Bad Girls (1999) s07e13 Episode Script

Earlier on today, apparently, a lady rang in to say that she'd heard that the worst winter storm for about 150 years was on the way.
Well, if you're watching, don't worry.
It isn't.
I suppose there might just be the odd flurry of snow here and there this Christmas Eve but no more than that and certainly nothing to worry the bookies.
There you go.
How does that feel? No, that's not too tight.
That's good.
- What do you think? - I think fancy dress was a very good idea.
It will really help lift everyone's spirits.
I love Christmas.
Always have done.
And the snow can keep falling, as far as I'm concerned.
I got a feeling it's gonna be a good one.
Me, too.
I get a real sense of truce.
Renewed faith.
Talking of which, I'm hoping we'll get more than two people at the carol service.
Oh, don't you worry.
It's gonna be the highlight of the day.
- What about the panto? - Well, that's good for a laugh, but it's the singing that'll bring the women together.
The singing of carols.
I don't think you realise how important you are to me, Padre.
Means a lot to hear you say that, Joy.
Good.
I'm home, Ju.
Oh, crikey! The sooner we get done with this and get home, the better.
Spending Christmas with your family? Not flaming likely.
I'd rather be stuck in here.
And Bobby Darren's off to the sun.
With a pal.
No, I shall be in my flat, feet up in front of the box, happy as muck.
Oh, for Jiminy's sake! We're gonna be here all morning.
I knew this would happen.
Half of them use this as a Christmas shelter at this time of year.
Look.
What in blazes are you doing back here? Hello, miss.
You'd better not start any of your antics, Johnston.
No, I'm fine now.
Oh, these are presents I got for Ju and Tine.
Presents? They'll have to be checked.
Take Johnston for her photo and then her medical.
We shall want an all-clear before she's allowed on the wing.
Come on.
No! It can't be.
Hey, Dumpy.
Where are you going with my smack? I'm taking it to Snow Black, Grumpy, the most beautiful woman in all the kingdom.
How much she paying? Oh! Snow Black don't do drugs, Grumpy.
She's just looking after it for us.
'Cause the Evil Queen Screw is - trying to get her thieving paws on it all.
- That's it.
- Hope I don't forget it.
You won't.
You'll be fine.
What are you looking at? Snow Black, is it? How you mean, girl? You disrespecting me colour? Well, ain't you gonna answer Darlene? Come on, we haven't got much time.
I tell you what, Arun.
Why don't you just make me Snow White? You don't want Darlene putting your audience off, do you? Yeah, I might have a part for you.
You can play dwarf Noncey, if you like.
Nice one.
Darlene, come on, let's go.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the biggest stash of all? Okay, take her through.
Who are you, then? Hey, dopey Annie, I asked you a question.
Come over here.
Where's your flaming warrant? I don't have anything like that.
Oh, this is all we need.
- Name? - My name is Miranda Miles.
- Is it, now? - Yes, it is.
- I've no Miranda Miles here.
- Oh.
Where have you come from? I don't know.
- What do you mean, you don't know? - Is that bad? The MO's doing some tests on Julie Johnston.
Vicky, keep an eye on this one.
The escort's only gone without leaving her details.
Eh? Too busy thinking about bunking off early for Christmas! Oi, driver, wait! Oh, this is all we need! Set it down here.
Bleeding hell! Where'd you ship this one in from, Norway? Woolworths.
God, talk about Christmas bleeding spirit.
Come on, Tine.
Me and you'll make this look lovely.
- The freight's been delivered.
- Oh, blessed relief! Oswyn and Tull.
Well, somebody loves you.
- For us? - Oh, look, Phyl.
A Christmas hamper.
You weren't seriously expecting the booze stuffed in this thing to make its way through, were you? Booze? Ollie would never be so stupid.
Although a little something to spur on our festive cheer wouldn't go amiss.
You can do that by sharing this lot out.
Not everyone's got rich friends to send them foie gras and truffles.
Well, we'll just go away and divide this up into goody bags for all our friends.
- What's that? - Nothing.
Look.
It's a card from Dylan.
"Happy Christmas, Mummy.
" Nice of Colette, wasn't it? - Christ, they indoctrinate them young.
- Don't be daft, Pat.
Jesus.
Angel.
- Virgin Mary.
- Ebenezer Scrooge.
Look, I'm spending Christmas without my son.
So slap a smile on your face.
You know, I'm kind of looking forward to being banged up for Christmas.
You actually managed to say the C-word without looking like you'd swallowed something nasty, which means you can come carol singing with me without choking.
- You're winding me up.
- Oh, don't start, Pat.
It's only a few songs.
- It's hypocritical bollocks.
- Which you are way too threatened by.
This is freak weather that has really no business blowing down here from Siberia, but it has.
And bad as conditions are now, I'm afraid they're going to get very much worse.
We just didn't see it coming and all I can really say is sorry.
All over the region people have been forced to abandon their cars and walk if they are to have any chance whatsoever of making it home for Christmas.
The snow and high winds have also brought down electricity pylons, causing power failures to large parts of the region.
Emergency crews and volunteers are still fighting their way to rescue thousands caught on the roads by the storm, thought now to be the worst in more than 150 Bobby Darren.
Oh, can you believe it, Bobby D? I'm not gonna be able to see you in your tan-through trunks.
Bobby? Bobby? We've got a mystery guest.
Oh, yeah? Just been dumped in reception without any paperwork even to tip us off what she's in for.
- Well, where'd she come from? - Court.
I don't know.
If she's an inter-prison transfer, she can't be meant for us, can she? Or we'd have been told before.
- Well, who brought her in? - Secure-Assure.
Couldn't get away quick enough.
- Phone lines must be down.
- We're stuck with her, then.
Well, I'll have to speak to the number one, but I don't think anyone's going anywhere today.
- Had to abandon your holiday plans? - Oh, I'm sure we'll reschedule.
Five portions of fruit a day keeps sobriety at bay.
Mmm.
Gin.
Do you know, if I'm not mistaken, this one tastes of brandy.
A shame about the satsuma flavour but No, come on, Bev! We've got to share with the others.
Looking good there, Padre! You're looking very good.
I'd say you're a pretty good sight yourself.
Entrez! - Neil, why aren't you in costume yet? - Well, I haven't had time.
Well, I want all my staff dressed up in time for the carols.
Escorts have just delivered us a prisoner with no warrant.
She's been less than forthcoming about who she is, where's she's from or what she's serving a tariff for.
Well, why haven't we picked up the telephone? The phone lines are down, mobile networks jammed.
No room at the inn.
Well, we're not gonna turn her away today of all days, are we? Well, we're not legally bound to accept her.
Not without a warrant.
We could keep her at reception till the weather clears.
Find her a place on G-Wing for the time being.
- As long as I have your authorisation for that.
- That you do.
Right! Let's light this place up for Christmas.
What do you reckon, sir? Looks like a bomb exploded in a tinsel factory.
Yeah? Well, I know where we'd like to stick a bomb.
Eh, Tine? Yeah, Ju.
Ju! - Tell me it's you.
Tell me I ain't dreaming, mate! - Of course not.
It's me, Ju.
I've come back.
I've come back.
Hi, Tine! - Hello, Ju.
You all right? - Yeah.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'll take that.
- How's everyone? - It's good to see you.
Right, everyone! O'Kane? Put these in the fridge for later, will you? Pay attention, everyone! The carol service will begin at 11:30 prompt.
I would appreciate 100°/ attendance and full participation, as would the padre.
I know I can't force you all to join in, but for those of you willing to enter into the spirit of the season, mulled wine will be served.
I thought that might grab your attention.
What will be done with me? Where will I go? As soon as we know, we'll tell you, don't worry.
Wasn't worrying.
Number one wants her in G-Wing for now.
Doesn't look like she'll be too much trouble, but keep an eye on her.
All right, you.
Come on, move.
So what did they say, then, Ju, you know, about you getting better? Well, they told me I'm - Yeah, 100°/.
- Yeah? So it ain't never gonna come back, this bipolar thingy? - No, I got the all-clear.
- Good.
Fenner! Fenner! Ju! What is it? I seen him, Ju.
I seen Fenner! Fenner is dead and gone, mate.
No, but I saw him.
He was walking past just out there.
It's true! Flipping heck, Ju.
Come here.
Now, you have only just got back here.
You keep this up, they're gonna ship you off to the nuthouse twice as quick.
Is that what you want? - Well, is it? - Of course not.
Then put a bleeding sock in it, mate, will you? 'Cause they'll be carting me off to the muppet wing if I have to go through losing you again.
Sorry, Ju.
Just ain't been meself.
You can say that again.
Come here.
Come on, hurry up.
Up on the threes.
What's going on, Sylv? What's Julie J doing back here? Well, according to her doctor, she's sane as you and me.
- You're joking, aren't you? - Well, that's what they say.
But you know what this means? She's fit to plead guilty to Jim's murder.
I could be out by New Year's.
Di, you might be right.
It's nice of you to make it in time for Christmas.
Yes.
Have you brought me a present? Go on, then.
Open your locker.
Let's see what we've got.
See what we've got.
Fine, I'll do it myself.
Right.
Come on, bitch.
Where's your stuff? Where is it? Oh.
Do you want to see? That's kind of the idea, sweetheart.
Have you got gear crotched? My father gives me all I need.
When I existed in the world of the living, I needed things.
Not now.
But I've got this.
Look.
Go on, then.
Open it.
Look.
Look.
- So, what's your name? - I'm Miranda.
I'm Satan's daughter.
Oh, my God.
You're an absolute nutcase, aren't you? Shh.
Don't tell anyone.
A word.
The thing about Christmas Day in our house is it was the only time my dad was ever nice to me.
We got presents.
Mostly crap, though.
Jigsaws with the bits missing and that.
They was always wrapped and under the tree.
Yeah, well, Christmas brings out the best in the worst of people.
Oh, brung out the best in me, this one has.
I was a right old grump, wasn't I, Tine? Yeah, but with the lights on the tree all twinkling and stuff, you got to be happy, ain't you? Hang on.
Where are you taking me? You'll see.
Here.
Hm.
Kinky.
Come on.
I'm just taking Buxton to the chapel.
Her father died last Christmas and a bit of time there on her own might help.
Oh.
Well, so long as you're back in time for the carols.
Shame to miss them.
- You should be in costume.
- Yes, ma'am.
Come on.
I love Christmas.
Lord God Almighty! Me usually have to smoke a whole leaf of ganja to see something like that.
Nice, miss.
Suits you.
Shut up, Nebeski! Mrs Hollamby, it is Christmas.
Therefore we are all going to enjoy ourselves.
Is that understood? - Yes, ma'am.
Good.
Now, as some of you will be aware, because of extreme weather conditions, the prison is all but cut off.
Oh, does that mean we're not gonna be on lockdown tomorrow, then, miss? I mean, now there's plenty of you to keep an eye on us.
Quite possibly.
Christy.
- Would you like to hand out the carol sheets? - Oh, no! - I've left them in the chapel.
- Well, go and get them.
Flaming Nora, I can ski home if I have to.
You certainly know what you like, don't you? Just cut the chat.
Go on, then, get on with it.
Bend forward.
Both hands on the floor.
That's it.
Legs further apart.
Now keep still.
Keep very still.
Mr Spiers! What's going on here? I just came in and found her like this.
Rubbish! I've been outside and I heard everything.
And I don't see what's so funny.
You would if you had a mirror in front of you.
Quiet, Natalie, or I'll have to put you on report.
Now do yourself up.
I think it's you who should be on report, Mr Spiers.
Look.
You've got the wrong end of the stick here.
She was obviously playing a prank on me.
Weren't you? Yeah.
It's just a little joke, miss.
Nothing to get your knickers in a twist about.
See? I'll deal with her.
I'll be speaking to Joy about this.
She's going to be very disappointed.
With both of you.
Shit! - Is everything all right, Padre? - Yes, yes.
Fine.
- Here's the carol sheets.
- Oh, right.
Right, everyone.
We'll start with Away In A Manger.
You can take your cue from the padre.
- What's a padre? - It's the vicar.
# Away in a manger # No crib for a bed # The little Lord Jesus # Lay down his sweet head # The stars in the bright sky # Looked down where he lay # Calm down, everybody! Move! Lieutenant, get down to Central Control.
What's going on? - Grayling to Hotel Whisky.
Mrs Hollamby, stop panicking.
- Grayling to Hotel Whisky.
- Give me that lamp.
Will you please keep it down? I can't hear myself think! Here, Tine.
I think there's a torch in one of them drawers, go and get it.
- Yeah.
- Go on.
I'll stay with Ju.
Have you got it? - Yeah, hang on.
There you are.
Did the lights going out have something to do with you? Trying to set the right mood? Like it wasn't bad enough getting touched up by you in the first place.
Shut up.
Oh, face it, golden bollocks, you're up shit creek with Masterton now.
All that arse-licking and you're still gonna end up on the dole.
I don't give a damn that it's Christmas Eve! The world doesn't stop needing electricians! And why the hell hasn't that standby generator kicked in yet? You're a shambles, the lot of you! No sparks on site and no chance of getting any in, apparently.
Ma'am, if I could make a suggestion about the generator.
- Ju! - What is it? There's someone there! - I felt their breath.
- No, there's no one there, Ju.
There's no one.
It's probably just the wind, yeah? Ju, calm down.
It's all right.
- Cheers! - Cheers! Miss Masterton.
What a splendid outfit! My father had one not unlike it.
- I hear you're handy with electrics.
- Why, are we having some problems? Just bloody answer me, Oswyn, I haven't got time to mess around.
I know something about electrical circuitry, yes.
In that case, I need your help.
Really? Who would ever have thought that? If you don't shift your arse out of here in three seconds flat, I am distributing the contents of that hamper around the wing.
Do you understand? Phyllida, duty calls.
Mrs Hollamby! Don't you dare even touch that fruit.
Would I? Would you take Oswyn down to have a look at the emergency generator? And would this generator also be responsible for surveillance cameras, alarms, you know, security? Just follow Mrs Hollamby.
I suppose it would be too much to hope that this favour will be remembered, let alone rewarded.
Move it! Right, come on, everyone! We're not gonna let a little setback spoil all our fun, are we? Let's hear you all loud and clear.
# Away in a manger # No crib for a bed # The little Lord Jesus # Lay down his sweet head # The stars in the bright sky # Looked down where he lay # The little Lord Jesus # Asleep on the hay # Flaming union are going to hear about this.
What is it now? I truly don't mean to be rude, but it's just like being with Mrs Tiggy-Winkle.
Oh, shut it! # Silent night # Holy night # All is calm # All is bright # Round yon virgin mother and child # Holy infant, so tender and mild # Sleep in heavenly peace # Sleep in heavenly peace # Silent night # Holy night # Shepherds quake at the sight # Glories stream from heaven afar # Heavenly hosts sing # Welcome back.
- Oh, are you all right, miss? - Not really, Julie.
No.
Oh.
Soon will be, though.
As soon as this snow is cleared, I'm gonna get my brief in to take another statement.
Right.
Well, now that you're all better, I'm sure they'll believe you when you tell them that you killed Jim.
# Son of God # Love's pure light # Just get it off your chest, eh? # Radiant beams from thy holy face # If this is your idea of a lark, it's not mine.
The last lark I had involved saving someone's life, for which I have yet to be particularly thanked.
- Now, you listen here - No, you listen.
No security cameras are working, no one else is out here.
What's to stop me from doing a runner? On the other hand, you know where the screws' booze is kept.
Capisce? You get this lot sorted out and I'll see what I can do.
- Come on, hurry up.
- Which way now? Um It's up here.
You haven't the foggiest idea where we're going, have you? Where's your radio? Where was I supposed to hang it in this flipping get-up? - What's that? - What? - Something scurried.
- I can't see anything.
Oh, it's okay.
I think the sight of you in that outfit must have scared him off.
Oh, come on.
Finally.
- Oh, my God.
- Now what is it? - Rats.
- What? Yeah, there were three of them.
Well, I think there's a whole plague of them.
Good Lord, they're enormous.
Oh, come on! Blinking thing.
- Oh, at least we tried.
- Just stay put, you.
Here, in you go.
What, on my own? Well, that's what you're here for, isn't it? To fix the flipping whatever-it-is.
So just get in there and fix it.
There's supposed to be some tools in the corner.
- And you'll wait here, will you? - You've got two minutes.
If you're that handy, you'll have it done in half the time.
Bodybag! Bodybag? Pull yourself together and open this sodding door.
# Hail the Heav'n-born Prince of Peace # Hail the Son of Righteousness # I'm just going up to the cell to get me cardie.
Getting a bit cold.
- Yeah? I'll come with you.
- No, you're all right.
- You sure, Ju? - Yeah, course.
I know where I'm going, don't I? # Ris'n with healing in his wings # Mild he lays his glory by # I've been waiting for you.
Mate, what is it? - It's Fenner.
He's in our cell! - He's dead, I told you.
No, he's not, he's in there.
Sweetheart, he can't be.
Fenner is dead and buried, yeah? He's gone.
He ain't never coming back.
Not ever.
- What's happened? - Sounds like somebody been murdered.
- What's going on? - Ain't nothing, sir, nothing.
It is, it's Fenner.
I've seen him.
He's back! All right.
Everybody, downstairs.
Now, come on.
Yes, that's right.
He's there.
Come away from there.
See? I told you.
I know what I saw.
He ain't dead, he's still alive.
Well, all right.
Come and have a look for yourselves.
Come on.
No? Nothing.
Jim Fenner is dead.
No more ghost stories.
Let's have you all back downstairs.
How do we know he's dead? I mean, has anyone actually seen his body? What's up now? Julie J reckons she's seen Mr Fenner's ghost in her cell, miss.
Pull the other one.
Yes, that's right.
Fenner.
That's what he said his name was.
And he's dead.
Me no like the sound of this, you know.
She's a freak, man, and she's scaring me.
Okay.
Now I mean it.
Downstairs, everyone! You, too.
I'm Christy.
You might not remember me or recognise me under all this, but you can talk to me, Julie.
Tell me honestly.
I know you're mates.
Do you think there's any chance she could have killed Jim? - The truth, Julie.
- None.
And Fenner wouldn't have shat on us as much if you wouldn't have kept propping him up.
Small wonder.
American crap.
Backup genny? This thing's over the God! Ah.
Bugger off, ratty.
Ah.
Here we go.
Christy.
- How's it going? - I've just been speaking with Julie Johnston.
- Good.
- No, it's not good.
- Out with it.
- Something's very wrong, Joy.
I can't tell you exactly what or why but I can sense something evil and unnatural in G-Wing.
Called a power cut.
I think that's just a symptom connected to a darker force in the building that's affecting others as well.
You're not saying you believe her story, are you? I believe in demonic hauntings, yes.
Oh, come on.
It's nothing that a few more carols and a decent meal can't sort out.
We'll get the generator up and running.
The lights will come on and all your demons will disappear.
I want your permission to perform an exorcism.
An exorcism? Are you feeling all right? I'm serious.
There's something very wrong in this place at the moment.
I've never known anything like it.
Yeah, well, if things are on edge, they don't need any more stoking up, do they? And if you're feeling out of sorts, why don't you say a little prayer or something? - I intend on doing that anyway.
- Christy.
- We'll talk about it later.
- I'll be in the chapel.
Yes, Lord.
Of course.
I know you do.
I've never let you down before, have I? Trust me.
I'm your daughter.
Hey, I'm trying to breathe here, back it up.
Sorry.
I've just never been so freaked in all my life.
No such thing as ghosts, okay? Hang on to that simple idea, you'll all be all right.
- Well, you can believe that if you want.
- Yeah, I do.
I know say there's such a thing for real.
My friend, her auntie come from Haiti, - she's a houngan.
- Here we go.
What's one of them? You not know? She's a priest.
She can make the dead come back to life, - as zombies.
She what? She can make the dead undead.
You understand? I think there's some kind of houngan in this place.
I reckon Fenner would be a prime candidate to be undead.
Think about it, all the things he did when he was alive.
Imagine what he can do now he's dead.
Shut it.
No one asked you.
Here! You're one of them mediums, ain't you, Bev? Why don't you talk to Fenner? You know.
Ask him whether he's there.
If he's dead or not.
You really think that I want to talk to that man again? I mean, are you mad? I wish Phyl would hurry up and fix things.
Tell me about it.
It's bleeding freezing.
What is it, Ju? Ju, talk to us.
Jesus! There he is! - Oh, what do you want? - Ain't nobody there, mate.
Make him go away, please.
See? I told you.
It's the undead.
Make him go away.
He is from the grave.
- God! - Stop it! God help me! Please help me! - Go away! - Ju! Ju, stop it.
- Please get away from me! - Stop it, Ju.
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Please, please don't! Come to me.
Come to me! - Oh, my God! - This ain't bleeding funny.
Give me your power.
Give me your power.
Genius.
Bodybag? What's going on? Oh, right.
You fixed it.
Okay, good.
Let's be having you back on the wing.
Come on, hurry up.
Or, "Thank you very much, Phyllida.
Job well done.
Congratulations.
" You! Move, now! Go on back to your cells! You don't have to go back to your cells.
I'll do you a deal.
No lockdown if you calm down! Padre.
- What's happened? - Well, we do seem to have a situation here.
Now, my priority is to calm the women down.
- They're hysterical.
- Of course.
So we go ahead with the exorcism, only not too heavy on the theatrics.
But Joy, there will be a display.
It's all part of the process.
What the women need to experience.
What are you going to do, exactly? I'm going to cleanse the building.
Banish the evil.
Have you ever done anything like this before? No.
But I think I can do enough.
Are you sure? You must trust me to see this through, no matter what happens.
- Well, we'll see how it goes.
- No, you must promise me.
I promise.
# Ring a ring o' roses # A pocketful of posies # A-tishoo! A-tishoo! # We all fall down # I've decided to let the padre perform an exorcism.
You must be joking.
I'm not.
And I'm not superstitious by any means.
But something's got the women very rattled and we have to do something.
- Casting out devils? - Some sort of ritualistic performance.
Spiritual theatre, call it what you will.
Anything to calm 'em down.
Well, it's hardly wise, given the mental vulnerability of some of the women in this place! I am aware of that! People could be damaged by this! People could be damaged by a riot, which is what we will have if we don't act now! It's called management.
Damage limitation.
Until this weather clears up, we can't get in any resources.
We are outnumbered.
The women keep thinking they're seeing ghosts, ghouls, dead prison officers stalking the wing.
We have got to keep them calm.
I thought you had to be a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism.
Does Christy know what she's doing? I'm satisfied she does, yes.
Well, I'm having nothing to do with this.
Excellent.
From what I've seen of your ability, I'm very pleased to hear that! I charge you, unclean spirit, along with every satanic power of the enemy, every spectre from Hell and all your fell companions, leave this place now! In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, be gone! Be gone from this creature of God, for it is He who commands you.
It is He who flung you headlong from the heights of Heaven to the depths of Hell.
I only answer to my father, so piss on yourself! It is He who commands you, you enemy of the faith.
Piss on yourself! For the human race I promised her I'd not intervene.
you begetter of death.
- You robber of life, you corruptor of justice! - Piss on yourself! Oh, my God! That's disgusting.
- Stop.
Stop that now.
Stop! Put her down.
I've got her.
Stop that, put her down! Put her down! - This must stop now.
- Get out of my way.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and with the holy cross, I release you.
It is done.
Come on.
You feel all right now, Ju? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Here we go.
Just try and stay nice and quiet for a bit, okay? I'd like to leave this in here.
There'll be nothing more to fear from her now.
Well, whatever works.
- Ready? - No.
No lockdowns during festivities.
- Is that clever? - Well, it's the rules.
Unless you want to debate it with Miss Masterton.
Lack of medical notes meant that we weren't able to give her a strong sedative but, well, she seems relatively calm now.
I had no doubt at all that somebody in this place was possessed.
I could feel the Devil in the wing.
Never been much of a believer myself, but what we saw today was Well, it was truly amazing.
Yeah, well, it's time for us to get back to that truly amazing wing.
There's something I need to tell you.
Oh, not now, Christy.
Looks like there might be a break in the weather.
I wanna get the women out for a breath of fresh air.
Of course.
No hurry.
I need to go and get cleaned up.
Come on, hurry up.
Is this strictly necessary? Well, we haven't opened all our presents yet.
Our orders are to give you fresh air, Oswyn.
Yeah, but I mean surely, surely you can make the odd exception.
The master has spoken.
Now, come on.
Come on, move it! - It's a simple bloody question.
Did you kill him? - Get off her, will you? - Answer me, Johnston.
- Now, that's enough.
- Miss? - What's going on, Ju? You just get a grip on yourself.
I'm never gonna get out of here.
Buxton, can I have a word? Just deny anything happened, all right? With this freak show going on, we might be able to persuade the mad vicar she wasn't thinking straight.
No.
You either do something about her or she's gonna finish you.
- I think I might have a way to sort it, though.
- What? You're just gonna have to trust me, but I'm not doing it for my health.
What do you want? - Kerrigan shipped out.
- Can't do it.
Okay, your choice.
Good luck getting another job.
It's got to be doable.
Oh, trust me, it's doable.
But I want Kerrigan out.
- Can I help? - Yeah, push, it's heavy.
Who threw that? Come on, help me build a snowman.
- It's not really my thing.
- What a surprise.
I'm more a snowball-fight person, really.
I know she must not win.
Then why do you think she left this here? She wants you to betray your father.
- And she's not gonna stop until you do.
- I can't betray my father.
Well, then, you know what you have to do.
Yes.
She's in the staff showers.
# Hark the herald angels sing # Glory to the newborn king # Hello? Anyone there? # Joyful, all ye # - Ju! Ju! - What? You sure Di Barker's definitely got it wrong? You didn't kill him, Ju.
You haven't got it in you.
You wouldn't know how, sweetheart.
We're going to put all this behind us, yeah? We're going to try and never think of that bastard Fenner again, all right? Come on, everyone! Let's have you inside.
Mince pies.
- Quiet.
- Let's have that panto up and running.
- Come on.
Come on, hurry up.
Move it.
Frozen to the bone.
- Mrs Hollamby.
- Ma'am? Can you go and find the padre for me? I think she went to take a shower.
Of course, ma'am.
As if I haven't got enough to do.
Oh, for Pete's sake.
How long does it take to have a flipping shower? I can smell those mince pies, Ju.
I reckon they might be all right.
- What's that? - What's what, mate? - I heard someone screaming.
- No, you didn't.
It was just the wind.
Shit.
Don't worry, mate.
I'll get it.
Cor blimey.
There you go.
No! No, please! Ju, it's all right.
Keep calm, mate.
I'll get it, yeah? It's all right.
No, no.
Just stay away from me! - Ju, what you doing? - Stay away from me! Ju, what you doing, mate? Mate.
Mate, don't do this! Stay away! Ju, what are you doing? Ju, please! Stop it, Ju! Ju, no! Ju, no! Oh, please! Oh, please, sir, do something.
She's dying.
Governor Grayling to Hotel Whisky, code blue on G-Wing.
We need your assistance immediately, repeat, immediately.
She's dead, she's dead! The vicar! Someone stabbed her in the shower.
I've never seen so much blood.
What are you talking about? She's dead! She's been butchered! No! No! Don't die on me, Ju.
Don't you bleeding dare.
Jesus.
This is all my fault.
Of course it's not.
Yes, it is.
I should never have let that bloody performance happen.
We should seal off the whole corridor and wait for the police.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, ma'am.
Ma'am, we've found the killer.
Oh, God.
Where's that blood? Oh, Ju.
- Why don't you wait outside? - No, I've gotta stay with her.
- We're just in the way here.
Come on.
- Please, sir.
She's gonna be all right.
She'll be all right.
Just have faith.
I know what's going to happen.
They are gonna cancel the panto.
This is going to be one shit Christmas.
Poor old Och Aye Mackay.
It's a terrible shame.
Still, she believed in Heaven.
Must be nice up there at Christmas.
- What? - What did you do? Me? Nothing.
It was that Devil woman up there.
She shouldn't have been here in the first place.
She should have been locked up in a loony bin.
So what are you gonna do about Kerrigan? - Nothing.
- What? Not now.
That one's for next year.
Good.
Well, don't disappoint me.
You wouldn't like what happens.
Just monitor her blood pressure every 15 minutes.
How do you mean, she was seeing things? - Not so much things.
A person.
- Who? - A dead screw.
- Dead? Ju's been seeing his ghost.
Thought she was fighting him off or something with that knife.
I reckon she nicked it to protect herself.
So delusions, visions, much like when she first became ill.
Yeah.
Yet she'd been taking her medication.
What medication? What's that? Oh, Ju.
How are you feeling? Come in.
- Here, loads of them.
- Thanks.
Ju.
Her condition's stabilised.
She was very, very lucky, considering how deep it was and how much blood she lost.
Oh, mate.
Don't you ever do anything to me like that again, you hear? Lithium.
It's her essential medication.
No wonder her condition's been deteriorating.
Why'd you stop taking them pills, Ju? You heard what Doctor said, that's what's been sending you loopy.
Ju.
You should have seen the weight I put on with them things.
You are kidding.
You let yourself go barmy just to stay slim? It's not uncommon for someone who's not feeling great about themselves.
- I had an arse the size of Clapham.
- So how long since you last took one? Two weeks, maybe.
Sorry, Ju.
Well, from now on, someone's going to stand over you and make sure these things go down, arse the size of Clapham notwithstanding.
She was a nursery teacher.
Took a vanload of kids on a trip, fell asleep at the wheel, and six of them died.
Yeah, she got eight years for manslaughter, and for want of a better term, cracked up.
Total psychiatric meltdown.
Started to attack the other prisoners and eventually stabbed and killed an officer.
She became convinced that she was the Devil's daughter.
So she came from a secure psychiatric unit.
I mean, how the hell did she end up here? Well, Transport was meant to take her on to Brooklands.
Simple mistake.
Sometimes that's all it takes.
- What's this? - Open it.
It's from the Registry Office.
We've got an appointment for someone to come and talk to us about registering our partnership.
Are you sure? I've never been more sure about anything.
- There's one thing I want to ask you, though.
- What? Would you be happy being a legal guardian to Dylan? Be his second mum? What do you think? Should get this bloody framed.
Oh, Dumpy, why did Snow Black have to take that smack? Because she's a single mum, innit? And the pressure just got too much for her.
But it was only one little hit.
Yeah, but how was she to know it was a bad batch? And now she's dying.
Grumpy, can you hear that? What is it? Sounds like two plastic mugs banging together.
I think it's Prince Charming.
Oh, no, it's not.
Oh, yes, it is! Oh, no, it's not! Oh, yes, it is! It's Prince Charming! - Can I be of any assistance? - Yes, Your Highness.
If we are to save Snow Black from her coma, you are going to have to shag her like a dog with two dicks.
Oh, no, Grumpy.
Prince Charming doesn't do shagging.
What? No shagging? You are a man, aren't you? In a manner of speaking.
Oh, please help us, Prince Charming, by giving Darlene By giving Snow Black the kiss of life.
Of course.
Anything for the, um, beautiful Snow Black.
Me alive again! Thank you, Prince Charming! Thank you, Prince Charming! - Can I have me smack back now, please? - No, Grumpy.
Take a lesson from me.
You don't need drugs when you have love.
- You all right, Ju? - Yeah.
- Promise me you'll keep taking them pills, yeah? - Too bleeding right.
Don't wanna see Fenner floating around this place again.
Don't care how fat I get.
Encore! Encore!