Big Shots (2007) s01e10 Episode Script
Sex Be Not Proud
Previously on "big shots" I really do love my fe.
I have to tell wendy about our affair.
No.
Did you agree to marry terrence in order for me to get my job back? It was a gift to me.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Zack isn't your son.
What? Please, it wasn't so bad having me around.
If I see you again,I'll have you arrested and charged with fraud! Zack!Wake up, zack! We've danced around this for a long time, katie.
I love you like a brother,james.
That wasn't any kiss you give your brother.
-==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃðÃãÃé·îÃÃ==- ±¾ÃÃĻ½Ã¹©Ã§Ã°½»Ã÷£¬ÃýûÃÃÃÃÃÃõÃÃþ -=ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»Ãé=- ·ÂÃ룺¸ÃÃÃID ã㺸ÃÃÃID ñ¼äÃ᣺Breezy & ÃÃÃó That was Yeah Uh-oh.
What? I might be new to this whole dating thing, but laughter right after sex is not such a good thing.
Stop it.
I just sometimes laugh when I'm -- what? Sexually satisfied? When I'm happy.
Really?Tell me.
No, it's stupid.
No, tell me.
My hands are freezing,d I'm prepared to use them.
No.
Okay, look, maybe I'm not talking about capital-h "happiness," as in "our environment is no longer warming at an alarming rate" or "our troops are home and safe.
" This is small-h "happiness,"and you can't confuse the two.
Hands poised.
Maybe this is the last thing a man who's been off the market for 20 years is looking for but it feels nice.
A new us.
Does feel nicecapital-n "nice.
" Forbien office romance.
It sounds hot.
It's not forbidden.
We just haven't told anyone yet.
Sex is always hot when you're trying to hide it from people -- sex in moving vehicles,sex in the office, sex with your friend's mom.
My mother's in an assisted-living home.
Another theory out the window.
Just be careful,my friend.
Listen, we're both consenting adults.
Who work together.
Yeah, office romances are a breeding ground for conflict.
I see it in my line of work all the time.
Promise me you are gonna cover your ass.
And not with katie's hands.
Speaking of sex,how's zack doing? What does zack's suicide attempt have to do with sex? Nothing,but if I say "sex" first, you actually listen to me.
He's doing okay.
He's still under observation at bellevue.
Cam and I are trading off,making sure he's doing okay.
Duncan, you do remember that he's not your real kid? I remember.
It's just there's no one else.
Our pretend family is all he's got.
Aw! Great.
I spilled hollandaise sauce on my best tie.
Perfect.
Photo session for the family christmas card? No, potential client meeting with gary gregg.
Gary gregg,the yankees outfielder who can't keep himself out of jail, rehab,or his teammates' wives' pants? Yeah.
Yeah, you make him sound irresponsible.
His reps are looking for somebody who can keep him off of "page six.
" He's a free agent,and any bad publicity would screw up his contract negotiations.
Well, if you want to impress him, don't act all starstruck.
Come off confident, capable.
Right.
This is my chance to open up my client list to the sports world.
I've dealt with enough philandering ceos to last a lifetime.
No, gary gregg is my meal ticket.
He's gonna get the brody johns hands-on treatment.
I see a happy ending for gary gregg.
Funny.
What do you mean, you can't stop writing a ticket once you start? I bet a broken arm might change that policy.
Hey, hey! Look,I'm just doing my job, man.
Just like you in right field.
Oh, you know who I am?!Is that what this is about?! Hold up, gentlemen.
Hey.
Hey, I bet you we can get this worked out.
Do you have any kids? Yeah, three sons.
Three sons.
I'll bet they'd like a V.
I.
P.
Tour of yankee stadium, meet some players,get some autographs.
And I'll bet you could make that happen, huh? I suppose.
Oh, well, look at that.
We got a deal.
Shake hands, gentlemen.
Come on.
Great.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
What's your name? Brody johns,alpha crisis management.
I'm your breakfast meeting.
You want to go? I don't think so,because if that was your audition, you're hired.
Oh, that's great.
I'll tell you what --this next week, you need anything at any time, you just call me.
I got a good feeling about this.
Yes.
Hey.
Hey! You can wipe that canary-eating grin off your face before someone catches on.
Well, actually,that's why I'm here.
What would you say if I told you I'd been thinking we suld go public with our relationship? Because you're dying for some pda or because you're afraid the board will find out? The latter.
I was talking to the guys this morning, and brody mentioned it might be smart for us to protect ourselves.
Look, james, I know what amerimart's employee manual says about interoffice dating, but katie's policy is, "don't ask, don't tell.
" I'm not drafting you.
I'm just trying to protect you.
It's easy.
We go to H.
R.
,We pick up a disclosure form, and announce o relationship is consensual, free of sexual harassment,all that good stuff.
How romantic.
Look, it's not flowers and lingerie, but I think it's the smart thing to do.
Yeah, but it's the secrecy that's half the fun right now.
When we're in a meeting and you're looking at me,' i love knowing that you are looking at me.
Yeah, well,that is still gonna happen even if we sign those forms.
Yeah, but everyone else will be watching, too.
Nothing will be just between us anymore.
Maybe you're right.
I'd miss our secret meetings in the copy room.
Mmm.
We've never done that.
Wait, that wasn't you? Oh! Am I interrupting? Uh, not yet.
You will be in about 3 minutes.
Terrence? Fred landis.
You're cheating on terrence with the real-estate king? No.
I'm selling him my business.
What? Predictable, that's all.
Predictable? I hadn't even thought about it until a week ago.
When terrence suggested it.
That's the predictable part.
He just wants me to be able to travel with him.
I know your husband better than you do.
The clock is ticking.
Pretty soon, he's gonna convince you to sell your house.
Well, isn't that what people do when they get married? Oh, my god,it's already happened.
You love your house.
It hasn't happened, but terrence thinks it's a good idea.
All right.
What about you? It hasn't even been a week since you asked me to leave terrence for you, and I bet that house I love so much that you have a date tonight.
Predictable.
And double or nothing says she's under the age of 25.
But wise beyond her years.
You know, it's nice that our conversations are so predictable.
Do you have any rilo kiley? You know what?I might.
Check the liquor cabinet.
No, silly.
It's a band out of L.
A.
Oh.
Why are you getting dressed? I thought you wanted to stay in and watch old movies from the '80s.
I changed my mind.
I want to go dancing.
So get up and let's go to eeyore'S.
Come on.
Voodoo & serano are in from ibiza, and they're gonna spin all night long.
I have a rule --once I get in bed, I don't get out of bed, even when voodoo & serano are in from ibiza.
Loser.
Oh, really? Hey, luis.
What's up? Oh.
Oh, all right.
I-I'll be there in 10.
Well, I guess that rule's nohard-and-fast, huh? At least you're half right.
Oh, man.
Karl! What is it, honey? Shh! Look.
We're pregnant? Not , karl.
Marla.
I'm thinking it must be kyle'S.
You remember,her ex-boyfriend? Have you asked her about it? Not yet.
I want to respect her privacy.
This can't be good.
Fill me in.
For the past three hours,our customer call center has been logging complaints from women in the northeast region who are having allergic reactions to a third-sector production run of liquid mineral foundation.
Some kind of contamination? Yeah, seems like it.
All right.
Put a call in to our plant manager in fairfield.
Find out what happened and see if it can be contained.
After that,I want all liquid foundation pulled from shelves before morning.
Mind if I weigh in? Did someone put out the bat signal? I received a call from some concerned board members.
They're hoping I lend my professional know-how to this thing before it gets out of hand.
It's well in hand.
Tell me who's concerned,and I'll assuage them myself.
By telling them you'll be pulling product? I'm not sure that'll do the trick.
You prepared for the bad press? Are you actually proposing that we do nothing? What kind of hit do you think we'll be taking on our stock price? Dollar a share, tops.
Well, that we can handle.
Any more than that,and I assume, as captain, you'll be going down with the ship.
µ¹ù´óºà µÃ1¼¾µÃ10¼¯ yeah, I know I said I'd be home an hour ago.
I'll make it up to you I'll get you your own cappuccino gelato.
Okay.
Hey, hold on, babe.
Got another call.
Hello? Yo, brody!Great news! I'm drunk! Wow.
Congrats.
It's only 5:30.
True, but I'm on west coast time.
That would make it 2:30.
Look, are you gonna play timekeeper,or are you gonna help me out here? What do you need, gary? I told you, I've been drinking since lunchtime.
I need you to drive me home.
What, is there a cab strike I don't know about? I wonder if my next crisis manager will be funny like you.
Listen, gary,it's kind of a bad time.
You know I got this thing with my wife.
Let me ask you something,dog.
How's it gonna look when my mug shot is plastered all over the front page of the post in the morning? All right.
Sit tight.
I'll be right there.
Hey, babe.
Hey, what do we say we scratch the gelato and make an offer on the hamptons house instead? It's nothing.
Wow, you're gonna do that to me, and I only had to buy you a house? Uh, james,you got a minute? Uh, yeah.
Walk with us.
Look, just wanted to apologize for that little hiccup in my division's budget.
$2 million is more like a belch.
Yeah, um, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, you know,for understanding.
I understand it better today than I would have after we took it to the board.
It's a good thing katie went through it line by line last night.
Right.
Katie, I guess you could have brought it straight to me, but it's not your style.
What did you just say to her? Uh, I --No, james, it's okay.
I can hale myself.
I've covered your ass too many times already, kevin.
Maybe if you spent as much time going over your numbers as you do playing online poker, you wouldn't have to rely on someone bailing you out every other month.
Gentlemen.
Hey, superstar.
There he is --my top dog! You want a shot? No, thanks, I'm good.
Let me rephrase the question.
Come here, you.
Up on the table.
Oh! Now you want a shot? No, it looks great, but I'm allergic to belly-button lint.
Sorry.
Hey.
And I'm driving, remember? Oh, about that --new plan.
We're gonna chill here with these ladies instead.
Gary, I'm a crisis manager.
I'm not a wingman.
I know, but have you seen this one's body? Not getting me some of that would be the real crisis.
Why don't you help me manage that? Okay, fine.
What do you want me to do? Not much.
Just chat up her friend.
"Her friend"? Yeah.
You, uh, you hanging in there all right? Never better.
Of course,they got me so doped up, I told a therapy puppet I loved him this morning.
But, hey, enough about me.
Does it feel good to be back in charge at reveal? Good, yeah.
Tricky.
I'm back because terrence hill bought up enough stock to control the board.
He put me in charge as a wedding gift to lisbeth.
But now, do tell.
Theyon't let us watch the soaps here.
There's a situation at work.
He's leaning on me.
Threatened to fire me if our stock drops.
You want me to take him out? I have an airtight insanity defense.
How about I worry about terrence, and you just concentrate on getting well? Hmm, sounds like less fun, but, hey, you're footing the bill, huh? Ew, uh-oh.
Looks like cnn found out about your situation.
Recalls are in the news again.
Product recalls are this time affecting both high-school girls and a cosmetics giant.
Officials at mineola high school had no choice but to cancel this year's senior prom after several students, including half the girls in the prom court, broke out in rashes.
The common denominator? Reveal cosmetics' liquid mineral foundation.
My daughter, my daughter's friends -- none of them are going to be able to go to prom, because they made the mistake of believing that a company like reveal wouldn't sell them contaminated products.
Shame on you, reveal.
Yeah, I don't think anybody importa watches cnn anyway.
I know one annoying billionaire who does.
Damn.
Um, marla, can I speak to you for a moment? Wendy told me that she thinks that you're, um -- don't look so nervous, karl.
It's not yours.
It's not.
Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
I may not have a big phd like you, karl, but I can count.
The baby is tom'S.
Tom, your old boyfriend? The guy who sold used cars? That's right.
I thought you broke up long before we met.
Well, not that long.
Anyway, the baby is his.
Good.
So, have you thought about what you're going to do? I'm going to have a baby,karl! Oh, don't worry.
I'll be moving out.
Wendy's gonna help me find a place, so there's nothing for you to worry about.
You're off the hook.
Wow.
Who'd have thought,after all this, things would end so painlessly? Painless for you maybe.
You're not the one giving birth.
Mr.
Collinsworth, I-I'm not sure you're grasping the situation.
Well, that's w I have a P.
R.
Department --to explain it to me.
Last year, a group of hawaiian 4th graders collected enough proof-of-purchase labels from hearthside soup cans to win the whole class a trip to disney world.
Now, hearthside decided,in the 11th hour, that the offer was only valid in the contiguous 48 states.
I saw something about that.
Everyone did.
That's my point.
Those kids,with their cute kid faces, turned hearthside into the dark lords of the soup world.
They lost 20% of the market share.
Let's t let that happen to us.
Duncan?Ms.
Cerritas is here.
Got it.
Let me do my thing.
The day I can't swt-talk a long island prom-committee mom ms.
Cerritas, dun can collinsworth.
Duncan collinsworth,valerie cerritas.
I appreciate you meeting with me, ms.
Cerritas.
Even more lovely in person than when ripping my company on tv.
Oh, look,mr.
Collinsworth -- duncan, please.
Don't work me,mr.
Collinsworth.
I came here as a woman on a mission.
The note you sent was lovely.
But these girls started fund-raising for this prom their freshman year.
They've spent thousands of dollars on nonrefundable items.
While an apology is appreciate it really isn't enough.
Ms.
Cerritas,can I offer you a drink? Only if it comes with a very large check.
Look, mrs.
Cerritas, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a hard line.
Very well, then.
I won't take up any more of your time.
There are several other local news stations interested in our story.
I'll tell you what -- I'm nna write my counteroffer on this piece of paper.
The offer good for 10 seconds, then it goes away.
98 7 do I need to work on my poker face? Don't change a thing about your face.
At reveal cosmetics, our goal has always been to make women feel beautiful every day, but especially on the most important days otheir liveS.
So I speak for every employee here when I say how terrible we felt when we heard these girls missed their prom due to our product.
I hope that they will accept our sincere apology and our offer to give them yet another prom at the firmwood country club -- one that they will never forget! And every girl attending will receive gift baskets from reveal, like the ones arriving now, minus the contaminated products,of course.
So, thank you so much and enjoy.
You're a good egg,mr.
Collinsworth.
To be young again, huh? You couldn't pay me to go back.
All I remember about my youth is being insecure, uncultured, and too easily impressed.
Case in point -- my first marriage.
Wow.
We should have met back then.
"Easily impressed"is my type.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
I think that went well.
I hope I didn't push too hard on the terms.
Hmm.
Hard enough.
Hmm.
Actually, if you weren't overpaid, I'd give you a raise.
Really?I think I can come up with another form of compensation.
kevin, come in.
Sorry to pull you out of a meeting.
No problem.
I just wanted to catch you before your review next week.
Ah, the dreaded heads-up.
Well, nobody likes to be blindsided, right? So, I st wanted you to know that the accounting error is gonna come up.
You should be prepared to explain it.
Hmm.
Well, I -- I appreciate the forewarning.
In fact, I'm gonna offer you one in return.
I know about you and katie.
Excuse me? I saw you two in your office today.
Now, it would be a shame if your secret got out.
It'd also be a shame if I received a less-than-stellar review.
What? I just don't think a little office romance is gonna impress the board quite as much as your department's missing $2 million.
But, hey,if you want to stand up there and play games with your career, go right ahead, be my guest.
Next week should be fun.
I don't know how to break this to you, gina, but I don't think the big fella is gonna fit into this.
As I understand it, santa is something of a large man.
Well, I guess I'll just have to wear it, then.
What do you say I drop by your place tomorrow night and we can decide if you want me to be naughty or nice? Oh, all precincts have reported, and the verdict is "naughty.
" Hi.
It's for mr.
Collinsworth.
Oh, hey, uh, will you excuse me for one second? Hey, valerie, what's the rush? Duncan, hey.
What are you doing here? Everything okay with the prom? Oh, yeah.
Everything's great.
The club's bending over backwards.
The girls just insisted that I invite you.
You came all the way into the city to drop off an invitation? No, I had stuff to do.
Really? Like what? Seriously? Okay, I'm picking up his movie poster I had framed.
What movie? "Alice doesn't live here anymore.
" Oh, fantastic movie.
Ellen burstyn.
My ex-husband -- he just resented my love of the movie.
He's a shrink,so he said it represented a subconscious desire to see him dead.
Well, I think framing the thing proves him right.
When my second wife left me, I turned her walk-in closet into a cigar bar.
Well, look at us -- a couple of survivors.
So, um any chance we'll see you tomorrow night? Uh, unfortunately, I can't tomorrow.
I got a thing.
And what a pretty young thing it is.
Yeah, you'd kick yourself if you missed that event.
Can't say as I'm surprised, of course.
Okay, it's one thing when my ex-wife calls me predictable.
It's another when someone I just met thinks she's got me figured out.
Oh.
Damn my perception.
I gotta run.
The girls are gonna be disappointed.
Take care, duncan.
You too.
Hey.
So, I need to talk to you about that little jerk kevin.
"Oops, I lost track of $2 million" kevin? I was giving him a heads-up about his review, and he just happened to mention that he saw us in my office together.
And let me guess -- he threatened to use it against you? Original, right? Oh, god.
That little ass.
I never liked him.
Okay, I'm gonna head down to H.
R.
And pick up the forms by the end of the day.
Thank you.
Uh-uh.
Not until we're legal.
Brody? Brody? Brody! How you feeling, man? You look terrible.
Oh, I was out all night with my client, and the night before.
Guy's like the energizer bunny, except he's powered by long island iced tea.
So, get some rest.
Go home.
I can't.
Janelle locked me out.
Seems she wasn't too happy with having the bed to herself last night.
Hey, can I ask you guys a question? Do you think I'm predictable? Completely.
Totally.
Even the question was predictable.
Why do you ask? I'm caught between two women.
See? Predictable.
Yeah, but the only difference is one is absolutely my type -- 5'10", 23, the sex drive of a man at sea.
The other, valerie, lives in mineola, long island, spends her day driving car pool and waiting for the cable guy.
Really? I never thought you'd go for a pta type.
Me either, but every time I see her, she surprises me.
She's -- she's funny and interesting and smart.
So, what's the problem? One sounds great.
The other one's superficial.
I know.
Just remind me again who's who.
What the hell is wrong with you? What are you so happy about? You are looking at a free man, my friend.
What do you mean? Marla's moving out.
She's pregnant.
No, no, it's not mine.
It's her ex-boyfriend, tom'S.
She's officially his problem now.
Congratulations.
Well, if she was with him before you, she must be big as a house by now.
No, she's barely showing.
Oh, god, no.
All right, before you start pounding your anti-anxiety meds, why don't you just talk to this tom guy? I'm sure there's a totally credible explanation.
Hello? He did what? How you doing? Living the dream.
They told me about the incident -- you breaking into the pharmacy.
Look, zack, I know it must feel like you're in a hole right now -- Relax, dad.
I wanted to take a pleasure cruise.
I wasn't sending myself to the great beyond.
That's good, but go ahead and call me duncan.
It means so much that you came.
Mom hasn't shown up once.
You said your mom passed away.
Oh, sure, that's her excuse.
Seriously, I know it's easy to say this while I'm locked in here, but anything you need ever, just say the word.
I'll take care of it.
Thanks, zack.
I appreciate it.
Hello, is this ernie's used car emporium? Yeah, I was in a few months ago.
One of your salesmen showed me a car.
I think his name was tom.
Tom perrona? Yeah, that was it.
Could I speak to him, please? Duncan, terrence hill on line 3.
Calling to congratulate? Our stock fell $1.
20 a share.
Which we got back in the span of 24 hours.
There was no more contamination, and we could have ridden it out, never had a dip at all.
Is tt what passes as good business these days, terrence? Any chance you'll break into the "greed is good" speech? 'Cause I bet you've got it memorized.
Okay, I've told you that I'm not interested in the day-to-day affairs at reveal.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
But next time there's a crisis like this one, you will listen to what I say, or you will be looking for a new job.
What did terrence want? He wanted to make sure I knew who was boss here.
Listen, I don't quite know what this means, but maybe you do.
What? When our stock dropped to its low point, I got a call from td tressell.
You know the guy? He's a member of firmwood.
Broker, right? Right.
Wanted to know if I was interested in selling my reveal stock -- all of it -- if the price dropped any further.
The vultures are always circling.
You know that.
Except this vulture's the same one who handles all of terrence hill's investments.
Just thought you'd want to know.
Hey, you here overseeing your masterpiece? What? The prom decorations.
Have you been in the ballroom? Oh, so, you're up on all the goings-on at reveal, huh? Well, terrence keeps me in the loop.
Is that so? All right.
I'll leave you alone.
Probably a good idea.
You know what? You could be a bit more gracious.
You did get your job back.
And just as I predicted, I find myself under the thumb of a man I can't stand.
He gave you advice, duncan you didn't take it, so he moved on.
Phony advice.
What?! He wanted our stock to take a dive.
He's buying up all the shares as cheap as he can.
He wants to devalue it enough to convince the shareholders that it makes sense to sell off the company.
I don't believe you.
I didn't figure you would predictably.
Just got out of my review.
And? Torture, as usual.
Are you nervous about yours? oh, never mind.
Stupid question.
Why would you be? Well, what does that mean? Never mind.
No, come on, I want to know what you meant.
Certainly you meant something by that.
To take nothing away from you but? But everyone knows that you have james wrapped around your little finger.
Anyway, back to my meat locker.
They really have to do something about that A.
C.
Vent in my office.
So, I'm hailing a taxi down in the village.
Cabby does a u-ie, pulls up beside me, and just as I'm reaching for the door handle, this old guy in a white suit comes out of nowhere and steals my cab.
And I'm about to bark at him, right? And I get a closer look, and I realize it's tom wolfe.
Can you believe it? Tom wolfe? Author.
"The right stuff," "bonfire of the vanities.
" Tom wolfe? My cable's been out.
Anyways so, what are we doing tonight? I ordered in.
Mmm.
A little candlelight, a little conversation.
A little conversation, huh? Like, "more, more, more.
Yeah, I like it like that"? No, justconversation.
Normal stuff.
Plus, I've been waiting for a special night, and I think this qualifies, to open up this bottle.
1989 chateau lafleur.
A friend of mine in paris introduced me to it.
Wait till you taste this.
What? I'm not really a wine fan.
My dad's more the wine expert in the family.
Well, c-can I get you something else? You got any hard lemonade? Hello, darling.
Ah.
Am I late? Have I forgotten something? Promise me you'll never sell reveal.
Terrence? Promise me that's not your intention! Wasn'T.
But now I have a buyer.
And, uh, we could double our investment.
You are predictable.
Me? Wow.
I don't know.
If if, by that, you mean I predictably win in my business dealings, then, yes, absolutely, guilty as charged.
But let me ask you something.
If we're talking about predictability you must have seen duncan, yeah? And he must have whispered something in your ear.
And rather than stand by your husband, you choose to ink the worsof him, don't you? Am I close? Or am I absolutely spot-on? I think I better get out of here before one of us says something we can't take back.
I could have just stood out there all night watching those boys baffled by the valet parkers.
Half of them didn't even want to give over their car keys, they were so terrified.
It looks great, huh? Excuse me.
Duncan? Hey.
What are you doing here? Uh, I wanted someone to share a glass of wine with.
I was hoping it might be you.
Well, I'm not sure the kids should see me drinking.
Then maybe we should go somewhere private.
Yeah, it's a good thing the kids didn't see me drinking.
I hope you don't think I'm being forward, but What? You want to dance? I'd love to.
I'm paying enough, I bet I can get the deejay to play something we can dance to.
Oh, I'd like that.
Yeah? Maybe I should freshen up a little bit first.
Oh, hold that thought.
Okay, mike, and remember, tonight is for my wife, so, service -- I want a lot of hovering.
You bring more guys if you have to.
No way, psyc ho.
Not tonight.
Clearly, I've been spending too much time in manhattan.
The real action is out in the burbs.
Well, there's a reason why call it a "bedroom community.
" Hey, what do you say, next weekend I drive out to long island and take you to dinner? What's the specialty out there? Saliury steak? Pizza? I'm serious.
I know you are.
I know.
And you're sweet, duncan.
But you want to know the only thing that could poil the memory of this night? What? Pretending that it could last for more than one night.
Tonight was great, but we live completely different lives.
I could never keep up in your glamorous, fast-paced world.
And quite frankly, you couldn't keep up in mine.
Dumped at the prom.
You know I'll spend the night crying in my pillow, right? Yeah.
And what are the odds that you'll be alone at the time? You never cease to amaze me, gary.
I told you they were bad.
That paparazzi got everything on film -- the girl, the angry husband.
Oh, the right hook.
Look at that.
I was golden gloves back in akron.
Yeah, gary, I feel terrible about this.
And for the life of me, I don't know why I didn't get your voicemail.
I have already canceled my service.
Hey, there's no hard feelings, right? Aw, never.
The important thing is, you paid to keep these out of the papers.
What do you mean, i paid? Like you said, the only reason these pictures exist is because your cellphone wasn't working and you couldn't be there to help me out, right? Well, that's -- so the 200 large I was all set to pay you went to the photographer to keep these out of today's paper.
Gary, look, I know you're upset, but we have a deal.
You have to pay me.
Do I? Really? Yes, you do.
You take it out of that bundle you'll be saving on your cellphone bill.
You know, gary, I don't want to sue you.
Yeah, I can understand why.
Probably be bad for your business -- suing your clients.
Take care, dog.
I'm not your dog.
Here's your check, sir.
Good.
You're here.
Could you give this shields report the once-over? I can'T.
Okay, I'll have natalie take a look at it instead.
I can do that, but I can't do this.
"This"? Us.
Oh.
Look, james, I feel terrible.
But if I fill out these forms, I will be undoing 15 years of hard work and respect that I have earned.
All of my accomplishments will be erased and replaced with a scarlet letter.
Katie, I get it.
I do.
I mean, this is a minefield for me, too.
What does it say that we're both willing to sacrifice something so good between us for our careers? Probably nothing we should be proud of.
We're -- we're not gonna be awkward with each other now, are we? Maybe, but not because anything about this was a mistake.
So, I guess this is it.
Friends? Friends.
Kevin.
Hey.
Got some good news for you, pal.
And what might that be? Well, you don't have to worry about your review next week.
Thought that might be the good news.
Yeah.
There's also some bad news.
Security is on their way up.
You need to box up your stuff and get out.
I'm afraid you don't work here anymore.
Kevin, you all right, there, buddy? I'll go to the board.
Oh, you do that.
I-I think you'll find they're much more interested in a missing pile of cash than what you think you saw in my office.
Well, then, looks like they're here.
Um, good luck in your future endeavors.
What?! The baby.
It's mine, isn't it? I spoke to tom.
He said you broke up five months ago, and he hasn't seen you since.
Yes it's yours.
Why didn't you tell me? That's my baby.
I have a right to make decisions about it.
Because, karl, where would that leave us? Wendy didn't want me to get pregnant in this way.
That's right.
And that's why we need to tell her.
What?! No, karl! Never! Wendy is my best friend and your wife.
Do you know what this would do to her? I'm sorry, but she has a right to know.
We have to come clean.
We have to tell wendy.
Tell me what? The good news -- I was able to achieve every teenage boy's fantasy.
What? A 13-hour erection? Prom-night sex.
And the bad news? She dumped me right after.
Well, at least, no one can say you're predictable anymore.
Bellevue hospital? I got to admit, it freaks me out a little every time I see the caller I.
D.
Hey, zack.
I'm sorry, I thought it was really? Since when? All right, doctor.
Thank you very much.
Uh, let me know if there's anything I can do.
What's wrong? Zack's missing.
Hey, terrence.
I'm sorry.
May I help you? Terrence! Oh, god! No! Come on.
Someone help! Come on.
Come on.
Stay with me.
Somebody, please help us!
I have to tell wendy about our affair.
No.
Did you agree to marry terrence in order for me to get my job back? It was a gift to me.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Zack isn't your son.
What? Please, it wasn't so bad having me around.
If I see you again,I'll have you arrested and charged with fraud! Zack!Wake up, zack! We've danced around this for a long time, katie.
I love you like a brother,james.
That wasn't any kiss you give your brother.
-==ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃðÃãÃé·îÃÃ==- ±¾ÃÃĻ½Ã¹©Ã§Ã°½»Ã÷£¬ÃýûÃÃÃÃÃÃõÃÃþ -=ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÄ»Ãé=- ·ÂÃ룺¸ÃÃÃID ã㺸ÃÃÃID ñ¼äÃ᣺Breezy & ÃÃÃó That was Yeah Uh-oh.
What? I might be new to this whole dating thing, but laughter right after sex is not such a good thing.
Stop it.
I just sometimes laugh when I'm -- what? Sexually satisfied? When I'm happy.
Really?Tell me.
No, it's stupid.
No, tell me.
My hands are freezing,d I'm prepared to use them.
No.
Okay, look, maybe I'm not talking about capital-h "happiness," as in "our environment is no longer warming at an alarming rate" or "our troops are home and safe.
" This is small-h "happiness,"and you can't confuse the two.
Hands poised.
Maybe this is the last thing a man who's been off the market for 20 years is looking for but it feels nice.
A new us.
Does feel nicecapital-n "nice.
" Forbien office romance.
It sounds hot.
It's not forbidden.
We just haven't told anyone yet.
Sex is always hot when you're trying to hide it from people -- sex in moving vehicles,sex in the office, sex with your friend's mom.
My mother's in an assisted-living home.
Another theory out the window.
Just be careful,my friend.
Listen, we're both consenting adults.
Who work together.
Yeah, office romances are a breeding ground for conflict.
I see it in my line of work all the time.
Promise me you are gonna cover your ass.
And not with katie's hands.
Speaking of sex,how's zack doing? What does zack's suicide attempt have to do with sex? Nothing,but if I say "sex" first, you actually listen to me.
He's doing okay.
He's still under observation at bellevue.
Cam and I are trading off,making sure he's doing okay.
Duncan, you do remember that he's not your real kid? I remember.
It's just there's no one else.
Our pretend family is all he's got.
Aw! Great.
I spilled hollandaise sauce on my best tie.
Perfect.
Photo session for the family christmas card? No, potential client meeting with gary gregg.
Gary gregg,the yankees outfielder who can't keep himself out of jail, rehab,or his teammates' wives' pants? Yeah.
Yeah, you make him sound irresponsible.
His reps are looking for somebody who can keep him off of "page six.
" He's a free agent,and any bad publicity would screw up his contract negotiations.
Well, if you want to impress him, don't act all starstruck.
Come off confident, capable.
Right.
This is my chance to open up my client list to the sports world.
I've dealt with enough philandering ceos to last a lifetime.
No, gary gregg is my meal ticket.
He's gonna get the brody johns hands-on treatment.
I see a happy ending for gary gregg.
Funny.
What do you mean, you can't stop writing a ticket once you start? I bet a broken arm might change that policy.
Hey, hey! Look,I'm just doing my job, man.
Just like you in right field.
Oh, you know who I am?!Is that what this is about?! Hold up, gentlemen.
Hey.
Hey, I bet you we can get this worked out.
Do you have any kids? Yeah, three sons.
Three sons.
I'll bet they'd like a V.
I.
P.
Tour of yankee stadium, meet some players,get some autographs.
And I'll bet you could make that happen, huh? I suppose.
Oh, well, look at that.
We got a deal.
Shake hands, gentlemen.
Come on.
Great.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
What's your name? Brody johns,alpha crisis management.
I'm your breakfast meeting.
You want to go? I don't think so,because if that was your audition, you're hired.
Oh, that's great.
I'll tell you what --this next week, you need anything at any time, you just call me.
I got a good feeling about this.
Yes.
Hey.
Hey! You can wipe that canary-eating grin off your face before someone catches on.
Well, actually,that's why I'm here.
What would you say if I told you I'd been thinking we suld go public with our relationship? Because you're dying for some pda or because you're afraid the board will find out? The latter.
I was talking to the guys this morning, and brody mentioned it might be smart for us to protect ourselves.
Look, james, I know what amerimart's employee manual says about interoffice dating, but katie's policy is, "don't ask, don't tell.
" I'm not drafting you.
I'm just trying to protect you.
It's easy.
We go to H.
R.
,We pick up a disclosure form, and announce o relationship is consensual, free of sexual harassment,all that good stuff.
How romantic.
Look, it's not flowers and lingerie, but I think it's the smart thing to do.
Yeah, but it's the secrecy that's half the fun right now.
When we're in a meeting and you're looking at me,' i love knowing that you are looking at me.
Yeah, well,that is still gonna happen even if we sign those forms.
Yeah, but everyone else will be watching, too.
Nothing will be just between us anymore.
Maybe you're right.
I'd miss our secret meetings in the copy room.
Mmm.
We've never done that.
Wait, that wasn't you? Oh! Am I interrupting? Uh, not yet.
You will be in about 3 minutes.
Terrence? Fred landis.
You're cheating on terrence with the real-estate king? No.
I'm selling him my business.
What? Predictable, that's all.
Predictable? I hadn't even thought about it until a week ago.
When terrence suggested it.
That's the predictable part.
He just wants me to be able to travel with him.
I know your husband better than you do.
The clock is ticking.
Pretty soon, he's gonna convince you to sell your house.
Well, isn't that what people do when they get married? Oh, my god,it's already happened.
You love your house.
It hasn't happened, but terrence thinks it's a good idea.
All right.
What about you? It hasn't even been a week since you asked me to leave terrence for you, and I bet that house I love so much that you have a date tonight.
Predictable.
And double or nothing says she's under the age of 25.
But wise beyond her years.
You know, it's nice that our conversations are so predictable.
Do you have any rilo kiley? You know what?I might.
Check the liquor cabinet.
No, silly.
It's a band out of L.
A.
Oh.
Why are you getting dressed? I thought you wanted to stay in and watch old movies from the '80s.
I changed my mind.
I want to go dancing.
So get up and let's go to eeyore'S.
Come on.
Voodoo & serano are in from ibiza, and they're gonna spin all night long.
I have a rule --once I get in bed, I don't get out of bed, even when voodoo & serano are in from ibiza.
Loser.
Oh, really? Hey, luis.
What's up? Oh.
Oh, all right.
I-I'll be there in 10.
Well, I guess that rule's nohard-and-fast, huh? At least you're half right.
Oh, man.
Karl! What is it, honey? Shh! Look.
We're pregnant? Not , karl.
Marla.
I'm thinking it must be kyle'S.
You remember,her ex-boyfriend? Have you asked her about it? Not yet.
I want to respect her privacy.
This can't be good.
Fill me in.
For the past three hours,our customer call center has been logging complaints from women in the northeast region who are having allergic reactions to a third-sector production run of liquid mineral foundation.
Some kind of contamination? Yeah, seems like it.
All right.
Put a call in to our plant manager in fairfield.
Find out what happened and see if it can be contained.
After that,I want all liquid foundation pulled from shelves before morning.
Mind if I weigh in? Did someone put out the bat signal? I received a call from some concerned board members.
They're hoping I lend my professional know-how to this thing before it gets out of hand.
It's well in hand.
Tell me who's concerned,and I'll assuage them myself.
By telling them you'll be pulling product? I'm not sure that'll do the trick.
You prepared for the bad press? Are you actually proposing that we do nothing? What kind of hit do you think we'll be taking on our stock price? Dollar a share, tops.
Well, that we can handle.
Any more than that,and I assume, as captain, you'll be going down with the ship.
µ¹ù´óºà µÃ1¼¾µÃ10¼¯ yeah, I know I said I'd be home an hour ago.
I'll make it up to you I'll get you your own cappuccino gelato.
Okay.
Hey, hold on, babe.
Got another call.
Hello? Yo, brody!Great news! I'm drunk! Wow.
Congrats.
It's only 5:30.
True, but I'm on west coast time.
That would make it 2:30.
Look, are you gonna play timekeeper,or are you gonna help me out here? What do you need, gary? I told you, I've been drinking since lunchtime.
I need you to drive me home.
What, is there a cab strike I don't know about? I wonder if my next crisis manager will be funny like you.
Listen, gary,it's kind of a bad time.
You know I got this thing with my wife.
Let me ask you something,dog.
How's it gonna look when my mug shot is plastered all over the front page of the post in the morning? All right.
Sit tight.
I'll be right there.
Hey, babe.
Hey, what do we say we scratch the gelato and make an offer on the hamptons house instead? It's nothing.
Wow, you're gonna do that to me, and I only had to buy you a house? Uh, james,you got a minute? Uh, yeah.
Walk with us.
Look, just wanted to apologize for that little hiccup in my division's budget.
$2 million is more like a belch.
Yeah, um, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, you know,for understanding.
I understand it better today than I would have after we took it to the board.
It's a good thing katie went through it line by line last night.
Right.
Katie, I guess you could have brought it straight to me, but it's not your style.
What did you just say to her? Uh, I --No, james, it's okay.
I can hale myself.
I've covered your ass too many times already, kevin.
Maybe if you spent as much time going over your numbers as you do playing online poker, you wouldn't have to rely on someone bailing you out every other month.
Gentlemen.
Hey, superstar.
There he is --my top dog! You want a shot? No, thanks, I'm good.
Let me rephrase the question.
Come here, you.
Up on the table.
Oh! Now you want a shot? No, it looks great, but I'm allergic to belly-button lint.
Sorry.
Hey.
And I'm driving, remember? Oh, about that --new plan.
We're gonna chill here with these ladies instead.
Gary, I'm a crisis manager.
I'm not a wingman.
I know, but have you seen this one's body? Not getting me some of that would be the real crisis.
Why don't you help me manage that? Okay, fine.
What do you want me to do? Not much.
Just chat up her friend.
"Her friend"? Yeah.
You, uh, you hanging in there all right? Never better.
Of course,they got me so doped up, I told a therapy puppet I loved him this morning.
But, hey, enough about me.
Does it feel good to be back in charge at reveal? Good, yeah.
Tricky.
I'm back because terrence hill bought up enough stock to control the board.
He put me in charge as a wedding gift to lisbeth.
But now, do tell.
Theyon't let us watch the soaps here.
There's a situation at work.
He's leaning on me.
Threatened to fire me if our stock drops.
You want me to take him out? I have an airtight insanity defense.
How about I worry about terrence, and you just concentrate on getting well? Hmm, sounds like less fun, but, hey, you're footing the bill, huh? Ew, uh-oh.
Looks like cnn found out about your situation.
Recalls are in the news again.
Product recalls are this time affecting both high-school girls and a cosmetics giant.
Officials at mineola high school had no choice but to cancel this year's senior prom after several students, including half the girls in the prom court, broke out in rashes.
The common denominator? Reveal cosmetics' liquid mineral foundation.
My daughter, my daughter's friends -- none of them are going to be able to go to prom, because they made the mistake of believing that a company like reveal wouldn't sell them contaminated products.
Shame on you, reveal.
Yeah, I don't think anybody importa watches cnn anyway.
I know one annoying billionaire who does.
Damn.
Um, marla, can I speak to you for a moment? Wendy told me that she thinks that you're, um -- don't look so nervous, karl.
It's not yours.
It's not.
Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
I may not have a big phd like you, karl, but I can count.
The baby is tom'S.
Tom, your old boyfriend? The guy who sold used cars? That's right.
I thought you broke up long before we met.
Well, not that long.
Anyway, the baby is his.
Good.
So, have you thought about what you're going to do? I'm going to have a baby,karl! Oh, don't worry.
I'll be moving out.
Wendy's gonna help me find a place, so there's nothing for you to worry about.
You're off the hook.
Wow.
Who'd have thought,after all this, things would end so painlessly? Painless for you maybe.
You're not the one giving birth.
Mr.
Collinsworth, I-I'm not sure you're grasping the situation.
Well, that's w I have a P.
R.
Department --to explain it to me.
Last year, a group of hawaiian 4th graders collected enough proof-of-purchase labels from hearthside soup cans to win the whole class a trip to disney world.
Now, hearthside decided,in the 11th hour, that the offer was only valid in the contiguous 48 states.
I saw something about that.
Everyone did.
That's my point.
Those kids,with their cute kid faces, turned hearthside into the dark lords of the soup world.
They lost 20% of the market share.
Let's t let that happen to us.
Duncan?Ms.
Cerritas is here.
Got it.
Let me do my thing.
The day I can't swt-talk a long island prom-committee mom ms.
Cerritas, dun can collinsworth.
Duncan collinsworth,valerie cerritas.
I appreciate you meeting with me, ms.
Cerritas.
Even more lovely in person than when ripping my company on tv.
Oh, look,mr.
Collinsworth -- duncan, please.
Don't work me,mr.
Collinsworth.
I came here as a woman on a mission.
The note you sent was lovely.
But these girls started fund-raising for this prom their freshman year.
They've spent thousands of dollars on nonrefundable items.
While an apology is appreciate it really isn't enough.
Ms.
Cerritas,can I offer you a drink? Only if it comes with a very large check.
Look, mrs.
Cerritas, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a hard line.
Very well, then.
I won't take up any more of your time.
There are several other local news stations interested in our story.
I'll tell you what -- I'm nna write my counteroffer on this piece of paper.
The offer good for 10 seconds, then it goes away.
98 7 do I need to work on my poker face? Don't change a thing about your face.
At reveal cosmetics, our goal has always been to make women feel beautiful every day, but especially on the most important days otheir liveS.
So I speak for every employee here when I say how terrible we felt when we heard these girls missed their prom due to our product.
I hope that they will accept our sincere apology and our offer to give them yet another prom at the firmwood country club -- one that they will never forget! And every girl attending will receive gift baskets from reveal, like the ones arriving now, minus the contaminated products,of course.
So, thank you so much and enjoy.
You're a good egg,mr.
Collinsworth.
To be young again, huh? You couldn't pay me to go back.
All I remember about my youth is being insecure, uncultured, and too easily impressed.
Case in point -- my first marriage.
Wow.
We should have met back then.
"Easily impressed"is my type.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you.
I think that went well.
I hope I didn't push too hard on the terms.
Hmm.
Hard enough.
Hmm.
Actually, if you weren't overpaid, I'd give you a raise.
Really?I think I can come up with another form of compensation.
kevin, come in.
Sorry to pull you out of a meeting.
No problem.
I just wanted to catch you before your review next week.
Ah, the dreaded heads-up.
Well, nobody likes to be blindsided, right? So, I st wanted you to know that the accounting error is gonna come up.
You should be prepared to explain it.
Hmm.
Well, I -- I appreciate the forewarning.
In fact, I'm gonna offer you one in return.
I know about you and katie.
Excuse me? I saw you two in your office today.
Now, it would be a shame if your secret got out.
It'd also be a shame if I received a less-than-stellar review.
What? I just don't think a little office romance is gonna impress the board quite as much as your department's missing $2 million.
But, hey,if you want to stand up there and play games with your career, go right ahead, be my guest.
Next week should be fun.
I don't know how to break this to you, gina, but I don't think the big fella is gonna fit into this.
As I understand it, santa is something of a large man.
Well, I guess I'll just have to wear it, then.
What do you say I drop by your place tomorrow night and we can decide if you want me to be naughty or nice? Oh, all precincts have reported, and the verdict is "naughty.
" Hi.
It's for mr.
Collinsworth.
Oh, hey, uh, will you excuse me for one second? Hey, valerie, what's the rush? Duncan, hey.
What are you doing here? Everything okay with the prom? Oh, yeah.
Everything's great.
The club's bending over backwards.
The girls just insisted that I invite you.
You came all the way into the city to drop off an invitation? No, I had stuff to do.
Really? Like what? Seriously? Okay, I'm picking up his movie poster I had framed.
What movie? "Alice doesn't live here anymore.
" Oh, fantastic movie.
Ellen burstyn.
My ex-husband -- he just resented my love of the movie.
He's a shrink,so he said it represented a subconscious desire to see him dead.
Well, I think framing the thing proves him right.
When my second wife left me, I turned her walk-in closet into a cigar bar.
Well, look at us -- a couple of survivors.
So, um any chance we'll see you tomorrow night? Uh, unfortunately, I can't tomorrow.
I got a thing.
And what a pretty young thing it is.
Yeah, you'd kick yourself if you missed that event.
Can't say as I'm surprised, of course.
Okay, it's one thing when my ex-wife calls me predictable.
It's another when someone I just met thinks she's got me figured out.
Oh.
Damn my perception.
I gotta run.
The girls are gonna be disappointed.
Take care, duncan.
You too.
Hey.
So, I need to talk to you about that little jerk kevin.
"Oops, I lost track of $2 million" kevin? I was giving him a heads-up about his review, and he just happened to mention that he saw us in my office together.
And let me guess -- he threatened to use it against you? Original, right? Oh, god.
That little ass.
I never liked him.
Okay, I'm gonna head down to H.
R.
And pick up the forms by the end of the day.
Thank you.
Uh-uh.
Not until we're legal.
Brody? Brody? Brody! How you feeling, man? You look terrible.
Oh, I was out all night with my client, and the night before.
Guy's like the energizer bunny, except he's powered by long island iced tea.
So, get some rest.
Go home.
I can't.
Janelle locked me out.
Seems she wasn't too happy with having the bed to herself last night.
Hey, can I ask you guys a question? Do you think I'm predictable? Completely.
Totally.
Even the question was predictable.
Why do you ask? I'm caught between two women.
See? Predictable.
Yeah, but the only difference is one is absolutely my type -- 5'10", 23, the sex drive of a man at sea.
The other, valerie, lives in mineola, long island, spends her day driving car pool and waiting for the cable guy.
Really? I never thought you'd go for a pta type.
Me either, but every time I see her, she surprises me.
She's -- she's funny and interesting and smart.
So, what's the problem? One sounds great.
The other one's superficial.
I know.
Just remind me again who's who.
What the hell is wrong with you? What are you so happy about? You are looking at a free man, my friend.
What do you mean? Marla's moving out.
She's pregnant.
No, no, it's not mine.
It's her ex-boyfriend, tom'S.
She's officially his problem now.
Congratulations.
Well, if she was with him before you, she must be big as a house by now.
No, she's barely showing.
Oh, god, no.
All right, before you start pounding your anti-anxiety meds, why don't you just talk to this tom guy? I'm sure there's a totally credible explanation.
Hello? He did what? How you doing? Living the dream.
They told me about the incident -- you breaking into the pharmacy.
Look, zack, I know it must feel like you're in a hole right now -- Relax, dad.
I wanted to take a pleasure cruise.
I wasn't sending myself to the great beyond.
That's good, but go ahead and call me duncan.
It means so much that you came.
Mom hasn't shown up once.
You said your mom passed away.
Oh, sure, that's her excuse.
Seriously, I know it's easy to say this while I'm locked in here, but anything you need ever, just say the word.
I'll take care of it.
Thanks, zack.
I appreciate it.
Hello, is this ernie's used car emporium? Yeah, I was in a few months ago.
One of your salesmen showed me a car.
I think his name was tom.
Tom perrona? Yeah, that was it.
Could I speak to him, please? Duncan, terrence hill on line 3.
Calling to congratulate? Our stock fell $1.
20 a share.
Which we got back in the span of 24 hours.
There was no more contamination, and we could have ridden it out, never had a dip at all.
Is tt what passes as good business these days, terrence? Any chance you'll break into the "greed is good" speech? 'Cause I bet you've got it memorized.
Okay, I've told you that I'm not interested in the day-to-day affairs at reveal.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
But next time there's a crisis like this one, you will listen to what I say, or you will be looking for a new job.
What did terrence want? He wanted to make sure I knew who was boss here.
Listen, I don't quite know what this means, but maybe you do.
What? When our stock dropped to its low point, I got a call from td tressell.
You know the guy? He's a member of firmwood.
Broker, right? Right.
Wanted to know if I was interested in selling my reveal stock -- all of it -- if the price dropped any further.
The vultures are always circling.
You know that.
Except this vulture's the same one who handles all of terrence hill's investments.
Just thought you'd want to know.
Hey, you here overseeing your masterpiece? What? The prom decorations.
Have you been in the ballroom? Oh, so, you're up on all the goings-on at reveal, huh? Well, terrence keeps me in the loop.
Is that so? All right.
I'll leave you alone.
Probably a good idea.
You know what? You could be a bit more gracious.
You did get your job back.
And just as I predicted, I find myself under the thumb of a man I can't stand.
He gave you advice, duncan you didn't take it, so he moved on.
Phony advice.
What?! He wanted our stock to take a dive.
He's buying up all the shares as cheap as he can.
He wants to devalue it enough to convince the shareholders that it makes sense to sell off the company.
I don't believe you.
I didn't figure you would predictably.
Just got out of my review.
And? Torture, as usual.
Are you nervous about yours? oh, never mind.
Stupid question.
Why would you be? Well, what does that mean? Never mind.
No, come on, I want to know what you meant.
Certainly you meant something by that.
To take nothing away from you but? But everyone knows that you have james wrapped around your little finger.
Anyway, back to my meat locker.
They really have to do something about that A.
C.
Vent in my office.
So, I'm hailing a taxi down in the village.
Cabby does a u-ie, pulls up beside me, and just as I'm reaching for the door handle, this old guy in a white suit comes out of nowhere and steals my cab.
And I'm about to bark at him, right? And I get a closer look, and I realize it's tom wolfe.
Can you believe it? Tom wolfe? Author.
"The right stuff," "bonfire of the vanities.
" Tom wolfe? My cable's been out.
Anyways so, what are we doing tonight? I ordered in.
Mmm.
A little candlelight, a little conversation.
A little conversation, huh? Like, "more, more, more.
Yeah, I like it like that"? No, justconversation.
Normal stuff.
Plus, I've been waiting for a special night, and I think this qualifies, to open up this bottle.
1989 chateau lafleur.
A friend of mine in paris introduced me to it.
Wait till you taste this.
What? I'm not really a wine fan.
My dad's more the wine expert in the family.
Well, c-can I get you something else? You got any hard lemonade? Hello, darling.
Ah.
Am I late? Have I forgotten something? Promise me you'll never sell reveal.
Terrence? Promise me that's not your intention! Wasn'T.
But now I have a buyer.
And, uh, we could double our investment.
You are predictable.
Me? Wow.
I don't know.
If if, by that, you mean I predictably win in my business dealings, then, yes, absolutely, guilty as charged.
But let me ask you something.
If we're talking about predictability you must have seen duncan, yeah? And he must have whispered something in your ear.
And rather than stand by your husband, you choose to ink the worsof him, don't you? Am I close? Or am I absolutely spot-on? I think I better get out of here before one of us says something we can't take back.
I could have just stood out there all night watching those boys baffled by the valet parkers.
Half of them didn't even want to give over their car keys, they were so terrified.
It looks great, huh? Excuse me.
Duncan? Hey.
What are you doing here? Uh, I wanted someone to share a glass of wine with.
I was hoping it might be you.
Well, I'm not sure the kids should see me drinking.
Then maybe we should go somewhere private.
Yeah, it's a good thing the kids didn't see me drinking.
I hope you don't think I'm being forward, but What? You want to dance? I'd love to.
I'm paying enough, I bet I can get the deejay to play something we can dance to.
Oh, I'd like that.
Yeah? Maybe I should freshen up a little bit first.
Oh, hold that thought.
Okay, mike, and remember, tonight is for my wife, so, service -- I want a lot of hovering.
You bring more guys if you have to.
No way, psyc ho.
Not tonight.
Clearly, I've been spending too much time in manhattan.
The real action is out in the burbs.
Well, there's a reason why call it a "bedroom community.
" Hey, what do you say, next weekend I drive out to long island and take you to dinner? What's the specialty out there? Saliury steak? Pizza? I'm serious.
I know you are.
I know.
And you're sweet, duncan.
But you want to know the only thing that could poil the memory of this night? What? Pretending that it could last for more than one night.
Tonight was great, but we live completely different lives.
I could never keep up in your glamorous, fast-paced world.
And quite frankly, you couldn't keep up in mine.
Dumped at the prom.
You know I'll spend the night crying in my pillow, right? Yeah.
And what are the odds that you'll be alone at the time? You never cease to amaze me, gary.
I told you they were bad.
That paparazzi got everything on film -- the girl, the angry husband.
Oh, the right hook.
Look at that.
I was golden gloves back in akron.
Yeah, gary, I feel terrible about this.
And for the life of me, I don't know why I didn't get your voicemail.
I have already canceled my service.
Hey, there's no hard feelings, right? Aw, never.
The important thing is, you paid to keep these out of the papers.
What do you mean, i paid? Like you said, the only reason these pictures exist is because your cellphone wasn't working and you couldn't be there to help me out, right? Well, that's -- so the 200 large I was all set to pay you went to the photographer to keep these out of today's paper.
Gary, look, I know you're upset, but we have a deal.
You have to pay me.
Do I? Really? Yes, you do.
You take it out of that bundle you'll be saving on your cellphone bill.
You know, gary, I don't want to sue you.
Yeah, I can understand why.
Probably be bad for your business -- suing your clients.
Take care, dog.
I'm not your dog.
Here's your check, sir.
Good.
You're here.
Could you give this shields report the once-over? I can'T.
Okay, I'll have natalie take a look at it instead.
I can do that, but I can't do this.
"This"? Us.
Oh.
Look, james, I feel terrible.
But if I fill out these forms, I will be undoing 15 years of hard work and respect that I have earned.
All of my accomplishments will be erased and replaced with a scarlet letter.
Katie, I get it.
I do.
I mean, this is a minefield for me, too.
What does it say that we're both willing to sacrifice something so good between us for our careers? Probably nothing we should be proud of.
We're -- we're not gonna be awkward with each other now, are we? Maybe, but not because anything about this was a mistake.
So, I guess this is it.
Friends? Friends.
Kevin.
Hey.
Got some good news for you, pal.
And what might that be? Well, you don't have to worry about your review next week.
Thought that might be the good news.
Yeah.
There's also some bad news.
Security is on their way up.
You need to box up your stuff and get out.
I'm afraid you don't work here anymore.
Kevin, you all right, there, buddy? I'll go to the board.
Oh, you do that.
I-I think you'll find they're much more interested in a missing pile of cash than what you think you saw in my office.
Well, then, looks like they're here.
Um, good luck in your future endeavors.
What?! The baby.
It's mine, isn't it? I spoke to tom.
He said you broke up five months ago, and he hasn't seen you since.
Yes it's yours.
Why didn't you tell me? That's my baby.
I have a right to make decisions about it.
Because, karl, where would that leave us? Wendy didn't want me to get pregnant in this way.
That's right.
And that's why we need to tell her.
What?! No, karl! Never! Wendy is my best friend and your wife.
Do you know what this would do to her? I'm sorry, but she has a right to know.
We have to come clean.
We have to tell wendy.
Tell me what? The good news -- I was able to achieve every teenage boy's fantasy.
What? A 13-hour erection? Prom-night sex.
And the bad news? She dumped me right after.
Well, at least, no one can say you're predictable anymore.
Bellevue hospital? I got to admit, it freaks me out a little every time I see the caller I.
D.
Hey, zack.
I'm sorry, I thought it was really? Since when? All right, doctor.
Thank you very much.
Uh, let me know if there's anything I can do.
What's wrong? Zack's missing.
Hey, terrence.
I'm sorry.
May I help you? Terrence! Oh, god! No! Come on.
Someone help! Come on.
Come on.
Stay with me.
Somebody, please help us!