Awkward s04e11 Episode Script

Snow Job (2)

Previously on Awkward Next fall, I'd be starting a whole new life.
I have this great photo of you.
Nothing happened that night, and you know it.
Is there a reason why you haven't sent me my essay? Matty, you want your essay so bad, why don't you go and get it yourself? You left something in my bed last night, girlfriend.
Nice try.
The senior ski trip was legendary-- legendary for being less about hitting the slopes than just hitting it.
The only thing I was gonna be hitting was my ass on the snow.
My boyfriend was stuck in his dorm studying, and I could barely ski.
Did I really need to be here to watch a bunch of ski bunnies hump like bunnies? [Clears throat.]
[Giggling.]
Hey, Jenna.
Do you want to sit by us? Fair warning, big ass bus plus windy roads gives me major motion malfunction.
You may see winter chunderland before winter wonderland.
Lovely.
Palos Hill seniors.
We are about to embark on a journey that will rock your world and blow your mind.
[Cheers and applause.]
Especially because I came up with a novel social experiment to tear your walls down, to get real.
Hashtag realness.
To get you ready for college with open minds, open hearts, and open souls.
What about open orifices? [Laughter.]
Now, because colleges assign the roommates randomly, I have decided to override all of your rooming requests and assign your roomies randomly.
[All groan.]
Everyone needs to break out of their cliques.
Cliquishness leads to bullying, and you know how I feel about bullying.
I have zero tolerance.
You keep interrupting me, mouth breather, and I will make your life a living hell.
[Indistinct muttering.]
Scoot over.
Who'd you get? Gloria? Oh, my God, Whoria Gloria, the hookup queen? Housekeeping will need to change her sheets every ten seconds.
Let's not be judgy.
Thank you.
Do you know what it's like being pegged in this school? It's a snake pit.
I was the suicide girl.
I know.
Anyway, I'll hardly ever be in the room.
Cold weather makes me horny as fuck.
[Scoffs.]
Look at that desperate deviant.
How can she even look you in the eye after leaving her skivvies in your sheets? Wow.
Look at you, museum of tolerant.
Well, people do desperate things when they're in love.
Oh, please.
Says the girl who stayed up for 96 hours catfishing her boyfriend with a bad Australian accent.
Judgy-wudgy was a bore.
Eva's his problem now.
Cute that you think that, but I'd keep my eyes open.
She's really threatened by you.
Well, I'm not threatened by her.
Ugh.
Jake is all over Lissa, which is just horny desperate, the Hail Mary pass at the vestal virgin.
And that's Jake's problem.
Why are we spending so much time worrying about other people's problems when we can focus on our senior ski trip? Okay, this whole reasonable thing you're doing? So boring.
Matty, can you get rid of the barnacle for a second so we can talk skiing? Sadie.
It's fine, Matty; she needs some time with you.
I understand.
Okay, let's talk black diamonds.
Sadie, Eva and I are on this trip as a couple, and she's starting to pick up on your hostility.
Oh, good.
And, to be honest, she's worried about you.
That you-- you might have feelings for me.
Okay, you can't be serious.
She told me about your conversation.
What conversation? I don't talk to that freak.
Our kiss.
How hurt you were that I didn't think it meant anything.
But I just want you to know how much I love you, okay? As friends.
It's better that we lay all our cards out on the table and communicate our feelings.
You are so right, Matty.
And now I'm going to communicate mine.
[Screaming.]
No, no, no! No violence! No violence.
Zero tolerance.
Eva started it.
She's right.
I don't know what I did, but I'm sure I deserve it.
[Shushing.]
No, no, no, sweetheart.
You mustn't blame yourself.
Everyone, this is a teachable moment.
The victim, the abusee, is blaming herself for the abuser's hatred and violence.
Well, guess what? Not on my watch.
I've decided to carpe all over this diem.
This is our one and only senior ski trip.
If that means I take a walk on the slutty side, I'm in.
You know, your hair looks great lately.
It really-- it shines.
Thanks.
I've been using argan oil.
It gives me volume too.
I am not spending this ski trip solo.
Not everyone's gonna be hooking up, T.
We can ski together.
The only slopes that need riding are mine.
Hey.
You guys super psyched for our senior ski trip? This air is oppressive.
So clean.
How are we supposed to breathe air without toxins in it? Dude, check out Groper.
Major meat in these woods.
Time to go hunting.
- Hungry! - Hungry! So you want to hit the slopes with your pops? I can shred.
You know what would make this senior ski trip super great? If I could pretend my parents weren't on it with me.
Honey, you're going to college in less than nine months.
We don't have that much time left together.
Just ski with us.
- No? - No.
- Please.
- No.
Don't worry, Ty Ty, it won't hurt you.
It's just like rain, only cold.
I have skied in Switzerland, dear sister.
Gstaad is epic.
Tyler is so full of surprises.
I didn't even know he had a word for snow.
Hey, Tamara.
Want to go for a run.
I am so up to go down.
Down the mountain, I mean, right now.
Cool.
Jenna? I'm still psyching myself up.
Go ahead.
Jenna.
You remember your father saying he would teach me to ski, right? You remember me saying I'd put her in ski school.
You are an old man.
You cannot keep up with Matty and Jake.
Fine, let's get on the chair.
Oh, God, the chair? No, I'm not getting on that thing.
Well, as far as I know, that's the only way up the mountain.
Hey, you.
I need you in the singles line.
The singles line.
Skiing equivalent of being the loser no one wanted to sit with in the cafeteria.
J! You look like a sadsy over there all by yourself.
You want to go on a run with Biggie and me? No, thanks.
I'm waiting for someone.
It's not freshies, but any snow is good snow, right? Welcome to my mountain, and be safe.
Whoa, hey, freshie.
No bear paws in my honey pot.
[Growls.]
Oh, hey, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
You want to come shred with your folks? No, thanks.
I'm-- I'm good.
Come on, cupcake.
Kevin.
Kev-- Hel-- help me.
My snow adventure was already a meltdown.
I really needed some TLC.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
_ Hey, beautiful.
It was like magic.
He was like magic.
Suddenly, I had my mountain high.
Oh! - That's it.
- Oh, my God.
- That's it.
- Oh, my God.
You got it.
Yes.
You're skiing.
This is it.
[Screams.]
You know, for a beginner, you're really a beginner.
Well, luckily there is lots of time before the next Winter Olympics.
Hey.
Oh, you guys made it down faster, but we all end up in the same place.
Jenna, we've been down four times.
[Screams.]
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Okay? - Yeah.
Oops.
Matty and I had been weird around each other since the essay misunderstanding, so maybe it was time to be on more solid ground, even if we were hanging by a cable Eva and Luke certainly seem to be hitting it off.
She can talk to anyone.
She always has so much to talk about.
What does that mean? I didn't mean it to come out that way.
Or did I? There was definitely some weirdness with Eva, but it wasn't gonna do me any good to get into it with Matty.
I didn't mean anything.
She's just interesting.
Jenna, do you have a problem with Eva? She's a lying slunt, and that's where she lives.
I didn't know I was driving you to a catfight.
I would have charged more.
You're charging me? That's rude.
Just gas.
Maybe a neck rub.
You stress me, Sadita.
You're so uptight all the time, it's contagious.
There won't be a catfight, because that ratchet whore is on the ski trip.
Then what are we doing here? I just need some intel.
And stay in the truck.
What, you don't want to be seen with me? This isn't a good neighborhood for you.
Jenna, she already told me all of this, but she said that you showed up at school and accused us of having sex in your bed.
That's not what happened.
I just told you I would never think that.
That's what she wanted me to believe.
That's a little hard to believe.
Yeah, well, it's hard to believe that I'd find her panties in my bed too.
Yeah, it is.
Look, I don't know what this is all about, or what your problem is with her, but I-I really like her.
So could you do me a favor and just back off? Yeah, sure, Matty.
Happy to.
[Screams.]
Bend at the waist.
- Bend at the waist.
- I'm trying.
Graceful like a swan.
[Laughter.]
Look at me, Matty.
Man, Eva sure picked up riding fast for a newbie.
Must have been all that time in Switzerland with the DJ.
No, that guy was afraid of heights.
Sounds like she told you her whole life story.
Hardly, Jenna.
We were only in the chair for 15 minutes.
Yeah, well, she can get a lot out in 15 minutes.
[Doorbell chimes.]
The hose is in the side yard, and you need to pick up the dog poops.
That is rude and racist.
He is not a gardener.
He is a short order cook.
Yeah, and princess over here serves hot dogs to construction workers.
What do you want? I'm a friend of Eva's, Eva Mansfield.
I'm Eva Mansfield.
Thousands and thousands of dollars.
The credit card people are still after me.
Look, they don't even think I'm me.
Have you ever seen such criminal behavior? Lady, my dad's a cop.
Why isn't her name on any of these? She's a juvenile.
Her name's been redacted.
This is my favorite part of skiing.
Me too.
No, no.
The best apres is in Val D'Isere.
No, no, Courchevel.
The best I had was in Lech.
Lech, like where the sea monster is? [Speaking foreign language.]
No, dear sister, in Austria.
As long as it's not on St.
Moritz.
There's too many, how you say, Russians.
[Laughter.]
Well, Snow Valley's pretty awesome for local skiing, though.
As long as there's snow, schnapps, and gorgeous women, I'm happy.
Oui.
Pete, that was so sweet of you to coach me today, but just so you know, my best moves aren't on skis.
You did pretty good for a beginner.
Thanks, but I'm much more agile, you know, when I'm not wearing all those bulky clothes.
Yeah, but you can't really ski naked.
Okay, so do you want to get in the hot tub? Oh, man.
Sad, desperate heteros.
- Oppressive.
- Excuse me.
People relaxing here.
Well, we can't relax, because this broke down winter shithole has busted cell service, which means Groper's gone limp.
Which means we got to get laid the old-fashioned way.
Why don't you guys just go to a gay bar? Why don't you just go to a hetero ghetto? We're in a hetero ghetto.
Can we get out of here, please? The hot tub's calling me.
Oh.
Looks like Jenna and Luke staked out the best spot.
No, there's plenty of room.
Not a good idea.
Plus, I feel like she's staring daggers at me.
Eva, I think you're being a little bit paranoid.
You're right.
- I'll go get hot chocolates.
- Okay.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
Oh, my-- [Gasps.]
I am so sorry.
I didn't see you there.
Why would you do that? You knew I was right there.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, it's just-- it's just-- it's just a little hot.
Can we just go back to the room? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Seriously, can you just stay away? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm-- I'm fine.
Jenna, was it a bad idea that I came here this weekend? What? No, no.
Because if you have stuff to work out with Matty, I have schoolwork that I'm ignoring.
I just-- Can you just-- I need to be alone for a few minutes.
So, what's wrestling like? Sweaty? Do you just, like, pick someone up and throw them down on that mat? No, it's not like that at all.
It's really all about the footwork.
Mm, I love footwork.
You wrestle? This is a sick stew of basic.
Well, no one invited you to join.
That's why we didn't ask.
Ooh, it's so cozy in here.
Hot bubbles are the best thing ever.
WTF, Jake? Can I get some space? There's only one thing that can relieve these repressed losers from their sick sexual tension.
- Key party! - Key party! (In Spanish) She's crazy.
(In Spanish) Thank you, dad.
What did he say? Okay, my dad is doing this off the record as a favor.
He totally bent the rules-- Yes, I know, and I appreciate it, and I will give you and your dad my first-born child.
Now, what did he say? I get your baby? You know what has to happen first, Sadita.
Gross.
What did he say? Her real name is Amber Horn from San Pedro.
Of course she's from Pedro.
Could she be any more textbook lowlife? Okay, road trip.
Tonight's performance of embarrassing ex drama has finally concluded.
- That's good news.
- Mm-hmm.
Who's been in here? Your roommate? No, she's been gone all day.
Well She's messing with me again.
- Who? - Who do you think? Mountains are for adventures, people.
Come on! Guys put their key cards in the bowl.
Why the fuck are you so obsessed with my room? Excuse me? The condoms, Eva.
What, are you trying to make me think that Matty screwed you in my bed again? - What? - Jenna.
What is wrong with you? What condoms? The condoms you left in my room.
Whoopsie.
My bad.
I thought you said you weren't gonna hook up in our room.
I said I'd hardly be in the room.
I didn't make any guarantees.
Okay, let's pick some keys.
You know I didn't drive two hours to watch some psychodrama with your ex-boyfriend.
That's not what it is.
Then what is it? When you figure it out, let me know.
In the meantime, I'm gonna go catch up on the studying I've been blowing off to be here with you.
[Door slams shut.]
That bitch's cover is totally blown.
She doesn't even live in our district.
She is so out of PHHS.
Stay in the truck.
This isn't a good neighborhood for you.
Oh, please.
- Whoo! - [Whistling.]
[Dog barking.]
_ - You love it.
- Duh.
[Knocks on door.]
Hi, I'm a friend of Amber's.
Didn't know Amber had friends.
Oh, I just love her.
Are you her mom? Her gran.
My daughter took off for Vegas years ago.
Come on down.
She's probably in her room.
Amber's downstairs? Probably studying.
She's always studying.
[Flies buzzing.]
[Sighs.]
Jesus H Christ.
[Sinister music.]
That psychotic bitch.
Boys, I know this is random, but it better be Pete.
Maybe we shouldn't have left it all boy-on-girl.
That's so basic.
These people can't handle a paradigm shift.
[Lock beeps.]
[Lock beeps.]
Oh, come on.
This is too much work, even for me.
I'm on vacation.
[Lock beeps.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, my God.
This is a horrible mistake.
God makes no mistakes, Lissa.
Everyone else is busy.
There's no reason we need to be alone.
There's lots to watch on TV.
Way to clear out the trash.
Basic is as basic does.
Now the fun really begins.
Hello, boys.
Glad you could join us.
[Phone beeps.]
[Cell phone buzzing.]
[Water trickling.]
[Buzzing continues.]
Ugh.
Matty, can you hear me? Eva is a compulsive liar.
You have to get away from her.
Matty.
Matty.
My head was clearing, a little.
Why was I letting Eva make me so crazy? Could I separate what I thought about her from what I thought about Matty? It was a tangled web I needed to get away from so that I could focus on what was important and what made me happy Luke.
[Cell phone buzzing.]
Hey.
I'm finally over my altitude-induced dementia.
I am so sorry.
Can I make it up to you? I guess I could be persuaded.
How about a romantic moonlit stroll? Meet you by the bear in five? I'm all yours.
[Cell phone buzzing.]
Hello? Eva Mansfield is a lying psychopath.
As usual, I was absolutely right.
You have to get to Matty.
Her real name is Amber Horn, and until she came to PHHS, she hadn't set foot outside of San Pedro.
What? She was kicked out of the school system when she was nine.
Stabbed a kid in the face with a pencil.
She's been homeschooled, by herself.
Holy shit! You've got to tell Matty.
I called him, and she answered his phone.
You have to find him.
[Dramatic music.]
[Knocks on door.]
Matty, Matty, are you in there? [Knocks on door.]
_ [Phone line trilling.]
Come on, pick up, Matty.
[Trilling continues.]
[Cell phone beeps.]
[Lock beeps.]
Matty.
I have to talk-- _ _ Luke.
Luke, I am so sorry.
It was a miserable night.
I couldn't even cry myself to sleep.
I was mad at mad at myself, mad at Matty, mad at Eva, but most of all, heartbroken about Luke.
I had to find a way to fix things between us.
[Phone line trilling.]
Hey, it's me.
Leave a message.
[Water trickling.]
[Creaking sound.]
Luke? [Door latch opens.]
Luke, is that you? [Creaking sound.]
Gloria? [Screams.]
Stop screaming and hide your nasty junk yard, Hamiltrash.
We've got work to do.
Awkward - 4x11 "Snow Jobs (Part 2)" So, air quotes "Eva," her real name is Amber, lives with her senile grandma in San Pedro.
All her New York this, Dalton that, Le Rosey this-- imaginary.
And she really stabbed a kid? In the face when she was nine.
This girl is a freak.
Wow, what an astute observation.
Okay, you can dial back the bitchery if you want my help.
But that's how I express my genuine disgust for you.
It's authentic.
[Wind howling.]
- What was that? - Oh, bonus.
There's a storm coming in.
Snow, high winds, so bundle it up, Hamiltoe, and let's get moving.
I still can't believe that Amber got me booted off this trip.
Okay, well, try to keep it under wraps so no one sees you, okay? Hey, Theo.
Theo.
[Groans.]
Little late for the key party, Jenna.
Have you seen Matty or Eva? Uh, yeah.
I was getting an amateur blowie out in the trees, totally bored, and I saw them lugging their crap up the road.
Which way? I don't know.
Up? Theo, get ready for some pow-pow! Wait, for real? Look outside.
There's a storm coming in.
Oh, hey, Cole, have you seen Matty and Eva? No, why are you creeping on them? I'm not, I'm just-- Have you guys noticed anything off about Eva? Not really.
Just your basic compulsive liar psycho bitch.
What? You knew about that? - Why didn't you tell anyone? - Why would we? She's genius.
Wind her up and watch that shit stir.
Give that mess a reality show, stat.
Maybe we could talk Jenna and Luke into ice skating with us.
Yeah, Lace, just what she's dreaming of, a double date with us.
I'm catching some freshies.
Ugh, fine.
I guess I'll catch freshies with you.
Are you still afraid of the lift? Are you still afraid of me ripping your balls off, because you should be.
Good morning, Lissa.
How did you like the key party? Did you like your room? Were there any flowers in the attic? Nothing happened.
We're brother and sister.
That's good, because the eyes of God are upon you.
Don't let them get to you, Lissa.
Hey, guys, what'd the key party unlock for you? Nice try sending me five guys.
I'm saving my energy for the slopes.
Well, I sent the other four packing, and all this one got was a handie.
A storm is headed our way.
Forecast says it's an epic powder day.
I don't rely on technology.
I have intuition, a gift.
Some call it "The Shining.
" You can shine on whatever you want as long as we get our pow-pow.
Hey, kids.
Heard some NC-17 noise coming from your room last night.
That was me wiping the floor with Jake's ass.
Whoa! You did not wipe my ass; I'm creamed yours.
I cannot believe you made me play for six hours straight.
You wouldn't stop.
It's addictive.
But morally, I object to violence in video games, especially when I lose.
Wait, gaming? That's what you guys got up to? Duh, endlessly repeating.
OMG, what did you guys expect? Desperate grappling and soggy sheets.
Sorry to disappoint you guys.
I am so not.
I got to get out for this powder day.
Have you seen Matty? Where the hell is he? We can't rent a car.
It's snowy and windy, and I am stuck here with you.
This is starting to feel really desperate and hopeless.
Is that comforting for you, since it's so familiar? You mean like how you feel soaking in your toxic stew of self-loathing and spite and bitterness? Aww, you're trying to keep up with me.
Precious, but stop.
No, you stop.
I am not in the mood.
Luke bailed on me this morning.
Gee, boo hoo.
Eva sabotaged my relationship with Austin also.
She did? How? Not so into oversharing.
If they got on a shuttle, they could be anywhere in this shanty town.
Good thing you took a three-hour bus ride in the middle of the night to share that astonishing insight.
Got to get out for the powder day.
Earlier the better.
Oh, ever since I got caught in a white out in Zermatt, I'm not really into these conditions.
The perfect day would be me and you laying by the fire.
Hmm.
This place is pretty awesome.
Yeah, the Schafers are pretty cool about letting me use their places, and they're hardly ever in the States.
We should have just come here in the first place.
Well, I thought we should stay with the group, because I was trying so hard to fit in, but it seems like the more I try, the more I get ragged on.
Yeah.
I know, but they-- Anyway, it's good we're here now.
I have something kind of intense I need to tell you.
It keeps going straight to his voicemail.
I don't even think his phone is on.
We're gonna die out here.
Try calling Eva from your phone.
She might answer you.
You never know.
If I'm bagging, I should text Jake.
Damn, my phone's dead.
Can I borrow yours? Mine is too.
The weak signal up here is murder on our batteries.
Went to voicemail.
- Did it ring first? - Yes.
Then it's on.
What difference does it make? She's not answering.
Can't find my charger.
I must have left mine in the lodge.
Should we go back? No.
It's fine.
It's kind of nice being cut off from everyone, everything, just the two of us.
We can talk later.
This is a dream come true.
Don't be such a nightmare.
I wouldn't be calling you unless I was completely desperate.
You're very needy for such a ball buster, you know that? Listen, that psycho bitch is on the loose, and I need to find a missing person.
Can you help me track them down through the GPS on their phone? That's some serious crazy, Sadita.
You think I'm some James Bond dude, drinking Martinis and stuff, with a Batmobile and stuff? Look, I am asking you to ask your dad for another favor.
Damn,blanquita.
It's like you want to be a part of mi familia so bad.
Don't cops do stuff like this all the time? Send me the number.
I'll talk to my dad.
But you owe me.
You know I admire you and love you, and you are so kind, and I would love to have a sister like you.
But you do have a sister like me.
That's just it.
You know you're not really my sister, right? Biologically or legally.
Yes, I know, but I also know right from wrong.
Oh, it's way too cold and windy to go out there.
Let's go find Jenna and Luke.
No, Jenna said she wants to be on her own today.
We don't want to be buzzkill helicopter parents.
My shining is really strong in this altitude, and I am sensing Jenna does not want her buzz killed.
And that there is a wild animal craving some me.
Hey, Biggie, foraging for some berries and nuts? And honey, honey.
I'm off at 4:00.
Apres ski in the base lodge bar? Apres, yes.
[Growls.]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! This is scare-ifying! - But I think I finally got it.
- Okay.
Now that you're strapped in, you can try moving.
Let's start with falling leaf.
No, I don't want to fall.
Then let's just hold a beat, and you can try not moving on the board.
Sorry I'm such a spaztron.
You can go do the black diamond with Matty if you want.
You haven't been that much of a spaz.
Yeah, I have.
And I don't just mean today.
I mean, like, for months now, and I appreciate you putting up with it.
Well, back at you.
Those weren't exactly my finest hours either.
- I'm glad we're still friends.
- So glad.
We only have one more semester together, and I keep having these flash-forwards to the flashbacks I'll have of high school when I'm in college, and I want them to be magical moments with my PPFFs.
"Perma-Posse of Friends Forever.
" - All right.
- Okay.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
- You sure? - No.
[Beeping sound.]
_ I think I see the house.
You be careful, Sadita.
I need your help on the truck.
You know, the wieners like it when you hold them.
Yeah, that's clever.
Thank you, and I'll let you know how it goes.
Let me know when you're safe, okay? You think you're this tough bitch, but I know you're a fragile little princess.
Go fuck yourself! This is a really nice neighborhood.
What are they doing here? Well, she's a psychotic grifter.
Use your imagination.
I'm just scared.
Don't worry.
If she pulls a gun, I'll use you as my human shield, and you'll die a quick and painless death.
Are you ever not a total bitch? Only to people who don't repulse me.
Good.
Go by yourself.
Wait! Don't go.
Why? Because.
I would feel better if you were here.
Well, Sadie, if that's you begging me to come with you, then I guess I have to come with you.
That is not begging.
Anyway, I have mace in my pocket in case the nut job tries anything.
[Doorbell rings.]
What are you guys doing here? Blowing that bitch's cover.
Eva's real name isn't even Eva.
It's Amber Horn from San Pedro.
She stabbed a guy in the face with a pencil.
Excuse me, Hamilcrap, that is my intel.
Whoa, whoa, you guys, just stop it.
I know you have a thing against Eva, but you need to deal.
Do you even know who she really is? Yeah, I do; she told me.
But she is my girlfriend, and-- And what? And it is really none of your business.
I'm pregnant.
Obviously Matty and I still have a lot we need to talk about, so do you mind leaving us alone? I do mind, Amber.
I call bullshit on this pregnancy.
Pregnant with what? You've lied about everything since the day you got to PHHS.
Matty, I can't take this.
Listen, you guys, you need to go.
Yeah, you try getting us a cab.
So there's a lot more, Matty, that you don't know, and I'm sure they're dying to tell you, so I'd rather you hear it from me first.
This should be interesting.
I don't live in PV.
I live in San Pedro with my grandmother because my parents abandoned me when I was seven.
I'm sorry.
Matty, you know you have to take everything she says with a major grain of salt.
I just really wanted to go to a good school and belong somewhere with people like you guys.
You seem like such a tight-knit group.
Actually, Jenna and I hate each other.
I just wanted a chance at a better life.
Matty, can I show you pictures of Amber's bedroom? [Sighs.]
You must be so proud of yourself, Sadie.
It wasn't enough you attacked me on the bus.
You take advantage of my grandmother, an old woman who's, like, the only person in my family that gives a crap about me? So you snoop through my bedroom? Good job.
You're nuts.
[Scoffs.]
I've been attacked by girls like you my whole life, and the kid I "attacked" in the fourth grade, she was with two other kids in the bathroom, holding me down, trying to dunk my head into a toilet, talking about how trash I was.
So, yeah, lucky for me, there was a pencil on the floor.
[Scoffs.]
And there's more, Matty, and if you give me a chance, I'll explain to you anything you want to know.
But there's one thing I never lied about that I would never, and those are my feelings for you.
They're sacred.
The sociopathic slag is good.
Got to hand her that.
Hoo! Crazy powder day, huh? Hi.
Sorry, do I know you? Yeah, Val, it's Will.
Biggie.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry, I didn't recognize you without your-- you know, your head on.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, here I am.
Yeah.
It's a whole new Biggie, huh? Just no fur.
Oh, God, there he is.
Are you crazy? You could have died out there.
Then what would I have done? I didn't almost die.
It's just a sprain.
Maybe you should take it down a notch, gramps.
Yeah, thanks, Lace.
[Groans.]
Maybe I am feeling a little old.
Being around all these high school kids, my little girl about to leave the house.
Honey, don't feel old.
That makes me feel old.
[Laughs.]
Would you like another drink, or would you like to head back to my den? [Growls.]
Uh, actually, Biggie, I don't know why I didn't sense this sooner.
Guess my shining isn't infallible.
Your shining? My extreme acuity, my sixth sense, it can sometimes be a burden.
But, anyway, you seem like a nice guy.
I just-- I think I was so dazzled by the costume, that I didn't even think about what you looked like without it.
Oh, I'm not allowed to take off any part of the costume while I'm on duty.
You know, because a bear body and a human head, it would just destroy the illusion.
Of course.
Of course.
I think I'm just a little more attracted to the bear than the man.
I don't know what that says about me.
Maybe I should get a dog.
It's cool.
Your shining thing kind of creeped me out anyway.
Well Thanks for the walk on the wild side, though.
I can't believe Matty blew me off, and on a powder day.
And where's Jenna? I'm starting to get a little worried.
I don't know.
Have you seen Jenna? We haven't from heard from her or Matty all day.
Luckily, I have my gift of the shining.
If I can just concentrate, it will guide them to me.
Oh, my God, my shining is so strong, it's sucking the energy out of all the lights.
[Screams.]
This is a sign from God.
Lissa, dearest, you haven't done anything wrong.
But I've thought of doing something wrong.
You have? Yes.
All the time.
Isn't that just as bad? Hell feels really good.
Huh, well, this just keeps getting cozier.
I'll look for candles and flashlights.
I'll come with you.
You have to know that I wouldn't be here with Sadie if I wasn't really concerned about you with her.
Well, I can take care of myself.
Would you please listen to me? I have given up a lot to be here.
Luke pretty much dumped me.
She's pregnant, Jenna.
You heard that part, right? And you believe her? At the moment, yes.
I think I have to take her word for it.
She just admitted to being a compulsive liar.
Has she even taken a test? I mean, I thought I was pregnant once.
Yeah, and you were so upfront and honest about it at the time.
How far along are you? Don't know yet.
I only skipped one period.
Why didn't you use protection? I know.
It's crazy.
We use condoms every time.
It's like the universe just wanted us to have a baby.
Yeah, right.
That's what the universe wants.
Got 'em.
Look, let's not get into any more of this shit, all right? Truce? I just want you to be okay.
If she's really having my kid, I got to deal with it.
I'm not putting my kid up for adoption.
I know.
All right.
[Door creaks open.]
[Woman gasps.]
Who's there? Hey, it's Eva Mansfield.
Who the hell are you? This isn't the Schafers' place? Do you know my friends Carol and Bill? We bought this house from them five years ago.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.
You had a key out right where they kept theirs.
Would you and your friends please leave before I call the police? The rest of that night was a blur.
Somehow, Eva talked the owners of that house out of calling the police.
Somehow, Matty's faith in Eva seemed unwavering, and somehow, I made it back to the lodge and my bed.
It was a very far cry from the romantic night with Luke I'd been planning.
[Sadie snores.]
The storm had passed, but that didn't mean the air was clear.
Sadie, what are you doing here? I've been here the whole time.
Really? Wow, that's spooky.
My shining is telling me we need to get the hell off this mountain.
Our last senior ski trip.
Well, we all have to grow up some time.
Thanks, Jenna.
It was so scary last night.
I kept wishing I had someone to hold me, because I was all alone, by myself, alone.
I didn't know why Eva's getting busted as a house crasher didn't send Matty running.
Either he still actually believed in her, or he was just trying to do the right thing, which was very Matty and kind of heartbreaking to watch.
You know, maybe you should take another test to be sure.
There can be false positives.
Okay.
Yeah, I know.
I just want to be sure.
Of course.
And I want you to be sure.
I really couldn't tell what he was thinking, which was unsettling.
But seeing Matty take control of his situation made me realize I had to find a way to take control of mine.
Luke? Hey.
Hey.
I'm so sorry.
I really screwed up.
I just got caught up in all that Eva mess, and she's really bad news, but I know that's no excuse.
You dropped everything, blew off work and school and-- - Jenna, I get it.
I really do.
You're in high school.
Everything's spinning out of control, and you're just trying to cope, and, the truth is, you still have a lot of growing up to do.
And I think, for now, you should probably just go do that.
What? Luke, no, no, no.
It's-- You're a great girl, Jenna.
I don't know, maybe some day.
But I just think our timing's wrong.
You look like hell.
Yeah.
Luke just broke up with me.
I'm sorry.
The psycho skitch is in the bathroom, taking the test right now.
It ends here, people.
There is no way she is pregnant.
Sadie.
playing one game saying one thing do another saying one line spending your time with another playing these games having no shame makes me wonder
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