Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s03e04 Episode Script
Hitman
[ mouse squeaks.]
[ penguins chirp.]
[all cheering .]
[screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end It's Adventure Time Ahh.
[ munching .]
[ chuckles softly.]
Good morning, Breakfast Princesses.
[grunts.]
Mmm! [ humming .]
Oh.
Huh?! Oh.
Sis, give me the phone.
[dialing .]
[ ringing .]
Oh, hey, Finn.
I've got another Ice King situation here.
Oh, yeah? That would be great.
Thanks.
[slam! .]
FINN: Ice King! How many times have we warned you about using love potion? That's why I'm using honey.
Man, who cares if it's honey? You stink anyways.
[laughs.]
Yeah, you stink so much, I'm gonna ground you for a week.
What?! You can't do that! You're grounded for two weeks! You're grounded for two weeks! Three weeks.
Oh, snaps! Why?! I didn't do anything! Four weeks? [groans.]
Fine! But I'm only gonna do it for a week! That just grounded you for four weeks.
Oh, dang! [sighs.]
Okay.
What's up with the peace sign?! Oh.
No, I-I was just trying to show you how many weeks you got.
Get out of here, bubble butt! [growls.]
[ both laugh .]
Awesome.
ICE KING: Aaaaaaaaaaah! This is so unfair! They're the ones who should be grounded, not me! Ooh! I'm so mad I could just hit them! If only I could hit them without leaving the castle.
[ clink! clink! clink! clink! .]
"HIT MAN" Ooh! Perfect.
"Dear, Mr.
Scorcher.
I would like you to hit two people.
Neat name, by the way.
Love, the Ice King.
" [laughs.]
Aah! Whoa, you are fast! And quiet.
ICE KING: And very good at dramatic silence.
I like it.
All right! So, how do we do this? Uh, we shake hands, or -- aah! [whoosh! .]
Oh-ho! Paperwork.
"Finn and Jake.
" [whoosh! .]
[ hiss! .]
[laughs.]
Whoosh! Aha.
There he is.
Huh? What's he doing? What the I hired a hitman, not a fireman! [groans.]
Dude, you see my masterpiece coming together, right? Mine's whack.
Well, put some meat in there.
Huh.
What kind of meat is that? That's Meat Man's meat.
Do you think it hurts Meat Man when he gives us his meat? I don't know.
I can't read his mind.
Phoo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! You guys, I -- What do you think "grounded" means?! It's wasted, man! Oh, great! Now see what you did to my buddy?! So help me, Ice King! Okay, okay.
Ghal! [whoosh! .]
It's all right, buddy.
We can make another.
Sheesh, this Scorcher guy's got some weird ideas about hitting.
Hey, there you are.
What's that? I already signed that.
[smack! .]
I thought I told you to hit them, not burn them alive, you big dummy! Ghal! It's almost like you want to kill them! ICE MAN: Lucky for them, I stopped the fire.
You know what happens when you're burned alive?! Your eyeballs explode! Blah! Hey, wha? [ both snoring .]
Punch, punch.
Punch.
Rainicorn, don't eat him.
[snores.]
[ hiss! .]
[wheezing .]
[wheezing .]
[gasps.]
Ice winds, blow! Blo-o-o-o-o-o-o-w! Blo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w! JAKE: Meat Man [snores.]
Meat Man, I'm sorry, Meat Man.
I-I didn't mean it, man.
[snores.]
Finn and Jake, I am just a dream! I was never here.
Okay, mister, you are really trying my patience! How clear can I be?! All I want you to do is hit them -- on the shoulder, or something.
[grunts.]
Are you even listening? Oh, I get it.
Here's double the grease to not kill Finn and Jake.
[whoosh! .]
[ chuckles nervously.]
You trying to hustle me, Scorcher? Okay.
I'll play this game.
How about this prize piece for your pad? I wanna live, live, live I wanna live, live, live No-o-o-o-o-o-o! Huh.
Okay.
How about these bad boys -- night vision x-ray goggles for when you have a lady houseguest? Aw! Come on! ICE KING: At least renegotiate the target! You can destroy my least favorite princesses.
What about Lumpy Space Princess? [whoosh! .]
Ghost Princess? I can't even hold her with my love mitts.
Aw, geez! Uh [whoosh! .]
Huh.
Oh! A-A leg cramp, in my leg! Ow, ow! O-Oh, this is so embarrassing.
I'll be right back.
Ow! Ow! [sighs.]
Think, baby.
Come on.
Ah! All right, let's hit the hitman, right? There's got to be a -- Ah! "Blastronaut --#1 solution for all hitman problems.
" Sheesh! $99.
95?! That's nuts! [ mouse clicks.]
"Scor cher.
" [ beeping .]
[ boom! .]
[zap! zap! zap! .]
Sweet! [whoosh! boom! .]
No! Come back, you wussy! Ooh, that was weird.
[whoosh! .]
Was that your friend, or something? [ chuckles nervously.]
Look! A supermodel! Look! A hoverboard! Look! The apocalypse! Someone got hit in the boingloings.
Hit in the boingloings! ICE KING: Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them.
Peace out! [ cra-a-a-a-a-ck! .]
Oh! Freakin' butt! Butt, butt, butt! Hey, Finn, are you awake yet? [ yawning .]
I'm trying.
I had a dream about Meat Man.
Oh, yeah? I think I'm gonna stop eating Meat Man.
Aah! Oh! You're grounded! I know, but shush! [slurps.]
[sighs.]
[groans.]
Okay.
I hired a guy to kill you by accident.
BOTH: What?! I thought he was gonna just hit you in the gut and make you spit up your lunch.
Well, I froze him in ice, but I think he's free now, 'cause he's made out of fire or he commands fire, maybe? Good job.
Good job, The Ice King.
[ boom! .]
Oh, my life! Aah! Hyah! Come on, man! Let's get out of here! [ hiss! .]
Jake, do something! He's getting close! Yah! Go faster, man! [ panting .]
Oof! [ both grunt .]
[groans.]
[thud! .]
You alive? Uh, I think so.
Whew! That was close! [ chuckles.]
[thud! thud! thud! .]
Uh, hey, guys? I don't think this ice dome is gonna last long.
What do we do? Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hm.
Ooh! Got it! I'm gonna kill you guys.
Hey, I'll kill you! No, wait a minute, you two! I won't actually kill you.
I'm just gonna lower your body temperatures so you seem dead.
And after we fool that fool outside, I'll warm you up -- good as new.
No way, man! You already messed up enough stuff! You'll probably kill us, too! Yeah! We don't trust you! Zap! [ both scream .]
You'll thank me later.
Stop! Time out! You don't need to do this anymore! Look! They're dead! I killed them myself! Dead, dead, dead! Dead, dead, dead! They're dead.
No pulses.
[growls softly.]
So, uh, looks like you can go home now.
[whoosh! .]
Aah! Oh, yeah.
O-Of course.
There.
[whoosh! .]
Oh, glad all that's over.
[whistling .]
[grunting .]
[sighs.]
ICE KING: Hey, guys, guess what.
You're grounded underneath my butt! [laughs.]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest and do so as we please Come along with me to a cliff under a tree FINN: This party is so crazy!
[ penguins chirp.]
[all cheering .]
[screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end It's Adventure Time Ahh.
[ munching .]
[ chuckles softly.]
Good morning, Breakfast Princesses.
[grunts.]
Mmm! [ humming .]
Oh.
Huh?! Oh.
Sis, give me the phone.
[dialing .]
[ ringing .]
Oh, hey, Finn.
I've got another Ice King situation here.
Oh, yeah? That would be great.
Thanks.
[slam! .]
FINN: Ice King! How many times have we warned you about using love potion? That's why I'm using honey.
Man, who cares if it's honey? You stink anyways.
[laughs.]
Yeah, you stink so much, I'm gonna ground you for a week.
What?! You can't do that! You're grounded for two weeks! You're grounded for two weeks! Three weeks.
Oh, snaps! Why?! I didn't do anything! Four weeks? [groans.]
Fine! But I'm only gonna do it for a week! That just grounded you for four weeks.
Oh, dang! [sighs.]
Okay.
What's up with the peace sign?! Oh.
No, I-I was just trying to show you how many weeks you got.
Get out of here, bubble butt! [growls.]
[ both laugh .]
Awesome.
ICE KING: Aaaaaaaaaaah! This is so unfair! They're the ones who should be grounded, not me! Ooh! I'm so mad I could just hit them! If only I could hit them without leaving the castle.
[ clink! clink! clink! clink! .]
"HIT MAN" Ooh! Perfect.
"Dear, Mr.
Scorcher.
I would like you to hit two people.
Neat name, by the way.
Love, the Ice King.
" [laughs.]
Aah! Whoa, you are fast! And quiet.
ICE KING: And very good at dramatic silence.
I like it.
All right! So, how do we do this? Uh, we shake hands, or -- aah! [whoosh! .]
Oh-ho! Paperwork.
"Finn and Jake.
" [whoosh! .]
[ hiss! .]
[laughs.]
Whoosh! Aha.
There he is.
Huh? What's he doing? What the I hired a hitman, not a fireman! [groans.]
Dude, you see my masterpiece coming together, right? Mine's whack.
Well, put some meat in there.
Huh.
What kind of meat is that? That's Meat Man's meat.
Do you think it hurts Meat Man when he gives us his meat? I don't know.
I can't read his mind.
Phoo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! You guys, I -- What do you think "grounded" means?! It's wasted, man! Oh, great! Now see what you did to my buddy?! So help me, Ice King! Okay, okay.
Ghal! [whoosh! .]
It's all right, buddy.
We can make another.
Sheesh, this Scorcher guy's got some weird ideas about hitting.
Hey, there you are.
What's that? I already signed that.
[smack! .]
I thought I told you to hit them, not burn them alive, you big dummy! Ghal! It's almost like you want to kill them! ICE MAN: Lucky for them, I stopped the fire.
You know what happens when you're burned alive?! Your eyeballs explode! Blah! Hey, wha? [ both snoring .]
Punch, punch.
Punch.
Rainicorn, don't eat him.
[snores.]
[ hiss! .]
[wheezing .]
[wheezing .]
[gasps.]
Ice winds, blow! Blo-o-o-o-o-o-o-w! Blo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w! JAKE: Meat Man [snores.]
Meat Man, I'm sorry, Meat Man.
I-I didn't mean it, man.
[snores.]
Finn and Jake, I am just a dream! I was never here.
Okay, mister, you are really trying my patience! How clear can I be?! All I want you to do is hit them -- on the shoulder, or something.
[grunts.]
Are you even listening? Oh, I get it.
Here's double the grease to not kill Finn and Jake.
[whoosh! .]
[ chuckles nervously.]
You trying to hustle me, Scorcher? Okay.
I'll play this game.
How about this prize piece for your pad? I wanna live, live, live I wanna live, live, live No-o-o-o-o-o-o! Huh.
Okay.
How about these bad boys -- night vision x-ray goggles for when you have a lady houseguest? Aw! Come on! ICE KING: At least renegotiate the target! You can destroy my least favorite princesses.
What about Lumpy Space Princess? [whoosh! .]
Ghost Princess? I can't even hold her with my love mitts.
Aw, geez! Uh [whoosh! .]
Huh.
Oh! A-A leg cramp, in my leg! Ow, ow! O-Oh, this is so embarrassing.
I'll be right back.
Ow! Ow! [sighs.]
Think, baby.
Come on.
Ah! All right, let's hit the hitman, right? There's got to be a -- Ah! "Blastronaut --#1 solution for all hitman problems.
" Sheesh! $99.
95?! That's nuts! [ mouse clicks.]
"Scor cher.
" [ beeping .]
[ boom! .]
[zap! zap! zap! .]
Sweet! [whoosh! boom! .]
No! Come back, you wussy! Ooh, that was weird.
[whoosh! .]
Was that your friend, or something? [ chuckles nervously.]
Look! A supermodel! Look! A hoverboard! Look! The apocalypse! Someone got hit in the boingloings.
Hit in the boingloings! ICE KING: Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them.
Peace out! [ cra-a-a-a-a-ck! .]
Oh! Freakin' butt! Butt, butt, butt! Hey, Finn, are you awake yet? [ yawning .]
I'm trying.
I had a dream about Meat Man.
Oh, yeah? I think I'm gonna stop eating Meat Man.
Aah! Oh! You're grounded! I know, but shush! [slurps.]
[sighs.]
[groans.]
Okay.
I hired a guy to kill you by accident.
BOTH: What?! I thought he was gonna just hit you in the gut and make you spit up your lunch.
Well, I froze him in ice, but I think he's free now, 'cause he's made out of fire or he commands fire, maybe? Good job.
Good job, The Ice King.
[ boom! .]
Oh, my life! Aah! Hyah! Come on, man! Let's get out of here! [ hiss! .]
Jake, do something! He's getting close! Yah! Go faster, man! [ panting .]
Oof! [ both grunt .]
[groans.]
[thud! .]
You alive? Uh, I think so.
Whew! That was close! [ chuckles.]
[thud! thud! thud! .]
Uh, hey, guys? I don't think this ice dome is gonna last long.
What do we do? Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hm.
Ooh! Got it! I'm gonna kill you guys.
Hey, I'll kill you! No, wait a minute, you two! I won't actually kill you.
I'm just gonna lower your body temperatures so you seem dead.
And after we fool that fool outside, I'll warm you up -- good as new.
No way, man! You already messed up enough stuff! You'll probably kill us, too! Yeah! We don't trust you! Zap! [ both scream .]
You'll thank me later.
Stop! Time out! You don't need to do this anymore! Look! They're dead! I killed them myself! Dead, dead, dead! Dead, dead, dead! They're dead.
No pulses.
[growls softly.]
So, uh, looks like you can go home now.
[whoosh! .]
Aah! Oh, yeah.
O-Of course.
There.
[whoosh! .]
Oh, glad all that's over.
[whistling .]
[grunting .]
[sighs.]
ICE KING: Hey, guys, guess what.
You're grounded underneath my butt! [laughs.]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest and do so as we please Come along with me to a cliff under a tree FINN: This party is so crazy!