Big Shots (2007) s01e06 Episode Script
Car trouble
Previously on "big shots" it's not what it looks like.
I went to marla for advice.
I wanted to learn how to please you.
man I promisyou,there are some good ones still out there.
What's going on,duncan? I'll never lie to you again.
You're already breaking your promises.
I can make this right.
Let me remind you what it feels like to be in a good relationship.
I want this us to work this time.
I do.
If you care for me,you'll leave through the kitchen door.
Please,I don't want a scene.
Karl,was it my imagination, or did you start speaking in tongues about halfway through? Hebrew,I think.
Some of it came from my bar mitzvah.
- Wendy,are you in there? - Yes.
- What's she doing here? - Did you tell him yet? Tell me what? Oh,karl,it's like this I want to have a baby.
You wanted to have a kid,karl.
So what's the problem? It's not that simple.
We've tried before.
It ends badly.
How can sex ever end badly? Maybe not for you,but believe me,I've found a way.
Who knows?Maybe this is what you and wendy need.
Besides,there's something something sexy about making a baby.
Wow Who are you? Duncan,you're a legend.
Now "making a baby is sexy.
"What? I mean,didn't you go searching the globe for lisbeth? My god,I'm gonna have to live vicariously through karl.
Look,I didn't search the globe.
I heard that she was in saratoga with terrence for the races, and I was in the neighborhood.
So by "neighborhood," you mean "state"? - It was a day-trip.
- In a private jet.
I didn't hear about this.
Let me get this straight.
You flew to saratoga,but she wouldn see you? Yeah,he just missed her.
What are the odds lisbeth would date a guy with a faster jet? How long has she been gone?Two weeks? Cam's been organizing her mother's birthday, and she heard she's coming home tonight.
So,what's the plan of attack? I was thinking about trying something really radical.
Hosty.
See?There we go.
We lost him.
A mixer for business reporters? Couldn't we have just put out a press release? These people are barely housebroken.
I swear I just saw someone stuffing salami in his pocket.
Ed,you want to give her the same pep talk you just gave me? I'll be happy to.
You have maybe three friends on the board,including me.
You two are pushing them further and faster than they're inclined to go.
If you don't sell your utopian vision to the fourth estate and get some good publicity for the company, you're gonna see that support erode further.
Meaning? Unemployment.
I guess we better play to our strengths.
I'll chat up the men.
Don't forget to shake those moneymakers.
I'm a professional woman,james,a highly respected executive.
I never forget to shake my moneymakers.
Can I help you find something? "The legal environment of online commerce in the global marketplace" you know,my book club has been considering it,but I'm still on the fence.
It's a must-read.
A litt slow in the middle act,but when that company re-invents itself and captures the lion's share of the asian market,I got chills.
Very cute kids.
Don't sweet-talk me.
You're snooping around my office.
I thought I might get a private audience.
Or a summons for trespassing.
- Forgive me.
My name's - alex mason, host of cable television's most watched financial report,"money beat.
" I'm a fan.
Well,tell me,james walker, why are you so hell-bent on destroying this grand,old company? Wow,you cut to the chase.
It's my charm.
And you're on the record.
I will tell you exactly how I'm gonna run this place into the ground if you will have dinner with me.
Bold.
It's a "yes or no" question.
Then,yes,dinner it i don't tell me.
You were expecting me.
I was expecting a cab.
The alpha finally cashed iin.
The spider? My spider? Our spider? The site of cam's conception? The same,but,you know, let's agree not to share that information with our daughter.
End of an era.
So How was your trip? It was relaxing.
I hope that's not how you describe your trips away with me.
It's exactly how I describe them to other men who might not really want to hear all the dails.
I missed you.
I got your messages.
- They were very sweet.
- Sweet? I was hoping for,"they made me rethink everything.
" You're gonna have to settle for "sweet.
" - Go away with me.
- Duncan.
Terrence had his chance to make his case.
Let me take you away for your birthday, and I'll make mine.
We'll leave right after the party.
- Duncan,I n'T.
- "Can't"? I'm with terrence now.
Exclusively.
Since when since he showed up for the trip that you cancelled.
There's my ride.
I'm sorry,duncan.
I'm hoping we can be friends.
Your cab's waiting,lizzy.
I understand that,dash.
All I'm saying is that whether it's fair or not or whether she understands it or not, once in a while,you should let your sister take a longer turn on club penguin,okay? Thank you,buddy.
That's very nice of you.
You're the better man for it,okay? All right.
I love you,too.
Bye.
Walker's corporate reforms might play if he were selling backpacks online, but he's swimming in the deep end, and the neophyte seems ill-equipped To run a corporation the size of amerimart.
My recommendation is to dump this stock while the getting is good before this "pretender" loses your money for you.
Amerimart stock is going south fast.
Time to dump this underperformer.
After the break,I'll tell you more.
Proudly Presents Big shots Season 1 Episode 6 For those of you willing to ride out the wave in amerimart are you watching this? - That woman is a tot - shh.
A savior may arrive sooner rather than later.
More than a few board members are regretting elevating such an unseasoned executive into the top job.
Come on.
Get up.
We're gonna go get a softball bat.
We're gonna go down to that woman'studio, and we're gonna institute some corporate reforms on her skull.
But,of course,with all the hair spray,probably won't even make a dent.
- That wasn't good.
- "Wasn't good"? James,we're in a precarious position right now.
That wasn't even good enough to be considered bad.
The bitch crushed us! That really wasn't good.
Wendy,are my waffles shaped like little bunnies? I bought the waffle makerbefore the last miscarriage, - when I thought I'd be making waffles for - a baby? Are you sure you want to put yourse through that again? - You don't want a baby? - Of course I do.
You know that,but we've gone down this road before.
It's always ended up in tears and binge eating.
It's been five years since we tried.
Marla says there have been so many advances.
She read this thing in good housekeeping honey,i'm a C.
E.
O.
Of one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world.
I'm up on the advances.
But we've tried everything.
Oh,maybe you're right.
I got us in! That specialist I ld you about had a cancellation at 6:00 tonight.
"Specialist"? A fertility specialist.
It's a friend of my sister'S.
Can we just see him?What can it hurt? I have a dinner with the head of the A.
M.
A.
Tonight.
You don't have to come.
I'll be there.
I'll cancel the dinner.
Friends? She wants us to be friends? I mean,lisbeth and i have been a lot of things to each other boyfriend and girlfriend,husband and wife, friends withenefits,but just frids? I mean,w-we've never been just friends.
So what did you say to her? I ducked the question entirely.
Here's the thing.
When a woman asks you to be friends,what's it mean? Uh,"I would like to stop sleeping with you.
" Uh,"i'm seeing someone else.
" "I find you physically repulsive.
" Right.
Well,I'm not interested in being that guy, not with lisbeth.
We're all just victims of bad timing,you know what I mean? You are finally all-in with lisbeth,she's moving on.
Karl lets his mistress decide when he's gonna have a baby, and james finally meets somebody he's hot for, and she rips him a new one on national television.
So,what are you gonna do about lisbeth? What any man would do.
Change her mind.
Alex mason on line two.
Hello? James,hi,it's alex.
So,when are we getting together? Alex mason? The very alex mason who eviscerated me and my company on television yesterday? One in the same.
And,uh,let me get this straight.
You,uh you trash me on basic cable,and now you're calling to confirm our date? Hey,you wouldn't be where you are if you couldn't take the heat.
That was business,and what I'm talking about is pleasure.
Oh,my god.
What's that?Are you speechless? No,just,uh wondering how many times you've used that line before.
And did it work?Is it a date? Let's call it a rebuttal.
I'll see you again,but I'm warning you.
I'm gonna bore you to death with an ironclad defense of our new corporate strategy.
Ooh,dirty talk.
I like it.
Sorry.
I appreciate your waiting,doctor.
Of course.
But I'm afraid the news isn't good.
The situation with wendy's lpd hasn't changed.
I'm sad to report that wendy's chance of carrying a donor egg to term are almost nil.
Pumpkin pie latte,extra shot.
You know,you'd think it would count for something, being the heir to the throne,but,no,duncan wants me to earn it,just like he did.
Cam.
Cam! Where you been?I sent you an hour ago.
Sorry.
Uh,my fault.
I'm slowing cam down,making her explain everything.
Don't kiss his ass.
He'd bitch if I could snap my fingers and make it rain latte.
"His ass"?I thought I was kissing your ass.
This is who you hired? Where'd you find him?Facebook? You're not about to call a kettle black,are you? I was gonna go with the one about the apple and the minimal distance it falls from the tree.
Zack wells.
Duncan collinsworth.
- Nice to meet you,sir.
- You,too.
Are you a,uh,tropical-fish fan? Uh,it was a gift.
I haven't quite decided what to do with that thing.
I can set it up for you.
It's kind of a hobby.
Knock yourself out.
- Hi,cam.
- Mom? Can I have a moment alone with your father? Come on.
They're either gonna fight or something worse.
But either way,I do not want to be here to witness it.
Hey.
I woke up this morning to find a sports car in front of my house.
With a bow? They promised there'd be a big bow on it.
I told you I just wanted to be friends.
I buy all my friends birthday gifts.
Ask james or karl.
Duncan! I-I'm seeing another man.
I-I'm with terrence now.
You have to accept that.
No,I don'T.
Tell me you don't love me.
Tell me you don't love me anymore, and I'll quit chasing you.
Say it.
Say it,lizzy,and you'll never hear from me again.
No more cars,no more gifts, no more afternoons.
I'll let you and terrence get on with your lives.
If that's how you really feel you at least owe it to me to say the words.
Let me down easy.
I don't love you,duncan.
Is that clear enough? Listen,you're you're like a drug to me.
You make me feel amazing for an hour or for a weekend.
And then you let me down.
And I come crashing back to reality.
I'm a 40-year-old woman.
It's time for me to quit chasing that fairy tale.
You know something?Don't come to my birthday party.
I don't think it would be good for either one of us.
Because you know what?You're right.
Maybe we can't be friends.
Hi,honey,I'm home! Hope you got my message about dinner! You didn't get my message? Oh,karl,I'm so glad you're home.
We have had the most wonderful idea.
We're going to have our baby after all.
How? Marla's going to be our surrogate.
Upgrading to low-emissions factories is expensive in the short term,sure, but they pay for themselves in P.
R.
,In heating and cooling costs, - in tax incentives.
- All right,all right.
You're right.
I'm wrong.
Tomorrow I'm gonna move all of my assets to amerimart,I promise.
And I'm sure you'll let your loyal viewers in on this revelation.
Yes,if the research bears you out,I will.
Good.
I'm glad, but that's not why I agreed to dinner.
I know why you agreed to dinner because you're a man and there's no one a man would rather get on her back than the woman who raked him over the coals.
Wow,I like your conversational style.
It's early penthouse forum.
But I'm not quite sure why you'd go out with a business neophyte.
Because,like I told you,I have a gift for separating business and pleasure.
It's served me well so far.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered.
Really? Well,then you're not paying attention.
Are you really serious about this? You want marla to carry our baby? You'd rather our child be carried by someone we don't know? No,but I'd rather it not be carried by someone with the emotional stability of britney spears.
Look,marla will bring our child into this world with love.
And she's making a big sacrifice.
This won't be easy for her.
Why? She hates doctors,and she especially hates needles, and I guess she read online that surrogacy requires some shots.
It would be nice if you could talk to her.
She needs some reassuring on the medical front, and I know how much she respects you.
Karl? Sure.
I'll talk to her.
So,my ex-mistress is going to have my baby.
Anyone care to top that? I'm attracted to a woman I don't think I actually like.
Karl's still winning.
- Or losing.
- I don't know which.
Lisbeth told me she doesn't love me.
She doesn't want to see me, and she's exclusively with terrence.
How am I doing here? Keep going.
- Oh,yeah,and the car - car?What car? I bought her a car for her birthday.
I'm sorry.
You buy everyone a car? I feel so much less special.
She doesn't love me anymore.
She said so.
Wow.
This game used to be a lot more fun.
Keep 'em coming,jimmy.
Well,of course you never get carded.
It has nothing to do with looking mature.
It has everything to do with being a hot chick.
Untrue! Slander! It is the way I comport myself.
"Comport"? Did you did you say "comport"? You tied a cherry stem with your tongue while the boys of the meatpackers union cheered you on.
And did I get us free drinks? Yeah,too many,I think.
Uh,okay,this is me.
Um,you enjoy your cab ride.
I have the humbling prospect of needing both a bridge and a tunnel to get home.
No.
Come on.
The night's younG.
We can still go to a bar,and I know a great jukebox.
No,look,another time,all right? I got to get up early.
That is so incredibly lame.
That is so incredibly true.
Come here.
Okay.
Um,your coat.
Oh.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh,here,let me get that.
"The abc's for setting up your first aquarium.
" Yeah.
Not really a hobby,huh? You know,just,um, working the angles.
Oh don't give me that face.
What am I? The first guy who wanted to impress his boss? I'll let it slide this time.
Well,you're a champ.
Whoa.
Stop.
I mean,even after all that,she chooses terrence? Why?Because he's handsome and wealthy and - and a philanthropist.
- Stop helping.
I took her for granted.
Even when she was married to another guy, i always thought we'd end up together.
Now I lost her.
Did I mention I bought her a car? That's it.
I'm driving you home.
I don't need a car.
I'll just take a cab.
I'll call the cab and make sure he gets in it.
Lisbeth! Is anyone here? Lisbeth! I'm taking the car! You don't want it.
You don't love me.
She doesn't want you,baby.
She doesn't want you.
I'll take you.
Look at you.
You're a mess.
You need to take better care of yourself.
Duncan! Duncan.
Duncan.
Wake up,duncan!Come on! Yes,I need an ambulance.
My ex-husband's tried to kill himself.
He won't wake up! marla,there you are.
No briefs.
No hot-tubbing.
- Excuse me? - Kills your man seed.
Can't waste any.
No off-the-clock release.
Every last drop of mixworthy genetic material goes into a cup the lab.
Listen,wendy told me about your iue with needleS.
I can't hear you.
No,no,I'm just trying to ease your mind a bit.
It's not as bad as you think.
Really? - Are you sure? - Of course.
Here's how it works.
In order to get your uterus to accept the fertilized egg, you'll be given a ttery of injections.
"Battery of injections"? 12,to be precise.
A needle like this will be used.
The boys down at the lab call it "the intruder.
" That?T-t-that's what t-t-they'll use? Well,not necessarily.
Depending upon the thickness of the uterine wall, they may prefer to use "the scud.
" I can't do it.
But,honestly,I've talked to women who have been through it, and they say after the first five or six shots, they grow numb.
No.
No! No,no,no,no,no! I'm sorry,wendy.
I want to help,but I can'T.
I can't! What's going on? Just putting marla at ease.
Lisbeth? Duncan.
What were you thinking, killing yourself in my garage?You have a daughter.
She wants to see you grow old.
I want to see you grow old.
Were you punishing me?Was that it? Waiting for that ambulance,I thought I was gonna lose you.
I - passed out.
- Yeah.
You were unconscious.
No,I passed out because I was drunk, not because I was killing myself.
I came back for the car.
You were drunk? But thinking of you.
You know what?I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot.
What was I thinking? Duncan collinsworth loves himself far too much to kill himself.
No,can we go back to the part where you were stroking me and kissing me and making me feel better? I should let you rest.
Dunc.
How you doin',man? How you feelin',buddy? Nothing a bloody mary can't cure.
He was drunk.
He passed out.
So you didn't try to off yourself? You sound disappointed.
No wonder the nurse said they're gonna kick you out in an hour.
Yeah,they need the bed for someone who's actuly sick.
Hey,where's the love?No gifts? For what?For passing out? Come on.
You didn't know that.
I'll tell you what.
I'll take care of your parking.
I'll hold your hand while you're vomiting in the parking lot.
Oh,by the way,your suicide attempt's all over the news,you know.
Yeah,you can actually download lisbeth's 911 call on the internet.
Ugh,my company's gonna love that publicity.
Well,you seem to be in a pretty good mood for someone who just had a near-death experience.
Because I just learned something very important.
- And that is? - She can deny it all she wants but lisbeth still loves me.
Oh,listen,I have to tell you something.
What,now? Yes,sad.
Here's the thing.
What,you're not gonna respect me in the morning? No,actually,if we do this,I can't issue any kind of retraction on my story.
It's kind of a fuzzy ethical line,I know, but I can't sleep with you and then tell my viewers,"guess what.
I was wrong.
His company is in great shape.
" Not that I'm necessarily advocating this position, but what happens if we stop now? Well,like I said,I would dig back into it, and if everything you say is true, I would report it.
But for whatever it's worth,my vote is that we keep doing this.
Mine,too.
I just I just feel like I owe our stockholders a vote,as well.
Oh,god.
Sex or stock prices? Now,that's an ethical dilemma they never taught in business school.
- New idea.
- What? I won't take back my report, but you'll come on the show,and you'll present your case to john Q.
Investor yourself.
That way,you can have it all.
You're right.
That is a fuzzy line.
So,what's it gonna be,boy?Yes or no? Did you just quote meat loaf? It seemed appropriate.
- That's a good answer.
- Yeah.
So if I'm hearing you correctly,the board is very concerned about the bad publicity a suicide attempt engenders.
Yeah,well,I'll try to take that into consideration the next time i don't try to kill myself.
Cam! I need your help picking out a suit.
I can't believe it's come to this.
You're asking me for fashion advice.
Well,not that I trust your taste.
I thought you might have insider knowledge on which one yourom likes better.
Hold on.
What does it matter which one she would like better? You were uninvited,remember? The carbon monoxide scramble your brain? You should wear the prada.
Excuse me? You,uh you wore the valentino to the opening night of "spring awakening" last year.
You were with that swimsuit model.
I was? Yeah,your picture was in vanity fair.
If I saw it,there's a good chance your ex-wife saw it, and I don't think you want her thinking about that.
The black suit it is.
Okay,what game are you playing here? What are you trying to pull? What? Do you study the suits duncan wears in all of his publicity stills? I,uh I just happened to see that one.
I've got a good memory.
You're like duncan's personal eve harrington.
I don't know if you just want his job,or maybe you're in love with him.
Is this is this because I didn't kiss you? Yeah.
You keep telling yourself that.
You know what? It really doesn't matter what you're up to anymore.
You're fired.
- Yes? - Ed decker here to see you.
Do you know where your boy is right now? - Uh,should I? - Yeah,you should.
He's about to make a fatal rookie mistake.
I just heard from a source of mine on "money beat.
" James is going on alex mason's show today.
Ed,james can handle himself.
Alex mason has turned captains of industry into punching bags on that show.
She sweet-talks them into an interview.
They think they're sitting down with a friend,and then the knives come out.
Stock prices nose-dive after one of those interviews.
By the time she's done with james, the board is gonna have security waiting in his office to show him the door.
You got to find him and get him out of there.
You're gonna play nice with me,right? I think that you can handle little ol' me.
You're gonna be great.
3 2 hello,I'm alex mason,and you are watching "money beat.
" Today it is my pleasure to introduce to you newly minted amerimart C.
E.
O.
James walker.
A couple of days ago,I was critical of amerimart's radical corporate reforms.
I thought it only fair to have mr.
Walker on the show to defend himself and his company.
So,mr.
Walker, ever since you've taken the reins at amerimart, every decision you've made has run counter to proven american business practices.
I think it's a little too much too soon, and,judging by the drop in amerimart's stock prices, I would say that the public would take my side.
Mr.
Walker? Oh,I'm sorry.
I didn't hear a question in there.
I'll be more direct.
Why should a smart investor stick with amerimart stock while you're approaching your duties like a dewey-eyed idealist, as opposed to a pragmatic businessman? - Trend-ex.
- Excuse me? Trend-ex.
You told your audience to dump their trend-ex when it was $7.
50.
This morning,trend-ex traded for $16 a share.
$9 this morning.
So if your viewers want to drop their amerimart stock based on your "expert" analysis, I'm sure they will find plenty of savvy investors who are ready to buy.
Investors,unlike yourself,who want to stay ahead of the curve, rather than betting the fact that dinosaurs aren't facing extinction.
Yes! Any other questions,alex? What,are you here to gloat? No,I want to find out when I can see you again.
After what you just did? That was business.
This is pleasure.
Of all people,you should know the difference.
Wendy? Up here.
Babe? Welcome home.
Ohh!Wow.
Uh,what's all this? What does it look like? It looks like you're happy to see me.
I am,karl.
Ooh,I aM.
Well,this is,uh,so,uh,so nice.
I want a baby so much,karl.
And I want to give you one,but,honey,we've been down that road before.
Tell him about the boy's name you've picked out.
Sebastian.
Do you love it? What is marla doing in our bedroom? Well,that's just it,honey.
The doctor called.
He said my eggs aren't viable for surrogacy.
But I still want a baby,and I want that baby to be at least partly us.
Now,marla's volunteered to be our surrogate, but she's gonna have to get pregnant the old-fashioned way.
"The old-fashioned way"? I'm ready to take one for the team.
I'll leave you two alone.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you? Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just have a moment of everyone's time, I would like to thank cameron, first of all,for making this party happen.
Thank you,cameron.
Thank you.
And additionally additionally for allowing me a couple of moments to present a toast to our birthday girl.
Where ishe?There she is.
Happy birthday,lisbeth.
Happy birthday.
Thank you Now,clearly all of you,her family and friends, you revel in your appreciation of her every day, but me,well,I've spent a lot of my time,too much time Ducan I know you did,but more importantly,I know why you did, and I'm here to fix it.
You can'T.
It's too late.
You can't do this to me again.
But I know what it is now.
That thing you were feeling my hesitation and fear it's gone.
I'm not gonna be that guy anymore.
I know what I want.
I've never been more sure about anything.
Lisbeth will you marry me again? You can say you don't lo me,but I know you do, because when you thought I was gonna die in the hospital duncan,why now? - Because I'm sure.
- No,no,I mean why now? Our timing.
I want you,and you're not interested, and you want me,and what? Oh,duncan.
Which is why I am happy to report that on the drive here tonight, lisbeth accepted my proposal.
Thus making me the luckiest man on earth.
Thank you,ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
You're the fairy tale,duncan.
Hey,you got a minute? Not really,but sure.
Yeah,fine.
What's on your mind? All right,look,I just came back here today because I wanted to confess,okay? I,uh I did take the job 'cause I wanted to get close to duncan collinsworth.
Yeah?Well,you're not the first.
Look,I'm I'm not gay,okay? I it's actually wrong how attracted I am to you, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Okay,here's the thing.
We've got something in common,okay? You're not the only one here trying to follow in your father's footsteps.
Duncan's my dad,too.
I went to marla for advice.
I wanted to learn how to please you.
man I promisyou,there are some good ones still out there.
What's going on,duncan? I'll never lie to you again.
You're already breaking your promises.
I can make this right.
Let me remind you what it feels like to be in a good relationship.
I want this us to work this time.
I do.
If you care for me,you'll leave through the kitchen door.
Please,I don't want a scene.
Karl,was it my imagination, or did you start speaking in tongues about halfway through? Hebrew,I think.
Some of it came from my bar mitzvah.
- Wendy,are you in there? - Yes.
- What's she doing here? - Did you tell him yet? Tell me what? Oh,karl,it's like this I want to have a baby.
You wanted to have a kid,karl.
So what's the problem? It's not that simple.
We've tried before.
It ends badly.
How can sex ever end badly? Maybe not for you,but believe me,I've found a way.
Who knows?Maybe this is what you and wendy need.
Besides,there's something something sexy about making a baby.
Wow Who are you? Duncan,you're a legend.
Now "making a baby is sexy.
"What? I mean,didn't you go searching the globe for lisbeth? My god,I'm gonna have to live vicariously through karl.
Look,I didn't search the globe.
I heard that she was in saratoga with terrence for the races, and I was in the neighborhood.
So by "neighborhood," you mean "state"? - It was a day-trip.
- In a private jet.
I didn't hear about this.
Let me get this straight.
You flew to saratoga,but she wouldn see you? Yeah,he just missed her.
What are the odds lisbeth would date a guy with a faster jet? How long has she been gone?Two weeks? Cam's been organizing her mother's birthday, and she heard she's coming home tonight.
So,what's the plan of attack? I was thinking about trying something really radical.
Hosty.
See?There we go.
We lost him.
A mixer for business reporters? Couldn't we have just put out a press release? These people are barely housebroken.
I swear I just saw someone stuffing salami in his pocket.
Ed,you want to give her the same pep talk you just gave me? I'll be happy to.
You have maybe three friends on the board,including me.
You two are pushing them further and faster than they're inclined to go.
If you don't sell your utopian vision to the fourth estate and get some good publicity for the company, you're gonna see that support erode further.
Meaning? Unemployment.
I guess we better play to our strengths.
I'll chat up the men.
Don't forget to shake those moneymakers.
I'm a professional woman,james,a highly respected executive.
I never forget to shake my moneymakers.
Can I help you find something? "The legal environment of online commerce in the global marketplace" you know,my book club has been considering it,but I'm still on the fence.
It's a must-read.
A litt slow in the middle act,but when that company re-invents itself and captures the lion's share of the asian market,I got chills.
Very cute kids.
Don't sweet-talk me.
You're snooping around my office.
I thought I might get a private audience.
Or a summons for trespassing.
- Forgive me.
My name's - alex mason, host of cable television's most watched financial report,"money beat.
" I'm a fan.
Well,tell me,james walker, why are you so hell-bent on destroying this grand,old company? Wow,you cut to the chase.
It's my charm.
And you're on the record.
I will tell you exactly how I'm gonna run this place into the ground if you will have dinner with me.
Bold.
It's a "yes or no" question.
Then,yes,dinner it i don't tell me.
You were expecting me.
I was expecting a cab.
The alpha finally cashed iin.
The spider? My spider? Our spider? The site of cam's conception? The same,but,you know, let's agree not to share that information with our daughter.
End of an era.
So How was your trip? It was relaxing.
I hope that's not how you describe your trips away with me.
It's exactly how I describe them to other men who might not really want to hear all the dails.
I missed you.
I got your messages.
- They were very sweet.
- Sweet? I was hoping for,"they made me rethink everything.
" You're gonna have to settle for "sweet.
" - Go away with me.
- Duncan.
Terrence had his chance to make his case.
Let me take you away for your birthday, and I'll make mine.
We'll leave right after the party.
- Duncan,I n'T.
- "Can't"? I'm with terrence now.
Exclusively.
Since when since he showed up for the trip that you cancelled.
There's my ride.
I'm sorry,duncan.
I'm hoping we can be friends.
Your cab's waiting,lizzy.
I understand that,dash.
All I'm saying is that whether it's fair or not or whether she understands it or not, once in a while,you should let your sister take a longer turn on club penguin,okay? Thank you,buddy.
That's very nice of you.
You're the better man for it,okay? All right.
I love you,too.
Bye.
Walker's corporate reforms might play if he were selling backpacks online, but he's swimming in the deep end, and the neophyte seems ill-equipped To run a corporation the size of amerimart.
My recommendation is to dump this stock while the getting is good before this "pretender" loses your money for you.
Amerimart stock is going south fast.
Time to dump this underperformer.
After the break,I'll tell you more.
Proudly Presents Big shots Season 1 Episode 6 For those of you willing to ride out the wave in amerimart are you watching this? - That woman is a tot - shh.
A savior may arrive sooner rather than later.
More than a few board members are regretting elevating such an unseasoned executive into the top job.
Come on.
Get up.
We're gonna go get a softball bat.
We're gonna go down to that woman'studio, and we're gonna institute some corporate reforms on her skull.
But,of course,with all the hair spray,probably won't even make a dent.
- That wasn't good.
- "Wasn't good"? James,we're in a precarious position right now.
That wasn't even good enough to be considered bad.
The bitch crushed us! That really wasn't good.
Wendy,are my waffles shaped like little bunnies? I bought the waffle makerbefore the last miscarriage, - when I thought I'd be making waffles for - a baby? Are you sure you want to put yourse through that again? - You don't want a baby? - Of course I do.
You know that,but we've gone down this road before.
It's always ended up in tears and binge eating.
It's been five years since we tried.
Marla says there have been so many advances.
She read this thing in good housekeeping honey,i'm a C.
E.
O.
Of one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world.
I'm up on the advances.
But we've tried everything.
Oh,maybe you're right.
I got us in! That specialist I ld you about had a cancellation at 6:00 tonight.
"Specialist"? A fertility specialist.
It's a friend of my sister'S.
Can we just see him?What can it hurt? I have a dinner with the head of the A.
M.
A.
Tonight.
You don't have to come.
I'll be there.
I'll cancel the dinner.
Friends? She wants us to be friends? I mean,lisbeth and i have been a lot of things to each other boyfriend and girlfriend,husband and wife, friends withenefits,but just frids? I mean,w-we've never been just friends.
So what did you say to her? I ducked the question entirely.
Here's the thing.
When a woman asks you to be friends,what's it mean? Uh,"I would like to stop sleeping with you.
" Uh,"i'm seeing someone else.
" "I find you physically repulsive.
" Right.
Well,I'm not interested in being that guy, not with lisbeth.
We're all just victims of bad timing,you know what I mean? You are finally all-in with lisbeth,she's moving on.
Karl lets his mistress decide when he's gonna have a baby, and james finally meets somebody he's hot for, and she rips him a new one on national television.
So,what are you gonna do about lisbeth? What any man would do.
Change her mind.
Alex mason on line two.
Hello? James,hi,it's alex.
So,when are we getting together? Alex mason? The very alex mason who eviscerated me and my company on television yesterday? One in the same.
And,uh,let me get this straight.
You,uh you trash me on basic cable,and now you're calling to confirm our date? Hey,you wouldn't be where you are if you couldn't take the heat.
That was business,and what I'm talking about is pleasure.
Oh,my god.
What's that?Are you speechless? No,just,uh wondering how many times you've used that line before.
And did it work?Is it a date? Let's call it a rebuttal.
I'll see you again,but I'm warning you.
I'm gonna bore you to death with an ironclad defense of our new corporate strategy.
Ooh,dirty talk.
I like it.
Sorry.
I appreciate your waiting,doctor.
Of course.
But I'm afraid the news isn't good.
The situation with wendy's lpd hasn't changed.
I'm sad to report that wendy's chance of carrying a donor egg to term are almost nil.
Pumpkin pie latte,extra shot.
You know,you'd think it would count for something, being the heir to the throne,but,no,duncan wants me to earn it,just like he did.
Cam.
Cam! Where you been?I sent you an hour ago.
Sorry.
Uh,my fault.
I'm slowing cam down,making her explain everything.
Don't kiss his ass.
He'd bitch if I could snap my fingers and make it rain latte.
"His ass"?I thought I was kissing your ass.
This is who you hired? Where'd you find him?Facebook? You're not about to call a kettle black,are you? I was gonna go with the one about the apple and the minimal distance it falls from the tree.
Zack wells.
Duncan collinsworth.
- Nice to meet you,sir.
- You,too.
Are you a,uh,tropical-fish fan? Uh,it was a gift.
I haven't quite decided what to do with that thing.
I can set it up for you.
It's kind of a hobby.
Knock yourself out.
- Hi,cam.
- Mom? Can I have a moment alone with your father? Come on.
They're either gonna fight or something worse.
But either way,I do not want to be here to witness it.
Hey.
I woke up this morning to find a sports car in front of my house.
With a bow? They promised there'd be a big bow on it.
I told you I just wanted to be friends.
I buy all my friends birthday gifts.
Ask james or karl.
Duncan! I-I'm seeing another man.
I-I'm with terrence now.
You have to accept that.
No,I don'T.
Tell me you don't love me.
Tell me you don't love me anymore, and I'll quit chasing you.
Say it.
Say it,lizzy,and you'll never hear from me again.
No more cars,no more gifts, no more afternoons.
I'll let you and terrence get on with your lives.
If that's how you really feel you at least owe it to me to say the words.
Let me down easy.
I don't love you,duncan.
Is that clear enough? Listen,you're you're like a drug to me.
You make me feel amazing for an hour or for a weekend.
And then you let me down.
And I come crashing back to reality.
I'm a 40-year-old woman.
It's time for me to quit chasing that fairy tale.
You know something?Don't come to my birthday party.
I don't think it would be good for either one of us.
Because you know what?You're right.
Maybe we can't be friends.
Hi,honey,I'm home! Hope you got my message about dinner! You didn't get my message? Oh,karl,I'm so glad you're home.
We have had the most wonderful idea.
We're going to have our baby after all.
How? Marla's going to be our surrogate.
Upgrading to low-emissions factories is expensive in the short term,sure, but they pay for themselves in P.
R.
,In heating and cooling costs, - in tax incentives.
- All right,all right.
You're right.
I'm wrong.
Tomorrow I'm gonna move all of my assets to amerimart,I promise.
And I'm sure you'll let your loyal viewers in on this revelation.
Yes,if the research bears you out,I will.
Good.
I'm glad, but that's not why I agreed to dinner.
I know why you agreed to dinner because you're a man and there's no one a man would rather get on her back than the woman who raked him over the coals.
Wow,I like your conversational style.
It's early penthouse forum.
But I'm not quite sure why you'd go out with a business neophyte.
Because,like I told you,I have a gift for separating business and pleasure.
It's served me well so far.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered.
Really? Well,then you're not paying attention.
Are you really serious about this? You want marla to carry our baby? You'd rather our child be carried by someone we don't know? No,but I'd rather it not be carried by someone with the emotional stability of britney spears.
Look,marla will bring our child into this world with love.
And she's making a big sacrifice.
This won't be easy for her.
Why? She hates doctors,and she especially hates needles, and I guess she read online that surrogacy requires some shots.
It would be nice if you could talk to her.
She needs some reassuring on the medical front, and I know how much she respects you.
Karl? Sure.
I'll talk to her.
So,my ex-mistress is going to have my baby.
Anyone care to top that? I'm attracted to a woman I don't think I actually like.
Karl's still winning.
- Or losing.
- I don't know which.
Lisbeth told me she doesn't love me.
She doesn't want to see me, and she's exclusively with terrence.
How am I doing here? Keep going.
- Oh,yeah,and the car - car?What car? I bought her a car for her birthday.
I'm sorry.
You buy everyone a car? I feel so much less special.
She doesn't love me anymore.
She said so.
Wow.
This game used to be a lot more fun.
Keep 'em coming,jimmy.
Well,of course you never get carded.
It has nothing to do with looking mature.
It has everything to do with being a hot chick.
Untrue! Slander! It is the way I comport myself.
"Comport"? Did you did you say "comport"? You tied a cherry stem with your tongue while the boys of the meatpackers union cheered you on.
And did I get us free drinks? Yeah,too many,I think.
Uh,okay,this is me.
Um,you enjoy your cab ride.
I have the humbling prospect of needing both a bridge and a tunnel to get home.
No.
Come on.
The night's younG.
We can still go to a bar,and I know a great jukebox.
No,look,another time,all right? I got to get up early.
That is so incredibly lame.
That is so incredibly true.
Come here.
Okay.
Um,your coat.
Oh.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh,here,let me get that.
"The abc's for setting up your first aquarium.
" Yeah.
Not really a hobby,huh? You know,just,um, working the angles.
Oh don't give me that face.
What am I? The first guy who wanted to impress his boss? I'll let it slide this time.
Well,you're a champ.
Whoa.
Stop.
I mean,even after all that,she chooses terrence? Why?Because he's handsome and wealthy and - and a philanthropist.
- Stop helping.
I took her for granted.
Even when she was married to another guy, i always thought we'd end up together.
Now I lost her.
Did I mention I bought her a car? That's it.
I'm driving you home.
I don't need a car.
I'll just take a cab.
I'll call the cab and make sure he gets in it.
Lisbeth! Is anyone here? Lisbeth! I'm taking the car! You don't want it.
You don't love me.
She doesn't want you,baby.
She doesn't want you.
I'll take you.
Look at you.
You're a mess.
You need to take better care of yourself.
Duncan! Duncan.
Duncan.
Wake up,duncan!Come on! Yes,I need an ambulance.
My ex-husband's tried to kill himself.
He won't wake up! marla,there you are.
No briefs.
No hot-tubbing.
- Excuse me? - Kills your man seed.
Can't waste any.
No off-the-clock release.
Every last drop of mixworthy genetic material goes into a cup the lab.
Listen,wendy told me about your iue with needleS.
I can't hear you.
No,no,I'm just trying to ease your mind a bit.
It's not as bad as you think.
Really? - Are you sure? - Of course.
Here's how it works.
In order to get your uterus to accept the fertilized egg, you'll be given a ttery of injections.
"Battery of injections"? 12,to be precise.
A needle like this will be used.
The boys down at the lab call it "the intruder.
" That?T-t-that's what t-t-they'll use? Well,not necessarily.
Depending upon the thickness of the uterine wall, they may prefer to use "the scud.
" I can't do it.
But,honestly,I've talked to women who have been through it, and they say after the first five or six shots, they grow numb.
No.
No! No,no,no,no,no! I'm sorry,wendy.
I want to help,but I can'T.
I can't! What's going on? Just putting marla at ease.
Lisbeth? Duncan.
What were you thinking, killing yourself in my garage?You have a daughter.
She wants to see you grow old.
I want to see you grow old.
Were you punishing me?Was that it? Waiting for that ambulance,I thought I was gonna lose you.
I - passed out.
- Yeah.
You were unconscious.
No,I passed out because I was drunk, not because I was killing myself.
I came back for the car.
You were drunk? But thinking of you.
You know what?I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot.
What was I thinking? Duncan collinsworth loves himself far too much to kill himself.
No,can we go back to the part where you were stroking me and kissing me and making me feel better? I should let you rest.
Dunc.
How you doin',man? How you feelin',buddy? Nothing a bloody mary can't cure.
He was drunk.
He passed out.
So you didn't try to off yourself? You sound disappointed.
No wonder the nurse said they're gonna kick you out in an hour.
Yeah,they need the bed for someone who's actuly sick.
Hey,where's the love?No gifts? For what?For passing out? Come on.
You didn't know that.
I'll tell you what.
I'll take care of your parking.
I'll hold your hand while you're vomiting in the parking lot.
Oh,by the way,your suicide attempt's all over the news,you know.
Yeah,you can actually download lisbeth's 911 call on the internet.
Ugh,my company's gonna love that publicity.
Well,you seem to be in a pretty good mood for someone who just had a near-death experience.
Because I just learned something very important.
- And that is? - She can deny it all she wants but lisbeth still loves me.
Oh,listen,I have to tell you something.
What,now? Yes,sad.
Here's the thing.
What,you're not gonna respect me in the morning? No,actually,if we do this,I can't issue any kind of retraction on my story.
It's kind of a fuzzy ethical line,I know, but I can't sleep with you and then tell my viewers,"guess what.
I was wrong.
His company is in great shape.
" Not that I'm necessarily advocating this position, but what happens if we stop now? Well,like I said,I would dig back into it, and if everything you say is true, I would report it.
But for whatever it's worth,my vote is that we keep doing this.
Mine,too.
I just I just feel like I owe our stockholders a vote,as well.
Oh,god.
Sex or stock prices? Now,that's an ethical dilemma they never taught in business school.
- New idea.
- What? I won't take back my report, but you'll come on the show,and you'll present your case to john Q.
Investor yourself.
That way,you can have it all.
You're right.
That is a fuzzy line.
So,what's it gonna be,boy?Yes or no? Did you just quote meat loaf? It seemed appropriate.
- That's a good answer.
- Yeah.
So if I'm hearing you correctly,the board is very concerned about the bad publicity a suicide attempt engenders.
Yeah,well,I'll try to take that into consideration the next time i don't try to kill myself.
Cam! I need your help picking out a suit.
I can't believe it's come to this.
You're asking me for fashion advice.
Well,not that I trust your taste.
I thought you might have insider knowledge on which one yourom likes better.
Hold on.
What does it matter which one she would like better? You were uninvited,remember? The carbon monoxide scramble your brain? You should wear the prada.
Excuse me? You,uh you wore the valentino to the opening night of "spring awakening" last year.
You were with that swimsuit model.
I was? Yeah,your picture was in vanity fair.
If I saw it,there's a good chance your ex-wife saw it, and I don't think you want her thinking about that.
The black suit it is.
Okay,what game are you playing here? What are you trying to pull? What? Do you study the suits duncan wears in all of his publicity stills? I,uh I just happened to see that one.
I've got a good memory.
You're like duncan's personal eve harrington.
I don't know if you just want his job,or maybe you're in love with him.
Is this is this because I didn't kiss you? Yeah.
You keep telling yourself that.
You know what? It really doesn't matter what you're up to anymore.
You're fired.
- Yes? - Ed decker here to see you.
Do you know where your boy is right now? - Uh,should I? - Yeah,you should.
He's about to make a fatal rookie mistake.
I just heard from a source of mine on "money beat.
" James is going on alex mason's show today.
Ed,james can handle himself.
Alex mason has turned captains of industry into punching bags on that show.
She sweet-talks them into an interview.
They think they're sitting down with a friend,and then the knives come out.
Stock prices nose-dive after one of those interviews.
By the time she's done with james, the board is gonna have security waiting in his office to show him the door.
You got to find him and get him out of there.
You're gonna play nice with me,right? I think that you can handle little ol' me.
You're gonna be great.
3 2 hello,I'm alex mason,and you are watching "money beat.
" Today it is my pleasure to introduce to you newly minted amerimart C.
E.
O.
James walker.
A couple of days ago,I was critical of amerimart's radical corporate reforms.
I thought it only fair to have mr.
Walker on the show to defend himself and his company.
So,mr.
Walker, ever since you've taken the reins at amerimart, every decision you've made has run counter to proven american business practices.
I think it's a little too much too soon, and,judging by the drop in amerimart's stock prices, I would say that the public would take my side.
Mr.
Walker? Oh,I'm sorry.
I didn't hear a question in there.
I'll be more direct.
Why should a smart investor stick with amerimart stock while you're approaching your duties like a dewey-eyed idealist, as opposed to a pragmatic businessman? - Trend-ex.
- Excuse me? Trend-ex.
You told your audience to dump their trend-ex when it was $7.
50.
This morning,trend-ex traded for $16 a share.
$9 this morning.
So if your viewers want to drop their amerimart stock based on your "expert" analysis, I'm sure they will find plenty of savvy investors who are ready to buy.
Investors,unlike yourself,who want to stay ahead of the curve, rather than betting the fact that dinosaurs aren't facing extinction.
Yes! Any other questions,alex? What,are you here to gloat? No,I want to find out when I can see you again.
After what you just did? That was business.
This is pleasure.
Of all people,you should know the difference.
Wendy? Up here.
Babe? Welcome home.
Ohh!Wow.
Uh,what's all this? What does it look like? It looks like you're happy to see me.
I am,karl.
Ooh,I aM.
Well,this is,uh,so,uh,so nice.
I want a baby so much,karl.
And I want to give you one,but,honey,we've been down that road before.
Tell him about the boy's name you've picked out.
Sebastian.
Do you love it? What is marla doing in our bedroom? Well,that's just it,honey.
The doctor called.
He said my eggs aren't viable for surrogacy.
But I still want a baby,and I want that baby to be at least partly us.
Now,marla's volunteered to be our surrogate, but she's gonna have to get pregnant the old-fashioned way.
"The old-fashioned way"? I'm ready to take one for the team.
I'll leave you two alone.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you? Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just have a moment of everyone's time, I would like to thank cameron, first of all,for making this party happen.
Thank you,cameron.
Thank you.
And additionally additionally for allowing me a couple of moments to present a toast to our birthday girl.
Where ishe?There she is.
Happy birthday,lisbeth.
Happy birthday.
Thank you Now,clearly all of you,her family and friends, you revel in your appreciation of her every day, but me,well,I've spent a lot of my time,too much time Ducan I know you did,but more importantly,I know why you did, and I'm here to fix it.
You can'T.
It's too late.
You can't do this to me again.
But I know what it is now.
That thing you were feeling my hesitation and fear it's gone.
I'm not gonna be that guy anymore.
I know what I want.
I've never been more sure about anything.
Lisbeth will you marry me again? You can say you don't lo me,but I know you do, because when you thought I was gonna die in the hospital duncan,why now? - Because I'm sure.
- No,no,I mean why now? Our timing.
I want you,and you're not interested, and you want me,and what? Oh,duncan.
Which is why I am happy to report that on the drive here tonight, lisbeth accepted my proposal.
Thus making me the luckiest man on earth.
Thank you,ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
You're the fairy tale,duncan.
Hey,you got a minute? Not really,but sure.
Yeah,fine.
What's on your mind? All right,look,I just came back here today because I wanted to confess,okay? I,uh I did take the job 'cause I wanted to get close to duncan collinsworth.
Yeah?Well,you're not the first.
Look,I'm I'm not gay,okay? I it's actually wrong how attracted I am to you, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Okay,here's the thing.
We've got something in common,okay? You're not the only one here trying to follow in your father's footsteps.
Duncan's my dad,too.