious.
" It's a vicious circle.
And it should stay that way.
Don't look at me.
I mean it.
Don't look at me.
It's just that Mary's going to a sleepover, Lucy has a date with Jordan, Matt is busy researching his project, and your dad and I would like to go out.
I'd like to go out too.
Mommy, don't make me do it.
Don't make me give Simon babysitting lessons.
Please.
Don't worry.
If you don't wanna stay home with Simon, you don't have to.
Thanks.
I don't want to.
Make her wanna stay home with you.
How am I supposed to do that? Make her evening fun.
Fun.
Okay.
Yeah, everyone says I'm a fun guy.
I-- I can do fun.
Yeah.
Can I come in? Please do.
You can't make babysitting me sound fun.
I'm not stupid.
I've been through this with Matt, Mary and Lucy.
Yeah, but did Matt, Mary or Lucy make your bed into a limo and get Hoowie to drive you and your dolls to the moon? All three of them.
What else you got Mr.
Fun? What? You can't just shuffle me off to Hoowie-ville and call it babysitting.
Okay, let's just cut the kids' stuff.
I'll split everything I get for babysitting you 50-50.
You think Mom and Dad are gonna pay you? The only way I'll let you baby-sit me is if you let me do everything I want, when I want.
No fire, sharp objects or playing in the car.
Done.
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
You wanna grab a pizza with us? I'd love to, but I'm behind on my project.
- I'll have to pass this time.
- I understand.
I wouldn't be going out if I hadn't handed mine in already.
You're kidding.
What'd you do? I interviewed female athletes as a part of a study on why women in sports are less likely to become pregnant.
You can't get pregnant if you're playing basketball.
Well, that's good to hear.
My younger sister plays basketball.
What about you? Oh, I talked to couples who have been married for 50 years or more, and they still have great sex.
That's good too.
I have nothing.
I'm blocked.
You can't think of a single subject about sex? - That's hard to believe.
- Why? I don't know.
You look like you think about it all the time.
- See you Monday.
- Have a good weekend.
I don't feel like hanging out with a group tonight.
Is there someplace we can go to be alone? - Your living room? - No.
Someplace where we won't be interrupted.
Maybe we can just go for a drive? I don't know what's going on here, but you know that your parents prefer that we hang with a group.
I can't even imagine asking your dad if it would be okay if we took a little moonlight drive to nowhere.
So don't ask.
What? Why are you whispering? Just pick me up at 8, okay? So, what did you and Jordan decide to do tonight? That would be my personal business.
Hi.
Barbara and Cassandra, these are two of my babies, Lucy and Mary.
Mary's 16 and I'm 15.
- I'm 16 too.
- Yeah, me too.
I'm giving a little cooking lesson.
Wanna join us? That's okay.
I'm gonna eat at the sleepover.
And I'm going out with Jordan, we'll probably grab a burger or something.
Oh, be careful.
Seven months ago, I went out for a burger and look where I ended up.
I went out for sushi.
Are you meeting friends? - We usually do.
- Yes, you usually do.
So where are you and Jordan and your friends meeting? I don't know.
Well, call Jordan and find out for me, okay? Look, I know where your sister's going to be.
I need to know where you are going to be.
I didn't realise this was going to be such a challenging question.
All right.
All right.
That was me, all right.
Don't ask, don't tell.
- It was really nice meeting you guys.
- Yeah.
This one's still dancing.
- Isn't that neat? - Yeah.
If I could just keep him in there until I grow up and finish school and get a job.
It won't be easy, but if you make up your mind that that's what you wanna do, you can do it.
I'll help you do it.
What I really want is to back up seven months and say: "I don't have anything to prove to you, so back off.
" I've gotta fill out all this information just to bus tables? It's just a formality.
They're gonna give you a shot at the job.
You sure? Because I don't wanna do this if I'm not getting the job.
They know your background.
They don't know everything.
They know you served time for possession of crack cocaine, but they took your time in rehab into consideration.
- Do they know I can't read? - No Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot here.
I'll just interview you and fill it out.
- So address? - I don't really have one.
I'm staying with Barbara and her mom, you know.
That's why I have to get a job.
I need to carry my own weight and help pay for that apartment.
I wanna do the right thing.
I asked Barbara to marry me, you know? No.
I had no idea.
So when's the wedding? Soon, I hope.
She said she wouldn't marry me unless I have a job, so if this is for real This is for real.
Well, I don't know what to say, man.
Thanks.
I'm gonna do a good job too.
I'm gonna make my daughter proud.
I'm gonna be the best table cleaner-upper that child has ever laid eyes on.
You know why? Because before I got involved with Barbara, I never even had a shot at cleaning tables.
I never had a shot at anything before we met you.
I told Sam I wouldn't marry him unless he got a job, but the truth is, I don't wanna marry him no matter what he does.
I'm 16 and he's a 25-year-old guy with a record.
Well, I-- I think Eric did find him a job.
Believe me, it's not possible.
That's why I used the job thing as my condition.
But what about the baby? Yeah, it's a shame.
I mean, the baby deserves a father, and he is the father.
I just don't want him to be the husband.
I don't love him and I think I only said I did as an excuse to have some fun.
Hey, you know, if the reverend got Sam into a job, he can get him out of a job.
You don't have to marry him.
Right, Annie? Well, no.
No, you don't have to marry him, but he-- He still might wanna keep the job.
Babies like to have food and shelter.
They're funny that way.
I wonder how the reverend's gonna do with crazy Roger.
He's got a temper like nothing I've ever seen.
I hardly think asking Roger to hold your hand during the birth of his child is anything to get mad about.
That's not what's gonna make him mad.
What's going to make him mad? He doesn't know I'm having his child.
Or any child.
He doesn't know I'm pregnant.
Why haven't you told him? I can't.
He's too mad at me for going out with his brother.
And I thought I had problems.
Excuse me.
I'm Roger Phillips.
One of Cassandra's friends called me and said some reverend guy wanted to see me.
Eric Camden.
I'm the reverend guy down at the Glen Oak church.
My wife and I are in a class with Cassandra at the community centre.
And? Well, Cassandra was wondering, hoping really, that you'd be interested in joining us.
Look, pal, I'm not a religious guy, and I don't wanna learn anything about it.
I don't go to church and I don't wanna go to church.
I only came down here because a friend of mine said that they saw Cassandra and she looked sick or something, and I thought maybe you were the guy they sent to tell me she was dying.
Even though Cassandra's not one of my favourite people right now, I'd be somewhat upset if she croaked.
- "Somewhat"? - Well, I would be definitely upset, only she dated my brother and that I do not forgive.
You must be the father of Cassandra's baby.
Congratulations.
I thought you knew.
Well.
Where do you need a ride to now? Nowhere.
Thanks.
Hey, wait, I-- I'm sorry.
I'm just in a bad mood because of this project.
I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me because I have nothing to say about sex.
And I shouldn't have even brought the subject up with my baby sister, even though I know you and Mary talk about it all the time.
Not all the time.
Sometimes we talk about what we're going to have for dinner.
Hey, tell me the truth.
The whole sleepover's a cover.
Mary's really sneaking out with some guy, isn't she? No.
She's definitely going to the sleepover.
Did you wanna talk about something? Oh, yeah.
Do you know where Jordan and I can get a good burger tonight? Try the Dairy Shack.
Was that it? Well, I was thinking about your project.
Maybe you could do something on first-time experiences.
Where, when, why.
Stuff like that.
Hey, thanks.
That's not a bad idea.
In fact, it's a great idea.
I can't believe you came up with it.
Why? I'm not a kid.
I'm 15, I have a boyfriend and I'm not completely naive.
I know a thing or two about life.
But why are you getting all defensive? I said it was a great idea.
Thank you.
- What? - Nothing.
You're welcome.
So it's the Dairy Shack and then bowling with friends? - If that's okay.
- It sounds like fun.
Have a good time.
Don't forget curfew's 11.
Eleven's fine.
If you wanna come back and watch a little TV until midnight, that'd probably be okay.
Thanks, Mrs.
Camden.
Just to let you know, we are not going bowling.
Hey, could you guys drop me off? I thought Mom and her new teen friends were gonna drop you off.
But I told her I was sure Jordan wouldn't mind saving her the trouble.
I forgot.
If she took you, she'd see that you were lying.
And evidently so are we, so let's just get out of here, okay, Luce? - What are you guys lying about? - We're not going bowling.
- Why not? - I have no idea.
- What? - I don't tell her everything, you know.
Well, they told us in babysitting class that kids like board games, so I was gonna see if Ruthie was interested in any of this.
- Whatever she wants to do is fine.
- No, no, no.
You don't wanna just do whatever she wants to do.
Tonight, you're not her brother, you're not her friend, you're her surrogate parent.
Your job is to see that she's safe, that her basic needs are met.
And beyond that, that she has a little clean, safe fun.
She didn't already con you into the old "we have to do what I want," did she? Of course not.
I mean, give me a little credit.
I'm smarter than that.
Good.
Okay, here's the number of the pool hall.
We'll be only five minutes away if you get into any trouble at all.
Matt's upstairs, but he doesn't wanna be bothered unless it's an emergency.
Matt's gonna be home? Yes, but in his room, way up in the attic.
Ruthie doesn't even know he's around.
All right.
I suppose beggars can't be choosers.
I need all the experience I can get.
- I'm working here.
- Okay.
Okay, we'll be back in a couple hours.
Be good.
Stay out as late as you want.
You're not gonna give Simon a hard time, are you? Me? No way.
When have I ever given a babysitter any trouble? Sit down.
The first time that Matt babysat you, you bit him hard.
I was mad you left me at home.
I'm not like that now.
First time Mary babysat you, I came home to find her locked in the linen closet.
She wouldn't leave me alone.
She was driving me crazy with all those stupid board games.
How many times would you wanna play Chutes and Ladders? Last time Lucy was supposed to keep an eye on you, I believe you and Simon left the house, followed the mailman and got lost.
I promise, we won't leave the house.
Okay.
But, really, go easy on Simon.
He's a good brother.
So, you know, if you wanna go home, let some of the shock wear off before seeing Cassandra, that'd be fine.
You don't have to hang out here.
I'm not gonna go home until I have a word with her.
Until I have a lot of words with her.
Careful words.
More than likely, someday Cassandra will tell your son or daughter what you said when you found out you were having a baby, and those words will stay with your son or daughter for all of his or her life, so I just-- I wanna suggest to you-- Eric.
Hey.
I got a job, baby.
Congratulations.
How could you--? He knows.
- Welcome.
What can I get for you? - Yeah, We'll take two burgers with everything on them, fries and a couple Cokes.
- For here or to go? - For here.
- Make it to go.
- Go where? Can't we just park someplace and eat in the car? Park where? What about MacArthur's Point? Isn't that where everyone else goes? I don't think your parents would approve.
I know they wouldn't.
Shut up, Arnold.
He recently joined our church.
It's just not safe at MacArthur's Point.
It's not safe to park on a dark road anywhere.
- Make it for here.
- I live to serve.
Don't you find me attractive? - Of course I do.
- Well? Let's get a table and talk.
Can we talk about going somewhere we can be alone? This is not funny to me.
Hey, I'm older than you are, I'm bigger than you are and you can't pressure me into doing anything I don't wanna do.
I don't even know what I wanna do, but I'd like to feel like you're at least a little attracted to me.
Make them to go.
Shut up, Arnold.
- Stay on the rug.
- I can't.
Why not? Because then I can't go fast.
See? That's it.
Come on.
Take the skates off.
You said I could do anything I want and I wanna skate.
Not on the rug, on the floor, where I can feel the breeze in my face.
Well, wanna do something else, because this is only gonna get us in trouble.
I won't get in any trouble.
You're the babysitter.
Please? Pretty, pretty please? I'm begging you.
Okay.
Why don't we jump rope? Because you refuse to go out of the house.
We could do it in here.
You can tie one end of the rope to the stairs and you can hold the other end.
There's not enough room.
We might break something.
Move the table, then there will be plenty of room.
Okay.
Get the rope.
You're the best babysitter I ever had.
- A little help.
- I can't stop.
I'm really into this project and I don't wanna lose my train of thought.
No, I'm sure those trains don't come along too often.
Sorry, it won't work.
The table won't budge.
I guess we'll have to do something else.
Maybe I can read a book to you in your room.
Or we could play cops and robbers.
How do you play that? You don't have handcuffs, do you? No, silly.
But this rope might come in handy.
Well, I was thinking about your project.
Maybe you could do something on first-time experiences.
Where, when, why.
Stuff like that.
I'm an idiot.
But I love you.
If you loved me, you wouldn't have had sex with me when I was 15 years old.
I'm just 16 and I'm having a baby.
But I thought you wanted to.
And so what if I did? I mean, you're older and you're smarter.
And you should have been looking out for me, if you really loved me.
But I'm looking out for you now.
I got a job.
I'm gonna marry you.
You only wanna marry me because I'm having a baby.
If I weren't, you wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And neither would I.
It's just not fair.
We went out less than six months and now we're gonna spend our whole lives together.
- You wanna get married? - No, I don't wanna get married, but the two of us made this baby, and now, whether we like it or not, we have a connection to each other.
And that connection is this child.
A helpless little child who had no choice in the matter.
And we owe it to this baby to be friends and to help each other throughout this kid's life, whether we want to or not.
How could you go out with my brother, knowing that you were gonna have my child? I wanted to get back at you for doing this to me.
I wonder what this kid's gonna wanna do to both of us for not being the family that we should have been before we created it.
It's not an it.
He's a boy.
I don't wanna sound judgemental, but there really is nothing good to be said about teenage pregnancy.
They're just not old enough.
We are so lucky with Mary, Lucy and Matt.
Hi, Camden.
What can I do you for? Have you seen my sister Lucy with a tall blond guy? Yeah.
They were here about an hour ago.
I'm guessing they took their burgers up to MacArthur's Point.
Your sister's idea, from what I overheard.
- Luce, get in my car.
- Matt, we were-- I don't wanna talk to you yet! Luce.
We were just talking.
- Fine.
Now we're gonna talk.
- Could you wait to talk to your dad? - I'd like to talk to him first.
- That's not a good idea.
Do whatever you think is right, but if you don't get back in your car, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to stop myself from pounding you.
I'm going.
I'll talk to you later.
Who do you think you are, embarrassing me like that? I am not a child.
I'm practically a grown woman and you have no right to interfere in my life like that.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather embarrass you than find out you did something stupid.
Oh, yeah? If you wanna know if one of your sisters is doing something stupid, why don't you try busting in on Mary at her little boy-girl sleepover? Untie me.
Just untie me.
Come on.
I can't untie you until the cops get here.
I'm just a bank teller.
So pretend to be the cops now and untie me.
You don't want Mom and Dad to come home and find me like this, do you? I don't know.
You look pretty cute like that.
Let me see you from a different angle.
Yep.
You look cute from here too.
Don't panic.
I can't get my head out.
It's all your fault.
Hey.
Hey, listen to me, girl.
You gotta help me untie these ropes.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
You're the worst babysitter I ever had.
That's not what you said two hours ago.
Yeah, but that was before you made me wear the staircase.
Hi, Mommy.
She didn't wanna play the board games.
- But-- - Here.
Okay.
After this sentence, I am not speaking to you for the rest of your life.
Yes, you are.
And I'm gonna speak to the two of you.
Can we not speak to Mom and Dad and just keep it between the three of us? So that's when Matt pulled up and told her to get in the car with him.
Any idea where they are now? Think maybe they went to pick up Mary.
Why would they do that? I'm guessing Matt didn't know the basketball sleepover was co-ed.
And I'm an idiot because neither did you.
You're a very brave guy to come forward like this and I respect you for it.
I take it you wouldn't be talking to us unless you were telling the truth, but let me tell you some truths.
You're two years older than my daughter.
You're a senior and an athlete, so it's more likely you've already had some experience.
So here's the deal, and Annie may have more to add to it.
You're not to be alone anywhere with our daughter again outside of this house.
Group activities, school functions.
That's it.
And I want you to come over to the house more often.
I wanna get to know you better.
I wanna spend some time with you.
And I want you to feel free to bring your parents by to meet us.
It doesn't have to be anything formal.
Just drop by, you know, with one or the other.
Or both, if you like.
And I wanna keep talking like we've been doing tonight, because I gotta tell you, despite what I've heard about this date and despite the fact that you are older and more experienced, I think you're a responsible and honest guy who respects my daughter, and I like that.
I really do.
Well, I don't think you wanna be here when the three of them get home.
Thanks.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I've already talked to them.
Good night, Matt.
Right.
Mary, I'd like to talk to you in the kitchen.
Lucy, I'll talk to you after you've talked to your dad.
Oh, wait a minute.
Would anybody mind if I taped this for my project? But I am not going to have sex.
And if I were, I wouldn't have to go to one of these parties to do it.
Good point.
Okay, under what circumstances would you consider having sex? But Romeo and Juliet were only 14.
Did you read the entire play? Romeo and Juliet committed suicide.
I'm not saying you won't be with Jordan for the rest of your life.
I'm just saying you're 15 and you don't know yet.
How do you know? How does anyone know? And if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, why should you wait until you're married to have sex? We keep coming back to the question of why you'd lie about it if you think there's nothing wrong with what you were doing.
Because you think there was something wrong with what I was doing.
I don't.
Let me rephrase this.
If you're mature enough to make your own decisions, why aren't you mature enough to stand up for those decisions, instead of trying to sneak around? I don't know.
I'm not sure I even know what the options are.
But it's-- It's important to have a plan.
And of course, the plan I'd like you to have is to wait until you get married to have sex.
Okay.
But is there something in between that? You know, more than kissing, less than having sex? Where do you draw the line? - Why not? - No.
But why? Because kids shouldn't be taking care of kids.
I'm too young.
Mommy, where do babies come from? How come you didn't put in the answers? Because not everyone would answer the questions the same.
What are you gonna call it? "The talk.
" "The 19-year talk.
" You know, there are a few things I'd like to ask him.
Me too.
Please.
Standard operating procedure.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Bye.
- Tomorrow night, right? So since we're all chatting here, you won't mind my asking where exactly, and I mean, where exactly, the two of you will be seeing each other tomorrow night? Nowhere.
Down.
I better be getting home so I can call you.
I thought you were going to a party for the basketball team tomorrow.
I am.
And I thought Mary was going to a girls' basketball team sleepover.
Luce, Mom wants you.
I won't forget.
I got you on speed dial.
Mom's not home.
It was the quickest way I could get you upstairs.
Well, here I am.
The basketball sleepover tomorrow night, like the one last Friday night, is - Is? - Co-ed.
- Co-ed? - Co-ed.
Corey's parents let us stay in her basement.
We bring CDs, food, videos and we just hang out.
We do the exact same stuff that we do at an all-girls' sleepover, only the guys' varsity team is there too.
A co-ed sleepover? Yeah, a co-ed sleepover.
- You got a problem with that? - I don't have a problem.
I'm surprised Mom and Dad don't have a problem.
What do they say? Nothing.
They'll probably say something once I tell them, but I haven't told them.
When were you and Jordan going to tell me? I don't really know about Jordan, but I was thinking never.
Was Jordan there last weekend? No.
Not everyone comes every week.
But the invitation is always open for everyone on either team to come whenever they want.
You're not on the basketball team.
Fine.
So just tell me, no one's kissing or making out or doing anything, like having sex? With 20 other people around? No.
Yeah, right.
How dumb do you think I am? I'm not Mom and Dad, you know.
What? - Nothing.
- Nothing.
You're talking about sex.
- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.
Yes, you are.
I can see it in your faces.
Just because you can't find the topic for your human sexuality project doesn't mean everybody's talking about sex behind your back.
Mom told her and then she told me.
Well, if either of you have any suggestions, I'm listening.
Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but if either of you is thinking about having sex, forget about it.
That means you, Mary.
Hi.
You looking for the "My First Baby Class"? First? Oh, no.
Actually, this is my sixth.
Or-- Or rather, sixth and seventh.
I'm having twins.
I was looking for the alternative class.
I thought I'd try something different.
How about a condom? The alternative birth class is on Monday-Wednesday, and this is Thursday.
But you're welcome to join us.
You could be like our visiting Ph.
D.
It's okay if you don't have a partner.
Oh, no.
I have a partner.
Believe me.
Seven kids? Oh, yeah, I've got a partner.
The partner of all partners.
He's just out signing up for one of our other collaborations, Simon, for a babysitting class.
He's getting certified.
Oh, not so he can baby-sit these two.
It's for his girlfriend.
Well, I mean, his girlfriend's not a baby.
Neither is Simon.
Well, I mean, he'll always be my baby.
You know how that goes.
But he and his girlfriend are 12.
They're practically grown.
But not grown enough to have a baby.
They're just babysitting for the money.
But they love children.
Here he is.
My partner and husband.
Why do I suddenly feel old? Okay, you two, in or out? In.
So it's just yada, yada, yada until the sun comes up? - No.
Eventually most of us fall asleep.
- Where? Wherever you can find a place to throw your sleeping bag.
No one ever throws their sleeping bag on top of someone else's? No, and that's it.
Give it a rest.
Okay, okay.
But if you were to do something with a guy, when would that be? Not in high school.
I'm definitely not gonna have sex in high school.
So when? In college? I don't know.
I'll make a college plan when I get to college.
But I am in high school, so this is my high school plan.
Why isn't your plan to wait until you're married? It'll probably end up being that, but as plans go, that doesn't work for me.
- Because? - Because right now it is impossible for me to think of myself as ever getting married.
And if I think like that, then I might start thinking that it's too long to wait or that it'll never happen, so I might as well just chuck the whole plan.
Instead, I'm going with a short-term plan.
Short-term plans are much more realistic.
For example, if you don't drop this subject, my plan is to scream for help.
Really? Because if help comes, then you're gonna have to tell them what we're talking about.
- Hello? - Lucy.
Hi.
Did you just get home? I never call you when I just get home, because then I would feel like a wuss.
- I like to walk around a minute first.
- Whatever.
So did anything happen on your walk? Yeah.
I decided I'm not going to the sleepover tomorrow night.
I figured we could do something instead.
You could have told me it was a sleepover instead of just a party.
It's not like I'm gonna go Fatal Attraction on you.
I'm not insanely jealous or insecure or anything.
- I have a life.
- I know you have a life.
You had one before me and you'll have one after me.
After you? What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
I know I didn't get my date request in before your deadline.
I just thought I'd take a shot.
If you already have plans, I'll just go and not stay over.
I don't think so.
I-- I mean, as it happens, I don't have any plans, and even though it's last minute, I'm available.
Great.
Then we'll talk about it tomorrow at school.
Oh, just a minute.
Why did you decide to pass on the sleepover? And did you decide to pass on tomorrow night's sleepover or all the sleepovers from now on? All sleepovers.
My mom's not thrilled with the idea of teenagers of the opposite sex left together in a basement unchaperoned to sleep.
I think it's ridiculous.
No one's gonna do anything in a crowd and if someone wants to have sex, they're gonna find a way.
They don't have to go to a party to do it.
- So have you found a way? - What? I'm only gonna ask this once, so pay attention and I want the truth.
Okay.
Have you ever had sex? Yes, and that's as much as I want to say about it.
I had my doll fed, burped and in a fresh diaper before the rest of the class knew which end to powder.
I know how to take a temperature, tell if a cut needs stitches and make someone throw up.
- You can make someone throw up? - It's a gift.
I cannot believe I have to go back three more Thursdays to get certified.
You'd think an hour's worth of training would cover everything - anybody needs to know about kids.
- Yeah, you'd think.
At any rate, it'll be great to have your help when the twins arrive.
No offence, but I doubt you can afford me.
Are we paying for this certification or is he? I invited Barbara and Cassandra over tomorrow.
I'm gonna show them how to cook a vegetarian meal that they can also strain into fresh baby food.
Oh, great.
I'll look forward to dining with them.
What else will I be looking forward to doing? Well, I was wondering if you could talk Cassandra's boyfriend into coming to class with her.
He doesn't have to marry her.
She wants him there for the birth.
She doesn't have any family.
I'll give it my best shot.
What else will I be doing besides enjoying a wonderful vegetarian dining experience with family and friends? Well, while you were at the drinking fountain, I kind of told Barbara's boyfriend, you know, the sweet guy with the funny hat, Sam, that you would help him find some work maybe.
High school diploma? G.
E.
D.
? One useful skill? - Does he have a record? - Yeah, possession of something.
A stolen something? A kidnapped something? A drug something? Eric, I just met these people.
I didn't wanna butt into every aspect of their lives.
No, of course not.
- That's your job.
- That's my job.
Oh, and we're not gonna be enjoying that lovely vegetarian meal here.
We're gonna grab dinner at the pool hall, the girls and I.
Because I'll already be at the pool hall with the guys.
Well, they're teenagers.
They don't wanna hang out at the house.
All right.
Whatever.
So how was your class? - Well, I don't wanna brag.
- Since when? What can I do for you? Would you mind babysitting Amy and Zin-Zin? I need a little time to myself.
Amy is lactose intolerant and Zin-Zin is allergic to strawberries, so be very careful with bedtime snacks.
I'm a professional.
I don't work for free.
One lousy class and you're already putting the screws to me? Two bucks, per hour, per kid.
Got change for a 20? This money isn't real.
Neither are they.
Good night and get out.
How about a cheque? Will you take a cheque? Go.
Am I the only one in class without this stupid human sexuality project? I think so.
I'm halfway done with mine.
What did you do? I interviewed your parents.
Kidding.
No.
I had a bunch of guys look right into the camera and give me the best lines they use to get women to have sex with them.
Then this weekend, I'm gonna cut in women responding to those lines.
You know, some sensitive, some funny, others just plain rude.
My sister's gonna do a monologue where she says that men don't talk women into anything because women have minds of their own.
Sounds great.
Thanks.
Good luck, pal.
But just tell me when.
Or better, tell me who.
Wait.
Was there more than one who? Oh, yeah.
There was an entire Who-ville.
Would you stop? You're making me sorry I ever told you the truth.
We're done with this subject.
You better give it a rest or he's gonna end up breaking up with you.
I'm surprised he ever went out with me in the first place.
Every time he kisses me, all he probably thinks about is how I'm doing it wrong.
He's obviously a much more experienced guy than I realised.
- So? - So I can't help but wonder why he even goes out with me and why he hasn't tried anything with me.
Maybe because he really cares for you and he respects you.
Maybe he just finds me safe and unattractive.
How is the weather in the land of the big-time stupid? Maybe I should see if he's really attracted to me or not.
- What? - You heard me.
Yeah, I heard you, but are we talking about what I think we're talking about? - Forget it! - Why? You just started dating.
You're still a baby.
You can't have sex.
So, what's on your agenda tonight? Well, I was hoping to try out my babysitting expertise, but I can't seem to find anyone to baby-sit.
Deena's been trying to help me out, but no one will hire anyone without experience and you can't get experience unless someone hires you.
It's a fishy circle.
I think you mean "vicious.
" It's a vicious circle.
And it should stay that way.
Don't look at me.
I mean it.
Don't look at me.
It's just that Mary's going to a sleepover, Lucy has a date with Jordan, Matt is busy researching his project, and your dad and I would like to go out.
I'd like to go out too.
Mommy, don't make me do it.
Don't make me give Simon babysitting lessons.
Please.
Don't worry.
If you don't wanna stay home with Simon, you don't have to.
Thanks.
I don't want to.
Make her wanna stay home with you.
How am I supposed to do that? Make her evening fun.
Fun.
Okay.
Yeah, everyone says I'm a fun guy.
I-- I can do fun.
Yeah.
Can I come in? Please do.
You can't make babysitting me sound fun.
I'm not stupid.
I've been through this with Matt, Mary and Lucy.
Yeah, but did Matt, Mary or Lucy make your bed into a limo and get Hoowie to drive you and your dolls to the moon? All three of them.
What else you got Mr.
Fun? What? You can't just shuffle me off to Hoowie-ville and call it babysitting.
Okay, let's just cut the kids' stuff.
I'll split everything I get for babysitting you 50-50.
You think Mom and Dad are gonna pay you? The only way I'll let you baby-sit me is if you let me do everything I want, when I want.
No fire, sharp objects or playing in the car.
Done.
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
You wanna grab a pizza with us? I'd love to, but I'm behind on my project.
- I'll have to pass this time.
- I understand.
I wouldn't be going out if I hadn't handed mine in already.
You're kidding.
What'd you do? I interviewed female athletes as a part of a study on why women in sports are less likely to become pregnant.
You can't get pregnant if you're playing basketball.
Well, that's good to hear.
My younger sister plays basketball.
What about you? Oh, I talked to couples who have been married for 50 years or more, and they still have great sex.
That's good too.
I have nothing.
I'm blocked.
You can't think of a single subject about sex? - That's hard to believe.
- Why? I don't know.
You look like you think about it all the time.
- See you Monday.
- Have a good weekend.
I don't feel like hanging out with a group tonight.
Is there someplace we can go to be alone? - Your living room? - No.
Someplace where we won't be interrupted.
Maybe we can just go for a drive? I don't know what's going on here, but you know that your parents prefer that we hang with a group.
I can't even imagine asking your dad if it would be okay if we took a little moonlight drive to nowhere.
So don't ask.
What? Why are you whispering? Just pick me up at 8, okay? So, what did you and Jordan decide to do tonight? That would be my personal business.
Hi.
Barbara and Cassandra, these are two of my babies, Lucy and Mary.
Mary's 16 and I'm 15.
- I'm 16 too.
- Yeah, me too.
I'm giving a little cooking lesson.
Wanna join us? That's okay.
I'm gonna eat at the sleepover.
And I'm going out with Jordan, we'll probably grab a burger or something.
Oh, be careful.
Seven months ago, I went out for a burger and look where I ended up.
I went out for sushi.
Are you meeting friends? - We usually do.
- Yes, you usually do.
So where are you and Jordan and your friends meeting? I don't know.
Well, call Jordan and find out for me, okay? Look, I know where your sister's going to be.
I need to know where you are going to be.
I didn't realise this was going to be such a challenging question.
All right.
All right.
That was me, all right.
Don't ask, don't tell.
- It was really nice meeting you guys.
- Yeah.
This one's still dancing.
- Isn't that neat? - Yeah.
If I could just keep him in there until I grow up and finish school and get a job.
It won't be easy, but if you make up your mind that that's what you wanna do, you can do it.
I'll help you do it.
What I really want is to back up seven months and say: "I don't have anything to prove to you, so back off.
" I've gotta fill out all this information just to bus tables? It's just a formality.
They're gonna give you a shot at the job.
You sure? Because I don't wanna do this if I'm not getting the job.
They know your background.
They don't know everything.
They know you served time for possession of crack cocaine, but they took your time in rehab into consideration.
- Do they know I can't read? - No Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot here.
I'll just interview you and fill it out.
- So address? - I don't really have one.
I'm staying with Barbara and her mom, you know.
That's why I have to get a job.
I need to carry my own weight and help pay for that apartment.
I wanna do the right thing.
I asked Barbara to marry me, you know? No.
I had no idea.
So when's the wedding? Soon, I hope.
She said she wouldn't marry me unless I have a job, so if this is for real This is for real.
Well, I don't know what to say, man.
Thanks.
I'm gonna do a good job too.
I'm gonna make my daughter proud.
I'm gonna be the best table cleaner-upper that child has ever laid eyes on.
You know why? Because before I got involved with Barbara, I never even had a shot at cleaning tables.
I never had a shot at anything before we met you.
I told Sam I wouldn't marry him unless he got a job, but the truth is, I don't wanna marry him no matter what he does.
I'm 16 and he's a 25-year-old guy with a record.
Well, I-- I think Eric did find him a job.
Believe me, it's not possible.
That's why I used the job thing as my condition.
But what about the baby? Yeah, it's a shame.
I mean, the baby deserves a father, and he is the father.
I just don't want him to be the husband.
I don't love him and I think I only said I did as an excuse to have some fun.
Hey, you know, if the reverend got Sam into a job, he can get him out of a job.
You don't have to marry him.
Right, Annie? Well, no.
No, you don't have to marry him, but he-- He still might wanna keep the job.
Babies like to have food and shelter.
They're funny that way.
I wonder how the reverend's gonna do with crazy Roger.
He's got a temper like nothing I've ever seen.
I hardly think asking Roger to hold your hand during the birth of his child is anything to get mad about.
That's not what's gonna make him mad.
What's going to make him mad? He doesn't know I'm having his child.
Or any child.
He doesn't know I'm pregnant.
Why haven't you told him? I can't.
He's too mad at me for going out with his brother.
And I thought I had problems.
Excuse me.
I'm Roger Phillips.
One of Cassandra's friends called me and said some reverend guy wanted to see me.
Eric Camden.
I'm the reverend guy down at the Glen Oak church.
My wife and I are in a class with Cassandra at the community centre.
And? Well, Cassandra was wondering, hoping really, that you'd be interested in joining us.
Look, pal, I'm not a religious guy, and I don't wanna learn anything about it.
I don't go to church and I don't wanna go to church.
I only came down here because a friend of mine said that they saw Cassandra and she looked sick or something, and I thought maybe you were the guy they sent to tell me she was dying.
Even though Cassandra's not one of my favourite people right now, I'd be somewhat upset if she croaked.
- "Somewhat"? - Well, I would be definitely upset, only she dated my brother and that I do not forgive.
You must be the father of Cassandra's baby.
Congratulations.
I thought you knew.
Well.
Where do you need a ride to now? Nowhere.
Thanks.
Hey, wait, I-- I'm sorry.
I'm just in a bad mood because of this project.
I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me because I have nothing to say about sex.
And I shouldn't have even brought the subject up with my baby sister, even though I know you and Mary talk about it all the time.
Not all the time.
Sometimes we talk about what we're going to have for dinner.
Hey, tell me the truth.
The whole sleepover's a cover.
Mary's really sneaking out with some guy, isn't she? No.
She's definitely going to the sleepover.
Did you wanna talk about something? Oh, yeah.
Do you know where Jordan and I can get a good burger tonight? Try the Dairy Shack.
Was that it? Well, I was thinking about your project.
Maybe you could do something on first-time experiences.
Where, when, why.
Stuff like that.
Hey, thanks.
That's not a bad idea.
In fact, it's a great idea.
I can't believe you came up with it.
Why? I'm not a kid.
I'm 15, I have a boyfriend and I'm not completely naive.
I know a thing or two about life.
But why are you getting all defensive? I said it was a great idea.
Thank you.
- What? - Nothing.
You're welcome.
So it's the Dairy Shack and then bowling with friends? - If that's okay.
- It sounds like fun.
Have a good time.
Don't forget curfew's 11.
Eleven's fine.
If you wanna come back and watch a little TV until midnight, that'd probably be okay.
Thanks, Mrs.
Camden.
Just to let you know, we are not going bowling.
Hey, could you guys drop me off? I thought Mom and her new teen friends were gonna drop you off.
But I told her I was sure Jordan wouldn't mind saving her the trouble.
I forgot.
If she took you, she'd see that you were lying.
And evidently so are we, so let's just get out of here, okay, Luce? - What are you guys lying about? - We're not going bowling.
- Why not? - I have no idea.
- What? - I don't tell her everything, you know.
Well, they told us in babysitting class that kids like board games, so I was gonna see if Ruthie was interested in any of this.
- Whatever she wants to do is fine.
- No, no, no.
You don't wanna just do whatever she wants to do.
Tonight, you're not her brother, you're not her friend, you're her surrogate parent.
Your job is to see that she's safe, that her basic needs are met.
And beyond that, that she has a little clean, safe fun.
She didn't already con you into the old "we have to do what I want," did she? Of course not.
I mean, give me a little credit.
I'm smarter than that.
Good.
Okay, here's the number of the pool hall.
We'll be only five minutes away if you get into any trouble at all.
Matt's upstairs, but he doesn't wanna be bothered unless it's an emergency.
Matt's gonna be home? Yes, but in his room, way up in the attic.
Ruthie doesn't even know he's around.
All right.
I suppose beggars can't be choosers.
I need all the experience I can get.
- I'm working here.
- Okay.
Okay, we'll be back in a couple hours.
Be good.
Stay out as late as you want.
You're not gonna give Simon a hard time, are you? Me? No way.
When have I ever given a babysitter any trouble? Sit down.
The first time that Matt babysat you, you bit him hard.
I was mad you left me at home.
I'm not like that now.
First time Mary babysat you, I came home to find her locked in the linen closet.
She wouldn't leave me alone.
She was driving me crazy with all those stupid board games.
How many times would you wanna play Chutes and Ladders? Last time Lucy was supposed to keep an eye on you, I believe you and Simon left the house, followed the mailman and got lost.
I promise, we won't leave the house.
Okay.
But, really, go easy on Simon.
He's a good brother.
So, you know, if you wanna go home, let some of the shock wear off before seeing Cassandra, that'd be fine.
You don't have to hang out here.
I'm not gonna go home until I have a word with her.
Until I have a lot of words with her.
Careful words.
More than likely, someday Cassandra will tell your son or daughter what you said when you found out you were having a baby, and those words will stay with your son or daughter for all of his or her life, so I just-- I wanna suggest to you-- Eric.
Hey.
I got a job, baby.
Congratulations.
How could you--? He knows.
- Welcome.
What can I get for you? - Yeah, We'll take two burgers with everything on them, fries and a couple Cokes.
- For here or to go? - For here.
- Make it to go.
- Go where? Can't we just park someplace and eat in the car? Park where? What about MacArthur's Point? Isn't that where everyone else goes? I don't think your parents would approve.
I know they wouldn't.
Shut up, Arnold.
He recently joined our church.
It's just not safe at MacArthur's Point.
It's not safe to park on a dark road anywhere.
- Make it for here.
- I live to serve.
Don't you find me attractive? - Of course I do.
- Well? Let's get a table and talk.
Can we talk about going somewhere we can be alone? This is not funny to me.
Hey, I'm older than you are, I'm bigger than you are and you can't pressure me into doing anything I don't wanna do.
I don't even know what I wanna do, but I'd like to feel like you're at least a little attracted to me.
Make them to go.
Shut up, Arnold.
- Stay on the rug.
- I can't.
Why not? Because then I can't go fast.
See? That's it.
Come on.
Take the skates off.
You said I could do anything I want and I wanna skate.
Not on the rug, on the floor, where I can feel the breeze in my face.
Well, wanna do something else, because this is only gonna get us in trouble.
I won't get in any trouble.
You're the babysitter.
Please? Pretty, pretty please? I'm begging you.
Okay.
Why don't we jump rope? Because you refuse to go out of the house.
We could do it in here.
You can tie one end of the rope to the stairs and you can hold the other end.
There's not enough room.
We might break something.
Move the table, then there will be plenty of room.
Okay.
Get the rope.
You're the best babysitter I ever had.
- A little help.
- I can't stop.
I'm really into this project and I don't wanna lose my train of thought.
No, I'm sure those trains don't come along too often.
Sorry, it won't work.
The table won't budge.
I guess we'll have to do something else.
Maybe I can read a book to you in your room.
Or we could play cops and robbers.
How do you play that? You don't have handcuffs, do you? No, silly.
But this rope might come in handy.
Well, I was thinking about your project.
Maybe you could do something on first-time experiences.
Where, when, why.
Stuff like that.
I'm an idiot.
But I love you.
If you loved me, you wouldn't have had sex with me when I was 15 years old.
I'm just 16 and I'm having a baby.
But I thought you wanted to.
And so what if I did? I mean, you're older and you're smarter.
And you should have been looking out for me, if you really loved me.
But I'm looking out for you now.
I got a job.
I'm gonna marry you.
You only wanna marry me because I'm having a baby.
If I weren't, you wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And neither would I.
It's just not fair.
We went out less than six months and now we're gonna spend our whole lives together.
- You wanna get married? - No, I don't wanna get married, but the two of us made this baby, and now, whether we like it or not, we have a connection to each other.
And that connection is this child.
A helpless little child who had no choice in the matter.
And we owe it to this baby to be friends and to help each other throughout this kid's life, whether we want to or not.
How could you go out with my brother, knowing that you were gonna have my child? I wanted to get back at you for doing this to me.
I wonder what this kid's gonna wanna do to both of us for not being the family that we should have been before we created it.
It's not an it.
He's a boy.
I don't wanna sound judgemental, but there really is nothing good to be said about teenage pregnancy.
They're just not old enough.
We are so lucky with Mary, Lucy and Matt.
Hi, Camden.
What can I do you for? Have you seen my sister Lucy with a tall blond guy? Yeah.
They were here about an hour ago.
I'm guessing they took their burgers up to MacArthur's Point.
Your sister's idea, from what I overheard.
- Luce, get in my car.
- Matt, we were-- I don't wanna talk to you yet! Luce.
We were just talking.
- Fine.
Now we're gonna talk.
- Could you wait to talk to your dad? - I'd like to talk to him first.
- That's not a good idea.
Do whatever you think is right, but if you don't get back in your car, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to stop myself from pounding you.
I'm going.
I'll talk to you later.
Who do you think you are, embarrassing me like that? I am not a child.
I'm practically a grown woman and you have no right to interfere in my life like that.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather embarrass you than find out you did something stupid.
Oh, yeah? If you wanna know if one of your sisters is doing something stupid, why don't you try busting in on Mary at her little boy-girl sleepover? Untie me.
Just untie me.
Come on.
I can't untie you until the cops get here.
I'm just a bank teller.
So pretend to be the cops now and untie me.
You don't want Mom and Dad to come home and find me like this, do you? I don't know.
You look pretty cute like that.
Let me see you from a different angle.
Yep.
You look cute from here too.
Don't panic.
I can't get my head out.
It's all your fault.
Hey.
Hey, listen to me, girl.
You gotta help me untie these ropes.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
You're the worst babysitter I ever had.
That's not what you said two hours ago.
Yeah, but that was before you made me wear the staircase.
Hi, Mommy.
She didn't wanna play the board games.
- But-- - Here.
Okay.
After this sentence, I am not speaking to you for the rest of your life.
Yes, you are.
And I'm gonna speak to the two of you.
Can we not speak to Mom and Dad and just keep it between the three of us? So that's when Matt pulled up and told her to get in the car with him.
Any idea where they are now? Think maybe they went to pick up Mary.
Why would they do that? I'm guessing Matt didn't know the basketball sleepover was co-ed.
And I'm an idiot because neither did you.
You're a very brave guy to come forward like this and I respect you for it.
I take it you wouldn't be talking to us unless you were telling the truth, but let me tell you some truths.
You're two years older than my daughter.
You're a senior and an athlete, so it's more likely you've already had some experience.
So here's the deal, and Annie may have more to add to it.
You're not to be alone anywhere with our daughter again outside of this house.
Group activities, school functions.
That's it.
And I want you to come over to the house more often.
I wanna get to know you better.
I wanna spend some time with you.
And I want you to feel free to bring your parents by to meet us.
It doesn't have to be anything formal.
Just drop by, you know, with one or the other.
Or both, if you like.
And I wanna keep talking like we've been doing tonight, because I gotta tell you, despite what I've heard about this date and despite the fact that you are older and more experienced, I think you're a responsible and honest guy who respects my daughter, and I like that.
I really do.
Well, I don't think you wanna be here when the three of them get home.
Thanks.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I've already talked to them.
Good night, Matt.
Right.
Mary, I'd like to talk to you in the kitchen.
Lucy, I'll talk to you after you've talked to your dad.
Oh, wait a minute.
Would anybody mind if I taped this for my project? But I am not going to have sex.
And if I were, I wouldn't have to go to one of these parties to do it.
Good point.
Okay, under what circumstances would you consider having sex? But Romeo and Juliet were only 14.
Did you read the entire play? Romeo and Juliet committed suicide.
I'm not saying you won't be with Jordan for the rest of your life.
I'm just saying you're 15 and you don't know yet.
How do you know? How does anyone know? And if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, why should you wait until you're married to have sex? We keep coming back to the question of why you'd lie about it if you think there's nothing wrong with what you were doing.
Because you think there was something wrong with what I was doing.
I don't.
Let me rephrase this.
If you're mature enough to make your own decisions, why aren't you mature enough to stand up for those decisions, instead of trying to sneak around? I don't know.
I'm not sure I even know what the options are.
But it's-- It's important to have a plan.
And of course, the plan I'd like you to have is to wait until you get married to have sex.
Okay.
But is there something in between that? You know, more than kissing, less than having sex? Where do you draw the line? - Why not? - No.
But why? Because kids shouldn't be taking care of kids.
I'm too young.
Mommy, where do babies come from? How come you didn't put in the answers? Because not everyone would answer the questions the same.
What are you gonna call it? "The talk.
" "The 19-year talk.
" You know, there are a few things I'd like to ask him.
Me too.