Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s03e22 Episode Script

Paper Pete

[mouse squeaks.]
[penguins wenk.]
[all cheering.]
[Screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time [both grunting, panting.]
It's slipping, dude.
[both groaning.]
Phew.
"Rainicornicopia -- An Unabridged History of the Rainicorns.
" [yawns.]
Whatever, man.
I barely made it through the title.
Listen, man, one day, I'm probably gonna have half-rainbow pupsters.
I got to be able to share my babies' culture.
[Muttering.]
[thump! thump!.]
Huh.
[thump!.]
Oh.
Hey, this table is wobbly.
We gotta take it to the Lost Tinker Goblin of Fog Mountain to fix it.
Dude, I would love to go on some crazy made-up adventure with you, but I really gotta read this.
So from here on out, I'm just gonna ignore you.
[Muttering.]
I don't make up adventures! Jake, you know that! Jake! I don't make up adventures! [creak! thump! thump! thump! thump! thump!.]
Mm.
Books books kitties zitties witties mitties knitties fitties hitties jitties pitties cities oh, no! Damaged books! Who did this?! Shh-ush! Sorry.
I will avenge the slightly soiled books.
Gotta tell Jake.
[Rattle!.]
Hello? Is someone back here? Are you stuck? Shh-ush-oom.
Hello? Whoa! Oh! Hey, there's pages coming out of these books! Shhhhhh! Who are you dudes? ALL: We are the Pagelings! I am Paper Pete, the leader of the Pagelings, but you can call me P.
P.
I'll call you Pete.
Okay.
Why are you dudes in the library? We are the secret guardians of the books in the library.
You know those blank pieces of paper in the beginning of old books? - Yeah.
- That's us! We revealed ourselves to you, noble giant, because you felt our plight when you saw the damaged books.
And now is our darkest hour, for the Moldos have been growing more bold with every attack.
Look at the damage done yesterday at "The Battle of Teddy Bear Joke Book.
" Wow.
Yeah.
They're massing for a full-scale assault on every book in the library.
Gosh! Even the "Rainicornicopia"? Yes.
I better tell Jake.
Don't you dudes go anywhere.
ALL: Okay.
Hey, bro.
I've got an adventure.
It's not made-up.
There are these -- these Pagelings.
They came out from -- from books, and they -- they folded into little animals.
Do you hear what I'm saying?! Shh! You think I'm making this up? I'll prove it to you! [grunting.]
Finn! Finn! You butt chicken! [grunting.]
Jake, wait 'til you see 'em.
Whoa! [rumble!.]
- Oh, my goodness! - Oh, golly! Ow! [grunting.]
They were just here! Pagelings? Why didn't you dudes introduce yourselves to Jake? We don't want to reveal ourselves to anyone else.
We are the secret guardians -- secret.
Um yeah, but Jake is a powerful giant, like me.
He can help you battle or -- or whatevs.
But first, you must win his favor.
Do you not want victory for your people? ALL: Yes! We do want victory! Come on.
Follow me.
Jake, look.
He's up here reading a book.
Do something to get his attention.
Very well.
We shall dance as flowers.
ALL: Hoopha! Okay- [Pagelings humming.]
Ooh! Ahh! Cha! Cha! Cha! Jake! The Pagelings are dancing for you! Just look up for a second! Finn, all the little voices you're doing are cute, but come on, man, just let me read.
By wearing the beast, we shall become like the beast! You can feel them, can't you? I can feel you pinching me.
Just look up for a second.
Loo-o-o-o-o-o-o-k! [sighs.]
Pagelings, I'm sorry, but my giant friend is acting like a clump.
ALL: Okay.
We can't wait any longer.
We must go back to the bookshelf to prepare for the Moldos' attack.
Yeah, go play make-believe somewhere else.
I'm not making believe! [gasps.]
We were gone too long! [chomp! chomp! chomp!.]
Wield, my brethren! Wield! [all moaning menacingly.]
[all grunting.]
[Yawns.]
I blows.]
Aaaaah! [all grunting.]
[all groaning woozily.]
You win this battle, but next time, We will win it.
PAGELINGS: Yes! Leave! Yes! We did it! Veni, vidi, vici! So, those little, squishy guys are the Moldos? Aye.
This was but a reconnaissance squad sent to test our mettle.
ALL: Mettle! Uh-huh.
They -- they seem tough.
Their bites sting like the dickens.
Hmm.
Their bites sting, eh? I've got a plan, Pete.
Tell me your plan, giant.
Just trust me.
Trust me.
[squish!.]
You've discovered the Moldos' secret lair! Eh, it wasn't very hard.
[echoing.]
Wippa Wippa waaaaa! MOLDOS: The Pagelings have a battle beast! Attack! [indistinct shouting.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, moldy blobs.
I've come here to help the Moldos defeat the Pagelings.
Traitor! Hyah! Yah! Calm down.
This is part of my plan.
Oh! Ha ha! Then I shall play along, wise giant.
How are we to trust you? Well here -- look! I brought y'all a prisoner.
It's their leader.
May you rot in tartarus! May your skin boil and eyes burst into flames forever in a pit! [tink!.]
Traitor! So, do you guys have, like, a leader or something? [all murmuring "Mildwin".]
Mildwin! I'm Mildwin, leader of the Moldos.
Oh.
Uh hmm.
[grunts.]
Nice to meet you, your highness.
I'm not a king.
I was democratically elected.
[laughs.]
That's adorable.
Now, Finn! Yah! Hunh! Hyah! MOLDOS: Protect the elected official! [Panting.]
PETE: Well-played, oh, giant.
You have the cunning of Odysseus.
Pete, j-just stop winking.
Yo! Yah! Yah! Hyoh! Hyoh! Yah! Shh! [Panting.]
Hup-hup! Ignore this! [chomp! chomp! chomp!.]
Hmm? This tastes delicious! [chomp!.]
Aah! Aah! Aah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! [grunting.]
What did you do to me?! Aaaaaaaaaaah! - Uh - Aaaaaaaah! Uh uhhh Come on, you guys.
Knock it off.
[Hisses.]
The Moldos got a taste for you now.
[whimpering.]
Gotta do something! Where can I find ways to solve problems in a library? Books? Aah! Books! Books! Books! Ehhhhh! [panting.]
Huh? [Chomp! chomp!.]
What you nibbling me for? This sweaty stuff tastes amazing! A-mazing! Hmm.
Tastier than battle beast fur.
Yes! Hey, Mildwin.
- Mildwin! - What? I bring a peace offering from the Pagelings.
Hmm? [sniffs.]
[Moldos talking indistinctly.]
Finn, what's happening? Hang on, buddy.
Paper Pete? Giant! Have you wiped out the Moldo horde? No, man.
The war's over.
Mildwin, you can keep my shirt if you don't attack their library books.
Agreed, beast.
This filthy garb will feed my people for generations.
And in 40 years, you can have my shorts.
Sound good, Pete? It will suffice.
Sound good, Jake? [grunting.]
Yaaaaaaaaaah! [snap!.]
What -- what the hecks, man?! What'd you do to me?! Look, man! Moldos and Pagelings are real! Wha-- who cares, man?! I'm outta here! Did you finish your Rainicorn book? Ugh.
I was reading the same paragraph over and over for like 11 minutes.
I guess I'm gonna give up on learning everything about Rainicorn history.
Don't tell Lady.
Oh.
What about, uh, relating to your mixed-species kids? Eh, I'll just fake it.
Oh.
Well hey, man, I think I see some um sun people in trouble on the sun over there.
- You making that up? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah! Let's do it! FINN: Whoo! Whoo! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree FINN: This party is so crazy!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode