Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s05e48 Episode Script

Betty

[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time Whoo-hoo! [GRUMBLES.]
Next.
Oh, your highness, can you help my poor child? His hair is starting to go, and we can't afford flame care and [SOBS.]
Take this fortifier.
It should last you through the cold season.
Oh, glob bless thy soul! [LAUGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
More tea, your highness? [SLURPS.]
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Who's next? Hi, um, my microwave seems to be broken and -- [RUMBLE.]
Aah! [ALL GASP.]
Flame princess! Don John -- the flame lord! I fear you're not evil enough to rule the kingdom.
Excuse me? How dare you! [GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
What? [CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHS EVILLY.]
You've been poisoning me.
How could you, Ursula? Guards! [ENERGY WARBLES.]
[CHANTS INDISTINCTLY.]
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
Huh? Oh, here he comes! No! [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Yes! Playtime's over, honey.
Time to give daddy his throne back.
I've secretly arranged to make don John my vizier and give him my daughter's hand in marriage.
Uh, yeah, I know.
Ha-ha! [GROWLS.]
Hwah! Man, you're looking shredded.
My gym is dark magic, and my protein shake is rage.
Okay, okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHANTS INDISTINCTLY.]
[ENERGY WARBLING [GROANS.]
Splendid work, don John.
No big "d," bro.
Heavens to Betsy! [WHIMPERS.]
Cinnamon bun! Don't let them escape! Come here, girl.
We're getting hitched! [FLAME PEOPLE GROAN.]
No! [GRUNTS.]
Go away! [FLAME PEOPLE GROAN.]
I can't leave.
I have to fight for my kingdom.
No.
Fight later.
Now we get help.
Huh? Aah! Hwah! Why did I jump? Thanks, c.
B.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're welcome.
How are you feeling? A little better, I think.
Who should we go to for help? Princess bubblegum? BOTH: Nah.
I don't trust her.
Yeah, she's devious.
Well, I've seen finn battle huge monsters and even armies, and we need somebody who can fight.
C.
B.
, take me to finn.
Mm, okay.
FINN: [TEETH CLICKING.]
Waah! Finn! FINN: Um [CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
Uh, Jake isn't here.
He's sleeping over at lady rainicorn's, maybe.
Finn, I've been slowly poisoned by my treacherous handmaiden.
Now my powers are weakened, and -- and the flame lord has freed my father and threatened to marry me.
But I escaped with c.
B.
FINN: Oh, what? I'll help you.
I'll do anything for you.
Listen, finn, this doesn't mean we're getting back together.
We're all business.
FINN: Mm-hmh.
Of course.
Yeah, business.
[SIGHS.]
I'm feeling exhausted.
Where can I freshen up? FINN: Girl's bathroom is over there.
Also, it's the boy's bathroom.
Oh, thanks.
FINN: So, what do you think, c.
B.
? You think I still have a shot with her, right? No.
FINN: Does she ever talk about me? Is she seeing anybody? No and no.
FINN: "No and no," she does talk about me, or "no and no," she isn't seeing anybody? All right, guys.
Let's wolf.
FINN: So, your fire wolf can fly.
Yep.
I taught him.
FINN: Hmm.
[SKIN SIZZLES.]
Whoa! You've cooled down a lot.
No funny stuff.
FINN: Things have been going great for me lately.
Been hanging out with my boys.
I got a cursed sword arm now, so that's new.
Yeah, I've been exercising a lot and taking some piano lessons -- trying to improve myself.
Not dating anybody or anything, just getting a little me time, being the best finn I can be.
[GROANS.]
Hyup! FINN: Oh, no! [WOLF PANTING.]
FINN: I hid my flameproof suit behind these rocks Just in case, whatever, you know? So, the guards are posted here and here, so we should probably sneak in here.
FINN: Suited! Uh FINN: Remember my fire suit? Hey, c.
B.
, you did a great job getting us here and everything, but I got this, all right? I got a sword arm, so -- yeah, you said that.
FINN: Watch this.
Hey, guards! Come at me at the same time! What are you doing?! FINN: Let's go, princess! But that wasn't the plan! No! FINN: Ha-ha! It's the princess.
Capture them! FINN: Ahhhhh-- no, finn! Don't hurt them! They're entranced! FINN: Oh, right.
Oh, no.
Captured.
[GROANS.]
[ROARS.]
Hyah! Um [GRUNTS.]
FINN: There's c.
B.
! Get that bun! Could you move, please? Whoo, get 'em, boys.
We're taking these two away.
FINN: Don't worry, f.
P.
, your boy finn won't fail you.
Put up your Dukes.
You have permission to leave when you out-Duke us.
Okay.
Duke! Duke! Duke! [WOOSH!.]
Duke! Uh, Duke! These two are out-duked! Now I'm making my escape.
[SIGHS.]
FINN: Trust me.
It'll be fine.
For soon you shall be mine.
[CHUCKLES.]
If you've forgotten, I'm reminding you now.
Never! FINN: Yeah! It's because you secretly still have feelings for me.
No! FINN: Hmm.
I can never marry you because I don't even know you, much less like you, and forcing me to marry you is gross.
Whoo! Whoo! Man, I love staring out over things.
Whoo! It's so good to be king.
You said she'd do whatever you told her.
Umm, okay But she refuses to marry me.
She's her own woman, you liar! Liar? You want to fight me? Aye -- fistfight.
Yes, I'll fistfight you.
Come on! You hit me? Felt good! Oof! I love fistfighting.
[GRUNTS.]
You dirty bread Baker.
[GROWLS.]
Aah! [GROWLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Put them down.
Put your Dukes down! No! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
BOTH: Whaa? [WOLF HOWLS.]
BOTH: We're saved! Hi.
Got a key.
Fight! Fight! They're distracted.
Let's go.
Yaah! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Leg press! [GROANS.]
StaminaFailing.
[GRUNTS.]
Come on! [GRUNTS.]
Cheater! [FLAME PEOPLE GROANING.]
Onward, Jake ii! [FIRE SIZZLES.]
Aah! C.
B.
, are you okay? [GROANS.]
[FLAME PEOPLE GROAN.]
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
Huh? What happened? Should -- should we keep attacking? Stop! You were all brainwashed by him! Uh-oh.
Hey, I don't like that guy! Yeah, let's get him! [ALL SHOUTING.]
Capture him! It wasn't me.
It was don John! Aah! [GROANS WEAKLY.]
[GASPS.]
Huh? Oh Aah! Have you all gone dumb from don John's magic? I mean, how do you expect this softy to rule you? She's even weaker than before from being poisoned.
Look! [FLAME PEOPLE MURMUR.]
Oh, come on! You're wrong.
Flame princess may not be the most ruthless of all despots, but she is strong where it really counts -- in her heart.
And that is good.
I have learned so much watching this beautiful woman work, and with her example, I have become a better man.
I will be by her side as her champion and knight every step of the way because I love her.
Thank you.
[FLAME PEOPLE MURMUR.]
Aww, how sweet! [FLAME PEOPLE CHEERING.]
[ROARS.]
FINN: Geez.
Did I just get shown up by cinnamon bun? Have you obtained the staff of stranson doughblow? Yes, Bella noche.
We procured the staff using the full extent of our wizardy ways.
Then the time has come to reveal my true form, and when I materialize on this ICE KING: Oh, this striz is going down, man.
you will receive your end of the deal.
The lost system of antediluvian magick -- the tightest of all wiz biz.
So right and tight I get restless leg syndrome about it.
Look! And now it will be yours.
ICE KING: And mine! What the blood?! Ice king! ICE KING: Listen, dudes, all I want is to be in the club and plus up my magic.
What's the problem? Your life is my problem.
Too late, fools! Bella noche emerges.
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
Whoa! What the Stop that now, trash cones.
Bella noche must not cross into our world.
ICE KING: Uh, why not again? [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
Duck! Aaaah! ICE KING: Aaaah! Aaaaah! Ah, cram! Here we go! Uh, hey.
Hey, I can't feel my magic! Me neither.
What gives? Bella noche is a being of pure anti-magic! Y'alls got played! Uh, hello? Oh, what a fool am I! Aaaaaah! Go! Destroy! Throw your boots at it, or -- I don't know! Huh? [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
Dang.
Sorry, ice king.
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
This must be it, man.
I've crossed into some new super-insane zone where I feel like I'm just normal again.
Or maybe I'm just normal again.
Hey, stop looking at yourself.
You're ugly, bro.
Get lost.
This is my busking spot.
[GRUNTS.]
Sorry, man.
No time! Go, carpet! Whoa! It's got to be here.
Even in my prolonged state of insanity, my immutable essence must have known to -- oh, yes.
Hello.
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
Ah, my research.
My Jackie -- jacket! Mutation, mutation, mind expa-- aha! "Mystic rituals and their space-time applications" by Simon petrikov and Betty grof.
Betty.
Whoops.
Marceline? A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four.
FINN: Wait! What? FINN: Why are you holding your bass up high like that? Unh-unh.
I get better finger action this way.
FINN: But you look like a nerd.
Move it back down.
It's better.
JAKE: Move the bass down.
FINN: A-move the bass a-down.
JAKE: Be reasonable.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
[BEEP.]
Yes? Marcy, it's me, Simon.
I'm back, but my body might donk out soon.
So, get to the ice kingdom fast and help me with this time portal so I can find Betty and say I'm sorry before I croakboat! I know that's a lot to process, but hurry, and bring hambo.
Hambo is the key.
Okay, Marcy? You got that? Marcy? A long, long time ago, Simon was my only friend.
He was there when I needed help.
All he ever wanted was to find Betty, and now I can help him.
[SQUEAK!.]
Simon? Wenk! Wenk! Simon! Marceline! I thought I'd never see you again.
I can hardly believe it myself.
You're all grown up.
JAKE: Believe! She's like a million years old.
One million years? How could it be?! He's just kidding.
I'm only a thousand.
JAKE: And still looking good! FINN: Do you remember anything from when you were the ice king? Nothing specific -- just dreamlike impressions.
FINN: Do you still have impressions from all the times we flipped your bricks? I haveBruises.
[COUGHS.]
Excuse me.
[COUGHING RAGGEDLY.]
Man, Simon.
I'm fine.
You're dying! Well, yes, but only in increments.
I've still got work to do.
Finn and Jake, will you run my generator? FINN: Yeah, man.
JAKE: Cool.
[MACHINE HUMS.]
That's great! Keep pedaling! All we need now is the catalyst -- an object from the past that has been lovingly tended to through the ages.
[SIGHS.]
Goodbye, hambo.
[SMOOCHES.]
Because of you, I can say goodbye to Betty and tell her I'm sorry for driving her away.
Thank you, marceline.
[LIQUID BUBBLING.]
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
[PANTING.]
[ENERGY WARBLING.]
ICE KING: Where's my Betty? Where's my princess?! Princess! Princess!! Simon, don't leave me like this.
[ENERGY WARBLES.]
[ECHOING.]
Betty? Betty.
Betty! Simon? What is going on? I'm a thousand years in the future, love.
I opened this portal so we could say goodbye.
You're dumping me? No! It's just that everything changed after I put on that crown.
I-I went crazy, you ran away, I-I never saw you again.
But where would I go without you? I'll never know.
I don't understand.
You don't seem crazy now.
I mean, in the future.
The portal is closing.
There's no time to explain.
Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me.
Simon, I know who I'm leaving you for! Who?! You, dum-dum! [SMOOCHES.]
Hmm? Simon? [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
What's wrong? Are you sick? No, I'm old.
The crown was keeping me alive, but it's magic was negated by the creature Bella noche.
Don't die, Simon.
I just got here.
Oh, I'm sorry, Betty.
I know! I'll fix the crown, and then I'll figure out how to fix you! What? No.
Guys, stop her.
JAKE: Uh Hmm.
FINN: Yeah, but JAKE: It kind of sounds like a good idea.
Right, whoever you are.
I'm sorry.
It's the only way.
No! Okay, rug, take me to Bella noche.
Get on, Simon! I am getting on The death bus.
I got you in my sights, Simon.
[LAUGHS.]
It's my time, Betty! I don't want to be the ice king again.
It's like living with eternal diaper butt.
I can't do it! Not forever.
Destroying Bella noche and getting your power back will buy me time to find a loophole that'll undo your curse and your death.
I can do it! You got to believe me, Simon! I Get real, man.
You're gonna be the ice king till the sun blows up.
This is your one chance.
I made a mix tape for the ride -- "summer jams 3"! If I don't let her try, then what am I? What am us? What? Uh, fair enough.
See you in a few.
[WARBLING.]
This brioche won't stop growing.
Ron James, what tookYou? Yo, my lab got creamed! I had to dummy-rig an alchemical filter out of a dirty bidet and a vaporizer! But will the double-negative magic work? Heck yeah! Ron James always delivers! Check it out, brotha! Yaah! In your face! [SCREAMS.]
BOTH: Yeah! What the stink is that?! My lab conditions were not ideal.
But you did not deliver.
Peace, man! Aaaah! [ENERGY WARBLES.]
We're here to help! Help? How? [GROANS.]
[GROANS.]
We're toast, bro.
[GRUNTS.]
Simon! [SIGHS.]
Hey, don't scare me like that.
Just hold my hand to your face.
This will be myLast sensation.
Don't be a wimp, Simon! Just give me a second! You got about 15 seconds.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
How the wait.
Surprise! Tranch! ALL: Ohhhhh! You lose, Simon.
Sorry, man.
ICE KING: Uh, huh? [ALL CHEER.]
This a party? Huh? Wizard city is saved! [LAUGHS.]
ICE KING: Whoa! [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Whoopee! So, then, Ron James told me this girl I was with flew into Bella noche and mysteriously defeated it for me! Wow! [CHUCKLES.]
Just my luck, right? Black out for a day and meet the woman of your dreams.
I will get you! ICE KING: Hey, don't be jealous, muscle princess.
She's gone -- kablooie.
Let's be realistic, right? We both know you're not my top pick.
Oh, grod! [ROARS.]
ICE KING: No! Aaah! Go home! You can go! Aah! Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree
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