Bad Behaviour (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
(WIND BLOWS)
(CRACKLING)
GIRL: (WHISPERS) Alice.
(GIGGLING)
(CLATTERING)
(BANG!)
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
(WHISPERING)
(INTERMITTENT CLATTERING)
(WHISPERING)
(CLATTERING AND GIGGLING)
(INCREASINGLY FREQUENT CLATTERING)
(CLATTERING AND GIGGLING)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(SOBS AND SCREAMS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION APPROACHES)
Alice?
Alice Kang?
Yes?
It's Jo.
From Silver Creek.
Jo.
It's fine, guys.
What are you doing here? I mean
I'm playing a series.
I've been in Europe for the last
seven years, with an orchestra, so
Amazing. Congratulations.
It's so weird to see you like this.
I
have to get to rehearsal
Of course.
We should catch up.
Have coffee or something.
I have a pretty full schedule.
Of course.
(LAWNMOWER WHIRS)
Hi, Dad.
Jo-Jo!
- Hi.
- Hi.
Is she home?
No, she's out on a walk.
I just came to pick something up.
Door's open.
(HAUNTING CELLO MUSIC)
(DOG BARKS)
Booey!
Hey, boy! Hi!
Hey, Booey.
WOMAN: Booey!
- Get your bone!
- (BARKS)
- Hello, Joanna.
- Hi, Mum.
Find what you were looking for?
I've got to get going.
Well, put all that back
before you go, won't you?
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
- This is from last month, so
- OK.
Somebody needs to be
butch of the week this week,
and I'm not gonna do it.
OK. Why can't Jo be butch of the week?
- Hello.
- Hi!
- Welcome home.
- What's that?
Just some stuff I picked up
from Mum and Dad's.
How is dear Caroline?
Same old.
Hey, congrats on the anthology!
Now I can tell everyone at school
I live with a famous writer.
(LAUGHS)
Now I just have to think
of something to write about.
I just know you're going to
write something brilliant.
To Jo!
- To Jo.
- To Jo.
- Hey.
- Clank, clank.
- (ALL LAUGH)
- Sorry.
Steady on.
GIRL: Smile. (SHUTTER CLICKS)
(MAGPIES WARBLE)
(INSECTS CHIRRUP, BIRDS CALL)
These are decent trees, aren't they?
Look up there.
Camp fire.
This must be Joanna!
Welcome to Silver Creek.
Alex Lacey. Head of Red House.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Sorry we're late.
It was a bit hard to find.
(LAUGHS) We like it that way.
I can take this.
The girls have all
gone down to the dinner hall.
Except Alice.
You two might get on, actually.
Alice is here on a scholarship too.
This is you.
Where do you sleep?
Oh, I don't live here.
- Teachers are down the road.
- Really?
The girls are very much on their own.
You'd be amazed what a year out here
does for their independence.
One year in the bush teaches you things
you just can't learn in a classroom.
I'll just have a quick look.
No devices of any kind.
Snacks to be kept in the tog room.
And smoking and alcohol
are expellable offences.
Don't worry. Jo's a good girl.
Give you a moment to say your goodbyes.
I was a scholly here myself, once.
This is going to be the best year
of your life, Joanna.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Make sure you write, OK?
I will.
I'll miss you.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Bye, Joey!
What kind of scholarship are you on?
- Academic. You?
- Mine's music.
I play cello. I'm up to 8th grade.
You must be good.
You have to be
if you're going to be first cello
in the Berlin Philharmonic.
So, what do you want to be?
I'm going to be a writer.
So, you're good at English?
(FLIES BUZZ)
(INSECTS CHIRRUP)
Listen.
(BIRD CALLS)
(CREAKING, RUSTLING)
What?
Creepy isn't it?
Come on.
(LOUD CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
That's our table over there.
- Is this Red House?
- Yeah.
- Hi. I'm Jo.
- Simone.
I'm Emma. This is Lou.
Hey, farm girls,
who's your new girlfriend?
(LAUGHS)
That's Veronica,
but everyone calls her Ronnie.
Just ignore her.
SIMONE: She's been a boarder since
kindy. That's why she's such a bitch.
LOU: What's Briohny's excuse?
GIRL: Move it! We're starving over here!
That's Portia.
Portia and Ronnie were nearly
expelled from city campus last year.
What for?
Caught in the boys' school
boarding house after hours.
They got off.
Portia's grandfather's on the board.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Slushie, slushie, slushie!
Oi, oi, oi!
BOTH: Slushie, slushie, slushie!
Oi, oi, oi!
- What's slushie?
- Slush duty. We all have to do it.
Cordial please, slushie!
- Cordial!
- Come on.
Cordial, please.
(GIRLS LAUGH)
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
(BELL DINGS)
MAN: Good evening, everyone.
ALL: (SING-SONG) Good evening, Mr Pegg.
Welcome to Silver Creek campus,
and a special welcome to the new
students joining us today.
Your year here offers
a unique opportunity for growth.
It will change your lives.
You've been removed
from the comfortable,
and deprived of your precious devices.
- Boo!
- (LAUGHTER)
And you'll be tested by hikes, camps,
cross-country and long-distance runs,
all in preparation for
the famous Silver Creek Marathon
at the end of the year.
(ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD)
I urge you all to
look at each other now
because you won't know yourselves
by the year's end.
We're hardly in any of the same classes.
We're still living together.
Plus what about
all the cross-country running?
- Ugh.
- And hiking?
- And camping and trekking
- Agricultural lessons?
(GASPS) I heard
we have to do lamb docking.
What's that?
You know, when you chop off their tails.
- No way.
- Yeah.
Hey, Kanga.
Cute pyjamas.
Don't you know how to take a compliment?
- Thanks.
- (LAUGHTER)
What's your name, scholly?
Joanna. Jo.
Joanna Jo who?
Mackenzie.
Can you run, Mackenzie?
Don't want to let the house down.
I was athletics vice-captain
at my school last year,
and my Dad and me train together.
My Dad and I, Mackenzie.
We have standards
at this school, you know?
(BOTH LAUGH)
LACEY: Alright, everyone!
Reading until 9.30, and then lights out.
Night, Jo.
See you, Alice.
You alright, Jo? Settling in OK?
(CELLO PLAYS)
(GIRLS SING) Lord of our life and ♪
God of our salvation ♪
Star of our night and ♪
Hope of every nation ♪
- Hear and receive ♪
- Look at Alice.
(BOTH GIGGLE)
Shut up, you morons!
..church's supplication ♪
Lord God Almighty ♪
Peace in our hearts, our ♪
Evil thoughts assuaging ♪
Peace in your church where ♪
Brothers are engaging ♪
Peace when the world its ♪
Busy war is waging ♪
Calm your foes' raging ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Listen up!
This is a short 6-K circuit
around Mt Silver Creek and back.
Follow the markers.
I don't want to see any dawdlers.
I've never run that far before.
It'll be fine, you'll see.
LACEY: Just do your best
and pace yourselves.
There's a water station
at the halfway point.
It may seem hard for some of you now,
but I promise you'll be
sprinting up Mt Silver Creek
by the end of the year.
Good luck, Mackenzie.
MAN: Ready?
Get set
(PISTOL FIRES)
- Ugh
- You OK?
Cramps. Think I'm getting my period.
I'll walk for a bit.
You don't have to stay with me.
Keep running.
- You sure?
- Go for it.
You could come first.
- Run, Mackenzie!
- Come on, Mackenzie!
LACEY: Well done for finishing, Jo.
Oh, here we are, a few more.
Good work. Come on. Oh, here we go.
Thanks.
Oh, here she is!
ALL: Oh! (GIRLS SHOUT INDISTINCTLY)
RONNIE: Go, Kanga!
BRIOHNY: Took you fucking
long enough, bitch!
(CONTINUE SHOUTING)
(ALL LAUGH)
Fucking bitches.
LACEY: Well done, Alice.
(SCREAMING)
Whose undies are these?
They stink of blood and piss!
Briohny, stop! Please!
What are you, a filthy pig?
Ever heard of personal hygiene?
Huh? (SNORTS)
- Huh?
- Leave her alone!
Or what?
What's going on?
Kanga's on her rags
and stinking out the house.
I was just giving her a lesson
on cleanliness.
(CHUCKLES)
Don't be a fucking cow, Briohny.
- But she's
- Everyone, get out.
Show's over.
I was going to wash them.
Well, now you can wash them
with the ones you just pissed.
Are you OK?
I don't know if I can handle
living with them for a whole year.
You can.
It's going to be alright.
We're in it together, OK?
- Hey!
- Hey.
Pub for dinner?
It's burger night, my shout.
Didn't Saskia message you?
They're cooking.
Oh. That's right.
I told them I'd be home.
Any excuse, hey?
What do you mean?
To text you.
- It's obvious they like you.
- No, it's not.
They're with Gabby.
Promise you won't let anything
happen to fuck up the house.
I promise!
Nothing will happen.
So, um Where's Gabby?
Uh, she had exams to mark.
Yum. It's delish.
Thank you.
Is it alright?
Mmm! It's really good.
- Mail's here!
- Oh, my God, mail!
(ALL EXCLAIM)
Biggest for the best.
Nothing for you, Mackenzie?
What, your parents enjoying
their freedom too much to write?
Maybe they don't know how.
You can share mine.
Mum always sends me too much.
Thanks!
Briohny, stop!
Please! Ooh, cookies.
LACEY: Alright, people!
This weekend's
your first overnight hike.
You'll be walking in groups,
and carrying everything with you.
One member of each group,
meet me in the tog room
for your navigation packs.
(SCREAMING AND SHOUTING)
You're with us Mackenzie.
What?
Best group or what?
Anyway, you were talking and talking
Yeah, yeah.
So, talking, talking, talking.
And eventually, he was, like,
I don't know, he said
something, like, really smart,
And I was like, OK, cool.
And then, he begged me to
send him a pic to remember me by.
So I said I'll show him mine
if he shows me his.
And did he?
Yeah. Full fucking dick.
(LAUGHTER)
- Impressive!
- Ew.
Come on, Mackenzie, keep up!
- How big was it?
- Fucking massive.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Wait, how old's this guy?
- 17.
I can only I think
I can only fuck 17-year-olds.
Well, no, 'cause they're smarter,
more mature.
Yeah. 15-year-olds are too immature.
Shit.
This is crap.
We don't even have half the pieces.
How come they've got theirs up already?
It's like the one I have at home.
I put it up with Dad when we go camping.
You do it, then,
if you're such an expert!
- You having a good laugh?
- Oh, fuck off!
That was three fucking times.
Oh, fuck.
Jo.
Do you reckon that
tastes like blue cheese?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Ow! Something bit me!
- Oh, gross!
- (LAUGHTER)
Get it away!
Are you scared it's going to bite you?
No! Get it away!
(LAUGHTER)
Look what you made me do!
Stop! I'm going to piss myself.
It's not funny!
(LAUGHTER)
(ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING)
Ta-dah!
Ham and cheese supreme.
Thanks, chef.
Oh, it's too hot.
Briohny, I'm not choosing you
for Final Hike
if you whine over every little thing.
(LAUGHS)
Who knows?
I might choose Jo instead of you.
(SNORING)
- Get up!
- BRIOHNY: Oh!
Portia wants to get back
before the other groups.
BRIOHNY: Fuck's sake!
There's a strand of fucking stink.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(LAUGHTER)
Anyone else need to go?
Jo?
You look like you need to take a shit.
No.
BRIOHNY: Jo, I can see you turtling.
RONNIE: She's gonna shart
before we're back.
BRIOHNY: Yuck. What if she shat herself?
- I will beat you up.
- I'd like to see you try.
- Try and succeed, motherfucker.
- Go on.
Try and succeed.
- Dah!
- Oh
Let's run the rest of the way.
Make sure we're the first group back.
BRIOHNY: Oh, it's too far.
Go, Jo!
- Oh! Fuck!
- What the fuck!
You're not piking, are you, Mackenzie?
I'm good.
(ALL CHANT) We're the fastest,
we're the strongest,
we're the fiercest, ra-ra-ra!
We're the fastest, we're the strongest,
we're the fiercest, ra-ra-ra!
We're the fastest,
we're the strongest
See?
I told you running was a good idea,
didn't I?
(HISSES)
Hey, Mackenzie!
Sit.
(GIRLS CHATTER)
Come on.
She'll live.
Where's Briohny?
Service with a smile,
that's our Whiohny.
Juice, please, slushie!
(GIGGLING)
Hey Jo, you know what
Kanga's new nickname is?
It's KFC.
Like the chicken?
It stands for Kanga's Fat Cunt.
(LAUGHTER)
- That's so mean.
- What?
What did you say?
Nothing.
Full moon tonight.
Who wants to do the Bell Run?
Sarah?
What is it?
You have to run through
the school grounds at midnight,
ring the chapel bell
as many times as you can,
then run back to the house
without getting caught.
No, you have to do all that naked.
I'll do it.
What do you say, Mackenzie?
PORTIA: Let's go.
(BELL CLANGS)
(ALL GIGGLE)
(CHEERING)
Well done, Jo.
(MUSIC ENDS)
You're chirpy this morning.
Hey, Mackenzie, is it true
did you do the Bell Run last night?
Look out, I think we're busted.
Who cares?
What's the worst they can do?
(LAUGHS)
I don't need to tell you girls this
kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
Out of bounds at night
anyone could have come across you.
Consider this a first strike.
Seeing as you like the dark,
you each will run a 4am Stonely Road.
Joanna, you can go first.
Stonely Road, ladies!
(CHEERING)
Are you OK?
Of course I am.
Why would you risk your scholarship?
You wouldn't understand.
(PORTIA LAUGHS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Joanna Mackenzie?
It is too.
Portia said she thought she saw you.
Come with me. Oh, my God,
what have you been up to?
I can't believe it's been 10 years.
This is so wild. (LAUGHS)
Look who I found.
Hi, Portia.
Isn't this amazing!
It's like a school reunion.
What about our Alice, hey?
Isn't she a star?
Mm! We should get a photo,
with us all together.
Like old times.
Portia go and get Alice.
- Um, actually, I have to
- Of course.
We wouldn't want to get you sacked.
Hey, Jo, can you bring back
some of those darling lamb cutlets?
(CHATTER)
- Oh, there she is!
- (LAUGHTER)
Going for another run tonight?
Who else are you going to
get your tits out for?
(LAUGHTER)
Strip!
Strip!
(ALL CHANT) Strip! Strip! Strip!
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
(SILENCE)
You want to do fire watch
with me after class?
Just the two of us?
All clear to the east.
Slight southerly breeze.
You're a good drawer.
Ta.
- Want to see?
- Mm-hm.
- Who's that?
- My mum.
I did it from a photo.
She's pretty.
That's Cath.
Her girlfriend.
They live together in Queensland.
Bet I'm the only girl at school
with a gay mum.
Don't tell anyone.
What about you?
What about me?
What's your family like?
Normal.
Boring.
You should come home one holiday.
To Queensland?
Best beaches in the world, and
we can do whatever we want.
Can swim, play tennis,
Eat prawns and lobster every day
if we like.
Plus there's the hottest guys.
That'd be cool.
Look at them all.
They're just sheep.
Always following.
They're so dull.
But some of them are alright.
I mean, what about Ronnie and Briohny?
What about me?
I haven't worked you out yet.
(WHISPERS) Shit.
This is where you've been hiding.
How have you been, Jo?
Good.
So, what do you do.
I write.
I'm trying.
It's not exactly covering the rent yet.
Here, give me your phone.
Message me.
It's good to see you, Mackenzie.
(DOOR SWINGS)
(ENGINE IDLES)
MAN: What are you
waiting for, Mackenzie?
You've got 35 minutes.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
'Night, Alice.
- 'Night.
- Great concert.
I only snuck in for a bit,
but from what I saw, you were amazing.
Yeah, well,
wasn't easy with Portia sitting
in the middle of the third row.
You haven't seen them
since school, then?
I got away as fast as I could.
'Night.
Hey, we still have that coffee.
Why?
I thought it would be nice to catch up.
I don't want to talk about Silver Creek.
We don't have to.
You don't need to worry, Jo.
I've forgiven you.
Forgiven me?
What for?
Portia was bad.
But of all the girls in Red House,
you were the worst.
(SCREAMS) Bitch!
Hey.
What's all this?
Um, opening night party.
Help yourself.
Mmm.
You don't get that in the staffroom.
Everything OK?
Sure. Why?
I don't know. You just
seem sad or something.
I'm fine.
Good listener.
Maybe I don't want to talk.
Sorry.
Bad day.
Wine?
Gabby still marking exams?
School fundraiser.
Trivia night.
- I hate trivia.
- God, so do I.
Do you want me to kiss you?
Do you want to?
(WHISPERS) Maybe we shouldn't
(SOFT MOANING)
(HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES)
MAN: Don't you dare stop running,
Mackenzie!