Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s03e08 Episode Script
Wizard Battle
[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time The battle for supremacy amongst masters of magic Wizard Battle! Jake.
[SNORING.]
Wizard Battle is starting soon.
[GROAN.]
I know! We got here six hours early, you dork.
Just wake me up when they start selling hot dogs.
Whoa! What do you know? [CHOMP! MUNCH! MUNCH!.]
[GASPS.]
FINN: The wizards are arriving! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Whoo-hoo! YeahH MAN: Ladies and gentlemen [BREATHING QUICKLY.]
I am the grand master wizard of ceremonies.
And nowthe rules! Contestants will fight each other with spells from the eight schools of magic.
No science, Science Whyzard! No weapons, Weaponhead! Hmph! To enter Wizard Battle, you must be a wizard! Whoo, only wizards allowed! Whoo! Whoo! Wh-- oh, what? Ice King! Boo! You're a contestant? Mm-hmm.
You guys come here to watch me win? [SCOFFS.]
You're gonna lose, man.
You're a loser.
Ha! I'm not gonna lose.
I've got a foolproof plan for winning.
I'm gonna cheat.
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
[RUMBLE.]
GRAND WIZARD: And now, L's and G's, witness the unveiling of this tournament's Grand Prize -- a kiss from Princess Bubblegum [CROWD CHEERS.]
[SMOOCH! SMOOCH!.]
on the mouth! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Boo! Boo! Hmm.
Is it an open-mouth kiss? No! Then I choose to exit the battle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
GRAND WIZARD: No one is allowed to exit Wizard Battle! [ZAP!.]
[ALL MEOW.]
The doors are shut! The sky barrier is in place! All of you will kiss the Princess or die in battle! Oh, I just can't wait to taste that sweet Bubblegum.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jake, we got to enter the contest and stop Ice King! But we're not wizards, mang.
What about the sanctity and honor of Wizard Battle'? I'd rather sanctify PB's lips.
Ooh! You don't care about the Ice King -- You just want to kiss Princess Bubblegum.
No, I want to save the Princess! Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you do.
I do! Yeah, you do.
Oh, shush! [CLATTER!.]
Nowwhere's the Ice King? [ZWIP!.]
[ZAP!.]
JAKE: Over there! [EXHALING SHARPLY.]
[SNIFFING.]
Oh, yeah.
We need a plan, man.
Okay, when the wizards start to battle, let's go hide behind that rock.
By the rays of the setting sun, the battle of wizards has begun! [ALL SCREAM.]
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[ZZZZAP!.]
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[WIND BLOWS.]
[FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH!.]
[FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH!.]
Looks like everyone had the same plan.
[WIND RUSHING.]
What are they waiting for? BOY: The opposites.
Huh? The wizards with opposite powers will take each other on first.
And are you a wizard? Yes.
My name is Abracadaniel! [GRUNTING.]
Ugh! [GASPS.]
Hi, Abracadaniel.
My name is, uh Magic, uh, Fist.
Whoa, this kid looks like a wimp.
Who is that? He's my [CHUCKLES.]
uh, magic second head.
Well, he's right.
[SIGHS.]
I only entered this contest 'cause I thought the prize would be money, but it's just a kiss! You meanyou don't care about kissing PB? Ugh, no Way! If I were the winner, I would turn my face so our lips [GASPS.]
Wouldn't touch, and I would push Princess away.
Turnand push! Turnand push! Turnand push! This guy is great! Turnand push! Well, I'm going back to my cave to wait for someone to kill me.
Good bye.
Wait! Abracadanny, don't you worry about a thing.
I'm gonna protect you.
You will? Yeah, man.
Also, I have an idea for how you can help me save PB's lips.
Um, okay.
[ZAP!.]
Aaah! Oh! Look, opposites are going to battle.
Hyah! [GASPS.]
Cheating! He's using a weapon! Why isn't the Grand Wizard seeing this? [LAUGHING.]
[MEOWING.]
Nunchucks, vanish! Booyah! Now's my chance to stop him! Ooh.
Aaah! Rock Wizard! [ROARS.]
Come to be, Meteor shower! Rock Wizard compels you! Cantrip! Huh? Mm! Aah! [GASPS.]
No! Jake, 2 o'clock! Okay, now to stop the Ice Ki-i-i-ng? My body is squishy.
That's how I survived.
Whoa! That's turbo amazing! ICE KING: Hyah! Whaaaa! Stay close to me, Abracadaniel.
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[ZAP! WHOOSH!.]
Aaah! [ROARS.]
Cantrip! What?! You turned me pink, Bro! Ugh! [MEOWING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Three wizards remain! Time to get real! I want to see some crazy Wiz Biz! [CROWD CHANTS "WIZ BIZ".]
Wiz Biz! Wiz Biz! Oh, I can almost taste those sweet lips! Wlllah! Wlllah! [SHUDDERS.]
Quick, listen! Now's the time for you to help me! [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY.]
ICE KING: Hey, guys.
Guys? What are you whispering? Come on! I got a surprise for youse fools! Yeah, that's right.
Just a little closer.
Ooh, what's in here, in my little sleevie hole? Watch out, man! Whoo! You got this, Danny Boy! [SLINKY.]
[PLOINK.]
My nunchucks! No! Yes! [BREATHING QUICKLY.]
I did it! I really did it! [GASPS.]
I'm a true wizard! I have powers too, you butts! Hyah! Ice sword! Ice shield! Abracadaniel! [SLINKY.]
What? What'd you say? Ohm [CROWD CHEERS.]
Good job, Danny.
You're not a wimp anymore.
You should feel pretty good.
I do.
I feel real good! I'm gonna forfeit now.
I only wanted to stop the Ice King.
Unh-unh.
I forfeit! I forfeit, everyone! [CROWD CHEERS.]
[MEOWS.]
Whoa! Abracadaniel wins! You are the greatest wizard in Ooo! Oh! Ooh! Oh, thank you, Grand Master Wizard.
I guess, through this trial, I have become a great wizard.
I-I came here with no self-esteem and no chances, a willow wisp of a boy, but I walk out of this arena a man, a confident man who deserves a kiss from a Princess! [GASPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[CREAK! CREAK!.]
[CREEEAK!.]
No-o-o-o-o-o!! It appears you have knocked out Abracadaniel using the most shameful of all magic, a power shriek.
[CROWD MURMURING.]
But since you are the last wizard, you are the winner of Wizard Battle! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Go get ready for your kiss, champ.
[SIGHS.]
[CREAKY.]
Wow, man! What? I never heard you scream like that before.
You were all like, "No-o-o-o-o! No one kisses her but me-e-e-e!" Yeah, okay, I want to kiss her, all right? You got me! The big secret is out! Okay, Jake! I like Princess Bubblegum! Are you happy, Jake?! [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[PLONK! PLONK!.]
Whoa.
Jake, don't cry, man.
I'm not really mad at you.
[SNIFFLES.]
I'm just sick of having to hide my feelings all the driz.
It's exhausting.
Then stop hiding your feelings, man.
Go out there and smooch it up! [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, all right, man.
[POUNDING ON DOOR.]
You ready in there? Yeah, I'm comin'! Get ready for the ultimate prize Watch her lips pout before your eyes Never in your life would you dream of this Never in your freaking life Ugh! Whoa! [GASPS.]
Ow, dag.
What's going on here? Uh, Ice King was cheating his way through Wizard Battle using nunchucks, so Jake and I faked being wizards to save you from having to kiss him.
And -- and we [SIGHS.]
I dishonored Wizard Battle.
Oh, Finn, you did all that for me? [SMOOCH!.]
That's for being sweet [SLAP!.]
and that's for cheating.
Finn, you know better than to ruin the sanctity of Wizard Battle! Wizards only, silly.
Okay, everyone, go home! Start getting ready for next year! [WIZARDS GROAN.]
Meh.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, well.
Good job.
You got the kiss, man.
Thanks, man.
My face hurts a little.
Don't worry about that, 'cause you look totally cool right now.
Thanks, dude.
Here, you try 'em.
Okay.
Am I cool now? So fly.
How about me? Put me on the grid, scale of 1 to 10.
you look crazy si-i-ck!" Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time The battle for supremacy amongst masters of magic Wizard Battle! Jake.
[SNORING.]
Wizard Battle is starting soon.
[GROAN.]
I know! We got here six hours early, you dork.
Just wake me up when they start selling hot dogs.
Whoa! What do you know? [CHOMP! MUNCH! MUNCH!.]
[GASPS.]
FINN: The wizards are arriving! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Whoo-hoo! YeahH MAN: Ladies and gentlemen [BREATHING QUICKLY.]
I am the grand master wizard of ceremonies.
And nowthe rules! Contestants will fight each other with spells from the eight schools of magic.
No science, Science Whyzard! No weapons, Weaponhead! Hmph! To enter Wizard Battle, you must be a wizard! Whoo, only wizards allowed! Whoo! Whoo! Wh-- oh, what? Ice King! Boo! You're a contestant? Mm-hmm.
You guys come here to watch me win? [SCOFFS.]
You're gonna lose, man.
You're a loser.
Ha! I'm not gonna lose.
I've got a foolproof plan for winning.
I'm gonna cheat.
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
[RUMBLE.]
GRAND WIZARD: And now, L's and G's, witness the unveiling of this tournament's Grand Prize -- a kiss from Princess Bubblegum [CROWD CHEERS.]
[SMOOCH! SMOOCH!.]
on the mouth! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Boo! Boo! Hmm.
Is it an open-mouth kiss? No! Then I choose to exit the battle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
GRAND WIZARD: No one is allowed to exit Wizard Battle! [ZAP!.]
[ALL MEOW.]
The doors are shut! The sky barrier is in place! All of you will kiss the Princess or die in battle! Oh, I just can't wait to taste that sweet Bubblegum.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jake, we got to enter the contest and stop Ice King! But we're not wizards, mang.
What about the sanctity and honor of Wizard Battle'? I'd rather sanctify PB's lips.
Ooh! You don't care about the Ice King -- You just want to kiss Princess Bubblegum.
No, I want to save the Princess! Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you do.
I do! Yeah, you do.
Oh, shush! [CLATTER!.]
Nowwhere's the Ice King? [ZWIP!.]
[ZAP!.]
JAKE: Over there! [EXHALING SHARPLY.]
[SNIFFING.]
Oh, yeah.
We need a plan, man.
Okay, when the wizards start to battle, let's go hide behind that rock.
By the rays of the setting sun, the battle of wizards has begun! [ALL SCREAM.]
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[ZZZZAP!.]
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[WIND BLOWS.]
[FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH!.]
[FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH! FOOSH!.]
Looks like everyone had the same plan.
[WIND RUSHING.]
What are they waiting for? BOY: The opposites.
Huh? The wizards with opposite powers will take each other on first.
And are you a wizard? Yes.
My name is Abracadaniel! [GRUNTING.]
Ugh! [GASPS.]
Hi, Abracadaniel.
My name is, uh Magic, uh, Fist.
Whoa, this kid looks like a wimp.
Who is that? He's my [CHUCKLES.]
uh, magic second head.
Well, he's right.
[SIGHS.]
I only entered this contest 'cause I thought the prize would be money, but it's just a kiss! You meanyou don't care about kissing PB? Ugh, no Way! If I were the winner, I would turn my face so our lips [GASPS.]
Wouldn't touch, and I would push Princess away.
Turnand push! Turnand push! Turnand push! This guy is great! Turnand push! Well, I'm going back to my cave to wait for someone to kill me.
Good bye.
Wait! Abracadanny, don't you worry about a thing.
I'm gonna protect you.
You will? Yeah, man.
Also, I have an idea for how you can help me save PB's lips.
Um, okay.
[ZAP!.]
Aaah! Oh! Look, opposites are going to battle.
Hyah! [GASPS.]
Cheating! He's using a weapon! Why isn't the Grand Wizard seeing this? [LAUGHING.]
[MEOWING.]
Nunchucks, vanish! Booyah! Now's my chance to stop him! Ooh.
Aaah! Rock Wizard! [ROARS.]
Come to be, Meteor shower! Rock Wizard compels you! Cantrip! Huh? Mm! Aah! [GASPS.]
No! Jake, 2 o'clock! Okay, now to stop the Ice Ki-i-i-ng? My body is squishy.
That's how I survived.
Whoa! That's turbo amazing! ICE KING: Hyah! Whaaaa! Stay close to me, Abracadaniel.
[ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!.]
[ZAP! WHOOSH!.]
Aaah! [ROARS.]
Cantrip! What?! You turned me pink, Bro! Ugh! [MEOWING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Three wizards remain! Time to get real! I want to see some crazy Wiz Biz! [CROWD CHANTS "WIZ BIZ".]
Wiz Biz! Wiz Biz! Oh, I can almost taste those sweet lips! Wlllah! Wlllah! [SHUDDERS.]
Quick, listen! Now's the time for you to help me! [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY.]
ICE KING: Hey, guys.
Guys? What are you whispering? Come on! I got a surprise for youse fools! Yeah, that's right.
Just a little closer.
Ooh, what's in here, in my little sleevie hole? Watch out, man! Whoo! You got this, Danny Boy! [SLINKY.]
[PLOINK.]
My nunchucks! No! Yes! [BREATHING QUICKLY.]
I did it! I really did it! [GASPS.]
I'm a true wizard! I have powers too, you butts! Hyah! Ice sword! Ice shield! Abracadaniel! [SLINKY.]
What? What'd you say? Ohm [CROWD CHEERS.]
Good job, Danny.
You're not a wimp anymore.
You should feel pretty good.
I do.
I feel real good! I'm gonna forfeit now.
I only wanted to stop the Ice King.
Unh-unh.
I forfeit! I forfeit, everyone! [CROWD CHEERS.]
[MEOWS.]
Whoa! Abracadaniel wins! You are the greatest wizard in Ooo! Oh! Ooh! Oh, thank you, Grand Master Wizard.
I guess, through this trial, I have become a great wizard.
I-I came here with no self-esteem and no chances, a willow wisp of a boy, but I walk out of this arena a man, a confident man who deserves a kiss from a Princess! [GASPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[CREAK! CREAK!.]
[CREEEAK!.]
No-o-o-o-o-o!! It appears you have knocked out Abracadaniel using the most shameful of all magic, a power shriek.
[CROWD MURMURING.]
But since you are the last wizard, you are the winner of Wizard Battle! [CROWD CHEERS.]
Go get ready for your kiss, champ.
[SIGHS.]
[CREAKY.]
Wow, man! What? I never heard you scream like that before.
You were all like, "No-o-o-o-o! No one kisses her but me-e-e-e!" Yeah, okay, I want to kiss her, all right? You got me! The big secret is out! Okay, Jake! I like Princess Bubblegum! Are you happy, Jake?! [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[PLONK! PLONK!.]
Whoa.
Jake, don't cry, man.
I'm not really mad at you.
[SNIFFLES.]
I'm just sick of having to hide my feelings all the driz.
It's exhausting.
Then stop hiding your feelings, man.
Go out there and smooch it up! [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, all right, man.
[POUNDING ON DOOR.]
You ready in there? Yeah, I'm comin'! Get ready for the ultimate prize Watch her lips pout before your eyes Never in your life would you dream of this Never in your freaking life Ugh! Whoa! [GASPS.]
Ow, dag.
What's going on here? Uh, Ice King was cheating his way through Wizard Battle using nunchucks, so Jake and I faked being wizards to save you from having to kiss him.
And -- and we [SIGHS.]
I dishonored Wizard Battle.
Oh, Finn, you did all that for me? [SMOOCH!.]
That's for being sweet [SLAP!.]
and that's for cheating.
Finn, you know better than to ruin the sanctity of Wizard Battle! Wizards only, silly.
Okay, everyone, go home! Start getting ready for next year! [WIZARDS GROAN.]
Meh.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, well.
Good job.
You got the kiss, man.
Thanks, man.
My face hurts a little.
Don't worry about that, 'cause you look totally cool right now.
Thanks, dude.
Here, you try 'em.
Okay.
Am I cool now? So fly.
How about me? Put me on the grid, scale of 1 to 10.
you look crazy si-i-ck!" Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree