Batman (1966) s02e05 Episode Script

The Minstrel's Shakedown (1)

NARRATOR".
A calm afternoon on the floor of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
And in boardrooms throughout the country.
But what's this? This can't be happening.
I'm wiped out.
I made a fortune today.
My only problem now is whether to buy amalgamated or consolidated.
Cortland, you're the president of the exchange, what do you make of this? I don't know.
I've never seen anything like it before.
And while it's true the stock exchange has had some wild days in the past never in its history has there been anything comparable to this day.
It began shortly after 2:00.
At that time Good afternoon, my friends.
Where did he come from? Who is that? A helpful Minstrel I When I see folks in trouble Then I come on the double With counsel both soothing and wise With counsel both soothing and wise Ooh.
Isn't he attractive? So gentlemanly.
For fair remuneration I'll wipe the tears from your eyes I'll wipe the tears from your eyes - Is he talking to us? -Apparently.
This message is for members of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
Gentlemen, salvation is available.
The Minstrel's Friendly Stock Brokers Protective Association would guarantee you immunity from a repetition of today's calamity.
How thoughtful.
I'm sure you'll agree the fee is reasonable for the protection provided.
$1000 per week per stock exchange member.
That's blackmail.
Make your checks payable to account number 007 and airmail them each week to the Broccoli Bank in Geneva, Switzerland.
I'll expect notice of your agreement to this in tomorrow's Gotham City Times.
Let me emphasize that 100 percent participation is essential.
- That's a quarter of a million dollars.
-We'll fight him.
Call a TV station.
TV station, nonsense.
I'm calling Commissioner Gordon.
What are you gonna do, commissioner? There's only one thing we can do.
Commissioner Gordon.
Yes, indeed.
I have the same thought.
But who was that? That was Mr.
Brook Cortland.
President of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
I shall alert him to your call, sir.
-It's the-- -I suspected.
We were watching, Commissioner Gordon.
We'll be right there.
To the Batpoles.
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed.
Ready to move out.
A minstrel who is also an electronic genius.
- What a strange combination.
-Not at all, commissioner.
Music and electronic energy are both transmitted by waves.
Which obey almost identical laws of nature.
A logical pursuit for a musician with a twisted criminal mind.
Of course, Batman, you are right.
I wouldn't have thought of that.
Commissioner.
- Oh, Mr.
Cortland.
- Commissioner.
Batman, this is Mr.
Cortland.
President of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
Glad to know you.
I think we have a mutual friend, that upstanding philanthropist Bruce Wayne.
Yes, I've heard him mention your name.
And of course, Robin, the Boy Wonder.
- How do you do? -How do you do? What happened here this afternoon? The quotations going out over the Trans-Lux went completely wild.
Some high, some low, but none right.
Orders started pouring in at the false prices and it was, well, it was just a disaster.
Do all the quotations go out over a single transmitter? - Yes.
- Hm.
We better check that installation.
Who is this Minstrel? Where did he come from? How did he get on the TV program? The station has no explanation at all.
Apparently, he simply overrode the signal from the studio to the transmitter with a stronger one.
I don't know anything about this man but I intend to know more about him before we're through.
Would you show us the transmission room in the exchange building? Of course.
Could your secretary place a call for me, commissioner? Bonnie.
My name is Putnam, Batman.
Something I can do for you? - And my name is Cortland.
-Sorry, Mr.
Cortland.
I didn't see you.
- Go right ahead, Batman.
-The transmitter seems perfectly in order.
-It's been constant since we had to shut down.
-Did technicians check the coding circuits? - At all levels? -Yes.
However, I'd like to see them for ourselves.
By all means.
This way.
The circuits are in here.
Holy transistor's bill.
What an installation.
Have you seen anything suspicious, Batman? - Hey, look-- No, Robin.
Everything seems to be perfectly in order.
No signs of tampering.
I told you he wouldn't catch it, Octavia.
I guess we 'll just have to keep looking.
Right, Batman? Yes, Robin.
We'll just have to keep looking.
He does have a warm, attractive voice, doesn't he? So what? He's still a second-rate genius.
You're just like all the women, Octavia.
Taken in by his phony mystique and his-- His warm, attractive voice.
Don't complain.
I'm pretty taken in by your warm, attractive voice too, you know.
Ohh, well, that's better.
Ha-ha-ha.
Thank you, Mr.
Putnam.
You can return to your duties.
Some of the circuits definitely have been tampered with, gentlemen.
And I wouldn't be surprised if he planted a microphone in the installation too.
So he could listen in on anybody checking it.
How devious and brilliant.
Exactly.
This Minstrel could present one of the most deadly threats we've ever had to deal with.
The devil you say.
How do you wish to proceed, Batman? That depends on how he proceeds.
If he thinks no one is wise to him, he may be back.
And we'll be waiting for him.
Just tell me how many men you'll need, Batman.
None.
The slightest suspicion that it's a trap could scare him off.
Sure, and it could at that.
Oh, that stick in the head, that is.
As always, we'll play it however you wish but we can't help being concerned about you.
- Commissioner Gordon, after Penguin -And Archer.
-Clock King -And King Tut and Catwoman.
and all our other artful adversaries I don't think we'll have too much of a problem with this Minstrel.
- Dinner time, sir.
-Ah.
A peanut butter and watercress sandwich and a glass of milk would have been sufficient, Alfred.
-I know, sir.
But I can't help worrying about the two of you occasionally.
The long hours, the meals you often miss.
I hate to see this dual life you're both leading taking its toll.
Robin and I still have a few good years left.
However, I do appreciate your concern.
We'll dine in a moment, Alfred.
But first, I'd like to get the kinks out of this bug.
Kinks out of the bug, sir? It's a bugging device with which we hope to trap our latest adversary, Alfred.
Oh.
Would that be the Minstrel, sir? Yes, it is indeed, Alfred.
You've heard of him, then? Oh, Gotham City's heard of him, sir.
He seems to have most of the women swooning over his so-called gentlemanly charm.
And most of the men in a state of panic.
Including, if I maybe allowed the personal reference, myself.
- You, Alfred? -In panic? Well, I have managed to save a tidy little sum on the side and made what I hope are some wise investments on the stock market.
You too, Alfred, wiped out by the Minstrel? No.
Not exactly wiped out, Master Robin.
I did manage to go down to the stock exchange this morning while you two were in town and it certainly is chaos.
Yes.
Chaos.
Whatever do you suppose the rascal's up to, sir? What he told all of Gotham City via his TV jamming device blackmail or calamity but we intend to prevent both.
And how do you intend to trap the culprit? If I may be so inquisitive, sir.
I suspect he planted a microphone in the transmissions room of the stock exchange building.
And tonight, he'll be back to check on it.
So we fight fire with fire.
We plant a microphone and we check on it.
There's one thing that worries me.
Getting back into that building without being noticed.
I'm sure that can be handled.
- Yes, Batman.
- Commissioner.
Could you arrange with Mr.
Cortland for Robin and me to return to the corridor outside the transmission room tonight? I'm sure he'll cooperate, Batman.
And perhaps find us an isolated office for a short time.
You mean a temporary hideout? I can't go into details, commissioner.
I'm sure you understand.
I'll contact Mr.
Cortland at once, Batman.
But let me repeat now.
Please, please be careful.
Who knows what devious tricks this evil balladeer maybe up to.
You have my assurance.
"A Wandering Minstrel.
" - That's the same tune he sang on TV.
-Right, Robin.
- You think it could be some kind of signal? -Yes, it could, old chap.
Let's take a look.
Easy now.
Oh.
Oh! Do you always sneak up on people like that? No.
That's okay.
You here kind of early, aren't you? So you were expecting us.
Are you kidding? They told me to expect a new replacement.
I just didn't know there'd be two of you.
Anyhow, you got here.
Glad you wore your old clothes.
This jam is a mess.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Holy rainbow.
I'm blinded.
An ingenious device.
Good night, Batman Good night, Robin Good night, Batman I'm going to leave you now Ha-ha-ha! I don't understand.
How could he have gotten away? Commissioner, we were half blinded by Minstrel's electronic flashes.
Ah-ha! Ah.
Apparently, we interrupted him before he could remove the last of these.
You mean that tiny thing caused all the trouble? Yes.
And there was one for each number's circuit of course.
What is it? A heterodyning counter-oscillator would be my guess and a marvel of miniaturization.
-Mm.
To confuse the frequency.
So each number has to come out anything but right.
Commissioner, all Gotham City is in danger while this musical criminal is at large.
He exhibits a degree of electronic sophistication far beyond anyone in the world today.
He exhibits a degree of electronic sophistication far beyond that of anyone else in this world today.
Except me of course.
If, as I suspect, he spotted the counter-oscillators by now he knows the place was bugged.
Smarter than you thought he was.
You're absolutely right, my dear.
He must be eliminated after all.
We can count on him to come to us.
All we have to do is be certain we're ready.
Well, how do you mean you can count on him? He's waiting for me to go on the air again, Bass.
So he can use our signal to lead him to us.
So we'll work from the studio, not here.
See that it's ready, Treble.
But how can he use our signal? Unless he's a bird.
The beam is so narrow, he can't even pick it up on the ground.
He'll work out some way, you can bet on that.
Fascinating bird, sir.
What is it? It's a Batdrone plane, Alfred.
We can direct it from here by remote control.
Direct it? Yes, if the Minstrel goes on the air again and I suspect he will, if only to taunt me I think this bird should pick up his wavelength.
- And locate his broadcasting studio.
- Mm.
There we are.
Robin, let's test the drone.
That could be the studio signal.
Raise the level.
That's it.
Perfect.
The Minstrel may be in for a surprise.
I believe you're right, sir.
Here comes the brazen fellow.
I've offered the brokers a fair way out but as yet they haven't accepted that plan.
In status that driven to mistrust and doubt they've turned for help to Robin and Batman.
The audacity of it.
Getting anything? The Batdrone's changed course.
It's pick up the studio signal, all right.
But I foiled the dauntless duo before.
With nothing more startling than a spark and a flash.
And though violence is something I strongly abhor I warned them that next time they'll land with a crash.
-It's descending, Batman.
-At what angle? - Eleven degrees, four minutes.
-Eleven degrees, four minutes.
Well, that should put the plane down somewhere over Gotham Park Lake.
At the intersection of Willow and Fourth Street.
There's nothing there, Batman.
Except the old Willow Street Warehouse.
That must be it.
It's been a long night.
It's going to be a big day.
Let's get going.
Alfred, bring the plane back.
- Me, sir? -Yes.
- Throw the Batdrone retriever switch.
Oh! We can be expecting the Caped Crusaders any minute now.
- This early, boss? -You can bet they've picked up the signal.
They're on their way.
Just be sure we're ready.
Cameras all set, Treble? I just love suspense like this.
Well, it's too bad, the suspense will soon be over, Octavia.
Look, no door knobs.
I know.
This must be the place.
And the broadcasting studio is probably on the top floor.
Stand clear.
Up we go.
All right, men.
Alert the boys in the storeroom and put Plan Low C into action.
What a pity, Robin that a man of his musical talents, who could bring such pleasure to millions of people should pervert that genius to criminal antisocial ends.
Especially when he could earn a good living from just records.
- Look.
That open window, shall we try it? -Yes, Robin.
The opportunity well-taken is always a weapon of advantage.
Be careful.
It may be a trap.
It is a trap.
Pow! Wham! Look at the Dynamic Duo.
They are efficient, aren't they? Do you think they'll win, Minstrel? Holy fly trap.
You're making a mistake, Minstrel.
With your genius, you could be a tremendous force for good in the world.
Why waste it? I was regretting the necessity of doing away with you, Batman.
A kindred genius, you know.
But if there's anything I can't abide, it's a reformer.
Activate the turnspit motor.
Motor activated.
In just a few minutes, gentlemen we'll be prepared to serve barbecued crusader if we have a call for it.
You see, we've installed just beneath you, super units of a radar type grill.
As you revolve, it can turn you from rare to medium to well done.
Depending on the preference.
Throw the switch.
Switch is set.
Holy hot spot, Batman.
What can we do? Nothing, Boy Wonder.
Nothing but cook.
Are you sure this is a good idea, Minstrel? Good? It's perfect.
Besides, my dear, there's no alternative.
It's Batman or the Minstrel.
The world isn't ready for both of us yet.
Heh, heh.
Batman and Robin Rotate and revolve As the heat grows Your bodies dissolve When it's still hotter Then you will melt Nothing left but your utility belt Is this it, Batman? Is this the end? If it is, Robin let's not lose our dignity.

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