Batman (1966) s02e06 Episode Script

Barbecued Batman? (2)

We have already seen chaos on the stock exchange.
Extortion.
This gentle minstrel is a threat? You bet.
How to trace him? Perhaps by this ingenious bird.
Affirmative.
How to gain entry? But it's a trap.
Batman prepares for another trap.
Not a trap door.
And a rotating spit.
Rare, medium, well done? While a musical monster supplies his accompaniment.
Can the Dynamic Duo survive this? Are they and their goose to be permanently cooked? Hang on and find out in just one sizzling minute.
Batman and Robin rotate and revolve As the heat mounts You'll lose all resolve In a few minutes, we will be prepared To leave you here cooking and exit this lair I've about had it, Batman.
I know.
Try to hang on, old chum.
- What's that? -Sounded like an explosion.
Well, let's find out.
It's the Bat Bombs I planted.
It caused the distraction I needed.
If we could just shake this turnspit pole and snap.
Looks like we've been bombed, boss.
Obviously a diversionary tactic, let's get back down to quarters.
Our barbecue chef will be right back.
Let's surprise him.
Minstrel, they're gone.
Now.
Holy fireworks.
Look.
A wandering minstrel I And now's the time to wander To give me time to ponder For my men have gotten their lumps I don't indulge in fisticuffs or vulgar brawling I hear far places calling I'll come back when I hold all the trumps I'll come back when I hold all the trumps I have yet to admit defeat, Robin but I do find him somewhat frustrating.
-At least we've captured his headquarters.
His headquarters, but certainly not his broadcasting studio nor his henchmen, apparently.
- Let's go after them.
-No, Robin.
Why bother with riffraff, it's the Minstrel we want.
He may've taken some of the wind out of my sails with that murderous barbecue-- Some but not all.
Hello, I'm Octavia.
Your purse.
I didn't mean that.
I mean, I surrender.
That's hardly necessary.
Just from looking at you, I'm sure your presence here is innocent.
Appearances are deceiving, Batman.
Appearances, perhaps.
Instinct, seldom.
That's nice.
You're nice.
I think I might like it better being on your side.
It's always a satisfactory feeling knowing you're on the side of right, Octavia.
I wasn't talking about right.
I know.
- Are you taking me in? -Where? - Why? -Thank you, Batman.
Perhaps some other time, some other place.
I hope so.
Then goodbye for now.
You're letting her go? Well, I admit she's gorgeous, Batman, but what did she have the others didn't? Well, Robin, for one thing, she has a tracking device which I just placed in her handbag.
But Batman found the heterodyning counter oscillator that was planted by the Minstrel.
We're not after bugs.
We're after the Minstrel himself and he walked out of the stock-exchange building as free as a bird.
- What are you trying to say, Chief O'Hara? -We haven't heard from the Caped Crusader.
And the Minstrel's been on the air with another warning.
He also warned Batman.
Or could it be some kind of a signal? Have you the temerity to imply that Batman was working with the Minstrel? I don't want to imply it, but mother machree, commissioner what do we really know about Batman and Robin? Two-- Two masked figures.
Two voices on the telephone.
Whence did they come? Whither do they go? Whence and whither be dashed, Chief O'Hara.
Isn't it enough to know they're saviors of Gotham City? Ahh.
And helped out from time to time from a department of which I am the chief, may I add.
You may not.
As a matter of fact, I have a darn good mind to-- - Yes, Batman? -I would've called you sooner but I have nothing tangible to report.
I still don't.
As a matter of fact, we were a little concerned.
And rightly so, Minstrel is tricky and cunning.
But I would like to assure you now that Robin and I won't rest until he's safely behind bars for good.
Would you pass that on to your stalwart co-fighter in crime, Chief O'Hara? Uh, yes, indeed, Batman.
Now, Chief O'Hara.
It's hard for a proud man like meself to ask forgiveness and to admit mistakes but Commissioner Gordon I was foolish and wrong, and I'm sorry.
Spoken like the upstanding gentleman and officer of the law that all Gotham City has come to love and admire, Chief O'Hara.
To defame the Dynamic Duo, even by implication is both unjust and reprehensible.
They are the guardian angels of this city.
Those two masked figures those two voices on the telephone.
What do you think the boss is gonna do? I don't know.
He's pretty angry.
Yeah.
He sure hates to lose.
What happened? Didn't Batman take you to jail? No, of course not.
As a matter of fact, he was very considerate.
- Very nice.
- I'm sure.
Well, he was.
He's quite a gentleman.
- Think you've got it? -Pretty close.
- Shall we send the Bat-drone Plane again? -That won't be necessary, Robin.
Minstrel, you don't really have to be so drastic.
Batman's reasonable, maybe you could make a deal with him.
A deal? Me, make a deal with that paragon of propriety.
That righteous reformer, that enemy of enterprise that thorn in my flesh? Never.
Anyhow, he wouldn't do it.
What gave you that idea anyhow? You must've had a very cozy little chat with Batman or should I say, warm, intimate.
He was a perfect gentleman, I tell you.
I see what you meant when you said she was special.
What did you say? I said he was a perfect gentleman.
Ha! That's what the perfect gentleman was doing when he was being so considerate - bugging your purse.
-Why, that spy.
That spy fink.
That does it.
Listen to me, Batman.
We go to plan High C.
Oh no, boss.
Not plan High C.
What if it gets out of control? Yeah.
It could bring the whole world down.
The world? Holy cosmos.
That's a big order, Robin.
Who cares? So what? It's their world.
Here me again, Batman.
You thought you were being so very clever bugging the lady's purse to track down the location of this studio.
Well, better than finding my studio I suggest you might want details of my plan, High C.
Join your broker friends in the conference room of the stock exchange in exactly 30 minutes, and I wouldn't be late.
Have Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara and Mr.
Cortland too.
I'm sure they'll find it most interesting.
Over and out.
I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
It's Mrs.
Cooper.
She was quite concerned when you were away last night.
I trust you supplied her with a plausible excuse, Alfred.
I did my best, sir.
But could you tell me, perhaps, when you will be home? We have a brief stop first, we're trying to prevent-- The end of the world.
End of the world? - Is it time yet? -Close.
One minute, 45 seconds.
What do you think he'll do, Batman? I wish I could guess.
Maybe we should've gone along with him from the first.
You mean give into blackmail? That's ruin.
- What is it if we don't? -You suppose he's bluffing? I wouldn't count on it.
- What's that? -What's what? I don't know, but look.
And the chandelier.
The whole room be going.
It's an earthquake.
What's happening, Batman? Nothing's shaking.
It's not an earthquake.
It's the Minstrel.
- It stopped.
-What--? How could it have happened, Batman? How did he do it? I don't know how he did it.
I do know what he did.
He must've determined the frequency of this building using the ventilating shafts as resonant chambers he generated a corresponding frequency.
I see.
The same way a singer can shatter a crystal glass by hitting its resonant note, right? Right.
Precisely, Robin.
It's called "sympathetic vibration.
" Of course, that would be a high note.
His must've been subsonic.
Impossible for the human ear to detect.
Too low.
Then if he hadn't stopped, the building would've shaken itself apart.
- Right.
-That means he could-- Batman, everybody.
He's on the air.
Well, gentlemen, how did you like the sample? - And now, this message.
- He's so suave.
I am the Minstrel And a mastermind I'm a modern genius crook In electronics, I cannot be surpassed And that's why your building shook To my terms you must agree Or vibration, consternation, desolation Throughout the nation Accept my terms or there will be Irreversible calamity You have until nightfall To prevent a frightful downfall Here are the terms.
One: The certified checks made out as you were instructed will be turned over to Commissioner Gordon.
Two: Commissioner Gordon will deliver them to my men when I so request.
Three: Announcement of your agreement to this will be made on this channel at 6 o'clock sharp or the stock exchange becomes a pile of rubble.
And there is nothing Batman can do to stop it.
Remember, 6 o'clock sharp.
- We've got to do it.
-We can't do it.
Are you mad? He means it.
Yes, but a quarter million dollars a week? - Is there any alternative, Batman? -There just may be, commissioner.
It's not true, gentlemen, that your building will inevitably be disintegrated.
For no matter what exotic and brilliant devices the Minstrel's installed, he cannot operate without power.
Holy kilowatts, of course.
- Cut off the power.
-How simple.
Not so simple, to locate all the circuits in this building and connect them to one master switch in the allotted time.
But it can be done.
Then at the first sign of vibration, you just throw the switch? Marvelous.
What if he does something else? We can't risk it.
If you knuckle under to this extortionist now do you think he'll stop at a quarter million a week? - He may demand anything.
-That's it, Robin.
Gentlemen, even at the risk of seeing this entire neighborhood collapse under your feet would you spend the rest of your lives in the shadow living in subservience to this rascally ruthless tyrant? Go ahead, Batman we'll stand fast.
Good.
I'll need your building engineer and your entire electrical crew.
You have them, Batman.
We'll assemble here before 6 o'clock, with our board of governors.
More here than I expected.
Blind faith in the Batman, I guess.
Well, the way I see it, if Batman can't help us there's no hope anyhow.
Oh.
Oh, there he is now.
- Everything's set.
-I think so.
- That the open line? -That's it.
Good.
This is Batman.
Are the switches ready? - Ready, Batman.
-Good.
Standby.
- We made it.
-And in the nick of time.
Light the candles.
- Do you think he might change his mind? -No chance.
Time.
- Throw the switches.
-Right.
Wait.
What's that? Look at the chandelier.
- Turn it off.
-I can't.
He's broadcasting.
Here he is.
Do I have you attention? Batman, your world will tumble down, Just wait and see Your city will disintegrate, It matters not to me Batman's and Robin's strength Will not avail no matter what they do They're bound to fail They can't evade my sonic beam And they'll become a vapor trail Which should be evident to the most obtuse by now, I think.
However, there's still time to change your minds though not much.
If you wish my protection, simply say so, I'll get the word.
But I'm warning you, do not delay.
- He's got us.
-Batman has obviously failed.
- We've got to do it.
-All right.
We give up.
You've got a deal, Minstrel.
Well, at least we're still alive in spite of this devious devil.
But for what? To knuckle under to the scoundrel all our lives? Fortunately, that won't be necessary.
- What? -That is correct.
For, as it happens, gentlemen we have located Minstrel.
- Just a minute.
-That's the Minstrel? That nice looking young man? But how can he be here in this room and on TV at the same time? - It was a prerecording.
-This is ridiculous.
- We knew he'd be here.
-To signal a cutoff.
Why destroy a 10 million dollar building belonging to people he wanted money from? We went through with it so he would suspect-- But I'm not the Minstrel.
All right, Batman.
You asked for it.
Bass, Treble.
All the rest of you.
It won't work, Minstrel.
We're wearing our Particle Bat Accelerator units.
To create an anti-charge and deflect your static bolts.
So there's no way out, Minstrel.
All right, Chief O'Hara.
You can take him away.
And this time, Minstrel, no song, please.
I don't think you'd be doing any singing in public for a long, long time.
Come along, you.
Good evening.
Late this evening that melodic master of crime who, earlier, came within a tremble of subjugating all of Gotham City is now on his way to the city jail thanks, once again, to our savior Batman.
You may be interested to know that bail has been denied.
However, before he is incarcerated we have been granted this exclusive interview.
Oh, look.
They've arrested that charming man.
REPORTER".
Tell me, Minstrel Man.
Due to the fact that you have been defeated by the Dynamic Duo despite your electronic genius do you have any plans in your future for crime? Why, yes.
As a matter of fact, I have.
Wait till the jail break Batman You've not seen the last of me I'll clobber you and Robin Wait and see You'll vibrate both together I'll shake off your heads Oh, just you wait Till the jail break Batman You'll be dead Uh Thank you very much, Mr.
Minstrel Man.
And ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our program for tonight.
Take him out.
Now.
Surely a man with such a voice can't be all bad.
Perhaps he can learn to make an honest living when he comes out of prison.
If only someone would help.
Commissioner Gordon is a friend of yours, isn't he? Why, yes, he is, Aunt Harriet.
In a way.
And even though Minstrel might sneer at such a suggestion I will bring it to his attention.
Who knows? It just might work.

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