Animals. (2016) s03e06 Episode Script
At a Loss for Words When We Need Them Most... Or: The Rise and Fall of Grabbagville
1 (SPITS) PHIL: You flushed $10 million down the drain by stepping on that thumb drive.
You realize that, you pudgy fuck-boy? Yeah, I do.
Fuck off.
I'm gonna cut you open while you're sleeping.
(GIGGLING) Plonky's just so happy to live with Phil and Mike.
Just so stoked! Plonky loves Phil and Mike and all their tête-à -têtes.
Just so cool, so funny! Are you seeing Plonky? - I see Plonky.
- You do? The mutual hallucination brought on by our BOTH: self-imposed captivity.
- Yeah, yeah, of course, I see Plonky.
- Don't overthink it, dudes.
Uh, look at my big butt! Ooh-ooh-woo! - (MIKE CHUCKLES) - Why would we imagine that little butt? He's got a tiny little butt.
It's so cute.
Plonky used to dance for money! So, if Plonky's in our imagination, that means we can turn Plonky into anything we want.
But Plonky loves being Plonky, though.
Shut the fuck up, Plonky! You know what? I'm just gonna give it a whirl.
Uh, can of soda! Aah, fuck you! - MIKE: Holy shit! It worked! - Are you kidding me? - Well, it's ginger ale, but you know.
- You go! How 'bout a baseball signed by Benny Agbayani? - PHIL: Batter up! - MIKE: Yo! It worked! - Sick.
Benny's my boy.
- Okay.
Let me go.
Balloons.
(FLATLY) Cool.
This game sucks.
I don't wanna play anymore.
Yeah, totally.
It's so annoying.
Laura? (GASPS) Hi! - MIKE: Uh - PHIL: Mike, who's this? Laura, the one who got away.
Your ex-fiancée? - That's her.
- Are you kidding? I was your hostess at the Cheesecake Factory.
After you called the ambulance when I fainted, you said, "I will be here for you.
I will wait for you.
" You dookied in your damn JNCOs, and you said you were gonna come pick them up later.
I don't think so.
Damn, homie.
You dookied your JNCOs? Sister's gonna fall right out, Mikey.
Can I ask you something? Do you like McDonalds? How often do you go there? Well, yeah, sure.
I love McDonalds.
What do you say you and me get a couple of Happy Meals, gobble 'em all up, and then make a stinky little Indian sweat tent with me in my bottom bunk.
What do you think about that? Okay, you're disgusting.
Please stop.
Aah! Boy! You guys have been in here too long.
You clearly have bunker brain.
Mm, we got the bunker brain.
She's right.
We got the bunker brain.
Oh, you know what would be funny? If she turned into my ex-girlfriend.
My ex-girlfriend! Ow.
That's, uh What did I expect? So, did you never have a girlfriend? Is that is that what that means? Nary a one.
Uh, turn into my future girlfriend.
Gotta get one eventually.
Go! Philly, where you been all night? I already told you, honey, I've been working all night.
All right? Get off my back.
WOMAN MIKE: The thing is, I called the office, and they said you left hours ago.
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) PHIL: Do you hear that? It's our song! WOMAN MIKE: Philly, that's our song, Philly.
(PHIL HUMMING TO MUSIC) PHIL: I love my woman This is right, Philly.
(SMOOCHES) Get in here! You know you want to! Yabba-dabba-do! Yeah! I got two Mikes.
(FARTS) PLONKY: Sometimes, they just go crazy without you.
My job is done! Please enjoy this rerun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, on HBO.
- Whoop! - (POPS) (STATIC CRACKLES) YUMI: They called us Grabbags.
I guess 'cause we're a mixture of species: hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, and I, the last ferret.
But that's not all they called us.
They said vile things, awful things, I won't repeat here or ever again.
We found ourselves in the Forgotten Area, the devastated epicenter of the Green Day explosion.
This is where we found the orb.
I became the leader of the Grabbags.
I don't know why.
Maybe because I have the strongest connection to the orb.
Maybe because, I'm, like fuckin' kickass at karate.
(SCREECHING) (YUMI SHOUTS) (YUMI GRUNTING) Hi.
I'm Yumi.
YUMI: But alas, despite being unable to communicate with one another, Grabbagville was born.
(ORB THRUMMING) - (CHITTERING) - (SQUEAKING) (FEEDBACK WHINES) What is this thing? (AUDIENCE MURMURING) Holy shit! When you talk into it, we can understand you! Holy shit! Chompy! That's what you sound like, huh? (CHUCKLES) Yeah! Wait.
What? Through this object, we can understand each other! - All hail the orb! - (CHEERING) I just heard a ferret talk for the first time because of that big dang talk-box thingy right there.
If I had pearls, I'd be clutching 'em right now.
Yep.
My hand is there at my chest.
- Michael? - Yes, Philerp.
I think we gots to steal that talk-box thingy.
Um, okay.
- I just - Yeah? What is it? See you had said that we were gonna steal the disco ball first.
No! No, Michael, listen.
- I just want the disco ball.
- Hey! Hey! Focus up! We can steal the disco ball, and the talk-box.
I'll steal anything you want, honestly, that's what we do.
- That's our thing.
- That's our thing.
We steal stuff.
I think, maybe we should just go home, we get high, and we come up with a game plan.
That sounds so nice.
Go home, just smoke a big ol' fat J.
Smoke a big ol', fat ol' doink, - and we watch The Nut Job 2.
- That sounds good.
DOGS: Cheese! All right, let's do a silly one! DAWN: I'm sorry, this is just so crazy that you can understand me, and I can understand you! - Can you believe it? - It's so sick! - Yeah.
- It's so fucking sick! You're kind and intelligent.
And and you're such an amazing artist.
Thanks.
I've actually been the one - tagging our symbol all over the city.
- YUMI: Oh.
I've sort of been getting my graf' game on.
Your painting's so vivid.
- So lucid.
- Lucid? Do ferrets have the word "floobahgahnoosh"? - Uh, no.
- Okay.
There goes floobahgahnoosh.
It feels so good to finally be able to talk to you, Dawn.
What do you wanna talk and converse about? - Uh - Sex? I've never had it! There! I said it! Oh, that feels good.
You know what? How 'bout we just go home and rest up? I'm sure the Unburdening Ceremony tomorrow is gonna be a long one.
Yeah, okay, sounds good.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) (MUSIC ECHOING) PHIL: All right, so here's the deal.
We want to steal the Grabbags' floating disco ball thingy and add it to our collection of stolen stuff.
- Right? - (STRAINED) Right.
What I'm proposing is (EXHALES) Proposing? To me? (COUGHS) Yes! I gotta call my dad! - Oh my God! - No, Mike! I didn't mean proposing like nuptials.
I meant proposing like throwing an idea out there, okay? Okay, so you don't want to get married? - Is that what you're saying? - Goodness gracious, Michael! Eventually, I would like to get married, sure, but let's just, like, focus on stealing shit right now, okay? I'm gonna pull this down to mask my tears, but I am listening, please continue.
- All right, so here's my game plan.
- Go ahead.
Tomorrow night, we steal the Grabbags' talk-box thingy, we bring it down to the sewer, and we use it to rally all the reptiles.
After that, we drill up into Grabbagville, and then, we're able to steal the orb! How's that sound, Mike? Mike? (GASPS) - Michael! Wake up! - (MIKE GROANS) Oh, you held it in too long.
- I'm fine, dude.
- You have to breathe! - I just, um - You're floating.
I just spoke to God.
She did not like me.
- Oh, no.
- That was a horrific experience.
Listen, if you're gonna float, I'm gonna float, too.
- Just give me a second.
- (BURBLING) YUMI: Welcome, Grabbags.
As you know, our unburdening ceremonies are for the liberation of the soul.
Now, I know it might be a little awkward now, since we can understand each other, but if anyone's brave enough (GRUNTS) Chompy! Where are my Chomp-heads at? - (CHEERING) - Somebody chomp me! - (CHEERING STOPS) - (FEEDBACK WHINES) - (DISTANT COUGH) - The fuck?! Come on! It's play off of The Mask.
Uh, Chompy, you know, these ceremonies aren't for grievances, but more of a personal reflection.
Oh, really? Then why is Dawn complaining about you constantly clogging the shower - with all your ferret hair then? - What?! - Gimme that! - (CHOMPY SCREAMS) It was more like a personal anecdotal stand-up bit, you know, like Jim Gaffigan.
(CHUCKLES) He's still a good guy, right? Where Where are my Gaffigan-heads at? Hot Pockets! (HOWLS) Ooh, it's the thrill of the drama! I love drama.
Chompy, chomp-chomp! Chompy, enough! All you do is start trouble! It's 'cause Dawn is a guinea pig and I am a ferret! You know I'm the only kind of my species! But, Yumi, I've been trying to tell you something for a while now.
You ain't the last ferret! There's a whole tribe of 'em in South Squirrel Square! - (CROWD MURMURING) - Chompy! Oh my God.
Everybody go home! The unburdening ceremony is canceled for the rest of the day! (HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) Adventurin' horse.
Adventurin', doing tricks for money! Oh, are there really more ferrets out there? (DAWN SQUEAKING) Dawn! (SQUEAKS) (YUMI SIGHS) From what I'm gathering through body language, - it seems like you like it.
- (YUMI CHITTERING) (CHUCKLES) Get in here, you big furry worm.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO) Oh, what is that? (CHITTERING) YUMI: Is that supposed to be me? DAWN: I don't think all ferrets look the same.
That's not cool, Yumi! You know what? We're gonna have this out.
We're going to the communicator right now.
YUMI: Come with me! (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, Mike? You know, Mike, we said we were gonna go steal the talk-box thingy at 8:00 p.
m.
, and it's 7:55.
I mean, we don't know what traffic's gonna be like.
Give me a second! I just I just need to put on the dang eyelash to my right eye, - and that's gonna be it, okay? - Hold on a second, Mike.
Why are you dressed like a geisha? Because you're dressed like a ninja, so I'm on theme.
We're not going to a Halloween party, Mike! But we're a couple, so we have to complement each other.
- That's the whole thing! - No, no, no, Mike! We're going on a smash-and-grab, okay? That means we need to be stealthy.
- I can move perfectly fine in this.
- (SHOES CLACKING) You're wearing wooden little sandals! I love my wooden blocks that I'm wearing on my little feet! (SIGHS) I can't get angry at those petite feet.
They are too cute.
Stick out your tongue right now.
Ah Damn chinchillas smell like milk and it drives me crazy! And the gerbils are cheap and lazy.
Chompy for high priestess! Chompy! What the hell's going on over here? - Saved the Day is not just an emo band.
- Stand back, you guys.
All right, all right! That is it! This object is officially off-limits to everyone.
Report back to your homes immediately.
- (CLACKING) - (PHIL SHUSHING) Is there any way you can keep those down a little bit? I'm sorry, it's just it comes with the territory of the geisha.
PHIL (WHISPERING): Fine, fine, fine! Do you know if it's blue wire to red wire? - Just twist 'em up.
- (ENGINE STARTS) Oh! Oh my God! Can I just say something? These Grabbags, they're good at making shit.
I mean, their progress is incredible.
The last one ran on grapes.
MIKE: Shit! Oh, shit.
Who is that? I think that's Dawn.
She's dating, uh, Yumi.
The high priestess of the Grabbags? See you've been picking up on the ins and outs of the Grabbaggers.
Dawn is dating Yumi, and Bruce just cheated on Alex - with Terrence.
- No! (THRUMMING) YUMI: Oh, great, grand orb.
This gift that you bestowed, it's not bringing us together.
It's tearing Grabbagville apart.
But it doesn't have to! - (GASPS) Chompy.
- You know, Yumi, the ability to communicate to every species, that's a hot commodity! And with the twist of a word or two here and there - Bam! - (GASPS) Suddenly, instead of the rats asking the horses for ten pounds of grain, they said, "Hey, horse, fuck you!" And then the rats are battling the horses, and the cats are battling the dogs, and Chompy's chomping all the chomp-chomps, baby! We are not starting an animals war, Chompy.
(GROANS) You're the boss, Yumi.
- Chomp you later.
- (YUMI GROANS) (THRUMMING) I think I'm just jealous because I wanted to dress up like a geisha.
He looks so pretty.
That's my problem is that I always go practical.
(SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) (PHIL GROANS) Oh, this rearview camera is so cool.
Oh my God! Phil! Are you okay? What happened? I got injured.
- Oh, no.
- I'm a nin-jure.
- (MIKE CHUCKLES) - I'm nin-jured.
Let me go ahead and get you home.
Whoa, come on, help me load the talk-box thingy into the car.
Oh, yeah, that's what we're here for.
We did it! Nice, good work.
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
You wanna jerk me off on the ride home? - MIKE: Yeah! - (TIRES SQUEAL) Right, okay.
Stop.
Honk the horn.
(HORN PLAYS "DIXIE") - (MIKE BURPS) - Excuse me! Cold-blooded brethren of the underground! Hi! (CHUCKLES) Uh, my name's Phil, - and this is my partner, Mike.
- That's me.
Us reptiles have been confined to these sewers for three long years using gosh-darn heat lamps to mimic sunlight, which sure, heat lamps are the shit.
Whoo! Heat lamps! (LAUGHS) But we believe that it's time that all of us freaky-ass, green-skinned, ugly motherfuckers unify and reclaim the above land from all those warm-blooded, fur-covered, nasty-ass animals up there! Heat lamps! God! What are you doing? What are you doing? - I love the heat.
I thought - It's okay.
It's fine.
(GROWLING, HISSING) We need your help.
We need your strength.
We're proposing that we drill directly above us, and take over the weakest link of the "warmbloodeds": - the Grabbags.
- MIKE: Ew, they nasty! Whatever.
They've got this all-powerful floating disco ball that Mike and I wanna put in our living room.
It's gonna tie the room together so nicely.
Whoo! Yes! Tomorrow (IN DEEP, GRAVELLY VOICE): we take over the above-land.
Yeah! Heat lamps! (GIGGLES) Fuckin' heat lamps! (CHITTERING, SQUEAKING) YUMI: What What's going on? (GASPS) The talk-box thingy's missing! Oh my God.
Somebody took it.
(ORB THRUMMING) Chompy! Chompy, you did this, didn't you? (SQUEAKS) You stole it! Where is it? Give it to me! Yumi, you're being crazy.
Please calm down.
Give it back! Son of a bitch! (GASPS) Oh, shit.
We're allowed to do that? (WHISPERS): What have I done? Grabbag riot! (PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) I've lost control of myself.
I've lost control of my people, but are these even my people? (PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) I'm gonna go to Squirrel Square and find my family.
I'm sorry! Especially Dawn.
(CRIES) Goodbye.
(GRUNTING) Does anyone know what she said? Okay, I'll see you later, honey.
(PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) (BIRDS TWITTERING) Oh! Hey, check it out.
A new ferret! Yumi? Is that Is that you, Yumi? Dad? (PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) (GROWLING, GRUNTING) You know what? Listen.
Can I say something? This fuckin' orb is weird, right? What's the deal with this thing? I mean, why in the heck are we praying to a big, floating marble? Hey, Chompy ain't scared of you, marble.
You dumb fuck-boy! (LOUD RUMBLING) Oh, shit.
Hey, I was just playing with you, orb.
Chompy's cool.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) - Attention, Grabbags! - Hello! Hi, everybody.
I I feel like I don't have that much of a commanding voice.
I was gonna say, they don't look scared.
You want Jeremy to do it? - Hey, Jeremy! - (RIBBITS) Can you come up here? Yeah, come on up.
- Come here! - (RIBBITS) We're not gonna hurt you.
Uh, here we go.
Yeah.
(CROAKING): Hello, Grabbags.
I am Phil.
This is my boyfriend, Mike.
Today, you die.
Okay, Chomp-heads.
Let's fucking do this! (GRUNTING) No, no, please (LAUGHING) Gee whiz.
Wait, Yumi.
Let me get this straight.
You lived with Grabbags this whole time.
Now, aren't they all, pardon my French, un tas de retard? What?! No! They're actually quite resourceful and clever.
We all live together rather harmoniously.
What? Interspecies? No, Yumi, it It just ain't right.
Like us ferrets and these squirrels.
We hate their guts 'cause they're different and and suck.
- BOTH: Ferrets rule! - (GUNSHOT ECHOES) (GASPS) Oh my God! You almost hit him.
Hey, is it true that guinea pigs only eat shit, like their own shit? You know, Terrence told me that, Terrence don't lie.
What?! No! It is not true, not at all.
I was actually dating a guinea pig, Dawn.
She is a beautiful artist, and - I don't like that! - Makes me sick! No, no, no.
Yumi, we don't date at all in Ferretville.
- What? - No boyfriends, no girlfriends, nothing of the sort.
Because this is all we need.
- (GASPS) - Oh, not much of a gun nut, huh? Well, let me explain in song.
Terrence, let's kick up some dust.
Well, I don't like the hims And I don't like the hons I don't like 'em old And I don't like 'em young There is this one thing I find mighty fun I love fucking my, I love fucking my I love fucking my gun - Yeah, sweet pea! - Get 'em! Woo! I tried watchin' porno and I tried it in the bum Shit, I thought, I might never cum Till I found my only one - I love fuckin' my gun - (WHOOPING) My gun's my girlfriend My gun's my god, my gun's my daughter And my gun's my mom We call our orgies a firing squad 'Cause we love fucking our guns - FERRET: Oh, do me! - Woo! FERRET: I'm a redneck! - (GUNFIRE) - FERRET: Yeah! - FERRET: Pump it out! - (MUSIC CONTINUES) - FERRET: Here we go! - (GUNS COCK) - (GUNFIRE) - (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (WHOOPING) - (GUNSHOT) (SLOW BALLAD) We don't want a war And we don't want a battle 'Cause it ain't immoral To fuck a barrel Yes, gun nuts will go nuts for the Second Amendment 'Cause that is on which our sex lives Are dependent (UP-TEMPO) 'Cause we love fuckin' our guns! FERRETS: Great job.
- That was really good.
- YUMI: Excuse me.
These ferrets are just like any of the other animal sectors: ignorant, scared, confused.
They don't open themselves to other species.
But the Grabbags all chose to be together.
Oh God, I abandoned the Grabbags.
I abandoned my family.
I must return.
- (TOILET FLUSHES) - (YUMI GASPS) What the fuck? This is the girls' room! Yumi, I'm a talking receipt, created by the orb.
You gotta chill with that binary stuff.
Listen, you need to return to Grabbagville right now! - They're in great danger! - Okay.
Well, I was actually just about to head out.
I don't know if my speech made that clear or not.
Okay, right, right, hey! Just making sure.
So, guys, you know what? This isn't actually working for me.
So, I'm gonna take off, and, you know, take care.
Oh, Yumi, you're not going so soon, are you? The second act is all about primate change.
I mean "cli-mate" change.
(KISS) Man, these Grabbags are actually scary.
We need to take one of these hostages, and I'm sorry to say, but I need you to scalp 'em or something.
Oh, that's no problem.
I can do that.
I'll take care of that.
I'll do the scalping, everybody.
Uh, that guinea pig.
(GRUNTING) Did you see that motherfucker sucker punch me? I'm gonna rip his fucking head off.
Hey, that's Dawn! Oh my God! This is perfect! Alexander, can you grab us Dawn, please? Alexander, you better go ahead and get those little feetsies moving to get Dawn! Go! You know, don't bring up feet with Alexander.
- He's a snake.
- I said it, and as soon as - the words left my mouth - I know.
We had Secret Santa one year, and I got him shoes.
- Oh my God! - But I didn't know it was him! I didn't yeah.
It was like a grab bag sorta (VOICES OVERLAPPING) It was a grab bag Secret Santa.
It was awkward.
He thought they were hats, Mike.
- MIKE: No! - PHIL: He tied it like a bonnet.
Oh, Alexander.
Hi, Dawn! Get off me, snake.
No! This feels weird.
This feels weird! - Mike.
- Philip.
Unsheathe your sexy-ass knife.
Oh, this little thing? (MANIACAL LAUGHTER) BOTH: Yeah! Hey, listen, I don't have no problem with reptiles.
I mean, what is with your skin? Why is it like that? Let the guinea pig go.
Oh, shit! - It's Yumi! - (FARTS) - Hey, Yumi.
- Hey, Yumi! We're just here fucking your whole shit up! Holy shit.
Is she doing a flying kick - right into our Ow! - Whoa! Yumi! It's not what it looks like.
We was just gonna skin all the Grabbags alive and take your Ow! We were just gonna drown the young ones! Ow! (BOTH GRUNTING) Yumi, don't use my face as a punching bag.
(SCREAMING) You can't deny that that's a good visual gag.
It really is.
Dawn! Dawn! (MOANING) - I'm so sorry I left you.
- I'm so grateful you came back.
(VOICES OVERLAPPING) - Let's go! We have to fight! - Let's go win this.
Chompy.
I know you might not be able to understand me, but I am sorry for accusing you.
Let's work together.
Gimme some skin! Chompy! (HISSES) Yumi, I'm sorry! We was being ignorant.
I don't want to lose you a second time.
I'm your father, and I need to be in your life.
And if that means making friendly with these Grabbags, well, then, so be it.
Come here, you little booger.
Come here.
(KISSING) Father! That is a reptile! They're the bad guys! They're gonna kill us all! Oh! Okay, then! - (GRUNTING) - Get 'em, boys! Say what? No! Guns are for the bedroom.
(GRUNTING) Fuck! (HISSING) (PHIL GROANS) (GROANS) Well, looks like we done lost, Mike.
We did, but, goddamn, it was a valiant effort.
What do you say we spark this doobie and go down with the ship? - That sounds great.
- (INHALES) Ah! PHIL: Oh, hey, Dawn's coming over to say something to us.
Hey, Dawn, how's it going? - I'm sorry about before - Hiyah! Dawn, you broke his fucking no Ow! I should've seen that coming.
Can you give me some paper towels, please? Hold on a second.
(SNIFFS) You smell smoke? MIKE: Oh, shit, the tent's on fire! Everybody, run! Everybody, run, go! The tent's on fire! - (PANICKED CHITTERING) - CHOMPY: Chompy! Run! Run! I'm so fucking high.
(CRYING) Goodbye.
DAWN: Grabbagville was a beautiful idea, but as with all beautiful things, the world doesn't understand it.
Goodbye, Grabbagville.
(SADLY) Chompy.
Smoke's coming from your ears Hi.
Hello.
Listen, about before, it was a whole thing, we're sorry about it.
- I only have one question.
- You go first? What did you want with our orb? I mean, really, it was it was to tie the room together.
Excuse me, what? To tie the room together, like a centerpiece for our living room.
It was actually an anniversary gift I was getting for Mike.
(CHUCKLES) He got me tickets to Disney.
- I did.
- You know, Disney, the sex club? It's a sex club called Disney.
Yumi's about to lose her shit.
(SHOUTS) Yumi is about to lose her shit! You wanted an omnipotent floating orb to simply use as decoration.
Cut the crap! What do you say, Yumi? A gecko stew or maybe a jerky? (GULPS) Untie them and send them on their way.
- What?! - You heard me.
Let's bite their fucking heads off! Chompy's looking to chomp-chomp, baby! Yeah, Yumi, one of the little green dudes was about to chop my head off, - if you remember correctly.
- No, no, no! No, you got it all wrong! I wouldn't have done it really.
I wouldn't have! I just like the threat of violence.
- It's just a threat.
- (GRUNTS) Grabbags of Grabbagville, reptiles of the underworld, don't you see? We're the same.
Perhaps our blood is warm, and we have fur instead of scales, but we are diverse species united.
That Yumi.
Fuck me! She's so good at this crap.
YUMI: The orb is a symbol of inclusion.
We will no longer shroud it under our ceremonial tent.
It is not ours to keep.
The orb belongs to all animals, as does this tool: The Grand Communicator.
Reptiles, join us in rebuilding.
That sounds like a plan! What do you say, reptiles? MIKE: Yes! We're getting married! (CHEERING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) YUMI: There it is, the future.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) BOTH: Grand Communicator Communications, please hold.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (PHONES RINGING) Oh, boy.
Can you not draw a circle? - Okay.
Okay, got it.
- There shouldn't be a point.
We need to float some pre-release models to the social media influencers and early adopters in tech.
Those fucking freaks.
And then offer up the pre-sale code in conjunction with the Spotify promo! - Come on, guys, wake up.
- Chompy, please! We need to run a ballsy outdoor campaign.
You know, turn some heads! What about this? Grand Communicator 3.
0: Fuck Your Mother! - Chompy! - Chompy is a friggin' genius.
Thank you.
I mean, I like the idea, of "ballsy outdoor campaign," but then, after that, nothing else is really usable.
"Fuck your mother!" Come on! Let's move on to the next point, please.
Understand the purpose of making Hello, I'm Yumi.
Founder and CEO of Grand Communicator Communications.
We all remember gathering around the living room and talking into the Grand Communicator 1.
0.
And the constant neck pain that came with the bulky Grand Communicator 2.
0.
But our newest product, Grand Communicator 3.
0, will surely change the world.
It fits snugly right inside your mouth, and now, thanks to us, the Grabbags, any species of any kind can communicate with one another.
No hindrance whatsoever.
- That's right.
We did that.
- We did it! Remember when you were all dicks to us, well now, us Grabbags are fucking rich as shit! You'll still buy it.
You'll buy anything we make, you sheep.
You little, dirty figurative sheep.
GRAND COMMUNICATOR 3.
0: Fuck Your Mother! Chompy.
Well, I tried watchin' porno and I tried it in the bum Shit, I thought I might never cum Till I found my only one I love fuckin' my gun My gun's my girlfriend, my gun's my god My gun's my daughter
You realize that, you pudgy fuck-boy? Yeah, I do.
Fuck off.
I'm gonna cut you open while you're sleeping.
(GIGGLING) Plonky's just so happy to live with Phil and Mike.
Just so stoked! Plonky loves Phil and Mike and all their tête-à -têtes.
Just so cool, so funny! Are you seeing Plonky? - I see Plonky.
- You do? The mutual hallucination brought on by our BOTH: self-imposed captivity.
- Yeah, yeah, of course, I see Plonky.
- Don't overthink it, dudes.
Uh, look at my big butt! Ooh-ooh-woo! - (MIKE CHUCKLES) - Why would we imagine that little butt? He's got a tiny little butt.
It's so cute.
Plonky used to dance for money! So, if Plonky's in our imagination, that means we can turn Plonky into anything we want.
But Plonky loves being Plonky, though.
Shut the fuck up, Plonky! You know what? I'm just gonna give it a whirl.
Uh, can of soda! Aah, fuck you! - MIKE: Holy shit! It worked! - Are you kidding me? - Well, it's ginger ale, but you know.
- You go! How 'bout a baseball signed by Benny Agbayani? - PHIL: Batter up! - MIKE: Yo! It worked! - Sick.
Benny's my boy.
- Okay.
Let me go.
Balloons.
(FLATLY) Cool.
This game sucks.
I don't wanna play anymore.
Yeah, totally.
It's so annoying.
Laura? (GASPS) Hi! - MIKE: Uh - PHIL: Mike, who's this? Laura, the one who got away.
Your ex-fiancée? - That's her.
- Are you kidding? I was your hostess at the Cheesecake Factory.
After you called the ambulance when I fainted, you said, "I will be here for you.
I will wait for you.
" You dookied in your damn JNCOs, and you said you were gonna come pick them up later.
I don't think so.
Damn, homie.
You dookied your JNCOs? Sister's gonna fall right out, Mikey.
Can I ask you something? Do you like McDonalds? How often do you go there? Well, yeah, sure.
I love McDonalds.
What do you say you and me get a couple of Happy Meals, gobble 'em all up, and then make a stinky little Indian sweat tent with me in my bottom bunk.
What do you think about that? Okay, you're disgusting.
Please stop.
Aah! Boy! You guys have been in here too long.
You clearly have bunker brain.
Mm, we got the bunker brain.
She's right.
We got the bunker brain.
Oh, you know what would be funny? If she turned into my ex-girlfriend.
My ex-girlfriend! Ow.
That's, uh What did I expect? So, did you never have a girlfriend? Is that is that what that means? Nary a one.
Uh, turn into my future girlfriend.
Gotta get one eventually.
Go! Philly, where you been all night? I already told you, honey, I've been working all night.
All right? Get off my back.
WOMAN MIKE: The thing is, I called the office, and they said you left hours ago.
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) PHIL: Do you hear that? It's our song! WOMAN MIKE: Philly, that's our song, Philly.
(PHIL HUMMING TO MUSIC) PHIL: I love my woman This is right, Philly.
(SMOOCHES) Get in here! You know you want to! Yabba-dabba-do! Yeah! I got two Mikes.
(FARTS) PLONKY: Sometimes, they just go crazy without you.
My job is done! Please enjoy this rerun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, on HBO.
- Whoop! - (POPS) (STATIC CRACKLES) YUMI: They called us Grabbags.
I guess 'cause we're a mixture of species: hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, and I, the last ferret.
But that's not all they called us.
They said vile things, awful things, I won't repeat here or ever again.
We found ourselves in the Forgotten Area, the devastated epicenter of the Green Day explosion.
This is where we found the orb.
I became the leader of the Grabbags.
I don't know why.
Maybe because I have the strongest connection to the orb.
Maybe because, I'm, like fuckin' kickass at karate.
(SCREECHING) (YUMI SHOUTS) (YUMI GRUNTING) Hi.
I'm Yumi.
YUMI: But alas, despite being unable to communicate with one another, Grabbagville was born.
(ORB THRUMMING) - (CHITTERING) - (SQUEAKING) (FEEDBACK WHINES) What is this thing? (AUDIENCE MURMURING) Holy shit! When you talk into it, we can understand you! Holy shit! Chompy! That's what you sound like, huh? (CHUCKLES) Yeah! Wait.
What? Through this object, we can understand each other! - All hail the orb! - (CHEERING) I just heard a ferret talk for the first time because of that big dang talk-box thingy right there.
If I had pearls, I'd be clutching 'em right now.
Yep.
My hand is there at my chest.
- Michael? - Yes, Philerp.
I think we gots to steal that talk-box thingy.
Um, okay.
- I just - Yeah? What is it? See you had said that we were gonna steal the disco ball first.
No! No, Michael, listen.
- I just want the disco ball.
- Hey! Hey! Focus up! We can steal the disco ball, and the talk-box.
I'll steal anything you want, honestly, that's what we do.
- That's our thing.
- That's our thing.
We steal stuff.
I think, maybe we should just go home, we get high, and we come up with a game plan.
That sounds so nice.
Go home, just smoke a big ol' fat J.
Smoke a big ol', fat ol' doink, - and we watch The Nut Job 2.
- That sounds good.
DOGS: Cheese! All right, let's do a silly one! DAWN: I'm sorry, this is just so crazy that you can understand me, and I can understand you! - Can you believe it? - It's so sick! - Yeah.
- It's so fucking sick! You're kind and intelligent.
And and you're such an amazing artist.
Thanks.
I've actually been the one - tagging our symbol all over the city.
- YUMI: Oh.
I've sort of been getting my graf' game on.
Your painting's so vivid.
- So lucid.
- Lucid? Do ferrets have the word "floobahgahnoosh"? - Uh, no.
- Okay.
There goes floobahgahnoosh.
It feels so good to finally be able to talk to you, Dawn.
What do you wanna talk and converse about? - Uh - Sex? I've never had it! There! I said it! Oh, that feels good.
You know what? How 'bout we just go home and rest up? I'm sure the Unburdening Ceremony tomorrow is gonna be a long one.
Yeah, okay, sounds good.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) (MUSIC ECHOING) PHIL: All right, so here's the deal.
We want to steal the Grabbags' floating disco ball thingy and add it to our collection of stolen stuff.
- Right? - (STRAINED) Right.
What I'm proposing is (EXHALES) Proposing? To me? (COUGHS) Yes! I gotta call my dad! - Oh my God! - No, Mike! I didn't mean proposing like nuptials.
I meant proposing like throwing an idea out there, okay? Okay, so you don't want to get married? - Is that what you're saying? - Goodness gracious, Michael! Eventually, I would like to get married, sure, but let's just, like, focus on stealing shit right now, okay? I'm gonna pull this down to mask my tears, but I am listening, please continue.
- All right, so here's my game plan.
- Go ahead.
Tomorrow night, we steal the Grabbags' talk-box thingy, we bring it down to the sewer, and we use it to rally all the reptiles.
After that, we drill up into Grabbagville, and then, we're able to steal the orb! How's that sound, Mike? Mike? (GASPS) - Michael! Wake up! - (MIKE GROANS) Oh, you held it in too long.
- I'm fine, dude.
- You have to breathe! - I just, um - You're floating.
I just spoke to God.
She did not like me.
- Oh, no.
- That was a horrific experience.
Listen, if you're gonna float, I'm gonna float, too.
- Just give me a second.
- (BURBLING) YUMI: Welcome, Grabbags.
As you know, our unburdening ceremonies are for the liberation of the soul.
Now, I know it might be a little awkward now, since we can understand each other, but if anyone's brave enough (GRUNTS) Chompy! Where are my Chomp-heads at? - (CHEERING) - Somebody chomp me! - (CHEERING STOPS) - (FEEDBACK WHINES) - (DISTANT COUGH) - The fuck?! Come on! It's play off of The Mask.
Uh, Chompy, you know, these ceremonies aren't for grievances, but more of a personal reflection.
Oh, really? Then why is Dawn complaining about you constantly clogging the shower - with all your ferret hair then? - What?! - Gimme that! - (CHOMPY SCREAMS) It was more like a personal anecdotal stand-up bit, you know, like Jim Gaffigan.
(CHUCKLES) He's still a good guy, right? Where Where are my Gaffigan-heads at? Hot Pockets! (HOWLS) Ooh, it's the thrill of the drama! I love drama.
Chompy, chomp-chomp! Chompy, enough! All you do is start trouble! It's 'cause Dawn is a guinea pig and I am a ferret! You know I'm the only kind of my species! But, Yumi, I've been trying to tell you something for a while now.
You ain't the last ferret! There's a whole tribe of 'em in South Squirrel Square! - (CROWD MURMURING) - Chompy! Oh my God.
Everybody go home! The unburdening ceremony is canceled for the rest of the day! (HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) Adventurin' horse.
Adventurin', doing tricks for money! Oh, are there really more ferrets out there? (DAWN SQUEAKING) Dawn! (SQUEAKS) (YUMI SIGHS) From what I'm gathering through body language, - it seems like you like it.
- (YUMI CHITTERING) (CHUCKLES) Get in here, you big furry worm.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO) Oh, what is that? (CHITTERING) YUMI: Is that supposed to be me? DAWN: I don't think all ferrets look the same.
That's not cool, Yumi! You know what? We're gonna have this out.
We're going to the communicator right now.
YUMI: Come with me! (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, Mike? You know, Mike, we said we were gonna go steal the talk-box thingy at 8:00 p.
m.
, and it's 7:55.
I mean, we don't know what traffic's gonna be like.
Give me a second! I just I just need to put on the dang eyelash to my right eye, - and that's gonna be it, okay? - Hold on a second, Mike.
Why are you dressed like a geisha? Because you're dressed like a ninja, so I'm on theme.
We're not going to a Halloween party, Mike! But we're a couple, so we have to complement each other.
- That's the whole thing! - No, no, no, Mike! We're going on a smash-and-grab, okay? That means we need to be stealthy.
- I can move perfectly fine in this.
- (SHOES CLACKING) You're wearing wooden little sandals! I love my wooden blocks that I'm wearing on my little feet! (SIGHS) I can't get angry at those petite feet.
They are too cute.
Stick out your tongue right now.
Ah Damn chinchillas smell like milk and it drives me crazy! And the gerbils are cheap and lazy.
Chompy for high priestess! Chompy! What the hell's going on over here? - Saved the Day is not just an emo band.
- Stand back, you guys.
All right, all right! That is it! This object is officially off-limits to everyone.
Report back to your homes immediately.
- (CLACKING) - (PHIL SHUSHING) Is there any way you can keep those down a little bit? I'm sorry, it's just it comes with the territory of the geisha.
PHIL (WHISPERING): Fine, fine, fine! Do you know if it's blue wire to red wire? - Just twist 'em up.
- (ENGINE STARTS) Oh! Oh my God! Can I just say something? These Grabbags, they're good at making shit.
I mean, their progress is incredible.
The last one ran on grapes.
MIKE: Shit! Oh, shit.
Who is that? I think that's Dawn.
She's dating, uh, Yumi.
The high priestess of the Grabbags? See you've been picking up on the ins and outs of the Grabbaggers.
Dawn is dating Yumi, and Bruce just cheated on Alex - with Terrence.
- No! (THRUMMING) YUMI: Oh, great, grand orb.
This gift that you bestowed, it's not bringing us together.
It's tearing Grabbagville apart.
But it doesn't have to! - (GASPS) Chompy.
- You know, Yumi, the ability to communicate to every species, that's a hot commodity! And with the twist of a word or two here and there - Bam! - (GASPS) Suddenly, instead of the rats asking the horses for ten pounds of grain, they said, "Hey, horse, fuck you!" And then the rats are battling the horses, and the cats are battling the dogs, and Chompy's chomping all the chomp-chomps, baby! We are not starting an animals war, Chompy.
(GROANS) You're the boss, Yumi.
- Chomp you later.
- (YUMI GROANS) (THRUMMING) I think I'm just jealous because I wanted to dress up like a geisha.
He looks so pretty.
That's my problem is that I always go practical.
(SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) (PHIL GROANS) Oh, this rearview camera is so cool.
Oh my God! Phil! Are you okay? What happened? I got injured.
- Oh, no.
- I'm a nin-jure.
- (MIKE CHUCKLES) - I'm nin-jured.
Let me go ahead and get you home.
Whoa, come on, help me load the talk-box thingy into the car.
Oh, yeah, that's what we're here for.
We did it! Nice, good work.
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
You wanna jerk me off on the ride home? - MIKE: Yeah! - (TIRES SQUEAL) Right, okay.
Stop.
Honk the horn.
(HORN PLAYS "DIXIE") - (MIKE BURPS) - Excuse me! Cold-blooded brethren of the underground! Hi! (CHUCKLES) Uh, my name's Phil, - and this is my partner, Mike.
- That's me.
Us reptiles have been confined to these sewers for three long years using gosh-darn heat lamps to mimic sunlight, which sure, heat lamps are the shit.
Whoo! Heat lamps! (LAUGHS) But we believe that it's time that all of us freaky-ass, green-skinned, ugly motherfuckers unify and reclaim the above land from all those warm-blooded, fur-covered, nasty-ass animals up there! Heat lamps! God! What are you doing? What are you doing? - I love the heat.
I thought - It's okay.
It's fine.
(GROWLING, HISSING) We need your help.
We need your strength.
We're proposing that we drill directly above us, and take over the weakest link of the "warmbloodeds": - the Grabbags.
- MIKE: Ew, they nasty! Whatever.
They've got this all-powerful floating disco ball that Mike and I wanna put in our living room.
It's gonna tie the room together so nicely.
Whoo! Yes! Tomorrow (IN DEEP, GRAVELLY VOICE): we take over the above-land.
Yeah! Heat lamps! (GIGGLES) Fuckin' heat lamps! (CHITTERING, SQUEAKING) YUMI: What What's going on? (GASPS) The talk-box thingy's missing! Oh my God.
Somebody took it.
(ORB THRUMMING) Chompy! Chompy, you did this, didn't you? (SQUEAKS) You stole it! Where is it? Give it to me! Yumi, you're being crazy.
Please calm down.
Give it back! Son of a bitch! (GASPS) Oh, shit.
We're allowed to do that? (WHISPERS): What have I done? Grabbag riot! (PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) I've lost control of myself.
I've lost control of my people, but are these even my people? (PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) I'm gonna go to Squirrel Square and find my family.
I'm sorry! Especially Dawn.
(CRIES) Goodbye.
(GRUNTING) Does anyone know what she said? Okay, I'll see you later, honey.
(PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) (BIRDS TWITTERING) Oh! Hey, check it out.
A new ferret! Yumi? Is that Is that you, Yumi? Dad? (PUNK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUING) (GROWLING, GRUNTING) You know what? Listen.
Can I say something? This fuckin' orb is weird, right? What's the deal with this thing? I mean, why in the heck are we praying to a big, floating marble? Hey, Chompy ain't scared of you, marble.
You dumb fuck-boy! (LOUD RUMBLING) Oh, shit.
Hey, I was just playing with you, orb.
Chompy's cool.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) - Attention, Grabbags! - Hello! Hi, everybody.
I I feel like I don't have that much of a commanding voice.
I was gonna say, they don't look scared.
You want Jeremy to do it? - Hey, Jeremy! - (RIBBITS) Can you come up here? Yeah, come on up.
- Come here! - (RIBBITS) We're not gonna hurt you.
Uh, here we go.
Yeah.
(CROAKING): Hello, Grabbags.
I am Phil.
This is my boyfriend, Mike.
Today, you die.
Okay, Chomp-heads.
Let's fucking do this! (GRUNTING) No, no, please (LAUGHING) Gee whiz.
Wait, Yumi.
Let me get this straight.
You lived with Grabbags this whole time.
Now, aren't they all, pardon my French, un tas de retard? What?! No! They're actually quite resourceful and clever.
We all live together rather harmoniously.
What? Interspecies? No, Yumi, it It just ain't right.
Like us ferrets and these squirrels.
We hate their guts 'cause they're different and and suck.
- BOTH: Ferrets rule! - (GUNSHOT ECHOES) (GASPS) Oh my God! You almost hit him.
Hey, is it true that guinea pigs only eat shit, like their own shit? You know, Terrence told me that, Terrence don't lie.
What?! No! It is not true, not at all.
I was actually dating a guinea pig, Dawn.
She is a beautiful artist, and - I don't like that! - Makes me sick! No, no, no.
Yumi, we don't date at all in Ferretville.
- What? - No boyfriends, no girlfriends, nothing of the sort.
Because this is all we need.
- (GASPS) - Oh, not much of a gun nut, huh? Well, let me explain in song.
Terrence, let's kick up some dust.
Well, I don't like the hims And I don't like the hons I don't like 'em old And I don't like 'em young There is this one thing I find mighty fun I love fucking my, I love fucking my I love fucking my gun - Yeah, sweet pea! - Get 'em! Woo! I tried watchin' porno and I tried it in the bum Shit, I thought, I might never cum Till I found my only one - I love fuckin' my gun - (WHOOPING) My gun's my girlfriend My gun's my god, my gun's my daughter And my gun's my mom We call our orgies a firing squad 'Cause we love fucking our guns - FERRET: Oh, do me! - Woo! FERRET: I'm a redneck! - (GUNFIRE) - FERRET: Yeah! - FERRET: Pump it out! - (MUSIC CONTINUES) - FERRET: Here we go! - (GUNS COCK) - (GUNFIRE) - (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (WHOOPING) - (GUNSHOT) (SLOW BALLAD) We don't want a war And we don't want a battle 'Cause it ain't immoral To fuck a barrel Yes, gun nuts will go nuts for the Second Amendment 'Cause that is on which our sex lives Are dependent (UP-TEMPO) 'Cause we love fuckin' our guns! FERRETS: Great job.
- That was really good.
- YUMI: Excuse me.
These ferrets are just like any of the other animal sectors: ignorant, scared, confused.
They don't open themselves to other species.
But the Grabbags all chose to be together.
Oh God, I abandoned the Grabbags.
I abandoned my family.
I must return.
- (TOILET FLUSHES) - (YUMI GASPS) What the fuck? This is the girls' room! Yumi, I'm a talking receipt, created by the orb.
You gotta chill with that binary stuff.
Listen, you need to return to Grabbagville right now! - They're in great danger! - Okay.
Well, I was actually just about to head out.
I don't know if my speech made that clear or not.
Okay, right, right, hey! Just making sure.
So, guys, you know what? This isn't actually working for me.
So, I'm gonna take off, and, you know, take care.
Oh, Yumi, you're not going so soon, are you? The second act is all about primate change.
I mean "cli-mate" change.
(KISS) Man, these Grabbags are actually scary.
We need to take one of these hostages, and I'm sorry to say, but I need you to scalp 'em or something.
Oh, that's no problem.
I can do that.
I'll take care of that.
I'll do the scalping, everybody.
Uh, that guinea pig.
(GRUNTING) Did you see that motherfucker sucker punch me? I'm gonna rip his fucking head off.
Hey, that's Dawn! Oh my God! This is perfect! Alexander, can you grab us Dawn, please? Alexander, you better go ahead and get those little feetsies moving to get Dawn! Go! You know, don't bring up feet with Alexander.
- He's a snake.
- I said it, and as soon as - the words left my mouth - I know.
We had Secret Santa one year, and I got him shoes.
- Oh my God! - But I didn't know it was him! I didn't yeah.
It was like a grab bag sorta (VOICES OVERLAPPING) It was a grab bag Secret Santa.
It was awkward.
He thought they were hats, Mike.
- MIKE: No! - PHIL: He tied it like a bonnet.
Oh, Alexander.
Hi, Dawn! Get off me, snake.
No! This feels weird.
This feels weird! - Mike.
- Philip.
Unsheathe your sexy-ass knife.
Oh, this little thing? (MANIACAL LAUGHTER) BOTH: Yeah! Hey, listen, I don't have no problem with reptiles.
I mean, what is with your skin? Why is it like that? Let the guinea pig go.
Oh, shit! - It's Yumi! - (FARTS) - Hey, Yumi.
- Hey, Yumi! We're just here fucking your whole shit up! Holy shit.
Is she doing a flying kick - right into our Ow! - Whoa! Yumi! It's not what it looks like.
We was just gonna skin all the Grabbags alive and take your Ow! We were just gonna drown the young ones! Ow! (BOTH GRUNTING) Yumi, don't use my face as a punching bag.
(SCREAMING) You can't deny that that's a good visual gag.
It really is.
Dawn! Dawn! (MOANING) - I'm so sorry I left you.
- I'm so grateful you came back.
(VOICES OVERLAPPING) - Let's go! We have to fight! - Let's go win this.
Chompy.
I know you might not be able to understand me, but I am sorry for accusing you.
Let's work together.
Gimme some skin! Chompy! (HISSES) Yumi, I'm sorry! We was being ignorant.
I don't want to lose you a second time.
I'm your father, and I need to be in your life.
And if that means making friendly with these Grabbags, well, then, so be it.
Come here, you little booger.
Come here.
(KISSING) Father! That is a reptile! They're the bad guys! They're gonna kill us all! Oh! Okay, then! - (GRUNTING) - Get 'em, boys! Say what? No! Guns are for the bedroom.
(GRUNTING) Fuck! (HISSING) (PHIL GROANS) (GROANS) Well, looks like we done lost, Mike.
We did, but, goddamn, it was a valiant effort.
What do you say we spark this doobie and go down with the ship? - That sounds great.
- (INHALES) Ah! PHIL: Oh, hey, Dawn's coming over to say something to us.
Hey, Dawn, how's it going? - I'm sorry about before - Hiyah! Dawn, you broke his fucking no Ow! I should've seen that coming.
Can you give me some paper towels, please? Hold on a second.
(SNIFFS) You smell smoke? MIKE: Oh, shit, the tent's on fire! Everybody, run! Everybody, run, go! The tent's on fire! - (PANICKED CHITTERING) - CHOMPY: Chompy! Run! Run! I'm so fucking high.
(CRYING) Goodbye.
DAWN: Grabbagville was a beautiful idea, but as with all beautiful things, the world doesn't understand it.
Goodbye, Grabbagville.
(SADLY) Chompy.
Smoke's coming from your ears Hi.
Hello.
Listen, about before, it was a whole thing, we're sorry about it.
- I only have one question.
- You go first? What did you want with our orb? I mean, really, it was it was to tie the room together.
Excuse me, what? To tie the room together, like a centerpiece for our living room.
It was actually an anniversary gift I was getting for Mike.
(CHUCKLES) He got me tickets to Disney.
- I did.
- You know, Disney, the sex club? It's a sex club called Disney.
Yumi's about to lose her shit.
(SHOUTS) Yumi is about to lose her shit! You wanted an omnipotent floating orb to simply use as decoration.
Cut the crap! What do you say, Yumi? A gecko stew or maybe a jerky? (GULPS) Untie them and send them on their way.
- What?! - You heard me.
Let's bite their fucking heads off! Chompy's looking to chomp-chomp, baby! Yeah, Yumi, one of the little green dudes was about to chop my head off, - if you remember correctly.
- No, no, no! No, you got it all wrong! I wouldn't have done it really.
I wouldn't have! I just like the threat of violence.
- It's just a threat.
- (GRUNTS) Grabbags of Grabbagville, reptiles of the underworld, don't you see? We're the same.
Perhaps our blood is warm, and we have fur instead of scales, but we are diverse species united.
That Yumi.
Fuck me! She's so good at this crap.
YUMI: The orb is a symbol of inclusion.
We will no longer shroud it under our ceremonial tent.
It is not ours to keep.
The orb belongs to all animals, as does this tool: The Grand Communicator.
Reptiles, join us in rebuilding.
That sounds like a plan! What do you say, reptiles? MIKE: Yes! We're getting married! (CHEERING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) YUMI: There it is, the future.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) BOTH: Grand Communicator Communications, please hold.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (PHONES RINGING) Oh, boy.
Can you not draw a circle? - Okay.
Okay, got it.
- There shouldn't be a point.
We need to float some pre-release models to the social media influencers and early adopters in tech.
Those fucking freaks.
And then offer up the pre-sale code in conjunction with the Spotify promo! - Come on, guys, wake up.
- Chompy, please! We need to run a ballsy outdoor campaign.
You know, turn some heads! What about this? Grand Communicator 3.
0: Fuck Your Mother! - Chompy! - Chompy is a friggin' genius.
Thank you.
I mean, I like the idea, of "ballsy outdoor campaign," but then, after that, nothing else is really usable.
"Fuck your mother!" Come on! Let's move on to the next point, please.
Understand the purpose of making Hello, I'm Yumi.
Founder and CEO of Grand Communicator Communications.
We all remember gathering around the living room and talking into the Grand Communicator 1.
0.
And the constant neck pain that came with the bulky Grand Communicator 2.
0.
But our newest product, Grand Communicator 3.
0, will surely change the world.
It fits snugly right inside your mouth, and now, thanks to us, the Grabbags, any species of any kind can communicate with one another.
No hindrance whatsoever.
- That's right.
We did that.
- We did it! Remember when you were all dicks to us, well now, us Grabbags are fucking rich as shit! You'll still buy it.
You'll buy anything we make, you sheep.
You little, dirty figurative sheep.
GRAND COMMUNICATOR 3.
0: Fuck Your Mother! Chompy.
Well, I tried watchin' porno and I tried it in the bum Shit, I thought I might never cum Till I found my only one I love fuckin' my gun My gun's my girlfriend, my gun's my god My gun's my daughter