A.N.T. Farm (2011) s02e16 Episode Script
ChANTs of a Lifetime
Ah.
What I love most about camping are the sounds of nature.
There's no nature.
We're camping out for concert tickets.
I'm still enjoying that beautiful full moon.
That's the search light on a police helicopter.
This is so awesome! I cannot believe we're going to see Trifecta! They're my favorite band! Mine too! I always work out to their music.
Not exercise.
I work out complex mathematical equations.
What was that? Was that a wolf? Stop being so ridiculous.
There are no wolves in downtown San Francisco.
Wacky's ahead of us in line? They only release the first ten rows the day of the concert.
Well, relax.
Who's hungry? I'm making hot dogs! Fletcher, you can't roast a weenie without a fire.
I know.
That's why I'm steaming it over this sewer grate.
Well, camping's not the same without sitting around a warm sewer grate singing traditional sewer grate songs.
I came from San Francisco With a gee-tar on my knee I'm going to see Trifecta my favorite band of three Oh, Trifecta Shut up back there! Oh, Trifecta Won't you sing for me Been waiting seven hours and I really got to pee Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it You got it We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways 365 days We got it We got it You can dream it You can be it If you can feel it You can believe it 'Cause I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Whoo! Well, it's almost dawn.
Looks like we made it through attacked by mountain lions.
Of course we did.
According to and Game recordssh dating back to 1890, there has never been a mountain lion attack within the city limits of San Francisco.
Wow.
The rivalry between the Webster Wolves and the Madison Mountain Lions is really getting out of hand.
Really good seats.
Can you imagine being like ten feet from Trifecta? Ah! Are you feeling any better, Darlene? Mmm-mmm.
Not really.
I told you not to eat that chimichanga you cooked in the bus's tailpipe.
We have a microwave.
Mmm-mmm.
I read those things are dangerous.
Besides, a microwave doesn't give it that same smoky flavor.
Uh-oh.
Need a bathroom.
Not in the bus! Great.
What are we going to do now? Buy a new bus? I mean about the concert.
Darlene is still really sick.
She will not be able to sing and dance tonight.
How are we going to perform without Darlene? She has the voice of an angel.
I need toilet paper! There's a new roll in there.
Not anymore! No one is a bigger Trifecta fan than I am.
I know all their dance moves and all the words to their songs.
Go! Goooo Gooo Goooo Go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go go go Go go go go go Wow.
How did you memorize all those word? That's just the chorus.
There are more words.
You want to hear them? No! I am trying to relax here! Come on, Laurin.
We should go talk to that kid! The mean one on the massage chair? No! The one who can sing! She knows our songs.
She knows our moves.
She even looks a little bit like you.
Uh, excuse me.
Back of the line, sister.
I've been waiting here all night.
I don't think they need tickets.
Yes, we're who you think we are.
This is so exciting.
I'm such a big fan.
Thanks to you, I was finally able to prove Euler's Formula while listening to the house remix of "Who Dat Party Cat.
" Ah, Euler's Formula.
E to the power of the product of the imaginary number and pi equals negative one.
What a classic.
Can we talk to you for a minute? You guys want to talk to me? But I don't want to lose my place in line.
I want to make sure I have a great view of the show.
Oh, you'll have a great view.
You'll be on stage with us! Ooh.
I don't think I can afford those seats.
You won't be sitting.
You'll be singing and dancing.
We want you to fill in for Darlene! Me? Perform with Trifecta? Chyna? Are you okay? Did you see a bear? Can you believe you're actually going to be singing with Trifecta tonight? I know know know know know know know know know know know! So who are you going to give your ticket to? Ooh.
How about Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe? Ooh.
Or that guy with the 'Fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro? Check it out.
I got the two best tickets for the Trifecta concert.
Those are good, but I think Chyna's going to be way closer to the band than you.
That's impossible.
These are front row tickets.
Oh! Cool! It'll be nice to see a familiar face while I'm performing.
Performing? Yep.
I'm filling in for Darlene and singing with Trifecta tonight! You have got to be kidding me! I spent $400 on tickets to see you sing? I see that every day for free! Ugh! Out of my way, Joe! Just try to relax.
I know there are a lot of people here, but it's going to go fine.
I know.
I'm just so nervous for Chyna! Here.
Breathe into this.
How is that going to help? Oh, it won't.
But I figured since you were hyperventilating, you could inflate my beach ball.
I'm going to bat it around during the show.
Yep.
I'm going to be that guy.
Go! Goooo goooo goooo Go go go! Goooo goooo goooo Go go Everywhere I go I hear the echo of a roar that keeps rising On the horizon, yeah Walking down the street I feel the energy the world is demanding The spaceship has landed Now there's no going back Back back back back back No there's no going back Back back back back back Now there's no going back Back back back back back No, there's no going back back back back back back I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no That's my best friend.
Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die! Don't be scared just go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Don't think about it go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go Who needs tickets? Cheap! Shine under the pressure Cause the way we deal with it will define us Pressure makes diamonds Now there's no going back Back back back back back No there's no going back Back back back back I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die Don't be scared just go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go Stop it! Why do I go to concerts with you guys? I feel it in the air tonight I'm seeing a light In the dark ignited And no one's stopping me now I'm living my dream And you're all invited.
I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die Don't be scared just go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go, go Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go, go Go where you go Go where you go Go where you go, go Go where you go Go, go, go Goooo Goooo Goooo Go, go, go What's everyone so happy about? Is it macaroni and beef day? Hey, Chyna! It's me Paisley! Paisley Houndstooth! We went to school together before you were famous.
Paisley, that was yesterday.
It does feel like yesterday.
She remembers me! Hey, what are you guys doing? You don't have to let me go to the front of the line.
I'm still the same Chyna.
Shh.
It is macaroni and beef day and there's never enough to go around.
Watch out! Famous celebrity and her entourage coming through! Guys, relax.
Last night was really cool, but it was just a one time thing.
I do not need special treatment.
Although decent treatment would be nice.
Psst.
Chyna? Syerra? Laurin? What are you guys doing here? And why are you dressed like that? This is what we wear when we're out in public, so we don't get mobbed.
Look who's here! Two nobodies trying to horn in on our macaroni and beef! Let's get 'em! Relax! They don't even like macaroni and beef.
They don't like macaroni and beef? Let's get 'em! Yeah! I mean, they had macaroni and beef before they came.
They have their own stash of macaroni and beef? Let's get 'em! Yeah! Did I say macaroni and beef? I meant beef and macaroni.
Oh! Anyway, it turns out Darlene had a lot of time to think while she was on the toilet.
And she decided to quit Trifecta.
For good.
What? Trifecta can't break up! Track five on your third album is Together Forever.
We're not breaking up.
We're just getting a new member.
You.
What? You were so good last night no one even missed Darlene.
So we want you to leave school and go on tour with us! You want Chyna to leave school? And go on tour with them.
Yes! I'm in Trifecta! I'm in Trifecta! Did you guys hear that? I'm in Trifecta! Hey! There's my megastar! Thanks, Dad.
No, I meant my Megastar universal remote I bought.
It controls the TV and the DVR! Mmm! But you were incredible! I'm so proud of you! I brought you something from school.
Is this macaroni and beef? What do you want? Nothing.
I was just wondering if.
I could go on a little trip with a couple of friends.
Well, where would you guys be going? These places.
Trifecta asked me to join the band and go on tour with them.
What? I thought this was a one time thing.
Well, it was supposed to be, but Darlene quit.
Now they want to make me a permanent member.
Isn't that exciting? And only exciting, and not at all a problem in any kind of way? Well, aren't you going to say something? Come on, say something.
Anything.
Okay.
No, you can't go.
Absolutely not.
Okay, um, come to think of it, don't say anything.
Just take your time.
Mull it over, perhaps while eating some delicious macaroni and beef, which, uh, keep in mind, I brought you so you kind of owe me one now.
Chyna, you're 13 years old.
I know, but, I'll be completely supervised, I'll have a full-time tutor, and I'll be a Trifecta! But all the places on this shirt are far away.
Can't you guys just tour the neighborhood? I know it's a big step, Dad, but this is everything I've ever wanted.
You always say we should follow our dreams.
Yeah, but I meant the kind of dreams I have.
Like last night.
I had a dream that I put bacon on my cereal.
And then this morning, I lived my dream.
Not the type of dreams that would take my little girl far away from me.
I'd really miss you too, Dad, but this is the chance of a lifetime.
Please.
Well, I'll have to ask your mom, but Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hey! I did not say yes yet.
But if this is what you want, I'll support you.
I love you so much! I love you, too.
That's why I'm not letting go of you until you get on that bus.
Surprise! That's so sweet! I can't believe you guys threw a farewell party for me! Oh, we didn't.
She did.
I've been planning it since the day you showed up at this school.
Finally a chance to use these "Good riddance Chyna" balloons! Oh, Lexi.
I'm going to miss you least of all.
You're going to miss me? Chyna, I know it's silly, but now that you're famous and all, can I get your autograph before you leave? Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Ha! You just signed an iron-clad, binding contract that says you will never leave Webster High! Plus we're now legally married in the Bahamas.
Fletcher, this is a geography test you got a D on.
My mom was supposed to sign that one.
I can't believe I'm not gonna see you guys for almost a year.
Punch me in the face.
What? Punch me in the face! Why would I punch you in the face? Because I'm not gonna miss some jerk who punches me in the face! Olive, I'm not going to punch you in the face.
Of course not! You would never do that to me.
That's why I'm going to miss you so much! I'll punch you in the face.
Stay out of this, Fletcher! Maybe I could come with you.
Do you guys need any backup dancers? Look, I'm really going to miss you guys, too.
But we'll video chat every day.
We have our A.
N.
T.
Pads! Actually, that's school property.
And as school supply monitor, I'm gonna need to confiscate that.
Ah.
Here, take it.
I won't tell.
Come on, guys, it's time for cake! "I thought you'd never leave.
" Aw.
How sweet.
It's made with coconut.
You hate coconut, right? Welcome to your home for the next year! Come on.
We will show you around while Gus gets your bags.
He's our new bus driver.
I can't believe our last bus driver quit.
We wrote "Together Forever" about him.
Don't worry about me texting and driving, because I do not know what texting is.
So, Chyna, what do you think? This place is awesome! Video games, a recording studio Ooh, what's in here? That's the bathroom.
But, I wouldn't go in there.
It's still recovering from Darlene.
But don't worry.
We've got this scented candle.
So, there's a living room, a kitchen, and three bedrooms.
Ooh! Can I please have the top bunk? Yes! Am I going to fall out every time the bus turns? Yes! What's in this thing? Fletcher? This happens all the time.
Crazed fans trying to sneak on the bus.
That's why we both study ju-jitsu! Hi-yah! No.
No, no, no, no.
Wow.
That ju-jitsu really works.
And we've only had one lesson.
How to yell "hi-yah" and pose like this Why are you gift wrapping the hallways? They're posters for the school play.
We already had the school play.
Chyna was the lead and you were the lead usher.
I remember your big line.
"Who cares? Just sit anywhere!" I don't care if we already did a school play! We're doing another one! Chyna's gone and I finally get to be the star and not her! Actually, now that she's in Trifecta, she's a bigger star than ever.
Shut up, we're doing a play! Well, looks like Chyna and I aren't going to be together anytime soon, so I guess it's time to move on to my second choice.
Uh, you better not be looking at me.
I said second choice, not zombie apocalypse and you and I are the last humans alive choice.
What are those big kids doing in here? I don't know.
What do we do? Don't look at me.
Obviously I'm not looking at you.
Didn't you hear what I said in the hallway? I mean Chyna was the one who always handled these kind of things.
Relax.
I'll take care of it.
Excuse me, is there something you need? I did not expect him to say an "ottoman.
" While I find this demeaning, I am somewhat impressed by their vocabulary.
That autograph signing was really fun! Eventually my hand will stop, right? Guys, here is our itinerary.
We're going to hit 38 cities in the U.
S.
and Canada.
Then we're off to Europe, Asia, and South America.
Whoa.
Don't you guys think we're moving too fast? Hey, baby, that's the life of a pop star! No, I mean the bus.
Something's not right.
Gus, what's going on? The gas pedal's stuck and the brakes aren't working! What? How are we going to stop? Probably by landing in whatever's at the bottom of that ravine.
I thought this bus was state-of-the art! How could this happen? Cut me from the band? I'll cut your brakes! We're going to die! We're going to die! At least steer! Oh, yeah, right.
Hi, Chyna! Guys, I can't talk right now! We have a little problem and could use your advice.
This is really not a good time! Oh, sorry.
I guess you're too busy to talk to commoners like us.
No, no, no.
You don't understand! We're in the fast lane and we can't stop! We get it.
You're famous! We just wanted to ask you Seriously! I'm going to have to call you back! That's it.
We're going to drive into that ravine, plummet to the bottom, and explode into a ball of fire! That's crazy! The cover of this month's Teeny BoppMagazine says.
"Trifecta's on Fire!" How do they know these things are going to happen? Gus! Does this bus have an emergency exit? Yes, in the back! Well, open it up! But we're only supposed to open it in case of an emergency.
I think this qualifies.
Now come on.
It's time to go! Sorry, Trifecta! Looks like this is the final stop on your tour! That was awesome, Chyna! We made it! Incredible.
Look at this issue of Teeny Bopper.
"Trifecta Has Made It!" I wonder what's going to happen to us next.
I feel like we left someone on the bus.
Gus! That was a heck of a jump! Gus, you're okay! I discovered the bus had an emergency brake! I also discovered the headlights had a disco mode.
Step right up! Get 'em while they're hot! Hey, Lexi.
How's your bake sale going? These cookies don't look very good.
Those are tickets to my play! Oh.
I wish I hadn't eaten four of them when your back was turned.
I don't understand why no one's buying tickets.
Lexi: The Musical is the riveting story of the prettiest girl in school, tormented by the arrival of an evil so-called musical prodigy.
I wrote it myself.
It's probably because everyone's already busy Friday night.
Doing what? Going to the R.
O.
F.
L.
concert.
I bought two tickets.
What's R.
O.
F.
L? Cameron and Angus's electropop party band.
R.
O.
F.
L.
is in the house tonight! Everyone's gonna have a moderately decent time! I never thought I'd miss being an ottoman.
What are you complaining about? You got the salsa hat! I've got hot cheese! Ah.
I wish Chyna were here.
She'd know how to deal with this.
And even if she didn't, she smells pretty.
You know what? You're right.
Maybe what's required here is a woman's touch.
Where are we going to get a woman? I'm talking about me! Watch this.
Hey there, boys.
Would you mind sitting somewhere else? I need a place to rest my gluteal muscles and my sacrotuberous ligament.
Please, guys.
We need a place to work on our talents just like you need your basketball chamber or your football patch.
Well, the new Ant Farm is definitely cozier.
It's a janitor's closet.
Ow.
My sacrotuberous ligament.
Dye! Dye! Dye! This hair salon video game is really cool.
Yeah, well time to turn up the heat and blow you away! Thank you! My character's bangs look super cute now! Life on the road's pretty fun, when you're not barreling towards a fiery death.
I can't wait for our next show.
Yeah, speaking of which, shouldn't we be in Portland already? Looks like we're at some lighthouse.
I think we're lost.
Too bad Olive's not here.
She'd know exactly where we are, as well as the name of the lighthouse, what year it was built, who designed it, and whether the gift shop has kettle corn.
She loves kettle corn.
Gus, have you been following the GPS? The what? I'm just following this sweet sounding lady that keeps telling me where to go.
Left turn ahead.
Whatever you say, baby.
Maybe there's someone here who can give us directions.
Hello? Huh.
Do either of you have a spare - Ow! - Ow! Syerra? Laurin? Are you guys okay? Ow! What happened? I think someone knocked us out.
Hey look! There's a smart one in the group now.
Darlene! Thank goodness you're here! And it's obviously not you.
Darlene? You did this? Why? Because you stole my spot in Trifecta! I didn't steal anything.
These guys told me you thought about it on the toilet and decided to leave the group.
Well, that is where I make a lot of my life-changing decisions.
But why would I willingly give up the life of a pop star? To become a peaceful lighthouse keeper in Oregon? Who in their right mind would take a job in a building with 4,000 stairs? You guys lied to me! We did not lie to you! We would never lie to you! Are you lying to me right now about lying to me? Yes.
Darlene didn't quit.
We fired her because she's always really passive-aggressive.
Oh, well, she seems to have fixed that.
Now she's aggressive-aggressive! Anyway, I had another idea while I was on the toilet reprogramming your GPS.
Right turn ahead.
Left turn ahead.
You have reached your final destination.
Wait, you should be happy they kicked you out of Trifecta! Because the day after you left, somebody cut the brakes on our bus! Oh.
I'm the real deal, I ain't no phony I'm way too hot, like, spicy pepperoni I may be short, like a Shetland pony But my award-winning moves deserve a Tony Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Try to look me up, but you can't define me! Gots to go, gots to shake my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my, my heiny Ooh, I'm shakin' my What are you doing? Shakin' my heiny? I mean, putting on a concert Friday night! That's the night of my play! With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine! No.
With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine.
Plus chicks are going to be breaking down our door.
Yeah, from the inside, trying to escape.
Take it from me.
Girls don't like guys in bands.
They like guys in show-stopping musicals.
They do? Hmm.
If we cancel our concert, can we be in your play? Sure.
You can be Angus.
I don't know.
Angus is funny, but he seems more like a side character.
I want to play the lead.
Chyna! Chyna is not the Fine! You can be Chyna! And I suppose you want to play Will Smith.
Whoo! What would Will Smith be doing at Webster? I don't know.
That's for the writer to figure out.
Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny What are you going to do to us? Remember how I wanted a rotisserie on the bus and you said no? Well, guess what? Now you chicks are getting roasted! How are you laughing? I'm not.
That's my ring tone.
Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Help! Help! This crazy girl is trying to kill us! Oh, that? We're just rehearsing a new song called.
"Help! Help! This Crazy Girl Is Trying to Kill Us!" Now what? Maybe we can use this light to signal for some help.
Like in Gotham City, when they used the bat signal.
We just need to make our bodies into the shape of a bat.
Oh.
Or we could make a bunny rabbit! Ooh, I like that! Bunnies are much cuter! One problem.
There's no bunny superhero! Stop right there! Bunny Man? Excuse me, do you mind? I'm trying to roast these people.
Get her, Bunny Man! Actually, I'm just the lighthouse keeper.
Then why are you dressed like a bunny? I'm in the middle of a race with a tortoise.
But don't worry, I have plenty of time to find out what you guys are up to.
Now I will free these girls! I may not be a superhero, but there's one thing I detest! Injustice.
Smudges on my light.
I must hop off into the night.
I have a carrot cake in the oven.
Now it's time to say goodbye to Trifecta, because I'm going solo! Oh, yeah, well, I think you need to clean up your act! Well, good thing I got her those swimming lessons for Secret Santa.
Oh, no! Do you think she saw a shark? That wasn't a scream.
That was my ringtone.
Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Chyna, you got your first piece of fan mail.
And you're on the cover of Teeny Bopper magazine.
"Trifecta's Newest Member Gets.
"First Piece of Fan Mail.
" Wow, this magazine knows their stuff.
And this postcard is from Olive and Fletcher, my best friends! We know.
We read the article.
And the postcard.
Dear Chyna.
It's me, Olive.
And Fletcher! By the time you get this, you should be well on your way to Seattle.
By the way, I hope you had an opportunity to stop at Oregon's beautiful Tillamook Rock Lighthouse, built in 1881, under the leadership of George Lewis Gillespie, Jr.
Its gift shop has delicious kettle corn, popped fresh by a delightful but eccentric lighthouse keeper in a bunny suit.
Unbelievable! Olive took up all the space! I barely have any room to write "I love" Hmm.
I wonder what he loves.
I miss those guys so much.
I'm going to call them! Okay.
Sure, the janitor kicked us out, but the new Ant Farm has this great purse hook.
Yeah, and a toilet.
This is my first day here.
Is it always like this? That's Chyna's ring tone! I can't reach my A.
N.
T.
Pad.
It's in my backpack! Will anyone with a free hand, reach into Fletcher's backpack! Hey! You with the cold hands.
That is not my backpack! My first day keeps getting worse.
Hey, hey, I've got it! Oh, no! The toilet's auto flush! No one move! Hey, guys.
Why did you have to come into the Ant Farm now? Ant Farm? Is everything okay? I keep trying, but I can't reach my best friends.
I used to talk to them all day at school, and then more when I got home.
But I haven't even spoken to them once since I left.
Life on the road isn't easy, is it? No.
I guess I was just so excited when Syerra and Laurin asked me to join Trifecta that I didn't really think about what I'd be giving up.
My friends, my family.
Mmm.
I even miss my brother.
What should I do, Gus? Well, you need to listen to your heart.
Unless, like mine, it's saying, "Please stop eating bacon.
" That's just crazy talk.
Sold out? Well, that's a bit harsh.
I mean I know they're extremely commercial, but I wouldn't say Trifecta's sold out.
The tickets are sold out! I told you we should have checked before we flew to Seattle to see Chyna.
This is all your fault.
Just because I said.
"Don't worry.
There's no way there won't be tickets.
"Let's fly to Seattle without checking," suddenly this is my fault? Olive! Fletcher! What are you guys doing here? We came to see you, Chyna! And you guys, too.
But really just you.
Well, I've missed you both so much! I have a few hours till the show.
We can hang out.
We should check out Seattle's famous Pike's Place Market, where the fishmongers are famous for throwing giant salmon.
I wonder if it's near here.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's near here.
Okay, let's rehearse the climactic scene where our heroine, the beautiful and talented Lexi, has her party ruined by the evil Chyna.
And begin.
I, the evil Chyna, will now intentionally ruin Lexi's party by destroying her stereo! Paisley! That's your line! Yeah, I have some questions about this Paisley character.
She seems really dumb.
It doesn't seem believable.
Oh, it's believable.
And why is she friends with Lexi? Lexi seems so full of herself.
Lexi is not full of herself! Now can we please go back to rehearsing.
"Lexi: The Musical" starring Lexi! Yeah! Let's do this Will Smith Style! Whoo! If you all want music, I, the evil Chyna, can play something.
Just as I'd planned from the beginning.
No.
Everyone would rather hear the beautiful and talented Lexi sing, right? The script says "murmur in agreement!" So murmur in agreement! Well, if you all insist.
I'll give them a performance they'll never forget.
They will if I use this neuralyzer.
Just stick to the script! Okay.
Whoo! Seeing Seattle with you guys was amazing! It was just like old times, except with more rain.
And salmon.
Well, the concert starts soon.
Come on, I'd better go get ready.
Performers only.
Oh, I'm a part of Trifecta.
And I'm part of Bell Biv DeVoe.
Miss, no one gets back there except real members of Trifecta.
What makes you think we aren't real members of Trifecta? Well, I've never actually seen the band, but I'm pretty sure it's three girls.
Hey, she may not be all that feminine, but she's a girl.
Hey, look.
If you're Trifecta, then prove it.
Sing that song I heard, Who Dat Party Cat! Uh Five, six, seven! He's the purr-fect guy See him slink on by And when the music hits He gets down like this! Meow, meow! Who dat party cat? Watch me now! Who dat party cat? Meow, meow! Who dat party cat? He's the cat that knows where the party at! where the party at Well, I'm convinced.
You are? I mean, you're darn right you are! I'll be right back.
I want to give you my demo, "Ain't You Heard, Party Bird?" Thanks.
I'd be stuck out here if it weren't for you guys.
That's what friends are for.
And also, in the chorus of "Who Dat Party Cat," it's not turn, kick, turn.
It's turn, turn, kick, kitty swipe.
How are you in Trifecta and not me? Hey, maybe you guys can be! We could become Fivefecta! Just think about it! We could go on the road together! Fletcher, I'll even let you have the top bunk! Olive and I have to go back to school.
I know.
I just miss you guys so much.
Spending time with you today reminded me how hard it is not to have you guys around every day.
I wish you guys didn't have to leave.
We miss you, too.
I can't find the demo, but, look, I'm gonna sing it for you.
You know, ain't you heard, party bird? Ain't you heard, party bird? Tweet, tweet! Move your feet! Tweet, tweet.
Move your feet.
Ah! Ah! Ain't you heard that party bird You guys are such great fans.
And we want to thank you so much for welcoming our new member, Chyna Parks.
Right before the show, Chyna asked if she could try the new song she wrote.
I think you guys are gonna love it.
We do.
I took a step into a new direction Following my heart this time Not my head But everything I'm feeling now I question If I'm wrong, what's next Is there another road that's left Tell me where it is 'cause I can't see it Every bit of faith that I believed in Every single smile has disappeared Now it feels like Someone hid the sun where I can't find it There has to be a world where life is clear But how do I get there from here Oh, 'cause where I am It's just getting too hard to breathe Oh, so hard to breathe, yeah Someone hid the sun where I can't find it There has to be a world where life is clear But how do I get there from here Whoa How do I get there from here? Hello? Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Chyna, you were awesome out there tonight! Yeah.
That new song was great! It could use some kitty swipes, but it was great! We definitely have to play it at our next show.
Where are you going next? San Francisco.
No, no.
We just played San Francisco.
We're going to New York.
No.
You guys are going to New York.
I'm not going.
What? Look, I'm really sorry, guys, this whole thing has been amazing, but I have my whole life to be a star.
Right now, my place is with my friends and family.
I'm going home.
Really? Really.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Wow, Gus.
I thought you liked me.
Like you? I love you! Daddy? Sorry I tricked you, but I couldn't stand being away from you for so long.
Wait.
What about Cameron? Oh, yeah.
I'm sure he's fine.
Wait a minute, Chyna, if you quit, who are we going to get to be the third member of Trifecta? I'll do it! Who are you? My name's Charlene.
I can sing, I can dance, and I've never tried to roast anyone in a lighthouse.
That's just what we're looking for! Right.
I'm sure that will work out.
It'll be nice to be back in the Ant Farm, surrounded by familiar faces.
What's this? Oh, yeah.
We have a new Ant Farm.
And it has a purse hook! Forget that.
All right.
Everybody, out! Come on, come on.
You don't have to go home.
But you can't stay here.
Go.
Move, move, move! Come on.
Move it, people.
Out.
Out.
Tell me it's not true that Chyna's back.
Ow! I'm so sorry, Lexi! I think you broke my nose! My play's tonight! I can't perform like this! No.
Everyone would rather hear me, the beautiful and talented Lexi, sing.
Pass me that guitar, Will Smith! Whoo! But I, the evil Chyna, have no evil powers without my evil guitar.
I'm the real deal I ain't no phony I'm way too hot like spicy pepperoni I may be short, like a Shetland pony But my award-winning moves deserve a Tony Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! You have got to be kidding me! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny!
What I love most about camping are the sounds of nature.
There's no nature.
We're camping out for concert tickets.
I'm still enjoying that beautiful full moon.
That's the search light on a police helicopter.
This is so awesome! I cannot believe we're going to see Trifecta! They're my favorite band! Mine too! I always work out to their music.
Not exercise.
I work out complex mathematical equations.
What was that? Was that a wolf? Stop being so ridiculous.
There are no wolves in downtown San Francisco.
Wacky's ahead of us in line? They only release the first ten rows the day of the concert.
Well, relax.
Who's hungry? I'm making hot dogs! Fletcher, you can't roast a weenie without a fire.
I know.
That's why I'm steaming it over this sewer grate.
Well, camping's not the same without sitting around a warm sewer grate singing traditional sewer grate songs.
I came from San Francisco With a gee-tar on my knee I'm going to see Trifecta my favorite band of three Oh, Trifecta Shut up back there! Oh, Trifecta Won't you sing for me Been waiting seven hours and I really got to pee Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it You got it We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways 365 days We got it We got it You can dream it You can be it If you can feel it You can believe it 'Cause I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Whoo! Well, it's almost dawn.
Looks like we made it through attacked by mountain lions.
Of course we did.
According to and Game recordssh dating back to 1890, there has never been a mountain lion attack within the city limits of San Francisco.
Wow.
The rivalry between the Webster Wolves and the Madison Mountain Lions is really getting out of hand.
Really good seats.
Can you imagine being like ten feet from Trifecta? Ah! Are you feeling any better, Darlene? Mmm-mmm.
Not really.
I told you not to eat that chimichanga you cooked in the bus's tailpipe.
We have a microwave.
Mmm-mmm.
I read those things are dangerous.
Besides, a microwave doesn't give it that same smoky flavor.
Uh-oh.
Need a bathroom.
Not in the bus! Great.
What are we going to do now? Buy a new bus? I mean about the concert.
Darlene is still really sick.
She will not be able to sing and dance tonight.
How are we going to perform without Darlene? She has the voice of an angel.
I need toilet paper! There's a new roll in there.
Not anymore! No one is a bigger Trifecta fan than I am.
I know all their dance moves and all the words to their songs.
Go! Goooo Gooo Goooo Go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go go go Go go go go go Wow.
How did you memorize all those word? That's just the chorus.
There are more words.
You want to hear them? No! I am trying to relax here! Come on, Laurin.
We should go talk to that kid! The mean one on the massage chair? No! The one who can sing! She knows our songs.
She knows our moves.
She even looks a little bit like you.
Uh, excuse me.
Back of the line, sister.
I've been waiting here all night.
I don't think they need tickets.
Yes, we're who you think we are.
This is so exciting.
I'm such a big fan.
Thanks to you, I was finally able to prove Euler's Formula while listening to the house remix of "Who Dat Party Cat.
" Ah, Euler's Formula.
E to the power of the product of the imaginary number and pi equals negative one.
What a classic.
Can we talk to you for a minute? You guys want to talk to me? But I don't want to lose my place in line.
I want to make sure I have a great view of the show.
Oh, you'll have a great view.
You'll be on stage with us! Ooh.
I don't think I can afford those seats.
You won't be sitting.
You'll be singing and dancing.
We want you to fill in for Darlene! Me? Perform with Trifecta? Chyna? Are you okay? Did you see a bear? Can you believe you're actually going to be singing with Trifecta tonight? I know know know know know know know know know know know! So who are you going to give your ticket to? Ooh.
How about Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe? Ooh.
Or that guy with the 'Fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro? Check it out.
I got the two best tickets for the Trifecta concert.
Those are good, but I think Chyna's going to be way closer to the band than you.
That's impossible.
These are front row tickets.
Oh! Cool! It'll be nice to see a familiar face while I'm performing.
Performing? Yep.
I'm filling in for Darlene and singing with Trifecta tonight! You have got to be kidding me! I spent $400 on tickets to see you sing? I see that every day for free! Ugh! Out of my way, Joe! Just try to relax.
I know there are a lot of people here, but it's going to go fine.
I know.
I'm just so nervous for Chyna! Here.
Breathe into this.
How is that going to help? Oh, it won't.
But I figured since you were hyperventilating, you could inflate my beach ball.
I'm going to bat it around during the show.
Yep.
I'm going to be that guy.
Go! Goooo goooo goooo Go go go! Goooo goooo goooo Go go Everywhere I go I hear the echo of a roar that keeps rising On the horizon, yeah Walking down the street I feel the energy the world is demanding The spaceship has landed Now there's no going back Back back back back back No there's no going back Back back back back back Now there's no going back Back back back back back No, there's no going back back back back back back I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no That's my best friend.
Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die! Don't be scared just go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Don't think about it go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go Who needs tickets? Cheap! Shine under the pressure Cause the way we deal with it will define us Pressure makes diamonds Now there's no going back Back back back back back No there's no going back Back back back back I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die Don't be scared just go Go go go go go Go go go go go Go go go go go Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go Stop it! Why do I go to concerts with you guys? I feel it in the air tonight I'm seeing a light In the dark ignited And no one's stopping me now I'm living my dream And you're all invited.
I don't see red lights I just see go I don't do stop signs I don't hear no Jump and don't look down That's how you fly There's no turning back now It's win or you die Don't be scared just go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go, go Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go, go Go where you go Go where you go Go where you go, go Go where you go Go, go, go Goooo Goooo Goooo Go, go, go What's everyone so happy about? Is it macaroni and beef day? Hey, Chyna! It's me Paisley! Paisley Houndstooth! We went to school together before you were famous.
Paisley, that was yesterday.
It does feel like yesterday.
She remembers me! Hey, what are you guys doing? You don't have to let me go to the front of the line.
I'm still the same Chyna.
Shh.
It is macaroni and beef day and there's never enough to go around.
Watch out! Famous celebrity and her entourage coming through! Guys, relax.
Last night was really cool, but it was just a one time thing.
I do not need special treatment.
Although decent treatment would be nice.
Psst.
Chyna? Syerra? Laurin? What are you guys doing here? And why are you dressed like that? This is what we wear when we're out in public, so we don't get mobbed.
Look who's here! Two nobodies trying to horn in on our macaroni and beef! Let's get 'em! Relax! They don't even like macaroni and beef.
They don't like macaroni and beef? Let's get 'em! Yeah! I mean, they had macaroni and beef before they came.
They have their own stash of macaroni and beef? Let's get 'em! Yeah! Did I say macaroni and beef? I meant beef and macaroni.
Oh! Anyway, it turns out Darlene had a lot of time to think while she was on the toilet.
And she decided to quit Trifecta.
For good.
What? Trifecta can't break up! Track five on your third album is Together Forever.
We're not breaking up.
We're just getting a new member.
You.
What? You were so good last night no one even missed Darlene.
So we want you to leave school and go on tour with us! You want Chyna to leave school? And go on tour with them.
Yes! I'm in Trifecta! I'm in Trifecta! Did you guys hear that? I'm in Trifecta! Hey! There's my megastar! Thanks, Dad.
No, I meant my Megastar universal remote I bought.
It controls the TV and the DVR! Mmm! But you were incredible! I'm so proud of you! I brought you something from school.
Is this macaroni and beef? What do you want? Nothing.
I was just wondering if.
I could go on a little trip with a couple of friends.
Well, where would you guys be going? These places.
Trifecta asked me to join the band and go on tour with them.
What? I thought this was a one time thing.
Well, it was supposed to be, but Darlene quit.
Now they want to make me a permanent member.
Isn't that exciting? And only exciting, and not at all a problem in any kind of way? Well, aren't you going to say something? Come on, say something.
Anything.
Okay.
No, you can't go.
Absolutely not.
Okay, um, come to think of it, don't say anything.
Just take your time.
Mull it over, perhaps while eating some delicious macaroni and beef, which, uh, keep in mind, I brought you so you kind of owe me one now.
Chyna, you're 13 years old.
I know, but, I'll be completely supervised, I'll have a full-time tutor, and I'll be a Trifecta! But all the places on this shirt are far away.
Can't you guys just tour the neighborhood? I know it's a big step, Dad, but this is everything I've ever wanted.
You always say we should follow our dreams.
Yeah, but I meant the kind of dreams I have.
Like last night.
I had a dream that I put bacon on my cereal.
And then this morning, I lived my dream.
Not the type of dreams that would take my little girl far away from me.
I'd really miss you too, Dad, but this is the chance of a lifetime.
Please.
Well, I'll have to ask your mom, but Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hey! I did not say yes yet.
But if this is what you want, I'll support you.
I love you so much! I love you, too.
That's why I'm not letting go of you until you get on that bus.
Surprise! That's so sweet! I can't believe you guys threw a farewell party for me! Oh, we didn't.
She did.
I've been planning it since the day you showed up at this school.
Finally a chance to use these "Good riddance Chyna" balloons! Oh, Lexi.
I'm going to miss you least of all.
You're going to miss me? Chyna, I know it's silly, but now that you're famous and all, can I get your autograph before you leave? Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Ha! You just signed an iron-clad, binding contract that says you will never leave Webster High! Plus we're now legally married in the Bahamas.
Fletcher, this is a geography test you got a D on.
My mom was supposed to sign that one.
I can't believe I'm not gonna see you guys for almost a year.
Punch me in the face.
What? Punch me in the face! Why would I punch you in the face? Because I'm not gonna miss some jerk who punches me in the face! Olive, I'm not going to punch you in the face.
Of course not! You would never do that to me.
That's why I'm going to miss you so much! I'll punch you in the face.
Stay out of this, Fletcher! Maybe I could come with you.
Do you guys need any backup dancers? Look, I'm really going to miss you guys, too.
But we'll video chat every day.
We have our A.
N.
T.
Pads! Actually, that's school property.
And as school supply monitor, I'm gonna need to confiscate that.
Ah.
Here, take it.
I won't tell.
Come on, guys, it's time for cake! "I thought you'd never leave.
" Aw.
How sweet.
It's made with coconut.
You hate coconut, right? Welcome to your home for the next year! Come on.
We will show you around while Gus gets your bags.
He's our new bus driver.
I can't believe our last bus driver quit.
We wrote "Together Forever" about him.
Don't worry about me texting and driving, because I do not know what texting is.
So, Chyna, what do you think? This place is awesome! Video games, a recording studio Ooh, what's in here? That's the bathroom.
But, I wouldn't go in there.
It's still recovering from Darlene.
But don't worry.
We've got this scented candle.
So, there's a living room, a kitchen, and three bedrooms.
Ooh! Can I please have the top bunk? Yes! Am I going to fall out every time the bus turns? Yes! What's in this thing? Fletcher? This happens all the time.
Crazed fans trying to sneak on the bus.
That's why we both study ju-jitsu! Hi-yah! No.
No, no, no, no.
Wow.
That ju-jitsu really works.
And we've only had one lesson.
How to yell "hi-yah" and pose like this Why are you gift wrapping the hallways? They're posters for the school play.
We already had the school play.
Chyna was the lead and you were the lead usher.
I remember your big line.
"Who cares? Just sit anywhere!" I don't care if we already did a school play! We're doing another one! Chyna's gone and I finally get to be the star and not her! Actually, now that she's in Trifecta, she's a bigger star than ever.
Shut up, we're doing a play! Well, looks like Chyna and I aren't going to be together anytime soon, so I guess it's time to move on to my second choice.
Uh, you better not be looking at me.
I said second choice, not zombie apocalypse and you and I are the last humans alive choice.
What are those big kids doing in here? I don't know.
What do we do? Don't look at me.
Obviously I'm not looking at you.
Didn't you hear what I said in the hallway? I mean Chyna was the one who always handled these kind of things.
Relax.
I'll take care of it.
Excuse me, is there something you need? I did not expect him to say an "ottoman.
" While I find this demeaning, I am somewhat impressed by their vocabulary.
That autograph signing was really fun! Eventually my hand will stop, right? Guys, here is our itinerary.
We're going to hit 38 cities in the U.
S.
and Canada.
Then we're off to Europe, Asia, and South America.
Whoa.
Don't you guys think we're moving too fast? Hey, baby, that's the life of a pop star! No, I mean the bus.
Something's not right.
Gus, what's going on? The gas pedal's stuck and the brakes aren't working! What? How are we going to stop? Probably by landing in whatever's at the bottom of that ravine.
I thought this bus was state-of-the art! How could this happen? Cut me from the band? I'll cut your brakes! We're going to die! We're going to die! At least steer! Oh, yeah, right.
Hi, Chyna! Guys, I can't talk right now! We have a little problem and could use your advice.
This is really not a good time! Oh, sorry.
I guess you're too busy to talk to commoners like us.
No, no, no.
You don't understand! We're in the fast lane and we can't stop! We get it.
You're famous! We just wanted to ask you Seriously! I'm going to have to call you back! That's it.
We're going to drive into that ravine, plummet to the bottom, and explode into a ball of fire! That's crazy! The cover of this month's Teeny BoppMagazine says.
"Trifecta's on Fire!" How do they know these things are going to happen? Gus! Does this bus have an emergency exit? Yes, in the back! Well, open it up! But we're only supposed to open it in case of an emergency.
I think this qualifies.
Now come on.
It's time to go! Sorry, Trifecta! Looks like this is the final stop on your tour! That was awesome, Chyna! We made it! Incredible.
Look at this issue of Teeny Bopper.
"Trifecta Has Made It!" I wonder what's going to happen to us next.
I feel like we left someone on the bus.
Gus! That was a heck of a jump! Gus, you're okay! I discovered the bus had an emergency brake! I also discovered the headlights had a disco mode.
Step right up! Get 'em while they're hot! Hey, Lexi.
How's your bake sale going? These cookies don't look very good.
Those are tickets to my play! Oh.
I wish I hadn't eaten four of them when your back was turned.
I don't understand why no one's buying tickets.
Lexi: The Musical is the riveting story of the prettiest girl in school, tormented by the arrival of an evil so-called musical prodigy.
I wrote it myself.
It's probably because everyone's already busy Friday night.
Doing what? Going to the R.
O.
F.
L.
concert.
I bought two tickets.
What's R.
O.
F.
L? Cameron and Angus's electropop party band.
R.
O.
F.
L.
is in the house tonight! Everyone's gonna have a moderately decent time! I never thought I'd miss being an ottoman.
What are you complaining about? You got the salsa hat! I've got hot cheese! Ah.
I wish Chyna were here.
She'd know how to deal with this.
And even if she didn't, she smells pretty.
You know what? You're right.
Maybe what's required here is a woman's touch.
Where are we going to get a woman? I'm talking about me! Watch this.
Hey there, boys.
Would you mind sitting somewhere else? I need a place to rest my gluteal muscles and my sacrotuberous ligament.
Please, guys.
We need a place to work on our talents just like you need your basketball chamber or your football patch.
Well, the new Ant Farm is definitely cozier.
It's a janitor's closet.
Ow.
My sacrotuberous ligament.
Dye! Dye! Dye! This hair salon video game is really cool.
Yeah, well time to turn up the heat and blow you away! Thank you! My character's bangs look super cute now! Life on the road's pretty fun, when you're not barreling towards a fiery death.
I can't wait for our next show.
Yeah, speaking of which, shouldn't we be in Portland already? Looks like we're at some lighthouse.
I think we're lost.
Too bad Olive's not here.
She'd know exactly where we are, as well as the name of the lighthouse, what year it was built, who designed it, and whether the gift shop has kettle corn.
She loves kettle corn.
Gus, have you been following the GPS? The what? I'm just following this sweet sounding lady that keeps telling me where to go.
Left turn ahead.
Whatever you say, baby.
Maybe there's someone here who can give us directions.
Hello? Huh.
Do either of you have a spare - Ow! - Ow! Syerra? Laurin? Are you guys okay? Ow! What happened? I think someone knocked us out.
Hey look! There's a smart one in the group now.
Darlene! Thank goodness you're here! And it's obviously not you.
Darlene? You did this? Why? Because you stole my spot in Trifecta! I didn't steal anything.
These guys told me you thought about it on the toilet and decided to leave the group.
Well, that is where I make a lot of my life-changing decisions.
But why would I willingly give up the life of a pop star? To become a peaceful lighthouse keeper in Oregon? Who in their right mind would take a job in a building with 4,000 stairs? You guys lied to me! We did not lie to you! We would never lie to you! Are you lying to me right now about lying to me? Yes.
Darlene didn't quit.
We fired her because she's always really passive-aggressive.
Oh, well, she seems to have fixed that.
Now she's aggressive-aggressive! Anyway, I had another idea while I was on the toilet reprogramming your GPS.
Right turn ahead.
Left turn ahead.
You have reached your final destination.
Wait, you should be happy they kicked you out of Trifecta! Because the day after you left, somebody cut the brakes on our bus! Oh.
I'm the real deal, I ain't no phony I'm way too hot, like, spicy pepperoni I may be short, like a Shetland pony But my award-winning moves deserve a Tony Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Try to look me up, but you can't define me! Gots to go, gots to shake my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my, my heiny Ooh, I'm shakin' my What are you doing? Shakin' my heiny? I mean, putting on a concert Friday night! That's the night of my play! With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine! No.
With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine.
Plus chicks are going to be breaking down our door.
Yeah, from the inside, trying to escape.
Take it from me.
Girls don't like guys in bands.
They like guys in show-stopping musicals.
They do? Hmm.
If we cancel our concert, can we be in your play? Sure.
You can be Angus.
I don't know.
Angus is funny, but he seems more like a side character.
I want to play the lead.
Chyna! Chyna is not the Fine! You can be Chyna! And I suppose you want to play Will Smith.
Whoo! What would Will Smith be doing at Webster? I don't know.
That's for the writer to figure out.
Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny What are you going to do to us? Remember how I wanted a rotisserie on the bus and you said no? Well, guess what? Now you chicks are getting roasted! How are you laughing? I'm not.
That's my ring tone.
Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Help! Help! This crazy girl is trying to kill us! Oh, that? We're just rehearsing a new song called.
"Help! Help! This Crazy Girl Is Trying to Kill Us!" Now what? Maybe we can use this light to signal for some help.
Like in Gotham City, when they used the bat signal.
We just need to make our bodies into the shape of a bat.
Oh.
Or we could make a bunny rabbit! Ooh, I like that! Bunnies are much cuter! One problem.
There's no bunny superhero! Stop right there! Bunny Man? Excuse me, do you mind? I'm trying to roast these people.
Get her, Bunny Man! Actually, I'm just the lighthouse keeper.
Then why are you dressed like a bunny? I'm in the middle of a race with a tortoise.
But don't worry, I have plenty of time to find out what you guys are up to.
Now I will free these girls! I may not be a superhero, but there's one thing I detest! Injustice.
Smudges on my light.
I must hop off into the night.
I have a carrot cake in the oven.
Now it's time to say goodbye to Trifecta, because I'm going solo! Oh, yeah, well, I think you need to clean up your act! Well, good thing I got her those swimming lessons for Secret Santa.
Oh, no! Do you think she saw a shark? That wasn't a scream.
That was my ringtone.
Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Chyna, you got your first piece of fan mail.
And you're on the cover of Teeny Bopper magazine.
"Trifecta's Newest Member Gets.
"First Piece of Fan Mail.
" Wow, this magazine knows their stuff.
And this postcard is from Olive and Fletcher, my best friends! We know.
We read the article.
And the postcard.
Dear Chyna.
It's me, Olive.
And Fletcher! By the time you get this, you should be well on your way to Seattle.
By the way, I hope you had an opportunity to stop at Oregon's beautiful Tillamook Rock Lighthouse, built in 1881, under the leadership of George Lewis Gillespie, Jr.
Its gift shop has delicious kettle corn, popped fresh by a delightful but eccentric lighthouse keeper in a bunny suit.
Unbelievable! Olive took up all the space! I barely have any room to write "I love" Hmm.
I wonder what he loves.
I miss those guys so much.
I'm going to call them! Okay.
Sure, the janitor kicked us out, but the new Ant Farm has this great purse hook.
Yeah, and a toilet.
This is my first day here.
Is it always like this? That's Chyna's ring tone! I can't reach my A.
N.
T.
Pad.
It's in my backpack! Will anyone with a free hand, reach into Fletcher's backpack! Hey! You with the cold hands.
That is not my backpack! My first day keeps getting worse.
Hey, hey, I've got it! Oh, no! The toilet's auto flush! No one move! Hey, guys.
Why did you have to come into the Ant Farm now? Ant Farm? Is everything okay? I keep trying, but I can't reach my best friends.
I used to talk to them all day at school, and then more when I got home.
But I haven't even spoken to them once since I left.
Life on the road isn't easy, is it? No.
I guess I was just so excited when Syerra and Laurin asked me to join Trifecta that I didn't really think about what I'd be giving up.
My friends, my family.
Mmm.
I even miss my brother.
What should I do, Gus? Well, you need to listen to your heart.
Unless, like mine, it's saying, "Please stop eating bacon.
" That's just crazy talk.
Sold out? Well, that's a bit harsh.
I mean I know they're extremely commercial, but I wouldn't say Trifecta's sold out.
The tickets are sold out! I told you we should have checked before we flew to Seattle to see Chyna.
This is all your fault.
Just because I said.
"Don't worry.
There's no way there won't be tickets.
"Let's fly to Seattle without checking," suddenly this is my fault? Olive! Fletcher! What are you guys doing here? We came to see you, Chyna! And you guys, too.
But really just you.
Well, I've missed you both so much! I have a few hours till the show.
We can hang out.
We should check out Seattle's famous Pike's Place Market, where the fishmongers are famous for throwing giant salmon.
I wonder if it's near here.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's near here.
Okay, let's rehearse the climactic scene where our heroine, the beautiful and talented Lexi, has her party ruined by the evil Chyna.
And begin.
I, the evil Chyna, will now intentionally ruin Lexi's party by destroying her stereo! Paisley! That's your line! Yeah, I have some questions about this Paisley character.
She seems really dumb.
It doesn't seem believable.
Oh, it's believable.
And why is she friends with Lexi? Lexi seems so full of herself.
Lexi is not full of herself! Now can we please go back to rehearsing.
"Lexi: The Musical" starring Lexi! Yeah! Let's do this Will Smith Style! Whoo! If you all want music, I, the evil Chyna, can play something.
Just as I'd planned from the beginning.
No.
Everyone would rather hear the beautiful and talented Lexi sing, right? The script says "murmur in agreement!" So murmur in agreement! Well, if you all insist.
I'll give them a performance they'll never forget.
They will if I use this neuralyzer.
Just stick to the script! Okay.
Whoo! Seeing Seattle with you guys was amazing! It was just like old times, except with more rain.
And salmon.
Well, the concert starts soon.
Come on, I'd better go get ready.
Performers only.
Oh, I'm a part of Trifecta.
And I'm part of Bell Biv DeVoe.
Miss, no one gets back there except real members of Trifecta.
What makes you think we aren't real members of Trifecta? Well, I've never actually seen the band, but I'm pretty sure it's three girls.
Hey, she may not be all that feminine, but she's a girl.
Hey, look.
If you're Trifecta, then prove it.
Sing that song I heard, Who Dat Party Cat! Uh Five, six, seven! He's the purr-fect guy See him slink on by And when the music hits He gets down like this! Meow, meow! Who dat party cat? Watch me now! Who dat party cat? Meow, meow! Who dat party cat? He's the cat that knows where the party at! where the party at Well, I'm convinced.
You are? I mean, you're darn right you are! I'll be right back.
I want to give you my demo, "Ain't You Heard, Party Bird?" Thanks.
I'd be stuck out here if it weren't for you guys.
That's what friends are for.
And also, in the chorus of "Who Dat Party Cat," it's not turn, kick, turn.
It's turn, turn, kick, kitty swipe.
How are you in Trifecta and not me? Hey, maybe you guys can be! We could become Fivefecta! Just think about it! We could go on the road together! Fletcher, I'll even let you have the top bunk! Olive and I have to go back to school.
I know.
I just miss you guys so much.
Spending time with you today reminded me how hard it is not to have you guys around every day.
I wish you guys didn't have to leave.
We miss you, too.
I can't find the demo, but, look, I'm gonna sing it for you.
You know, ain't you heard, party bird? Ain't you heard, party bird? Tweet, tweet! Move your feet! Tweet, tweet.
Move your feet.
Ah! Ah! Ain't you heard that party bird You guys are such great fans.
And we want to thank you so much for welcoming our new member, Chyna Parks.
Right before the show, Chyna asked if she could try the new song she wrote.
I think you guys are gonna love it.
We do.
I took a step into a new direction Following my heart this time Not my head But everything I'm feeling now I question If I'm wrong, what's next Is there another road that's left Tell me where it is 'cause I can't see it Every bit of faith that I believed in Every single smile has disappeared Now it feels like Someone hid the sun where I can't find it There has to be a world where life is clear But how do I get there from here Oh, 'cause where I am It's just getting too hard to breathe Oh, so hard to breathe, yeah Someone hid the sun where I can't find it There has to be a world where life is clear But how do I get there from here Whoa How do I get there from here? Hello? Hi, Mom! Nothing.
Chyna, you were awesome out there tonight! Yeah.
That new song was great! It could use some kitty swipes, but it was great! We definitely have to play it at our next show.
Where are you going next? San Francisco.
No, no.
We just played San Francisco.
We're going to New York.
No.
You guys are going to New York.
I'm not going.
What? Look, I'm really sorry, guys, this whole thing has been amazing, but I have my whole life to be a star.
Right now, my place is with my friends and family.
I'm going home.
Really? Really.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Wow, Gus.
I thought you liked me.
Like you? I love you! Daddy? Sorry I tricked you, but I couldn't stand being away from you for so long.
Wait.
What about Cameron? Oh, yeah.
I'm sure he's fine.
Wait a minute, Chyna, if you quit, who are we going to get to be the third member of Trifecta? I'll do it! Who are you? My name's Charlene.
I can sing, I can dance, and I've never tried to roast anyone in a lighthouse.
That's just what we're looking for! Right.
I'm sure that will work out.
It'll be nice to be back in the Ant Farm, surrounded by familiar faces.
What's this? Oh, yeah.
We have a new Ant Farm.
And it has a purse hook! Forget that.
All right.
Everybody, out! Come on, come on.
You don't have to go home.
But you can't stay here.
Go.
Move, move, move! Come on.
Move it, people.
Out.
Out.
Tell me it's not true that Chyna's back.
Ow! I'm so sorry, Lexi! I think you broke my nose! My play's tonight! I can't perform like this! No.
Everyone would rather hear me, the beautiful and talented Lexi, sing.
Pass me that guitar, Will Smith! Whoo! But I, the evil Chyna, have no evil powers without my evil guitar.
I'm the real deal I ain't no phony I'm way too hot like spicy pepperoni I may be short, like a Shetland pony But my award-winning moves deserve a Tony Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! You have got to be kidding me! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny!