Big Shots (2007) s01e09 Episode Script
The Better Man
Previously on "b shots" I kissed you.
It was a moment.
So it shouldn't be weird.
Oliver and I -- we're back together.
He left his wife.
You cannot go around punching people in the face, especially people I'm about to marry.
Don't marry him,lizzy.
I got my job back.
How? I have no idea.
He is my son.
I got a call from the lab this morning.
There's all these weird inconsistencies in his stories.
Zack: Cam,i need to talk to you.
Cam.
Open the door.
Cam,come on.
Listen to me,all right? I-I-I know you know about the dna test, and it's -- it's cool,all right? It's a relief,actually.
What makes a person falsify a dna test, pretend to be somebody they're not? Okay,look,I-I-I admit it,all right? I-I lied about duncan being my father,and -- and I messed with the test,but but this is who I am,cam,all right? You know,the -- the guy you've come to know and tolerate.
No offense,zack, but I think your impressive run of trading on your charm has come to an end, so I'd appreciate it if you'd back off.
Oh,cam,come on! You're not actually scared of me,are you? Look,I don't -- I don't think that thing's gonna start anyway.
Did you do something to my car? You mean,what,with my extensive knowledge of auto mechanics? Let me see your hands.
See? Look -- no grease,no dirt,all right? Cam,please.
I owe you an explanation, and if there's any way we can do it not through glass,even better.
Come on.
10 minutes.
10 minutes.
Otherwise,you and i are going to christen my can of manhattan girl mace.
No,not tiger lilies.
I said calla lilies.
Duncan.
Bad time? No,no.
Just -- come in.
Uh,no,I'm here.
It's -- it's for my wedding.
No,I don't want tiger lilies.
I don't even like tiger lilies.
You know what?I'll call you back.
Lisbeth.
Lisbeth collinsworth.
Never did get around to changing your name,did you? Never did.
So,I never got my invitation.
Must have got lost in the mail.
Actually,I never sent it.
I didn't think you'd want to come.
Come on.
Give up the opportunity for free booze and really profound self-pity? It's me,lizzy.
You know,I really would love for you to be there.
I know we've had our ups and downs.
I preferred our ins and outs.
Look,whether I make it or not I'm really happy for you,lizzy.
And,um I wanted you to have this.
Early wedding present? More like "I'll always love you,"even though you're marrying someone else, but look what a good guy I am" gift.
It's beautiful.
Remember when we first got married,you were always trying to grow those calla lilies.
Yeah.
Thank you,duncan.
This is,um it's unexpected.
Well,I should probably go.
Congratulations,again.
So,who is your father,really? No idea.
Currently,the only person I know for sure it's not is duncan, and I didn't know that until I got the dna test back.
So,convincing duncan that you were his son was just a shortcut to the life you wanted? "A shortcut"?No.
Look,it felt nice to have a dad,you know? To -- to feel like I could belong to something I could be proud of,all right? You,of all people,should understand that,cam.
Look do you mind letting me be the one to tell him? When? Tomorrow,first thing.
First thing.
Or I'll have to.
The return of the king! Return of the king.
It's good to be the king.
First der of business -- conquer asia.
Tomorrow's your first day back at reveal.
Shouldn't you -- I don't know -- unpack first? No time.
Tomorrow,8:32 A.
M.
Riko mara, natalie portman of the far east,arrives at jfk on a flight from tokyo.
If I can sign her as reveal's asian spokesmodel, I'll have my foot in the door.
How did you get her on the plane? You just found out you got your job back four hours ago.
She's not flying out here to meet you,is she? Competition's flying her in.
I don't get it.
How do you plan to get her -- this is me,karl.
This is what I do.
I'm a man of action.
I make things happen.
Well,even men of inaction sometimes catch a break.
Wendy is accompanying marla to her high-school reunion this week, meaning,for seven glorious days,I have the house all to myself.
No well-meaning wife,no crazy former mistress.
Just me,a remote control,and every trans fat known to man.
We need to find a new club.
There he is -- the man of the hour.
Hear you got your job back.
News travels fast.
Oh,just finger on the pulse.
That's all.
Yeah,I'm pleased for you.
Really? Even after going through all that trouble to get me fired? I got you fired? From what I heard,you violated your morality clause.
Gentleman's name was,what,dontrelle? Ethics lessons from a corporate raider.
How many people you put out of work today,terrence? Oh,that'll get your attention.
Yeah,yeah.
Janelle changed my voice-mail alert.
Trying to expose me to culture.
She getting you to jump through hoops for your anniversary? Well,she just wants the kitchen remodel finished, and if that doesn't get done, I have sworn to her that I will impale the contractor's severed head on thepikes of our driveway gate.
All right,gentlemen,duty calls.
I'm gonna go make my wife happy.
Good luck with that,sisyphus.
No,I promise,I will call the contractor and find out, to the centimeter,how far up his butt his head could possibly be.
I'll even bring my own tape measure.
No,I'm coming into a tunnel.
I'm losing you.
I'm losing you.
Tell me you're not a killer.
I've had a bad enough day already.
Come on.
Killers don't drive expensive german cars.
Tell that to the nazis.
Um,hi.
Looks like you got a flat.
You're good.
Maybe we should have it towed to the garage where you work.
Um,actually,I'm not a mechanic.
No! No,I'm a crisis-management consultant.
That can't be a real job.
[ Sis .]
Proof.
This proves nothing,unless maybe my little brother really was an official bikini inspector.
Hold on.
I want them to find this in my possession when a jogger stumbles over my dismembered parts.
[ Car alarm chirps .]
There you are.
I'm so sorry,miss mara.
My assistant put down the wrong terminal on my itinerary.
If he has any honor,he's back at the office performing seppuku.
Here,let me help you with that.
Who are you? I'm the man in charge of making sure miss mara doesn't have an unhappy moment here in the greatest city on earth.
I'm with the company.
Semblance cosmetics? Get in.
Can I tell you how beautiful you looked getting off the plane? Okay.
Well,that's a temporary spare, so you're gonna want to get to your garage as soon as you can and have them change that out,heather.
We'll have to do this again sometim well,all the other tires look good.
If I was you,I would just avoid potholes.
Yeah.
I-I meant without the car trouble.
Well,the thing is I'm kind of involved with somebody.
So am I.
[ Chuckling .]
No.
I mean,I'm very involved with somebody.
[ Snaps fingers .]
Guess it's true.
All the good ones are taken.
Hey,oliver.
Hey,james.
This is a surprise.
Good to see you.
So,uh,listen,I know I was kind of tough on you and katie.
I'm sorry.
No hard feelings? None.
Listen,I'm headed uptown.
Do you need a lift? Oh,thank you,but I'm heading the other way.
All right.
And I'm sorry I've been working katie so hard lately.
We're crunched.
I'm afraid you're out of the loop,james.
Katie dumped me weeks ago.
But give her my best,though,would you? Yeah.
Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 09 We all know the answer to the question "what can riko do for us? " What I want to impress upon you is what we plan to do for riko mara.
You want to translate that to her? Miss mara takes my advice on business decisions.
I will summarize later.
Yankee stadium No,that's,uh,that's shea stadium.
Back to what you can do for us.
Six months after she signs,riko mara is a household name in middle america.
She's got a perfume line.
She's appearing in a maroon 5 video.
She's the back-cover ad in every major woman's magazine.
She's got billboards on the sunset strip and times square.
Hello? I don't understand.
Your man's here already.
He met us at the airport.
Is that headquarters? Let me talk to them.
Here.
Larry? Hey! No,I'm taking care -- all right,just just relax,larry.
I got it.
All right,I'm gonna turn off the phone now.
I'm gonna turn off the phone,you nut.
As I was saying I didn't get your name.
Duncan collinsworth,reveal cosmetics.
Reveal? Hey,brody,it's me.
Listen,I need a little favor.
Do you know the strings I would have to pull to make that happen? No,I can do it.
I just want you to appreciate the effort it's gonna require.
Yeah,okay.
Bye.
From:Heather(mobile)Lunch? Hey.
Hey,hey.
So,I think we've known each other long enough that I can t to the chase.
Do you want to go to lisbeth's wedding with me this weekend as my date? You're going to lisbeth's wedding? Duncan's got an addiction to existential pain.
He couldn't stay away.
We're going as support.
What do you say? Couldn't find a real date,huh? No,this -- this would be a real date -- not a friend date,a real date.
We danced around this for a long time,katie.
I say we go for it.
You know I'm seeing oliver.
Not according to oliver you're not.
Why'd you tell me you were still dating him? Because I didn't want to hurt you.
Hurt me? The truth is -- and you might not want to hear this -- t I love you like a brother,james.
And when we kissed,I felt like I was kissing my brother.
Your brother?Really? Well,listen,I'm no expert in the matter, but I've kissed a few women in my day and that wasn't any kiss you give your brother.
Look,we've been friends for so long, and I don't want to screw up our relationship because we're both lonely.
I'm sorry,but that'S that's just how I feel about it.
I have to admit -- it'sice being back here.
Not that whipping up iced lattes 8 hours a day isn't honest work.
I didn't see zack this morning.
How'd you take the news? Cam,I really don't have -- what news? Zack didn't talk to you? About what? This is when I tell you to sit down,if you weren't already sitting.
Zack isn't your son.
It was all a big lie.
What? What about the dna test? He paid someone off at the lab.
They switched reports.
It's true.
Zack confessed.
I can show you your real dna coding,if you want to see it.
I had a new test done.
Hey,the good news is,you're still really my dad.
I don't want to see him again.
He didn't mean -- cam,he pretended to be my son,your brother,as what? A joke? No,not a joke.
Before the blood test,he thought it might be true.
And after? He wanted a family? Oh,cam,please.
At least I got suckered in before I knew he was a con man.
Don't let yourself get suckered in after.
If you knew how he grew up -- I don't care! You know what?I have too much else on my plate right now to give that little punk another thought.
Any other bombshells before I get back to work? Don't know if it qualifies,but good to have you back.
Oh,hey,katie.
Yeah.
I'm sorry to throw all this on your plate, but I want you to take over telson.
Jacobs is drowning.
Let's face it -- he's helpless.
Well,you know me -- patron saint of the helpless.
Well,here's the pertinent information.
Ah,thank you.
Oh,uh,one more thing.
I debated whether to give you this,but what the hell.
Um,check it out,if you get some free time.
Let me know what you think.
-Sure.
-Great.
Thanks.
songs for Katie.
A mixtape.
Okay,enough with the small talk.
You tell me yours,I'll tell you mine.
My what? Story -- why you're here.
Um,well,I'm having lunch.
A man needs to eat.
Okay,then.
I'll go first.
You'll figure out how to play.
The man I'm seeing is on the road all the time and always spending time with the boys.
So,he's in the nba? He wishes.
No.
I just feel like I have to beg for his attention.
And sometimes I fe unloved.
And I don't like the person it turns me into.
Your turn.
well,I'm married.
Yeah.
You showed me the ring.
Well,I will spare you all the wonderful things about my wife.
Uh,truth is,she doesn't trust me.
And I have never given her a reason not to.
I mean,but she has to know where I am all the time -- and I mean all the time.
Do you think she knows where you are right now? Probably.
I love her,but,uh she makes me jump through hoop after hoop after hoop, and sometimes,it just feels like I'm at the end of my rope.
uh,can I get a check? Hello,gentlemen.
Riko.
Duncan?What are you doing -- if you wouldn't mind translating for miss mara don't translate a thing.
This is our meeting.
Please tell her I've arranged a private tour of yankee stadium.
Is this how business is done in this country? Please tell her.
No,don't tell her a thing.
And tell her that hideki matsui is waiting there right now to give that private tour.
-I will tell her no -- -oh,my god.
Let's go.
I can't believe it.
That is so awesome! We really should go,because hideki's on a tight schedule.
You really should listen to me once in a while.
This guy doesn't even speak japanese,and he figured it out.
See you,boys.
Do I get to see you again? Maybe next time,we could go somewhere we could be alone.
you know I-I don't think that's such a good idea.
I'm trying to make this easy for you,brody.
I think we're in the same boat here,needing to feel tenderness,wanted.
I know it's not gonna go anywhere,but for an afternoon or two, wouldn't it feel so good to know that we're both desirable people? You're a crisis manager.
If you want to find me,I bet you can.
You and me will be lying side by side forever forever underneath thisdolescent sky together together And you will hold my heart inside your hand oh,my god! Oh,my god! I'm sorry.
I knocked.
It's okay.
I was just -- are you blushing? Hey,what are you listening to on that thing? You record some quality phone sex? -No.
-Well,let me hear it.
No! All right,all right! Here's the rest of that telson file you needed.
Lighten up,graham.
Thanks.
I know we're doing calla lilies as the centerpieces for the hoi polloi, but did you want something that kicks a bit more ass for the head table? I love calla lilies.
Your wedding.
I really do appreciate all the help you're giving me,cameron.
You're getting married.
At else would I be doing? Well,it's just I think you may think that I'm marrying the wrong man.
Are you? Cam.
Two days ago,you were furious with terrence and talking about calling the wedding off.
It was a misunderstanding.
That's all.
It was a business thing,and it's all cleared up.
"A business thing"? Since when do you do business with terrence? Look,cam,I found a man whs good to me.
Well,if you're happy,then I'm happy.
I'm happy.
All I ask is one thing.
Anything,sweetheart.
Do not,under penalty of death,throw that bouquet anywhere near me.
I know we don't test on animals.
What I'm saying is,we can't put a bunny wearing eyeliner in one of our ads without conjuring up images we don't want conjured.
Hey! Ere you are.
Ha at work.
Didn't I tell you the city never sleeps? Everybody,this is riko mara.
Riko -- everybody.
Hello.
What you working on,luis? Uh,print ads.
Well,shelve it.
We are moving into asia,with riko as our spokesmodel.
What about the board? Ah,they'll love it if they're smart.
Of course,I'll have to bully higgens and steinman again.
you haven't heard,have you? They both sold out while you were gone.
They're off the board.
Really? Who replaced them? What? Well,rumor has it they were bought out by terrence hill.
Interoffice gossip.
Nothing to concern yourself with.
Carmen,would you mind showing miss mara the observation deck? Panoramic view of the city.
You can practically ach out and touch the indifference.
Right this way,miss mara.
Terrence hill? Duncan,it's just a rumor.
First,the guy takes my wife! Now he's taking over my business? Bastard probably bought the building I live in,too! Well,board or no board,i run reveal! The only interaction I need from terrence hill is him kissing my ass! You! What are you doing here? Didn't you get the message? You're out,fired,disowned,out of my life.
If I see you again,I'll have you arrested and charged with fraud! I just wanted to talk.
Luis,call security.
But call security! Go.
Great to have me back,huh? I miss the sound of your voice the loudest thing in my head and I ache to remember all the violent,sweet,perfect words that you said come on,get higher come on,get higher because everything works,love everything works in your arms duncan,we all have issues at work That's why it's called work.
It's why you get a paycheck.
I'm not sure I can work for a company that terrence controls.
But you love that company.
You built that company.
Wait until he actually does something before you throw yourself off a buiing.
I'm not sure that's in my dna.
And on the topic of my dna,turns out my son is not really a son -- just some con man looking for a free ride.
You're joking,right? No.
You know,maybe you could look at it as a compliment.
If I was a twentysomething nothing looking for fame,fortune, and a fistful of females,I might hook my wagon to your star,too.
Hell,I'm a grown man,and I still might.
And you -- how's everything going in the estrogen-free zone? Fantastic.
The other night,it was pizza and pay-per-view till 3:00 A.
M.
And last night? Last night,there was nothing good on pay-per-view,and with my colon, cheese two nights in a row is never a good idea.
Went to bed early,caught up on some research.
Karl,do you know how rare it is for a married man to have an entire week to himself? You got to take advantage of these opportunities.
You know,there is a "twilight zone" marathon on tonight.
Wendy hates "the twilight zone.
" I'm gonna go all night if I have to.
You're right.
That'S a lot better.
Oh,thank merciful god.
Hey,babe.
Hey! What -- yes,I told them teak.
Well,how do you know what you're looking at is walnut? No,I'm not saying you don't know the difference.
Honey,I wouldn't know the difference myself.
Hey -- hey -- o-okay,I will get him on it.
Y-yes,I'm gonna call him right now.
Yeah -- Well,I love you,too.
-From Heather Lunch?? -I am ready to meet.
Tell me where and when.
Lovely.
Wedding gift.
I meant you.
You're not upset that I invited duncan to the wedding,are you? It's your day.
Whatever makes you happy is fine with me.
Well,I'm off.
A lile bachelor debauchery? Last hurrah? Dinner,drinks.
Good,clean fun.
But don't wait up.
That's lovely.
[ Knock on door .]
There you are.
Hey.
You okay? Yeah,I,um I was just,um,returning this cd that you gave me.
You get a chance to listen to it? -I did.
-Reaction? "Reaction.
Reaction.
I,um I have to admit,right now,I am kind of overwhelmed by all of it.
You see?That's just what i said.
We don't need song.
I mean,just picture it -- photo after photo of people in love,and the final image is our camera.
What do you think? It's for the ad campaign.
Yeah.
You didn't get my e-mail?What'd you think it was for? Uh,yeah,sure.
The -- the ad campaign.
Of course.
I agree with you.
We do not need a song.
Great minds.
Anyway,listen.
I'm sorry I've thrown so much your way lately.
It's just that you're the lifesaver.
That's me,all right.
12:58.
I have been well-trained.
Well,then,come in here and show me some tricks.
Duncan? This is a good idea,right? Me coming to the wedding? Ncan,I forgive you for missing all my piano recitals, but don't flake on me.
I don't want to sit here by myself and watch this thing go down.
That is,if it actually does.
What does that mean? I don't know.
I just -- I don't know what mom's doing.
Did something happen? A couple of nights ago,she said she was calling off the wedding, that terrence did something awful,and then the next day, it's "damn the torpedoes.
" She said they got into it over some "business thing.
" But to tell you the truth,I think she doesn't know what she wants.
"Business thing"? You said a couple nights ago,she was gonna call it off? Yeah.
She was upset with terrence.
Dad,you still there? Oh,god.
What? Just a minute.
There's somebody at the door.
Oh,it's your brother.
I should go.
Dad,show mercy.
Bye,cam.
I'm afraid I don't have time for a father/son chat.
I got to hit the road.
Look,I-I know what I did sucks,okay? And I know you're pissed at me,and I deserve it.
Then this won't come as a surprise.
Look,I brought you something,okay? I-I-I think you'll want to see it.
It's,uh,only fair lisbeth knows the guy she's marrying.
That's an enthusiastic stripper.
Yeah.
Terrence certainly doesn't seem to have any complaints.
Where'd you get these? Uh,he had his bachelor party at a strip club.
How trite is that,right? You know,I guess if you have that much money,the dancers can be awfully friendly.
What happened to your face? Oh,the,uh,the bouncers caught me taking these.
But not before I'd already stuck the memory stick in my sock.
You sleep in those clothes? Yeah,I,uh I got thrown out of my apartment.
It's -- it's more expensive than you'd think paying off genetic-testing-lab employees.
Then karma does work,huh? There.
A clean grand.
Think of it as an inheritance you're not owed.
Duncan,I-I don't nt the money.
I want to explain.
Take the money,'cause it's all you're getting.
Use it to start a new life somewhere else,without dear old dad.
Duncan,come on,please.
I-it wasn't so bad having me around.
Goodbye,zack.
Now get out of here before I stop feeling so generous.
Take it and go.
That was amazing.
Worth it? Oh,absolutely.
Regrets? Not in the least.
I love you.
What did you just say? I said I love you.
I can't help it.
I do.
You are just begging for me to end this.
Yes,I am.
I want my wife back.
All right,then.
You got her.
Happy anniversary,baby.
Happy anniversary,janelle.
Becky,could you give me a couple of minutes? I always loved you in a tux.
Did you agree to marry terrence in order for me to get my job back? -Duncan -- -cam said you nearly broke off the engagement a couple days ago.
48 hours later,I'm back in charge at reveal and you're wearing white.
I'm marrying terrence because I love him.
And you're running reveal because it's what you were born to do.
Terrence decided on his own that all of a sudden, he should buy up majority ownership in order to put me back in charge? It was a gift to me.
'S a gift to himself.
He's my boss now,lizzy.
I thought you understood men better by now.
Duncan,that's not what's going on here.
He didn't do it to have you under his thumb.
He did it because it was important to me.
Look,nobody's getting everything they want.
But everyone's getting something they need.
Can I trade with terrence? He can have reveal,and I'll take you.
That can't happen.
I'm marrying terrence.
He's a good man.
Really? He's a good man? He is.
[ Sighs .]
Okay.
Duncan? You look beautiful.
Priest: Do you,terrence,take elizabeth as your wife, to have and to hold,in sickness and in health,for all the days of your life? Terrence: I do.
And do you,elizabeth,take terrence as your husband, to have and to hold,in sickness and in health,for all the days of your life? I do.
Terrence and elizabeth,I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Terrence,you may kiss your bride.
Ladies and gentlemen,it is my great honor to now present to you terrence and elizabeth hill.
You gonna be all right? Ask me in 10 minutes.
What,you'll be less heartbroken in 10 minutes? I should be less sober in 10 minutes.
It should get ugly,if you care to join me.
Sorry,buddy.
I think I'm gonna cut out.
If I wasn't afraid of my daughter,I'd join you.
Yeah,well,that's the beauty of being a free man.
Easy exit.
Actually,my friend,I believe someone just arrived to encumber you.
Hey.
You came.
You know us girls.
Can't stay away from a wedding.
Seriously.
You said before I was like a brother to you.
Well,maybe now I'm ready to sing a different tune.
Duncan? Thank you.
You're a lucky man,terrence.
Well,in the spirit of the occasion,I shall ignore the dig and simply agree with you.
I am lucky.
I also thought I should give you a heads-up.
I'm resigning tomorrow as the C.
E.
O.
Of reveal.
I think we both know the situation is untenable.
What? Miss out on our big move into asia,with riko mara? It's a smart move,duncan.
You should make it.
And then get over the notion that everything I do is done to screw you.
Deal.
Darling.
That almost looked civil.
But the subtext was bone-chilling.
I was covering.
You're the bter man for it.
You,uh,you want to boogie? Why?Were they gonna put on some hall and oates for you? Like your kids won't make fun of nickelback.
Anything I can do to help.
You know,it's not every day a man is forced to watch the love of his life marry another man.
Hey,cam.
I love your mom.
But you're the love of my life.
So,10 years from now,do you think that my new kitchen will be finished? Well,if it isn't,I'm sure I will hear about it while you're standing over my grave.
So you think you're gonna get rid of me that easy,huh? After the anniversary we just had I would die a happy man.
James? Yes? Never mind.
I'm glad you came,too.
Cam.
Permission granted.
I can take it from here.
Thanks for being one of the lower-maintenance dates I've had in a while.
If it's any consolation,I don't think she'll ever love him the way she loves you.
It's not.
But thanks.
Zack,wake up.
Wake up,zack.
Zack,wake up! Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 09
It was a moment.
So it shouldn't be weird.
Oliver and I -- we're back together.
He left his wife.
You cannot go around punching people in the face, especially people I'm about to marry.
Don't marry him,lizzy.
I got my job back.
How? I have no idea.
He is my son.
I got a call from the lab this morning.
There's all these weird inconsistencies in his stories.
Zack: Cam,i need to talk to you.
Cam.
Open the door.
Cam,come on.
Listen to me,all right? I-I-I know you know about the dna test, and it's -- it's cool,all right? It's a relief,actually.
What makes a person falsify a dna test, pretend to be somebody they're not? Okay,look,I-I-I admit it,all right? I-I lied about duncan being my father,and -- and I messed with the test,but but this is who I am,cam,all right? You know,the -- the guy you've come to know and tolerate.
No offense,zack, but I think your impressive run of trading on your charm has come to an end, so I'd appreciate it if you'd back off.
Oh,cam,come on! You're not actually scared of me,are you? Look,I don't -- I don't think that thing's gonna start anyway.
Did you do something to my car? You mean,what,with my extensive knowledge of auto mechanics? Let me see your hands.
See? Look -- no grease,no dirt,all right? Cam,please.
I owe you an explanation, and if there's any way we can do it not through glass,even better.
Come on.
10 minutes.
10 minutes.
Otherwise,you and i are going to christen my can of manhattan girl mace.
No,not tiger lilies.
I said calla lilies.
Duncan.
Bad time? No,no.
Just -- come in.
Uh,no,I'm here.
It's -- it's for my wedding.
No,I don't want tiger lilies.
I don't even like tiger lilies.
You know what?I'll call you back.
Lisbeth.
Lisbeth collinsworth.
Never did get around to changing your name,did you? Never did.
So,I never got my invitation.
Must have got lost in the mail.
Actually,I never sent it.
I didn't think you'd want to come.
Come on.
Give up the opportunity for free booze and really profound self-pity? It's me,lizzy.
You know,I really would love for you to be there.
I know we've had our ups and downs.
I preferred our ins and outs.
Look,whether I make it or not I'm really happy for you,lizzy.
And,um I wanted you to have this.
Early wedding present? More like "I'll always love you,"even though you're marrying someone else, but look what a good guy I am" gift.
It's beautiful.
Remember when we first got married,you were always trying to grow those calla lilies.
Yeah.
Thank you,duncan.
This is,um it's unexpected.
Well,I should probably go.
Congratulations,again.
So,who is your father,really? No idea.
Currently,the only person I know for sure it's not is duncan, and I didn't know that until I got the dna test back.
So,convincing duncan that you were his son was just a shortcut to the life you wanted? "A shortcut"?No.
Look,it felt nice to have a dad,you know? To -- to feel like I could belong to something I could be proud of,all right? You,of all people,should understand that,cam.
Look do you mind letting me be the one to tell him? When? Tomorrow,first thing.
First thing.
Or I'll have to.
The return of the king! Return of the king.
It's good to be the king.
First der of business -- conquer asia.
Tomorrow's your first day back at reveal.
Shouldn't you -- I don't know -- unpack first? No time.
Tomorrow,8:32 A.
M.
Riko mara, natalie portman of the far east,arrives at jfk on a flight from tokyo.
If I can sign her as reveal's asian spokesmodel, I'll have my foot in the door.
How did you get her on the plane? You just found out you got your job back four hours ago.
She's not flying out here to meet you,is she? Competition's flying her in.
I don't get it.
How do you plan to get her -- this is me,karl.
This is what I do.
I'm a man of action.
I make things happen.
Well,even men of inaction sometimes catch a break.
Wendy is accompanying marla to her high-school reunion this week, meaning,for seven glorious days,I have the house all to myself.
No well-meaning wife,no crazy former mistress.
Just me,a remote control,and every trans fat known to man.
We need to find a new club.
There he is -- the man of the hour.
Hear you got your job back.
News travels fast.
Oh,just finger on the pulse.
That's all.
Yeah,I'm pleased for you.
Really? Even after going through all that trouble to get me fired? I got you fired? From what I heard,you violated your morality clause.
Gentleman's name was,what,dontrelle? Ethics lessons from a corporate raider.
How many people you put out of work today,terrence? Oh,that'll get your attention.
Yeah,yeah.
Janelle changed my voice-mail alert.
Trying to expose me to culture.
She getting you to jump through hoops for your anniversary? Well,she just wants the kitchen remodel finished, and if that doesn't get done, I have sworn to her that I will impale the contractor's severed head on thepikes of our driveway gate.
All right,gentlemen,duty calls.
I'm gonna go make my wife happy.
Good luck with that,sisyphus.
No,I promise,I will call the contractor and find out, to the centimeter,how far up his butt his head could possibly be.
I'll even bring my own tape measure.
No,I'm coming into a tunnel.
I'm losing you.
I'm losing you.
Tell me you're not a killer.
I've had a bad enough day already.
Come on.
Killers don't drive expensive german cars.
Tell that to the nazis.
Um,hi.
Looks like you got a flat.
You're good.
Maybe we should have it towed to the garage where you work.
Um,actually,I'm not a mechanic.
No! No,I'm a crisis-management consultant.
That can't be a real job.
[ Sis .]
Proof.
This proves nothing,unless maybe my little brother really was an official bikini inspector.
Hold on.
I want them to find this in my possession when a jogger stumbles over my dismembered parts.
[ Car alarm chirps .]
There you are.
I'm so sorry,miss mara.
My assistant put down the wrong terminal on my itinerary.
If he has any honor,he's back at the office performing seppuku.
Here,let me help you with that.
Who are you? I'm the man in charge of making sure miss mara doesn't have an unhappy moment here in the greatest city on earth.
I'm with the company.
Semblance cosmetics? Get in.
Can I tell you how beautiful you looked getting off the plane? Okay.
Well,that's a temporary spare, so you're gonna want to get to your garage as soon as you can and have them change that out,heather.
We'll have to do this again sometim well,all the other tires look good.
If I was you,I would just avoid potholes.
Yeah.
I-I meant without the car trouble.
Well,the thing is I'm kind of involved with somebody.
So am I.
[ Chuckling .]
No.
I mean,I'm very involved with somebody.
[ Snaps fingers .]
Guess it's true.
All the good ones are taken.
Hey,oliver.
Hey,james.
This is a surprise.
Good to see you.
So,uh,listen,I know I was kind of tough on you and katie.
I'm sorry.
No hard feelings? None.
Listen,I'm headed uptown.
Do you need a lift? Oh,thank you,but I'm heading the other way.
All right.
And I'm sorry I've been working katie so hard lately.
We're crunched.
I'm afraid you're out of the loop,james.
Katie dumped me weeks ago.
But give her my best,though,would you? Yeah.
Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 09 We all know the answer to the question "what can riko do for us? " What I want to impress upon you is what we plan to do for riko mara.
You want to translate that to her? Miss mara takes my advice on business decisions.
I will summarize later.
Yankee stadium No,that's,uh,that's shea stadium.
Back to what you can do for us.
Six months after she signs,riko mara is a household name in middle america.
She's got a perfume line.
She's appearing in a maroon 5 video.
She's the back-cover ad in every major woman's magazine.
She's got billboards on the sunset strip and times square.
Hello? I don't understand.
Your man's here already.
He met us at the airport.
Is that headquarters? Let me talk to them.
Here.
Larry? Hey! No,I'm taking care -- all right,just just relax,larry.
I got it.
All right,I'm gonna turn off the phone now.
I'm gonna turn off the phone,you nut.
As I was saying I didn't get your name.
Duncan collinsworth,reveal cosmetics.
Reveal? Hey,brody,it's me.
Listen,I need a little favor.
Do you know the strings I would have to pull to make that happen? No,I can do it.
I just want you to appreciate the effort it's gonna require.
Yeah,okay.
Bye.
From:Heather(mobile)Lunch? Hey.
Hey,hey.
So,I think we've known each other long enough that I can t to the chase.
Do you want to go to lisbeth's wedding with me this weekend as my date? You're going to lisbeth's wedding? Duncan's got an addiction to existential pain.
He couldn't stay away.
We're going as support.
What do you say? Couldn't find a real date,huh? No,this -- this would be a real date -- not a friend date,a real date.
We danced around this for a long time,katie.
I say we go for it.
You know I'm seeing oliver.
Not according to oliver you're not.
Why'd you tell me you were still dating him? Because I didn't want to hurt you.
Hurt me? The truth is -- and you might not want to hear this -- t I love you like a brother,james.
And when we kissed,I felt like I was kissing my brother.
Your brother?Really? Well,listen,I'm no expert in the matter, but I've kissed a few women in my day and that wasn't any kiss you give your brother.
Look,we've been friends for so long, and I don't want to screw up our relationship because we're both lonely.
I'm sorry,but that'S that's just how I feel about it.
I have to admit -- it'sice being back here.
Not that whipping up iced lattes 8 hours a day isn't honest work.
I didn't see zack this morning.
How'd you take the news? Cam,I really don't have -- what news? Zack didn't talk to you? About what? This is when I tell you to sit down,if you weren't already sitting.
Zack isn't your son.
It was all a big lie.
What? What about the dna test? He paid someone off at the lab.
They switched reports.
It's true.
Zack confessed.
I can show you your real dna coding,if you want to see it.
I had a new test done.
Hey,the good news is,you're still really my dad.
I don't want to see him again.
He didn't mean -- cam,he pretended to be my son,your brother,as what? A joke? No,not a joke.
Before the blood test,he thought it might be true.
And after? He wanted a family? Oh,cam,please.
At least I got suckered in before I knew he was a con man.
Don't let yourself get suckered in after.
If you knew how he grew up -- I don't care! You know what?I have too much else on my plate right now to give that little punk another thought.
Any other bombshells before I get back to work? Don't know if it qualifies,but good to have you back.
Oh,hey,katie.
Yeah.
I'm sorry to throw all this on your plate, but I want you to take over telson.
Jacobs is drowning.
Let's face it -- he's helpless.
Well,you know me -- patron saint of the helpless.
Well,here's the pertinent information.
Ah,thank you.
Oh,uh,one more thing.
I debated whether to give you this,but what the hell.
Um,check it out,if you get some free time.
Let me know what you think.
-Sure.
-Great.
Thanks.
songs for Katie.
A mixtape.
Okay,enough with the small talk.
You tell me yours,I'll tell you mine.
My what? Story -- why you're here.
Um,well,I'm having lunch.
A man needs to eat.
Okay,then.
I'll go first.
You'll figure out how to play.
The man I'm seeing is on the road all the time and always spending time with the boys.
So,he's in the nba? He wishes.
No.
I just feel like I have to beg for his attention.
And sometimes I fe unloved.
And I don't like the person it turns me into.
Your turn.
well,I'm married.
Yeah.
You showed me the ring.
Well,I will spare you all the wonderful things about my wife.
Uh,truth is,she doesn't trust me.
And I have never given her a reason not to.
I mean,but she has to know where I am all the time -- and I mean all the time.
Do you think she knows where you are right now? Probably.
I love her,but,uh she makes me jump through hoop after hoop after hoop, and sometimes,it just feels like I'm at the end of my rope.
uh,can I get a check? Hello,gentlemen.
Riko.
Duncan?What are you doing -- if you wouldn't mind translating for miss mara don't translate a thing.
This is our meeting.
Please tell her I've arranged a private tour of yankee stadium.
Is this how business is done in this country? Please tell her.
No,don't tell her a thing.
And tell her that hideki matsui is waiting there right now to give that private tour.
-I will tell her no -- -oh,my god.
Let's go.
I can't believe it.
That is so awesome! We really should go,because hideki's on a tight schedule.
You really should listen to me once in a while.
This guy doesn't even speak japanese,and he figured it out.
See you,boys.
Do I get to see you again? Maybe next time,we could go somewhere we could be alone.
you know I-I don't think that's such a good idea.
I'm trying to make this easy for you,brody.
I think we're in the same boat here,needing to feel tenderness,wanted.
I know it's not gonna go anywhere,but for an afternoon or two, wouldn't it feel so good to know that we're both desirable people? You're a crisis manager.
If you want to find me,I bet you can.
You and me will be lying side by side forever forever underneath thisdolescent sky together together And you will hold my heart inside your hand oh,my god! Oh,my god! I'm sorry.
I knocked.
It's okay.
I was just -- are you blushing? Hey,what are you listening to on that thing? You record some quality phone sex? -No.
-Well,let me hear it.
No! All right,all right! Here's the rest of that telson file you needed.
Lighten up,graham.
Thanks.
I know we're doing calla lilies as the centerpieces for the hoi polloi, but did you want something that kicks a bit more ass for the head table? I love calla lilies.
Your wedding.
I really do appreciate all the help you're giving me,cameron.
You're getting married.
At else would I be doing? Well,it's just I think you may think that I'm marrying the wrong man.
Are you? Cam.
Two days ago,you were furious with terrence and talking about calling the wedding off.
It was a misunderstanding.
That's all.
It was a business thing,and it's all cleared up.
"A business thing"? Since when do you do business with terrence? Look,cam,I found a man whs good to me.
Well,if you're happy,then I'm happy.
I'm happy.
All I ask is one thing.
Anything,sweetheart.
Do not,under penalty of death,throw that bouquet anywhere near me.
I know we don't test on animals.
What I'm saying is,we can't put a bunny wearing eyeliner in one of our ads without conjuring up images we don't want conjured.
Hey! Ere you are.
Ha at work.
Didn't I tell you the city never sleeps? Everybody,this is riko mara.
Riko -- everybody.
Hello.
What you working on,luis? Uh,print ads.
Well,shelve it.
We are moving into asia,with riko as our spokesmodel.
What about the board? Ah,they'll love it if they're smart.
Of course,I'll have to bully higgens and steinman again.
you haven't heard,have you? They both sold out while you were gone.
They're off the board.
Really? Who replaced them? What? Well,rumor has it they were bought out by terrence hill.
Interoffice gossip.
Nothing to concern yourself with.
Carmen,would you mind showing miss mara the observation deck? Panoramic view of the city.
You can practically ach out and touch the indifference.
Right this way,miss mara.
Terrence hill? Duncan,it's just a rumor.
First,the guy takes my wife! Now he's taking over my business? Bastard probably bought the building I live in,too! Well,board or no board,i run reveal! The only interaction I need from terrence hill is him kissing my ass! You! What are you doing here? Didn't you get the message? You're out,fired,disowned,out of my life.
If I see you again,I'll have you arrested and charged with fraud! I just wanted to talk.
Luis,call security.
But call security! Go.
Great to have me back,huh? I miss the sound of your voice the loudest thing in my head and I ache to remember all the violent,sweet,perfect words that you said come on,get higher come on,get higher because everything works,love everything works in your arms duncan,we all have issues at work That's why it's called work.
It's why you get a paycheck.
I'm not sure I can work for a company that terrence controls.
But you love that company.
You built that company.
Wait until he actually does something before you throw yourself off a buiing.
I'm not sure that's in my dna.
And on the topic of my dna,turns out my son is not really a son -- just some con man looking for a free ride.
You're joking,right? No.
You know,maybe you could look at it as a compliment.
If I was a twentysomething nothing looking for fame,fortune, and a fistful of females,I might hook my wagon to your star,too.
Hell,I'm a grown man,and I still might.
And you -- how's everything going in the estrogen-free zone? Fantastic.
The other night,it was pizza and pay-per-view till 3:00 A.
M.
And last night? Last night,there was nothing good on pay-per-view,and with my colon, cheese two nights in a row is never a good idea.
Went to bed early,caught up on some research.
Karl,do you know how rare it is for a married man to have an entire week to himself? You got to take advantage of these opportunities.
You know,there is a "twilight zone" marathon on tonight.
Wendy hates "the twilight zone.
" I'm gonna go all night if I have to.
You're right.
That'S a lot better.
Oh,thank merciful god.
Hey,babe.
Hey! What -- yes,I told them teak.
Well,how do you know what you're looking at is walnut? No,I'm not saying you don't know the difference.
Honey,I wouldn't know the difference myself.
Hey -- hey -- o-okay,I will get him on it.
Y-yes,I'm gonna call him right now.
Yeah -- Well,I love you,too.
-From Heather Lunch?? -I am ready to meet.
Tell me where and when.
Lovely.
Wedding gift.
I meant you.
You're not upset that I invited duncan to the wedding,are you? It's your day.
Whatever makes you happy is fine with me.
Well,I'm off.
A lile bachelor debauchery? Last hurrah? Dinner,drinks.
Good,clean fun.
But don't wait up.
That's lovely.
[ Knock on door .]
There you are.
Hey.
You okay? Yeah,I,um I was just,um,returning this cd that you gave me.
You get a chance to listen to it? -I did.
-Reaction? "Reaction.
Reaction.
I,um I have to admit,right now,I am kind of overwhelmed by all of it.
You see?That's just what i said.
We don't need song.
I mean,just picture it -- photo after photo of people in love,and the final image is our camera.
What do you think? It's for the ad campaign.
Yeah.
You didn't get my e-mail?What'd you think it was for? Uh,yeah,sure.
The -- the ad campaign.
Of course.
I agree with you.
We do not need a song.
Great minds.
Anyway,listen.
I'm sorry I've thrown so much your way lately.
It's just that you're the lifesaver.
That's me,all right.
12:58.
I have been well-trained.
Well,then,come in here and show me some tricks.
Duncan? This is a good idea,right? Me coming to the wedding? Ncan,I forgive you for missing all my piano recitals, but don't flake on me.
I don't want to sit here by myself and watch this thing go down.
That is,if it actually does.
What does that mean? I don't know.
I just -- I don't know what mom's doing.
Did something happen? A couple of nights ago,she said she was calling off the wedding, that terrence did something awful,and then the next day, it's "damn the torpedoes.
" She said they got into it over some "business thing.
" But to tell you the truth,I think she doesn't know what she wants.
"Business thing"? You said a couple nights ago,she was gonna call it off? Yeah.
She was upset with terrence.
Dad,you still there? Oh,god.
What? Just a minute.
There's somebody at the door.
Oh,it's your brother.
I should go.
Dad,show mercy.
Bye,cam.
I'm afraid I don't have time for a father/son chat.
I got to hit the road.
Look,I-I know what I did sucks,okay? And I know you're pissed at me,and I deserve it.
Then this won't come as a surprise.
Look,I brought you something,okay? I-I-I think you'll want to see it.
It's,uh,only fair lisbeth knows the guy she's marrying.
That's an enthusiastic stripper.
Yeah.
Terrence certainly doesn't seem to have any complaints.
Where'd you get these? Uh,he had his bachelor party at a strip club.
How trite is that,right? You know,I guess if you have that much money,the dancers can be awfully friendly.
What happened to your face? Oh,the,uh,the bouncers caught me taking these.
But not before I'd already stuck the memory stick in my sock.
You sleep in those clothes? Yeah,I,uh I got thrown out of my apartment.
It's -- it's more expensive than you'd think paying off genetic-testing-lab employees.
Then karma does work,huh? There.
A clean grand.
Think of it as an inheritance you're not owed.
Duncan,I-I don't nt the money.
I want to explain.
Take the money,'cause it's all you're getting.
Use it to start a new life somewhere else,without dear old dad.
Duncan,come on,please.
I-it wasn't so bad having me around.
Goodbye,zack.
Now get out of here before I stop feeling so generous.
Take it and go.
That was amazing.
Worth it? Oh,absolutely.
Regrets? Not in the least.
I love you.
What did you just say? I said I love you.
I can't help it.
I do.
You are just begging for me to end this.
Yes,I am.
I want my wife back.
All right,then.
You got her.
Happy anniversary,baby.
Happy anniversary,janelle.
Becky,could you give me a couple of minutes? I always loved you in a tux.
Did you agree to marry terrence in order for me to get my job back? -Duncan -- -cam said you nearly broke off the engagement a couple days ago.
48 hours later,I'm back in charge at reveal and you're wearing white.
I'm marrying terrence because I love him.
And you're running reveal because it's what you were born to do.
Terrence decided on his own that all of a sudden, he should buy up majority ownership in order to put me back in charge? It was a gift to me.
'S a gift to himself.
He's my boss now,lizzy.
I thought you understood men better by now.
Duncan,that's not what's going on here.
He didn't do it to have you under his thumb.
He did it because it was important to me.
Look,nobody's getting everything they want.
But everyone's getting something they need.
Can I trade with terrence? He can have reveal,and I'll take you.
That can't happen.
I'm marrying terrence.
He's a good man.
Really? He's a good man? He is.
[ Sighs .]
Okay.
Duncan? You look beautiful.
Priest: Do you,terrence,take elizabeth as your wife, to have and to hold,in sickness and in health,for all the days of your life? Terrence: I do.
And do you,elizabeth,take terrence as your husband, to have and to hold,in sickness and in health,for all the days of your life? I do.
Terrence and elizabeth,I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Terrence,you may kiss your bride.
Ladies and gentlemen,it is my great honor to now present to you terrence and elizabeth hill.
You gonna be all right? Ask me in 10 minutes.
What,you'll be less heartbroken in 10 minutes? I should be less sober in 10 minutes.
It should get ugly,if you care to join me.
Sorry,buddy.
I think I'm gonna cut out.
If I wasn't afraid of my daughter,I'd join you.
Yeah,well,that's the beauty of being a free man.
Easy exit.
Actually,my friend,I believe someone just arrived to encumber you.
Hey.
You came.
You know us girls.
Can't stay away from a wedding.
Seriously.
You said before I was like a brother to you.
Well,maybe now I'm ready to sing a different tune.
Duncan? Thank you.
You're a lucky man,terrence.
Well,in the spirit of the occasion,I shall ignore the dig and simply agree with you.
I am lucky.
I also thought I should give you a heads-up.
I'm resigning tomorrow as the C.
E.
O.
Of reveal.
I think we both know the situation is untenable.
What? Miss out on our big move into asia,with riko mara? It's a smart move,duncan.
You should make it.
And then get over the notion that everything I do is done to screw you.
Deal.
Darling.
That almost looked civil.
But the subtext was bone-chilling.
I was covering.
You're the bter man for it.
You,uh,you want to boogie? Why?Were they gonna put on some hall and oates for you? Like your kids won't make fun of nickelback.
Anything I can do to help.
You know,it's not every day a man is forced to watch the love of his life marry another man.
Hey,cam.
I love your mom.
But you're the love of my life.
So,10 years from now,do you think that my new kitchen will be finished? Well,if it isn't,I'm sure I will hear about it while you're standing over my grave.
So you think you're gonna get rid of me that easy,huh? After the anniversary we just had I would die a happy man.
James? Yes? Never mind.
I'm glad you came,too.
Cam.
Permission granted.
I can take it from here.
Thanks for being one of the lower-maintenance dates I've had in a while.
If it's any consolation,I don't think she'll ever love him the way she loves you.
It's not.
But thanks.
Zack,wake up.
Wake up,zack.
Zack,wake up! Proudly Presents Big Shots Season 1 Episode 09