Alfred Hitchcock Presents s05e31 Episode Script

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm considering taking up skin diving.
I've avoided it for a long time, because of the name.
The term "skin diving" conjures up a very macabre picture to anyone but a mosquito.
However, since I have become bored with waterskiing, fencing, wing-walking and the like, this might be an excellent way to work off excess, uh, energy.
And the moment I have any, I shall take it up.
One thing that strikes me is the necessity for good feeling among your companions.
Now, I understand why it is called skin diving.
It is because the skin is entirely covered.
And now, here is tonight's story.
Baby, won't you please come home 'Cause your mamma is so all alone I have tried in vain Never to call your name When you left you broke my heart 'Cause I never thought we'd part Every hour, every day, you hear me say Baby, come on home, mamma needs daddy Baby, come on home Why does Georgia want to do that? Do what, Joey? Anything wrong giving that creep a brush? But you know how it is, Bert.
Little Dandy can cause me a lot of trouble.
They can always cause trouble.
The more rope you give them, the faster they hang you.
But I don't want no trouble.
I can't stand any.
Business is good.
A little trouble, and Then tell Little Dandy to lay off.
But he's maybe just trying to be friendly buying you drinks.
Georgia doesn't want any part of him and I second the motion.
He's been dogging her for two weeks.
It's time for him to creep back under his rock.
Bert It's you and Georgia I'm worried about.
Dandy's a real I know.
I know.
Look, you own this place, Joey.
We just work here.
But it's us the customers come to see.
They're just sets of eyes and ears.
That goes for Little Dandy, too.
Decent? Yeah, come in.
What did pal Joey want? Nothing much.
Any complaints about the numbers? How could there be? You're the most of anything that ever hit this joint.
I love you! Your key is B flat, not A flat.
Hook me.
So then it was about Little Dandy, the working girl's nightmare? Joey's worried.
What? About me? He shouldn't be.
I can take care of myself.
Eleven, I got to get back on the stand.
I'll take you home tonight, like always.
Mr.
Dorf wants you to accept this slight offering of his admiration.
And requests the honor of your presence at his table.
Mr.
Dorf? I don't know any Mr.
Dorf.
Bert, do you know any Mr.
Dorf? I don't know any Mr.
Dorf.
Maybe there isn't any Mr.
Dorf.
You know who I mean.
Oh, you mean that Mr.
Dorf? Little Dandy Dorf.
He don't like to be called "Little.
" I wouldn't do it, neither.
I get it, it's an alias.
I didn't know you was a comedian.
I thought you was a piano player.
Piano players come cheap.
Well, call him whatever you like.
But you take these flowers back and tell him they don't smell, they stink.
He don't want them back.
Cookie! All right, then tell Little Dandy he can eat them in a chef's salad with onions and mayonnaise.
Okay, I'll tell him.
What's the matter? Too hurried to say hello to your friends? I don't see any friends.
Maybe you're looking at one now.
I doubt it.
I have a show to do.
Oh, now, look, that can wait just for one drink.
Listen, nobody, dolls in particular, ever lost a thing drinking with me.
And what does that mean? Well, you know, one drink leads to another.
I'll make it worth your time.
Here, for giving me the chance.
Sorry.
I've had better offers than that.
Not from me, you haven't.
Georgia! Get out of my way.
Bill, give me a double.
That's habit for you, a muddler with every drink.
That sure tore it, kid.
I've been playing clubs since I was old enough to get inside the door.
You handle a louse like a louse.
Bert.
He wouldn't take no for an answer so he got it.
You idiot! What Georgia did was bad enough.
You think it was? You think I'll stand around watching her take his raps all by herself? You think that's the way it is? I don't know how it is.
Then I won't try to explain it to you, Joey.
It's not tax deductible and you won't understand.
But I like you kids.
And the business we pull.
All right, Joey.
You wanna understand? Georgia didn't realize what she was doing! So, she overplayed it, see? And I barged in.
Now, if Little Dandy is going to hate her, he's going to hate me, too.
Don't think he won't.
Do it again with a double.
And no muddler.
I'm buying, make sure it's a full double.
Thanks.
Enjoying yourself? Sure, like mad.
I'm glad.
That pleases me very much.
I'm happy for you.
Now what'll we talk about? There's no need for long conversation, not when you know someone.
But I don't know you.
But I know you.
You're Bert Haber.
So? It says so on the lobby card.
You also live in a fourth floor walkup on East 54th Street.
And you're only home during the daytime.
Is that right? What's this all about? You don't know? If you're selling insurance, I'm not buying any this year.
You are not? I would if I were you.
Little Dandy recommends it.
I think we understand each other, Mr.
Haber? Joey.
You're late tonight.
It's only 9:30, what's the beef? A cup of black coffee and some brandy, Bill.
Where's Georgia? Still got 15 minutes to go.
Let your muscles sag.
Not much action tonight.
All right, I'll warm up what there is.
Look, Joey.
Three months ago, when we came, you could've parked box cars in this place.
Now you get reservations from Winchell and Lyons, the New Yorker I ain't denying it, Bert.
You understand how it is, I'm with you.
She should be here by now.
I know it.
What happened? I don't know what happened.
Well, is she going to be here, or isn't she? Stop worrying about it.
Bert.
Bert.
You better go talk to that guy that just came in.
What's he want? I don't know.
He wouldn't tell me.
But I know it's going to be something bad, real bad.
How do you know? I can just feel it.
You know how it is.
I don't care how you feel, stop showing it.
Cut it out, if you know what's good for you and me and Georgia.
But, Bert I mean it.
You know how they are.
They? I don't have to draw you a picture.
Now you've got to have a cover for us.
But there ain't nobody like you and Georgia.
Amos and Alice are looking for work.
You can get them.
Right now? Right now, here.
You'll find them listed.
Now give them a call.
I don't know whether It'll be all right.
They can get here in fifteen minutes.
But, Bert It's the only thing you can do.
Now, get on the phone.
Don't worry about it.
They'll be great.
You Bert Haber? Maybe.
Who are you? Jack Simpson, Detective, Manhattan East.
Are you acquainted with Hold it.
Let's see a badge or something, chief.
Not that way.
Show it to me under the table.
Okay, I'm Haber.
Are you acquainted with this woman? Yes.
But did you have to do it that way? There wasn't any other way.
We haven't made positive identification yet.
The only thing we could do under the circumstances was photograph her face right there.
Where? Where was right there? In an alleyway between two multiple dwellings.
West 55th Street between Ninth and Tenth Avenue.
Did she live in that neighborhood? No.
When was she found? Now, that's a good question.
What do you mean by that? I think you know what I mean, Mr.
Haber? Oh, I see.
You mean I act as if I knew it was going to happen.
Did you? I thought maybe it would.
I didn't know where, when or how.
Can you account for your movements, from the time you left here last night until when I came in just now? Yes, I can.
I took Georgia home from here.
Where does she live? East 61st Street.
It was 4:01 in the morning by the clock in the lobby of her building.
Wasn't that kind of early? This place doesn't close until about 4:00.
It'd take more than a minute to get uptown.
Yes, it was early.
But I felt responsible for her.
I've been getting her out before Joey closes.
See, there's a lot of business around closing time.
Nobody notices somebody leaving.
They were home and said they'd be right over.
They told me to thank you.
They're welcome.
Anything about Georgia? Mr.
Simpson is a detective.
He's asking questions.
Oh.
Can I offer you gentlemen a drink? Anything? No.
Ah, get me a double rye on the rocks.
Uh, make it a straight rye.
Listen, Simpson.
I went straight home when I left her apartment.
I slept until 6:00 this afternoon.
I tried to get her on the phone, but it just kept ringing.
If the call wasn't completed, there'd be no record of it.
The bartender is flipping.
Creature of habit.
He puts a muddler in a drink when there's nothing to stir but straight whiskey.
But you say, you made that call about 6:00? I wish you wouldn't do that.
Do what? Be so obvious.
They know what happened because they did it.
Don't you think that they'll be around, keeping an eye on me to see what I know about it? You could be right.
If you're gonna take notes, let's go someplace private.
Come on.
You mentioned a while ago about feeling responsible for her.
When did all this happen? Well, actually, I feel responsible for all the girls I work with.
Maybe you don't know how it is playing these joints.
Watching the jerks get three drinks in them and turn into great lovers.
But there is one thing you're gonna have to tell me.
Speaking of lovers, were you and Georgia Hmm.
In a way that nobody else could ever be.
When I was at the piano, she really got with it and they all shut up to listen.
She'd look at me and I'd look back.
Yes, there was a relationship there.
Oh, I see.
I don't think I made myself clear.
It was music, just music.
Mr.
Haber, what would you say if I told you that we have reason to believe it was Little Dandy? What reason? The way she looked, what they did to her.
Yes.
I saw the picture.
Did she ever meet Little Dandy? Yes.
You want to tell me about it? No.
But I have to, don't I? Yes.
All right.
It was just two weeks ago that Little Dandy and his gorillas walked in.
They caught her show, and every show since then.
Did he ever get out of line? Not at first.
Just sat there and sweated his eyeballs.
Then he started sending drinks over, flowers here to the club.
A case of champagne to her apartment.
He wouldn't give up.
Just kept pouring it on trying to move in on her.
Then, there was last night.
And? The works.
The complete works.
She poured a drink over his head.
Yeah, that would start him off.
He's a bug about his clothes.
I didn't help much, I guess.
When I saw that she was in trouble, I charged right in without thinking.
Somehow, he got shoved and ended up taking a pratfall.
Well, it all adds up.
The one thing that guy can never forgive is being made to look foolish in public.
So, you took her home? Oh, hi.
Hi, Bert, thanks a lot for the call.
Sure was lucky we were between jobs.
Think nothing of it, Amos.
Glad you and Alice could fill in.
What's the matter, Bert? Is Georgia sick? I'll tell you about it later.
Come on, Simpson, the kids have to get ready.
Then after Little Dandy took his walk, I came over to the bar.
I was feeling proud of Georgia, myself, too, I guess.
For putting Little Dandy in his place? Yes, I felt good.
Then There was a man sitting next to me minding his own business.
He started talking to me.
Bought me a drink.
Had you ever seen him before? Never.
But he knew all about me.
He had me pegged.
Staked out solid.
Did he threaten you? Yes, he threatened me.
How? Suggested that I take out some insurance.
Well, that isn't a threat.
He said Little Dandy recommended it.
Oh, I see.
He didn't give you any kind of name? No.
And I didn't have to ask him.
And, after you talked to this man, you took Georgia home? Yes.
I told her I thought I ought to stay with her.
Or she could spend the night at my place or call the cops.
What did she think of that? She just kissed me good night, patted my cheek She said, "Don't worry, sweetie.
"Georgia's a big girl.
" That was the last you saw of her? That was the last I saw of her.
Well, Mr.
Haber, you've given us quite a lot to go on.
I think maybe we can clear this up fast.
But I think we better give you some protection.
You think I need it? You're pretty valuable to us as a material witness when we put the arm on Little Dandy.
I'll be around.
But we want to make sure of that.
You finished here? Yeah.
We'll see you home now and tomorrow we'll put a man on you.
Okay.
In the back, Mr.
Haber.
My partner.
Little Dandy says hello.
A young skin diver Uh, not him.
was to come and explain this paraphernalia.
But he had to make a motion picture co-starred with an octopus.
Unfortunately, the young man won't be able to be here.
In his movie with the octopus, it turned out to be a tour-de-force for the octopus.
He stole the scene completely.
It's quite sad, really.
The young man was headed for stardom while the octopus is rather limited in the roles he can play.
Next time I shall be back again with another story.
Until then, good night.