Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s02e10 Episode Script
To Cut a Woman's Hair
Hey, Jake, give me some of that apple.
Coming up.
I know what you're thinking about.
Huh? Kissing Princess Bubblegum on the mouth! No, I'm not! And I wouldn't even do that ever.
Yeah, you would.
You're just bad at talking to ladies.
Hmph! Ehggg-uh-ya-uh.
Uh, should I keep going, Mrs.
Yoder? No, Finn, that's plenty.
Thank you.
Okay.
Let us know if you need anything else.
Hyah! You two are heroes! Hunh! Come on, dude.
Hey, do you hear that? She called us heroes.
Yeah, I heard.
Huh? Hey! How's it going?! Ugh! Is that true, what the bird said? You guys are heroes? Why are you hiding in that shrub? Oh, I wasn't hiding.
I'm a Tree Witch.
I can turn into trees and shrubs and bushes and stuff.
Check it out.
Bleh.
So, listen, I need you two heroes to get me a lock of Princess hair.
Why do you need Princess hair? Why? 'Cause I have a balding problem! What, are you blind? Are you blind?! No, we're not blind.
I had no idea.
I didn't know.
Anyway, I need the Princess hair so I can put it on my head.
And then I'll be beautiful.
Oh.
Well, we know lots of Princesses.
Uh, can you, um, give us a minute? Yeah, okay.
Dude, I don't think we should help her.
Why not? 'Cause she's a witch! Maybe she's a good witch.
Her? Are you kidding? Come on, look at her! If she was good, she wouldn't be so ugly.
Are you guys still talking?! So what do we do? Tell her we can't help her 'cause she's ugly? No, man, she'll kill us or put a freaky curse on us or something.
Let me get rid of her with some of my world-famous "smoove" talking.
Hey, sorry about that, girl.
Ahh.
You don't mind if I take a load off, do you? What were you guys talking about? How pretty you are.
Huh? We were just saying someone as pretty as you doesn't even need a full head of hair.
Isn't that right, buddy? Uh, yeah, totally.
Nuh-unh.
Girl, if I didn't already have a G.
F.
, I'd be on you like butter on toast! I don't mind if you have a G.
F.
Oh.
Um Dude, I don't think it's working.
Yeah, I think I'm making things worse.
Ah-ha-ha-ha! Hey.
What? How would you court me? Um Spaghetti dinner? Hmm.
Look, Lady, we can't help you get Princess hair.
Why not? Because we only help when someone's in danger.
Oh! Well, why didn't you say so? Hey, uh, what's -- Yaaah! Hey! There.
Now someone's in danger.
I told you she was evil! Grrrrrr! Yaah! Unh! Oof! What, you forget I'm a witch? Maybe.
Well, maybe you should get me some Princess hair so maybe your friend doesn't get sucked into my bottomless bottom! Nyuh! Get some Princess hair! All right, fine! Wait! Uh, you -- you can't tell anyone why you need it.
What? Why? I don't want anyone to know I have a balding problem.
Okay.
It's Princess Muscles' Castle! Hi, Finn.
Uh, hey, Princess Muscles.
What brings you by? Um, you were the nearest Princess, and I need a lock of your hair.
I understand.
You do? Mm-hmm.
Aah! What are you doing? Trying to give you a hug.
Why? I want hair, not hug! Oh.
I see.
You want to take things slo-o-o-w.
No! I -- I'm here to save you! From your hair! It looks really bad! Cut it off, quick! Of course it looks bad.
If I had beautiful, shiny hair, no one would look at my muscles.
Unh! Hwuh! Come back when you want to get serious about loving me! I am terrible at talking to ladies.
Hmm.
Where's a Princess? Princess? Princess Princess Who's that? It's Lumpy Space Princess.
Does she live in the woods now? G-g-get away from my camp.
I'll cut you! Hrm.
I'm never gonna go back home.
Huh.
Wait.
Does she even have hair? She does! Wellhair is hair.
Oh, my glob.
What the stuff are you doing? Why are you cutting my lumps?! Because they're, uh So -- I knew you liked me.
No! I don't! I-I'm just stopping by because -- Just admit it, Lover Boy! You can't resist me.
Well, if you want these lumps, you got to put a ring on it! Where's my ring?! Aah! I knew you liked me, Finn.
That's why you're running! Get in touch with your feelings, babe! What am I gonna do? Huh? A graveyard? Yes! There's got to be a hairy Princess in there that won't think I'm hitting on her! Princess.
Princess.
Princess? Ugh! Come on! Bingo! "Here lies Princess Beautiful.
She was so beautiful.
" Hey, that's perfect! And sort of macabre.
Oh, well.
Aha! Hi, Finn.
Ohh! What? What are you -- Please stop.
Where's her hair?! Thanks, Finn.
"Here lies Princess beautiful.
She was so beautiful But died of baldness"?! Dang it! I'm gonna look so beautiful.
Invited to all the parties Jake! Jake! I'm sorry, man.
Getting Princess hair is -- is impossible! They all just think I'm in love with them! Ugh! I can't do it.
You're gonna have to spend the rest of your life in this witch's butt.
Noooo! Eh! Quiet down! I'm daydreaming! Dude, if they think you like them, then use that.
Embrace it! Find the least terrible Princess you can, play her some music, cook her a meal, "Smoove" talk her until she likes you.
And then get the hair! Wait.
You mean like go on a date? Marry a Princess if you need to! Just get her hair! Aaaah! Jake! Go get the hair! Okay! Hold on! Princess Bubblegum! Hi, Finn! Uh I need you to come with me! Why? I'm watering right now.
Just come on.
We don't have much time! What is this, Finn? We're gonna have a spaghetti dinner.
Whoa! Really? Where do we sit? Dyaaaaaaah! Um, Finn? Put your butt here! Hurry! Oh.
Hey, Simon, make it romantic.
Ow! Here, shove this in your mouth! It's hot! Finn, I don't understa-- Please, Princess! Just stick it in your mouth! Well, okay.
You're lucky I love spaghetti! Um, Princess Do you like me? Finn, of course I like you.
Really? Yeah! Yes! Now give me some of your hair! Oh, Finn, that's sweet.
Sure, I'll give you some of my hair.
Here.
Take it, you cutie.
Thank you, Princess Bubblegum! My spaghetti! My cat had kittens, and I'm thinking of naming one "Little Whiner.
" What do you think? Is that a good name? Totally did it! Genuine Princess hair.
You hear that, Jake? Just give it to her already! All right, Lady, a deal is a deal.
Ahh! This isn't hair! It's Bubblegum! What?! It is Bubblegum! Well, I guess you failed.
Say goodbye to your dog.
Aaaah! Wait! What? If I learned anything today, it's that I'm awesome at talking to ladies! And, Lady, you are crazy ugly! Wha-a-a-t? Dude! Having beautiful hair isn't gonna get you anywhere, because you're ugly, inside and out -- So ugly I want to throw up.
Dude! No one will ever find you beautiful, ever! And it's got nothing to do with the ol' chrome dome.
It has to do with what's in here.
Can you get off my friend now? D-u-u-ude.
- He's right.
- Huh? Well, don't get me wrong.
I know I'm ugly.
And evil.
But I thought if I had some beautiful hair, I could learn how to love myself.
Gee.
I feel kind of bad.
I don't.
Hey, witch! Does it have to be Princess hair? No.
Just beautiful hair.
Well, then, check this out! Ha ha-a-a-a-a-a! You'd really give me your hair? Sure! So how do I look? Totally beautiful, inside and out! Thank you, Finn.
And now to use my hair for evil.
What?! 'Cause I'm evil! What did you want from me? Ohh -- Oh, no.
I think I fractured a branch.
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree
Coming up.
I know what you're thinking about.
Huh? Kissing Princess Bubblegum on the mouth! No, I'm not! And I wouldn't even do that ever.
Yeah, you would.
You're just bad at talking to ladies.
Hmph! Ehggg-uh-ya-uh.
Uh, should I keep going, Mrs.
Yoder? No, Finn, that's plenty.
Thank you.
Okay.
Let us know if you need anything else.
Hyah! You two are heroes! Hunh! Come on, dude.
Hey, do you hear that? She called us heroes.
Yeah, I heard.
Huh? Hey! How's it going?! Ugh! Is that true, what the bird said? You guys are heroes? Why are you hiding in that shrub? Oh, I wasn't hiding.
I'm a Tree Witch.
I can turn into trees and shrubs and bushes and stuff.
Check it out.
Bleh.
So, listen, I need you two heroes to get me a lock of Princess hair.
Why do you need Princess hair? Why? 'Cause I have a balding problem! What, are you blind? Are you blind?! No, we're not blind.
I had no idea.
I didn't know.
Anyway, I need the Princess hair so I can put it on my head.
And then I'll be beautiful.
Oh.
Well, we know lots of Princesses.
Uh, can you, um, give us a minute? Yeah, okay.
Dude, I don't think we should help her.
Why not? 'Cause she's a witch! Maybe she's a good witch.
Her? Are you kidding? Come on, look at her! If she was good, she wouldn't be so ugly.
Are you guys still talking?! So what do we do? Tell her we can't help her 'cause she's ugly? No, man, she'll kill us or put a freaky curse on us or something.
Let me get rid of her with some of my world-famous "smoove" talking.
Hey, sorry about that, girl.
Ahh.
You don't mind if I take a load off, do you? What were you guys talking about? How pretty you are.
Huh? We were just saying someone as pretty as you doesn't even need a full head of hair.
Isn't that right, buddy? Uh, yeah, totally.
Nuh-unh.
Girl, if I didn't already have a G.
F.
, I'd be on you like butter on toast! I don't mind if you have a G.
F.
Oh.
Um Dude, I don't think it's working.
Yeah, I think I'm making things worse.
Ah-ha-ha-ha! Hey.
What? How would you court me? Um Spaghetti dinner? Hmm.
Look, Lady, we can't help you get Princess hair.
Why not? Because we only help when someone's in danger.
Oh! Well, why didn't you say so? Hey, uh, what's -- Yaaah! Hey! There.
Now someone's in danger.
I told you she was evil! Grrrrrr! Yaah! Unh! Oof! What, you forget I'm a witch? Maybe.
Well, maybe you should get me some Princess hair so maybe your friend doesn't get sucked into my bottomless bottom! Nyuh! Get some Princess hair! All right, fine! Wait! Uh, you -- you can't tell anyone why you need it.
What? Why? I don't want anyone to know I have a balding problem.
Okay.
It's Princess Muscles' Castle! Hi, Finn.
Uh, hey, Princess Muscles.
What brings you by? Um, you were the nearest Princess, and I need a lock of your hair.
I understand.
You do? Mm-hmm.
Aah! What are you doing? Trying to give you a hug.
Why? I want hair, not hug! Oh.
I see.
You want to take things slo-o-o-w.
No! I -- I'm here to save you! From your hair! It looks really bad! Cut it off, quick! Of course it looks bad.
If I had beautiful, shiny hair, no one would look at my muscles.
Unh! Hwuh! Come back when you want to get serious about loving me! I am terrible at talking to ladies.
Hmm.
Where's a Princess? Princess? Princess Princess Who's that? It's Lumpy Space Princess.
Does she live in the woods now? G-g-get away from my camp.
I'll cut you! Hrm.
I'm never gonna go back home.
Huh.
Wait.
Does she even have hair? She does! Wellhair is hair.
Oh, my glob.
What the stuff are you doing? Why are you cutting my lumps?! Because they're, uh So -- I knew you liked me.
No! I don't! I-I'm just stopping by because -- Just admit it, Lover Boy! You can't resist me.
Well, if you want these lumps, you got to put a ring on it! Where's my ring?! Aah! I knew you liked me, Finn.
That's why you're running! Get in touch with your feelings, babe! What am I gonna do? Huh? A graveyard? Yes! There's got to be a hairy Princess in there that won't think I'm hitting on her! Princess.
Princess.
Princess? Ugh! Come on! Bingo! "Here lies Princess Beautiful.
She was so beautiful.
" Hey, that's perfect! And sort of macabre.
Oh, well.
Aha! Hi, Finn.
Ohh! What? What are you -- Please stop.
Where's her hair?! Thanks, Finn.
"Here lies Princess beautiful.
She was so beautiful But died of baldness"?! Dang it! I'm gonna look so beautiful.
Invited to all the parties Jake! Jake! I'm sorry, man.
Getting Princess hair is -- is impossible! They all just think I'm in love with them! Ugh! I can't do it.
You're gonna have to spend the rest of your life in this witch's butt.
Noooo! Eh! Quiet down! I'm daydreaming! Dude, if they think you like them, then use that.
Embrace it! Find the least terrible Princess you can, play her some music, cook her a meal, "Smoove" talk her until she likes you.
And then get the hair! Wait.
You mean like go on a date? Marry a Princess if you need to! Just get her hair! Aaaah! Jake! Go get the hair! Okay! Hold on! Princess Bubblegum! Hi, Finn! Uh I need you to come with me! Why? I'm watering right now.
Just come on.
We don't have much time! What is this, Finn? We're gonna have a spaghetti dinner.
Whoa! Really? Where do we sit? Dyaaaaaaah! Um, Finn? Put your butt here! Hurry! Oh.
Hey, Simon, make it romantic.
Ow! Here, shove this in your mouth! It's hot! Finn, I don't understa-- Please, Princess! Just stick it in your mouth! Well, okay.
You're lucky I love spaghetti! Um, Princess Do you like me? Finn, of course I like you.
Really? Yeah! Yes! Now give me some of your hair! Oh, Finn, that's sweet.
Sure, I'll give you some of my hair.
Here.
Take it, you cutie.
Thank you, Princess Bubblegum! My spaghetti! My cat had kittens, and I'm thinking of naming one "Little Whiner.
" What do you think? Is that a good name? Totally did it! Genuine Princess hair.
You hear that, Jake? Just give it to her already! All right, Lady, a deal is a deal.
Ahh! This isn't hair! It's Bubblegum! What?! It is Bubblegum! Well, I guess you failed.
Say goodbye to your dog.
Aaaah! Wait! What? If I learned anything today, it's that I'm awesome at talking to ladies! And, Lady, you are crazy ugly! Wha-a-a-t? Dude! Having beautiful hair isn't gonna get you anywhere, because you're ugly, inside and out -- So ugly I want to throw up.
Dude! No one will ever find you beautiful, ever! And it's got nothing to do with the ol' chrome dome.
It has to do with what's in here.
Can you get off my friend now? D-u-u-ude.
- He's right.
- Huh? Well, don't get me wrong.
I know I'm ugly.
And evil.
But I thought if I had some beautiful hair, I could learn how to love myself.
Gee.
I feel kind of bad.
I don't.
Hey, witch! Does it have to be Princess hair? No.
Just beautiful hair.
Well, then, check this out! Ha ha-a-a-a-a-a! You'd really give me your hair? Sure! So how do I look? Totally beautiful, inside and out! Thank you, Finn.
And now to use my hair for evil.
What?! 'Cause I'm evil! What did you want from me? Ohh -- Oh, no.
I think I fractured a branch.
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree