Ballmastrz 9009 (2018) s01e01 Episode Script
A Shooting Star Named Gaz Digzy Falls Fast and Hard!
1
"Ballmastrz."
"A Shooting Star Named Gaz Digzy
Falls Fast & Hard!"
The most p-p-popular
sport in human history is back!
- Back!
- But b-b-before we go
to The Main Event,
let's remember
we play play the game!
History Blurp!
The Rad Warz!
What ha-ha-happened?!
The Rad Warz happened,
dumb-dumbs!
Raaaaaad.
They weren't "rad"!
They were bad!
Baaaaaa aaaahh!
A-After the Rad Warz
destroyed the world,
the Gr-Great One united us
and made us all pros!
Why fight in the real world
when you can get
r-rich and famous
doing it in The Game?
Because of it,
there will never be
another Rad War again!
W-W-We owe everything
to The Great One!
Tonight,
it's cha-champs versus chumps!
W-with superstar
Gaz Digzy's Boom Boom Boys!
Host the wor-wor-worst team
in the Consorcium,
Osaka Rinn's Leptons!
My whole life I've dreamed
of meeting my idol,
Gaz Digzy, and look at me now!
I'm not just meeting her,
I'm face-to-face playing
against her in The Game!
Am I dreaming?
Will somebody pinch me?!
Your towel skills are admirable,
Duleena Duneeda,
but a supple wrist is no match
for the hardened steel
that wields
the instrument
of your destruction!
Bring it on, stumpy!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Aaaaagghhhhh!
Hweugh-ahh!
If you put as much effort
into practicing
as you do goofing off,
we might actually
have a chance out there!
That's a joke, right?
We haven't won a game
since, like, ever.
Everyone knows we're
the worst team in The Game.
But we're playing
against Gaz Digzy!
Gaz Digzy!
There's so much
we can learn from her!
She's super-duper-times-100
amazing!
Digzy's the enemy! The enemy must
fear you before they respect you!
Stop kissing her ass,
you sniveling turd!
Don't yell at my sweet Ace.
Yaaaghh!
Only I can yell at my sweet Ace!
Across the Consorcium.
Fans and pros alike
are getting psyched to the bone
for the new season!
Here's what they have to say!
Boom Boom Boys?
Leptons?
Both pathetic against
my Bow Wow Watch Out Now!
Wind me up, boys!
♪♪
The Boom Boom Boys
will be victorious, no doubt!
But they will fall
with a heavy crash
when they meet The Centurions
in battle!
Let's go l-l-live
to the main event!
- I love you, Gaz Digzy!
- I love you, Gaz!
I arrive, my children!
The Supreme Susseran,
the Martial of the Meta Zone,
the Seats that Teach the Chi.
If you're ready for a game,
let me hear my name.
Quasar! Quasar!
Music to my ears!
Let's meet the teams!
From your home turf,
the Boom Boom Boys!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
And their opponents
All the way from the UG,
the Leptons!
Leptons suck!
At least they're not
throwing stuff at us again.
Ouch.
Today, we begin the new season
of the glorious Game!
Teams,
grab your Balls!
Ball Cannons
are locked and loaded
as we're moments away
from the start of the Game!
F-f-fact break, fact break,
fact break!
Back in ancient times,
Games were called sports
and they sucked!
There were too many of 'em!
And too many stupid rules!
Who wants to remember all
that complicated mumbo jumbo?
Sports suck!
That's why Quasar made it
nice and simple for you!
One game, two rules.
Use the Ball to kill,
use the Ball to score.
Thanks to The Game,
there's no more war!
Bingo!
And it's o-o-on!
Gaz Digzy leads the pack!
And it's looks like she'll make
the fir-fir-first receive
of the night!
Missed your sweet touch, babe.
'Sup, boo?
What a wanker.
I'm gonna knock
that ball's dick in the dirt!
You think one of you dipshits
could actually catch me
for a change?!
I got ya, Baby Ball!
Anybody but you, dipshit!
I got you, man.
Out of my way, dumb-ass!
I almost feel sorry
for these guys.
You're not goin' soft on me,
are you, cupcake?
Well, I said "almost."
Let's take 'em to pound town!
♪♪
And Digzy takes down
Leto for a dou-dou-double!
He'll be ch-ch-chillin'
in the P Cubes
with the official sp-sp-sponsors
of tonight's game, B.E.H.O.
Ad break! Ad break! Ad break!
B.E.H.O. ♪
"Ballmastrz."
"A Shooting Star Named Gaz Digzy
Falls Fast & Hard!"
The most p-p-popular
sport in human history is back!
- Back!
- But b-b-before we go
to The Main Event,
let's remember
we play play the game!
History Blurp!
The Rad Warz!
What ha-ha-happened?!
The Rad Warz happened,
dumb-dumbs!
Raaaaaad.
They weren't "rad"!
They were bad!
Baaaaaa aaaahh!
A-After the Rad Warz
destroyed the world,
the Gr-Great One united us
and made us all pros!
Why fight in the real world
when you can get
r-rich and famous
doing it in The Game?
Because of it,
there will never be
another Rad War again!
W-W-We owe everything
to The Great One!
Tonight,
it's cha-champs versus chumps!
W-with superstar
Gaz Digzy's Boom Boom Boys!
Host the wor-wor-worst team
in the Consorcium,
Osaka Rinn's Leptons!
My whole life I've dreamed
of meeting my idol,
Gaz Digzy, and look at me now!
I'm not just meeting her,
I'm face-to-face playing
against her in The Game!
Am I dreaming?
Will somebody pinch me?!
Your towel skills are admirable,
Duleena Duneeda,
but a supple wrist is no match
for the hardened steel
that wields
the instrument
of your destruction!
Bring it on, stumpy!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Aaaaagghhhhh!
Hweugh-ahh!
If you put as much effort
into practicing
as you do goofing off,
we might actually
have a chance out there!
That's a joke, right?
We haven't won a game
since, like, ever.
Everyone knows we're
the worst team in The Game.
But we're playing
against Gaz Digzy!
Gaz Digzy!
There's so much
we can learn from her!
She's super-duper-times-100
amazing!
Digzy's the enemy! The enemy must
fear you before they respect you!
Stop kissing her ass,
you sniveling turd!
Don't yell at my sweet Ace.
Yaaaghh!
Only I can yell at my sweet Ace!
Across the Consorcium.
Fans and pros alike
are getting psyched to the bone
for the new season!
Here's what they have to say!
Boom Boom Boys?
Leptons?
Both pathetic against
my Bow Wow Watch Out Now!
Wind me up, boys!
♪♪
The Boom Boom Boys
will be victorious, no doubt!
But they will fall
with a heavy crash
when they meet The Centurions
in battle!
Let's go l-l-live
to the main event!
- I love you, Gaz Digzy!
- I love you, Gaz!
I arrive, my children!
The Supreme Susseran,
the Martial of the Meta Zone,
the Seats that Teach the Chi.
If you're ready for a game,
let me hear my name.
Quasar! Quasar!
Music to my ears!
Let's meet the teams!
From your home turf,
the Boom Boom Boys!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
And their opponents
All the way from the UG,
the Leptons!
Leptons suck!
At least they're not
throwing stuff at us again.
Ouch.
Today, we begin the new season
of the glorious Game!
Teams,
grab your Balls!
Ball Cannons
are locked and loaded
as we're moments away
from the start of the Game!
F-f-fact break, fact break,
fact break!
Back in ancient times,
Games were called sports
and they sucked!
There were too many of 'em!
And too many stupid rules!
Who wants to remember all
that complicated mumbo jumbo?
Sports suck!
That's why Quasar made it
nice and simple for you!
One game, two rules.
Use the Ball to kill,
use the Ball to score.
Thanks to The Game,
there's no more war!
Bingo!
And it's o-o-on!
Gaz Digzy leads the pack!
And it's looks like she'll make
the fir-fir-first receive
of the night!
Missed your sweet touch, babe.
'Sup, boo?
What a wanker.
I'm gonna knock
that ball's dick in the dirt!
You think one of you dipshits
could actually catch me
for a change?!
I got ya, Baby Ball!
Anybody but you, dipshit!
I got you, man.
Out of my way, dumb-ass!
I almost feel sorry
for these guys.
You're not goin' soft on me,
are you, cupcake?
Well, I said "almost."
Let's take 'em to pound town!
♪♪
And Digzy takes down
Leto for a dou-dou-double!
He'll be ch-ch-chillin'
in the P Cubes
with the official sp-sp-sponsors
of tonight's game, B.E.H.O.
Ad break! Ad break! Ad break!
B.E.H.O. ♪