Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s05e43 Episode Script
Root Beer Guy
[mouse squeaks.]
[penguins wenk.]
[all cheering.]
[ Screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Tickle, tickle, tickle! Wakey, wakey, wake! [all murmuring.]
Yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo [ laughs.]
[all cheering.]
Wow.
That was really something.
[ Beeps, door unlocks.]
[all screaming.]
Really something.
- Sure, I'll hold.
- Thank you for your time.
Hello? I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to tell you about an amazing vitamin supplement.
But first, just let me ask you, do you ever feel that no matter what you eat, you're still tired and sluggish and [Sighs.]
Filled with nagging anxiety and doubt and -- [snaps fingers.]
Root Beer Guy, get your head back in the game! Hello, ma'am.
I'd like to take a few minutes of your time -- [ receiver clicks .]
Hello? What we need is to cut out the middle man.
- Hey, Root Beer Guy.
- Hey.
Dude, we should start our own place.
Next stop, Lollipop Park Estates.
[ Munching .]
This is good.
What is this? Candy.
Hmm.
[ munching .]
Oh, I've got a closing argument tomorrow, Root Beer Guy.
[ Voiceover.]
I knew there was trouble,.
I could smell it on the hot evening breeze.
Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing because I'm Joe Milkshake.
I kicked down the door with one swift, decisive motion.
No.
With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door.
No.
"The door was kicked down by me swiftly with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness was used by me that was apparent to everybody.
" Ugh.
[ scratching .]
BUBBLEGUM: Aaaaaaaaaah! Hmm.
BUBBLEGUM: What are you doing?! [grunts.]
Let me go! No! BOTH: Yeah! [ Imitates engine sputtering, revving .]
- Hey.
Hey, are you awake? - Not really.
Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I think I saw Princess Bubblegum get kidnapped, and the perpetrators were that Finn and Jake.
Okay, sweetie.
That sounds like an interesting dream.
[snoring .]
- But it did happen.
[ Snoring, snorts.]
You need to eat something before you go to work, and you can't keep falling asleep at your typewriter.
It's bad for your back.
Besides, I miss you at night.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I couldn't stop thinking about that weird stuff I saw last night when I was peeking through the bushes.
Ugh! Peeking through the bushes?! You've been warping your mind with all this mystery stuff.
I swear, sometimes I think you love that novel of yours more than you love me.
You've been working on it every night for 10 years, and for what?! Look at me, Root Beer Guy! I'm a cherry cream soda, and I have the same needs as any other cherry cream soda or even diet cream soda! [ Voiceover.]
I didn't know what to say, but Joe Milkshake never was a talky guy.
On my way to work that morning, I decided to lake a second look at the crime scene.
Hmm.
[whirring .]
Lake Butterscotch? Hmm.
MAN: Root Beer Guy! Root Beer Guy! Root Beer Guy! How many bottles of product you sell this month? Zero.
Great! Least you can count to zero! You know, maybe if you'd give me the new leads You haven't earned the new leads.
[ Inaudible.]
[gasps.]
It's easy to do when you have all the leads.
- Exactly.
- Hey, Root Beer Guy.
It's all about the leads.
See? I told you! It's candy stucco.
Stucco feels great.
Hmm.
When you're right, you're right.
All right, you two.
What were you doing last night with Princess Bubblegum? - Uh - Hmm We were home last night.
- Yeah.
We were doing that thing.
That was a great thing we were doing at home with no other witnesses.
But we're each other's witnesses.
- BOTH: Yeah! - But I saw you.
Look, man, you didn't see nothin'.
Hmph! [whistle blowing .]
Mr.
Banana Guard, you've got to arrest those guys! Come on! These are the guys! They're kidnappers! You have to arrest them and find out where they're hiding Princess Bubblegum.
Princess Bubblegum? She's right around the corner! Oh, Princess Bubblegum! [ High-pitched voice.]
Yes? [ Normal voice.]
I think some banana guards wish to speak with you.
[ High-pitched voice.]
Where are those banana guards? - Your highness! - ALL: Greetings, your majesty! Your skin is looking lovely today.
Oh, thanks! It's really, really orange! Ugh! I've been using this new, uh, marmalade spray-on tan.
Yeah.
Cinnamon Bun [ voiceover.]
Bingo-bango.
This was my lucky break.
With one decisive motion, I kicked down the door.
So, uh, being tan is my thing now.
Quickly, I scanned the room for the -- Oh, man.
"Caramel Court," "Cotton Candy Crescent.
" "Lollipop Park Estates" -- Bingo-bang-- Aha! Huh? [ Growls .]
[ Voiceover.]
Bingo-bango.
[hinges creak.]
Bonsoir, monsieur.
[ French accent.]
Would you like me to turn down the bed? Uh, look what I've got.
The security tape will show that Finn and Jake kidnapped Princess Bubblegum.
[normal voice.]
Finn and Jake would never do that! Oh, yeah? Prepare to have your mind blown after I put this tape in the VCR, just to make sure I got the right one.
I'm pretty sure I did! [ Ringing .]
Hey, yes! This is it! - Aaaaaaaaaah! - Bingo-bango! I've got to get to the -- Are you in the tub, sweetie? I'm going out! I've got to get this tape to the banana guards or the newspaper or maybe the D.
A.
or something.
[ Normal voice .]
Hey, Root Beer Guy.
You were not supposed to view this tape.
But -- but how did you guys know'? I told them.
That's right.
I did it for us! Oh, this thing is eating you alive, Root Beer Guy! But it's all I've got.
[crying.]
Hey, this looks kind of personal.
Hmph.
[cash register dings.]
Mr.
Pudding -- Oh, you can just call me "Buck.
" Uh, Buck, those -- No need to be formal here, son.
Those guys who were just in here -- can you tell me what they bought? Well, let's see -- a shovel, a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop, rubber gloves.
Say, Mr.
-- Buck, do you know anything about this Lake Butterscotch? Right nice spot, Lake Butterscotch -- miles from where anyone could hear a person scream, if a person were screaming for some reason.
Creepy now that I think about it.
Nothing up there these days but some abandoned cabins.
Nice place to hide a body if you were into that sort of thing.
Son, now, what are you doing in my pickup truck'? [tires screech .]
[tires screech .]
[ Motor starts, whirring .]
[telephone rings.]
- Yeah? - Don't hang up! I'm Root Beer Guy.
I'm the guy who kidnapped Princess Bubblegum.
Yeah, yeah.
I wrapped her in a carpet -- yeah -- and I'm gonna dump her in Lake Butterscotch! I'm completely insane! [laughs maniacally.]
But you still have time to stop me.
Get up to Lake Butterscotch right now, Banana Guard.
[sighs.]
And I took a boat out after 8:00.
Emergency! Quickly, to Lake Butterscotch! - ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-- [grunts.]
ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Ugh! ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Use the licorice lace lasso! [whip!.]
Whoa! Oh, my word! Get those guys! They're my accomplices! - Oh.
Okay.
- I got it! [whip!.]
Busted, you boat crimer.
[grunting .]
It's Finn and Jake?! Well, guys it looks like you caught us.
Okay, Princess.
You can come out now.
[breathing loudly.]
Princess! Oh, yeah.
It is the princess.
[clears throat.]
Congratulations! Whee! Whee! You were so good at solving the case.
Um, what case'? The fake kidnapping.
To test the Candy Kingdom's security system? We didn't solve that case.
But if you weren't following the clues I left, who was? Um it's Root Beer Guy.
Then why the Jumping Jay is he in handcuffs?! Uh, he went boating.
[all murmuring.]
ROOT BEER GUY: Boo-ba-dee-bee Dee-ba dee-ba doo doo Doo doo doo-doo-doo doo dee That was a great night, baby.
We haven't danced like that in years.
I'm so proud of you, Mr.
Captain of the Banana Guards.
[hinges creak.]
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree This party is so crazy!
[penguins wenk.]
[all cheering.]
[ Screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Tickle, tickle, tickle! Wakey, wakey, wake! [all murmuring.]
Yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo [ laughs.]
[all cheering.]
Wow.
That was really something.
[ Beeps, door unlocks.]
[all screaming.]
Really something.
- Sure, I'll hold.
- Thank you for your time.
Hello? I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to tell you about an amazing vitamin supplement.
But first, just let me ask you, do you ever feel that no matter what you eat, you're still tired and sluggish and [Sighs.]
Filled with nagging anxiety and doubt and -- [snaps fingers.]
Root Beer Guy, get your head back in the game! Hello, ma'am.
I'd like to take a few minutes of your time -- [ receiver clicks .]
Hello? What we need is to cut out the middle man.
- Hey, Root Beer Guy.
- Hey.
Dude, we should start our own place.
Next stop, Lollipop Park Estates.
[ Munching .]
This is good.
What is this? Candy.
Hmm.
[ munching .]
Oh, I've got a closing argument tomorrow, Root Beer Guy.
[ Voiceover.]
I knew there was trouble,.
I could smell it on the hot evening breeze.
Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing because I'm Joe Milkshake.
I kicked down the door with one swift, decisive motion.
No.
With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door.
No.
"The door was kicked down by me swiftly with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness was used by me that was apparent to everybody.
" Ugh.
[ scratching .]
BUBBLEGUM: Aaaaaaaaaah! Hmm.
BUBBLEGUM: What are you doing?! [grunts.]
Let me go! No! BOTH: Yeah! [ Imitates engine sputtering, revving .]
- Hey.
Hey, are you awake? - Not really.
Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I think I saw Princess Bubblegum get kidnapped, and the perpetrators were that Finn and Jake.
Okay, sweetie.
That sounds like an interesting dream.
[snoring .]
- But it did happen.
[ Snoring, snorts.]
You need to eat something before you go to work, and you can't keep falling asleep at your typewriter.
It's bad for your back.
Besides, I miss you at night.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I couldn't stop thinking about that weird stuff I saw last night when I was peeking through the bushes.
Ugh! Peeking through the bushes?! You've been warping your mind with all this mystery stuff.
I swear, sometimes I think you love that novel of yours more than you love me.
You've been working on it every night for 10 years, and for what?! Look at me, Root Beer Guy! I'm a cherry cream soda, and I have the same needs as any other cherry cream soda or even diet cream soda! [ Voiceover.]
I didn't know what to say, but Joe Milkshake never was a talky guy.
On my way to work that morning, I decided to lake a second look at the crime scene.
Hmm.
[whirring .]
Lake Butterscotch? Hmm.
MAN: Root Beer Guy! Root Beer Guy! Root Beer Guy! How many bottles of product you sell this month? Zero.
Great! Least you can count to zero! You know, maybe if you'd give me the new leads You haven't earned the new leads.
[ Inaudible.]
[gasps.]
It's easy to do when you have all the leads.
- Exactly.
- Hey, Root Beer Guy.
It's all about the leads.
See? I told you! It's candy stucco.
Stucco feels great.
Hmm.
When you're right, you're right.
All right, you two.
What were you doing last night with Princess Bubblegum? - Uh - Hmm We were home last night.
- Yeah.
We were doing that thing.
That was a great thing we were doing at home with no other witnesses.
But we're each other's witnesses.
- BOTH: Yeah! - But I saw you.
Look, man, you didn't see nothin'.
Hmph! [whistle blowing .]
Mr.
Banana Guard, you've got to arrest those guys! Come on! These are the guys! They're kidnappers! You have to arrest them and find out where they're hiding Princess Bubblegum.
Princess Bubblegum? She's right around the corner! Oh, Princess Bubblegum! [ High-pitched voice.]
Yes? [ Normal voice.]
I think some banana guards wish to speak with you.
[ High-pitched voice.]
Where are those banana guards? - Your highness! - ALL: Greetings, your majesty! Your skin is looking lovely today.
Oh, thanks! It's really, really orange! Ugh! I've been using this new, uh, marmalade spray-on tan.
Yeah.
Cinnamon Bun [ voiceover.]
Bingo-bango.
This was my lucky break.
With one decisive motion, I kicked down the door.
So, uh, being tan is my thing now.
Quickly, I scanned the room for the -- Oh, man.
"Caramel Court," "Cotton Candy Crescent.
" "Lollipop Park Estates" -- Bingo-bang-- Aha! Huh? [ Growls .]
[ Voiceover.]
Bingo-bango.
[hinges creak.]
Bonsoir, monsieur.
[ French accent.]
Would you like me to turn down the bed? Uh, look what I've got.
The security tape will show that Finn and Jake kidnapped Princess Bubblegum.
[normal voice.]
Finn and Jake would never do that! Oh, yeah? Prepare to have your mind blown after I put this tape in the VCR, just to make sure I got the right one.
I'm pretty sure I did! [ Ringing .]
Hey, yes! This is it! - Aaaaaaaaaah! - Bingo-bango! I've got to get to the -- Are you in the tub, sweetie? I'm going out! I've got to get this tape to the banana guards or the newspaper or maybe the D.
A.
or something.
[ Normal voice .]
Hey, Root Beer Guy.
You were not supposed to view this tape.
But -- but how did you guys know'? I told them.
That's right.
I did it for us! Oh, this thing is eating you alive, Root Beer Guy! But it's all I've got.
[crying.]
Hey, this looks kind of personal.
Hmph.
[cash register dings.]
Mr.
Pudding -- Oh, you can just call me "Buck.
" Uh, Buck, those -- No need to be formal here, son.
Those guys who were just in here -- can you tell me what they bought? Well, let's see -- a shovel, a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop, rubber gloves.
Say, Mr.
-- Buck, do you know anything about this Lake Butterscotch? Right nice spot, Lake Butterscotch -- miles from where anyone could hear a person scream, if a person were screaming for some reason.
Creepy now that I think about it.
Nothing up there these days but some abandoned cabins.
Nice place to hide a body if you were into that sort of thing.
Son, now, what are you doing in my pickup truck'? [tires screech .]
[tires screech .]
[ Motor starts, whirring .]
[telephone rings.]
- Yeah? - Don't hang up! I'm Root Beer Guy.
I'm the guy who kidnapped Princess Bubblegum.
Yeah, yeah.
I wrapped her in a carpet -- yeah -- and I'm gonna dump her in Lake Butterscotch! I'm completely insane! [laughs maniacally.]
But you still have time to stop me.
Get up to Lake Butterscotch right now, Banana Guard.
[sighs.]
And I took a boat out after 8:00.
Emergency! Quickly, to Lake Butterscotch! - ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-- [grunts.]
ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Ugh! ALL: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Use the licorice lace lasso! [whip!.]
Whoa! Oh, my word! Get those guys! They're my accomplices! - Oh.
Okay.
- I got it! [whip!.]
Busted, you boat crimer.
[grunting .]
It's Finn and Jake?! Well, guys it looks like you caught us.
Okay, Princess.
You can come out now.
[breathing loudly.]
Princess! Oh, yeah.
It is the princess.
[clears throat.]
Congratulations! Whee! Whee! You were so good at solving the case.
Um, what case'? The fake kidnapping.
To test the Candy Kingdom's security system? We didn't solve that case.
But if you weren't following the clues I left, who was? Um it's Root Beer Guy.
Then why the Jumping Jay is he in handcuffs?! Uh, he went boating.
[all murmuring.]
ROOT BEER GUY: Boo-ba-dee-bee Dee-ba dee-ba doo doo Doo doo doo-doo-doo doo dee That was a great night, baby.
We haven't danced like that in years.
I'm so proud of you, Mr.
Captain of the Banana Guards.
[hinges creak.]
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree This party is so crazy!