Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s06e30 Episode Script
The Diary
- [Mouse squeaks.]
- [Penguins chirp.]
- [All cheering.]
- [Screeches.]
Adventure time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's adventure time [Video-game music playing.]
- [Sighs.]
- [Speaking Korean.]
Aw.
Don't worry about him.
It's good to be passionate about your hobbies.
[Speaking Korean.]
Yo, TV! - Get me a chocolate bar! - Okay.
Attaboy! - Ah! - Hello, young man! - Oh! - Sike.
Delicious chocolate bridge [Grunts.]
Ugh! Yeech! Huh? "This diary belongs to B.
P.
Private property.
If you're still reading this, you're a bad person.
" Uh Statue of limitations.
Dear diary.
Wow.
I sound like a real cornball.
Oh, well.
Dear diary! Mom is going to love you.
She's always ragging about me spending too much time with my nose in books.
I wonder what I'm going to write in you.
What kind of person will I be when I get to your last page? Will I have my braces off? Will I have written a song that doesn't totally suck? Will I have met a cool guy? I can barely look at dudes without breaking out into hives.
Just another day in teenage purgatory.
A.
K.
A.
The school caf.
Sloppy Joes again.
Boys I did not talk to today brownieguy Are they trying to kill us? Stayed in and tried to cut my bangs.
Mom says it looks like I got in a fight with a snapping turtle.
Taffi and Mochi are the coolest girls at school.
When I think about them, my skin feels sparkly.
They don't even know I exist.
Why would they? I'm a nobody.
Less than nobody.
- I'm a pimple on the butt of a - Geez, B.
P.
- Prone to dramatics much? - The fire kingdom has officially frozen over.
Justin rockcandy asked me to - the semi-formal! - Oh, my glob.
[Echoing.]
Justin.
Justin is taking me to the fructose fair.
Justin wants to go on the roller coaster.
Kissing is fun and easy.
If I don't think about the bacteria in spit teeming, multiplying.
Diary, can you keep a secret? Justin! Justin! Hive of bees in myea get out! Mother, I'm not going to tell you again! Lies, lies, lies! Diary, it's my birthday tomorrow, but I don't feel like celebrating.
I feel like screaming.
Justin wants to meet at lovetree point.
Says he wants to give me a present.
I should tell him I need to tell him - I will tell him! - [Gasps.]
Tell him what?! Aaaaaah! [Speaking Korean.]
Not hungs.
Heading out for a bit.
[Speaking Korean.]
There you go! Just needed a lil' push from the old man.
[Coughs.]
I gotta get into the mind of this kid.
Role-play.
Rip! Rip! [Grunts.]
[Feminine voice.]
Sploosh! My secret is safe at the bottom of this disgusting moat.
[Normal voice.]
Oh, oh, B.
P.
! What have you done?! [Feminine voice.]
I'm sick of the lies! Sick, sick, sick! [Normal voice.]
Babe! Um I said I'm sorry? [Feminine voice.]
You don't know me! Nobody knows me! Leave me alone! [Gasps.]
I hate sloppy joes! Aaaaaah! [Gasps.]
[Coughs.]
Yuch.
What? Taffi? - Mochi! - Hey, moch'.
Is that the new "nosy nellies" bootleg 7-inch? - Taffi, Mochi, down here! - I ordered it from this dude - in lumpy space.
- Is it insane? - It's almost too insane.
- Wicked.
[Coughs.]
[Gurgles.]
- Hiya, B.
P.
! What's up? - Justin? Guilty as charged.
You psyched for your birthday, birthday girl? Don't forget about our little "rendez-vous" at lovetree point, huh? I can't wait for you to see your prezzie.
You're gonna be there, right? Please say yes.
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Aaaaaah! Bam! Bam! Bam! Lady, you're really off your game! I never win at canasta! [Speaking Korean.]
You said you wanted the kid to spend more time outside.
Bam he's outside.
- He's loving it! - [Speaking Korean.]
If it'll make you feel better, then yes.
But I'm sure he's fine.
Uh-oh.
- [Mumbling.]
- Uh, son? - Mom? - Uh, close enough.
- Get out of my room! - TV, what is that? - Private property.
- Gimme the book.
- Nooooo! - A diary, huh? Juicy.
And now you've become dangerously obsessed with it and have confused your reality with that of the diary keeper.
You always were a little too susceptible to fantasy.
- Ooh, ripped pages! Mystery! - And look how the handwriting changes right before the rip.
These are all crabbed.
- That's weird, right? - Super weird, son.
She was obviously emotionally distraught.
Maybe she was so stressed, she broke out in hives, and they covered her whole body.
So they rushed her to the hospital.
She was thinking "oh, man, I'm so young," and how life is so unfair, and that this was the end.
[Monitor beeping.]
But it wasn't the end.
She had pulled through Except her hand had been replaced with a crab hand! Which negatively affected her handwriting.
Yeah! And, and, while I recovered, I - refused all visitors.
- Wait.
You refused? Especially Justin.
How could he love a girl with a crab hand? I mean That is definitely not normal.
Justin sent me flowers every day for a week.
Then every other day.
Then they stopped coming all together.
On my birthday, I decided I was going to keep my promise to meet Justin, crab hand or no crab hand.
But when I got to lovetree point, Justin was already there [Gasps.]
Making out with my BFFs Taffi and Mochi! He did not! Well, that's one theory, anyway.
- Am I unlovable? - Hey, did you say lovetree point? That's where the kids used to go smoochin' back in the day.
This diary must be pretty old.
- [Sniffles.]
- We should go check it Ugh.
This place is a dump.
Why do they call this lovetree point? 'Cause of that tree over there.
- Yeah, it's pretty heavy-handed.
- On page 42, it says Justin hid a present somewhere around here.
- Maybe it's in the tree.
- Hey, good thinking.
- Bingo! - [Gasps.]
[Music box plays.]
It's so beautiful.
Yeah.
B.
P.
Would have loved this.
Justin must have been too devastated to reclaim it.
Maybe he thinks she'll come back for it one day.
[Sniffles.]
We've got to find her, dad! [Sobs.]
She never knew how much she meant to him.
To all of us! - [Both crying.]
- [Speaking Korean.]
Y'know, son, I bet i know where this music box is from.
Maybe they can give us a clue.
Oh, yes, yes, this is one of mine, from my "dancing cat" period.
Do you remember who bought it? Oh, goodness, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I must have made hundreds of boxes since then, each marrying sound and motion to tell a unique story, the dance of the cosmos in miniature.
Okay.
Well, we gotta go.
- A young man bought this! - Justin! - Was he handsome? - Oh, very.
- Who was it meant for? - A girl.
Betsy.
- [Gasps.]
B.
P.
! - She ran away.
Went wild, cut herself off from the world, hid away in a cave, - never to be seen again.
- Whoa! But, dad, there are probably hundreds of caves in it's the one at the fork in the road to butterscotch lake! The box said she does weird stuff to bodies up there.
- That's it! - [Panting.]
Why do you think Betsy ran away, dad? Hard to say.
Some people can't face their troubles.
But, TV, hiding away won't solve anything.
- Look! - Teachable moment.
Betsy? Betsy? Aaaaah! Betsy.
Oh, my glob.
We're too late! She was too good this cruel world.
- It's a model.
- Huh? It's plastic.
"Heeyyy.
" Hey, look at this! A letter.
- Maybe we shouldn't read this.
- Yes, we should.
Dear Justin, I'm not sure you'll ever read this letter.
Maybe I'm writing this more for myself anyway.
You know when you're little and the future feels really far away? You don't know what it looks like.
You just hope you'll have stuff figured out by then.
You'll know exactly how to act and feel.
You'll have conquered all your fears.
And you'll never feel dumb or uncomfortable.
You don't think about how you'll actually get there.
The middle parts, between now and then The middle parts suck! Which is why I split, I guess Okay, so riding out your teen years in a cave is pretty dramatic.
But do you know how much reading you get done in a cave? I even figured out a cure for my crab hand! Oh, Justin, I hope you're not too upset, and I hope you didn't spend too much money on that birthday present.
It wouldn't have worked out between us anyway.
You're kind of clingy.
Sincerely, nurse Betsy poundcake.
Nurse poundcake! - I've got the injection, doctor.
- I'm not gonna make it, man! Gah! You will live.
Way to take control of the situation, nurse.
Save it for the post-op, doc.
Wow.
B.
P.
is nurse poundcake.
- She turned out fine.
- But what about the ripped pages? Oh, I saw them in the cabin.
It was just a lot of mean stuff about Justin.
Hey, that guy must be pretty sad, huh? Hey, you wanna go find him? No.
- [Penguins chirp.]
- [All cheering.]
- [Screeches.]
Adventure time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's adventure time [Video-game music playing.]
- [Sighs.]
- [Speaking Korean.]
Aw.
Don't worry about him.
It's good to be passionate about your hobbies.
[Speaking Korean.]
Yo, TV! - Get me a chocolate bar! - Okay.
Attaboy! - Ah! - Hello, young man! - Oh! - Sike.
Delicious chocolate bridge [Grunts.]
Ugh! Yeech! Huh? "This diary belongs to B.
P.
Private property.
If you're still reading this, you're a bad person.
" Uh Statue of limitations.
Dear diary.
Wow.
I sound like a real cornball.
Oh, well.
Dear diary! Mom is going to love you.
She's always ragging about me spending too much time with my nose in books.
I wonder what I'm going to write in you.
What kind of person will I be when I get to your last page? Will I have my braces off? Will I have written a song that doesn't totally suck? Will I have met a cool guy? I can barely look at dudes without breaking out into hives.
Just another day in teenage purgatory.
A.
K.
A.
The school caf.
Sloppy Joes again.
Boys I did not talk to today brownieguy Are they trying to kill us? Stayed in and tried to cut my bangs.
Mom says it looks like I got in a fight with a snapping turtle.
Taffi and Mochi are the coolest girls at school.
When I think about them, my skin feels sparkly.
They don't even know I exist.
Why would they? I'm a nobody.
Less than nobody.
- I'm a pimple on the butt of a - Geez, B.
P.
- Prone to dramatics much? - The fire kingdom has officially frozen over.
Justin rockcandy asked me to - the semi-formal! - Oh, my glob.
[Echoing.]
Justin.
Justin is taking me to the fructose fair.
Justin wants to go on the roller coaster.
Kissing is fun and easy.
If I don't think about the bacteria in spit teeming, multiplying.
Diary, can you keep a secret? Justin! Justin! Hive of bees in myea get out! Mother, I'm not going to tell you again! Lies, lies, lies! Diary, it's my birthday tomorrow, but I don't feel like celebrating.
I feel like screaming.
Justin wants to meet at lovetree point.
Says he wants to give me a present.
I should tell him I need to tell him - I will tell him! - [Gasps.]
Tell him what?! Aaaaaah! [Speaking Korean.]
Not hungs.
Heading out for a bit.
[Speaking Korean.]
There you go! Just needed a lil' push from the old man.
[Coughs.]
I gotta get into the mind of this kid.
Role-play.
Rip! Rip! [Grunts.]
[Feminine voice.]
Sploosh! My secret is safe at the bottom of this disgusting moat.
[Normal voice.]
Oh, oh, B.
P.
! What have you done?! [Feminine voice.]
I'm sick of the lies! Sick, sick, sick! [Normal voice.]
Babe! Um I said I'm sorry? [Feminine voice.]
You don't know me! Nobody knows me! Leave me alone! [Gasps.]
I hate sloppy joes! Aaaaaah! [Gasps.]
[Coughs.]
Yuch.
What? Taffi? - Mochi! - Hey, moch'.
Is that the new "nosy nellies" bootleg 7-inch? - Taffi, Mochi, down here! - I ordered it from this dude - in lumpy space.
- Is it insane? - It's almost too insane.
- Wicked.
[Coughs.]
[Gurgles.]
- Hiya, B.
P.
! What's up? - Justin? Guilty as charged.
You psyched for your birthday, birthday girl? Don't forget about our little "rendez-vous" at lovetree point, huh? I can't wait for you to see your prezzie.
You're gonna be there, right? Please say yes.
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Aaaaaah! Bam! Bam! Bam! Lady, you're really off your game! I never win at canasta! [Speaking Korean.]
You said you wanted the kid to spend more time outside.
Bam he's outside.
- He's loving it! - [Speaking Korean.]
If it'll make you feel better, then yes.
But I'm sure he's fine.
Uh-oh.
- [Mumbling.]
- Uh, son? - Mom? - Uh, close enough.
- Get out of my room! - TV, what is that? - Private property.
- Gimme the book.
- Nooooo! - A diary, huh? Juicy.
And now you've become dangerously obsessed with it and have confused your reality with that of the diary keeper.
You always were a little too susceptible to fantasy.
- Ooh, ripped pages! Mystery! - And look how the handwriting changes right before the rip.
These are all crabbed.
- That's weird, right? - Super weird, son.
She was obviously emotionally distraught.
Maybe she was so stressed, she broke out in hives, and they covered her whole body.
So they rushed her to the hospital.
She was thinking "oh, man, I'm so young," and how life is so unfair, and that this was the end.
[Monitor beeping.]
But it wasn't the end.
She had pulled through Except her hand had been replaced with a crab hand! Which negatively affected her handwriting.
Yeah! And, and, while I recovered, I - refused all visitors.
- Wait.
You refused? Especially Justin.
How could he love a girl with a crab hand? I mean That is definitely not normal.
Justin sent me flowers every day for a week.
Then every other day.
Then they stopped coming all together.
On my birthday, I decided I was going to keep my promise to meet Justin, crab hand or no crab hand.
But when I got to lovetree point, Justin was already there [Gasps.]
Making out with my BFFs Taffi and Mochi! He did not! Well, that's one theory, anyway.
- Am I unlovable? - Hey, did you say lovetree point? That's where the kids used to go smoochin' back in the day.
This diary must be pretty old.
- [Sniffles.]
- We should go check it Ugh.
This place is a dump.
Why do they call this lovetree point? 'Cause of that tree over there.
- Yeah, it's pretty heavy-handed.
- On page 42, it says Justin hid a present somewhere around here.
- Maybe it's in the tree.
- Hey, good thinking.
- Bingo! - [Gasps.]
[Music box plays.]
It's so beautiful.
Yeah.
B.
P.
Would have loved this.
Justin must have been too devastated to reclaim it.
Maybe he thinks she'll come back for it one day.
[Sniffles.]
We've got to find her, dad! [Sobs.]
She never knew how much she meant to him.
To all of us! - [Both crying.]
- [Speaking Korean.]
Y'know, son, I bet i know where this music box is from.
Maybe they can give us a clue.
Oh, yes, yes, this is one of mine, from my "dancing cat" period.
Do you remember who bought it? Oh, goodness, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I must have made hundreds of boxes since then, each marrying sound and motion to tell a unique story, the dance of the cosmos in miniature.
Okay.
Well, we gotta go.
- A young man bought this! - Justin! - Was he handsome? - Oh, very.
- Who was it meant for? - A girl.
Betsy.
- [Gasps.]
B.
P.
! - She ran away.
Went wild, cut herself off from the world, hid away in a cave, - never to be seen again.
- Whoa! But, dad, there are probably hundreds of caves in it's the one at the fork in the road to butterscotch lake! The box said she does weird stuff to bodies up there.
- That's it! - [Panting.]
Why do you think Betsy ran away, dad? Hard to say.
Some people can't face their troubles.
But, TV, hiding away won't solve anything.
- Look! - Teachable moment.
Betsy? Betsy? Aaaaah! Betsy.
Oh, my glob.
We're too late! She was too good this cruel world.
- It's a model.
- Huh? It's plastic.
"Heeyyy.
" Hey, look at this! A letter.
- Maybe we shouldn't read this.
- Yes, we should.
Dear Justin, I'm not sure you'll ever read this letter.
Maybe I'm writing this more for myself anyway.
You know when you're little and the future feels really far away? You don't know what it looks like.
You just hope you'll have stuff figured out by then.
You'll know exactly how to act and feel.
You'll have conquered all your fears.
And you'll never feel dumb or uncomfortable.
You don't think about how you'll actually get there.
The middle parts, between now and then The middle parts suck! Which is why I split, I guess Okay, so riding out your teen years in a cave is pretty dramatic.
But do you know how much reading you get done in a cave? I even figured out a cure for my crab hand! Oh, Justin, I hope you're not too upset, and I hope you didn't spend too much money on that birthday present.
It wouldn't have worked out between us anyway.
You're kind of clingy.
Sincerely, nurse Betsy poundcake.
Nurse poundcake! - I've got the injection, doctor.
- I'm not gonna make it, man! Gah! You will live.
Way to take control of the situation, nurse.
Save it for the post-op, doc.
Wow.
B.
P.
is nurse poundcake.
- She turned out fine.
- But what about the ripped pages? Oh, I saw them in the cabin.
It was just a lot of mean stuff about Justin.
Hey, that guy must be pretty sad, huh? Hey, you wanna go find him? No.