Big Shots (2007) s01e05 Episode Script
Greatest amerimart hero
Previously on "big shots" I may have been your mistress, but now,I'm her best friend.
Marla's going to be staying with us for a while.
Were you having an affair with my boss? I miss you.
We want you to come home.
I want a divorce.
Sleepover's a big step for you two.
We're monogamous,cam.
That what you want to hear? Hello,cameron.
Mom,w-what are you doing? The arresting officer found a little black book with the names of all of her johns.
If this gets out,my career is over.
Terrence bailed dontrelle out of jail.
Even-money says by now he's got the book.
-Watch it! -Whoa! -Whoa,whoa! -Wow.
Dontrelle's little black book has you wound up,huh? No,no.
I'm fine.
You know,my company makes 20 different types of antianxiety drugs.
Why don't I send you some brochures? Am I invisible? Where is my love? My name is in that book,too.
But he got the threatening note.
And you own your own company you won't lose your job if the book comes out.
It's not just the job.
It's lisbeth.
I finally got her to stop seeing terrence.
Now,if this gets out I can't humiliate her like that.
Speak of the deviL.
Gentlemen.
Oh.
Frau bluecher.
Ah well,yoboys are up bright and early this morning.
You honing your games for the club championships this weekend? You're in luck,terrence.
I'm skipping the event this year.
Hmm.
That's too bad.
I would have welcomed the competition.
Then you're really in luck, because I'm missing the tournanament to spend the weekend with lisbeth.
Well please send her my best.
Yours will hardly be sufficient.
Hey,duncan,be careful.
If terrence gets ahold of that book, you may end up his caddy by this weekend.
Although this new inventory protocol will be expensive short-term, I assure you we'll see significant market gains by the end of next quarter.
But we'll need projections for its impact on amerimart's global costs.
You'll have them first thing tomorrow.
If you please,turn to page 15, I'd like to discuss boosting our Q.
C.
-Baseline.
-Mr.
Walker? Line 2.
Oh,sharon,no phone calls.
I told you it concerns "project goalpost.
" Oh.
Excuse me for one moment.
-Hello.
-Hey,dad.
What's the place we went after soccer last week? You know,with all those games and where the waiters sing to you? Captain longbeard's showtime funtorium.
What? Captain longbeard's showtime funtorium.
Oh,yeah,that's it.
Some of the guys are going there after practice.
Can we meet 'em there,please? Oh,dash,I'm sorry,buddy.
I can'T.
Some other time.
Your dad's got a lot of work tonight.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
Okay,bye.
By all means,james don't let the billion-dollar decisions interfere with your personal life.
- I don't know Doctor - Doctor!He did this to me.
- It's as though I don't exist in my own home - even see the chance - I'm worried I'll see an urn on the mantel, - - Wonder what's in it, - 12 years making his bed,making his meals.
.
- And learn that I've been dead for three years.
- read the inscription,for what?A grunt? - Did he ever once wonder how my day was? - It's howI know I'm alive.
Stop,please.
Okay.
How long has it been since the two of you have had sex? Let me check my almanac.
Frost was on the vines,as I recall.
Why? Normally,we try to work through other relationship issues before focusing on the bedroom.
But in your case, I think it would be wise to put the cart before the horse,so to speak.
So you're saying you want us to have sex? All right ,kids.
Hey,hey,hey,hey.
Get your hands off my kids.
Who the hell are you? Whoa.
Whoa,james,relax.
How do you know my name? Dad that's just nick.
He's mommy's boyfriend.
Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 5 Come on,guys.
Let's go.
I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.
I'm nick dawkins.
Yeah,some other time,buddy.
James! What are you doing? It's my night to pick up the kids.
You told dash you had to work late.
No,I told dash that I couldn't take him to captain longbeard'S.
I never said I couldn't pick him and sam up.
Well,now that we'rell here, do you want to tell them that they can't go for pizza and video games, or should I just take them? What do you guys want to do? -Pizza.
-Pizza.
Pizza,okay.
You take them.
Here you go.
Take this to the car.
I'll be right there.
-Okay.
-Sweetie.
come on,kids Who's your friend? Just make sure you show up to dash's party on saturday.
It's not bad enough the board's breathing down my neck.
Now some strange guy's picking up my kids at soccer practice.
And what do I know about him? Nothing.
I mean,he could be a doomsday cultist.
He could be a red sox fan.
-He could be -their new stepdad.
Hey,don't joke.
I didn't think I was.
That's how it went with me.
Before long,some other guy was "dad," and cam was calling me "duncan.
" Thanks for the pick-me-up.
Brody,are you about to cry? No,but I mean,what if? Guy loves his kids,gives them everything, and then no fault of your own Man,I've been I have been weirdly emotional lately.
I don't know what's going on.
Okay,men stuff football, cars,clint eastwood,sex.
Discuss.
How's this? Uh,my shrink ordered me to have sex with my wife.
So what's the problem? Well,in the best of times, our sex life wasn't fantastic.
That was before marla.
Now that I've been on the matterhorn, mr.
Toad's wild ride may not be wild enough.
I'm the only person in america having g-rated sex.
And the last time I had that was six months ago.
"Six months"? Wow.
Karl,it's like riding a bike.
You know,you just got to close your eyes and think of the tour de france.
It is official.
We are the world's worst support group.
Can I crash here tonight? I think you just did.
Is there a problem? Other than having every crappy grunt job in the company land on my desk? No,it's all good.
Hold on.
We gave you a desk? -You know,when I started at - yeah,yeah,I know.
You worked 30 hours a day,15 days a week, and still found time to cheat on mom.
Nice.
You're letting me hire someone? Go to human resources first thing tomorrow.
Tell them to set up some interviews.
You know,back at reveal,they're gonna say, "duncan's tiny heart grew three sizes that day.
" No good deed goes unpunished.
So,uh you're going away with mom,huh? The entire weekend.
You know that's three days,right? Nine straight meals.
Are you sure you can handle that level of commitment? There's the cam I know and love.
She's scared of you.
You know that? Scared of me?Why? Dating you,falling for you again.
Afraid you'll break her heart.
And if you do break her heart, you should be very afraidof me.
Did we have a brownout? Wendy?! Welcome home,darling.
Oh,there you are.
Did did we blow a fuse? Not yet.
So do you like our new chair? Mm,I can't tell.
Which one is it? Ooh.
Oh.
It's a louis quatorze chair.
Know why it's called that? Because it doesn't have any arms.
Louis quatorze put armless chairs in every room at versailles.
You know why? No clue.
Because he thought chairs should be for more than just sitting.
Oh.
Um,I'm guessing we're staying in tonight.
Want the good news or the bad news? Uh,start with the good.
Well,the board approved our proposals.
Hey,that's great.
And the bad? Now we have to implement them.
You got your sleeping bag? If that's as bad as you got, we're in pretty good shape.
And there was also some grumbling about "project goalpost.
" Oh,well,that's tough.
I'm gonna be there for my kids.
The board's gonna have to deal with that wow, you sound like every working mom in america with a touch more self-righteousness and,uh,better pants.
Hey,can I ask you something? Hmm? Um hypothetically speaking, do you think I-I cross some sort of a line if I hire a private detective to do some just minimal background check on my ex-wife's boyfriend? Just just to reassure myself.
I think you crossed the line by saying that sentence out loud, pothetically speaking.
Yeah,I guess I could talk to the kids and suss out the situation.
Whoa,whoa.
Single dad 101 never grill your kids about mommy's new boyfriend.
This requires a much lighter touch.
And you need deniability.
So,what do I do? Let auntie katie talk to 'em.
Holy cow.
That was so not us! Yeah.
I know.
Well,to be honest,marla had a lot to do with it.
You come again? I mean,marla suggested the change in location.
And the chair.
And that thing right at the end, with the fluttering? It's called the argentinean honeybee.
See? It's not so bad having her around,is it? Wow.
Who would have thought you and I could have such mind-blowing sex? That's one way to describe it.
Checked out those pictures online.
The cabin is beautiful.
The lake isn't a hundred feet from our front door.
Well,you're assuming we're ever gonna leave the bedroom.
Time topay up.
$100,000.
10pm.
Tonight.
Wait for location.
What's wrong? Urgent message from the office.
The japanese are making a run at reveal.
Buying up all our stock.
We're not going,are we? I'm so incredibly sorry,lisbeth.
I got to go back to the office and deal with this now.
Okay.
Next weekend,okay? Okay.
Thanks.
The "argentinean honeybee"? It was mind-blowing sex, and it was with my wife.
I didn't even think that was possible.
What's wrong this time? I'm gonna miss our tee time next week because I promised to take janelle up to connecticut to have brunch with her parents.
Why am I reacting like this? What is happening to me?! Not to get too personal, but is janelle on her "cycle" at the moment? "Her cycle"? Hold on.
Let me check.
Yeah,why? I'm sorry.
You keep track of janelle's cycle in that thing? Yeah.
Comes in pretty handy.
I know which days of the month not to talk about, you know,politics,money,or sex.
Brody,have you ever heard of something called "masculine parasympathetic affect disorder"? It's a range of maladies mirroring the P.
M.
S.
Symptoms of the dominant female in a man's life irritability,radical mood swings,bloat.
- Oh,come oN.
That can't be a real thing.
- No,no,no.
No,no,no,that's what it feels like.
I'm so ugly.
No,actually, this disorder is increasingly common.
My firm just came out with a new pill called "mascurox.
" It treats all the symptoms of "he-M.
S.
" Which is what we call it around the office.
I'll send you some samples.
No,no,I'll come get them.
I could use the exercise after eating all this fried food.
Duncan,why aren't you in the mountains? Because I'm in the crapper.
I got another e-mail.
They want 100 grand for the book? Small price toay.
And when's the hand-off? Tonight.
I'll get another e-mail with the exact location.
Duncan,as a crisis-management professional, I got to say I think paying ransom demands is a big mistake.
Brody,as a man fighting to win back the only woman he's ever loved,I'm paying it.
Hey,but listen,man.
That book could be photocopied.
And nothing prevents them from hitting you up for more money or, for that matter,hitting up anybody else in that book namely,me.
I'm saying it's time to get the police involved.
I'm saying it's not.
I can afford the money.
What I can't afford is the notoriety.
So,how'd lisbeth take you canceling your weekend together? Better than she'd take reading in the post about me having a bathroom tryst with a preop tranny.
-Well -whoever's behind this sure knows how to screw up your personal life.
Maybe terrence got his hands on it.
No,he doesn't care about the money.
If he had that book, he'd be up to something much worse.
Trust me.
Whoa,lisbeth.
Oh,what a surprise.
Terrence.
- Hi.
-Hi.
Thought you were away this weekend.
I was until duncan's business intervened.
Life as a C.
E.
O.
,Right? Even when you leave the office, sometimes the office won't leave you.
I don't know.
I always manage to carve out time for the truly important things in life.
Walk with me? Terrence,um you should know I'm giving it another shot with duncan.
I was under the impression you'd already done that.
A number of times.
Besides,it's just walking.
Oh,come on,terrence.
A walk is never just a walk.
Have a nice day.
Dash,when you're done reading last year's financials, why don't you go check out the fish tank? I got a really cool new angelfish.
Dad,I already saw iT.
Can we go? - I'm bored.
- I'm not.
I'm coloring.
Oh.
Oh,honey,could you not? Those are my earnings proje were my earnings ojections.
Guess who got the last two ice-cream bars from the commissary? Let's go eat 'em in my office,okay? I'll find out everything you need to know.
I'll just be decrayoning my office.
What are you doing? Watching you.
Why? Because I like the way you move, mrs.
Mixworthy.
Come here.
What do you say we forget about the dishes until tomorrow and maybe head up to bed? Or into a chair,perhaps? Actually,I'm kind of tired,karl.
I just want to read for a bit and collapse.
Now? The w elle decor came.
Good night,sweetheart.
So? First and foremost, nick does not sleep over.
Excellent.
Any idea what he does for a living? Sounds like he had some sort of internet company and sold it at just the right time.
For all intents and purposes,he's retired.
The kids see a lot of him,huh? Yeah,but,you know,they like him.
In fact,they went out of their way to say how fun he is, and they implied that mommy's been in a much better mood lately.
James,if your main concern was that stacey was letting some creep hang around your kids,this is good news.
They called him "fun"? What did you do to that poor girl? Me?! She came in here looking for the "devil wears prada" job.
You know,where you get to wear great clothes and rub elbows with fashion royalty.
All I did was explain what we do in here every minute make copies for assistants of assistants, oh,taking time out to get lattes.
It's the third interview today that ended like that.
Hey,what happened to your big weekend? We were on our way,and duncan got a call about this hostile-takeover thing.
I figured he'd be working late, so I brought some chinese.
Want to join us for a "happy broken family" dinner? Mom,duncan hasn't been in all day.
I've been by his office a couple times on mail runs.
And honestly, if there was any buzz about a hostile takeover, I would have heard about it.
Well,I can only imagine where he is right now.
Come on, I know it's a lot of money,but it's worth it.
I'm talking about the bag you're doing a ransom drop using a recherch? Janelle couldn't even find one in thstates.
It just seems like you're giving this jackwad a tip for blackmailing you! I'll get a trash bag.
The bag is fine.
Will you stop talking about the bag? I'll get you one when we get back.
Now,just relax.
What? I'm relaxed.
Yeah? I don't know.
You seem a bit worked up.
Sorry.
It's my first ransom drop,you know? And it really gets the blood going.
Jersey Park,Drop money in NE trash can.
We have an address.
Let's go,now.
We can stop on the way and get the guy a nice bottle of wine,too.
Where's wendy? She was tired.
She went to bed.
At 8:30? Hmm.
Guess I don't have to worry about coming in unannounced and catching you two in the act.
For your information,we've turned a corner.
Things are great in that department, thank you very much.
Hmm.
For you,maybe.
What does that mean? You're a smarty-pants.
Figure it out.
So now what,crisis management? Oh,n't act like I'm in charge.
You put the blackmailer in charge the second you agreed to his demands.
I'm not even here in an official capacity.
I'm just here for morasupport.
We should have guns.
Look,look,look,look.
He's early.
And he loves the bag.
Ohh.
He didn't leave the book.
What? The bastard did not leave the bo.
Hey.
Hey! Brody! Brody! Brody! Hey,you! Hey!You stop right now! Right there! Hey! Aah! Get off of me! Come here! Where's the book?! "Book"?! What book?! Dontrelle's book! What's the title? Oh,you think you're funny,huh?! That's my money,man.
I found it.
Help! I'm being robbed! Help! Brody,I don't think he's the guy.
Yeah,we'll find out pretty soon.
I ne two 4-inch nails and some jumper cables.
No,brody,look.
That's him.
Hey! We got your money right here! Hey! No,no,no,no! Wait! Wait! Wait! Well,that went pretty well,huh? Oh,good find on that one,dash.
I must have walked right by it.
You got eagle eyes,buddy.
Yeah.
- This one what's that one? - Garnet.
Hey,guys.
- Hey,mom.
- Mom.
Sorry.
We were doing dash's homework.
I guess I lost track of time.
Uh,yeah,I guess so.
Um,why don't you guys go get your book bags? You were supposed to have them back at my house over an hour ago.
Did you know dash had a science project due on monday? It's okay.
We managed to collect the, uh,four required metamorphic rock samples.
Kind of hard to do in the amerimart parking lot.
You've got to stay on top of him with these things.
He he conveniently forgets to mention his homework.
You know what?You can put me down as a wife as much as you want.
But don't imply that I'm a bad mom.
All right,listen,I was invited by clients to share their box next sunday at the jets game.
I know it's not my turn,but i was hoping to takehe kids.
A week from sunday?We had plans to go to the beach.
"We"?Who's "we"? Me and the kids.
Nick has a beach house.
Oh.
Wow.
Really? A family outing.
Is it too soon to get him a stocking to hang from the mantel at christmas? - Come on,james.
- No,no.
You know what?You're you're right.
I-I will take the kids to the dentist, and I will force them to do their homework, and I will work my ass off providing for them just to makeure nick is freed up to show them a good time.
Dad? Are you guys fighting? No,no,sweetie.
Daddy was just saying good night.
Hey,buddy you haven't told me what you wanted for your birthday.
Oh,yeah,captain clobber action figure with the ice prison playset.
"Captain clobber," huh? It's a superhero tv show.
Oh,of course.
All right,you guys go home.
Get some sleep.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Give me a hug.
- Bye,dad.
Love you.
- Bye,dad.
Love you.
Love you But did you see it?The fear in his eyes? Oh,just,ooh! You know what it felt like? It felt like,uh it felt like russell crowe.
- "Russell crowe"? - Yeah,russell crowe.
But not that winery movie russell crowe,you know "gladiator" russell crowe,you know, where you're staring into the eyes of a vanquished foe, knowing that you hold his fate in your hands.
Should he live? Should he die? Should he have a telephone thrown at him? Yeah,and he knew it,too.
He knew that he was the prey,and I was the hunter.
Hunh! - Are you on something? - What? Of course not.
Except for those pills that karl gave me,you know,for my condition.
- The he-M.
S.
'Ing.
- Right.
Let me see 'em.
These things are full of testosterone to counteract the symptoms.
That's why you've been acting so goofy and macho.
- What? - So,you fend off the japanese? Oh,hey,lbeth.
- I was just gonna - good night,brody.
Yeah.
See ya.
What's going on,duncan? And before you say anything,I'm asking you begging you not to lie to me.
There's no other woman.
I wish I could tell you more than that.
That's not good enough.
Not anymore.
You said to me that things were gonna be different this time.
And they're not,are they? You're already lying to me.
Please,let me solve this problem on my own, and I promise I'll never lie to you again.
God,I am so dumb.
Lisbeth,don't go.
I can make this right.
Listen to yourself,duncan.
You're already breaking your promises.
Oh,uh,wendy,can we talk? Oh,can it wait,hon? I'm already late for my appointment at the showroom.
No,I-I need to ask you something.
Karl,you're making me nervous.
Do I make you happy,wendy? What a silly question.
Of course you do.
In bed? You're so thoughul in the bedroom.
"Thoughtful.
" Considerate.
Polite.
I hear other women complain that their men never spend any time on but that's not you.
On the effort front,you get an a-plus.
"A" for effort.
But for performance? Can we grade on a curve? Silver comet? I-I don't know.
You tell me.
You're the costume store.
Yeah,okay.
Fine.
Yep,I'll do that.
Thank you.
That's the drag about working saturdays no assistants handling this stuff.
You know,I bet you didn't know that captain clobber is so that there's not a costume store within a 30-mile radius that can keep him in stock.
I'm guessing this is your stab at capturing the "world's funnest dad" trophy? And I guess the,uh,silver comet will just have to do.
They tell me he's another character in the series.
Well,on the bright side,I'd totally do someone called silver comet.
Captain clobber?He sounds like a drag.
If only you re my target demo.
Well,um,I'll I'll see you at the party.
Oh,and,james remember fun! I'm here about the job.
Do you see what I'm doing right now, on my sarday? Yeah.
It's the highlight of my day.
Luxury.
I once spent an entire morning decaramelizing a caramelized apple for my boss.
when can you start? Can I ask you a question? When we were together,did I ever satisfy you? Take your time.
Really think.
No.
Why didn't you ever say anhing? Because you weren't another tom or jerry.
- Excuse me? - Tom and jerry.
My previous boyfriends.
Bastards,both of them.
Great in the sack,though.
Still,after those two,you were welcome relief,a nice man.
You never yelled at me.
I got to be the boss.
And you always had such nice manners.
I just assumed I couldn't have it all.
I cat believe I'm asking this,but please,tell me,what made messieurs tom and jerry so "great in the sack," as you say? Karl, are you asking me for sex lessons? No,not sex lessons.
Just tips.
Some how-tos,perhaps.
Okay.
But only because I love wendy.
She's a saint,and she deserves some happinS.
Great.
Now stand up,turn around,and close your eyes.
Now! Marla? Wendy? Karl? Wendy?! It's not what it looks like.
We're both fully clothed.
Oh,great.
You're coping g well.
This?I just use this to sterilize the orange juice.
You know,we're gonna get crushed.
That little black book is out there,and - I don't want to talk about it.
- Don't panic.
What happened to the gladiator within? I think the drugs wore off.
Maybe your first instinct was correct.
- Panic.
- What?! "You blew it,pal.
"How much is this black book worth? We'll let the market decide.
" This is great.
We're dead.
We're dead.
Hey,you guys.
Have you seen james?He's late.
He was,uh,planning on making a big entrance.
Huge.
James! James! Make way for the silver comet! Awesome!Dad came as the bad guy! The silver comet?Nick? Sworn enemy of captain clobber? Stand back from these children,or I will be forced to use drastic measures.
Oh,no.
Stand down,comet.
I'm warning you.
So,we meet again,captain clobber.
You hand over that child!He escaped from my fortress of doom! - Make me! - Yeah! "fight!" You'll never get that boy back! Oh,yeah? Clobber,get him.
Oh,my I've got to admit,he's a lot more fun than I thought.
I don't know what you were thinking.
You actually started a fight in front of our children.
I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to the other mothers.
He shouldn't have been here,stacey.
I don't get it.
Am I not supposed to date? Should I be wearing black for the next year? Maybe pin on a scarlet letter? No,it's just that it'd be nice to think that the end of our marriage required some period of let's say "adjustment.
" I still can't bear to take your picture off the desk,but you you hit the ground running.
- And you haven't dated? - No.
No.
Not like you.
Not having some new person around the kids.
I mean,you were the unfaithful one.
I feel like m the one being punished.
I see my kids less,and when i do, I'm competing with some guy that doesn't have to work every day to provide for two households.
Then it's over.
He's gone.
U'd really end it with this guy? I don't want to move on,james,remember? I want to go back.
We've been down that road,stacey.
It's a nice road.
The kids say you've been a lot happier lately.
You should keep seeing him.
Wendy,sweetie,it's not what it looked like.
I find marla repulsive.
- Oh,please.
- I did it for you.
Then next week when I'm pleasuring anton,the masseuse at my day spa, I hope you can find comfort in the fact that I'm doing it for you! I just recently learned that I'm a failure in the bedroom! Forgive me if I went to extreme measures to improve my game.
Did you attack her?Is that it? You wanted to prove that you're a man?! No,I did not attack her.
And,yes,I would like to prove I'm a man! I went to marla for advice,bedroom advice! That's all it was!It worked for you.
I thought it might work for me.
- I wanted to learn how to please you.
- You want to please me? When my wyer calls,don't forget the cayman island accounts! Come here.
Delivery for ms.
Collinsworth.
It's just a wok Well,a wok is just a wok.
Oh,wow,karl.
I mean,wow.
Oh,whatever marla taught you she taught me to figure out what I want and go get it.
And what is it you want? One guess.
Thanks,cameron.
You know,we don't always work saturdays and sundays.
Just most of them.
That's cool.
I can use the hours.
Well,I'm gonna deliver these.
You want to keep collating? I live to collate.
Uh,you know,after we're done,we could grab something to eat or something.
Sounds great.
All right,then.
Hey,it's me.
I got the job.
No,of course I haven't told them.
Sounds like you and duncan have quite a history.
It's my curse,I suppose an attraction to alpha males.
You're not gonna spend the evening coming up with a list of all the ways I'm like your ex-husband,are you? I don't need to.
My shrink already did for me.
You don't like him,do you? I I admire a lot about him.
His moxie.
He pulled himself up by his own bootstraps.
I mean,very few members at firmwood can claim that.
He's got a magnetism that serves him well in his chosen field, and,more importantly,he crushes his driver.
And he's charming when he wants to be.
Sounds like another man I know.
There's a big difference,lisbeth.
I reserve all my charm for one woman.
I've been called a lot of things,but never a playboy.
How many times are you gonna keep touching a hot stove? I mean,sooner or later,we all figure out that it hurts every time.
Let me remind you what it feels like to be in a good relationship.
I mean,how can you not tell? Meg ryan in the diner totally fake.
When it's real,the woman's eyes roll back in her head.
Every muscle goes taut.
Even the toes.
Especially the toes.
When a man knows what he's looking for, it's obvious.
Wait up!Wait up!Wait up! Hey,I am about to show you ladies what 300 yards looks like.
What happened to brunch with the in-laws? You know,I woke up this morning and thought I would rather be out here golfing with you guys and told janelle exactly that.
"Honey,I'm going to the course.
Give your parents my best.
" You tooknother one of karl's testosterone pills,didn't you? Yes,I absolutely did.
I actually kept a couple,put them in my safe at home.
For emergencies,like my anniversary.
Black Book Sold to Higher Bidder!Thanks for Playing The other shoe just dropped.
The blackmailer just sold dontrelle's appointment book on the open market.
I'm a dead man walking.
It might not be that bad.
You're a fashion icon,not a politician.
Maybe reveal won't want to lose you.
Maybe,but I'll most certainly lose lisbeth when she hears about this.
Ma3e you should be the one to tell her.
Yeah,yeah,yeah.
First rule of P.
R.
Control the story.
"Sweetie,how do you feel about being the girlfriend of a man "who's about to be in every tabloid for getting a truck-stop knobber from 'dude looks like a lady'?" Needs work.
Look,you guys all know lisbeth.
How do you think this particular truth is gonna hit her? Well,we already know how well lying's worked out for you.
Good point.
I'm gonna go find her.
The trutH.
So crazy,it just may work.
Hey,jackass,that's my cart! Sorry.
Pills are still in my system.
Okay,I know that,in our past, I've taken certain liberties with the truth that ended up hurting you.
No,let me take that back.
I lied,and I'm sorry for that.
But it was my intention that,this time,there would be no reason to lie, because I wasn't gonna do anything wrong.
And in a way,I didn'T.
But sometimes sometimes the past just comes back with a vengeance.
- Duncan,you need to stop.
- No,I can'T.
I'm in a zone.
I need to get this out.
So,this this thing I did wrong,it's humiliating.
Mean,really,really humiliating.
And the last thing I want to do is embarrass you,'cause I want this us to work this time.
I do.
Duncan,if you care for me,you'll leave through the kitchen door.
Please,I don't want a scene.
I'll get that.
duncan.
Thought that was your car out front.
Terrence,could you wait for me outside,please? I can't do it again,duncan.
I can't risk my heart with you.
I've let you break it too many times.
And it's not romantic anymore.
It's sad and pathetic.
So,please,just let me go.
- Where? - What? Where's he taking you? Just on a drive.
A drive is never just a drive.
You know that.
duncan.
Hold on.
I've got something of yours.
I received a curious e-mail yesterday.
The sender wrote that they had read on some gossip site that I might have reason to want to take down duncan collinsworth.
He offered to sell me a little black book for a quarter of a million.
I negotiated down to 100 grand.
Of course you did.
Ah,he shouldn't have let me know he was a disgruntled evidence clerk.
First rule of negotiation.
That's more than a year's salary.
So is that how you wormed your way back into lisbeth's life? Showed her my dirtyaundry? She doesn't know anything about it.
And now she never has to.
- What's the catch? - There is no catch.
you really don't get it,do you? I care for lisbeth.
I don't want her to be the butt of a thousand jokes.
All this is behind her now.
So this is yours.
And perhaps she's mine.
Big Shots Season 1 Episode 5 Proudly Presents
Marla's going to be staying with us for a while.
Were you having an affair with my boss? I miss you.
We want you to come home.
I want a divorce.
Sleepover's a big step for you two.
We're monogamous,cam.
That what you want to hear? Hello,cameron.
Mom,w-what are you doing? The arresting officer found a little black book with the names of all of her johns.
If this gets out,my career is over.
Terrence bailed dontrelle out of jail.
Even-money says by now he's got the book.
-Watch it! -Whoa! -Whoa,whoa! -Wow.
Dontrelle's little black book has you wound up,huh? No,no.
I'm fine.
You know,my company makes 20 different types of antianxiety drugs.
Why don't I send you some brochures? Am I invisible? Where is my love? My name is in that book,too.
But he got the threatening note.
And you own your own company you won't lose your job if the book comes out.
It's not just the job.
It's lisbeth.
I finally got her to stop seeing terrence.
Now,if this gets out I can't humiliate her like that.
Speak of the deviL.
Gentlemen.
Oh.
Frau bluecher.
Ah well,yoboys are up bright and early this morning.
You honing your games for the club championships this weekend? You're in luck,terrence.
I'm skipping the event this year.
Hmm.
That's too bad.
I would have welcomed the competition.
Then you're really in luck, because I'm missing the tournanament to spend the weekend with lisbeth.
Well please send her my best.
Yours will hardly be sufficient.
Hey,duncan,be careful.
If terrence gets ahold of that book, you may end up his caddy by this weekend.
Although this new inventory protocol will be expensive short-term, I assure you we'll see significant market gains by the end of next quarter.
But we'll need projections for its impact on amerimart's global costs.
You'll have them first thing tomorrow.
If you please,turn to page 15, I'd like to discuss boosting our Q.
C.
-Baseline.
-Mr.
Walker? Line 2.
Oh,sharon,no phone calls.
I told you it concerns "project goalpost.
" Oh.
Excuse me for one moment.
-Hello.
-Hey,dad.
What's the place we went after soccer last week? You know,with all those games and where the waiters sing to you? Captain longbeard's showtime funtorium.
What? Captain longbeard's showtime funtorium.
Oh,yeah,that's it.
Some of the guys are going there after practice.
Can we meet 'em there,please? Oh,dash,I'm sorry,buddy.
I can'T.
Some other time.
Your dad's got a lot of work tonight.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
Okay,bye.
By all means,james don't let the billion-dollar decisions interfere with your personal life.
- I don't know Doctor - Doctor!He did this to me.
- It's as though I don't exist in my own home - even see the chance - I'm worried I'll see an urn on the mantel, - - Wonder what's in it, - 12 years making his bed,making his meals.
.
- And learn that I've been dead for three years.
- read the inscription,for what?A grunt? - Did he ever once wonder how my day was? - It's howI know I'm alive.
Stop,please.
Okay.
How long has it been since the two of you have had sex? Let me check my almanac.
Frost was on the vines,as I recall.
Why? Normally,we try to work through other relationship issues before focusing on the bedroom.
But in your case, I think it would be wise to put the cart before the horse,so to speak.
So you're saying you want us to have sex? All right ,kids.
Hey,hey,hey,hey.
Get your hands off my kids.
Who the hell are you? Whoa.
Whoa,james,relax.
How do you know my name? Dad that's just nick.
He's mommy's boyfriend.
Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 5 Come on,guys.
Let's go.
I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.
I'm nick dawkins.
Yeah,some other time,buddy.
James! What are you doing? It's my night to pick up the kids.
You told dash you had to work late.
No,I told dash that I couldn't take him to captain longbeard'S.
I never said I couldn't pick him and sam up.
Well,now that we'rell here, do you want to tell them that they can't go for pizza and video games, or should I just take them? What do you guys want to do? -Pizza.
-Pizza.
Pizza,okay.
You take them.
Here you go.
Take this to the car.
I'll be right there.
-Okay.
-Sweetie.
come on,kids Who's your friend? Just make sure you show up to dash's party on saturday.
It's not bad enough the board's breathing down my neck.
Now some strange guy's picking up my kids at soccer practice.
And what do I know about him? Nothing.
I mean,he could be a doomsday cultist.
He could be a red sox fan.
-He could be -their new stepdad.
Hey,don't joke.
I didn't think I was.
That's how it went with me.
Before long,some other guy was "dad," and cam was calling me "duncan.
" Thanks for the pick-me-up.
Brody,are you about to cry? No,but I mean,what if? Guy loves his kids,gives them everything, and then no fault of your own Man,I've been I have been weirdly emotional lately.
I don't know what's going on.
Okay,men stuff football, cars,clint eastwood,sex.
Discuss.
How's this? Uh,my shrink ordered me to have sex with my wife.
So what's the problem? Well,in the best of times, our sex life wasn't fantastic.
That was before marla.
Now that I've been on the matterhorn, mr.
Toad's wild ride may not be wild enough.
I'm the only person in america having g-rated sex.
And the last time I had that was six months ago.
"Six months"? Wow.
Karl,it's like riding a bike.
You know,you just got to close your eyes and think of the tour de france.
It is official.
We are the world's worst support group.
Can I crash here tonight? I think you just did.
Is there a problem? Other than having every crappy grunt job in the company land on my desk? No,it's all good.
Hold on.
We gave you a desk? -You know,when I started at - yeah,yeah,I know.
You worked 30 hours a day,15 days a week, and still found time to cheat on mom.
Nice.
You're letting me hire someone? Go to human resources first thing tomorrow.
Tell them to set up some interviews.
You know,back at reveal,they're gonna say, "duncan's tiny heart grew three sizes that day.
" No good deed goes unpunished.
So,uh you're going away with mom,huh? The entire weekend.
You know that's three days,right? Nine straight meals.
Are you sure you can handle that level of commitment? There's the cam I know and love.
She's scared of you.
You know that? Scared of me?Why? Dating you,falling for you again.
Afraid you'll break her heart.
And if you do break her heart, you should be very afraidof me.
Did we have a brownout? Wendy?! Welcome home,darling.
Oh,there you are.
Did did we blow a fuse? Not yet.
So do you like our new chair? Mm,I can't tell.
Which one is it? Ooh.
Oh.
It's a louis quatorze chair.
Know why it's called that? Because it doesn't have any arms.
Louis quatorze put armless chairs in every room at versailles.
You know why? No clue.
Because he thought chairs should be for more than just sitting.
Oh.
Um,I'm guessing we're staying in tonight.
Want the good news or the bad news? Uh,start with the good.
Well,the board approved our proposals.
Hey,that's great.
And the bad? Now we have to implement them.
You got your sleeping bag? If that's as bad as you got, we're in pretty good shape.
And there was also some grumbling about "project goalpost.
" Oh,well,that's tough.
I'm gonna be there for my kids.
The board's gonna have to deal with that wow, you sound like every working mom in america with a touch more self-righteousness and,uh,better pants.
Hey,can I ask you something? Hmm? Um hypothetically speaking, do you think I-I cross some sort of a line if I hire a private detective to do some just minimal background check on my ex-wife's boyfriend? Just just to reassure myself.
I think you crossed the line by saying that sentence out loud, pothetically speaking.
Yeah,I guess I could talk to the kids and suss out the situation.
Whoa,whoa.
Single dad 101 never grill your kids about mommy's new boyfriend.
This requires a much lighter touch.
And you need deniability.
So,what do I do? Let auntie katie talk to 'em.
Holy cow.
That was so not us! Yeah.
I know.
Well,to be honest,marla had a lot to do with it.
You come again? I mean,marla suggested the change in location.
And the chair.
And that thing right at the end, with the fluttering? It's called the argentinean honeybee.
See? It's not so bad having her around,is it? Wow.
Who would have thought you and I could have such mind-blowing sex? That's one way to describe it.
Checked out those pictures online.
The cabin is beautiful.
The lake isn't a hundred feet from our front door.
Well,you're assuming we're ever gonna leave the bedroom.
Time topay up.
$100,000.
10pm.
Tonight.
Wait for location.
What's wrong? Urgent message from the office.
The japanese are making a run at reveal.
Buying up all our stock.
We're not going,are we? I'm so incredibly sorry,lisbeth.
I got to go back to the office and deal with this now.
Okay.
Next weekend,okay? Okay.
Thanks.
The "argentinean honeybee"? It was mind-blowing sex, and it was with my wife.
I didn't even think that was possible.
What's wrong this time? I'm gonna miss our tee time next week because I promised to take janelle up to connecticut to have brunch with her parents.
Why am I reacting like this? What is happening to me?! Not to get too personal, but is janelle on her "cycle" at the moment? "Her cycle"? Hold on.
Let me check.
Yeah,why? I'm sorry.
You keep track of janelle's cycle in that thing? Yeah.
Comes in pretty handy.
I know which days of the month not to talk about, you know,politics,money,or sex.
Brody,have you ever heard of something called "masculine parasympathetic affect disorder"? It's a range of maladies mirroring the P.
M.
S.
Symptoms of the dominant female in a man's life irritability,radical mood swings,bloat.
- Oh,come oN.
That can't be a real thing.
- No,no,no.
No,no,no,that's what it feels like.
I'm so ugly.
No,actually, this disorder is increasingly common.
My firm just came out with a new pill called "mascurox.
" It treats all the symptoms of "he-M.
S.
" Which is what we call it around the office.
I'll send you some samples.
No,no,I'll come get them.
I could use the exercise after eating all this fried food.
Duncan,why aren't you in the mountains? Because I'm in the crapper.
I got another e-mail.
They want 100 grand for the book? Small price toay.
And when's the hand-off? Tonight.
I'll get another e-mail with the exact location.
Duncan,as a crisis-management professional, I got to say I think paying ransom demands is a big mistake.
Brody,as a man fighting to win back the only woman he's ever loved,I'm paying it.
Hey,but listen,man.
That book could be photocopied.
And nothing prevents them from hitting you up for more money or, for that matter,hitting up anybody else in that book namely,me.
I'm saying it's time to get the police involved.
I'm saying it's not.
I can afford the money.
What I can't afford is the notoriety.
So,how'd lisbeth take you canceling your weekend together? Better than she'd take reading in the post about me having a bathroom tryst with a preop tranny.
-Well -whoever's behind this sure knows how to screw up your personal life.
Maybe terrence got his hands on it.
No,he doesn't care about the money.
If he had that book, he'd be up to something much worse.
Trust me.
Whoa,lisbeth.
Oh,what a surprise.
Terrence.
- Hi.
-Hi.
Thought you were away this weekend.
I was until duncan's business intervened.
Life as a C.
E.
O.
,Right? Even when you leave the office, sometimes the office won't leave you.
I don't know.
I always manage to carve out time for the truly important things in life.
Walk with me? Terrence,um you should know I'm giving it another shot with duncan.
I was under the impression you'd already done that.
A number of times.
Besides,it's just walking.
Oh,come on,terrence.
A walk is never just a walk.
Have a nice day.
Dash,when you're done reading last year's financials, why don't you go check out the fish tank? I got a really cool new angelfish.
Dad,I already saw iT.
Can we go? - I'm bored.
- I'm not.
I'm coloring.
Oh.
Oh,honey,could you not? Those are my earnings proje were my earnings ojections.
Guess who got the last two ice-cream bars from the commissary? Let's go eat 'em in my office,okay? I'll find out everything you need to know.
I'll just be decrayoning my office.
What are you doing? Watching you.
Why? Because I like the way you move, mrs.
Mixworthy.
Come here.
What do you say we forget about the dishes until tomorrow and maybe head up to bed? Or into a chair,perhaps? Actually,I'm kind of tired,karl.
I just want to read for a bit and collapse.
Now? The w elle decor came.
Good night,sweetheart.
So? First and foremost, nick does not sleep over.
Excellent.
Any idea what he does for a living? Sounds like he had some sort of internet company and sold it at just the right time.
For all intents and purposes,he's retired.
The kids see a lot of him,huh? Yeah,but,you know,they like him.
In fact,they went out of their way to say how fun he is, and they implied that mommy's been in a much better mood lately.
James,if your main concern was that stacey was letting some creep hang around your kids,this is good news.
They called him "fun"? What did you do to that poor girl? Me?! She came in here looking for the "devil wears prada" job.
You know,where you get to wear great clothes and rub elbows with fashion royalty.
All I did was explain what we do in here every minute make copies for assistants of assistants, oh,taking time out to get lattes.
It's the third interview today that ended like that.
Hey,what happened to your big weekend? We were on our way,and duncan got a call about this hostile-takeover thing.
I figured he'd be working late, so I brought some chinese.
Want to join us for a "happy broken family" dinner? Mom,duncan hasn't been in all day.
I've been by his office a couple times on mail runs.
And honestly, if there was any buzz about a hostile takeover, I would have heard about it.
Well,I can only imagine where he is right now.
Come on, I know it's a lot of money,but it's worth it.
I'm talking about the bag you're doing a ransom drop using a recherch? Janelle couldn't even find one in thstates.
It just seems like you're giving this jackwad a tip for blackmailing you! I'll get a trash bag.
The bag is fine.
Will you stop talking about the bag? I'll get you one when we get back.
Now,just relax.
What? I'm relaxed.
Yeah? I don't know.
You seem a bit worked up.
Sorry.
It's my first ransom drop,you know? And it really gets the blood going.
Jersey Park,Drop money in NE trash can.
We have an address.
Let's go,now.
We can stop on the way and get the guy a nice bottle of wine,too.
Where's wendy? She was tired.
She went to bed.
At 8:30? Hmm.
Guess I don't have to worry about coming in unannounced and catching you two in the act.
For your information,we've turned a corner.
Things are great in that department, thank you very much.
Hmm.
For you,maybe.
What does that mean? You're a smarty-pants.
Figure it out.
So now what,crisis management? Oh,n't act like I'm in charge.
You put the blackmailer in charge the second you agreed to his demands.
I'm not even here in an official capacity.
I'm just here for morasupport.
We should have guns.
Look,look,look,look.
He's early.
And he loves the bag.
Ohh.
He didn't leave the book.
What? The bastard did not leave the bo.
Hey.
Hey! Brody! Brody! Brody! Hey,you! Hey!You stop right now! Right there! Hey! Aah! Get off of me! Come here! Where's the book?! "Book"?! What book?! Dontrelle's book! What's the title? Oh,you think you're funny,huh?! That's my money,man.
I found it.
Help! I'm being robbed! Help! Brody,I don't think he's the guy.
Yeah,we'll find out pretty soon.
I ne two 4-inch nails and some jumper cables.
No,brody,look.
That's him.
Hey! We got your money right here! Hey! No,no,no,no! Wait! Wait! Wait! Well,that went pretty well,huh? Oh,good find on that one,dash.
I must have walked right by it.
You got eagle eyes,buddy.
Yeah.
- This one what's that one? - Garnet.
Hey,guys.
- Hey,mom.
- Mom.
Sorry.
We were doing dash's homework.
I guess I lost track of time.
Uh,yeah,I guess so.
Um,why don't you guys go get your book bags? You were supposed to have them back at my house over an hour ago.
Did you know dash had a science project due on monday? It's okay.
We managed to collect the, uh,four required metamorphic rock samples.
Kind of hard to do in the amerimart parking lot.
You've got to stay on top of him with these things.
He he conveniently forgets to mention his homework.
You know what?You can put me down as a wife as much as you want.
But don't imply that I'm a bad mom.
All right,listen,I was invited by clients to share their box next sunday at the jets game.
I know it's not my turn,but i was hoping to takehe kids.
A week from sunday?We had plans to go to the beach.
"We"?Who's "we"? Me and the kids.
Nick has a beach house.
Oh.
Wow.
Really? A family outing.
Is it too soon to get him a stocking to hang from the mantel at christmas? - Come on,james.
- No,no.
You know what?You're you're right.
I-I will take the kids to the dentist, and I will force them to do their homework, and I will work my ass off providing for them just to makeure nick is freed up to show them a good time.
Dad? Are you guys fighting? No,no,sweetie.
Daddy was just saying good night.
Hey,buddy you haven't told me what you wanted for your birthday.
Oh,yeah,captain clobber action figure with the ice prison playset.
"Captain clobber," huh? It's a superhero tv show.
Oh,of course.
All right,you guys go home.
Get some sleep.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Give me a hug.
- Bye,dad.
Love you.
- Bye,dad.
Love you.
Love you But did you see it?The fear in his eyes? Oh,just,ooh! You know what it felt like? It felt like,uh it felt like russell crowe.
- "Russell crowe"? - Yeah,russell crowe.
But not that winery movie russell crowe,you know "gladiator" russell crowe,you know, where you're staring into the eyes of a vanquished foe, knowing that you hold his fate in your hands.
Should he live? Should he die? Should he have a telephone thrown at him? Yeah,and he knew it,too.
He knew that he was the prey,and I was the hunter.
Hunh! - Are you on something? - What? Of course not.
Except for those pills that karl gave me,you know,for my condition.
- The he-M.
S.
'Ing.
- Right.
Let me see 'em.
These things are full of testosterone to counteract the symptoms.
That's why you've been acting so goofy and macho.
- What? - So,you fend off the japanese? Oh,hey,lbeth.
- I was just gonna - good night,brody.
Yeah.
See ya.
What's going on,duncan? And before you say anything,I'm asking you begging you not to lie to me.
There's no other woman.
I wish I could tell you more than that.
That's not good enough.
Not anymore.
You said to me that things were gonna be different this time.
And they're not,are they? You're already lying to me.
Please,let me solve this problem on my own, and I promise I'll never lie to you again.
God,I am so dumb.
Lisbeth,don't go.
I can make this right.
Listen to yourself,duncan.
You're already breaking your promises.
Oh,uh,wendy,can we talk? Oh,can it wait,hon? I'm already late for my appointment at the showroom.
No,I-I need to ask you something.
Karl,you're making me nervous.
Do I make you happy,wendy? What a silly question.
Of course you do.
In bed? You're so thoughul in the bedroom.
"Thoughtful.
" Considerate.
Polite.
I hear other women complain that their men never spend any time on but that's not you.
On the effort front,you get an a-plus.
"A" for effort.
But for performance? Can we grade on a curve? Silver comet? I-I don't know.
You tell me.
You're the costume store.
Yeah,okay.
Fine.
Yep,I'll do that.
Thank you.
That's the drag about working saturdays no assistants handling this stuff.
You know,I bet you didn't know that captain clobber is so that there's not a costume store within a 30-mile radius that can keep him in stock.
I'm guessing this is your stab at capturing the "world's funnest dad" trophy? And I guess the,uh,silver comet will just have to do.
They tell me he's another character in the series.
Well,on the bright side,I'd totally do someone called silver comet.
Captain clobber?He sounds like a drag.
If only you re my target demo.
Well,um,I'll I'll see you at the party.
Oh,and,james remember fun! I'm here about the job.
Do you see what I'm doing right now, on my sarday? Yeah.
It's the highlight of my day.
Luxury.
I once spent an entire morning decaramelizing a caramelized apple for my boss.
when can you start? Can I ask you a question? When we were together,did I ever satisfy you? Take your time.
Really think.
No.
Why didn't you ever say anhing? Because you weren't another tom or jerry.
- Excuse me? - Tom and jerry.
My previous boyfriends.
Bastards,both of them.
Great in the sack,though.
Still,after those two,you were welcome relief,a nice man.
You never yelled at me.
I got to be the boss.
And you always had such nice manners.
I just assumed I couldn't have it all.
I cat believe I'm asking this,but please,tell me,what made messieurs tom and jerry so "great in the sack," as you say? Karl, are you asking me for sex lessons? No,not sex lessons.
Just tips.
Some how-tos,perhaps.
Okay.
But only because I love wendy.
She's a saint,and she deserves some happinS.
Great.
Now stand up,turn around,and close your eyes.
Now! Marla? Wendy? Karl? Wendy?! It's not what it looks like.
We're both fully clothed.
Oh,great.
You're coping g well.
This?I just use this to sterilize the orange juice.
You know,we're gonna get crushed.
That little black book is out there,and - I don't want to talk about it.
- Don't panic.
What happened to the gladiator within? I think the drugs wore off.
Maybe your first instinct was correct.
- Panic.
- What?! "You blew it,pal.
"How much is this black book worth? We'll let the market decide.
" This is great.
We're dead.
We're dead.
Hey,you guys.
Have you seen james?He's late.
He was,uh,planning on making a big entrance.
Huge.
James! James! Make way for the silver comet! Awesome!Dad came as the bad guy! The silver comet?Nick? Sworn enemy of captain clobber? Stand back from these children,or I will be forced to use drastic measures.
Oh,no.
Stand down,comet.
I'm warning you.
So,we meet again,captain clobber.
You hand over that child!He escaped from my fortress of doom! - Make me! - Yeah! "fight!" You'll never get that boy back! Oh,yeah? Clobber,get him.
Oh,my I've got to admit,he's a lot more fun than I thought.
I don't know what you were thinking.
You actually started a fight in front of our children.
I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to the other mothers.
He shouldn't have been here,stacey.
I don't get it.
Am I not supposed to date? Should I be wearing black for the next year? Maybe pin on a scarlet letter? No,it's just that it'd be nice to think that the end of our marriage required some period of let's say "adjustment.
" I still can't bear to take your picture off the desk,but you you hit the ground running.
- And you haven't dated? - No.
No.
Not like you.
Not having some new person around the kids.
I mean,you were the unfaithful one.
I feel like m the one being punished.
I see my kids less,and when i do, I'm competing with some guy that doesn't have to work every day to provide for two households.
Then it's over.
He's gone.
U'd really end it with this guy? I don't want to move on,james,remember? I want to go back.
We've been down that road,stacey.
It's a nice road.
The kids say you've been a lot happier lately.
You should keep seeing him.
Wendy,sweetie,it's not what it looked like.
I find marla repulsive.
- Oh,please.
- I did it for you.
Then next week when I'm pleasuring anton,the masseuse at my day spa, I hope you can find comfort in the fact that I'm doing it for you! I just recently learned that I'm a failure in the bedroom! Forgive me if I went to extreme measures to improve my game.
Did you attack her?Is that it? You wanted to prove that you're a man?! No,I did not attack her.
And,yes,I would like to prove I'm a man! I went to marla for advice,bedroom advice! That's all it was!It worked for you.
I thought it might work for me.
- I wanted to learn how to please you.
- You want to please me? When my wyer calls,don't forget the cayman island accounts! Come here.
Delivery for ms.
Collinsworth.
It's just a wok Well,a wok is just a wok.
Oh,wow,karl.
I mean,wow.
Oh,whatever marla taught you she taught me to figure out what I want and go get it.
And what is it you want? One guess.
Thanks,cameron.
You know,we don't always work saturdays and sundays.
Just most of them.
That's cool.
I can use the hours.
Well,I'm gonna deliver these.
You want to keep collating? I live to collate.
Uh,you know,after we're done,we could grab something to eat or something.
Sounds great.
All right,then.
Hey,it's me.
I got the job.
No,of course I haven't told them.
Sounds like you and duncan have quite a history.
It's my curse,I suppose an attraction to alpha males.
You're not gonna spend the evening coming up with a list of all the ways I'm like your ex-husband,are you? I don't need to.
My shrink already did for me.
You don't like him,do you? I I admire a lot about him.
His moxie.
He pulled himself up by his own bootstraps.
I mean,very few members at firmwood can claim that.
He's got a magnetism that serves him well in his chosen field, and,more importantly,he crushes his driver.
And he's charming when he wants to be.
Sounds like another man I know.
There's a big difference,lisbeth.
I reserve all my charm for one woman.
I've been called a lot of things,but never a playboy.
How many times are you gonna keep touching a hot stove? I mean,sooner or later,we all figure out that it hurts every time.
Let me remind you what it feels like to be in a good relationship.
I mean,how can you not tell? Meg ryan in the diner totally fake.
When it's real,the woman's eyes roll back in her head.
Every muscle goes taut.
Even the toes.
Especially the toes.
When a man knows what he's looking for, it's obvious.
Wait up!Wait up!Wait up! Hey,I am about to show you ladies what 300 yards looks like.
What happened to brunch with the in-laws? You know,I woke up this morning and thought I would rather be out here golfing with you guys and told janelle exactly that.
"Honey,I'm going to the course.
Give your parents my best.
" You tooknother one of karl's testosterone pills,didn't you? Yes,I absolutely did.
I actually kept a couple,put them in my safe at home.
For emergencies,like my anniversary.
Black Book Sold to Higher Bidder!Thanks for Playing The other shoe just dropped.
The blackmailer just sold dontrelle's appointment book on the open market.
I'm a dead man walking.
It might not be that bad.
You're a fashion icon,not a politician.
Maybe reveal won't want to lose you.
Maybe,but I'll most certainly lose lisbeth when she hears about this.
Ma3e you should be the one to tell her.
Yeah,yeah,yeah.
First rule of P.
R.
Control the story.
"Sweetie,how do you feel about being the girlfriend of a man "who's about to be in every tabloid for getting a truck-stop knobber from 'dude looks like a lady'?" Needs work.
Look,you guys all know lisbeth.
How do you think this particular truth is gonna hit her? Well,we already know how well lying's worked out for you.
Good point.
I'm gonna go find her.
The trutH.
So crazy,it just may work.
Hey,jackass,that's my cart! Sorry.
Pills are still in my system.
Okay,I know that,in our past, I've taken certain liberties with the truth that ended up hurting you.
No,let me take that back.
I lied,and I'm sorry for that.
But it was my intention that,this time,there would be no reason to lie, because I wasn't gonna do anything wrong.
And in a way,I didn'T.
But sometimes sometimes the past just comes back with a vengeance.
- Duncan,you need to stop.
- No,I can'T.
I'm in a zone.
I need to get this out.
So,this this thing I did wrong,it's humiliating.
Mean,really,really humiliating.
And the last thing I want to do is embarrass you,'cause I want this us to work this time.
I do.
Duncan,if you care for me,you'll leave through the kitchen door.
Please,I don't want a scene.
I'll get that.
duncan.
Thought that was your car out front.
Terrence,could you wait for me outside,please? I can't do it again,duncan.
I can't risk my heart with you.
I've let you break it too many times.
And it's not romantic anymore.
It's sad and pathetic.
So,please,just let me go.
- Where? - What? Where's he taking you? Just on a drive.
A drive is never just a drive.
You know that.
duncan.
Hold on.
I've got something of yours.
I received a curious e-mail yesterday.
The sender wrote that they had read on some gossip site that I might have reason to want to take down duncan collinsworth.
He offered to sell me a little black book for a quarter of a million.
I negotiated down to 100 grand.
Of course you did.
Ah,he shouldn't have let me know he was a disgruntled evidence clerk.
First rule of negotiation.
That's more than a year's salary.
So is that how you wormed your way back into lisbeth's life? Showed her my dirtyaundry? She doesn't know anything about it.
And now she never has to.
- What's the catch? - There is no catch.
you really don't get it,do you? I care for lisbeth.
I don't want her to be the butt of a thousand jokes.
All this is behind her now.
So this is yours.
And perhaps she's mine.
Big Shots Season 1 Episode 5 Proudly Presents