Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s01e11 Episode Script
Finn The Wizard
[mouse squeaks .]
[penguins chirp .]
[all cheering .]
[screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end lt's Adventure Time Hey, Jake? Yeah? You ever wonder what a demon's heart looks like? Of course, dude.
You ever wonder what a demon's heart tastes like? EVlL VOlCE: Hey, kid, you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free.
Heck yeah! Wait! Let's not be too rash.
Just look at this guy.
Check out the sunken, lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay.
You know what that means? lt means he's evil, l guess.
Well, evil, sure, but mostly, he's unattractive, and unattractive people are desperate.
You should haggle with him.
Hey, l want more than just free powers.
What else you got? All right.
Free magical powers and [cracking .]
and this keychain.
Oh, oh, oh! Play it cool, Finn.
Right.
l begrudgingly accept your offer.
Yes! Then the deal is struck.
[laughs evilly .]
You can pick up your powers right through that door.
This way.
[wind howling .]
[pbht! .]
[grunts .]
This place looks magical.
You think this is where we get the powers? Yes, l do.
Free powers for all.
Want some? Yeah! Are you the guy handing them out? You seek Bufo the Wizard.
So, where is that guy? He is here, of course.
Uh He's here? But he's not you? That's right.
We should beat him up until he starts making sense.
[groans .]
ALL: We are Bufo.
Oh! ALL: So So ALL: you wish to be inducted into the ancient -- ancient order -- Dang it, Leonard.
lf we don't talk at the same time, nobody can understand us.
Sorry.
Geez.
ALL: Ahem! So, you want free wizard powers, powers likethese! [laughs .]
Yeah! Yeah! BOTH: We want them.
Give us the stuff.
- Yes, we do.
- Can't wait.
ALL: Then follow me.
BOTH: Whoo-hoo! ALL: Behold the grand hall of wizardry.
This is where young potentials train to become ultimate wizards.
But most are not ready for the responsibility that comes with it.
l'm responsible, dude.
So am l.
That's a lie.
lt is a lie.
And l take full responsibility for it.
ALL: Yes, yes, very responsible.
Now l bestow upon you these wizard cloaks! BOTH: Whoa! Hey, this is a dress.
Yeah.
And l am into it.
lt's like gossamer.
[grunting .]
This way, l won't be embarrassed.
ALL: Fine, fine.
Now, for every power that you accrue, you shall receive a star badge like these.
This final star betokens the rank of ultimate wizard.
BOTH: Whoa! Mark me, Jake.
l shall have that final star.
Where do we start? ALL: Level 1 -- Dustomancy.
Yeah! Dustomancy, whatever that is.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! ALL: To receive this power, you must first eat these brooms.
[zip! Zip! .]
All right.
[gags .]
Wait.
[spits .]
This is gross.
Man, l can't eat this.
Yeah, you can.
Do what l do.
[growls .]
Ahh! [gulps .]
[squeak! .]
Oops.
Ah, there we go.
[both gasp .]
Whoa, you got a star.
[chuckles .]
Observe my magics.
Wait, Jake.
Don't use them until l finish my broom.
[growling .]
[gulps .]
Lastbite.
[gulps .]
Dude, you got your star, too.
We're Dustomancers! [grunts .]
Nothing happened.
This is a total rip-off.
Bufo, you tricked us.
Stupid power doesn't even work.
ALL: Calm yourself, boy.
You are acting hysterical.
Do you not see that you are using Dustomancy? Behold.
l'm doing this? So l have -- ALL: Yes! Mastery over all dust motes.
You can also read their emotions.
For instance, this mote is very unhappy in his marriage.
That'ssort of cool.
Sort of cool? This is radical! Whoo, yeah! Force that enthusiasm.
ALL: Are you ready for more magic? We get more? ALL: So much more.
Like level 2 -- the power of shadowcery.
You can't see through those, right? Nope, not at all.
ALL: To gain provenance over the shadows, place your hands into this bowl.
What bowl? ALL: No! Cover your eyes! [groans .]
Fine.
ALL: Thrust your hands into this bowlof eyeballs.
Eyeballs?! Dude, it's okay.
They're just peeled grapes.
ALL: No! They're eyeballs.
[giggle .]
Yuck! ALL: Well done.
You have groped the eyeballs fearlessly.
Another star! Yeah! Shadowcery.
[horse neighs, grunts .]
Onward, my shadow steed.
Huh? No touchies.
Wizard powers are so cool.
l want all the star badges! ALL: Excellent.
[laughs .]
[cling! cling! cling! .]
ALL: Well done.
[laughs .]
[both gulping .]
[whoosh! .]
[mumbles .]
[whoosh! whoosh! .]
[shing! .]
All we're missing now is the big star.
You ready to complete the set, man? Nah, l'm good.
What?! How can you stop now? Eh, l got everything l need -- a limitless supply of mayonnaise, this captivating new hairstyle, and l just learned the best spell of all.
What's that? Sleep.
[snoring .]
Aw, what a lame-o.
Bufo, l'm ready to get that big star.
ALL: To tell true, the last power is not free.
Wha? You can't do this to me, man.
l've got no money.
ALL: No.
No cash.
For the final star, you must takethe pledge of ultimate responsibility.
Okay, l'll take that pledge.
ALL: Are you sure? Perhaps you are not sufficiently familiar with -- l'm ready.
ALL: Well, there may be ramifications that you cannot -- just let me take that pledge, man! ALL: My word, l've never met someone so irresponsibly responsible.
Very well, then.
You mustgraspmy hand.
That's it? Easy.
Whoa! [groans .]
Huh? [gasps .]
My big star! Yes! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Wait.
Where am l? ALL: Direct your attention to the scale-model orb.
Huh? ls that an asteroid heading for this very temple? ALL: Yes.
lt's been heading for this temple for 847 years.
Only the magic of the ultimate wizards keeps it from getting any closer.
Quickly, add your power to that of the orb.
Oh, okay.
Whoa! l got it.
Now what? ALL: Now l release the elder Jeremy from his pledge.
Razzamafoo! lt's about time.
ALL: And you take his place for the rest of your natural life.
Awesome.
Wait.
What? ALL: This is what you signed up for when you took the pledge of ultimate responsibility.
This is what all the wizard training was about? You tricked me! Young wizard! The asteroid approaches.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
[warble! Warble! .]
ALL: l tricked you, of course, but would anyone ever volunteer to do this? l'm out.
Aw, man, this sucks.
[groans .]
Old people, there's got to be a better way.
Nope.
This is how the ancient ones wanted it.
Yeah? l got a younger idea.
[grunts .]
You fool! Your newfangled thinking will get us all killed! Youth culture forever! Whoa! ALL: Hey, have you gone crazy? Get back in the bouncy harness.
Sleep.
ALL: You are -- [moans .]
[snoring .]
Ultimate wizardry, activate! Uhhmm.
Maybe my footing's off? There you go.
l cast dragon eyes tiger claw vorpal hand blazing feet beauteous wings and finally, every other power l didn't mention by name! With all my magics combined, l'm powerful enough to move the entire village out of the asteroid's path.
[straining .]
[snoring .]
[straining continues .]
[gasps .]
l need some help.
Jake, awaken! Reflect.
Hey, l'm alive.
What's that up there? [gasps .]
Oh, no! Aw, my stupid young idea will be responsible for hundreds of deaths.
lt sure will.
Huh? Old wizards, you ditched your responsibilities to help me.
What?! No! We left so we wouldn't be killed by that asteroid.
Oh, okay.
Um, since you're here already, can you lend me a hand? [all straining .]
[zip! whoosh! .]
[snores .]
[whoosh! .]
Huh? Whoo-hoo! Nice job.
Thanks to us, the village is saved, and we reclaimed a few of your twilight years.
ALL: Don't forget to thank me, for this was my plan for all of these 847 years.
No way.
Your plan was to dupe a succession of rubes into keeping the asteroid at bay.
ALL: Perhaps you're right.
No more giving out free powers.
l hereby renounce all magic.
[sniffles, cries.]
My life is over!! Chill, man.
You don't have to quit your job.
ALL: l don't? Nah, just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours.
ALL: Oh.
Okay.
Good idea.
Glad l thought of it.
EVlL VOlCE: Hey, naked kid, you want some freedemon heart? Full circle! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree
[penguins chirp .]
[all cheering .]
[screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end lt's Adventure Time Hey, Jake? Yeah? You ever wonder what a demon's heart looks like? Of course, dude.
You ever wonder what a demon's heart tastes like? EVlL VOlCE: Hey, kid, you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free.
Heck yeah! Wait! Let's not be too rash.
Just look at this guy.
Check out the sunken, lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay.
You know what that means? lt means he's evil, l guess.
Well, evil, sure, but mostly, he's unattractive, and unattractive people are desperate.
You should haggle with him.
Hey, l want more than just free powers.
What else you got? All right.
Free magical powers and [cracking .]
and this keychain.
Oh, oh, oh! Play it cool, Finn.
Right.
l begrudgingly accept your offer.
Yes! Then the deal is struck.
[laughs evilly .]
You can pick up your powers right through that door.
This way.
[wind howling .]
[pbht! .]
[grunts .]
This place looks magical.
You think this is where we get the powers? Yes, l do.
Free powers for all.
Want some? Yeah! Are you the guy handing them out? You seek Bufo the Wizard.
So, where is that guy? He is here, of course.
Uh He's here? But he's not you? That's right.
We should beat him up until he starts making sense.
[groans .]
ALL: We are Bufo.
Oh! ALL: So So ALL: you wish to be inducted into the ancient -- ancient order -- Dang it, Leonard.
lf we don't talk at the same time, nobody can understand us.
Sorry.
Geez.
ALL: Ahem! So, you want free wizard powers, powers likethese! [laughs .]
Yeah! Yeah! BOTH: We want them.
Give us the stuff.
- Yes, we do.
- Can't wait.
ALL: Then follow me.
BOTH: Whoo-hoo! ALL: Behold the grand hall of wizardry.
This is where young potentials train to become ultimate wizards.
But most are not ready for the responsibility that comes with it.
l'm responsible, dude.
So am l.
That's a lie.
lt is a lie.
And l take full responsibility for it.
ALL: Yes, yes, very responsible.
Now l bestow upon you these wizard cloaks! BOTH: Whoa! Hey, this is a dress.
Yeah.
And l am into it.
lt's like gossamer.
[grunting .]
This way, l won't be embarrassed.
ALL: Fine, fine.
Now, for every power that you accrue, you shall receive a star badge like these.
This final star betokens the rank of ultimate wizard.
BOTH: Whoa! Mark me, Jake.
l shall have that final star.
Where do we start? ALL: Level 1 -- Dustomancy.
Yeah! Dustomancy, whatever that is.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! ALL: To receive this power, you must first eat these brooms.
[zip! Zip! .]
All right.
[gags .]
Wait.
[spits .]
This is gross.
Man, l can't eat this.
Yeah, you can.
Do what l do.
[growls .]
Ahh! [gulps .]
[squeak! .]
Oops.
Ah, there we go.
[both gasp .]
Whoa, you got a star.
[chuckles .]
Observe my magics.
Wait, Jake.
Don't use them until l finish my broom.
[growling .]
[gulps .]
Lastbite.
[gulps .]
Dude, you got your star, too.
We're Dustomancers! [grunts .]
Nothing happened.
This is a total rip-off.
Bufo, you tricked us.
Stupid power doesn't even work.
ALL: Calm yourself, boy.
You are acting hysterical.
Do you not see that you are using Dustomancy? Behold.
l'm doing this? So l have -- ALL: Yes! Mastery over all dust motes.
You can also read their emotions.
For instance, this mote is very unhappy in his marriage.
That'ssort of cool.
Sort of cool? This is radical! Whoo, yeah! Force that enthusiasm.
ALL: Are you ready for more magic? We get more? ALL: So much more.
Like level 2 -- the power of shadowcery.
You can't see through those, right? Nope, not at all.
ALL: To gain provenance over the shadows, place your hands into this bowl.
What bowl? ALL: No! Cover your eyes! [groans .]
Fine.
ALL: Thrust your hands into this bowlof eyeballs.
Eyeballs?! Dude, it's okay.
They're just peeled grapes.
ALL: No! They're eyeballs.
[giggle .]
Yuck! ALL: Well done.
You have groped the eyeballs fearlessly.
Another star! Yeah! Shadowcery.
[horse neighs, grunts .]
Onward, my shadow steed.
Huh? No touchies.
Wizard powers are so cool.
l want all the star badges! ALL: Excellent.
[laughs .]
[cling! cling! cling! .]
ALL: Well done.
[laughs .]
[both gulping .]
[whoosh! .]
[mumbles .]
[whoosh! whoosh! .]
[shing! .]
All we're missing now is the big star.
You ready to complete the set, man? Nah, l'm good.
What?! How can you stop now? Eh, l got everything l need -- a limitless supply of mayonnaise, this captivating new hairstyle, and l just learned the best spell of all.
What's that? Sleep.
[snoring .]
Aw, what a lame-o.
Bufo, l'm ready to get that big star.
ALL: To tell true, the last power is not free.
Wha? You can't do this to me, man.
l've got no money.
ALL: No.
No cash.
For the final star, you must takethe pledge of ultimate responsibility.
Okay, l'll take that pledge.
ALL: Are you sure? Perhaps you are not sufficiently familiar with -- l'm ready.
ALL: Well, there may be ramifications that you cannot -- just let me take that pledge, man! ALL: My word, l've never met someone so irresponsibly responsible.
Very well, then.
You mustgraspmy hand.
That's it? Easy.
Whoa! [groans .]
Huh? [gasps .]
My big star! Yes! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Wait.
Where am l? ALL: Direct your attention to the scale-model orb.
Huh? ls that an asteroid heading for this very temple? ALL: Yes.
lt's been heading for this temple for 847 years.
Only the magic of the ultimate wizards keeps it from getting any closer.
Quickly, add your power to that of the orb.
Oh, okay.
Whoa! l got it.
Now what? ALL: Now l release the elder Jeremy from his pledge.
Razzamafoo! lt's about time.
ALL: And you take his place for the rest of your natural life.
Awesome.
Wait.
What? ALL: This is what you signed up for when you took the pledge of ultimate responsibility.
This is what all the wizard training was about? You tricked me! Young wizard! The asteroid approaches.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
[warble! Warble! .]
ALL: l tricked you, of course, but would anyone ever volunteer to do this? l'm out.
Aw, man, this sucks.
[groans .]
Old people, there's got to be a better way.
Nope.
This is how the ancient ones wanted it.
Yeah? l got a younger idea.
[grunts .]
You fool! Your newfangled thinking will get us all killed! Youth culture forever! Whoa! ALL: Hey, have you gone crazy? Get back in the bouncy harness.
Sleep.
ALL: You are -- [moans .]
[snoring .]
Ultimate wizardry, activate! Uhhmm.
Maybe my footing's off? There you go.
l cast dragon eyes tiger claw vorpal hand blazing feet beauteous wings and finally, every other power l didn't mention by name! With all my magics combined, l'm powerful enough to move the entire village out of the asteroid's path.
[straining .]
[snoring .]
[straining continues .]
[gasps .]
l need some help.
Jake, awaken! Reflect.
Hey, l'm alive.
What's that up there? [gasps .]
Oh, no! Aw, my stupid young idea will be responsible for hundreds of deaths.
lt sure will.
Huh? Old wizards, you ditched your responsibilities to help me.
What?! No! We left so we wouldn't be killed by that asteroid.
Oh, okay.
Um, since you're here already, can you lend me a hand? [all straining .]
[zip! whoosh! .]
[snores .]
[whoosh! .]
Huh? Whoo-hoo! Nice job.
Thanks to us, the village is saved, and we reclaimed a few of your twilight years.
ALL: Don't forget to thank me, for this was my plan for all of these 847 years.
No way.
Your plan was to dupe a succession of rubes into keeping the asteroid at bay.
ALL: Perhaps you're right.
No more giving out free powers.
l hereby renounce all magic.
[sniffles, cries.]
My life is over!! Chill, man.
You don't have to quit your job.
ALL: l don't? Nah, just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours.
ALL: Oh.
Okay.
Good idea.
Glad l thought of it.
EVlL VOlCE: Hey, naked kid, you want some freedemon heart? Full circle! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree