Batman s01e02 Episode Script

This is Gotham Air One reporting in.
Things are actually quiet for once.
- You see that? - What? I had a blip.
It just ghosted across my screen.
- I don't see anything.
- It was there.
Whatever it is must be right below us.
- There it is! - There what is? It looked like bat wings.
Bat wings? Okay, take us up through those clouds, just in case.
Sorry, kid.
There's nothing up here.
I swear, I saw it.
Something was flying around up here.
Testing, one, two, three.
Testing, one, two, three.
You, too, can fulfill the dream of being a high-paid radio personality in your spare time, just like me.
Just call Just call the Gotham institute of Broadcast Arts.
Yeah, that's better.
Call the Gotham Inst-- Get away! I didn't authorize this statement, detective.
Come on, commissioner, somebody asked me a couple of questions.
I just gave them a couple of answers.
You gave them without my approval.
If you kept quiet, he wouldn't know we're moving against him.
I'll find him.
- I need a little extra help, Your Honor.
- What kind of help? I want my own tactical squad for the sole purpose of throwing the net over this Batman.
- Commissioner? - I've already denied the request.
Nobody's taking a vigilante force onto my streets.
Your Honor, any nut case that dresses up like a bat sooner or later is gonna snap.
Listen, it's just not Batman's m.
o.
Oh, yeah? Tell that to the guy he tossed through the window.
I think we could spare a few men, commissioner.
Detective Bullock has a reputation for getting results.
I'm authorizing the strike force.
Anything else, detective? Just make sure the D.
A.
's office can give me an airtight case, sir.
If you catch him, Harvey, I'll put him in jail for you.
"Gotham Police Declare War on Batman.
" I gather you've been reading How to Make Friends and Influence People.
Somebody's setting me up.
My heavens, you mean it wasn't you tossing guards out of windows last night? I only toss butlers, Alfred.
Look, there were two very quiet burglaries at other pharmaceutical companies this week.
Nobody hurt like last night, but chemicals stolen.
And you suspect a pattern? Only one way to find out.
I'll cancel Master Bruce's rendezvous with Bambi, was it, sir? Yes, Alfred.
Do that.
Come here, you.
- He's back! - I'll call the police.
Calling Detective Bullock.
- Calling Detective Bullock.
- Yeah? The Batman's been sighted breaking into Phoenix Labs.
Thought you’d be interested.
I want my squad there, backed by choppers and as many officers as you can get, now! You're mine.
Call the Gotham Inst-- All right, you jokers.
Pipe down.
He's in there.
I want him by any means necessary.
Commissioner, you're just in time to see us hang this bat upside down.
You sure he's in there? The chopper pilots just spotted him on the fourth floor.
Well, he can't be two places at once.
Another pharmaceutical factory was just robbed across town.
- You've got the wrong suspect.
- What? There! Gas attack.
Put on your masks.
Hey, there he is! Well, somebody's in there, commissioner.
Call them off, Bullock, or I will.
The bat's gotta be in there, sir.
What do you think? - Tear gas? - We'll smoke him out.
Okay, men, ready with your masks.
The Gotham Zoo tour tram departs in 5 minutes.
Adventures in Chiropterae at the bat exhibit will begin in 30 minutes.
Hello.
Anybody here? Dr.
March? Who is it? Bruce Wayne.
I have an appointment.
I called about a bat problem.
- What do you think we are, pest control? - Well, I just need-- - Yes, yes.
Come in.
- Why, thank you, doctor.
You donate a few million, and you think you own the place.
I understand I'm to analyze something for you.
Yeah, doc.
See, I keep hearing squeaks in my chimney.
And I found these in my empty fireplace.
They look like hairs.
I thought maybe you could tell me if I have a bat problem.
And what if they are bats, Mr.
Wayne? What then? Destroy them like insects? We won't survive the next evolutionary cataclysm, but bats will.
They're survivors, Mr.
Wayne, not pests.
You should understand that! Dad! I hope Mr.
Wayne understands you mean no disrespect.
Of course not, Ms? Missus.
Well, actually, doctor.
I'm Francine Langstrom.
I think you spoke with my husband on the phone.
Oh, Mr.
Wayne, I'm sorry I'm late.
I'm Kirk Langstrom.
- Did you bring the sample? - I gave it to Dr.
Mar-- - Where'd he go? - Probably to get started on the analysis.
If it's a bat problem, we'll know by tonight.
Dad was lecturing Mr.
Wayne on the virtues of Chiroptera.
- Chiropte-what? - Chiroptera, bats.
And I hope he didn't get carried away.
He's a little protective of all this.
I think he likes bats better than people.
I can't imagine.
I brought you this too.
It's a recording I made of the noise in my chimney.
That doesn't sound like any bat I've ever heard, Mr.
Wayne.
The animal behavior people have a sound library.
Maybe they can identify it.
We'll let you know.
I'd appreciate it.
I didn't realize you'd taken up listening to rock 'n' roll, sir.
You know, I actually did check this against any musical sounds.
Computer still can't come close to pinpointing it.
Wayne Manor.
One moment, please.
A call for Master Bruce from a Dr.
March.
Hey, what's up, doc? You have bats, Mr.
Wayne, common brown bats.
They won't be a problem.
As the weather gets colder, they'll leave.
- What about the sound on the tape? -It's actually two sounds starlings and brown bats, probably fighting over a nest in your chimney.
Appreciate the help, doc.
I'll return the favor next time you're raising funds.
Bye-bye.
This computer checked that fiber against every animal species known to man.
I went to them because I thought they might know something we didn't.
That hair wasn't a brown bat's.
And those melodic sounds? Computer, check against combined sounds, starlings and brown bats.
Negative.
Sounds not originated by either species.
I would say, sir, that we have ourselves an incongruity.
Incongruity, Alfred? He's lying.
And I'm gonna find out why.
Can't fight it.
It's got me.
Who's back there? - You.
- I'm looking for Dr.
March.
He's not here, Batman.
- Where is he? - Giving a lecture on human extinction and bat evolution.
He's really quite brilliant.
He's misguided and a thief.
He's just a theorist.
He was afraid to put it to the test.
But I wasn't.
I knew we'd discovered a formula to create a totally new species neither man nor bat.
And once I started taking it, I couldn't stop.
I desperately wanted to, but it took over.
Francine and March tried to protect me, but it was too late.
The beast knew what chemicals were needed to bring itself about.
It was out of my control.
And it only needs one more component to complete the process.
It's in me, Batman.
Kirk! I'm getting something strange.
Oh, not again.
I'm serious.
It's right below us.
Gotham Command, we need choppers.
We've sighted the Batman! - Let's go.
- I can't do it, sir.
What do you mean, you can't? I just got word not to let you up without the commissioner.
- Who told you that? - The commissioner! Get out, detective.
The mayor may not let me fire you, but I'm not taking the heat for your fiascoes.
This is my case, commissioner.
You heard the mayor.
Then why don't you take it up with him? I've got a job to do.
If you wanna tag along, fine.
Take her up, lieutenant.
Hey, wait for me! - There he is.
- There they are.
- What is that thing? - That thing is what we're after.
Holy-- Two for dinner, sir? I got a list of all the items stolen from the chemical labs.
Who would've thought they'd be used to create a monster? Maybe I can undo the fate Langstrom has brought upon himself.
Does it appear feasible, sir? I think so.
Is he all right? - Will he change again? - No, the formula's out of his system.
It's over, for now.