Beware The Batman s01e11 Episode Script
Instinct
Katana: Previously on Beware the Batman All I need to feel safe is her.
When was the last time you had a proper physical, Batman? 1x11 - Instinct Man: [grunting.]
Hey! I don't care how expensive or endangered they are.
I am Azura, I'm not doing the show unless I'm wearing condor! Professor Pyg: I can understand your shock, little bird.
My associate, Mister Toad, has exotic appetites.
- It's a blessing and a curse.
- Who Not who, dear.
Why? Do you know how many birds had to lose their plumage so you could look atrocious? - Do you?! - Six? Actually, it was a rhetorical question.
But this one isn't.
Would you like to know what it's really like to be a bird who can't fly? [screaming.]
Mmm.
This is so good.
Alfred should leave town more often.
- Ugh! What's that smell? - It's parijat bark.
How is that even on the menu? Bruce: I own this restaurant.
- Now let's get to your training.
- Really? Now? Couldn't we wait until after the cheese course? Look around, and tell me what you see.
[sighs.]
I don't know.
I see everyone but us having a pleasant dinner.
- What do you see? - I see crime.
A waiter stealing from the register.
There's a cheating husband.
He's removed his wedding ring.
And a pickpocket on the street lifting a wallet from a woman's purse.
You need to train your mind to let your instincts tell you - when something is wrong.
- When do you turn it off? I don't.
I can't.
[people clamoring.]
[whimpering.]
[Azura screaming.]
He's really quite good, you know.
- Would you like a biscuit? - I really shouldn't.
Oh, maybe just one.
There's no fingerprints, no DNA.
It's clean.
Never mind the note.
Think.
Where are these words from? I know this.
It's from the nursery rhyme, Baa, baa, black sheep.
"One for the master, one for the dame and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
" [beeping.]
Nice, work, Katana.
Thank you, Batman.
Batman: Rhymes are the calling card of the eco-terrorists Professor Pyg and Mister Toad.
Our feather-wearing supermodel Azura is clearly "the dame.
" If Pyg and Toad stick to the rhyme, there'll be two more victims.
The master and the little boy down the lane.
The lane is the key.
We should Look for every street in Gotham with the word "lane" in it.
- The Batcomputer cites 129 streets - I've narrowed it down to three Why do we even have this thing? [salsa music playing.]
[machine whirring.]
Who are you? How did you get in here? My name is Professor Pyg.
And this is my charming associate, Mister Toad.
We're here to punish you for your crimes against animalkind.
Not to mention fashion.
[gun firing.]
Someone seems to be suffering from an acute case of thanatophobia.
An intense fear of dying.
[grunting.]
No.
No.
[laughing.]
No.
[whimpering.]
Spot on.
[gun firing.]
Ow! [gasps.]
[exhales.]
Ah! Pity.
I'm afraid, he's still breathing.
- This is the last location.
- Third time's the charm.
[whimpering.]
No, please.
Get me out of here.
[struggling.]
Are you gonna help me or what? Interesting.
- What do we do? - Follow your instincts.
[whimpering.]
Got it.
[blades swishing.]
- Sorry.
- No.
Good effort.
[explosion.]
Exploding goo? Hmm.
I think someone's got a bigger gadget budget than me.
"The little boy who lives down the lane.
" Katana: Sir.
- Huh? - Are you okay? [groans.]
That's Liam Taylor.
He's a fashion designer known for bold statements in leather.
Um, how do you know that? Bruce Wayne knows fashion.
This symbol is the logo of Cole Plastics.
I'll check them out while you determine the origin of this resin.
How? Right.
Go with my instinct.
Got it.
Oh! Ah! Don't do that! Who do you think you are, Batman? - Sorry, I - What do you want? Okay I need you to analyze this resin for Mr.
Wayne.
Listen, it's been a long day and my head hurts.
I apologize.
Fine.
- Mmm.
- What are you doing? I I don't know.
Sorry.
It's, uh, my mistake.
Figure out what this is and get back to me.
Yesterday.
[loud thud.]
[grunting.]
Ya! Mister Toad.
Guess who dropped by.
Hold on, let me get my monocle.
Batman! Welcome to our summer lair.
Yes, we've been meaning to invite you over for tea and a good, old-fashioned pummeling.
Sadly, we're all out of tea.
[both struggling.]
[clattering.]
That was rude.
As a physician, Batman, I worry about your violent outbursts.
Rage is a common cause of hypertension, you know.
Perhaps we should give your heart a quick stress test, just to be safe.
[circuits blaring.]
[crashing.]
[punching.]
[whirring.]
[Batman groans.]
[whirring.]
[grunting.]
Whoa [thudding.]
[clattering.]
- May I do the honors? - By all means.
[giggling.]
You have such a flare for this type of work.
[sirens blaring in the distance.]
Oh, drat, the police.
Gotham's killjoys.
I believe we should make a hasty retreat.
[blowing.]
- Oh, phooey and fiddlesticks.
- Language, Mr.
Toad.
Katana, where are you? Just leaving Jason's lab.
What happened at the Plastics factory? Pyg and Toad ambushed me.
They left behind a schematic.
The Batcomputer has matched it to a parking garage beneath the Gotham City Opera house.
The Opera house is hosting the masters of fashion event this week.
"One for the master.
" The next target is The runway show.
Meet me there.
Question.
What are we looking for? [beeping.]
This is what we're looking for.
Uh, Batman? My instinct's got nothing.
- How do we diffuse this? - We don't.
[engine starting.]
Find me an exit and meet me outside.
Katana: The exit's too far! Then make a new exit.
One rocket should do it.
- You want me to blow up a wall? - It's better than the entire building.
Which is what will happen if we don't get out of here now! [loud explosion.]
I so deserve this.
Not a dessert guy? We missed something.
I can feel it.
Pyg and Toad got away, but we'll find them.
We stopped a lot of people from getting killed today.
That's just it, we didn't.
The timer on the bomb was set to blow up an empty hall.
Pyg and Toad can't make their point unless there are victims.
We solved the clues in the rhyme.
We won.
If anything can turn off those relentless bat instincts of yours, it's this.
[cell phone vibrating.]
- Hello? - Burr: Uh, hi, Tatsu? I wanted to call and say I'm sorry for acting like Um, a creep the other day.
- I need to take this.
- Of course.
Burr: Tatsu? Did you hear what I said? The sorry part? Yes.
I appreciate that.
Friends again? - Sure, friends.
- Oh, good.
Phew! I don't know if I ever told you, but I am so non-confrontational.
Even thinking about calling you triggered this wicked rash.
Stop! - Is there anything else? - Oh, yeah! I analyzed the resin.
The resin? Oh, right.
Did you find anything? Well, that's the weird thing.
It's a rare phosphorus usually found on the skin of african toads.
- Did you say toads? - Yeah, only someone has altered it to make the phosphorus highly explosive.
Especially if it's exposed to intense heat.
Where did you find this type of resin? That feeling you had that we missed something? Jason analyzed the resin.
It's from the skin of a toad.
And when it gets hot enough boom! I think you were right.
It's not over.
I know.
"The masters of fashion cordially invites you and a guest to our gala, after party on the sea.
All the stars and Gotham's fashion elite will be there.
" The nursery rhyme was a diversion to keep us busy.
- Away from the real target.
- When does the party start? Two hours ago.
[dance music playing.]
I'll go below and look for Pyg and Toad.
Start getting people off the boat.
Do it quietly, we don't want to start a panic.
Professor Pyg: Bravo, Batman.
You're not as senseless as your attire would make us believe.
Yes.
A cape in June? It's just not done.
Batman: Your misdirect failed.
This ends now.
Professor Pyg: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Tell him the plan, boss.
I love it when you tell the plan! Yes, why not? We've rigged the upper deck with a body heat scanner linked to this thermometer.
As each animal oppressor enters the party, their heat signature raises the temperature of the coils by one degree.
- When the coils reach 280 degrees - Not gonna happen.
The guests are being evacuated as we speak.
Really? That is a pity.
I suppose we'll have to end the party early, then.
Mister Toad? [grunts.]
[blades swishing.]
[machine activating.]
Quick reflexes.
Very good.
Now, let's check your bone density.
[struggling.]
[blade slicing.]
[grunts.]
Let's slow you down a bit.
Mister Toad, if you would be so kind.
[grunting.]
[struggling.]
Professor Pyg: Oh, dear, Batman.
It appears you're about to become - oh, what's the word I'm looking for? - Crispy? Yes! Well put, Mister Toad.
Just to be safe, let's apply a second coat.
[clanging.]
[grunts.]
[Professor Pyg groaning.]
[crumbling.]
[grunting.]
- Did you get everyone off the ship? - The evacuation's started.
- We need to get to that gauge.
- Oh, I hate a party crasher.
Mister Toad, give Batman and his guest a lesson in etiquette.
With pleasure.
[thudding.]
[both grunting.]
[explosion.]
[both screaming.]
[crashing.]
[both groaning.]
Batman, there are still people on deck! If any more of that resin is ignited Uh what just happened? An onboard sprinkler system is standard on the Trident Monarch X90.
So is the override code.
It should keep things cool enough to evacuate the rest of the ship.
- How do you know these things? - Bruce Wayne knows yachts.
Katana: I have to admit, I didn't see that whole misdirect thing.
I just figured we solved the clues, mystery over.
Clues can be deceptive.
Bruce Wayne felt something was wrong.
And Batman listened.
Nice job.
- Instinct.
- You're learning.
Mmm [ringing.]
It's Tatsu.
I just I don't know, I just wanted to see if you were okay.
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just at the lab finishing some coding for the Ion Cortex.
Okay good.
That's all.
Nothing important, just checking.
Hey, uh, what are you doing tonight? Dinner again at the lab? This time I promise, no funny stuff.
I'd like that.
See you soon.
Don't worry, she doesn't suspect anything.
By the time she and Wayne know what's happening, the Ion Cortex will be complete and in your hands.
You will be generously rewarded for your assistance, Dr.
Burr.
Welcome to the League of Assassins.
When was the last time you had a proper physical, Batman? 1x11 - Instinct Man: [grunting.]
Hey! I don't care how expensive or endangered they are.
I am Azura, I'm not doing the show unless I'm wearing condor! Professor Pyg: I can understand your shock, little bird.
My associate, Mister Toad, has exotic appetites.
- It's a blessing and a curse.
- Who Not who, dear.
Why? Do you know how many birds had to lose their plumage so you could look atrocious? - Do you?! - Six? Actually, it was a rhetorical question.
But this one isn't.
Would you like to know what it's really like to be a bird who can't fly? [screaming.]
Mmm.
This is so good.
Alfred should leave town more often.
- Ugh! What's that smell? - It's parijat bark.
How is that even on the menu? Bruce: I own this restaurant.
- Now let's get to your training.
- Really? Now? Couldn't we wait until after the cheese course? Look around, and tell me what you see.
[sighs.]
I don't know.
I see everyone but us having a pleasant dinner.
- What do you see? - I see crime.
A waiter stealing from the register.
There's a cheating husband.
He's removed his wedding ring.
And a pickpocket on the street lifting a wallet from a woman's purse.
You need to train your mind to let your instincts tell you - when something is wrong.
- When do you turn it off? I don't.
I can't.
[people clamoring.]
[whimpering.]
[Azura screaming.]
He's really quite good, you know.
- Would you like a biscuit? - I really shouldn't.
Oh, maybe just one.
There's no fingerprints, no DNA.
It's clean.
Never mind the note.
Think.
Where are these words from? I know this.
It's from the nursery rhyme, Baa, baa, black sheep.
"One for the master, one for the dame and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
" [beeping.]
Nice, work, Katana.
Thank you, Batman.
Batman: Rhymes are the calling card of the eco-terrorists Professor Pyg and Mister Toad.
Our feather-wearing supermodel Azura is clearly "the dame.
" If Pyg and Toad stick to the rhyme, there'll be two more victims.
The master and the little boy down the lane.
The lane is the key.
We should Look for every street in Gotham with the word "lane" in it.
- The Batcomputer cites 129 streets - I've narrowed it down to three Why do we even have this thing? [salsa music playing.]
[machine whirring.]
Who are you? How did you get in here? My name is Professor Pyg.
And this is my charming associate, Mister Toad.
We're here to punish you for your crimes against animalkind.
Not to mention fashion.
[gun firing.]
Someone seems to be suffering from an acute case of thanatophobia.
An intense fear of dying.
[grunting.]
No.
No.
[laughing.]
No.
[whimpering.]
Spot on.
[gun firing.]
Ow! [gasps.]
[exhales.]
Ah! Pity.
I'm afraid, he's still breathing.
- This is the last location.
- Third time's the charm.
[whimpering.]
No, please.
Get me out of here.
[struggling.]
Are you gonna help me or what? Interesting.
- What do we do? - Follow your instincts.
[whimpering.]
Got it.
[blades swishing.]
- Sorry.
- No.
Good effort.
[explosion.]
Exploding goo? Hmm.
I think someone's got a bigger gadget budget than me.
"The little boy who lives down the lane.
" Katana: Sir.
- Huh? - Are you okay? [groans.]
That's Liam Taylor.
He's a fashion designer known for bold statements in leather.
Um, how do you know that? Bruce Wayne knows fashion.
This symbol is the logo of Cole Plastics.
I'll check them out while you determine the origin of this resin.
How? Right.
Go with my instinct.
Got it.
Oh! Ah! Don't do that! Who do you think you are, Batman? - Sorry, I - What do you want? Okay I need you to analyze this resin for Mr.
Wayne.
Listen, it's been a long day and my head hurts.
I apologize.
Fine.
- Mmm.
- What are you doing? I I don't know.
Sorry.
It's, uh, my mistake.
Figure out what this is and get back to me.
Yesterday.
[loud thud.]
[grunting.]
Ya! Mister Toad.
Guess who dropped by.
Hold on, let me get my monocle.
Batman! Welcome to our summer lair.
Yes, we've been meaning to invite you over for tea and a good, old-fashioned pummeling.
Sadly, we're all out of tea.
[both struggling.]
[clattering.]
That was rude.
As a physician, Batman, I worry about your violent outbursts.
Rage is a common cause of hypertension, you know.
Perhaps we should give your heart a quick stress test, just to be safe.
[circuits blaring.]
[crashing.]
[punching.]
[whirring.]
[Batman groans.]
[whirring.]
[grunting.]
Whoa [thudding.]
[clattering.]
- May I do the honors? - By all means.
[giggling.]
You have such a flare for this type of work.
[sirens blaring in the distance.]
Oh, drat, the police.
Gotham's killjoys.
I believe we should make a hasty retreat.
[blowing.]
- Oh, phooey and fiddlesticks.
- Language, Mr.
Toad.
Katana, where are you? Just leaving Jason's lab.
What happened at the Plastics factory? Pyg and Toad ambushed me.
They left behind a schematic.
The Batcomputer has matched it to a parking garage beneath the Gotham City Opera house.
The Opera house is hosting the masters of fashion event this week.
"One for the master.
" The next target is The runway show.
Meet me there.
Question.
What are we looking for? [beeping.]
This is what we're looking for.
Uh, Batman? My instinct's got nothing.
- How do we diffuse this? - We don't.
[engine starting.]
Find me an exit and meet me outside.
Katana: The exit's too far! Then make a new exit.
One rocket should do it.
- You want me to blow up a wall? - It's better than the entire building.
Which is what will happen if we don't get out of here now! [loud explosion.]
I so deserve this.
Not a dessert guy? We missed something.
I can feel it.
Pyg and Toad got away, but we'll find them.
We stopped a lot of people from getting killed today.
That's just it, we didn't.
The timer on the bomb was set to blow up an empty hall.
Pyg and Toad can't make their point unless there are victims.
We solved the clues in the rhyme.
We won.
If anything can turn off those relentless bat instincts of yours, it's this.
[cell phone vibrating.]
- Hello? - Burr: Uh, hi, Tatsu? I wanted to call and say I'm sorry for acting like Um, a creep the other day.
- I need to take this.
- Of course.
Burr: Tatsu? Did you hear what I said? The sorry part? Yes.
I appreciate that.
Friends again? - Sure, friends.
- Oh, good.
Phew! I don't know if I ever told you, but I am so non-confrontational.
Even thinking about calling you triggered this wicked rash.
Stop! - Is there anything else? - Oh, yeah! I analyzed the resin.
The resin? Oh, right.
Did you find anything? Well, that's the weird thing.
It's a rare phosphorus usually found on the skin of african toads.
- Did you say toads? - Yeah, only someone has altered it to make the phosphorus highly explosive.
Especially if it's exposed to intense heat.
Where did you find this type of resin? That feeling you had that we missed something? Jason analyzed the resin.
It's from the skin of a toad.
And when it gets hot enough boom! I think you were right.
It's not over.
I know.
"The masters of fashion cordially invites you and a guest to our gala, after party on the sea.
All the stars and Gotham's fashion elite will be there.
" The nursery rhyme was a diversion to keep us busy.
- Away from the real target.
- When does the party start? Two hours ago.
[dance music playing.]
I'll go below and look for Pyg and Toad.
Start getting people off the boat.
Do it quietly, we don't want to start a panic.
Professor Pyg: Bravo, Batman.
You're not as senseless as your attire would make us believe.
Yes.
A cape in June? It's just not done.
Batman: Your misdirect failed.
This ends now.
Professor Pyg: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Tell him the plan, boss.
I love it when you tell the plan! Yes, why not? We've rigged the upper deck with a body heat scanner linked to this thermometer.
As each animal oppressor enters the party, their heat signature raises the temperature of the coils by one degree.
- When the coils reach 280 degrees - Not gonna happen.
The guests are being evacuated as we speak.
Really? That is a pity.
I suppose we'll have to end the party early, then.
Mister Toad? [grunts.]
[blades swishing.]
[machine activating.]
Quick reflexes.
Very good.
Now, let's check your bone density.
[struggling.]
[blade slicing.]
[grunts.]
Let's slow you down a bit.
Mister Toad, if you would be so kind.
[grunting.]
[struggling.]
Professor Pyg: Oh, dear, Batman.
It appears you're about to become - oh, what's the word I'm looking for? - Crispy? Yes! Well put, Mister Toad.
Just to be safe, let's apply a second coat.
[clanging.]
[grunts.]
[Professor Pyg groaning.]
[crumbling.]
[grunting.]
- Did you get everyone off the ship? - The evacuation's started.
- We need to get to that gauge.
- Oh, I hate a party crasher.
Mister Toad, give Batman and his guest a lesson in etiquette.
With pleasure.
[thudding.]
[both grunting.]
[explosion.]
[both screaming.]
[crashing.]
[both groaning.]
Batman, there are still people on deck! If any more of that resin is ignited Uh what just happened? An onboard sprinkler system is standard on the Trident Monarch X90.
So is the override code.
It should keep things cool enough to evacuate the rest of the ship.
- How do you know these things? - Bruce Wayne knows yachts.
Katana: I have to admit, I didn't see that whole misdirect thing.
I just figured we solved the clues, mystery over.
Clues can be deceptive.
Bruce Wayne felt something was wrong.
And Batman listened.
Nice job.
- Instinct.
- You're learning.
Mmm [ringing.]
It's Tatsu.
I just I don't know, I just wanted to see if you were okay.
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just at the lab finishing some coding for the Ion Cortex.
Okay good.
That's all.
Nothing important, just checking.
Hey, uh, what are you doing tonight? Dinner again at the lab? This time I promise, no funny stuff.
I'd like that.
See you soon.
Don't worry, she doesn't suspect anything.
By the time she and Wayne know what's happening, the Ion Cortex will be complete and in your hands.
You will be generously rewarded for your assistance, Dr.
Burr.
Welcome to the League of Assassins.