Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s04e21 Episode Script
Who Would Win
[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time JAKE: Whatcha think? FINN: I can make that driz, no problem.
JAKE: It's crazy far, man.
FINN: Nah, that's just a perspecto illusion.
It looks far 'cause the cliff's lower.
JAKE: Eh, go for it.
FINN: Whoo! Shoot! JAKE: [GRUNTS.]
FINN: Almost.
JAKE: Not really.
FINN: What?! Watch me, fool.
Hup! [SCREAMS.]
Whoo! I did it! Sike! [SMACKS LIPS.]
Hey, you know what? This is cool just having bro time for once.
JAKE: What, like no ladies? FINN: Or dudes or whatevs.
It's just a chore sometimes.
JAKE: Yeah, two people is mad efficient.
FINN: Whoa! JAKE: It's a beach brawl! FINN: Looks like they're trying to drown a barn.
JAKE: That's not a barn.
That's a dude! [ROARS.]
FINN: Holy fizzle.
What's going on here, tough boy? What is that huge dude? He's the farm, the legendary fighter of the shiney isles.
I came here to participate in his open challenge, but this mother can't be beat! Give up, worms! My fight power is supreme! I'm too freaking legendary for you! [ANIMALS SCREECHING.]
ALL: [CHANTING.]
Train! Train! Train! FINN: Whoa! Train! Train! Train! Train! I love you, the train! You're almost as legendary as the farm, the train! The train is gonna smack you down on his tracks! Whoo! Your caboose is mine! Choo-choo! Choo-choo! FINN: Oh, my glob.
Choo! Ow! My legs are backwards! [GROANS.]
Why? Ohh! You're mean! [PBHT!.]
FINN: Did you just die? No.
The train will chug on.
My friend makes bionic legs.
I'll be better than before.
FINN: [GASPS.]
I want bionic legs! Who's your friend? Yeah, right.
It's secret! [GRUNTS.]
Don't follow me! [GRUNTING.]
Train can do this.
JAKE: You don't want bionic legs.
It ain't natchy.
FINN: I don't care about natchy.
JAKE: Let's discuss this later.
[ALL GROANING.]
You guys want to fight me? FINN: You think we can beat him? JAKE: Yeah way, we can't.
He's the ultimate! FINN: But if we beat him, we'll be crazy legends.
JAKE: Man, I already am a legend in other aspects of life.
Third highest score in "kompy's kastle," brah.
Third.
In the candy kingdom.
FINN: Jake, that's your legend.
This could be our legend! Brogend! JAKE: Okay, how are we gonna beat him, then? FINN: Train! JAKE: He can't even walk.
FINN: No, man.
"Train up," like "get ripped!" JAKE: Yeah, I was just kidding.
Let's destroy that guy! FINN: We're coming back for you, the farm! After we train! [COUGHS.]
Yeah, that's cool.
FINN: We're gonna annihilate you, the farm! Mm-kay.
FINN: I'm gonna do a finishing move on you!! All right! Yeah! [LAUGHS.]
Come on, Jake! JAKE: Ugh.
[COUGHS.]
FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Huh! Hyah! JAKE: Let's see your chokey brokey style.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[STRAINED.]
Nice one.
FINN: Yes.
JAKE: Now watch my Something style.
Hyah! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
Huh? JAKE: [GRUNTING.]
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
FINN: Jake? You're playing "kompy's kastle"? JAKE: Huh? Whoo! UhYes.
FINN: Winning this battle could take our reputation to a whole new level! JAKE: Look, I'm a full-grown dog of my own, and I need to play "kompy's kastle" every day so I can maintain my rank.
FINN: SoYou don't care about fighting the farm? JAKE: I never really take anything seriously.
Except "kompy's kastle.
" FINN: Hy-ah! JAKE: Komp-y-y-y!! [BEEPING.]
I'm gonna break every bone in your body, then heal you later with that magical goo we got from the cyclops's eye.
[CREAK!.]
Aah! FINN: Ouch.
JAKE: Apologize! FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Never! [GRUNTING.]
JAKE: I'm gonna turn up the juice! FINN: And I'm gonna drink it! JAKE: [GASPS.]
My little face! [SQUISH!.]
Ow! [GRUNTING.]
Where are you? Huh? Huh? FINN: [CHUCKLES.]
JAKE: Huh? FINN: Apologize for not taking training seriously! [THUD! THUD!.]
JAKE: Come out, you chicken nug! [CR-R-R-R-R-R-EAK!.]
Ow.
[CREAK!.]
FINN: [GROANS.]
JAKE: Apologize to "kompy's kastle"! FINN: [WEAKLY.]
No.
You apologize for not taking trainingSeriously.
[HAWKS, SPITS.]
JAKE: Ugh, gross! [SPLAT!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[CRASH!.]
FINN: [LAUGHS WEAKLY.]
[CREAKING.]
[BOTH GROAN.]
JAKE: Ow! Aah! My eyes! Cheap move, you butt rag! FINN: You You're the cheap move! Huh? Pants! I'm really gonna wipe you now.
[CREAK!.]
JAKE: Bring it on, bro! FINN: [GASPS.]
[SQUISH!.]
[CHOMP!.]
JAKE: Ou-u-ch! Ow! Ow!! No biteys! [GROWLS.]
[BARKING.]
FINN: I'm gonna down the farm without you! JAKE: I'm gonna knock down the farm just so you'll never know the taste of downing the farm! [SNORING.]
FINN: [WEAKLY.]
Yo, guess what? Guess what, homey? I put in the time.
I'm-a make you mine.
[SIGHS.]
FINN: Yeah, that's right.
Come and get this.
[YAWNS.]
[SMACKS LIPS.]
So, what -- both at the same time? I'm cool.
You're gonna fight this, the farm? [LAUGHS.]
Okay.
FINN: Just me.
I don't need this clown town.
JAKE: The only way you're gonna win is if you use your cheap moves.
FINN: [YAWNS.]
[SNORES.]
JAKE: Hey, come on.
You got to fight the dude.
[CRASH!.]
FINN: [GASPS.]
I can't see! Walk me to the light! JAKE: Yeah, that's what you get.
[CRASH!.]
[ANIMALS SCREECH.]
FINN: Cloud looks like a car.
[BOTH GASP.]
Awaken to your dream, finn and Jake.
FINN: Whoa! Who are you? I am the dream warrior.
I've summoned you here to hang with me in your together dream.
FINN: Are you gonna show us a move to beat the farm? First, listen.
Then wake up.
FINN: All right.
I have cheap cars.
My cars are che-e-e-ap.
BOTH: My cars are cheap.
But they drive bad when I turn out the lights! BOTH: Turn out the lights.
These sweatpants have another name.
BOTH: Another name.
FINN: Yeah, don't you always call sweatpants "give up on life" pants, Jake? JAKE: I do, because peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house, even if it's just for ice cream or t.
P.
Or whatevs.
Two shiny golden apples, ripe enough to bite! BOTH: Bite! [CHOMPS.]
That's all I got to say for now.
Get lost! JAKE: What is going on here, dream warrior? FINN: Yeah, what's this all about? Nap's over! Sorry! [BOTH YELP.]
FINN: Whoa.
That was a good nap.
JAKE: Hey, did you dream about dream warrior? FINN: Yeah.
What was he trying to tell us exactly? JAKE: I don't know.
I didn't get it.
But listen, man.
I'm sorry I got mad at you.
Who cares about my high score in "kompy"? It ain't important.
FINN: No, man.
It is important.
Being the third best at something is math and deserves respect, not like I did to "kompy.
" Anyway, I think we both got cranky after all that training.
JAKE: Well, good thing we're rested, 'cause now we can beat this beast.
FINN: Yeah! Oh, hey! Look! [CROWD CHEERING.]
JAKE: The dudes came back to watch us fight! FINN: A'ight.
This is it.
Let's use what we learned in training.
JAKE: Uh All we did was fight dirty with cheap -- wait.
My cars are che-e-ap.
Che-e-ap.
JAKE: Dream warrior was telling us which cheap moves to use on the farm! Headlights mean eyes! FINN: Mud in the eyes! JAKE: Give up on life pants! FINN: Pull down his pants like you did to moi! JAKE: Two golden apples! FINN: Mm I think I know what that means.
JAKE: Well, sure, I can make a wild guess.
FINN: You ready, man? JAKE: Yeah, dude! Put your pants on.
FINN: [DEEP VOICE.]
Okay.
[SQUISH!.]
[CREAK!.]
[BOTH CHOMP.]
[CHEERING.]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree JAKE: Ready? Yes.
JAKE: [GRUNTING.]
[FART!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[WHIRL!.]
FINN: That was awesome! All right, all right, my turn.
[GRUNTING.]
[BURPS.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[ZAP!.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
You guys are full of magic air.
JAKE: [GASPS.]
[FART!.]
FINN: Gross! [SMACK!.]
No! Princess? YouOkay? Yeah.
It's justThe air smells bad from your magic tricks, and now I feel sad.
I left all my scented candles at the castle.
They'd really cut through the magic stank.
JAKE: Just go back to the fire kingdom and get them -- problem solved.
[SIGHS.]
Then I'll have to see my dad.
I'm still mad at him for imprisoning me in that lantern.
So unfair! [SCREAMS.]
FINN: UhWe can go get them? Really? That would be really nice.
But don't let my pops see you.
I don't want his majesty thinking I need anything from him.
[FART!.]
JAKE: It ain't me! [FART!.]
ALL: Whoa! [FART! FART!.]
Oh! [FART!.]
JAKE: Flambo! For a second I thought the princess was farting.
FINN: Flambo, we need you to cast "flame shield" on us.
All right! [SPEAKING INCANTATION.]
[TWINKLE!.]
[BUBBLING.]
FINN: These candles must be they.
JAKE: [SNIFFS.]
They smell like an old lady's bathroom.
FINN: Hey! Don't disrespect my lady! JAKE: I say it as a compliment! Like it reminds me of my grandma.
I love my grandma.
No one come-s-s-s here.
FINN: [GASPS.]
Not s-since flame princes-s-s fled the cas-s-tle.
Now gues-s-s what we're gonna kill flame king with.
FINN: [GASPS.]
A conspirator with a hiss voice! How aboutWater? Even wors-s-e! We'll us-s-e ic-c-e! FINN: And a conspirator with an untied shoe! Ice? Why ice? 'Cause it's more painful, you s-s-impleton! Cold as ic-c-e ball-s-s! A perfect death for the flame king! [LAUGHING.]
FINN: [GASPS.]
Did you hear that? JAKE: [SNIFFING.]
FINN: Jake, come on! We got to stop those guys from killing flame princess' dad! JAKE: Right, right.
FINN: Dirt bags! Where'd they go? JAKE: [GASPS.]
[CREAKING.]
Hey, is that new? Yeah, I think it is.
Yes, it is new.
Hmm, what do you guys think of this painting? I like it.
Hey, is this one of those paintings where the eyes follow you? FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Hmm.
Hmm.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I don't want to miss snack time.
Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! ALL: Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! [BOTH SIGH.]
JAKE: Now what? and most unnatural murder-s-s.
FINN: Hear that? It sounds like a voice with a hiss.
JAKE: The kind we are looking for! The s-serpent that did s-sting FINN: Stop! thy father's life, now wears hi-s-s crown-s-s! JAKE: Dude, the voice! FINN: We must follow the voice! [CLANK!.]
[CLANK!.]
To die, to s-sleep, to s-sleep, perchance to dream FINN: Which way is the hiss voice coming from? Aye, there's the rub, for in that s-sleep of death JAKE: This way! what dream-s-s may come.
FINN: Which way? I s-seem to be s-saying a lot about our s-super-s-secret plan JAKE: To the left! You! [CLANK!.]
BOTH: You! You! You! BOTH: Double you! Double you! JAKE: I don't think it's them.
BOTH: Double you! Double you! JAKE: Whoa! [THUD!.]
FINN: Jake! JAKE: I'm okay! I think I hear that hissing voice down this way! FINN: Whoa! [THUD!.]
Why didn't you catch me? JAKE: Oops! Tell me next time.
I can't think in the future.
Vent ahead.
FINN: Jake, I want to see.
[CHEWING.]
FINN: No hissing.
JAKE: No untied shoe.
Vent.
[HISS.]
This needs something more! Yes! [HISS.]
Yes! That's the [HISS.]
Stuff! FINN: Whoa! It's him! [CLANK!.]
Hmm? My bluebies! [HISS.]
JAKE: You buffoon! Where's your partner with the untied shoe? What partner? What are you blueberries [HISS.]
talking about? FINN: Give it up, man! I heard your hiss voice! I don't have a [HISS.]
voice! There's a [HISS.]
snake on your shoulder! FINN: What? [HISS.]
FINN: Aah! JAKE: Hmm.
[HISS.]
JAKE: Suffering [HISS.]
JAKE: Succotash! Now to chop you two big blueberries into small, bite-sized blueberries! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
Shakespeare.
Five minutes to curtain, everyone! Five minutes! FINN: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [CLANKING.]
Ooh! [PANTING.]
Oh! Pfft! Actors! FINN: What's going on with the costumes? This is a theater troupe! We're getting ready to perform for the king! Everyone in the kingdom shall be in attendance! Of course, you know all this, being fellow actors from the exact same troupe.
JAKE: I have an idea.
We'll go onstage, act like two conspirators.
You will have one shoe untied, I will talk with a hiss voice.
We'll talk about how we want to kill the king.
As we do this, we'll study the faces of the audience and look for guilty reactions.
FINN: That's brilliant! JAKE: Thanks! It's an original idea by me.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
FINN: Ahem! Hey, conspirator! JAKE: Hey, co-conspirator! FINN: Let's talk about how we're gonna kill the king! JAKE: Shh! S-somebody might hear our evil plot! Man, I am so lost.
JAKE: Psst! The audience! Uh, uh, uh, uh Uh, uh [SNEEZES.]
JAKE: You think that's one of them? FINN: Maybe.
Let's keep going.
So, what are you packing? JAKE: Water, man -- enough of it to put out the king's fire! Uh, uhHmm.
[CHEWING.]
FINN: I think he's starting to crack.
Water? You know what's even more painful? If we pour ice in his ear! That's how we'll kill the flame king! Pbht! Kill the flame king? This is treason disguised as a play! Guards, seize them! FINN: What?! No! [BOTH GRUNT.]
Please! We were trying to warn you about assassins! Hmm.
Search them! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
Huh? [SNIFFS.]
Sire, it's your daughter's scented candles! FINN: I-I-I Sickos! Off with their heads! JAKE: Whoa, what?! [CHEERING.]
FINN: No, please! S-stay s-still.
FINN: "S-still"? [LAUGHS.]
FINN: Untied shoelace? [GASPS.]
It's them! S-so long, s-suckers! FINN: Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! [SCREAMING.]
Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! [CLEARS THROAT.]
We found 'em! The executioners are the real king-killers! S-silence! Wait, wait, waitThat voice.
Guards, take off their hoods! Aah! My identity! [HISS.]
Ugh! [GROWLS.]
Furnius and torcho! HelloUncle! [CROWD GASPS, MURMURS.]
Arrest the executioners! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
HmmI thought I had you two extinguished.
You cannot quench the flame-s-s-s of revenge! You snuffed out our father to become king! Oh, yeahHa ha.
Take them to the punishment room! I'll des-s-Troy all of you Release me! with ic-c-c-e! FINN: Wait, so you -- you extinguished their dad? Mm-hmm.
FINN: AndEveryone is evil here? [WHOOSH!.]
Mm-hmm -- all evil.
FINN: ThenIs flame princessEvil? Or maybe chaotic neutral? She's evil.
FINN: OkaySo your daughter's evil -- we've established that.
But do you think if a good guy really liked herCould he change her to good? Hmm, well, there'd be penalties to her experience if she acted out of alignment, butYes.
Someone could change her.
Change her to good? [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
FINN: Aww! [BREATHING SOFTLY.]
[SIZZLE!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
Evil, evil, evil, evil.
Evil, evil, evilEvil! Aah! Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time JAKE: Whatcha think? FINN: I can make that driz, no problem.
JAKE: It's crazy far, man.
FINN: Nah, that's just a perspecto illusion.
It looks far 'cause the cliff's lower.
JAKE: Eh, go for it.
FINN: Whoo! Shoot! JAKE: [GRUNTS.]
FINN: Almost.
JAKE: Not really.
FINN: What?! Watch me, fool.
Hup! [SCREAMS.]
Whoo! I did it! Sike! [SMACKS LIPS.]
Hey, you know what? This is cool just having bro time for once.
JAKE: What, like no ladies? FINN: Or dudes or whatevs.
It's just a chore sometimes.
JAKE: Yeah, two people is mad efficient.
FINN: Whoa! JAKE: It's a beach brawl! FINN: Looks like they're trying to drown a barn.
JAKE: That's not a barn.
That's a dude! [ROARS.]
FINN: Holy fizzle.
What's going on here, tough boy? What is that huge dude? He's the farm, the legendary fighter of the shiney isles.
I came here to participate in his open challenge, but this mother can't be beat! Give up, worms! My fight power is supreme! I'm too freaking legendary for you! [ANIMALS SCREECHING.]
ALL: [CHANTING.]
Train! Train! Train! FINN: Whoa! Train! Train! Train! Train! I love you, the train! You're almost as legendary as the farm, the train! The train is gonna smack you down on his tracks! Whoo! Your caboose is mine! Choo-choo! Choo-choo! FINN: Oh, my glob.
Choo! Ow! My legs are backwards! [GROANS.]
Why? Ohh! You're mean! [PBHT!.]
FINN: Did you just die? No.
The train will chug on.
My friend makes bionic legs.
I'll be better than before.
FINN: [GASPS.]
I want bionic legs! Who's your friend? Yeah, right.
It's secret! [GRUNTS.]
Don't follow me! [GRUNTING.]
Train can do this.
JAKE: You don't want bionic legs.
It ain't natchy.
FINN: I don't care about natchy.
JAKE: Let's discuss this later.
[ALL GROANING.]
You guys want to fight me? FINN: You think we can beat him? JAKE: Yeah way, we can't.
He's the ultimate! FINN: But if we beat him, we'll be crazy legends.
JAKE: Man, I already am a legend in other aspects of life.
Third highest score in "kompy's kastle," brah.
Third.
In the candy kingdom.
FINN: Jake, that's your legend.
This could be our legend! Brogend! JAKE: Okay, how are we gonna beat him, then? FINN: Train! JAKE: He can't even walk.
FINN: No, man.
"Train up," like "get ripped!" JAKE: Yeah, I was just kidding.
Let's destroy that guy! FINN: We're coming back for you, the farm! After we train! [COUGHS.]
Yeah, that's cool.
FINN: We're gonna annihilate you, the farm! Mm-kay.
FINN: I'm gonna do a finishing move on you!! All right! Yeah! [LAUGHS.]
Come on, Jake! JAKE: Ugh.
[COUGHS.]
FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Huh! Hyah! JAKE: Let's see your chokey brokey style.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[STRAINED.]
Nice one.
FINN: Yes.
JAKE: Now watch my Something style.
Hyah! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
Huh? JAKE: [GRUNTING.]
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
FINN: Jake? You're playing "kompy's kastle"? JAKE: Huh? Whoo! UhYes.
FINN: Winning this battle could take our reputation to a whole new level! JAKE: Look, I'm a full-grown dog of my own, and I need to play "kompy's kastle" every day so I can maintain my rank.
FINN: SoYou don't care about fighting the farm? JAKE: I never really take anything seriously.
Except "kompy's kastle.
" FINN: Hy-ah! JAKE: Komp-y-y-y!! [BEEPING.]
I'm gonna break every bone in your body, then heal you later with that magical goo we got from the cyclops's eye.
[CREAK!.]
Aah! FINN: Ouch.
JAKE: Apologize! FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Never! [GRUNTING.]
JAKE: I'm gonna turn up the juice! FINN: And I'm gonna drink it! JAKE: [GASPS.]
My little face! [SQUISH!.]
Ow! [GRUNTING.]
Where are you? Huh? Huh? FINN: [CHUCKLES.]
JAKE: Huh? FINN: Apologize for not taking training seriously! [THUD! THUD!.]
JAKE: Come out, you chicken nug! [CR-R-R-R-R-R-EAK!.]
Ow.
[CREAK!.]
FINN: [GROANS.]
JAKE: Apologize to "kompy's kastle"! FINN: [WEAKLY.]
No.
You apologize for not taking trainingSeriously.
[HAWKS, SPITS.]
JAKE: Ugh, gross! [SPLAT!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[CRASH!.]
FINN: [LAUGHS WEAKLY.]
[CREAKING.]
[BOTH GROAN.]
JAKE: Ow! Aah! My eyes! Cheap move, you butt rag! FINN: You You're the cheap move! Huh? Pants! I'm really gonna wipe you now.
[CREAK!.]
JAKE: Bring it on, bro! FINN: [GASPS.]
[SQUISH!.]
[CHOMP!.]
JAKE: Ou-u-ch! Ow! Ow!! No biteys! [GROWLS.]
[BARKING.]
FINN: I'm gonna down the farm without you! JAKE: I'm gonna knock down the farm just so you'll never know the taste of downing the farm! [SNORING.]
FINN: [WEAKLY.]
Yo, guess what? Guess what, homey? I put in the time.
I'm-a make you mine.
[SIGHS.]
FINN: Yeah, that's right.
Come and get this.
[YAWNS.]
[SMACKS LIPS.]
So, what -- both at the same time? I'm cool.
You're gonna fight this, the farm? [LAUGHS.]
Okay.
FINN: Just me.
I don't need this clown town.
JAKE: The only way you're gonna win is if you use your cheap moves.
FINN: [YAWNS.]
[SNORES.]
JAKE: Hey, come on.
You got to fight the dude.
[CRASH!.]
FINN: [GASPS.]
I can't see! Walk me to the light! JAKE: Yeah, that's what you get.
[CRASH!.]
[ANIMALS SCREECH.]
FINN: Cloud looks like a car.
[BOTH GASP.]
Awaken to your dream, finn and Jake.
FINN: Whoa! Who are you? I am the dream warrior.
I've summoned you here to hang with me in your together dream.
FINN: Are you gonna show us a move to beat the farm? First, listen.
Then wake up.
FINN: All right.
I have cheap cars.
My cars are che-e-e-ap.
BOTH: My cars are cheap.
But they drive bad when I turn out the lights! BOTH: Turn out the lights.
These sweatpants have another name.
BOTH: Another name.
FINN: Yeah, don't you always call sweatpants "give up on life" pants, Jake? JAKE: I do, because peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house, even if it's just for ice cream or t.
P.
Or whatevs.
Two shiny golden apples, ripe enough to bite! BOTH: Bite! [CHOMPS.]
That's all I got to say for now.
Get lost! JAKE: What is going on here, dream warrior? FINN: Yeah, what's this all about? Nap's over! Sorry! [BOTH YELP.]
FINN: Whoa.
That was a good nap.
JAKE: Hey, did you dream about dream warrior? FINN: Yeah.
What was he trying to tell us exactly? JAKE: I don't know.
I didn't get it.
But listen, man.
I'm sorry I got mad at you.
Who cares about my high score in "kompy"? It ain't important.
FINN: No, man.
It is important.
Being the third best at something is math and deserves respect, not like I did to "kompy.
" Anyway, I think we both got cranky after all that training.
JAKE: Well, good thing we're rested, 'cause now we can beat this beast.
FINN: Yeah! Oh, hey! Look! [CROWD CHEERING.]
JAKE: The dudes came back to watch us fight! FINN: A'ight.
This is it.
Let's use what we learned in training.
JAKE: Uh All we did was fight dirty with cheap -- wait.
My cars are che-e-ap.
Che-e-ap.
JAKE: Dream warrior was telling us which cheap moves to use on the farm! Headlights mean eyes! FINN: Mud in the eyes! JAKE: Give up on life pants! FINN: Pull down his pants like you did to moi! JAKE: Two golden apples! FINN: Mm I think I know what that means.
JAKE: Well, sure, I can make a wild guess.
FINN: You ready, man? JAKE: Yeah, dude! Put your pants on.
FINN: [DEEP VOICE.]
Okay.
[SQUISH!.]
[CREAK!.]
[BOTH CHOMP.]
[CHEERING.]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree JAKE: Ready? Yes.
JAKE: [GRUNTING.]
[FART!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[WHIRL!.]
FINN: That was awesome! All right, all right, my turn.
[GRUNTING.]
[BURPS.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[ZAP!.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
You guys are full of magic air.
JAKE: [GASPS.]
[FART!.]
FINN: Gross! [SMACK!.]
No! Princess? YouOkay? Yeah.
It's justThe air smells bad from your magic tricks, and now I feel sad.
I left all my scented candles at the castle.
They'd really cut through the magic stank.
JAKE: Just go back to the fire kingdom and get them -- problem solved.
[SIGHS.]
Then I'll have to see my dad.
I'm still mad at him for imprisoning me in that lantern.
So unfair! [SCREAMS.]
FINN: UhWe can go get them? Really? That would be really nice.
But don't let my pops see you.
I don't want his majesty thinking I need anything from him.
[FART!.]
JAKE: It ain't me! [FART!.]
ALL: Whoa! [FART! FART!.]
Oh! [FART!.]
JAKE: Flambo! For a second I thought the princess was farting.
FINN: Flambo, we need you to cast "flame shield" on us.
All right! [SPEAKING INCANTATION.]
[TWINKLE!.]
[BUBBLING.]
FINN: These candles must be they.
JAKE: [SNIFFS.]
They smell like an old lady's bathroom.
FINN: Hey! Don't disrespect my lady! JAKE: I say it as a compliment! Like it reminds me of my grandma.
I love my grandma.
No one come-s-s-s here.
FINN: [GASPS.]
Not s-since flame princes-s-s fled the cas-s-tle.
Now gues-s-s what we're gonna kill flame king with.
FINN: [GASPS.]
A conspirator with a hiss voice! How aboutWater? Even wors-s-e! We'll us-s-e ic-c-e! FINN: And a conspirator with an untied shoe! Ice? Why ice? 'Cause it's more painful, you s-s-impleton! Cold as ic-c-e ball-s-s! A perfect death for the flame king! [LAUGHING.]
FINN: [GASPS.]
Did you hear that? JAKE: [SNIFFING.]
FINN: Jake, come on! We got to stop those guys from killing flame princess' dad! JAKE: Right, right.
FINN: Dirt bags! Where'd they go? JAKE: [GASPS.]
[CREAKING.]
Hey, is that new? Yeah, I think it is.
Yes, it is new.
Hmm, what do you guys think of this painting? I like it.
Hey, is this one of those paintings where the eyes follow you? FINN: [GRUNTS.]
Hmm.
Hmm.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I don't want to miss snack time.
Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! ALL: Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! [BOTH SIGH.]
JAKE: Now what? and most unnatural murder-s-s.
FINN: Hear that? It sounds like a voice with a hiss.
JAKE: The kind we are looking for! The s-serpent that did s-sting FINN: Stop! thy father's life, now wears hi-s-s crown-s-s! JAKE: Dude, the voice! FINN: We must follow the voice! [CLANK!.]
[CLANK!.]
To die, to s-sleep, to s-sleep, perchance to dream FINN: Which way is the hiss voice coming from? Aye, there's the rub, for in that s-sleep of death JAKE: This way! what dream-s-s may come.
FINN: Which way? I s-seem to be s-saying a lot about our s-super-s-secret plan JAKE: To the left! You! [CLANK!.]
BOTH: You! You! You! BOTH: Double you! Double you! JAKE: I don't think it's them.
BOTH: Double you! Double you! JAKE: Whoa! [THUD!.]
FINN: Jake! JAKE: I'm okay! I think I hear that hissing voice down this way! FINN: Whoa! [THUD!.]
Why didn't you catch me? JAKE: Oops! Tell me next time.
I can't think in the future.
Vent ahead.
FINN: Jake, I want to see.
[CHEWING.]
FINN: No hissing.
JAKE: No untied shoe.
Vent.
[HISS.]
This needs something more! Yes! [HISS.]
Yes! That's the [HISS.]
Stuff! FINN: Whoa! It's him! [CLANK!.]
Hmm? My bluebies! [HISS.]
JAKE: You buffoon! Where's your partner with the untied shoe? What partner? What are you blueberries [HISS.]
talking about? FINN: Give it up, man! I heard your hiss voice! I don't have a [HISS.]
voice! There's a [HISS.]
snake on your shoulder! FINN: What? [HISS.]
FINN: Aah! JAKE: Hmm.
[HISS.]
JAKE: Suffering [HISS.]
JAKE: Succotash! Now to chop you two big blueberries into small, bite-sized blueberries! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
Shakespeare.
Five minutes to curtain, everyone! Five minutes! FINN: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [CLANKING.]
Ooh! [PANTING.]
Oh! Pfft! Actors! FINN: What's going on with the costumes? This is a theater troupe! We're getting ready to perform for the king! Everyone in the kingdom shall be in attendance! Of course, you know all this, being fellow actors from the exact same troupe.
JAKE: I have an idea.
We'll go onstage, act like two conspirators.
You will have one shoe untied, I will talk with a hiss voice.
We'll talk about how we want to kill the king.
As we do this, we'll study the faces of the audience and look for guilty reactions.
FINN: That's brilliant! JAKE: Thanks! It's an original idea by me.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
FINN: Ahem! Hey, conspirator! JAKE: Hey, co-conspirator! FINN: Let's talk about how we're gonna kill the king! JAKE: Shh! S-somebody might hear our evil plot! Man, I am so lost.
JAKE: Psst! The audience! Uh, uh, uh, uh Uh, uh [SNEEZES.]
JAKE: You think that's one of them? FINN: Maybe.
Let's keep going.
So, what are you packing? JAKE: Water, man -- enough of it to put out the king's fire! Uh, uhHmm.
[CHEWING.]
FINN: I think he's starting to crack.
Water? You know what's even more painful? If we pour ice in his ear! That's how we'll kill the flame king! Pbht! Kill the flame king? This is treason disguised as a play! Guards, seize them! FINN: What?! No! [BOTH GRUNT.]
Please! We were trying to warn you about assassins! Hmm.
Search them! FINN: [GRUNTING.]
Huh? [SNIFFS.]
Sire, it's your daughter's scented candles! FINN: I-I-I Sickos! Off with their heads! JAKE: Whoa, what?! [CHEERING.]
FINN: No, please! S-stay s-still.
FINN: "S-still"? [LAUGHS.]
FINN: Untied shoelace? [GASPS.]
It's them! S-so long, s-suckers! FINN: Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! [SCREAMING.]
Naked babies, naked babies, naked babies! [CLEARS THROAT.]
We found 'em! The executioners are the real king-killers! S-silence! Wait, wait, waitThat voice.
Guards, take off their hoods! Aah! My identity! [HISS.]
Ugh! [GROWLS.]
Furnius and torcho! HelloUncle! [CROWD GASPS, MURMURS.]
Arrest the executioners! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
HmmI thought I had you two extinguished.
You cannot quench the flame-s-s-s of revenge! You snuffed out our father to become king! Oh, yeahHa ha.
Take them to the punishment room! I'll des-s-Troy all of you Release me! with ic-c-c-e! FINN: Wait, so you -- you extinguished their dad? Mm-hmm.
FINN: AndEveryone is evil here? [WHOOSH!.]
Mm-hmm -- all evil.
FINN: ThenIs flame princessEvil? Or maybe chaotic neutral? She's evil.
FINN: OkaySo your daughter's evil -- we've established that.
But do you think if a good guy really liked herCould he change her to good? Hmm, well, there'd be penalties to her experience if she acted out of alignment, butYes.
Someone could change her.
Change her to good? [CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
FINN: Aww! [BREATHING SOFTLY.]
[SIZZLE!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
Evil, evil, evil, evil.
Evil, evil, evilEvil! Aah! Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree