Angie Tribeca (2016) s03e01 Episode Script

Welcome Back, Blotter

1 [Elevator bell dings.]
Hello? All: Surprise! [Gunshots.]
Tribeca, you silly goose.
It's your surprise retirement party, girl.
Oh, my God.
You guys totally got me! [Laughter.]
Not gonna be the same around here without you, Tribeca.
There's even talk of retiring your unisex blazer.
Thank you, sir.
Tribeca, the very best of luck.
It's been a pleasure working with you.
You too, Dr.
Edelweiss.
I feel exactly the same.
Well, actually, I might be leaving the force myself soon.
Yes, it appears the ethics lawsuit is gonna be pushed forward - [Gasps.]
Hoffman! - and I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm running out of money.
Hey! [Laughs.]
I think someone's gonna miss you the most.
Oh, I'm gonna miss you, too, Hoffman.
- [Barks.]
- [Laughs.]
That's why you pay in advance.
[Sniffles.]
All right, everybody, it's a party.
Come eat some cake.
Happy retirement, partner.
You know you don't have to do this, right? Everything's changed.
- We have a kid.
- Mm.
And I don't want to miss one moment of little - Angie - Angie's childhood.
I know.
I mean, he's not gonna be - 2 1/2 - 2 1/2 forever.
- You know what I mean, right? - Geils.
- Right.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's time to put the police work behind me and go balls deep into motherhood.
Do me a favor? Recycle these for me.
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
No one say a word.
Motherhood is not for everyone.
It doesn't me any less of a woman.
So I don't want to hear a peep out of any of you.
[Coughing.]
I have bronchitis.
Hey! Hey! Get that off of my street! You can't park that there.
I can't hear you because of the chopper.
Move that thing off of my street.
Ah! Ah! - Spare change? - Love some.
[Cup clatters.]
- [Bell dings.]
- Ow.
Oh, hello, Mr.
Farnsworth.
Where's my white rhino? Uh, well, we've actually only begun the process.
Whoa! Did I just tune in to some boring documentary about your pathetic little life? Let me see if I can change the channel.
No.
Nope! Ah, there's the show I like.
The one where you give me my stuffed white rhino.
It's just that you dropped it off yesterday.
- Stuff it! - I just I Stuff it, or I will stuff you.
[Bell jingles.]
Is there any way to spruce up this owl in time for the children's exhibit? Aww.
I-It Let's go, Ricardo.
I haven't got all day.
Wait a minute.
You're not Ricardo.
[High-pitched scream.]
Welcome back, Tribeca.
Not a moment too soon.
I'm afraid the unthinkable has happened.
A rich white man's disappeared.
Duncan Farnsworth I.
I.
I.
disappeared from his helicopter two days ago.
I'm pretty sure it's the third, sir.
Already seeing a pattern.
How'd we get along without you? What do we know about this guy other than his dad and grandfather's first name? Married, three kids, got rich inventing an oil - that doesn't wash off penguins.
- Got it.
And, Tribeca, if you need to split time between your son and the office, - we'll work around it.
- Not a problem, sir.
We sent little Angie off to a private boarding school - in Maine.
- [Gasps.]
We're really hoping he gets in.
As long as we're swapping personal stuff, I, uh I've decided to start dating again.
I'm staring down the dark, black abyss of retirement, and it would be nice to drag someone down with me.
We'll keep an eye out, sir.
And, uh, Tribeca.
Make sure she knows how to pick out fruit in a grocery, if you know what I mean.
I do not.
Copy that.
Turns out Mr.
Farnsworth was very popular on the Internet.
Hoffman, show them what you found.
[Mouse clicking.]
Farnsworth was a trophy hunter.
Stanley Cup, Heisman, big plate from Wimbledon, then he turned his interest to endangered species.
Geez, look at some of these negative comments.
"Die, you worthless P.
O.
S.
" "You're everything wrong with the world.
" "Make $40 an hour working from home"? This guy didn't vanish.
Somebody grabbed him.
And it looks like we have about 60,000 suspects.
We gonna need a shitload of handcuffs.
All right, Tanner, you and Hoffman go talk to the wife, and Geils and I will try to track down the helicopter pilot who saw him last.
We got an address on him.
Ricardo Vasquez.
But it's in Miami.
Looks like we're taking this show on the road.
Angie Tribeca Can I help you? We're looking for a Ricardo Vasquez.
Is he home? Oh, Mr.
Vasquez moved back to Los Angeles.
Okay, thank you very much.
Angie Tribeca [Scoffs.]
A trophy hunter? My husband? [Chuckles.]
There must be some mistake.
There's no mistake, ma'am.
Is this your husband? Yes, that's my husband.
I don't recognize that rug he's holding, though.
[Growls.]
When was the last time you saw your husband? Besides in the photo.
Mm.
Two days ago.
Anything unusual about his behavior? Except murdering everything he sees? Oh, he got up, prayed in front of a portrait of himself, had a glass of camel milk, and took off in his helicopter Typical Thursday.
Ma'am, this is a serious situation.
Now, I think your husband might be kidnapped.
Or worse, he was kidnapped.
[Scoffs.]
Look, this is clearly a matter for the police.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get on with my day.
Ahh.
I've always wanted to meet a helicopter pilot.
Can I help you?! Are you Ricardo Vasquez? I'm sorry?! Are you Ricardo Vasquez?! Yeah, that's me! LAPD, sir! Do you mind if we ask you a couple questions?! Yeah, sure, come on in! Keep your heads down! It's gonna be fun! We wanted to ask you a couple of questions about your employer, Duncan Farnsworth.
Yeah, go ahead.
You're his pilot, right? And you were flying with him on the morning of the 19th? - Affirmative.
- And now Farnsworth and his helicopter are both missing.
Care to shed any light on that? I dropped off Farnsworth at the taxidermy shop, and then I went to get a coffee.
When I got back, Farnsworth and the chopper were gone.
- Grand Canyon on your left.
- [Helicopter blades whir.]
I find it hard to believe that you left your helicopter in the middle of the street to go get a coffee.
Sounds pretty implausible, doesn't it? Well, you got me.
I was lying.
Truth is, some dude slipped me 1,000 bucks to disappear for 10 minutes.
We're gonna need you to come down to the station and talk to a sketch artist.
Sounds great.
One more question.
Are you concerned about your employer? To tell you the truth, ma'am, he was not a very nice person.
Thank you, sir.
Let us know if you hear anything.
Let's go, Geils.
[Vomits.]
Tribeca, welcome back.
I heard you had retired.
Well, I guess you can take the girl out of the cop, but you can't take the cop out of the girl.
I could.
Monica, Tribeca and I are together.
You have to accept that.
They said you had an idea on the Farnsworth case? Yes.
Come over here.
It's not too often a rich white guy goes missing, so it got me thinking.
This is an unsolved case from a few months ago.
This is, or was, Lawrence T.
Boozler VII.
You mean, like Boozler University, Boozler Steaks, Boozler Wine & Spirits? That's him, or that was him until he was kidnapped, stripped naked, beheaded, and mounted.
Don't tell me he was a trophy hunter.
Bingo.
[Sighs.]
This guy is still out there.
And if it's the same one that has Farnsworth, we're looking at a serial killer.
And we're running out of time.
So sorry.
Package for Angie Tribeca.
Dr.
Edelweiss? What are you doing? Since I left the force, I've had to pick up any job I can.
I'm afraid the package came open.
I think it's some kind of scale cream, but I didn't look.
Thanks.
As you were.
This guy is still out there.
And if it's the same one that has Farnsworth, we're looking at a serial killer.
And we're running out of time.
[Panting.]
[Distorted voice.]
Oh, good, you're awake.
Who are you? What do you want from me?! I'll ask the questions if you don't mind.
Who am I? What do I want from you? All in due time.
Meanwhile, enjoy your accommodations.
[Animals squeaking.]
Hey! Hey! [Whimpering.]
[Screams.]
[Sobbing.]
All right, what do we know so far? Um, I'm Beth Wiedner.
I'm from Pittsburgh, and I have two sisters.
I don't like it.
Something doesn't add up.
Oh, well, I was born in Cleveland, but I moved to Pittsburgh when I was 3.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna dig into the breadsticks while you got to bar and get us a couple of drinks.
Actually, I think the waiter will It's not a request, Wiedner! - [Cellphone rings.]
- Hang on.
I have to take this.
You hit the breadsticks while I go see what I can dig up on this "waiter.
" Atkins.
A serial killer? I'll be right there.
Sorry, Wiedner.
This is gonna have to wait.
Mom.
I think I met the one.
It's bad, Lieutenant.
I think we have an animal-rights fanatic who's targeting trophy hunters.
He's already kidnapped one man stripped and mounted him.
And I have a hunch he's gonna do the same - to Farnsworth.
- Do we have any leads? What the hell do we know about this guy? We have a sketch from the helicopter pilot who saw Farnsworth last.
Sorry.
I shouldn't have jogged over here.
Do you have any idea what's gonna happen when the press figures out that there's a crazy serial killer singling out rich white men?! We understand the stakes, sir.
I want ideas! Do we have anybody inside the animal-rights movement? We had a mole, but they rescued him and set him free.
I know someone who might know something.
Who? The Zookeeper.
Tribeca, no.
Who's the Zookeeper? The Zookeeper, or Dr.
Thomas Hornbein, was a psychopath Tribeca put away 10 years ago, back when you were in diapers.
How'd you know about that? He was a world-renowned doctor of zoology and an extremist in the animal-rights movement.
He preached that humans were the ones who belonged in a zoo, not animals.
So he'd kidnap zoo-goers, locked them in his basement, feed them fruit and peanuts, and parade animals in front of them to laugh and jeer as they humped one another.
Now he's the one who's in a cage.
- Let's go talk to him.
- No.
I have to go alone.
We have a special relationship.
[Buzzer.]
Do not touch the glass.
Do not approach the glass.
If he attempts to pass you something, do not take it.
If he asks what you're doing on Friday, say you have family in town.
And if he brings up "Game of Thrones," you tell him you haven't seen it yet.
[Hinges creak.]
[Door slams.]
Inmate: Hey, baby.
[Smooching.]
Inmate #2: Hubba-hubba.
I likey what I see.
Inmate #3: Hey, baby! I Uh, bangs.
Ms.
Tribeca.
Dr.
Hornbein.
[Inhales deeply.]
Mmm.
You've been well.
Do I smell a child? You smell a lot, Doctor.
Oh, please.
Please sit.
So, what brings you to the Mennen Speed Stick Maximum Security Prison? We keep sweat locked up.
We need your help.
Hmm.
That is ironic, isn't it? Like the way Miss Piggy considers herself desirable.
We realize the unusual nature of this request, but I wouldn't be here if it weren't a matter of life and death.
Let me put it to you this way.
I will do something for you if you do something for me, for there is no Latin expression that would better describe this.
- What do you want? - I want to be transferred to a Courtyard Marriott with an indoor pool.
I want $670,000 in cash and prizes no matter what I bid.
We can arrange that.
And I want to know something personal about you.
You're a madman.
You're gonna die in here.
As will Mr.
Farnsworth.
Oh, yes, I know all about Mr.
Boozler and Mr.
Farnsworth, Ms.
Tribeca.
You may want to adjust the privacy settings on your Facebook page.
What do you want to know? Your hair, your tail you're in heat! You have a boyfriend.
I I mean Do you love him? It's complicated.
Yes.
No.
I don't know.
Well, there was an animal-rights activist that came to visit me a few years ago.
Very intense, very devoted to the cause perhaps too devoted.
And if you're here, that means he has struck again.
What's his name? Why is it so hard for you to let people in, Tribeca? Because I don't know who I am.
Oh.
Wow.
That's super heavy.
Shit.
You should talk to someone.
What's his name, Dr.
Hornbein? His name was and keep in mind these letters will be scrambled Obrin Saydor.
Address? Hold on one second.
Let me figure out what it would be scrambled.
421 Chuntset Treest.
Ols Gangeles, Calionifa.
Okay, yeah, I got it.
I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Let me walk you out.
There's some real maniacs in here.
All right, we figured out his name Robin Dorsay.
But we're getting nowhere on the address.
So think, people, think.
A man's life is at stake.
Sandwich man here.
Uh, who ordered the, uh, grilled vegetables - on ciabatta? - That's me.
Uh, Chuntest, Chunsest? Tushcent! No, there's no Tushcent Street.
We're running out of time.
Chicken salad on rye? Right here.
I got it.
I got it.
It's - Meatball Parmesan? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead, Tanner.
What do you got? I'm sorry.
I lost it.
Hornbein: [Echoing.]
Chuntset Chuntset Chuntset.
Tribeca, are you listening to me? Chestnut.
It's Chestnut Street.
Chestnut Street.
Good, there is one of those.
Nice work, Tribeca.
All right, people, let's move.
I've got a tuna bomb, heavy on the mustard, no name.
[Indistinct radio chatter.]
S.
W.
A.
T.
Agent #1: Bedroom 1 clear.
S.
W.
A.
T.
Agent #2: Bedroom 2 clear.
Tanner: Hot Pockets in the freezer? Yay! Tribeca: Duncan Farnsworth? LAPD.
You're okay.
Who's there? Geils? Tanner? Who's there? Robin Dorsay? You're under arrest.
We have your house surrounded.
I'm warning you.
Tribeca, what are you doing wandering around the basement? We checked the whole house and Oh, no.
Farnsworth.
We're too late.
At least he died with a great body.
Look at these lats.
[Sighs.]
Oh, my God.
[Monkey screeching.]
He's making suits out of human clothes.
What? Robin Dorsay if that's even his real name he's killing trophy hunters, and he's giving their clothes to the animals.
With these human clothes, the animals would be able to hide in plain sight.
Totally camouflaged from their hunters.
He's got a taste for making animal outfits now.
He won't stop.
Tribeca, I know that look.
Don't tell me you're developing an obsession - with the killer.
- No.
No, not at all.
[Cellphone rings.]
Tribeca.
It's the killer.
Hey, you.
[Chuckles.]
No, now's a great time.

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