Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Antenna

My name is Shake-Zula The Mike Ruler The Old Schooler You want to trip? I'll bring it to ya.
Frylock and I'm on top rock you like a cop Meatwad, you're up next with your knock-knock.
Meatwad make the money see? Meatwad get the honeys, g driving in my car living like a star ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus.
Uh, check-check it, yeah 'cause we are the Aqua Teens make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream 'cause we are the Aqua Teens make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream ? Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Number One in the hood, g.
Turner Entertainment Group] So, the bum said, "i ate it off the sidewalk with my balls!" Ha ha ha ha.
I kid ya.
I love all people.
Hey, you know what a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal.
No takers over at that table, right, ladies? Ha ha ha.
But seriously, I'd like to bring it down a notch.
? I see your face your rosy, rosy cheeks ? ? And I mean your buns those squishy, mushy buns ? I wasn't always a superstar.
I used to be a boring old cup.
Why would anyone make a show about something you'd throw away? But things changed, my friend.
Money rolled in like waves lapping on the shore.
And if you've got talent, well, they'll find you.
But, listen.
Let me speak to a supervisor.
Because you were very rude to me! I will fly directly to India tonight, and I will see your face in my face! The TV ain't working.
What? Hey! What's your name? What is your name?! Give me your name! Hey, who you talking to? I am about to find out.
Yes, can-- [dial tone] Hung up.
Let's see if he fixed it.
Did he fix the TV? You tell me.
Well Yeah.
Let me tell you about these people.
And they grow these shows in India and they're my favorite shows--and they know that.
And since I've produced them, they won't give them to me for free.
Hey Let's watch the TV, see if you starring in another of them movies.
[clicking] I swear to God! A whole night of TV has been ruined.
Thank you, India! Hey, you remember that one show? Roid-away, apply directly to the roid.
Roid-away, apply directly to the roid.
Apply directly to the roid.
That's a good show.
That was good.
Well, you don't think it got nothing to do with that thing out there, do you? Well No.
It's the Indians and their barbaric ways-- yogurt runs down their faces and boobs flapping around! Hey, you ever hear of a bra?! I've seen one.
Hey, man.
What the hell is this tower doing here? Oh, that? It's pretty sweet, eh? This dude's giving me 40 bucks a month to put it here, and I ain't gotta do jack! Except rake in the jack! Ha ha! You know what I mean? Yeah, Carl.
What's it do? Well, it'll mess with your telephone and your television, too.
Yeah, it definitely does that.
But mine comes in great.
I mean, you gotta check this out, dude.
I got great picture here.
You ever seen this show? No.
I don't think so.
It's insane.
Nothing happens.
But I'm addicted to it.
Is this a show? Yeah, no one gets it but me, you know.
It's exclusive to Carl! Huh.
Ok, so What's it about? Well, you know, it's pretty boring, really.
'Cause whenever I look up, they start pretending to stack stuff.
But, hey, I got all day to do this--now that I got an outside source of income! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Damn, man.
Do your eyes hurt? Last couple days, they have bothered me.
They feel like they're growing or something.
But, hey If you pop some Aspirin, I'm good to go.
Oh, gross.
Nah, don't worry about that.
Ugh! Just tilt your head back.
Just tilt your head back! That's right! Oh! That's what those guys told me to do-- and it worked.
How's it look? Keep going.
It's getting--oh--it's getting clearer.
A little more.
A little more.
It's getting definitely-- it's getting clearer now.
Getting better? Roger.
Keep going.
Getting clearer.
Perfect! Ok, stay right where you are! Do not move! Whoa! Sweet! Great.
Now it's snowy again.
[door opens] Ugh! What's wrong with him? You need to watch what you're doing to him.
Ow! Frylock, you know me.
My love for him is beyond any Rivers.
Look, we gotta do something about that tower.
I'll show you what a man does with it.
[buzzing] Shake, no! Ok, look.
Just let me climb it and see what the deal is.
Just do me one favor and don't destroy it until I get down, ok? Ok.
Oh, my freakin' head.
You need to tilt your head back, Carl! You must keep your blood oh! Further! Further! it's really hurting.
Further, further! Yeah, see, I--if I do it any more-- Tilt your head back further.
I think the blood's coming out of my eyes.
Put spoons over them.
Carl?! What? Someone climbs the tower.
You know what you must do, Beast Man.
Yes, master.
Hey! Get off of the tower! No! Uh.
He won't come down.
Then we shall tell him-- in our own little way! [laughing] Send voice-over artist George Lowe.
Yeah! George Lowe will force him from the tower! What's up, Fry-Lam.
Who are you? Captain Beefy, Georm Loam.
Hail Geebonla Forever.
So, what do you-- God bless you and all you do for television, Frylock.
You know, our children are learning from you.
So you-- you look tasty and heavily salted.
Ok, ok, ok, look-- my ex-girlfriend-- man, look! Can I stop you for a second, ok? Another joke for another time.
So, why are you here? The home office in Grand Rapid sent me down to get you off the tower.
Uh It's affecting the morning show--you being here.
The morning guys can't do their thing--the nutty bunch-- Larry and Eric.
So, wait-- can you get me a regular gig? What? Ha ha ha.
It's a joke, for God's sake.
Ok, let's start this again.
Ok? Who are you? George Lowe.
I've been hired by aliens to tell you to get off the tower.
I am the voice master.
George, I'm not getting off the tower.
That's fine, Aunt Crabby.
I still get paid.
You just stay right where you are.
Seriously! I got 40 large to do this gig.
$40, huh? It's all in their currency, but they say the Yorlok is very strong in the states right now.
And mom agreed.
So, here we all are.
She's like, "you're getting how many Yorloks for this?" I said, "oh, don't you worry, baby.
Enough to crank the generator back up another week or two.
" George-- the Yorlok.
Isn't that that new bag that seals in freshness, the Yorlok? George, please.
Hold on a second.
I want to try and give you some Mason Adams here.
Yorlok George? It keeps your food fresher longer.
Earth to George.
A product of Ching Dowdy Doodoo Industries.
George?! Why you? I was available.
Yeah, Mr.
$30,000 a minute.
No way! Mr.
Big Shot.
In a world You smell that? Where towers rule the universe.
Is that smoke? You're telling me that ain't the same?! Seriously.
That's the same.
George! I smell some folk art burning.
Folk art?! Where?! [grunts] Hey, wait a minute.
Take my demo on cassette.
Oh, hey, better yet, go to the William Morris web site-- New York demos voice talent under Radio Imagining it's at the New York site though, not the Beverly Hills one! [thud] It didn't work! You need to tilt your head back, Carl.
I can't tilt it back any further, dude.
The waves are very dangerous.
But we pay you handsomely.
I know, and I appreciate that.
But, uh I mean, look at that blood in here, man, I gotta run a wet-vac through here or something.
No, you will stay, and you will watch us stack.
What about the tower though? Oh, let him come.
And we will crush him with out mighty fists of rage.
[laughing] What are you two doing? Aagh! Don't touch us! Leave us alone! Aagh! Carl, wake up! No, I'm awake.
I'm up, I'm up.
What?! This isn't a cell tower at all.
This tower goes all the way up to their planet.
They were gonna climb down it and attack us.
[metal clanging] Whoa! What the hell was that?! [whirring] [grunting] $20 for an autograph? You are out of your mind.
Daddy gets 25 for a sketch.
From who? Shoot, boy.
For that much, it ought to come with a hand-job or something.
Oh, it does.
Will you please keep it down while I'm trying to saw?! [cell phone rings] Hello? Shake, don't cut down that antenna.
Give me one good reason-- besides the fact that you asked me nicely before you went up there.
You know, shake, they-- they get every TV show up here.
I mean, even Pay-Per-View.
Stay there.
I'm coming up.
[grunting] All right.
Where's the TV? You are the TV.
Well, where are the shows? You are the show! Let the entertainment happen! Begin! Wait! Where's-- where's--where's Frylock?! Shake, it's a trick! They used me to get to you.
They want to you to entertain them forever.
Yeah, I told them it was a pretty good idea.
So, I helped them.
Well, where the hell you going? Oh I was acting.
You know, like on TV.
That was pretty good acting.
Here are your 40 Yorloks.
Use them wisely.
On George Lowe's autograph.
You can get two for that.
Or a sketch and a hand-job! [lounge music playing] All right, hey! Well, we've been having some fun.
And don't go away 'cause we'll be Right back with the Master Shake Show on every channel.
George? We're global, worldwide, every channel.
George? All the friggin' channels, all the friggin' time.
George? Same little cup yapping away.
George?! Please! Well, I can do that.
It's what I do.
And they got this weasel knocking down 6 figures every Monday.
He's taken over The Internet, you know? I had a 6-figure deal with The Internet.
Now it's gone.
They're holding him hostage, George.
It's different, ok? It's not different when he's a star.
I mean, they took my picture down at the barbecue joint, Frylock, and they put his up.
Hey, Frylock, what's a hand-job? 'Cause I'm about to get one!