Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s03e23 Episode Script

Another Way

[ mouse squeaks.]
[ penguins chirp.]
[all cheering .]
[screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end It's Adventure Time [ circus music playing .]
[squeak! squeak! .]
[ bubble! bubble! bubble! .]
Who wants a cookie? [ imitates airplane zooming .]
Milk-dipped chocolate-chip cookie! No, thanks.
Now, come on, Finn.
You ha ve to eat.
Open sesame! Uh, Jake can't we get rid of these clown nurses? They make me feel ridiculous.
No way, man.
Ugh! Well, now you know we can't jump off of birds.
[ imitates airplane zooming .]
[ imitates explosion .]
[ munch! munch! .]
I paid them up front.
They don't leave until the job's done.
Besides [ honk! honk! honk! .]
they're funny.
[ honk! .]
[ farts.]
[laughs.]
Look! She just farted! Time for our love therapy.
Wait -- what are they doing? [smooches.]
Whoa! Stop! Oh, my! Did that hurt, dear? No! I just don't want you kissing my toe! Now, now, honey.
You got to understand that this is the only way to foo-foo your boo-boo.
What does that even mean?! I don't know, but I'm feeling better already.
Aah! That tickles.
You want me to stop? No, keep going.
[smooching .]
You're gross, man.
Look! "Deep in the forest of trees, there's a Cyclops whose magical tears can heal any wound.
" See? See?! Maybe you should leave the medical decisions to the medical professionals.
And my professional prescription is your toe needs c-razy smooches! It's the only way! [laughing maniacally.]
Huh? What?! [grunting .]
[laughing maniacally.]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! There's another way! There's my way! Let me show you my way! [smooches.]
Aah! Let me go! [slurp! slurp! slurp! .]
Aaaaaaaah! [ panting .]
[ nurses giggling .]
Whoa! Oof! Huh? It's the only way! [laughing maniacally.]
Whoa! Waah! Waah! [ panting .]
Whoa! [gulps.]
It's the only way.
Aaaaaaah! [sighs.]
[smooching .]
My way! [screaming .]
Hmm.
Ring! Ring! Look, there's only two choices, bro.
Take your pick.
There's a path on the left -- "Hair Fall Out path," no more hair again e ver! Or the path on the right -- "Smelly path," makes you smelly forever.
[ chuckles.]
You won't believe it.
Isn't there another way? No.
- What if I just went -- - No.
That's it.
You have to choose.
There's no other way.
Choosing is the only way.
[echoing .]
Choosing is the only way.
It's the only way! [laughing maniacally.]
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! [ panting .]
[ normal voice.]
Hey, listen, man -- The Smelly Path's actually not that bad.
Uhuhh No! I choose my way! Aaaaah! My way.
[growls.]
[screaming .]
[screaming continues.]
Hmm.
Ring! Ring! Hello, dummy police? Yes, there's a strange dummy lurking around my house.
Okay.
Yes.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
What? I need to cross the river.
The cyclops is over there.
You can't cross this river.
It's impossible.
Look, the current -- it's so fast, it'll turn your butt inside out for real, doofus.
And the water's so acidic, it'll krump your boat in half.
It's like orange juice.
It's gross.
There's a bridge, but it's a trap.
Plus, the water's jammin' with electric eels! Wow.
So weird.
Anyway, that's it.
There's no other way around, you dummy.
But I need to get across.
Listen what I'm telling you.
There's no way! Ugly tramp.
[dramatic music plays.]
Glob, globbit, globbit, globbit! Huh? What are you saying? "Globbit, globbit"? Who's globbit? Aah! My way! [ both screaming .]
No! [zap! zap! zap! zap! zap! .]
Peugghhh! Glibby-glab man, you're crazy! We're not even halfway across! You got to go back, man! It's the only way, you ugly, fat-smelling, fathead! No! My way! Aah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Uuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! [ panting .]
Crazy! Globba, globba, globba, globba.
Uh, excuse me, friend.
Blblblblblblblblblblbl! Huh? You're pretty tall.
Can you reach up there and get my wheel for me? Got to get these melons home to my wife.
You know how it is.
[growls.]
My way! [ rumble! .]
[ crash! .]
Watch out, Rainy! Aah! Aah! Uhp! Oof! [groans.]
[gasps.]
[voice breaking .]
Rainy! Whoops.
Uh Man I'm real sorry.
[ crying .]
Yeah.
No doi, friend.
But I can still help.
I-I'll fix your house for you.
Just get out of here! Leave us alone! UhI [sighs.]
Psycho Fink.
[auto-tuned .]
I was wrong Was I wrong? No Yes Yes I was wrong How could it be? I trusted in my guts but ended up all nuts I was wrong How could it be? Listened to my brain but ended up insane The melons rolled over that lady I went too far [ bird chirping .]
How could it be? How did I go too far? [ rumble! .]
[ normal voice.]
Yaah! Hey! I know you're here for my magical tears, but you won't have any, because I never cry.
I don't want them anymore.
What? Stop lying! You're here for my tears, aren't you? No.
I hurt a small, hairy man's wife.
I just want to go home.
You're just trying to make me feel sad so you can steal my tears when I cry, but I've got a heart of stone, buddy.
I'm evil! Dude! What's wrong with you?! I said I don't want your tears! You're lying! I'm not lying! You stink at lying.
Ugh! Fine.
Whatever, man.
Have it your way.
Okay I will have it my way! Huh? [ moaning .]
Beg for mercy, or I'll kill you! [ mumbling .]
Whoa.
What? [ mumbling .]
What?! I can't hear you! I said my way! Aah! Aah! Aah! [ chuckling .]
[splash! twinkle! .]
Huh? Magical teardrop.
[laughs.]
My way can still work! Yeah! [splash! twinkle! .]
Huh? I'm okay! Yay! [splash! twinkle! .]
Huh? Whoa! Ow! Ow, ow, ow! [splash! twinkle! .]
Huh? Whoo-hoo! [splash! twinkle! .]
Yeah! [ circus music playing .]
Oh, yeah.
[door bursts open .]
Huh? [ both gasp.]
Have you come crawling back for your proper treatment, babylips? - Yah! - Ohh! [thud .]
Kiss that! Oh, my.
You look horribly injured.
My kisses will heal you.
[smooching .]
Now, how does that feel? Bittersweet.
[smooching .]
Hey, man.
You want me to heal your toe with my magical goo? Ahh! No, thanks.
I think the kisses work better.
Excuse me! Don't stop! Keep going, please.
[smooching .]
You're gross.
Hey! We all have our own ways.
You know what? You're right.
[twinkle! .]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest and do so as we please Come along with me to a cliff under a tree
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