Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s04e15 Episode Script
Sons of Mars
[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS WENK.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time [WHISTLES.]
Hey, friend.
Don't be afraid.
I'm a child like you, running wild and crazy.
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
Hold on.
Wow.
A falling star.
It's too far, though.
Magic! You're welcome.
Hmm.
Ah.
There.
Wait.
Oh, glob.
He is here somewhere, my brothers.
Glob, can you see Magic Man on the sensor? Yes, Gob.
Our little brother is very close.
- Hey, flip me.
- Okay.
I'm gonna activate the thingy that drains his magic juice.
[GROANS.]
My juice! Not flowing right.
Dream on, honey.
You can't catch this.
[PANTING.]
Magic away! [PSHEW!.]
[WHAP!.]
I think I see him.
Yes, I see him, as well.
- Hey, guys.
- BOTH: What, Glob? Nothing.
Never mind.
[PANTING.]
Wait.
Wait.
Shh, shh! Shush! I wasn't -- You hear that? It was totally silent for like a whole second.
Huh.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up battling stuff, we forget to -- [ALL GRUNT.]
[GROANS.]
[GASPS.]
Ooh! [MOANS.]
Waaa zoo! Hey.
Shhhhhh.
[SMACK!.]
ALL: Arise.
Magic Man, you caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars.
We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our utopian super-society.
Now, tell us -- what have you learned in these past 200 years? Are you guys talking to me? You know you made life on Mars a nightmare.
[GROANS.]
Now we must return you to Mars, where vengeance awaits thee.
That's not -- Magic Man! Get up! Did it work? Is he gone? Yep.
[GRUNTS.]
They took my friend to Mars! Fly me there and help me save him! Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't.
You see? The transfer drained me.
I can probably barely float.
So I just got to wait 'til they kill your friend.
See ya! [LAUGHS.]
- No! - Whoa! What do you mean "kill"? They're gonna put him on trial for my crimes.
Ain't nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head -- not even the king of Mars! And once he's dead, my magic juice will return to my body -- flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance.
- Squeeze! - [GROANS.]
I wish I could help except I don't! You succubutt! Come on, let's go to my house Come on, let's go to my house! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
[THUD!.]
How long have you had this house? Yes, that is true! Well, I bet there's something here that can help me save Jake.
There is, but you'll never make it work.
What?! Where is it?! I don't know! Have you seen my trash palace? Yeah, what's the deal? This place is wrecked.
Ewww! Ew!! What am I stepping in? That's where I blow my nose all day.
Ugh! Yes, welcome to my tower of light.
Everyone is welcome to share this magic kingdom -- squirrels black mold worms poison ivy tiny manticore.
[MUFFLED.]
Help me, you coward! Magic Man, what is your deal, for real? You tell me.
Well, for one, I think this house is a reflection of your sick brain.
Look at this.
Yuck.
Who's this you're standing with in this picture? Memories drift in and out of my mind And the little people get left behind So whatever All right.
Well, I'm gonna keep digging through this stuff 'til I find what you're talking about.
It's downstairs.
- Huh? What? - My special thing.
Whoa! [SCREAMS.]
Holy crepes.
[GROANS.]
Ta-da! Come on.
That's the thing -- my special thing.
A Martian transporter.
[GASPS.]
This can take me to Mars?! Yeah.
My brothers gave it to me when they banished me to Earth.
They thought I'd learn love and use it to go back home.
How do I do it? You put your hands on those thingies and think stuff about people.
But it's broken.
Hasn't worked in 200 years.
But it has to work.
It has to.
For Jake.
[TRANSPORTER POWERS UP.]
Huh-duh?! Yaaaaaaaah! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [LAUGHING.]
Whoa! [TRANSPORTER SHUTS OFF.]
Citizens of Mars, King of Mars today, the most notorious fiend in Martian history stands before us -- Magic Man.
[PANTING.]
[GASPS.]
Stop! [GRUNTING.]
Turn on the dark.
Okay, so we don't have footage of these crimes, but Grod's pretty good at drawing, so "Plague of Shadows.
" Magic Man brought our shadows to life.
They attacked us and ravaged Mars.
Very impressive, Grod.
Thanks, bro.
To the "Plague of the One-ness.
" As we gathered to hold hands and sing our community song, Magic Man cast an evil spell that made our arms grow together.
Much suffering ensued.
And what about that one time when he turned all the water into hair and we all got so thirsty, we drank it? And when we drank it, we went bald? Many of us did not recover and, to this day, hide our loss behind groovy headgear.
Dark off, please.
Magic Man, it bums me out to see this.
I remember when you were really cool, before that night you spent on Olympus Mons with Margles.
[GRUNTS.]
Aw, man! [TAPPING.]
Force field.
What happened, Magic? Why did you go crazy? If you had just learned to care about living things again, you could have come back whenever you wanted.
Well you guys are missing some important details.
I'm Jake the dog.
Listen.
[BARKING.]
You sad Magic Man.
Instead, you bummed around Ooo acting like a jerk for 200 years.
Yeah, that's true, except I'm not Magic Man! Now! Ready the Wand of Disbursement! ALL: Ready.
Space dome, open! Oh, snap! [GULPS.]
Magic Man, I give you two choices -- one is total annihilation.
The wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with death.
The second is to use the power of the wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos on an endless journey of wonder and discovery! Wow.
That second one sounds pretty cool.
I mean, yeah, I'm like way into that.
Except -- ohh -- I would really miss my best friend.
His name is Finn.
And I think it would mess him up if I wasn't around.
Wait -- did you say you would miss someone? Yeah.
And that someone would miss you? Yeah, that's me, you dishrags! [GRUNTS.]
[ALL GROAN.]
[SCREAMING.]
[POOF!.]
I win again! Just like always! [GASPS.]
Jakey, no! [GASPS.]
Look.
[GASPS.]
It's the dog.
The one you were prophesied to meet.
I don't care none for that mess! This wouldn't have glomped if you'd just listened to my bro! You bunked up, King of Mars! The wisest, most honest super being of all time just put an innocent dog to deads! You're right, Finn the Human.
My judgment was less than the standard by which I judge my peers.
Of which I have none.
I will retrieve your friend from the 37th dead world.
Ooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaah! Death.
King of Mars.
What's your business? I need this one back.
Hmm.
What will you give me for him? [TWINKLE!.]
[LAUGHS.]
Not this time, your majesty.
[LAUGHS.]
In that case, I offer my immortality.
Deal.
[RATTLE!.]
[BANG!.]
[GROANS.]
Huh? Hey! I'm alive! Yay! King of Mars saved you! [CHEERING.]
Yes, but at what cost? Oh, man.
Should we go get Magic Man? No.
I lost a friend.
I cannot lose my brother, as well.
ALL: Hey, what? Where did they go? Eat my skids! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh, Margles.
FINN: Magic Man! Huh? Bam! [MUFFLED.]
You're back, coward! Go! Get out of here, tiny manticore! Whatevs! I didn't need your pity help! Geez.
What? I am the true coward.
Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude who hides from the light.
Thank you, brave hero.
I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison is shame.
My new prison is shame! What's he saying? He said, "my new prison is shame.
" Well, looks like your new house is done.
[GRUNTS.]
Jake, you want to check out the new house? Nah, don't let me interrupt you.
You two have fun.
I wanna see inside.
[FOOSH!.]
[LAUGHS.]
I love it! Great! [FOOSH!.]
Huh.
This doesn't hurt as bad as it used to.
[FOOSH!.]
Aaaaaaaaaah! Oh, gob! Oh, gob! Oh, gob! Finn! [LAUGHS.]
I'm okay! Hmm.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh! Do the thing that I like.
[SLUUUUUURP!.]
[SQUIRT!.]
[GIGGLES.]
Now do the thing that I like.
[PLOMP!.]
[PLOMP!.]
[PLOMP!.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Classic.
All right, Finn, that's enough.
[FOOSH!.]
Thank you for building my new home, Finn.
I'm so happy.
You want a hug? Yes.
Whoa.
Hold on, mama.
[CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!.]
Okay, bro, tinfoil's on.
You can hug now.
[FOOSH!.]
Bye.
Bye, Finn.
Bye.
[GIGGLES.]
[FOOSH!.]
Looks like your date went pretty good, buddy.
Ah, I don't know.
Was the hug okay? Give me some tips, mang.
Bro, you gotta let things take their natural path.
Look.
Look, let me explain some junk about dating.
Right now you're at tier 1, which is hugging.
But pretty soon, you'll be at tier 2, which is smooching.
Then down the road, you'll make it to tier 5, where she'll let you discover all 15 feet of her long, beautiful stomach.
And after a while, you'll make it to tier 8, where you touch her horn for the very first time.
Very special.
What about tier 15? You stay away from that! Do not do tier 15! Dude, I got no idea what you're talking about.
Don't worry about it, dude.
Just let things naturally move to tier 2.
Oh, and, um you need a shower, dude.
What?! [SNIFFING.]
Oh, gross! Do you think Flame Princess could smell me? - Probably.
- Crup.
'Sup, guys? BOTH: Princess Bubblegum?! What are you doing here? Collecting taxes.
You guys weren't home, so I let myself in.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna take a shower.
Princess, do not inhale! - What? Why? - Just don't! [GRUNTS.]
What's that all about? Ah, he's just smelly from a day of running around with his lady friend.
Ooh! A lady friend.
Do tell.
Uh, I shouldn't say.
It's his business.
Oh, come on.
You can tell me.
That's his personal biz.
You gotta respect a man's p-biz.
Okay, you're right.
I'll respect it.
Flame Princess! He was hanging out with Flame Princess.
What?! And I don't mean to be telling stories out of school, but pretty soon, they're gonna be taking it to tier 2.
No.
This isn't possible.
Oh, it's possible.
I just never thought Flame Princess.
I -- [GRUNTS.]
I have to go.
Morrow! [SHRIEKS.]
Hmm.
Weird.
Guess who's late for their video chat? [GASPS.]
President Porpoise! [CHIRPING.]
[BLAM!.]
No.
No.
Oh, gob.
I thought I'd be ready for this.
Yowwwwwwwwn! [GRUNTS.]
Jake, I'm going to see Flame Princess.
Be back later.
[PANTING.]
Finn! [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Aaaah! Okay, Princess, you need to stop breaking in here.
I have something important to tell you about relationships.
Uh, that's okay, Princess.
I just hope you'll understand.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZES.]
Relationships are like layers of sedimentary rock.
Jake, Flame Princess is waiting for me.
I'm gonna bounce out.
Okay.
Tier 2, baby.
Word.
[GRUNTS.]
BUBBLEGUM: If too much frustration builds, the magma will erupt, causing a catastrophic superstratum of igneous rock to form.
[SNORING.]
What? Where am I? Jake, you're president now.
Oh, my gosh! [APPLAUSE.]
Jake! [MOANING.]
- Wake up! - [GROANING.]
- Jake, where's Finn? - He stepped out.
Will you tell him why he can't see Flame Princess anymore? Oh.
Ohhh! I see what's going on here.
Great.
I cannot stress how important it is that they not see each other.
Oh, man.
PB is totally jealous of Flame Princess! [VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYS.]
Jump.
Punch.
Kick.
Kick.
- 'Sup, man? - Yo, dude.
So, what did PB want? She doesn't want you to see Flame Princess anymore.
She's crazy jealous.
So, you at tier 2 yet? I got about five hugs.
Does that count? Nope! [CHUCKLES.]
Well, still at tier 1.
I know exactly what'll get you to tier 2 -- a sappy poem.
Say something about her spectrum.
Ew! Let's see she's bright.
She's beautiful.
She makes me feel confused.
Like something's filling up my chest.
Like I can't breathe.
Is it because she's so dangerous? Glob, Jake, I-I can't stand it! [SNORING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Inspiratio.
- Finn! - [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Aaaah! Whatcha doin'? Oh.
Uh, hi, Princess.
I'm, uh, writing something for Jake.
Oh.
Well, speaking of Jake, did he explain everything to you? Yeah.
- And you understand? - Yeah, I understand.
Finn, sometimes you want someone and you want to kiss them and be with them, but you can't because responsibility demands sacrifice.
What are you trying to say?! I'm trying to say that you're a hero, Finn.
You're my hero.
So, I'm glad you understand why you can't be with Flame Princess.
[GRUNTS.]
Bubblegum, I can't do this anymore! - What? - Now you like me?! Finn, what are you talking about? What am I talking about?! [SIGHS.]
PB, I was -- [GROANING.]
I was in love with you, okay?! And you didn't love me back.
Now I'm ready to move on, and it's like [GRUNTS.]
you're gonna build me up all over again.
Well, I'm done! I'm done.
Oh, no.
Bacon pancakes, making bacon pancakes Take some bacon, and I'll put it in a pancake Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make Bacon panca-a-a-a-ke Finn?! Jake, where's Finn? Is he with Flame Princess? Back off, Bubblegum.
That's his man's biz.
Is he with her or not?! You heartless monster.
Do you have any idea how much he's cried over you?! Finn deserves to be happy! Even if his bloopin' face gets burned off! You should be ashamed! - You're sick! - What are you -- This isn't about some petty love triangle! Flame Princess is physically unstable! Her elemental matrix can't handle extreme romance.
Glob, if Finn tries to kiss her, she'll burn so hot, she'll melt right through the planet's crust, down through the molten core.
Then she'll be thrown back and forth by gravity until she burns out the world from the inside! Why do you think I had her father keep her locked up?! [GASPS.]
Will you take me to them? [CLICK.]
[CRASH!.]
Faster! FINN: Your wavelengths are my weakness.
Your emissions are what I've been missing.
[FOOSH!.]
[BOTH GIGGLE.]
[SIGHS.]
No.
Aaah! [GROANING.]
Flame Princess?! [PANTING.]
[FOOSH!.]
Flame Princess! [PANTING.]
Finn! Finn, there's no time! You have to -- Are you all right? Finn! [CREAK!.]
[GRUNTING.]
[THUD!.]
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Flame Princess! [GRUNTING.]
It's hot! Wait.
Wait! Don't move.
This is good.
If you stay on the hole for 24.
8 seconds, the reaction will be deprived of oxygen.
She'll go out.
[STRAINING.]
What about Finn? Hey.
[GASPS.]
What's wrong? Please -- say something.
[WHEEZING.]
Please, I need you to be okay.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[SIZZLING.]
[MOANS.]
Huh? [GASPS.]
[STRAINING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[COUGHING.]
Are you okay? I'm okay.
I'm okay.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
She's stabilized.
We're safe for now.
Oh, Finn.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
What? Jealous? Shut up.
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree
[PENGUINS WENK.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time [WHISTLES.]
Hey, friend.
Don't be afraid.
I'm a child like you, running wild and crazy.
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
Hold on.
Wow.
A falling star.
It's too far, though.
Magic! You're welcome.
Hmm.
Ah.
There.
Wait.
Oh, glob.
He is here somewhere, my brothers.
Glob, can you see Magic Man on the sensor? Yes, Gob.
Our little brother is very close.
- Hey, flip me.
- Okay.
I'm gonna activate the thingy that drains his magic juice.
[GROANS.]
My juice! Not flowing right.
Dream on, honey.
You can't catch this.
[PANTING.]
Magic away! [PSHEW!.]
[WHAP!.]
I think I see him.
Yes, I see him, as well.
- Hey, guys.
- BOTH: What, Glob? Nothing.
Never mind.
[PANTING.]
Wait.
Wait.
Shh, shh! Shush! I wasn't -- You hear that? It was totally silent for like a whole second.
Huh.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up battling stuff, we forget to -- [ALL GRUNT.]
[GROANS.]
[GASPS.]
Ooh! [MOANS.]
Waaa zoo! Hey.
Shhhhhh.
[SMACK!.]
ALL: Arise.
Magic Man, you caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars.
We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our utopian super-society.
Now, tell us -- what have you learned in these past 200 years? Are you guys talking to me? You know you made life on Mars a nightmare.
[GROANS.]
Now we must return you to Mars, where vengeance awaits thee.
That's not -- Magic Man! Get up! Did it work? Is he gone? Yep.
[GRUNTS.]
They took my friend to Mars! Fly me there and help me save him! Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't.
You see? The transfer drained me.
I can probably barely float.
So I just got to wait 'til they kill your friend.
See ya! [LAUGHS.]
- No! - Whoa! What do you mean "kill"? They're gonna put him on trial for my crimes.
Ain't nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head -- not even the king of Mars! And once he's dead, my magic juice will return to my body -- flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance.
- Squeeze! - [GROANS.]
I wish I could help except I don't! You succubutt! Come on, let's go to my house Come on, let's go to my house! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANING.]
[THUD!.]
How long have you had this house? Yes, that is true! Well, I bet there's something here that can help me save Jake.
There is, but you'll never make it work.
What?! Where is it?! I don't know! Have you seen my trash palace? Yeah, what's the deal? This place is wrecked.
Ewww! Ew!! What am I stepping in? That's where I blow my nose all day.
Ugh! Yes, welcome to my tower of light.
Everyone is welcome to share this magic kingdom -- squirrels black mold worms poison ivy tiny manticore.
[MUFFLED.]
Help me, you coward! Magic Man, what is your deal, for real? You tell me.
Well, for one, I think this house is a reflection of your sick brain.
Look at this.
Yuck.
Who's this you're standing with in this picture? Memories drift in and out of my mind And the little people get left behind So whatever All right.
Well, I'm gonna keep digging through this stuff 'til I find what you're talking about.
It's downstairs.
- Huh? What? - My special thing.
Whoa! [SCREAMS.]
Holy crepes.
[GROANS.]
Ta-da! Come on.
That's the thing -- my special thing.
A Martian transporter.
[GASPS.]
This can take me to Mars?! Yeah.
My brothers gave it to me when they banished me to Earth.
They thought I'd learn love and use it to go back home.
How do I do it? You put your hands on those thingies and think stuff about people.
But it's broken.
Hasn't worked in 200 years.
But it has to work.
It has to.
For Jake.
[TRANSPORTER POWERS UP.]
Huh-duh?! Yaaaaaaaah! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [LAUGHING.]
Whoa! [TRANSPORTER SHUTS OFF.]
Citizens of Mars, King of Mars today, the most notorious fiend in Martian history stands before us -- Magic Man.
[PANTING.]
[GASPS.]
Stop! [GRUNTING.]
Turn on the dark.
Okay, so we don't have footage of these crimes, but Grod's pretty good at drawing, so "Plague of Shadows.
" Magic Man brought our shadows to life.
They attacked us and ravaged Mars.
Very impressive, Grod.
Thanks, bro.
To the "Plague of the One-ness.
" As we gathered to hold hands and sing our community song, Magic Man cast an evil spell that made our arms grow together.
Much suffering ensued.
And what about that one time when he turned all the water into hair and we all got so thirsty, we drank it? And when we drank it, we went bald? Many of us did not recover and, to this day, hide our loss behind groovy headgear.
Dark off, please.
Magic Man, it bums me out to see this.
I remember when you were really cool, before that night you spent on Olympus Mons with Margles.
[GRUNTS.]
Aw, man! [TAPPING.]
Force field.
What happened, Magic? Why did you go crazy? If you had just learned to care about living things again, you could have come back whenever you wanted.
Well you guys are missing some important details.
I'm Jake the dog.
Listen.
[BARKING.]
You sad Magic Man.
Instead, you bummed around Ooo acting like a jerk for 200 years.
Yeah, that's true, except I'm not Magic Man! Now! Ready the Wand of Disbursement! ALL: Ready.
Space dome, open! Oh, snap! [GULPS.]
Magic Man, I give you two choices -- one is total annihilation.
The wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with death.
The second is to use the power of the wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos on an endless journey of wonder and discovery! Wow.
That second one sounds pretty cool.
I mean, yeah, I'm like way into that.
Except -- ohh -- I would really miss my best friend.
His name is Finn.
And I think it would mess him up if I wasn't around.
Wait -- did you say you would miss someone? Yeah.
And that someone would miss you? Yeah, that's me, you dishrags! [GRUNTS.]
[ALL GROAN.]
[SCREAMING.]
[POOF!.]
I win again! Just like always! [GASPS.]
Jakey, no! [GASPS.]
Look.
[GASPS.]
It's the dog.
The one you were prophesied to meet.
I don't care none for that mess! This wouldn't have glomped if you'd just listened to my bro! You bunked up, King of Mars! The wisest, most honest super being of all time just put an innocent dog to deads! You're right, Finn the Human.
My judgment was less than the standard by which I judge my peers.
Of which I have none.
I will retrieve your friend from the 37th dead world.
Ooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaah! Death.
King of Mars.
What's your business? I need this one back.
Hmm.
What will you give me for him? [TWINKLE!.]
[LAUGHS.]
Not this time, your majesty.
[LAUGHS.]
In that case, I offer my immortality.
Deal.
[RATTLE!.]
[BANG!.]
[GROANS.]
Huh? Hey! I'm alive! Yay! King of Mars saved you! [CHEERING.]
Yes, but at what cost? Oh, man.
Should we go get Magic Man? No.
I lost a friend.
I cannot lose my brother, as well.
ALL: Hey, what? Where did they go? Eat my skids! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh, Margles.
FINN: Magic Man! Huh? Bam! [MUFFLED.]
You're back, coward! Go! Get out of here, tiny manticore! Whatevs! I didn't need your pity help! Geez.
What? I am the true coward.
Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude who hides from the light.
Thank you, brave hero.
I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison is shame.
My new prison is shame! What's he saying? He said, "my new prison is shame.
" Well, looks like your new house is done.
[GRUNTS.]
Jake, you want to check out the new house? Nah, don't let me interrupt you.
You two have fun.
I wanna see inside.
[FOOSH!.]
[LAUGHS.]
I love it! Great! [FOOSH!.]
Huh.
This doesn't hurt as bad as it used to.
[FOOSH!.]
Aaaaaaaaaah! Oh, gob! Oh, gob! Oh, gob! Finn! [LAUGHS.]
I'm okay! Hmm.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh! Do the thing that I like.
[SLUUUUUURP!.]
[SQUIRT!.]
[GIGGLES.]
Now do the thing that I like.
[PLOMP!.]
[PLOMP!.]
[PLOMP!.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Classic.
All right, Finn, that's enough.
[FOOSH!.]
Thank you for building my new home, Finn.
I'm so happy.
You want a hug? Yes.
Whoa.
Hold on, mama.
[CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!.]
Okay, bro, tinfoil's on.
You can hug now.
[FOOSH!.]
Bye.
Bye, Finn.
Bye.
[GIGGLES.]
[FOOSH!.]
Looks like your date went pretty good, buddy.
Ah, I don't know.
Was the hug okay? Give me some tips, mang.
Bro, you gotta let things take their natural path.
Look.
Look, let me explain some junk about dating.
Right now you're at tier 1, which is hugging.
But pretty soon, you'll be at tier 2, which is smooching.
Then down the road, you'll make it to tier 5, where she'll let you discover all 15 feet of her long, beautiful stomach.
And after a while, you'll make it to tier 8, where you touch her horn for the very first time.
Very special.
What about tier 15? You stay away from that! Do not do tier 15! Dude, I got no idea what you're talking about.
Don't worry about it, dude.
Just let things naturally move to tier 2.
Oh, and, um you need a shower, dude.
What?! [SNIFFING.]
Oh, gross! Do you think Flame Princess could smell me? - Probably.
- Crup.
'Sup, guys? BOTH: Princess Bubblegum?! What are you doing here? Collecting taxes.
You guys weren't home, so I let myself in.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna take a shower.
Princess, do not inhale! - What? Why? - Just don't! [GRUNTS.]
What's that all about? Ah, he's just smelly from a day of running around with his lady friend.
Ooh! A lady friend.
Do tell.
Uh, I shouldn't say.
It's his business.
Oh, come on.
You can tell me.
That's his personal biz.
You gotta respect a man's p-biz.
Okay, you're right.
I'll respect it.
Flame Princess! He was hanging out with Flame Princess.
What?! And I don't mean to be telling stories out of school, but pretty soon, they're gonna be taking it to tier 2.
No.
This isn't possible.
Oh, it's possible.
I just never thought Flame Princess.
I -- [GRUNTS.]
I have to go.
Morrow! [SHRIEKS.]
Hmm.
Weird.
Guess who's late for their video chat? [GASPS.]
President Porpoise! [CHIRPING.]
[BLAM!.]
No.
No.
Oh, gob.
I thought I'd be ready for this.
Yowwwwwwwwn! [GRUNTS.]
Jake, I'm going to see Flame Princess.
Be back later.
[PANTING.]
Finn! [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Aaaah! Okay, Princess, you need to stop breaking in here.
I have something important to tell you about relationships.
Uh, that's okay, Princess.
I just hope you'll understand.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZES.]
Relationships are like layers of sedimentary rock.
Jake, Flame Princess is waiting for me.
I'm gonna bounce out.
Okay.
Tier 2, baby.
Word.
[GRUNTS.]
BUBBLEGUM: If too much frustration builds, the magma will erupt, causing a catastrophic superstratum of igneous rock to form.
[SNORING.]
What? Where am I? Jake, you're president now.
Oh, my gosh! [APPLAUSE.]
Jake! [MOANING.]
- Wake up! - [GROANING.]
- Jake, where's Finn? - He stepped out.
Will you tell him why he can't see Flame Princess anymore? Oh.
Ohhh! I see what's going on here.
Great.
I cannot stress how important it is that they not see each other.
Oh, man.
PB is totally jealous of Flame Princess! [VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYS.]
Jump.
Punch.
Kick.
Kick.
- 'Sup, man? - Yo, dude.
So, what did PB want? She doesn't want you to see Flame Princess anymore.
She's crazy jealous.
So, you at tier 2 yet? I got about five hugs.
Does that count? Nope! [CHUCKLES.]
Well, still at tier 1.
I know exactly what'll get you to tier 2 -- a sappy poem.
Say something about her spectrum.
Ew! Let's see she's bright.
She's beautiful.
She makes me feel confused.
Like something's filling up my chest.
Like I can't breathe.
Is it because she's so dangerous? Glob, Jake, I-I can't stand it! [SNORING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Inspiratio.
- Finn! - [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Aaaah! Whatcha doin'? Oh.
Uh, hi, Princess.
I'm, uh, writing something for Jake.
Oh.
Well, speaking of Jake, did he explain everything to you? Yeah.
- And you understand? - Yeah, I understand.
Finn, sometimes you want someone and you want to kiss them and be with them, but you can't because responsibility demands sacrifice.
What are you trying to say?! I'm trying to say that you're a hero, Finn.
You're my hero.
So, I'm glad you understand why you can't be with Flame Princess.
[GRUNTS.]
Bubblegum, I can't do this anymore! - What? - Now you like me?! Finn, what are you talking about? What am I talking about?! [SIGHS.]
PB, I was -- [GROANING.]
I was in love with you, okay?! And you didn't love me back.
Now I'm ready to move on, and it's like [GRUNTS.]
you're gonna build me up all over again.
Well, I'm done! I'm done.
Oh, no.
Bacon pancakes, making bacon pancakes Take some bacon, and I'll put it in a pancake Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make Bacon panca-a-a-a-ke Finn?! Jake, where's Finn? Is he with Flame Princess? Back off, Bubblegum.
That's his man's biz.
Is he with her or not?! You heartless monster.
Do you have any idea how much he's cried over you?! Finn deserves to be happy! Even if his bloopin' face gets burned off! You should be ashamed! - You're sick! - What are you -- This isn't about some petty love triangle! Flame Princess is physically unstable! Her elemental matrix can't handle extreme romance.
Glob, if Finn tries to kiss her, she'll burn so hot, she'll melt right through the planet's crust, down through the molten core.
Then she'll be thrown back and forth by gravity until she burns out the world from the inside! Why do you think I had her father keep her locked up?! [GASPS.]
Will you take me to them? [CLICK.]
[CRASH!.]
Faster! FINN: Your wavelengths are my weakness.
Your emissions are what I've been missing.
[FOOSH!.]
[BOTH GIGGLE.]
[SIGHS.]
No.
Aaah! [GROANING.]
Flame Princess?! [PANTING.]
[FOOSH!.]
Flame Princess! [PANTING.]
Finn! Finn, there's no time! You have to -- Are you all right? Finn! [CREAK!.]
[GRUNTING.]
[THUD!.]
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Flame Princess! [GRUNTING.]
It's hot! Wait.
Wait! Don't move.
This is good.
If you stay on the hole for 24.
8 seconds, the reaction will be deprived of oxygen.
She'll go out.
[STRAINING.]
What about Finn? Hey.
[GASPS.]
What's wrong? Please -- say something.
[WHEEZING.]
Please, I need you to be okay.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[SIZZLING.]
[MOANS.]
Huh? [GASPS.]
[STRAINING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[COUGHING.]
Are you okay? I'm okay.
I'm okay.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
She's stabilized.
We're safe for now.
Oh, Finn.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
What? Jealous? Shut up.
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree