Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Video Ouija

You know, we have time.
You really need us to go to warp speed? Yes, I want everyone to know I'm fast and I will tear ass all over their galaxy and totally trench their galaxy! All right, wh-whatever you say.
Boy, we are Oh, no, he did not do that! What? What's That dude back there just flipped me off! Really, you saw that? Did he see you? Oh, yes, sir.
Stop this ship! OK.
You know what always happens, though.
- Oh! - Ow! My name is Shake-zula The mike ruler The old schooler You want to trip? I'll bring it to ya Frylock and I'm on top Rock you like a cop Meatwad, you're up next With your knock-knock Meatwad make the money, see? Meatwad get the honeys, G.
Driving in my car Living like a star Ice on my fingers and my toes And I'm a Taurus Uh, check-check it, yeah 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homeys say ho And the girlies want to scream 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homeys say ho And the girlies want to scream Aqua Teen Hunger Force Number one in the hood, G.
Welcome to Video Ouija.
Spirits from this house come out and play with me! What do you think, you're running the Matrix? You're gonna break that thing.
Shh! You're disturbing the presence.
Look, Shake, he needs complete silence so he can talk to the dead.
Yeah? Well, he needs a lack of oxygen so he can become the dead.
Has an intruder entered the Ouija realm? - All right, scoot over.
- Shake, don't! - I control this now.
- Don't do that! No, no! You ain't supposed to touch it! You're just supposed to let your hand rest on it.
I've got a smart bomb locked onto this guy.
Gonna blow him up! Frylock, he's touching it.
All right, all right! You don't have to tell, little baby! This is a piece of crap anyhow.
In fact, I may destroy it.
OK, Meatwad, time to put it up.
It's getting late.
Come on, just one more dead person, please? Just one more dead guy.
All right, one more.
Spirits that haunt this house tell me what was we talking about? My sister's baby.
Oh! Yeah, yeah.
One of them other dead boys told me about that.
How's she doing? She's dead.
We're all dead.
Well, at least it had all its fingers and toes you know what I mean? Hey, Frylock! Come back here quick! Check it out! I'm screwing up his little game.
Ha ha ha! Aagh! What are you doing?! Wait! Stop! Shake! What do you think I'm doing?! I'm gonna get in that little game of his and then I'm gonna so hose him Ha ha ha! Till his heart stops! Ha ha ha! See? And then and then I'm the winner.
Well, you're not gonna do it this way.
You always take his side! I would say "Don't ever talk to me again" but I'm not talking to you so there's no point in saying it because you're not even here.
- Good night, Shake.
- Good night.
Hey, Carl.
Can I show you something real quick? It, uh, it starts here where I used to have a full tank of gas.
- Uh-huh.
- And, uh Hey, what's bubbling in the pool? Oh, my God! What are those, piranhas? Well, yeah.
I mean, Shake's in there, too.
You can't see him 'cause he's in the piranhas, but What?! Shake! No, no, no, no! Fryman, back off! Them fish are still alive.
They're just sort of, you know, tired from all them sleeping pills Shake swallowed.
Hey, did he want to kill himself? Oh, my God Is this a note? Friends, relations whatever the hell Meatwad is I've lived a full life.
It's actually been pretty bitchin'.
But now, regrettably my life has been taken.
Please bury me with all my stuff because you know it's mine.
Dearest Meatwad, turn on that dumb game 'cause I'm gonna whale on you from the grave, baby! Please stop! Stop it! Suck it up, mutha! Ha ha ha! No, don't! Don't! Missing you already, M.
Fryman, I am so sorry that I can't press charges here.
Yeah, me, too.
You know, I can't help but notice that you're trying to leave right now.
Any chance you were gonna clean the Shake stew out of my pool? No.
Watch your back.
Hey, man, you stole my wristwatch.
You dumb! I already have a wristwatch.
You dumb.
Burned! Yeah! Burned! I saw you looking at it.
Yo mama, you did! Classic comeback! Yo mama! Yo mama! - Incineration! - All right! You're the Insult Master! So, where's Video Ouija? I'm done with that game.
I talked to that ghost about his sister's baby for like 3 hours.
Well, maybe there's someone else in there.
Yeah, his sister's baby.
All you get in there is, "Wah, wah, wah!" For the ghost baby's cranky.
Well, you never know.
Let's give it another shot, OK? Oh, I don't think you heard me.
I said no.
Burned! I'm the Insult Master! Meatwad, Master Shake is dead.
That's cool.
Shake? Shake, are you in there? Why isn't he playing?! Get his ass out of bed and get him on this thing.
I hate to tell you this, Shake but he's kind of gotten tired of Video Ouija.
No! I went to great lengths to do this! You get the hell over there and force Hold on.
Shut up! Go find a nipple! Shake, will you stop? You're just riling him up.
- He's being a baby.
- He is a baby.
And he still won't stop! Frylock, get me out of here.
This place sucks ass! Well well, Shake, I mean, I What? What?! I can't just bring you back to life.
I mean Come on, you can do it.
You know you're like a math guy! I don't think that math is gonna bring you back from the dead.
Well, what the hell is Oh, excuse me.
Shut up! Hell, I don't know.
Well, you better find out 'cause without me, you're lost, buddy! I'm not good with kids! So how is this pronounced? Billy.
Have you ever worked with anything any larger than a chicken? Billywitchdoctor.
com work mostly in chicken.
Well, could Billywitchdoctor.
com maybe raise something else from the dead bigger than a chicken? Mega-ultra-chicken? No! Shh! He is legend.
Well, no, I mean, I was thinking more like a human milk shake or something like that.
com feel more comfortable with chicken.
Just chickens, huh? OK, and you're local.
One convenient locations in Africa.
OK, well, we'll be in touch.
I think we've found our man, Frylock.
'Cause look at this here.
He done pulled this out of my ear! Look at th He did it again! Oh, hell! Hey, hey, hey, Billy! Hey, Billy, wait! I want that boy for my birthday party.
So why am I here? Well, Billywitchdoctor.
com needs a minimum of four people to create a séance ring so he can bring Shake back from the dead.
We're what? We're bringing him back? Whoa, whoa! Is that what we're doing here? Uh-uh! My ass we is! I ain't been hit all day.
I kind of like it.
Please, please, all together.
Hold hands.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no.
No, sir.
I don't know what kind of vibe you think you got off me but I don't play that way.
I'm not that way! Carl! I mean, I don't do both sides of the field offense or defense, you know, with the short shorts, no.
Carl, it's just a séance.
It's not that way.
Come on, will you? Now, please, kiss him deep with tongue.
Do what?! Ho ho ho! Just kid.
Just kid, dirty boy.
Touch hands.
You boyfriend and boyfriend! Meatwad! Will you settle down? This is serious! OK.
Please, read from sheets.
I Am I Am Sofa King Sofa King We Todd Ed.
We Todd Ed.
Now repeat all very fast, please.
I Am Sofa King - Faster.
- I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed.
No, no, not so fast.
Loses meaning.
I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed.
Ho ho ho! You say funny thing.
Ha ha! Arise! Uh, Billy, I'm not an expert but don't you need, like, a piece of his body or an article of his clothing or an eyelash? No.
Yes, go get it.
Me intern.
You know what you're doing.
Do you, uh you do birthdays or Get with me after this.
That crazy hat for chicken.
Yeah, uh Hey, Billy, you do remember that we're not doing a chicken? Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Chicken, arise.
Arise, chicken.
Arise, chicken.
Everybody do it.
Arise! OK.
My bad.
Now, wait for fog machine.
Arise, arise! - Arise! - Arise, chicken.
Arise! Arise, chicken.
Arise, chicken.
Oh, wait.
Stick upside down.
Chicken, arise.
Hey, chicken, rise.
- Arise, chicken.
- Arise.
Hey, chicken, rise.
Move over here.
Better reception.
- Arise.
- Arise! - Arise, chicken.
- Arise, chicken.
- Arise.
- Arise.
- Arise.
- Arise.
Chicken Arise, chicken.
So, uh can we stop holding hands in Fairyland here? My hand is gonna permanently smell like a burger.
Hang on, Carl.
Just give me a second.
Uh, Shake, uh, if you can hear me, uh, arise.
And the smell does not come off, Fryman.
Arise! I gotta wait for the skin on this hand to die.
Arise! No! No! No! Huh.
Who the hell's that? I think that's Ultra-mega-chicken.
Well, should I let go of this hand now? Dancing is forbidden D- D-Dancing is forbidden Dancing is forbidden D- D-Dancing is forbidden D- D-Dancing is forbidden