7th Heaven s05e04 Episode Script
Busted
Where's Mom? I am perfectly capable of feeding my own sons.
I do it all the time.
I've fed my children for over 21 years now.
And, true, for many of them, your mom cooked most of the meals while I was out earning the money to pay for those meals, but from time to time, I have fed one of my offspring, or even all of my offspring, just as I am doing now without the aid of Mom.
I'm just looking for Mom because she asked me to pick up some soap for her.
Oh, she's upstairs.
Hey, what are you up to tonight? I haven't found another job yet, if that's what you're asking.
No.
I just thought, if you're going to be around tonight, and the other kids are going to be around tonight, and Matt has the night off, I thought maybe we might all hang out and watch a movie together.
Because we haven't all just sat around together and watched a movie, like, since Matt moved out.
I sort of made plans.
You met a guy at Unemployment? Very funny.
I haven't worked anywhere long enough to get unemployment.
You never really said exactly.
What happened at Pete's? He said that they weren't doing as well as he thought, and he just had to cut back.
Oh, I'm going to Frankie's and Johnny's house for dinner.
College brochures? Oh, so now you're getting on my case about not going to school, too? I'm not going.
I'll find a job.
These aren't for you.
They're for me.
I'm applying for early acceptance and these are the colleges my counselor said I could possibly get into.
So no one's on your case.
I didn't have anything else to do tonight, so I thought I'd do a little reading, and ask Mom and Dad for advice over the weekend.
You're applying for early acceptance? She's just doing it to make me look bad.
No one's trying to make you look bad This isn't about you.
Oh, right, that's why you put that stuff down right in front of my face.
Hello.
Hey, Frankie.
Are you doing this to motivate Mary? No.
I'm really not.
Well, it's okay.
It might work anyway.
Nice to know you care about me.
Hey, I do care, and I'm thrilled you're going to college.
My sister Lucy is applying to college.
I always wanted to go to college.
Not my fault.
I thought about it, but I didn't do anything about it.
It would be nice to get a college degree so you could finally have some choices of what you want to do with your life.
You haven't been talking to my parents, have you? No.
Hey, what if you and I decided to both sign up for college next semester? Be sure to apply for that scholarship.
Are you serious? Sure, I'm serious.
I don't know what I want to do either, but I know I don't want to wait tables the rest of my life.
If Lucy has anything on local schools, bring it over.
We'll talk while we make dinner.
Yeah, okay.
It wouldn't hurt to talk.
Oh, and could you bring three steaks? I've got everything else.
Sure.
No problem.
Hey, how did you guys get off tonight, anyway? We just couldn't take another Friday night, so we told Pete that Mercy is sick and we had to stay home with her.
Well, come on over.
We're just hanging.
Okay.
Well, I'll stop by the store, and I'll be there.
Don't sound so down.
She's fine.
I can't wait for you to meet her.
7th Heaven When I see their happy faces Smiling back at me 7th Heaven I know there's no greater feeling Than the love of family Where can you go When the world don't treat you right? The answer is home That's the one place that you'll find 7th Heaven Mmm, 7th Heaven 7th Heaven.
Ruthie, what's going on? Why was that chair in front of the door? I slid it over there.
Why did you slide it over there? Didn't want anyone to come in.
And why didn't you want anyone to come in? No reason.
Yes! I've got a date.
Well, that depends on who the lucky girl is that you asked out at the last minute.
Marcia Chalker.
Oh! I like Marcia Chalker.
She's a very nice young woman.
She's very smart, too.
She was a finalist in the National Spelling Bee a couple of years ago.
She was on television, remember? No.
I don't remember.
Oh.
Where are you taking her? I don't know.
But not to a spelling bee.
Probably a movie.
Okay.
Well, you'd better make sure that Matt knows you've got a date so he doesn't make other plans.
I already talked to him.
If I didn't get a date, the two of us were just going to go hang out together and pick up chicks.
He's coming over in an hour anyway.
No, you weren't going to go hang out and pick up chicks.
We're not going to now.
One of us doesn't need to.
You can't just go hang out with your brother who's in college and pick up chicks.
Why not? Because your mother won't let you.
It's not a thing a guy asks permission from his mother for It's just a thing guys do.
There are so many things wrong with this conversation, I don't know where to start, but I choose chicks.
I don't like your calling young women chicks or babes or anything else that depersonalizes them as human beings.
It makes them sound like property to be acquired.
And, secondly, you know, you're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells you.
And, thirdly, you just started dating, and dating's not a right, it's a privilege.
The difference between a right and a privilege is a privilege can be taken away.
Exactly.
So just go call Matt and tell him what your plans are.
Yes, ma'am.
Thanks once again for taking the tension off me.
What? So, you found someone desperate enough to go out with you at the last minute, huh? She's not desperate.
Oh, I see.
So you're desperate.
There's nothing wrong with me, and there's nothing wrong with Marcia.
She was a finalist in the National Spelling Bee! G-O-O-D L-U-C-K.
Look, I'm going to go call Matt, and then I'm going to get ready for what may be the best time I've ever had in my life.
So stop trying to ruin it for me.
Ruthie? Hey, what's going on? Nothing.
I was just wondering what movie you'd like to watch tonight.
Youngest gets to pick except, of course, Sam and David are too young to pick, so go for it.
You know there's never going to be another family movie night again, don't you? I mean, out of the five of us who speak English, you've got four daters.
Face it.
It's over.
It's not over.
Pick.
All right.
Got anything PG-13? You're not 13.
I know.
But with parental guidance, any movie is okay.
As long as parents explain the sex and violence and bad words, what's the harm? I'll pick.
Whatever.
I've got a project for school.
I'm out.
Were you talking to Ruthie? Yeah.
I was going to let her pick a movie for family night, but she doesn't seem interested.
Why isn't she interested? Something to do with a project.
She loves that new school.
What schoolwork could possibly be more enticing than watching a movie? I asked it's just as well.
Simon talked Marcia Chalker into going out with him, so he and Matt won't be here either.
If Matt and Simon aren't doing family movie night, I'm not doing family movie night.
Well, fine.
Your father and I will watch a movie together with no one around.
Just the two of us? Yeah.
A little popcorn.
A little wine.
A little you.
A little nauseous.
You mind if I have a friend over? You mean your infamous "husband" from biology? The father of your egg child? That's over.
This guy's name is Mike.
I met him in the counselor's office.
He's applying for early admission, too.
He's done a lot of research, so he said he'd help me out.
Financially? Well, you two can have the kitchen, but we have dibs on the living room.
Fine.
It's not like it's a date.
Does that mean there will be no making out? This is just a guy.
This is just Mike.
There will be no making out.
How many hours do you give her before she and Just Mike are making over the college brochures? The important thing is, however long it takes for them to lock lips, it will be over college brochures.
Lucy's going to college.
This will get the Camden dominoes back in order.
Matt, Mary, Lucy, Simon, Ruthie, Sam, David.
Eventually, one of them will make enough money to take care of us in our old age.
You're not going to grow old, and neither am I.
We're going to stay young forever.
Yeah.
And I think I know how.
See you at the movies.
Could you shut her up?! I'm trying to clean this dump before Mary gets here! You think you could shut her up?! Smart girl.
She knows when to shut up all on her own.
Hey, look who's here! Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
I'd like to, but Sorry.
Come on in.
Okay, this is her house right here.
Aren't we a little early for a date? It's still light out.
Marcia has an early curfew.
Wait.
Hold it, Romeo.
Are you sure you know what you're doing here? What's to know? It's a date.
It's a movie.
It's pizza.
It's a good night kiss.
It's never just a movie, a pizza and a good night kiss.
Fill me in later, all right? I'm busy here.
Wow.
Wow.
W-O-W.
Wow.
Uh Sorry my dad was so weird.
I can't ever remember getting such a warm reception.
Is he always like that? He's never like that.
So he sincerely likes me? He sincerely likes the fact that you're encouraging me to work toward an early acceptance to college.
Unfortunately, I don't know how much work we're gonna get done because, despite the fact that I brought home a brochure on every college within a thousand-mile radius, I can't seem to find even one of them.
They've disappeared.
That's okay.
I didn't really want to talk about college tonight anyway.
What? There are a lot of ways the two of us could help each other besides filling out college applications.
Excuse me? Sam and David are snug in their beds.
Ah Guess what I found to rent? The Graduate.
Maybe family movie night is a tradition whose time has passed.
Could be.
Are those? Yeah, that's right.
Chocolate-dipped strawberries.
I picked them up at the bakery next to the video store.
And I can have those? Those are okay for me? Oh, they're fine.
Mm Where's the make-out queen and her new student guidance counselor? In the kitchen.
Oh, and the little one? What's her name? Ruthie? She insists on staying in her room to finish whatever that secret project is.
I have no life.
On the other hand, everyone else in the house does.
So, you'll help me fill out the applications in a way that maximizes the possibility of acceptance and in return I have a guaranteed date to every major event of our senior year.
Gee, I-I don't know.
But we've never even been out before.
What if we don't like going out? It almost doesn't matter.
If we don't like it at first, we'll get to like it.
It's like an arranged marriage, only we're the ones arranging it.
Here's what I can offer you.
Outside of a well- executed application to every school of your choice, I'm entirely capable of showing you every consideration at each event we attend.
I can dance.
I'm an excellent conversationalist, and I have impeccable manners, as well as a car and a small amount of spending money.
I have virtually no friends, so there's no possibility you won't like who I hang out with, and unlike your last boyfriend, I never have to listen to what my father says because I don't have one.
I really just wanted some help applying to school.
I wasn't looking to complicate my life.
Well, sweetheart, life is complicated.
One night she can't get a guy to kiss her.
Next.
I just think medicine is the ultimate field to study.
It's so challenging, especially when you get into the upper-level courses where the information changes from week to week with all the rapid advances in research.
I'd go for genetics.
What area are you concentrating on? Well, right now I'm just concentrating on passing.
Third year.
Organic chemistry, right? Esterification.
E-S-T-E-R-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.
Esterification.
Of course, that's an easy one.
We'd better get going.
The movie's gonna start.
And we missed the first one 'cause you two were gabbing.
Oh, yeah.
The movie.
So, we'll see you later? I'll be here.
Knock it off, will ya? Fire's ready.
So, if the fire's ready Do I have to do everything? Well, I did everything else.
Fine.
I'll cook the steaks.
Don't ever get married.
Marriage takes a lot of work.
You have no idea.
Oh, I brought Lucy's college brochures if you want to take a look at them while we're waiting on steaks.
Uh, nah.
Maybe after we've eaten.
I can't concentrate now I'm too hungry.
You want a beer? Oh, I better not.
I got stopped by a cop driving home last Friday.
I'll just have a soda.
You think that cop is stalking you or something? Have a beer.
Maybe later.
I'm just gonna go upstairs and check on Sam and David.
Okay.
I'm going up to check on Sam and David.
Oh.
You're gonna check on Sam and David? That's right.
What are you doing? We're just watching a movie.
Your Mom just went upstairs to check on the guys.
How's it going? It's going fine.
Did you want to join us? No thanks I'm just going to grab a snack and go back to my room.
You still don't want to tell us what you're doing? I was just checking on the boys.
Oh, just checking on the boys.
I was just grabbing a pen and some paper.
Hmm.
Did you pick out a college yet? Not exactly.
Mm.
Well.
I'm just gonna check on your mother.
Whatever.
May I get a pen from your office? You take all the pens you need to fill out all the applications you want.
Just keep in mind there are application fees.
I'm just gonna check on Annie.
What if you wait all that time to kiss her and then it's no good? It'll be good.
Aren't you too young to be talking about this? I'm older than I look.
How old are you? How old are you? I asked you first.
Doesn't matter.
I don't have to tell you.
Ten? Nine.
17? Too young for what? Your little sister was advising me to go ahead and kiss you.
You were listening to us? It's what I do.
Well, what we do is none of your business.
But you weren't doing anything.
And you have no plans to do anything.
Boring.
What, are you writing a book, kid? You are, aren't you? You're writing something.
A journal? A diary, a paper for school? Believe me, I'm not writing anything.
I don't have anything to write about.
But you're supposed to be writing something.
I'm supposed to be, but I don't have anything to write about.
Maybe we should give her something to write about.
If you're suggesting we make some sort of physical contact No.
We have writing of our own to do.
Paper and pen, please.
How was the movie? Insipid.
I-N-S-I-P-I-D.
Insipid.
We're just gonna go in and grab a pizza.
We'll meet you back here.
Simon! That would be so rude.
Your brother drove us.
The least we can do is share our pizza with him.
I'm sure he doesn't want to entrude.
E-N-T-R-U-D-E.
Entrude.
Intrude.
I-N-T-R-U-D-E? Intrude.
On the other hand, if you're hungry.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Do you want to watch the rest of the movie? Yes.
Otherwise, someone might get suspicious.
Okay.
Uh But, wait.
Was this unlocked? You always get so paranoid.
Come on, let's go.
Have you been involved in Was that the baby? I don't know.
Was it? Do you want to check? You're up you check.
I'll check.
Really, I don't mind at all.
Why do you have to act like this when someone comes over? I don't act like this when someone comes over.
I act like this all the time.
You're right.
You do act like this all the time.
So when are you gonna grow up? Get off my case, will you? You could help me out around here just a little, you know? It's not like I ask you to do that much.
You don't ask me to do that much? You asked me to marry you, didn't you? Mercy's fine.
She just dropped her pacifier.
Thanks.
Maybe I should go.
No, please don't go.
I really need you to stay.
He won't be back for hours and I hate being here by myself with no one to talk to but Mercy.
Okay.
Do you smoke? No.
Um is that pot? Yeah.
I just need it to mellow out.
This motherhood and wife gig really sucks.
It just seems so unfair.
You make one little mistake, you know? Yeah.
I made a big mistake, too.
I got arrested for trashing the school gym last year.
You you got arrested.
Yeah, I'm still on probation.
Oh, so that's why you don't drink and smoke or anything.
Yeah, kind of.
And kind of because I feel out of control anyway.
Like I couldn't get my life back on track even if I wanted to.
Not that I want to.
It's not so bad just Existing.
Just existing.
I know what you mean.
Every time I make an effort to do something, it just feels like there's so much resistance.
I give up before I even get started.
Maybe we could help each other.
Maybe we should make an effort together.
Maybe we could go to college and see if anything changes.
I brought the brochures.
Do you want to look at them? No I'm, I'm too out of it now.
Maybe some other time.
Yeah, maybe some other time.
Hey, don't say it like that.
Don't give up on me.
I need a friend.
Well, I need a friend, too.
So tomorrow, we'll look at the colleges, we'll pick one and we'll apply to one.
Okay, tomorrow.
I'll call you.
Uh, do you want me to help you finish up the kitchen before I go.
No, let Johnnie do it when he get's home.
He's not such a bad guy.
He wanted to go to college, too, and major in English Lit, be a writer.
Hey, well all still have plenty of time to be whatever we want to be, right? Right.
Whatever I'm gonna be doesn't change what I already am a mom.
I'll see you.
So other than the main events, either party is free to date whomever they choose.
As long as those dates don't interfere with the commitments as outlined previously.
Well, I think that's it.
I actually feel good about this.
I knew you would.
I took the liberty of drafting your applications for some of the colleges that you had expressed interest in.
The school is offering business degrees actually put a lot of emphasis on community work.
And liberal arts colleges also want you to have practical business experience.
It's really not easy to know what to write because while it looks as if the admission boards are looking for the well-rounded student some were only interested in the student with very specific interests.
Shut up and kiss me.
Not until you get acceptance letter.
Good night.
Goodnight, son, and and welcome to Lucy's life.
I hope you will feel free to join us anytime for a meal, movie, laundry whatever you need.
Thank you sir, that's a very generous offer.
I'm sure we'll see each other again soon.
So, uh, you like him? I hardly know him.
But what you know you like? I guess.
I think he's gonna be good for you.
Good for us all.
Here, I took those and now I'm giving them back and I may want to borrow them again, but don't make any big deal out of this.
Could my night get any better? I hope not.
What did you mean by that? Nothing.
Boy, writing sure makes you hungry.
Thanks a lot for the movie and the pizza.
And it was really, really nice meeting your brother.
Yes, well he's a great guy.
Good night.
Simon? Aren't you forgetting something? Good night, Simon.
I thought if anybody was going to get a goodnight kiss, it would be me.
S-H-U-T U-P.
Come on.
It's still early.
We'll go over to the Promenade and hang out and pick up chicks who who don't spell.
I can't.
Can't? Well, maybe I can.
Yeah, all right.
How was dinner? Dinner was fine.
You smell like smoke.
Do your friends smoke? Frankie smokes sometimes.
Every time you come home from hanging out with them you smell like smoke.
And sooner or later, Mom and Dad are going to notice.
And so what if they do? It's none of their business.
You're not smoking, are you? No, I'm not smoking.
Are you smoking? No, I'm not smoking.
Well, I thought you might be.
Why? I don't know.
You know how I feel about how dangerous cigarettes are.
Well, there probably no more dangerous to your health than dating a mental patient.
Run that by me again.
Mental patient? I saw your friend when he was leaving.
So? Mike, right? Mike Pierce.
Didn't anyone tell you that he missed a year of school while he was hospitalized? What are you taking about? I'm taking about he used to be in my class.
And he took a year of from school because he went mental.
He tried to kill himself.
But I don't think he smokes.
Were you listening to Mary and me? No.
Honest.
Yes you were.
Okay, so your new boyfriend's crazy.
It's not like the others were so great.
Let me see that.
No.
It's my diary.
No ones see it but me.
Uh, I thought it was for school.
Okay, so no one see's it but me and my teacher.
I want to know what you have been writing in there.
And I want to win a million bucks.
Not gonna happen.
Okay.
Not gonna happen.
You know, I'm just going to let it go.
You're right.
It's your diary You can write whatever you want to write.
Uh, did all the kids leave home? Hello.
Oh, hi, Marcia, how are you? Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Well, no he's not here.
He has his own place, you know.
Yeah, he moved out a year ago.
Yeah, well, he doesn't give us his number, but I could give him yours.
Listed.
I see.
Oh, you have your own phone.
That must be nice.
Yeah, uh, what time did they drop you off.
Uh-huh, all righty.
Well, I'm sure they'll be here soon.
Yeah, do me a favor Spell Okefenokee? Excellent, thanks.
Yes I'll give him the message.
Marcia.
She spelled Okefenokee.
You told her Simon has his own place? No.
She was looking for Matt.
Why was she looking for Matt? No idea.
They dropped her off an hour ago.
Uh, I wonder where they are? I can tell you where they better not be.
We should just forget it and go home, man.
This evening's a bust.
Excuse me, do you know where the video arcade is? Sure, it's uh, it's ow! Why don't you show her? Yeah, uh, okay.
I'll be right back.
We should head up to bed.
Not till Simon gets home.
So the two of them went out.
I think Simon's too young to be hanging out with Matt.
Hello.
Yes, this is he.
She told you to call me? I don't know if there's anything I can do.
I'll give it some thought and I'll call you back.
That was one of our local police officers.
Matt and Simon? You know Mary's new little friends.
The, uh, cute couple with the baby, the family that she had dinner with tonight? They just got busted for marijuana.
They thought I might be of some help.
Did you know Ruthie is keeping a diary? Not now Luce.
Okay not now, but you may want to get to it before Monday when she hands it into her teacher.
Luce, the diary is going to have to wait.
Fine, if you don't care she saw you having sex, why should I.
Lucy said you wanted to see me.
What did I do? Do you smoke pot? No! I don't smoke pot.
Just because I'm not to college does not mean I am doing drugs.
Are you aware of the fact that your new friends smoked pot? What new friends? Frankie smokes cigarettes once in a while, but She and her husband got busted for pot.
Who told you that? Who told me? Who told me that they were arrested for possession of marijuana? The arresting officer told me.
Why did he tell you? I thought maybe you'd know.
Your friend Frankie asked him to call me.
They need help, they need bail money.
Of course they're gonna need a whole lot more than bail money to straighten out there lives, but that's what they're asking for tonight.
I mentioned more then a couple of times how you help people.
I'm going to ask you again.
Did you know they were smoking pot? Did you offer my help when you saw that they were smoking pot? Did you smoke with them? Did you try it? I saw them her do it for the first time tonight.
But I didn't smoke with her.
I swear.
Did you leave the house? Not right away, no.
Well, they got into a fight, a neighbor called the police.
The police came, they found the pot.
What if they have also found you? I don't know.
Are you going to help them? How would you have me help them? Pay the bail.
And Uh, and I don't know.
Do either of them have parents? Yeah, Frankie's mom keeps the baby when they work.
Do you happen to know Frankie's mother's name? Well, yeah, but I don't think that Frankie would want us to call her mother or she would have called her mother.
That has to be why she called you.
Well, the police are probably handing the baby over to a social worker about now.
Do you think it would be better for the baby to be with the grandmother or with someone she doesn't know? But you could bail them out and then they could just take the baby home.
I'm not bailing them out.
Where am I going to get the money to bail them out? From the church? You think I should take the church's money and bail two people out of jail who are that irresponsible? I mean, what if they skip bail? You would do it for anyone else.
Why won't you do it for my friends? Because I wouldn't do this for anyone else.
You don't know them.
They are good people.
They both work and they're trying to raise this kid and it's it's really hard.
So hard they have to smoke pot? I'll talk to them.
I'll make them stop.
You think they haven't thought about stopping before? But when their new friend Mary talks to them, they'll just quit?! Dad, please.
They really are my friends.
Frankie is my friend.
She asked me to bring over those college brochures so we could look over them and make a plan about going to school.
And did you? No.
Because she was too stoned? Mary, who are you? And what are you doing with these people? You know if you're not going to help them, I'll help them.
How? You don't have a job.
You don't have any money to help them.
You have to get help yourself before you can help anyone else.
I don't need any help.
And if you're not gonna go down to that police station and give them the money, then I'm going to get down there and find a way to do it myself.
I will.
You are not going down to the station and you are not going to even see these people again, ever! But I will go and I will talk to them and I'll do whatever I can other than give them money.
I didn't mean to scare you.
I never mean to scare anyone.
But I knocked at the front door and I didn't want to ring the bell because of the babies.
And then I came around here and I didn't mean to scare anyone.
Okay.
I saw your daughter, the other daughter, when I left.
And I know that she saw me.
I used to be in her class, but I missed a year of school and I think she probably told Lucy.
Did she tell you? No, but a few other things have happened since you left tonight.
Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow.
I know it's late, but I really need to talk to Lucy.
It really is late.
You do a lot of work at Kirland, right? The nut house.
I don't refer to it as a nut house.
But, yes, I do.
I tried to commit suicide But I'm okay now, really, and Dr.
Lawrence said he thought that I was ready to be social again.
That's good.
I know him.
You should take his advice.
He's a very smart man.
You can call him about me.
I was going to tell you when I told Lucy, but it's hard to know the right time to bring it up.
I understand.
She's very fickle.
You know? She's nice, but she's fickle.
So if she changes her mind, don't take it personally.
It could happen to anyone.
It has happened, many times.
I just want a chance.
Why don't you make your way to the living room and I'll just yell up the stairs.
Luce, could you come down here?! Your friend Mike is in the living room.
He needs to talk to you.
Mary said he tried to commit suicide.
He's a mental patient.
Or he was a mental patient.
Have you ever been sick? Have you ever seen a doctor? Did the doctor help you get well? Thanks, Dad.
I have got a phone number.
Your mother told you not to hang out with Matt and pick up chicks.
Mom told you that? Yeah, but You're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells you.
So I'm just going to take this page from your diary and tomorrow you can write something about your own life.
Okay.
Ruthie, it really isn't funny.
No, believe me, it's plenty funny.
I always thought it was so serious because you always have this serious face when you talk about sex.
But it was funny.
It's also very private and very intimate.
And while it's, it's perfectly natural for a man and a woman, a married man, and a married woman to make love to each other, it's not meant for anyone else to watch.
I didn't mean to.
And believe me, I'll do everything I can to make sure I never see anything like that again.
Thank you.
Now good night.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I didn't know we weren't supposed to hang out together.
I'm sorry.
Look, Marcia Chalker is an excellent speller and a crummy date.
I wanted to go somewhere afterwards.
I had a bad night.
We all had a bad night.
What's wrong? Um I don't want to talk about it, but your Dad went out to help Mary's friends who got themselves into some legal trouble.
Oh, what kind of legal trouble? Can we talk about it tomorrow? Well, is Mary okay? Yes.
No.
Mary's, well Mary's struggling this year.
Yeah.
I've noticed.
We've all noticed.
Is, uh, is there something else? No.
Not really.
It's not important.
It's just that there was an incident at the house.
A serious incident? Not entirely serious.
No.
Ruthie saw something that she shouldn't have.
A private moment between your father and me.
She saw you guys, uh Having S-E-X.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well it was bound to happen sooner or later.
No, it wasn't.
It's never happened before.
Never happened before? We We've all seen you.
I've seen you.
Mary's seen you.
Lucy's seen you.
Simon, Simon's seen you.
Hey wait, did you do that thing? When you say you're going upstairs to check on one of the kids and then dad says he's going to go upstairs to check on you.
And that usually throws up a red flag and we all steer clear.
But Ruthie didn't know the signal.
Well, how did the rest of you know the signal? It's kind of an obvious signal.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
Go to bed.
I don't live here.
Go to bed anyway.
You know, you're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells Oh.
I can't believe this.
I haven't really talked about it that much, other than the thousands of hours I spent with my shrink.
And then an hour here and there with my Mom when she can manage.
Well, we can talk about it if you want to.
Or if you don't want to that's okay, too.
I was rushing you to make that agreement because I just want to do the same things everyone else does their senior year.
Normal has been somewhat more important to me than it ever was or ever really should be.
It's just that I miss a year out of my life and I've got another shot so, I want to make it right.
I had a hunch you didn't know about me since you were so friendly in the counselor's office.
So I thought I'd get a commitment out of you before you found out.
What'd you think I'd do when I'd find out? Run.
Yeah.
But maybe by then you would have gone out with me a few times and seen that I'm not as crazy as people think I am.
I'm not running.
That's all I'm asking.
Okay, I'll give you a chance.
But let's take it slowly.
One senior event date at a time.
Deal.
I'm going to say good night before you change your mind.
Good night.
Hello.
Oh, hey, Frankie.
Your dad got us out.
Thank you so much for getting him to help us.
I was kind of surprised you called him.
I didn't know who else to call.
After I got pregnant my mom told me never to call her again if I get into trouble.
Of course, your dad made me promise to talk to her and talk to a counselor and whatever.
Well, at least you didn't have to call her from jail, you know? You're really lucky to have parents that are always there for you.
I know.
Good night.
I know.
I do it all the time.
I've fed my children for over 21 years now.
And, true, for many of them, your mom cooked most of the meals while I was out earning the money to pay for those meals, but from time to time, I have fed one of my offspring, or even all of my offspring, just as I am doing now without the aid of Mom.
I'm just looking for Mom because she asked me to pick up some soap for her.
Oh, she's upstairs.
Hey, what are you up to tonight? I haven't found another job yet, if that's what you're asking.
No.
I just thought, if you're going to be around tonight, and the other kids are going to be around tonight, and Matt has the night off, I thought maybe we might all hang out and watch a movie together.
Because we haven't all just sat around together and watched a movie, like, since Matt moved out.
I sort of made plans.
You met a guy at Unemployment? Very funny.
I haven't worked anywhere long enough to get unemployment.
You never really said exactly.
What happened at Pete's? He said that they weren't doing as well as he thought, and he just had to cut back.
Oh, I'm going to Frankie's and Johnny's house for dinner.
College brochures? Oh, so now you're getting on my case about not going to school, too? I'm not going.
I'll find a job.
These aren't for you.
They're for me.
I'm applying for early acceptance and these are the colleges my counselor said I could possibly get into.
So no one's on your case.
I didn't have anything else to do tonight, so I thought I'd do a little reading, and ask Mom and Dad for advice over the weekend.
You're applying for early acceptance? She's just doing it to make me look bad.
No one's trying to make you look bad This isn't about you.
Oh, right, that's why you put that stuff down right in front of my face.
Hello.
Hey, Frankie.
Are you doing this to motivate Mary? No.
I'm really not.
Well, it's okay.
It might work anyway.
Nice to know you care about me.
Hey, I do care, and I'm thrilled you're going to college.
My sister Lucy is applying to college.
I always wanted to go to college.
Not my fault.
I thought about it, but I didn't do anything about it.
It would be nice to get a college degree so you could finally have some choices of what you want to do with your life.
You haven't been talking to my parents, have you? No.
Hey, what if you and I decided to both sign up for college next semester? Be sure to apply for that scholarship.
Are you serious? Sure, I'm serious.
I don't know what I want to do either, but I know I don't want to wait tables the rest of my life.
If Lucy has anything on local schools, bring it over.
We'll talk while we make dinner.
Yeah, okay.
It wouldn't hurt to talk.
Oh, and could you bring three steaks? I've got everything else.
Sure.
No problem.
Hey, how did you guys get off tonight, anyway? We just couldn't take another Friday night, so we told Pete that Mercy is sick and we had to stay home with her.
Well, come on over.
We're just hanging.
Okay.
Well, I'll stop by the store, and I'll be there.
Don't sound so down.
She's fine.
I can't wait for you to meet her.
7th Heaven When I see their happy faces Smiling back at me 7th Heaven I know there's no greater feeling Than the love of family Where can you go When the world don't treat you right? The answer is home That's the one place that you'll find 7th Heaven Mmm, 7th Heaven 7th Heaven.
Ruthie, what's going on? Why was that chair in front of the door? I slid it over there.
Why did you slide it over there? Didn't want anyone to come in.
And why didn't you want anyone to come in? No reason.
Yes! I've got a date.
Well, that depends on who the lucky girl is that you asked out at the last minute.
Marcia Chalker.
Oh! I like Marcia Chalker.
She's a very nice young woman.
She's very smart, too.
She was a finalist in the National Spelling Bee a couple of years ago.
She was on television, remember? No.
I don't remember.
Oh.
Where are you taking her? I don't know.
But not to a spelling bee.
Probably a movie.
Okay.
Well, you'd better make sure that Matt knows you've got a date so he doesn't make other plans.
I already talked to him.
If I didn't get a date, the two of us were just going to go hang out together and pick up chicks.
He's coming over in an hour anyway.
No, you weren't going to go hang out and pick up chicks.
We're not going to now.
One of us doesn't need to.
You can't just go hang out with your brother who's in college and pick up chicks.
Why not? Because your mother won't let you.
It's not a thing a guy asks permission from his mother for It's just a thing guys do.
There are so many things wrong with this conversation, I don't know where to start, but I choose chicks.
I don't like your calling young women chicks or babes or anything else that depersonalizes them as human beings.
It makes them sound like property to be acquired.
And, secondly, you know, you're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells you.
And, thirdly, you just started dating, and dating's not a right, it's a privilege.
The difference between a right and a privilege is a privilege can be taken away.
Exactly.
So just go call Matt and tell him what your plans are.
Yes, ma'am.
Thanks once again for taking the tension off me.
What? So, you found someone desperate enough to go out with you at the last minute, huh? She's not desperate.
Oh, I see.
So you're desperate.
There's nothing wrong with me, and there's nothing wrong with Marcia.
She was a finalist in the National Spelling Bee! G-O-O-D L-U-C-K.
Look, I'm going to go call Matt, and then I'm going to get ready for what may be the best time I've ever had in my life.
So stop trying to ruin it for me.
Ruthie? Hey, what's going on? Nothing.
I was just wondering what movie you'd like to watch tonight.
Youngest gets to pick except, of course, Sam and David are too young to pick, so go for it.
You know there's never going to be another family movie night again, don't you? I mean, out of the five of us who speak English, you've got four daters.
Face it.
It's over.
It's not over.
Pick.
All right.
Got anything PG-13? You're not 13.
I know.
But with parental guidance, any movie is okay.
As long as parents explain the sex and violence and bad words, what's the harm? I'll pick.
Whatever.
I've got a project for school.
I'm out.
Were you talking to Ruthie? Yeah.
I was going to let her pick a movie for family night, but she doesn't seem interested.
Why isn't she interested? Something to do with a project.
She loves that new school.
What schoolwork could possibly be more enticing than watching a movie? I asked it's just as well.
Simon talked Marcia Chalker into going out with him, so he and Matt won't be here either.
If Matt and Simon aren't doing family movie night, I'm not doing family movie night.
Well, fine.
Your father and I will watch a movie together with no one around.
Just the two of us? Yeah.
A little popcorn.
A little wine.
A little you.
A little nauseous.
You mind if I have a friend over? You mean your infamous "husband" from biology? The father of your egg child? That's over.
This guy's name is Mike.
I met him in the counselor's office.
He's applying for early admission, too.
He's done a lot of research, so he said he'd help me out.
Financially? Well, you two can have the kitchen, but we have dibs on the living room.
Fine.
It's not like it's a date.
Does that mean there will be no making out? This is just a guy.
This is just Mike.
There will be no making out.
How many hours do you give her before she and Just Mike are making over the college brochures? The important thing is, however long it takes for them to lock lips, it will be over college brochures.
Lucy's going to college.
This will get the Camden dominoes back in order.
Matt, Mary, Lucy, Simon, Ruthie, Sam, David.
Eventually, one of them will make enough money to take care of us in our old age.
You're not going to grow old, and neither am I.
We're going to stay young forever.
Yeah.
And I think I know how.
See you at the movies.
Could you shut her up?! I'm trying to clean this dump before Mary gets here! You think you could shut her up?! Smart girl.
She knows when to shut up all on her own.
Hey, look who's here! Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
I'd like to, but Sorry.
Come on in.
Okay, this is her house right here.
Aren't we a little early for a date? It's still light out.
Marcia has an early curfew.
Wait.
Hold it, Romeo.
Are you sure you know what you're doing here? What's to know? It's a date.
It's a movie.
It's pizza.
It's a good night kiss.
It's never just a movie, a pizza and a good night kiss.
Fill me in later, all right? I'm busy here.
Wow.
Wow.
W-O-W.
Wow.
Uh Sorry my dad was so weird.
I can't ever remember getting such a warm reception.
Is he always like that? He's never like that.
So he sincerely likes me? He sincerely likes the fact that you're encouraging me to work toward an early acceptance to college.
Unfortunately, I don't know how much work we're gonna get done because, despite the fact that I brought home a brochure on every college within a thousand-mile radius, I can't seem to find even one of them.
They've disappeared.
That's okay.
I didn't really want to talk about college tonight anyway.
What? There are a lot of ways the two of us could help each other besides filling out college applications.
Excuse me? Sam and David are snug in their beds.
Ah Guess what I found to rent? The Graduate.
Maybe family movie night is a tradition whose time has passed.
Could be.
Are those? Yeah, that's right.
Chocolate-dipped strawberries.
I picked them up at the bakery next to the video store.
And I can have those? Those are okay for me? Oh, they're fine.
Mm Where's the make-out queen and her new student guidance counselor? In the kitchen.
Oh, and the little one? What's her name? Ruthie? She insists on staying in her room to finish whatever that secret project is.
I have no life.
On the other hand, everyone else in the house does.
So, you'll help me fill out the applications in a way that maximizes the possibility of acceptance and in return I have a guaranteed date to every major event of our senior year.
Gee, I-I don't know.
But we've never even been out before.
What if we don't like going out? It almost doesn't matter.
If we don't like it at first, we'll get to like it.
It's like an arranged marriage, only we're the ones arranging it.
Here's what I can offer you.
Outside of a well- executed application to every school of your choice, I'm entirely capable of showing you every consideration at each event we attend.
I can dance.
I'm an excellent conversationalist, and I have impeccable manners, as well as a car and a small amount of spending money.
I have virtually no friends, so there's no possibility you won't like who I hang out with, and unlike your last boyfriend, I never have to listen to what my father says because I don't have one.
I really just wanted some help applying to school.
I wasn't looking to complicate my life.
Well, sweetheart, life is complicated.
One night she can't get a guy to kiss her.
Next.
I just think medicine is the ultimate field to study.
It's so challenging, especially when you get into the upper-level courses where the information changes from week to week with all the rapid advances in research.
I'd go for genetics.
What area are you concentrating on? Well, right now I'm just concentrating on passing.
Third year.
Organic chemistry, right? Esterification.
E-S-T-E-R-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.
Esterification.
Of course, that's an easy one.
We'd better get going.
The movie's gonna start.
And we missed the first one 'cause you two were gabbing.
Oh, yeah.
The movie.
So, we'll see you later? I'll be here.
Knock it off, will ya? Fire's ready.
So, if the fire's ready Do I have to do everything? Well, I did everything else.
Fine.
I'll cook the steaks.
Don't ever get married.
Marriage takes a lot of work.
You have no idea.
Oh, I brought Lucy's college brochures if you want to take a look at them while we're waiting on steaks.
Uh, nah.
Maybe after we've eaten.
I can't concentrate now I'm too hungry.
You want a beer? Oh, I better not.
I got stopped by a cop driving home last Friday.
I'll just have a soda.
You think that cop is stalking you or something? Have a beer.
Maybe later.
I'm just gonna go upstairs and check on Sam and David.
Okay.
I'm going up to check on Sam and David.
Oh.
You're gonna check on Sam and David? That's right.
What are you doing? We're just watching a movie.
Your Mom just went upstairs to check on the guys.
How's it going? It's going fine.
Did you want to join us? No thanks I'm just going to grab a snack and go back to my room.
You still don't want to tell us what you're doing? I was just checking on the boys.
Oh, just checking on the boys.
I was just grabbing a pen and some paper.
Hmm.
Did you pick out a college yet? Not exactly.
Mm.
Well.
I'm just gonna check on your mother.
Whatever.
May I get a pen from your office? You take all the pens you need to fill out all the applications you want.
Just keep in mind there are application fees.
I'm just gonna check on Annie.
What if you wait all that time to kiss her and then it's no good? It'll be good.
Aren't you too young to be talking about this? I'm older than I look.
How old are you? How old are you? I asked you first.
Doesn't matter.
I don't have to tell you.
Ten? Nine.
17? Too young for what? Your little sister was advising me to go ahead and kiss you.
You were listening to us? It's what I do.
Well, what we do is none of your business.
But you weren't doing anything.
And you have no plans to do anything.
Boring.
What, are you writing a book, kid? You are, aren't you? You're writing something.
A journal? A diary, a paper for school? Believe me, I'm not writing anything.
I don't have anything to write about.
But you're supposed to be writing something.
I'm supposed to be, but I don't have anything to write about.
Maybe we should give her something to write about.
If you're suggesting we make some sort of physical contact No.
We have writing of our own to do.
Paper and pen, please.
How was the movie? Insipid.
I-N-S-I-P-I-D.
Insipid.
We're just gonna go in and grab a pizza.
We'll meet you back here.
Simon! That would be so rude.
Your brother drove us.
The least we can do is share our pizza with him.
I'm sure he doesn't want to entrude.
E-N-T-R-U-D-E.
Entrude.
Intrude.
I-N-T-R-U-D-E? Intrude.
On the other hand, if you're hungry.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Do you want to watch the rest of the movie? Yes.
Otherwise, someone might get suspicious.
Okay.
Uh But, wait.
Was this unlocked? You always get so paranoid.
Come on, let's go.
Have you been involved in Was that the baby? I don't know.
Was it? Do you want to check? You're up you check.
I'll check.
Really, I don't mind at all.
Why do you have to act like this when someone comes over? I don't act like this when someone comes over.
I act like this all the time.
You're right.
You do act like this all the time.
So when are you gonna grow up? Get off my case, will you? You could help me out around here just a little, you know? It's not like I ask you to do that much.
You don't ask me to do that much? You asked me to marry you, didn't you? Mercy's fine.
She just dropped her pacifier.
Thanks.
Maybe I should go.
No, please don't go.
I really need you to stay.
He won't be back for hours and I hate being here by myself with no one to talk to but Mercy.
Okay.
Do you smoke? No.
Um is that pot? Yeah.
I just need it to mellow out.
This motherhood and wife gig really sucks.
It just seems so unfair.
You make one little mistake, you know? Yeah.
I made a big mistake, too.
I got arrested for trashing the school gym last year.
You you got arrested.
Yeah, I'm still on probation.
Oh, so that's why you don't drink and smoke or anything.
Yeah, kind of.
And kind of because I feel out of control anyway.
Like I couldn't get my life back on track even if I wanted to.
Not that I want to.
It's not so bad just Existing.
Just existing.
I know what you mean.
Every time I make an effort to do something, it just feels like there's so much resistance.
I give up before I even get started.
Maybe we could help each other.
Maybe we should make an effort together.
Maybe we could go to college and see if anything changes.
I brought the brochures.
Do you want to look at them? No I'm, I'm too out of it now.
Maybe some other time.
Yeah, maybe some other time.
Hey, don't say it like that.
Don't give up on me.
I need a friend.
Well, I need a friend, too.
So tomorrow, we'll look at the colleges, we'll pick one and we'll apply to one.
Okay, tomorrow.
I'll call you.
Uh, do you want me to help you finish up the kitchen before I go.
No, let Johnnie do it when he get's home.
He's not such a bad guy.
He wanted to go to college, too, and major in English Lit, be a writer.
Hey, well all still have plenty of time to be whatever we want to be, right? Right.
Whatever I'm gonna be doesn't change what I already am a mom.
I'll see you.
So other than the main events, either party is free to date whomever they choose.
As long as those dates don't interfere with the commitments as outlined previously.
Well, I think that's it.
I actually feel good about this.
I knew you would.
I took the liberty of drafting your applications for some of the colleges that you had expressed interest in.
The school is offering business degrees actually put a lot of emphasis on community work.
And liberal arts colleges also want you to have practical business experience.
It's really not easy to know what to write because while it looks as if the admission boards are looking for the well-rounded student some were only interested in the student with very specific interests.
Shut up and kiss me.
Not until you get acceptance letter.
Good night.
Goodnight, son, and and welcome to Lucy's life.
I hope you will feel free to join us anytime for a meal, movie, laundry whatever you need.
Thank you sir, that's a very generous offer.
I'm sure we'll see each other again soon.
So, uh, you like him? I hardly know him.
But what you know you like? I guess.
I think he's gonna be good for you.
Good for us all.
Here, I took those and now I'm giving them back and I may want to borrow them again, but don't make any big deal out of this.
Could my night get any better? I hope not.
What did you mean by that? Nothing.
Boy, writing sure makes you hungry.
Thanks a lot for the movie and the pizza.
And it was really, really nice meeting your brother.
Yes, well he's a great guy.
Good night.
Simon? Aren't you forgetting something? Good night, Simon.
I thought if anybody was going to get a goodnight kiss, it would be me.
S-H-U-T U-P.
Come on.
It's still early.
We'll go over to the Promenade and hang out and pick up chicks who who don't spell.
I can't.
Can't? Well, maybe I can.
Yeah, all right.
How was dinner? Dinner was fine.
You smell like smoke.
Do your friends smoke? Frankie smokes sometimes.
Every time you come home from hanging out with them you smell like smoke.
And sooner or later, Mom and Dad are going to notice.
And so what if they do? It's none of their business.
You're not smoking, are you? No, I'm not smoking.
Are you smoking? No, I'm not smoking.
Well, I thought you might be.
Why? I don't know.
You know how I feel about how dangerous cigarettes are.
Well, there probably no more dangerous to your health than dating a mental patient.
Run that by me again.
Mental patient? I saw your friend when he was leaving.
So? Mike, right? Mike Pierce.
Didn't anyone tell you that he missed a year of school while he was hospitalized? What are you taking about? I'm taking about he used to be in my class.
And he took a year of from school because he went mental.
He tried to kill himself.
But I don't think he smokes.
Were you listening to Mary and me? No.
Honest.
Yes you were.
Okay, so your new boyfriend's crazy.
It's not like the others were so great.
Let me see that.
No.
It's my diary.
No ones see it but me.
Uh, I thought it was for school.
Okay, so no one see's it but me and my teacher.
I want to know what you have been writing in there.
And I want to win a million bucks.
Not gonna happen.
Okay.
Not gonna happen.
You know, I'm just going to let it go.
You're right.
It's your diary You can write whatever you want to write.
Uh, did all the kids leave home? Hello.
Oh, hi, Marcia, how are you? Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Well, no he's not here.
He has his own place, you know.
Yeah, he moved out a year ago.
Yeah, well, he doesn't give us his number, but I could give him yours.
Listed.
I see.
Oh, you have your own phone.
That must be nice.
Yeah, uh, what time did they drop you off.
Uh-huh, all righty.
Well, I'm sure they'll be here soon.
Yeah, do me a favor Spell Okefenokee? Excellent, thanks.
Yes I'll give him the message.
Marcia.
She spelled Okefenokee.
You told her Simon has his own place? No.
She was looking for Matt.
Why was she looking for Matt? No idea.
They dropped her off an hour ago.
Uh, I wonder where they are? I can tell you where they better not be.
We should just forget it and go home, man.
This evening's a bust.
Excuse me, do you know where the video arcade is? Sure, it's uh, it's ow! Why don't you show her? Yeah, uh, okay.
I'll be right back.
We should head up to bed.
Not till Simon gets home.
So the two of them went out.
I think Simon's too young to be hanging out with Matt.
Hello.
Yes, this is he.
She told you to call me? I don't know if there's anything I can do.
I'll give it some thought and I'll call you back.
That was one of our local police officers.
Matt and Simon? You know Mary's new little friends.
The, uh, cute couple with the baby, the family that she had dinner with tonight? They just got busted for marijuana.
They thought I might be of some help.
Did you know Ruthie is keeping a diary? Not now Luce.
Okay not now, but you may want to get to it before Monday when she hands it into her teacher.
Luce, the diary is going to have to wait.
Fine, if you don't care she saw you having sex, why should I.
Lucy said you wanted to see me.
What did I do? Do you smoke pot? No! I don't smoke pot.
Just because I'm not to college does not mean I am doing drugs.
Are you aware of the fact that your new friends smoked pot? What new friends? Frankie smokes cigarettes once in a while, but She and her husband got busted for pot.
Who told you that? Who told me? Who told me that they were arrested for possession of marijuana? The arresting officer told me.
Why did he tell you? I thought maybe you'd know.
Your friend Frankie asked him to call me.
They need help, they need bail money.
Of course they're gonna need a whole lot more than bail money to straighten out there lives, but that's what they're asking for tonight.
I mentioned more then a couple of times how you help people.
I'm going to ask you again.
Did you know they were smoking pot? Did you offer my help when you saw that they were smoking pot? Did you smoke with them? Did you try it? I saw them her do it for the first time tonight.
But I didn't smoke with her.
I swear.
Did you leave the house? Not right away, no.
Well, they got into a fight, a neighbor called the police.
The police came, they found the pot.
What if they have also found you? I don't know.
Are you going to help them? How would you have me help them? Pay the bail.
And Uh, and I don't know.
Do either of them have parents? Yeah, Frankie's mom keeps the baby when they work.
Do you happen to know Frankie's mother's name? Well, yeah, but I don't think that Frankie would want us to call her mother or she would have called her mother.
That has to be why she called you.
Well, the police are probably handing the baby over to a social worker about now.
Do you think it would be better for the baby to be with the grandmother or with someone she doesn't know? But you could bail them out and then they could just take the baby home.
I'm not bailing them out.
Where am I going to get the money to bail them out? From the church? You think I should take the church's money and bail two people out of jail who are that irresponsible? I mean, what if they skip bail? You would do it for anyone else.
Why won't you do it for my friends? Because I wouldn't do this for anyone else.
You don't know them.
They are good people.
They both work and they're trying to raise this kid and it's it's really hard.
So hard they have to smoke pot? I'll talk to them.
I'll make them stop.
You think they haven't thought about stopping before? But when their new friend Mary talks to them, they'll just quit?! Dad, please.
They really are my friends.
Frankie is my friend.
She asked me to bring over those college brochures so we could look over them and make a plan about going to school.
And did you? No.
Because she was too stoned? Mary, who are you? And what are you doing with these people? You know if you're not going to help them, I'll help them.
How? You don't have a job.
You don't have any money to help them.
You have to get help yourself before you can help anyone else.
I don't need any help.
And if you're not gonna go down to that police station and give them the money, then I'm going to get down there and find a way to do it myself.
I will.
You are not going down to the station and you are not going to even see these people again, ever! But I will go and I will talk to them and I'll do whatever I can other than give them money.
I didn't mean to scare you.
I never mean to scare anyone.
But I knocked at the front door and I didn't want to ring the bell because of the babies.
And then I came around here and I didn't mean to scare anyone.
Okay.
I saw your daughter, the other daughter, when I left.
And I know that she saw me.
I used to be in her class, but I missed a year of school and I think she probably told Lucy.
Did she tell you? No, but a few other things have happened since you left tonight.
Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow.
I know it's late, but I really need to talk to Lucy.
It really is late.
You do a lot of work at Kirland, right? The nut house.
I don't refer to it as a nut house.
But, yes, I do.
I tried to commit suicide But I'm okay now, really, and Dr.
Lawrence said he thought that I was ready to be social again.
That's good.
I know him.
You should take his advice.
He's a very smart man.
You can call him about me.
I was going to tell you when I told Lucy, but it's hard to know the right time to bring it up.
I understand.
She's very fickle.
You know? She's nice, but she's fickle.
So if she changes her mind, don't take it personally.
It could happen to anyone.
It has happened, many times.
I just want a chance.
Why don't you make your way to the living room and I'll just yell up the stairs.
Luce, could you come down here?! Your friend Mike is in the living room.
He needs to talk to you.
Mary said he tried to commit suicide.
He's a mental patient.
Or he was a mental patient.
Have you ever been sick? Have you ever seen a doctor? Did the doctor help you get well? Thanks, Dad.
I have got a phone number.
Your mother told you not to hang out with Matt and pick up chicks.
Mom told you that? Yeah, but You're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells you.
So I'm just going to take this page from your diary and tomorrow you can write something about your own life.
Okay.
Ruthie, it really isn't funny.
No, believe me, it's plenty funny.
I always thought it was so serious because you always have this serious face when you talk about sex.
But it was funny.
It's also very private and very intimate.
And while it's, it's perfectly natural for a man and a woman, a married man, and a married woman to make love to each other, it's not meant for anyone else to watch.
I didn't mean to.
And believe me, I'll do everything I can to make sure I never see anything like that again.
Thank you.
Now good night.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I didn't know we weren't supposed to hang out together.
I'm sorry.
Look, Marcia Chalker is an excellent speller and a crummy date.
I wanted to go somewhere afterwards.
I had a bad night.
We all had a bad night.
What's wrong? Um I don't want to talk about it, but your Dad went out to help Mary's friends who got themselves into some legal trouble.
Oh, what kind of legal trouble? Can we talk about it tomorrow? Well, is Mary okay? Yes.
No.
Mary's, well Mary's struggling this year.
Yeah.
I've noticed.
We've all noticed.
Is, uh, is there something else? No.
Not really.
It's not important.
It's just that there was an incident at the house.
A serious incident? Not entirely serious.
No.
Ruthie saw something that she shouldn't have.
A private moment between your father and me.
She saw you guys, uh Having S-E-X.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well it was bound to happen sooner or later.
No, it wasn't.
It's never happened before.
Never happened before? We We've all seen you.
I've seen you.
Mary's seen you.
Lucy's seen you.
Simon, Simon's seen you.
Hey wait, did you do that thing? When you say you're going upstairs to check on one of the kids and then dad says he's going to go upstairs to check on you.
And that usually throws up a red flag and we all steer clear.
But Ruthie didn't know the signal.
Well, how did the rest of you know the signal? It's kind of an obvious signal.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
Go to bed.
I don't live here.
Go to bed anyway.
You know, you're never too old or too cool to do what your mother tells Oh.
I can't believe this.
I haven't really talked about it that much, other than the thousands of hours I spent with my shrink.
And then an hour here and there with my Mom when she can manage.
Well, we can talk about it if you want to.
Or if you don't want to that's okay, too.
I was rushing you to make that agreement because I just want to do the same things everyone else does their senior year.
Normal has been somewhat more important to me than it ever was or ever really should be.
It's just that I miss a year out of my life and I've got another shot so, I want to make it right.
I had a hunch you didn't know about me since you were so friendly in the counselor's office.
So I thought I'd get a commitment out of you before you found out.
What'd you think I'd do when I'd find out? Run.
Yeah.
But maybe by then you would have gone out with me a few times and seen that I'm not as crazy as people think I am.
I'm not running.
That's all I'm asking.
Okay, I'll give you a chance.
But let's take it slowly.
One senior event date at a time.
Deal.
I'm going to say good night before you change your mind.
Good night.
Hello.
Oh, hey, Frankie.
Your dad got us out.
Thank you so much for getting him to help us.
I was kind of surprised you called him.
I didn't know who else to call.
After I got pregnant my mom told me never to call her again if I get into trouble.
Of course, your dad made me promise to talk to her and talk to a counselor and whatever.
Well, at least you didn't have to call her from jail, you know? You're really lucky to have parents that are always there for you.
I know.
Good night.
I know.