Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e31 Episode Script
I Am a Sword
1 Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time When we catch that bandit, I'm gonna be like Then I'm gonna give him just a wicked noogie, then a lecture on personal responsibility.
Then another noogie, like, "Get that knowledge in there.
" Yeah, dude, but it's getting pretty late.
We might got to catch him tomorrow.
Aww.
What do you think, Finn Sword? Should we stay out a little longer? Should we do a sword trick? Is that a better idea? No looking.
I bet you can't do that behind your back.
Like this? Sword trick! What a sword trick.
Finn Sword, are you just loving this? Oh, oh! I bet you can't do that and freestyle some bars.
I can do that! Hyup! It's the boy I-I'm a boy Whoa! Aah! Finn Sword! Oh, man.
Dude, we got to call it.
He's got to be around here somewhere.
Finn! Finn! See? Is that even an echo? There's no way to tell.
Uh, swords don't talk.
Come on.
We can find you a new sword.
We do that all the time.
You don't understand.
That sword is like me.
Like a sword me.
I don't think I'm totally scooping what you're pooping.
I'll make you a new sword that looks like you.
We got a bun-ton of arts and crafts stuff lying around at the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that good-good.
Now kiss.
Mwah! Pay it in the front, pay it in the back Pack that dollar in the dollar sack They call me badfoot money when I step in the street Huh? Someone there? I must just be nervous.
Probably because I'm carrying around these succulent money bags.
Got to go get these muchachos in a bank.
Aah! Please, I'm so rich! Waking up screaming again.
- Jake! Jake! - Breakup? Lich? Me dying? You dying? Other breakup? Growing up? Never growing up? - Or spiders? - It was a totally new nightmare.
I was in the woods and And I was gonna rob this guy.
Aw, that sounds like a nasty guilt dream.
Here, this'll cheer you up.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! Take a look at this! Dooooo! What's this now? It's a sword just like your old one.
I couldn't get your mouth right.
Sorry.
Thanks, dude.
Yo, Finn! Hey, Science Cat.
It's time for the daily brawl, remember? I don't think I can make it today, guys.
But we came all the way here.
This is why Spearbear even owns a watch.
It's fight o'clock, Finn.
It's fight o'clock.
Okay, okay, I'll come down.
Aha! Yah! Bye, guys.
Thanks for coming.
Science Cat: Your heart's not in it, Finn.
He's right, isn't he? Did I take Finn Sword for granted? Maybe I take a lot of people in my life for granted, you know? Talking to inanimate object.
Get a load of this guy.
Hey, man, you're still up? Yeah.
I'm afraid of having another scary guilt dream.
Okay then.
Let's stay up.
We can put on some up-tempo music, and I'll set you up with a brainy modern video game.
Here you go, buddy.
Have some tea.
Thanks.
This'll be fun.
Like the opposite of a sleepover.
And I'll stay up with you all night if Night, dude.
Hmm.
"You kick open the chest.
It's a trap! You've awakened the Demon Queen! Fight the Demon Queen! The Demon Queen cackles and swats your arrows away"? Modern games are so intense.
How do I check my stats? Lady, you can't come in this bank.
My whole job is you can't come in this bank.
Oh, it is on.
Don't kill me.
I've never known true love.
Oh, my Glob! I wasn't even asleep that time.
Jake! I think Finn Sword is trapped in the village of Spiky People.
- We got to go rescue him.
- What? Why come you know that? That sword is me.
He's been sending me psychic Finnmails of sadness and fear to my Finnbox.
We got to go save him.
It's really important to me.
Aah! Do you ever take those off? Oh, Glob! What happened to my peaceful world?! It's Nacho Island Tuesday.
Nacho bros, can you hear me?! It's Kurt, nacho bros! - Stop! - Aah! A talking sword? I was keeping it on the DL, but yeah, I'm Finn Mertens, a.
k.
a.
Finn Sword, a.
k.
a.
sick of your non-irie antics.
You can't be using me to rob banks.
Hero use only.
Bandit Princess! I, Cameron, mayor of Spiky Village, along with the trustees of Spiky Village Bank ask politely that you put our gold back where you got it in exchange for a pre-approved home loan with 0% APR for the first six months, and APR for the next 30 years.
Monthly processing fees apply.
What do you say? You know what? I just spoke to Ruby G, who owns the bank, and he said that we can cut you a bigger break on that loan.
I mean pfft! Of course, right? How about we cut you a break, huh? I'll be cutting and breaking you, Mr.
Mayor.
Oh, no! I'm toast! Aah! OMG, you've ruined my life, Bandit Princess.
Mine, too.
You've trashed my hero streak.
And I'll keep trashing it over and over and over until you can't remember ever having done a good deed in your life.
Why would you do that?! I was born with rabies and my parents didn't love me because they both had mono, so now I do stuff like this.
Call my wife! This is terrible.
Oh, we're gonna do so many terrible things together.
It's gonna be hilarious to watch you cry, Finn Sword.
Cry as you end lives and steal from the week.
- Bandit Princess.
- What? I will find a way to kill you! Hey, take a time out, dude.
We got a lot of lives to ruin.
Finn #2, if you can hear me, this gray area wet wipe is using me against my will.
Please find me soon.
Find me and use me to slay this bleeble.
That's what I saw in my vision.
Finn and Jake, you've come in my time of need.
Sharon, what's going on here? A princess of bandits stole our gold reserves, and with a mighty sword, she took off with my husband's head.
Mayor Cameron?! Mayor Cameron?! You guys got swords.
Why didn't you do anything? Well, this isn't a sword.
It's a massive hangnail.
I got one, too.
It hurts.
Can you hear me, Mr.
Mayor? Can you sense where this bandit princess took your head? Whoa! We'll get your husband's head, Sharon.
And the gold, please.
You think he knows where he's going? He made it seem that way.
Yeah, but maybe he's like a chicken when, um When, you know.
When what? What happens to chickens? Uh, I forget.
Never mind.
Like our chicken Lorraine? - Finn and Jake! - Whoa! Thank you for escorting me back to my head.
Mr.
Mayor, did you see where Bandit Princess went? That way towards Box Kingdom.
- Let's close the gap, Jake.
- You got it.
Good luck, you's two.
Oh, shoot! Don't forget to bring back my gold! Dag! Sharon's gonna be real upset.
Gross! Ha! ha! Box Prince! I'm gonna need all these boxes to store my gold.
Give up now or join your prince in the recycle bin.
Wait! No recycling! Hm.
You looking for this, I suppose? - You okay, buddy? - No, man.
This creep show made me prey on the innocent.
Ooh! This is freaking serious.
Jake, no matter what happens, don't step in.
Give me back myself, dude! I'll slay you with your own body! Give this tranch acute arthritis! You gonna get bopped in the brain! Dag! Useless.
Eat it! Finn! Stay put! Hey, gimme that! What the crease? You gonna get it now, dude.
That's the grass sword! Yah! Aah! Finn! Hang on, man.
I'll take care of this.
Keep your busted sword.
Pfft! Jake, why does this thing happen to Finn? BMO, it's a wooly bully world.
People be acting crazy always.
You mean some people are just pure city sidewalk boom-boom from a rat donk and that's all there is to it? Um, I don't know for sure.
Here's the sticker I made of Finn's sword's face.
Thanks, BMO.
Yo, that's a spot-on drawing.
Did you notice I got the mouth just right? Uh, yes, I did.
Come on.
Let's get some air.
Okay, I like air.
Then another noogie, like, "Get that knowledge in there.
" Yeah, dude, but it's getting pretty late.
We might got to catch him tomorrow.
Aww.
What do you think, Finn Sword? Should we stay out a little longer? Should we do a sword trick? Is that a better idea? No looking.
I bet you can't do that behind your back.
Like this? Sword trick! What a sword trick.
Finn Sword, are you just loving this? Oh, oh! I bet you can't do that and freestyle some bars.
I can do that! Hyup! It's the boy I-I'm a boy Whoa! Aah! Finn Sword! Oh, man.
Dude, we got to call it.
He's got to be around here somewhere.
Finn! Finn! See? Is that even an echo? There's no way to tell.
Uh, swords don't talk.
Come on.
We can find you a new sword.
We do that all the time.
You don't understand.
That sword is like me.
Like a sword me.
I don't think I'm totally scooping what you're pooping.
I'll make you a new sword that looks like you.
We got a bun-ton of arts and crafts stuff lying around at the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that good-good.
Now kiss.
Mwah! Pay it in the front, pay it in the back Pack that dollar in the dollar sack They call me badfoot money when I step in the street Huh? Someone there? I must just be nervous.
Probably because I'm carrying around these succulent money bags.
Got to go get these muchachos in a bank.
Aah! Please, I'm so rich! Waking up screaming again.
- Jake! Jake! - Breakup? Lich? Me dying? You dying? Other breakup? Growing up? Never growing up? - Or spiders? - It was a totally new nightmare.
I was in the woods and And I was gonna rob this guy.
Aw, that sounds like a nasty guilt dream.
Here, this'll cheer you up.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! Take a look at this! Dooooo! What's this now? It's a sword just like your old one.
I couldn't get your mouth right.
Sorry.
Thanks, dude.
Yo, Finn! Hey, Science Cat.
It's time for the daily brawl, remember? I don't think I can make it today, guys.
But we came all the way here.
This is why Spearbear even owns a watch.
It's fight o'clock, Finn.
It's fight o'clock.
Okay, okay, I'll come down.
Aha! Yah! Bye, guys.
Thanks for coming.
Science Cat: Your heart's not in it, Finn.
He's right, isn't he? Did I take Finn Sword for granted? Maybe I take a lot of people in my life for granted, you know? Talking to inanimate object.
Get a load of this guy.
Hey, man, you're still up? Yeah.
I'm afraid of having another scary guilt dream.
Okay then.
Let's stay up.
We can put on some up-tempo music, and I'll set you up with a brainy modern video game.
Here you go, buddy.
Have some tea.
Thanks.
This'll be fun.
Like the opposite of a sleepover.
And I'll stay up with you all night if Night, dude.
Hmm.
"You kick open the chest.
It's a trap! You've awakened the Demon Queen! Fight the Demon Queen! The Demon Queen cackles and swats your arrows away"? Modern games are so intense.
How do I check my stats? Lady, you can't come in this bank.
My whole job is you can't come in this bank.
Oh, it is on.
Don't kill me.
I've never known true love.
Oh, my Glob! I wasn't even asleep that time.
Jake! I think Finn Sword is trapped in the village of Spiky People.
- We got to go rescue him.
- What? Why come you know that? That sword is me.
He's been sending me psychic Finnmails of sadness and fear to my Finnbox.
We got to go save him.
It's really important to me.
Aah! Do you ever take those off? Oh, Glob! What happened to my peaceful world?! It's Nacho Island Tuesday.
Nacho bros, can you hear me?! It's Kurt, nacho bros! - Stop! - Aah! A talking sword? I was keeping it on the DL, but yeah, I'm Finn Mertens, a.
k.
a.
Finn Sword, a.
k.
a.
sick of your non-irie antics.
You can't be using me to rob banks.
Hero use only.
Bandit Princess! I, Cameron, mayor of Spiky Village, along with the trustees of Spiky Village Bank ask politely that you put our gold back where you got it in exchange for a pre-approved home loan with 0% APR for the first six months, and APR for the next 30 years.
Monthly processing fees apply.
What do you say? You know what? I just spoke to Ruby G, who owns the bank, and he said that we can cut you a bigger break on that loan.
I mean pfft! Of course, right? How about we cut you a break, huh? I'll be cutting and breaking you, Mr.
Mayor.
Oh, no! I'm toast! Aah! OMG, you've ruined my life, Bandit Princess.
Mine, too.
You've trashed my hero streak.
And I'll keep trashing it over and over and over until you can't remember ever having done a good deed in your life.
Why would you do that?! I was born with rabies and my parents didn't love me because they both had mono, so now I do stuff like this.
Call my wife! This is terrible.
Oh, we're gonna do so many terrible things together.
It's gonna be hilarious to watch you cry, Finn Sword.
Cry as you end lives and steal from the week.
- Bandit Princess.
- What? I will find a way to kill you! Hey, take a time out, dude.
We got a lot of lives to ruin.
Finn #2, if you can hear me, this gray area wet wipe is using me against my will.
Please find me soon.
Find me and use me to slay this bleeble.
That's what I saw in my vision.
Finn and Jake, you've come in my time of need.
Sharon, what's going on here? A princess of bandits stole our gold reserves, and with a mighty sword, she took off with my husband's head.
Mayor Cameron?! Mayor Cameron?! You guys got swords.
Why didn't you do anything? Well, this isn't a sword.
It's a massive hangnail.
I got one, too.
It hurts.
Can you hear me, Mr.
Mayor? Can you sense where this bandit princess took your head? Whoa! We'll get your husband's head, Sharon.
And the gold, please.
You think he knows where he's going? He made it seem that way.
Yeah, but maybe he's like a chicken when, um When, you know.
When what? What happens to chickens? Uh, I forget.
Never mind.
Like our chicken Lorraine? - Finn and Jake! - Whoa! Thank you for escorting me back to my head.
Mr.
Mayor, did you see where Bandit Princess went? That way towards Box Kingdom.
- Let's close the gap, Jake.
- You got it.
Good luck, you's two.
Oh, shoot! Don't forget to bring back my gold! Dag! Sharon's gonna be real upset.
Gross! Ha! ha! Box Prince! I'm gonna need all these boxes to store my gold.
Give up now or join your prince in the recycle bin.
Wait! No recycling! Hm.
You looking for this, I suppose? - You okay, buddy? - No, man.
This creep show made me prey on the innocent.
Ooh! This is freaking serious.
Jake, no matter what happens, don't step in.
Give me back myself, dude! I'll slay you with your own body! Give this tranch acute arthritis! You gonna get bopped in the brain! Dag! Useless.
Eat it! Finn! Stay put! Hey, gimme that! What the crease? You gonna get it now, dude.
That's the grass sword! Yah! Aah! Finn! Hang on, man.
I'll take care of this.
Keep your busted sword.
Pfft! Jake, why does this thing happen to Finn? BMO, it's a wooly bully world.
People be acting crazy always.
You mean some people are just pure city sidewalk boom-boom from a rat donk and that's all there is to it? Um, I don't know for sure.
Here's the sticker I made of Finn's sword's face.
Thanks, BMO.
Yo, that's a spot-on drawing.
Did you notice I got the mouth just right? Uh, yes, I did.
Come on.
Let's get some air.
Okay, I like air.