Best Friends Forever (2012) s01e05 Episode Script
Hey Nonny Nonny
1 So take me through the flow of this open house.
So I'm the parent of an eight-year-old little girl Walked by this dance studio, I don't know, a thousand times.
Yeah, but what is this, an open house? Yes, please.
I come into this space.
- Stunning.
- Gorgeous.
Exposed brick, are you kidding? I hand them a pamphlet.
So much helpful information.
You shove a baby quiche in their mouth, they sit down, the kids get up.
Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle And then enrollment in my dance studio.
Goes through the roof.
Done and done.
Guys, I did a varmint scare.
What is a varmint scare? A varmint scare's when I go up to the roof and scream around for all the varmints.
- Mm, 'course.
- What'd you find? We might have a situation.
- What? - There's a homeless guy been keeping his birds up there.
Both: Ew.
So obviously we need to pull up the ladder, but that breaks my heart because No, he'll never see his birds again we cannot do that.
Okay, why don't we just put a tarp down? I think that would show a lot of compassion.
Guys, can I just in this moment right now Can you not cry right now? Tell you how amazing you are for helping me? Oh, Lennon, you have cried five times.
It is only 11:00 A.
M.
, okay.
- But this is my dream.
Oh, I'm sorry, I must be lost.
Or am I In heaven? Ken, oh, I thought you were on tour! Appears you were mistaken, madam.
Both: We can dance among the flowers While we while away the hours In the dewy morning glow With a hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho [Laughing.]
Oh, my God.
It's Ken.
[Laughing.]
Best Friends Forever - 01x05 - "Hey Nonny Nonny".
Original air date: 01.
06.
2012.
Ken, what are you doing here? I you never wrote me back.
Well, Lennon, how many times have we spoken, and I'm on tour, you're busy? Suddenly, I get an invite to your open house, I'm in New York.
I'm not emailing back.
I'm popping in.
[Laughing.]
So, how do you guys know each other? Oh, babe, this is Ken.
Ken Haskins? Remember when I studied abroad in London, Ken was with the national ballet.
Okay, Ken Haskins, right.
Len showed me the PBS thing that you did.
Very athletic.
Oh, thank you.
Ken, I just have to say congratulations on all of your successes.
You are remarkably sweet.
Ken Haskins.
Oh, Ken, it's Jessica.
It's okay you remember? I visited Lennon for two weeks when she was in London? We all went out together, like, every night.
- Yeah.
- It was so many good times.
Oh, yes, of course.
That sounds familiar.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Oh, no worries, it happens.
Not usually to me, but Now about this open house, I did have one little question: - Oh, yeah.
Why haven't you asked me to dance? What are you talking about? The open house.
I am dancing.
Shut up.
You would do that for me? Now there is just one requirement, and I'm afraid it's non-negotiable.
- Anything.
- You're dancing with me.
No, Ken, uh-uh.
I do not perform anymore.
It'll look like you're dragging around an old sack of potatoes.
Oh, then it was a good thing I've been working out.
- [Giggling.]
- Unless, of course, you don't want London's preeminent choreographer dancing at your open house.
You should do it, Len.
It would get butts in seats.
All right, I'm doing it.
Splendid.
Both: With a hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho And a hey-nonny-nonny oops, sorry.
You were done.
Cool.
How's that brain explosion working for you? 'Cause I can add more brain.
Are you kidding? I can taste the brain.
Don't fill up, 'cause I need you to test two more levels.
It was so good to see Ken.
So good.
I felt like I was 20 years old again.
You know what? Europe in the late 90s, that was just a magical time.
And what it was for me, really, was that I first felt like a real woman.
- Well, we were.
- I mean, men were noticing me.
Lennon, we were women.
- Remember those discotheques? - Oh, yeah.
We would step on the floor, and it was like sharks to the kill.
- Boom.
- Crotch-to-crotch with every guy from Norway, Croatia, you name it.
Sweden, Greece, the Ukraine.
Guys, I can hear you.
Those European men, they just really got me.
- Oh, got us good.
- They got you? Well, no, they didn't get me.
They got me.
Although, this one I did some getting.
And some gotting, if you know what I mean.
Things were different in Spain, though, right? - Yeah.
- Little looser.
Little wilder.
We didn't use - Yeah.
- I mean Those guys run from bulls, so they're not afraid to put it in your [explosion sound.]
- Ooh.
- Okay.
Can you guys please take it to another room? I'm on with Rav.
- Hey, Rav.
- Rav.
Rav knows what I'm talking about - Hey, Rav.
- Just a little bit of [Disco music vocalizations.]
Hey, ladies.
All right, please get out of here, come on.
Get too turned on, I get it.
- I'm working.
- What's happening in there? Ah, they're just all worked up about Ken Haskins.
You don't think I need to worry about that guy, right? Big gay Haskins? No, I don't think you need to worry.
You're a disgrace to the rebellion, cadet.
What was that? What did you press? - I hit space bar.
- Son of a bitch.
That is the wrong voice.
You're supposed to hear the voice of a little girl.
I must've lost the audio.
Well, can't you just rerecord it? I can't I don't have time.
I need to finish this before the conference, and I can't get that child actor back.
Oh, you know who'd be great? Dakota Fanning.
Rav She's practically a woman now.
Tell me about it.
Then I chaines out into an arabesque? Yeah, but remember, lamb, we've got to fill eight beats there.
- Oh, sorry.
- All right? How 'bout inside rond dejambe Okay.
Step contretemps, then into your arabesque.
Of course, I'll be there to catch - Yes.
- And - Oh, good, yeah - Yeah, lovely Oh, looking good, guys.
Oh, man, you know what this reminds me of? That dance we crashed at Oxford.
Do you remember that, Ken? You were wearing that silk cravat, and we were dancing to the Cranberries? Sounds like me, you're saying it's you, so it must be us.
Guys, we just got 12 more RSVPs.
Ken, you're blowing it up.
Oh, please.
Actually, Jess, while I have you.
- Yeah.
- You know what would be great as a set would be a river, um, wooden, maybe elizabethan in style, perhaps with some tin accents.
I think tin has a nice scintillant quality.
Scintillant.
Okay, that's a word I'll be googling Actually, you know what has a terrific amount of tin? - Where is that? - Chinatown.
Oh, well, text me the address, I'm on it.
You know, my team is on hiatus this week.
They have a set.
If it would be helpful, they could just bring it in and erect it.
Oh, no.
I can erect whatever needs erecting.
My crew can handle that.
You have a crew? Do I have a crew? I have a crew, 'kay? Is that really a river? I feel like we might need more waves.
You're welcome, by the way, for helping you.
Oh, thank you, Rav.
Man, I didn't know you were gonna be so needy.
Well, I am.
I require constant affirmation.
- Hey, Jess.
- Hey.
Do you know where the boom box is? I'm trying to run the kids through their dance.
Yeah, at reception.
I was dusting to a little Dirty Diana.
Hey, Naya, you mind grabbing me that hammer over there? There's a hammer right here.
- Here you go.
- Nice tattoo.
Oh, thanks.
It's a Zen gate.
Represents openness.
Must've hurt like hell.
You're so thin.
I got one on my shoulder.
Is that a bat? It's actually the hopi symbol for intuition.
I got it when I was, uh, on a reservation for a little bit.
- Really? - Yeah.
I was gonna get the one for bravery, but it was huge and I was afraid, so [Laughing.]
Well, I'll leave you guys to it.
Okay, bye, Naya.
Oh, look at you.
What? Real glimpse into the Rav technique.
"Bring me a hammer.
" That's how you separate the herd from the prey, like a jungle cat pouncing on his dinner.
I'm not trying to eat her.
Right, right.
When did you spend time on a res? You know, you don't know everything about me.
Gimme that hammer.
Oh! I just got caught in your web.
Just kidding.
Passed.
Moment passed.
Let's cut to the chase.
We both know why I'm here.
Okay, I could really use your help recording a voice for my video game.
That's funny.
I remember offering my services a few weeks ago and being told you need a professional.
And I-I-I apologize for that, but I thought now you might wanna help out a friend.
I would love to help out a friend.
And Geneva here was just saying to me that she always wanted a sister.
I'm listening.
Like another friend time doll.
How much would one of these dolls cost me? I don't know, Joe.
I got Geneva for Christmas.
Plus, I don't wanna put a price tag on friendship.
Would I have to have the doll before you laid down any of the tracks? I'm pretty sure that's how business works.
More tea? Just thought maybe at the top - Yeah.
- You know, you could give, like, a little like, a little this.
- Like a snake? - Old school.
Or maybe, like, a body roll? - Oh, yeah, girl.
- Oh, yeah.
Get it, girl.
And then shake it down, pow, yeah.
- Hey.
- What? Uh, the river is looking fantastic.
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.
Really appreciate the work.
Quick thing: Think we had a conversation about tin accents.
Yes, about the tin.
I went to that place in Chinatown, but I think it might've changed hands, 'cause all they were selling were live eels.
No, no, no, that is the place.
You have to go all the way to the back, push through the red curtain, and ask for Ping Mai.
Did I not tell you that? You didn't, but I'll get it.
- Well, apologies, madam.
- [Chuckling.]
- Lennon, shall we? - Yeah.
Well, I have to go back to Chinatown.
Man, that guy Is a bit of a douche.
Right? I had a simple plan for an elegant open house, and he just takes it all over.
Still, this is something special for Len, so maybe we should all just take the high road.
I'm sorry, is that not the road I've been traveling? I love the high road.
In fact, the high road is leading me to Chinatown, where I have a date with a man named Ping Mai.
Pretty sure that's a woman.
Whatever.
Listen, if I'm not back in a half an hour I'll send out an AMBER Alert.
- I will murder - Jess.
- High road.
- Recalculating.
Back off stranger, I keep the grenade in my baby stroller.
Awesome, Q.
You're a pro.
What do you expect, Joseph? Look at me.
I'm a star.
Bet you're glad you wised up and got me another friend time doll.
Okay, okay, yeah, Q.
Let's keep going for the lines Geneva and Cheyenne need some more tea first.
I think they've had their fill of tea.
Oh, my God, Joseph.
Cheyenne just lost her hand.
You got me a bootleg doll? No, I got it off Craigslist.
They just said there was some light dog damage.
Dog damage? You can consider this contract null and void.
Geneva, I'm sorry you had to see this.
Wait, come on, Q.
, aren't you a little old for dolls? I mean, you're 9 years old.
9 and 1/2! Come on, Queenetta.
Hey, come on.
Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were still working.
It's fine, I, uh I guess I'm done for the day.
I just thought we could all break some bread.
You know, get to know each other, so So, uh, Joe, you also work with children.
Oh, just the one.
Actually, I'm designing a video game.
Oh, very cool.
Uh, what do you do professionally? Oh.
This.
I do this.
Joe is a genius developer.
He's taking time off to make his own game.
Oh, like someone commissioned it.
Yeah, that's how a lot of my stuff works.
I'm actually still trying to sell it.
Right, hey, good luck with that, man.
Now, I promised pimm's cups, and I shall not disappoint.
To the bar! [Laughing.]
Whatever, I think the best night we spent together was that pub crawl.
- Oh, Warwick Avenue.
- Oh! It was you, me, and Meredith.
Meredith, yes.
Now, Meredith was this petite tomboy from Oslo.
No, I know Meredith, I was at that pub crawl.
Well, that's Meredith's not important.
The point is, we were drunk.
Completely pissed, as I recall.
Oh, yeah? Len and I have been drunk a bunch of times.
Well, not that much.
Well, enough to call it "a bunch.
" Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we were British drunk.
- It's different.
- Oh, and then we stumbled into that raw bar, remember? Yes! Yes! And I made you try your first oyster.
- Oh.
- Now she said She didn't wanna have it, but I said, "You have to! It's an aphrodisiac.
" - He kept saying that.
- Did he? Did he keep saying that? He did, 'cause I was there.
- I bet you were.
- Oh! - Now, Ken, let me ask you a question: Are you familiar with the work of Shabba Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp? Uh, I'm not sure.
Are they dancers? Are they dancers? Yeah, um, they're just part of the biggest dance movement in the 1980s.
Breakin'? Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo? Okay.
I'm gonna get the plates.
- I'll help you, Joe, so - Actually, Jess.
- Yes.
- I don't wanna be a trouble, but if you have it, I'd love an espresso.
Sure.
- With a rind of lemon.
- Okay.
- Just a twist.
- Okay.
Do we have an espresso machine? His royal highness has requested one.
Do we have an "eat my butt" machine? I'm requesting one for good old Ken Haskins.
"Never mind Meredith.
" "Ooh, I'm Ken Haskins.
" "I can crack a walnut in my butt-cheeks.
" "Eat this oyster, Lennon, it's an aphrodisiac.
" "Pimm's cups for everyone.
" I swear, if he weren't a gay man, I would already have punched him in the face.
I don't know if he's gay or just British.
I'm pretty sure he's gay.
Whatever he is, he is getting on my last nerve.
I mean, I am taking the high road here, but honestly? I may have to say something to her about him.
You should say something.
You know what? I don't have the time, because he has me building a raging river for the two of them to roll around in.
What do you mean "roll around in"? Well, I mean, it's part of the dance, but it's a bit much.
- Mm-hmm.
- Keep that tight.
Let me feel it? There, right, perfect, and this - [Chuckling.]
- Is gonna be straight.
Three, two trust me.
There.
Just-what stop! [Laughing.]
That old play still gets you, does it? - Well, yeah.
- [Laughing.]
Oh, hey, can you hold that, mate? Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
- There you go.
- Aw, it's - Ken? - Aw, it's - Oh, Ken? - Aw.
- Oh, Ken? Ken? - Aw.
- Ken! Ooh! I really I need to talk to you.
Okay, hey, can you just look at this section real quick? I just wanna make sure I don't look like a complete loser.
Okay, but you never look like a loser.
Will you just watch? 'Cause I really feel like I don't have it.
All right, but I already love it.
Jessica.
Okay, so there's this solo part where he spins me off, and then I basically do three of these.
I'm already crying.
That's beautiful.
- Jess, I'm serious.
- I'm being serious.
I don't wanna look like a weird woman.
You remember when we went to see your niece's recital and all the teachers did a dance, and it was the saddest thing in the world? Okay, that was because A they were all wearing Capri pants, and B they were dancing to Shania Twain's That don't impress me much.
Hey, you may not have been dancing professionally like Ken, but you dance here every day for hours and hours.
- Well, yeah, but - No.
You may not have his thigh strength, but you got the stems, honey, and they go for days.
- [Chuckling.]
- All right? All right.
Did you need to talk to me about something? No, I'm fine.
I'm good.
- Hey, Q.
- Joseph.
Come on, Q.
, I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Geneva's the one who was traumatized.
I'm sorry, Geneva.
Those pigtails are looking fantastic.
Geneva appreciates your compliment, and she forgives you.
Okay, that's enough.
All right.
Hey, I was gonna ask you kind of a weird question.
- Yeah, yeah, what's up? - Is there anything going on between you and Rav? What? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Lennon and I have known him forever.
We went to college together.
Oh, okay.
'Cause I was gonna maybe ask him out for some drinks, but I don't wanna step on any toes.
Oh, no, no, you should do that.
Ask him out, absolutely.
Okay.
And he's not, like, the type of guy who sleeps with a ton of women, or Um, I would have to check with him regarding those figures, but he's a really great guy.
He's smart and funny, and You know, he built his own bar in Red Hook.
- He's best friends with his grandfather.
You make him sound like the perfect guy.
Oh, yeah, I mean, not perfect, no, I but don't ever say that I used that word.
Um, but it doesn't matter 'cause we're not Uh, he does take his shirt off a lot.
Oh, that wasn't, like, a one-time deal? I'm afraid not.
Rav! Do you shave your chest? What do you think? Okay, great, thank you.
So Yeah, you wanna breathe through here.
- Uh-huh.
- Hold it there.
Perfect.
You guys mind if I get some eyes on this? Love to see what you've been working on.
Yeah, you wanna see my sweet moves, lover? Let's, uh let's take it from the fold over.
Okay.
[Classical music playing.]
Hm, that man's trying to make a baby.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
Good stuff, guys.
Really good.
Okay, let's take ten.
Let's not let's not waste it, okay? Let's save it for the show.
Babe, we're not done with the dance yet, though.
- Did you wanna talk to me? - What? You wanna talk to me outside? What are you talking about? I don't like what's happening here.
Okay, why are you whispering? 'Cause I don't like this at all.
- Everything all right, mate? - Hey, take a walk, man.
- Pardon me? - Yeah, you heard me, walk it off.
Okay.
You know what? Ha, I do need to talk to you, actually.
Right now.
Now! Okay, that was embarrassing.
Man, I just feel like He was really taking some liberties there.
Okay, you know what? I am doing dance moves that every dancer does.
Well, let's just say that dude was really taking advantage, really getting in there.
What, do you not trust me? Because that is insane.
It's not you I'm worried about, it's him.
He's the one that's busting out of those pants.
- Okay, so let me just get this straight: Your main concern is that a gay man has to touch me in order to do a dance which requires touching.
Well, Jess and I weren't sure if he was gay, or just British.
It doesn't matter what he is.
- It matters to me.
- Guys, guys, if I could.
I-I think what Joe is trying to say is that Ken can be a bit difficult.
What are you talking about? He has selflessly dedicated a week of his life to help and that's wonderful, but to Joe and I, he hasn't exactly been the most warm or welcoming.
Oh, I'm sorry that for once in your entire life, you have to support someone else besides yourself.
Hey, you know what? I have been on the high road, okay? I went to Chinatown, and I have burns on my fingertips from a bunch of live eels that Ping Mai made me touch to see my future.
All I am asking is that for once you get on board when I am feeling really happy.
How's my girl? I'm so sorry that you had to see that.
That was so embarrassing.
No, I'm sorry, I stir it up.
I always stir up the trouble.
I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate you being here.
It means the Just say no more.
Our world can be hard to understand for those on the outside.
[Chuckling.]
Okay, wait, whoa.
What are you doing? - What do you mean? - Stop.
Why are you doing that? What have we been doing all week? Uh, dancing.
I-I thought you were gay.
Oh, come on, the old "gay thing" again, really? Yeah, you're, like, really, super gay - British.
- Oh.
You do it again, I'll rip your face off.
Wow, I really misread the situation.
Yeah, I need you to get out of here.
Yeah, I think that would be appropriate.
Um, Lennon, can I just say one more thing? Oh, my God.
Get out.
Are you broken in the head? Get out.
Hey, everybody.
No phones, no texting, no emailing And if you need to open up a sandwich, do it now.
And thank you for coming.
[Applause.]
Len? Look, we we talked outside - and we realized that we - You said I could apologize.
Oh, all right, fine, go ahead, Joe.
We realized we were acting like total asses.
We were just jealous.
No, and we have to be okay with you having other people in your life.
- Ken tried to kiss me.
Both: What? - Oh! - Wait, what? That is the last time I take the high road.
I feel like such an idiot, 'cause I thought he was here to dance with me, and that I don't know why he would do that, I'm just a stupid dance teacher.
Oh, don't you dare say that about yourself.
No, Jess, it doesn't matter.
I've got to go tell these people that Ken won't be dancing.
I'm sure they'll be rushing to sign their kids up after that.
No, that jackass does not get to ruin this for you, okay? You don't need him, Lennon.
You are a phenomenal dancer.
Babe, you you gotta do this.
[Applause.]
[Classical music playing.]
- Sorry, sorry.
- It's okay.
Okay, go oof.
I got it, I got it.
Get up there.
Get up there, girl.
[Whispering under breath.]
Jess, the lift.
[Applause.]
Beautiful.
All right, Q.
, just read the lines and really unleash it.
I just want you to be you.
You are not wanted here, foul creature.
Uh Q, what's the deal? Where is the ? Umm.
.
Hold on.
- Hey, Jess? - Yeah.
- Can you come in here for a second? - Yeah, what's up? Uh What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I'm an invited guest.
Unlike some people I know Hey.
And what are you wearing? You look like a pirate! Queenetta, say this You are not wanted here, foul creature! Got it! So hurtful You need to get real with yourself.
So I'm the parent of an eight-year-old little girl Walked by this dance studio, I don't know, a thousand times.
Yeah, but what is this, an open house? Yes, please.
I come into this space.
- Stunning.
- Gorgeous.
Exposed brick, are you kidding? I hand them a pamphlet.
So much helpful information.
You shove a baby quiche in their mouth, they sit down, the kids get up.
Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle And then enrollment in my dance studio.
Goes through the roof.
Done and done.
Guys, I did a varmint scare.
What is a varmint scare? A varmint scare's when I go up to the roof and scream around for all the varmints.
- Mm, 'course.
- What'd you find? We might have a situation.
- What? - There's a homeless guy been keeping his birds up there.
Both: Ew.
So obviously we need to pull up the ladder, but that breaks my heart because No, he'll never see his birds again we cannot do that.
Okay, why don't we just put a tarp down? I think that would show a lot of compassion.
Guys, can I just in this moment right now Can you not cry right now? Tell you how amazing you are for helping me? Oh, Lennon, you have cried five times.
It is only 11:00 A.
M.
, okay.
- But this is my dream.
Oh, I'm sorry, I must be lost.
Or am I In heaven? Ken, oh, I thought you were on tour! Appears you were mistaken, madam.
Both: We can dance among the flowers While we while away the hours In the dewy morning glow With a hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho [Laughing.]
Oh, my God.
It's Ken.
[Laughing.]
Best Friends Forever - 01x05 - "Hey Nonny Nonny".
Original air date: 01.
06.
2012.
Ken, what are you doing here? I you never wrote me back.
Well, Lennon, how many times have we spoken, and I'm on tour, you're busy? Suddenly, I get an invite to your open house, I'm in New York.
I'm not emailing back.
I'm popping in.
[Laughing.]
So, how do you guys know each other? Oh, babe, this is Ken.
Ken Haskins? Remember when I studied abroad in London, Ken was with the national ballet.
Okay, Ken Haskins, right.
Len showed me the PBS thing that you did.
Very athletic.
Oh, thank you.
Ken, I just have to say congratulations on all of your successes.
You are remarkably sweet.
Ken Haskins.
Oh, Ken, it's Jessica.
It's okay you remember? I visited Lennon for two weeks when she was in London? We all went out together, like, every night.
- Yeah.
- It was so many good times.
Oh, yes, of course.
That sounds familiar.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Oh, no worries, it happens.
Not usually to me, but Now about this open house, I did have one little question: - Oh, yeah.
Why haven't you asked me to dance? What are you talking about? The open house.
I am dancing.
Shut up.
You would do that for me? Now there is just one requirement, and I'm afraid it's non-negotiable.
- Anything.
- You're dancing with me.
No, Ken, uh-uh.
I do not perform anymore.
It'll look like you're dragging around an old sack of potatoes.
Oh, then it was a good thing I've been working out.
- [Giggling.]
- Unless, of course, you don't want London's preeminent choreographer dancing at your open house.
You should do it, Len.
It would get butts in seats.
All right, I'm doing it.
Splendid.
Both: With a hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho And a hey-nonny-nonny oops, sorry.
You were done.
Cool.
How's that brain explosion working for you? 'Cause I can add more brain.
Are you kidding? I can taste the brain.
Don't fill up, 'cause I need you to test two more levels.
It was so good to see Ken.
So good.
I felt like I was 20 years old again.
You know what? Europe in the late 90s, that was just a magical time.
And what it was for me, really, was that I first felt like a real woman.
- Well, we were.
- I mean, men were noticing me.
Lennon, we were women.
- Remember those discotheques? - Oh, yeah.
We would step on the floor, and it was like sharks to the kill.
- Boom.
- Crotch-to-crotch with every guy from Norway, Croatia, you name it.
Sweden, Greece, the Ukraine.
Guys, I can hear you.
Those European men, they just really got me.
- Oh, got us good.
- They got you? Well, no, they didn't get me.
They got me.
Although, this one I did some getting.
And some gotting, if you know what I mean.
Things were different in Spain, though, right? - Yeah.
- Little looser.
Little wilder.
We didn't use - Yeah.
- I mean Those guys run from bulls, so they're not afraid to put it in your [explosion sound.]
- Ooh.
- Okay.
Can you guys please take it to another room? I'm on with Rav.
- Hey, Rav.
- Rav.
Rav knows what I'm talking about - Hey, Rav.
- Just a little bit of [Disco music vocalizations.]
Hey, ladies.
All right, please get out of here, come on.
Get too turned on, I get it.
- I'm working.
- What's happening in there? Ah, they're just all worked up about Ken Haskins.
You don't think I need to worry about that guy, right? Big gay Haskins? No, I don't think you need to worry.
You're a disgrace to the rebellion, cadet.
What was that? What did you press? - I hit space bar.
- Son of a bitch.
That is the wrong voice.
You're supposed to hear the voice of a little girl.
I must've lost the audio.
Well, can't you just rerecord it? I can't I don't have time.
I need to finish this before the conference, and I can't get that child actor back.
Oh, you know who'd be great? Dakota Fanning.
Rav She's practically a woman now.
Tell me about it.
Then I chaines out into an arabesque? Yeah, but remember, lamb, we've got to fill eight beats there.
- Oh, sorry.
- All right? How 'bout inside rond dejambe Okay.
Step contretemps, then into your arabesque.
Of course, I'll be there to catch - Yes.
- And - Oh, good, yeah - Yeah, lovely Oh, looking good, guys.
Oh, man, you know what this reminds me of? That dance we crashed at Oxford.
Do you remember that, Ken? You were wearing that silk cravat, and we were dancing to the Cranberries? Sounds like me, you're saying it's you, so it must be us.
Guys, we just got 12 more RSVPs.
Ken, you're blowing it up.
Oh, please.
Actually, Jess, while I have you.
- Yeah.
- You know what would be great as a set would be a river, um, wooden, maybe elizabethan in style, perhaps with some tin accents.
I think tin has a nice scintillant quality.
Scintillant.
Okay, that's a word I'll be googling Actually, you know what has a terrific amount of tin? - Where is that? - Chinatown.
Oh, well, text me the address, I'm on it.
You know, my team is on hiatus this week.
They have a set.
If it would be helpful, they could just bring it in and erect it.
Oh, no.
I can erect whatever needs erecting.
My crew can handle that.
You have a crew? Do I have a crew? I have a crew, 'kay? Is that really a river? I feel like we might need more waves.
You're welcome, by the way, for helping you.
Oh, thank you, Rav.
Man, I didn't know you were gonna be so needy.
Well, I am.
I require constant affirmation.
- Hey, Jess.
- Hey.
Do you know where the boom box is? I'm trying to run the kids through their dance.
Yeah, at reception.
I was dusting to a little Dirty Diana.
Hey, Naya, you mind grabbing me that hammer over there? There's a hammer right here.
- Here you go.
- Nice tattoo.
Oh, thanks.
It's a Zen gate.
Represents openness.
Must've hurt like hell.
You're so thin.
I got one on my shoulder.
Is that a bat? It's actually the hopi symbol for intuition.
I got it when I was, uh, on a reservation for a little bit.
- Really? - Yeah.
I was gonna get the one for bravery, but it was huge and I was afraid, so [Laughing.]
Well, I'll leave you guys to it.
Okay, bye, Naya.
Oh, look at you.
What? Real glimpse into the Rav technique.
"Bring me a hammer.
" That's how you separate the herd from the prey, like a jungle cat pouncing on his dinner.
I'm not trying to eat her.
Right, right.
When did you spend time on a res? You know, you don't know everything about me.
Gimme that hammer.
Oh! I just got caught in your web.
Just kidding.
Passed.
Moment passed.
Let's cut to the chase.
We both know why I'm here.
Okay, I could really use your help recording a voice for my video game.
That's funny.
I remember offering my services a few weeks ago and being told you need a professional.
And I-I-I apologize for that, but I thought now you might wanna help out a friend.
I would love to help out a friend.
And Geneva here was just saying to me that she always wanted a sister.
I'm listening.
Like another friend time doll.
How much would one of these dolls cost me? I don't know, Joe.
I got Geneva for Christmas.
Plus, I don't wanna put a price tag on friendship.
Would I have to have the doll before you laid down any of the tracks? I'm pretty sure that's how business works.
More tea? Just thought maybe at the top - Yeah.
- You know, you could give, like, a little like, a little this.
- Like a snake? - Old school.
Or maybe, like, a body roll? - Oh, yeah, girl.
- Oh, yeah.
Get it, girl.
And then shake it down, pow, yeah.
- Hey.
- What? Uh, the river is looking fantastic.
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.
Really appreciate the work.
Quick thing: Think we had a conversation about tin accents.
Yes, about the tin.
I went to that place in Chinatown, but I think it might've changed hands, 'cause all they were selling were live eels.
No, no, no, that is the place.
You have to go all the way to the back, push through the red curtain, and ask for Ping Mai.
Did I not tell you that? You didn't, but I'll get it.
- Well, apologies, madam.
- [Chuckling.]
- Lennon, shall we? - Yeah.
Well, I have to go back to Chinatown.
Man, that guy Is a bit of a douche.
Right? I had a simple plan for an elegant open house, and he just takes it all over.
Still, this is something special for Len, so maybe we should all just take the high road.
I'm sorry, is that not the road I've been traveling? I love the high road.
In fact, the high road is leading me to Chinatown, where I have a date with a man named Ping Mai.
Pretty sure that's a woman.
Whatever.
Listen, if I'm not back in a half an hour I'll send out an AMBER Alert.
- I will murder - Jess.
- High road.
- Recalculating.
Back off stranger, I keep the grenade in my baby stroller.
Awesome, Q.
You're a pro.
What do you expect, Joseph? Look at me.
I'm a star.
Bet you're glad you wised up and got me another friend time doll.
Okay, okay, yeah, Q.
Let's keep going for the lines Geneva and Cheyenne need some more tea first.
I think they've had their fill of tea.
Oh, my God, Joseph.
Cheyenne just lost her hand.
You got me a bootleg doll? No, I got it off Craigslist.
They just said there was some light dog damage.
Dog damage? You can consider this contract null and void.
Geneva, I'm sorry you had to see this.
Wait, come on, Q.
, aren't you a little old for dolls? I mean, you're 9 years old.
9 and 1/2! Come on, Queenetta.
Hey, come on.
Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were still working.
It's fine, I, uh I guess I'm done for the day.
I just thought we could all break some bread.
You know, get to know each other, so So, uh, Joe, you also work with children.
Oh, just the one.
Actually, I'm designing a video game.
Oh, very cool.
Uh, what do you do professionally? Oh.
This.
I do this.
Joe is a genius developer.
He's taking time off to make his own game.
Oh, like someone commissioned it.
Yeah, that's how a lot of my stuff works.
I'm actually still trying to sell it.
Right, hey, good luck with that, man.
Now, I promised pimm's cups, and I shall not disappoint.
To the bar! [Laughing.]
Whatever, I think the best night we spent together was that pub crawl.
- Oh, Warwick Avenue.
- Oh! It was you, me, and Meredith.
Meredith, yes.
Now, Meredith was this petite tomboy from Oslo.
No, I know Meredith, I was at that pub crawl.
Well, that's Meredith's not important.
The point is, we were drunk.
Completely pissed, as I recall.
Oh, yeah? Len and I have been drunk a bunch of times.
Well, not that much.
Well, enough to call it "a bunch.
" Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we were British drunk.
- It's different.
- Oh, and then we stumbled into that raw bar, remember? Yes! Yes! And I made you try your first oyster.
- Oh.
- Now she said She didn't wanna have it, but I said, "You have to! It's an aphrodisiac.
" - He kept saying that.
- Did he? Did he keep saying that? He did, 'cause I was there.
- I bet you were.
- Oh! - Now, Ken, let me ask you a question: Are you familiar with the work of Shabba Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp? Uh, I'm not sure.
Are they dancers? Are they dancers? Yeah, um, they're just part of the biggest dance movement in the 1980s.
Breakin'? Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo? Okay.
I'm gonna get the plates.
- I'll help you, Joe, so - Actually, Jess.
- Yes.
- I don't wanna be a trouble, but if you have it, I'd love an espresso.
Sure.
- With a rind of lemon.
- Okay.
- Just a twist.
- Okay.
Do we have an espresso machine? His royal highness has requested one.
Do we have an "eat my butt" machine? I'm requesting one for good old Ken Haskins.
"Never mind Meredith.
" "Ooh, I'm Ken Haskins.
" "I can crack a walnut in my butt-cheeks.
" "Eat this oyster, Lennon, it's an aphrodisiac.
" "Pimm's cups for everyone.
" I swear, if he weren't a gay man, I would already have punched him in the face.
I don't know if he's gay or just British.
I'm pretty sure he's gay.
Whatever he is, he is getting on my last nerve.
I mean, I am taking the high road here, but honestly? I may have to say something to her about him.
You should say something.
You know what? I don't have the time, because he has me building a raging river for the two of them to roll around in.
What do you mean "roll around in"? Well, I mean, it's part of the dance, but it's a bit much.
- Mm-hmm.
- Keep that tight.
Let me feel it? There, right, perfect, and this - [Chuckling.]
- Is gonna be straight.
Three, two trust me.
There.
Just-what stop! [Laughing.]
That old play still gets you, does it? - Well, yeah.
- [Laughing.]
Oh, hey, can you hold that, mate? Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
- There you go.
- Aw, it's - Ken? - Aw, it's - Oh, Ken? - Aw.
- Oh, Ken? Ken? - Aw.
- Ken! Ooh! I really I need to talk to you.
Okay, hey, can you just look at this section real quick? I just wanna make sure I don't look like a complete loser.
Okay, but you never look like a loser.
Will you just watch? 'Cause I really feel like I don't have it.
All right, but I already love it.
Jessica.
Okay, so there's this solo part where he spins me off, and then I basically do three of these.
I'm already crying.
That's beautiful.
- Jess, I'm serious.
- I'm being serious.
I don't wanna look like a weird woman.
You remember when we went to see your niece's recital and all the teachers did a dance, and it was the saddest thing in the world? Okay, that was because A they were all wearing Capri pants, and B they were dancing to Shania Twain's That don't impress me much.
Hey, you may not have been dancing professionally like Ken, but you dance here every day for hours and hours.
- Well, yeah, but - No.
You may not have his thigh strength, but you got the stems, honey, and they go for days.
- [Chuckling.]
- All right? All right.
Did you need to talk to me about something? No, I'm fine.
I'm good.
- Hey, Q.
- Joseph.
Come on, Q.
, I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Geneva's the one who was traumatized.
I'm sorry, Geneva.
Those pigtails are looking fantastic.
Geneva appreciates your compliment, and she forgives you.
Okay, that's enough.
All right.
Hey, I was gonna ask you kind of a weird question.
- Yeah, yeah, what's up? - Is there anything going on between you and Rav? What? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Lennon and I have known him forever.
We went to college together.
Oh, okay.
'Cause I was gonna maybe ask him out for some drinks, but I don't wanna step on any toes.
Oh, no, no, you should do that.
Ask him out, absolutely.
Okay.
And he's not, like, the type of guy who sleeps with a ton of women, or Um, I would have to check with him regarding those figures, but he's a really great guy.
He's smart and funny, and You know, he built his own bar in Red Hook.
- He's best friends with his grandfather.
You make him sound like the perfect guy.
Oh, yeah, I mean, not perfect, no, I but don't ever say that I used that word.
Um, but it doesn't matter 'cause we're not Uh, he does take his shirt off a lot.
Oh, that wasn't, like, a one-time deal? I'm afraid not.
Rav! Do you shave your chest? What do you think? Okay, great, thank you.
So Yeah, you wanna breathe through here.
- Uh-huh.
- Hold it there.
Perfect.
You guys mind if I get some eyes on this? Love to see what you've been working on.
Yeah, you wanna see my sweet moves, lover? Let's, uh let's take it from the fold over.
Okay.
[Classical music playing.]
Hm, that man's trying to make a baby.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
Good stuff, guys.
Really good.
Okay, let's take ten.
Let's not let's not waste it, okay? Let's save it for the show.
Babe, we're not done with the dance yet, though.
- Did you wanna talk to me? - What? You wanna talk to me outside? What are you talking about? I don't like what's happening here.
Okay, why are you whispering? 'Cause I don't like this at all.
- Everything all right, mate? - Hey, take a walk, man.
- Pardon me? - Yeah, you heard me, walk it off.
Okay.
You know what? Ha, I do need to talk to you, actually.
Right now.
Now! Okay, that was embarrassing.
Man, I just feel like He was really taking some liberties there.
Okay, you know what? I am doing dance moves that every dancer does.
Well, let's just say that dude was really taking advantage, really getting in there.
What, do you not trust me? Because that is insane.
It's not you I'm worried about, it's him.
He's the one that's busting out of those pants.
- Okay, so let me just get this straight: Your main concern is that a gay man has to touch me in order to do a dance which requires touching.
Well, Jess and I weren't sure if he was gay, or just British.
It doesn't matter what he is.
- It matters to me.
- Guys, guys, if I could.
I-I think what Joe is trying to say is that Ken can be a bit difficult.
What are you talking about? He has selflessly dedicated a week of his life to help and that's wonderful, but to Joe and I, he hasn't exactly been the most warm or welcoming.
Oh, I'm sorry that for once in your entire life, you have to support someone else besides yourself.
Hey, you know what? I have been on the high road, okay? I went to Chinatown, and I have burns on my fingertips from a bunch of live eels that Ping Mai made me touch to see my future.
All I am asking is that for once you get on board when I am feeling really happy.
How's my girl? I'm so sorry that you had to see that.
That was so embarrassing.
No, I'm sorry, I stir it up.
I always stir up the trouble.
I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate you being here.
It means the Just say no more.
Our world can be hard to understand for those on the outside.
[Chuckling.]
Okay, wait, whoa.
What are you doing? - What do you mean? - Stop.
Why are you doing that? What have we been doing all week? Uh, dancing.
I-I thought you were gay.
Oh, come on, the old "gay thing" again, really? Yeah, you're, like, really, super gay - British.
- Oh.
You do it again, I'll rip your face off.
Wow, I really misread the situation.
Yeah, I need you to get out of here.
Yeah, I think that would be appropriate.
Um, Lennon, can I just say one more thing? Oh, my God.
Get out.
Are you broken in the head? Get out.
Hey, everybody.
No phones, no texting, no emailing And if you need to open up a sandwich, do it now.
And thank you for coming.
[Applause.]
Len? Look, we we talked outside - and we realized that we - You said I could apologize.
Oh, all right, fine, go ahead, Joe.
We realized we were acting like total asses.
We were just jealous.
No, and we have to be okay with you having other people in your life.
- Ken tried to kiss me.
Both: What? - Oh! - Wait, what? That is the last time I take the high road.
I feel like such an idiot, 'cause I thought he was here to dance with me, and that I don't know why he would do that, I'm just a stupid dance teacher.
Oh, don't you dare say that about yourself.
No, Jess, it doesn't matter.
I've got to go tell these people that Ken won't be dancing.
I'm sure they'll be rushing to sign their kids up after that.
No, that jackass does not get to ruin this for you, okay? You don't need him, Lennon.
You are a phenomenal dancer.
Babe, you you gotta do this.
[Applause.]
[Classical music playing.]
- Sorry, sorry.
- It's okay.
Okay, go oof.
I got it, I got it.
Get up there.
Get up there, girl.
[Whispering under breath.]
Jess, the lift.
[Applause.]
Beautiful.
All right, Q.
, just read the lines and really unleash it.
I just want you to be you.
You are not wanted here, foul creature.
Uh Q, what's the deal? Where is the ? Umm.
.
Hold on.
- Hey, Jess? - Yeah.
- Can you come in here for a second? - Yeah, what's up? Uh What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I'm an invited guest.
Unlike some people I know Hey.
And what are you wearing? You look like a pirate! Queenetta, say this You are not wanted here, foul creature! Got it! So hurtful You need to get real with yourself.