Big Train (1998) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
# Big Train # Big Train We're going to make a brief statement to the press, and then you can make your statement.
Just remember, if you do feel at any time that you want to stop, just say.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
lf l could have your attention, please.
The family are deeply concerned about the disappearance of Mr Simmons.
Mrs Simmons would like to appeal to her husband, if he is watching, to return home.
Now, Mrs Simmons does have a prepared statement she'd like to read from.
Mrs Simmons, when you're ready.
John, if you're watching this, we want you to know that we miss you very much, and we love you very, very much.
We need Are you OK? You don't have to carry on if you don't want to.
Are you sure? l would like to stress at this point that we are not looking for Mr Simmons in connection with the murders of Juliette and Anne Simmons.
We simply want to eliminate him from our enquiries.
Thank you very much for coming, once again, and we will keep you posted as to any developments as they transpire.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
(buzzer sounds) (chokes and gibbers) l hate you, Butler! (pants and groans) (continues choking and gibbering) Ooh.
Very tart.
(John) Now this, as they say, is the big one.
Benny Kiang against Leonard Hulz.
If you've just joined us, you're watching the 43rd World Stare-Out Championship finals.
Leonard Hulz, he's such a natural talent.
Incredible to think he won't be 1 8 until May.
And this massive crowd which has turned out today, but the majority, you have to say, are here to see the youngster from Chesterfield.
(David) Yes, and you've got to feel slightly sorry for the German.
I would say almost everyone here wants to see Leonard win and go on to the final.
(John) And he has his lucky panda, Dee Dee, with him today.
And lots of girls in the crowd with their little pandas too.
I read somewhere that his fan club is now 250,000 members strong.
And you get a free panda when you join.
(David) I mean, he's a he's a hero to the young, isn't he? He's the sort of man that will get young people looking at staring and saying, ''Yes, I want to stare.
'' (man) In my line of work, you have to be on your toes.
There's a new challenge every day, and that's the way I like it.
l enjoy having fun, although every now and again my body lets me down.
But now l've discovered Elaine Mason's Misters.
They absorb liquid, and they don't catch fire like Jay Pads.
Because they suck in air and trap it.
And best of all, because Misters are made of foam they gradually regain their shape, and don't shred or tear.
Elaine Mason's Misters.
Don't let your body let you down.
(spooky '50s-style space music) What have you for me today, Balu? We have captured the escaped slaves in sector G, Excellency.
Throw them into the pit of fire.
Even the woman? No.
Have her sent to my chambers tonight.
Anything else? Yes, Excellency.
We have a new world for you to destroy.
A filthy little planet they call Eaaarrrrth.
Excellent.
Now leave me.
(door opens then closes) (footsteps) (woman) Um Hi.
Um Oh, God, I can't remember why I was calling now.
Um Oh, shit, I can't remember the messagel Um Oh God, I'll have to call Balu here.
If you can just get a pen handy.
I'm afraid that woman you wanted sent to your chambers was executed.
Sorry.
But I've got the number of an escort agency here.
It's 87 6 55521 22.
Sorry about the mix-up.
Bye.
(man) We've got a football match on Wednesday night, and a couple of the lads are going out for a drink afterwards.
I'll try and ring you later - (dramatic music on TV) - Oh, for God's sake.
Oh Oh, fucking hell.
(mutters) (theme music from ''Teletubbies'') - (TV) # Tinky Winky - # Tinky Winky - (TV) # Dipsy - # Dipsy.
- (TV) # Laa-Laa - # Laa-Laa - (TV) # Po - # Po # Teletubbies (TV) Scientists have come a step closer to realising the dreams of ''Star Trek'' fans Rubbish.
Rubbish! Stupid man! (TV) Next on Channel 2, Cindy Crawford takes us through some of her favourite bras.
(music plays) (whirring) (doorbell) (opens door) (deep, scary voice) Sire, we've captured Prince Vorgon attempting to leave Climier.
(Excellency) Throw him into the pit of ice! (door closes) - There it is.
- Where? - Just up there.
Look, look, look.
- Where? See that rock, and the one at the top? Right between it.
Which one, which rock? - No, l can't see Where? - Yeah, just look.
Look.
- You can see it, look.
- l can't.
There.
Follow my fingers.
There.
- No, where? Where? - Come a bit closer.
Under there.
- There.
- Oh, yeah! - You can just see the top of the head.
- Fantastic.
Look, there's a little one down there.
Oh my God, look.
- She's so cute.
- Gosh, she moves fast.
- She hasn't developed the full - No, no, she hasn't.
(whistles) (they laugh excitedly) Look at that.
Oh, my God! Amazing.
- l've never seen them so close before.
- lt's fantastic.
Absolutely fantastic.
Hey up, she's going up for breakfast.
- Oi! - (all laugh) Hey, watch it, you, eh? (John) Let's just take a closer look, David, at the man who's had a street named after him in his native Santiago, Benny Kiang.
Benny Kiang.
It doesn't get much better than that, John, does it, eh? How many people have got a street named after 'em? No, he's a giant.
He's a giant of staring.
There is a slight question mark over his temperament, because he does tend to court controversy.
Only last year he got involved in an altercation at a petrol station with somebody, over some unleaded petrol or something, I don't know what the details were.
But he hit somebody, and quite hard, apparently.
And the man needed stitches, and his jaw rewiring.
But, anyway, Benny's done his time for that.
He actually gave stare-out lessons to street children in Santiago by way of a punishment, so there's a silver lining in every cloud, John.
(John) Today's match officials, Ken Todd and Brian Featherhead.
So, how have you both been since the last session? Well, we did have one quite major argument last week, l have to admit that.
But, um We got over it.
Good, good.
And what about the sexual side, how's that been going? Well, l think there's been a bit of an improvement.
Did you try my suggestion to make love in places you wouldn't normally? Yeah, well, um we tried it behind a supermarket, actually.
How was that? Well, there was a bit of a bad smell from the bins.
Yeah, it was They really stank.
Mm.
And l found the metal bits in the bins stuck into my flesh.
(exhales raggedly) Actually it was a bit grubby round there.
Some crisps got inside my jeans.
What fla flavour were they? We don't know.
lt's a bit embarrassing, actually.
We got interrupted.
So there were people w-watching you? There was an old couple.
(man) Yeah, and their dog.
We had to run away.
So your your breasts probably had been bobbing up and down.
Yes.
See, when the breasts bob up and down (man) Oi! Oi! Oi! Come back here! Professor Hicks, you're still here.
lt's almost midnight.
l know, Janet.
You just You go on home.
l'm nearly finished here.
OK.
Good night, Professor.
(Professor) Look at that.
(laughs) Yeah.
Oh, God, yeah.
(laughs) Brilliant.
(spooky music) (woman) Well, they say rest is the best thing.
Yes.
When d'you think they'll move you to a private room? Hopefully at the weekend.
There was a problem.
Somebody messed up on the private insurance.
Ooh, you'll want to get that sorted out.
Has your dad been to see you yet? No.
(knock at door) Hello.
Oh, sorry.
Am l interrupting? - No, no.
- (woman) We were just going anyway.
Mum, Sandra, this is Rolex, ruler of the planet Tharsus.
Rolex, this is Mum and Sandra.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Sorry, l didn't catch the name.
- lt's Rolex.
Oh.
Like the watches.
(giggles) - Yes, like the watches.
- (Excellency) He gets that all the time.
Well, we'll be off now, anyway.
Bye-bye, then.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- (Mum) Bye.
- (Rolex) Bye.
Nice to meet you.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
- Your sister's nice.
- Hmm.
So, how did you, um? l just slipped on the little mat that goes around the toilet.
Jennifer was telling me that Porsus from the Wongol galaxy was reaching up for some sparkling water last week, and did his back in.
Oh.
l've got a ''get well'' card for you from the people of Zordon.
Hmph.
They only signed it because they are scared.
No no, they wanted to.
OK.
- Roses.
- Yes.
- Look at that.
- ''A get well wish''.
''Sending you a get well wish.
'' And everybody's signed it, look.
- And there's a smiley face there.
- Oh, yes.
- They left the price.
- l know.
But, you know, they're simple folk.
l think l've got diabetes.
l was reading a pamphlet in the waiting room, and l think l've got some of the symptoms.
- Better go.
- OK.
- Stiff upper lip.
- Thanks for coming.
Oh, it's OK.
You get well, get well.
- Thank you for coming to see me.
- No problem.
Take care.
(theme music from ''Teletubbies'') (man) A great race.
You must be happy.
Yes, l feel good.
lt was a good race, and a good time.
l put in the time and it paid off today, so yeah, l'm pleased, yeah.
(man) Something happened to you five years ago.
Tell us the story.
Yeah, l was on a fun run.
l'd done a lot of running since l was a kid, with my dad.
He was in an athletics club near us, and that's how l got into it.
But on this fun run l was given the costume to wear, and l wore it.
lt was a long run, it went very well, but after the run l couldn't take it off.
So it it's hard, because there's no nails, so l can't remove the head.
And there's a very thick zip at the back, it's very hard to reach, and then l've no way of opening it anyway.
So now l have to wear it constantly.
And how has this affected your life? Well, it has been hard.
l'm coming to terms with it all the time.
And it is hard, but l've adapted my life, and so it's not as bad as it could be, really.
Do you not have anyone who can help you out of the costume? Not close friends, no.
(church bells chime) (man) Nature, Brother Gregory - is there any greater proof of God's munificence? How complex are his works, Brother Gregory.
How complex.
The veins of a leaf, the filigree pattern of - Ha! Someone's thrown a johnny in the river! - Have they? - Look at that! - (both laugh) - Ah.
- Oh.
Out of my way.
You! Get me a drink! (laughs) You laugh, Burgess.
Why? l have seen many like him.
A few advertisements, a hologram on a bank card, and they think they are the greatest Shakespeare lookalike that has ever lived.
But there has only ever been one true master.
Ah, yes.
- Portaccio.
- Yes.
Portaccio.
l have heard it said he bore a likeness to the bard that was truly extraordinary.
Aye, from every angle he was the very image of England's greatest playwright.
He really, really looked like Shakespeare.
l heard that, old man.
That is all one hears these days from your generation.
''Portaccio, Portaccio, Portaccio.
'' Tell me, what was so great about this Portaccio? What was so great about Portaccio? (laughs) (bell rings) Didn't think much of that fucking King Lear.
No, you are mistaking me for another.
l am Portaccio.
Oh, l'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Oh, my God.
Sorry, it's just you look just like him.
He does, doesn't he? And that, my friend, is why Portaccio was so great.
Aaah! So whatever happened to Portaccio? Ah.
He was playing with his nephew's cat, Claudius, when the beast dug its claws quite savagely into the skin surrounding his testicles.
A month later he died in agony.
Cats have dirty claws.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, l Oh, l beg your pardon.
l thought Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but time is of the essence.
So l have the young lady's watch in the silk handkerchief.
l'll wind it up a bit, l think.
- Was it an expensive watch? - Quite expensive.
- Was it a very delicate watch, madam? - lt's quite delicate.
Would it withstand a sharp blow to a table, do you think? - No.
- Let's see.
l thank you.
Big round of applause for Julie.
- Excuse me.
Could l have my watch back? - Of course.
l wonder where it is.
l think it might be in your pockets.
Have a look.
- l don't have any pockets.
- Of course.
l'll put my thinking cap on.
Do you know, l think it might be in my pocket.
Have a look.
That's it (man) Oi! Come here! Come back! - Down the hill.
- Down the hill.
- Ow.
My fingers aren't in right.
- Oh, sorry.
You won't be able to go down the hill if your fingers aren't all right.
- Where are we going? - Down the hill.
- Where? - Down the hill.
- Where? - Down the hill! Feet on the pedals, hands on the handlebars, and look ahead.
And tomorrow you'll be riding a two-wheeler.
Are you ready? Here we go.
OK, it doesn't matter.
Never mind, never mind, never mind.
Right.
lt's OK, it's OK.
OK, we're pedalling.
Just look straight ahead.
Relax, you're gonna be fine.
You're riding a bike! Here we go.
Daddy's with you.
Just keep your feet on the pedals.
Look straight ahead.
Keep looking, that's good.
OK.
Have you lifted it? OK.
There we go.
Are you ready? l reckon that'll do it.
OK? - Does that feel good? - Yeah.
- Does that feel safe? - Yeah.
That's it.
That's good, that's good.
Keep going, keep going.
Good boy, good boy, well done! Oh, OK.
Never mind, never mind.
All right, what you've done now, you've gone on fire.
You've gone on fire.
l tell you what we'll do, we'll try again, and this time try not to go on fire.
l think that would be the best.
But it was good, though.
lt was the best you've done so far, l'd say.
Whoa! (David) It's worth mentioning, John, that Kiang is still the holder of the world record for the longest period without blinking.
Two days, ten hours, 56 minutes and 45.
89 seconds.
(John) Oh, goodness me.
A real marathon session, that.
Must have been pretty hard to get the edited highlights out of it.
- But that's very different from staring.
- (David) Yes.
(music plays) (music ends) Suzanne, you are still in with a chance.
l want you to focus, focus, focus.
Don't look at me, don't look at your feet, just concentrate, and then go out and kill them, yes? Feeling good? (PA) That was Justine Davis, who gets an eight and a nine.
Next to compete tonight - Suzanne Upingham.
- (girl #1 ) Come on! - (girl #2) Come on, Suzanne! (girl #1 ) Come on, Suzanne.
(# ''Montagues and Capulets'' from ''Romeo and Juliet'' by Prokofiev) (cheering) (all cheer) (music gets louder, other sounds muted) (music ends) (frenzied cheering)
Just remember, if you do feel at any time that you want to stop, just say.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
lf l could have your attention, please.
The family are deeply concerned about the disappearance of Mr Simmons.
Mrs Simmons would like to appeal to her husband, if he is watching, to return home.
Now, Mrs Simmons does have a prepared statement she'd like to read from.
Mrs Simmons, when you're ready.
John, if you're watching this, we want you to know that we miss you very much, and we love you very, very much.
We need Are you OK? You don't have to carry on if you don't want to.
Are you sure? l would like to stress at this point that we are not looking for Mr Simmons in connection with the murders of Juliette and Anne Simmons.
We simply want to eliminate him from our enquiries.
Thank you very much for coming, once again, and we will keep you posted as to any developments as they transpire.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
(buzzer sounds) (chokes and gibbers) l hate you, Butler! (pants and groans) (continues choking and gibbering) Ooh.
Very tart.
(John) Now this, as they say, is the big one.
Benny Kiang against Leonard Hulz.
If you've just joined us, you're watching the 43rd World Stare-Out Championship finals.
Leonard Hulz, he's such a natural talent.
Incredible to think he won't be 1 8 until May.
And this massive crowd which has turned out today, but the majority, you have to say, are here to see the youngster from Chesterfield.
(David) Yes, and you've got to feel slightly sorry for the German.
I would say almost everyone here wants to see Leonard win and go on to the final.
(John) And he has his lucky panda, Dee Dee, with him today.
And lots of girls in the crowd with their little pandas too.
I read somewhere that his fan club is now 250,000 members strong.
And you get a free panda when you join.
(David) I mean, he's a he's a hero to the young, isn't he? He's the sort of man that will get young people looking at staring and saying, ''Yes, I want to stare.
'' (man) In my line of work, you have to be on your toes.
There's a new challenge every day, and that's the way I like it.
l enjoy having fun, although every now and again my body lets me down.
But now l've discovered Elaine Mason's Misters.
They absorb liquid, and they don't catch fire like Jay Pads.
Because they suck in air and trap it.
And best of all, because Misters are made of foam they gradually regain their shape, and don't shred or tear.
Elaine Mason's Misters.
Don't let your body let you down.
(spooky '50s-style space music) What have you for me today, Balu? We have captured the escaped slaves in sector G, Excellency.
Throw them into the pit of fire.
Even the woman? No.
Have her sent to my chambers tonight.
Anything else? Yes, Excellency.
We have a new world for you to destroy.
A filthy little planet they call Eaaarrrrth.
Excellent.
Now leave me.
(door opens then closes) (footsteps) (woman) Um Hi.
Um Oh, God, I can't remember why I was calling now.
Um Oh, shit, I can't remember the messagel Um Oh God, I'll have to call Balu here.
If you can just get a pen handy.
I'm afraid that woman you wanted sent to your chambers was executed.
Sorry.
But I've got the number of an escort agency here.
It's 87 6 55521 22.
Sorry about the mix-up.
Bye.
(man) We've got a football match on Wednesday night, and a couple of the lads are going out for a drink afterwards.
I'll try and ring you later - (dramatic music on TV) - Oh, for God's sake.
Oh Oh, fucking hell.
(mutters) (theme music from ''Teletubbies'') - (TV) # Tinky Winky - # Tinky Winky - (TV) # Dipsy - # Dipsy.
- (TV) # Laa-Laa - # Laa-Laa - (TV) # Po - # Po # Teletubbies (TV) Scientists have come a step closer to realising the dreams of ''Star Trek'' fans Rubbish.
Rubbish! Stupid man! (TV) Next on Channel 2, Cindy Crawford takes us through some of her favourite bras.
(music plays) (whirring) (doorbell) (opens door) (deep, scary voice) Sire, we've captured Prince Vorgon attempting to leave Climier.
(Excellency) Throw him into the pit of ice! (door closes) - There it is.
- Where? - Just up there.
Look, look, look.
- Where? See that rock, and the one at the top? Right between it.
Which one, which rock? - No, l can't see Where? - Yeah, just look.
Look.
- You can see it, look.
- l can't.
There.
Follow my fingers.
There.
- No, where? Where? - Come a bit closer.
Under there.
- There.
- Oh, yeah! - You can just see the top of the head.
- Fantastic.
Look, there's a little one down there.
Oh my God, look.
- She's so cute.
- Gosh, she moves fast.
- She hasn't developed the full - No, no, she hasn't.
(whistles) (they laugh excitedly) Look at that.
Oh, my God! Amazing.
- l've never seen them so close before.
- lt's fantastic.
Absolutely fantastic.
Hey up, she's going up for breakfast.
- Oi! - (all laugh) Hey, watch it, you, eh? (John) Let's just take a closer look, David, at the man who's had a street named after him in his native Santiago, Benny Kiang.
Benny Kiang.
It doesn't get much better than that, John, does it, eh? How many people have got a street named after 'em? No, he's a giant.
He's a giant of staring.
There is a slight question mark over his temperament, because he does tend to court controversy.
Only last year he got involved in an altercation at a petrol station with somebody, over some unleaded petrol or something, I don't know what the details were.
But he hit somebody, and quite hard, apparently.
And the man needed stitches, and his jaw rewiring.
But, anyway, Benny's done his time for that.
He actually gave stare-out lessons to street children in Santiago by way of a punishment, so there's a silver lining in every cloud, John.
(John) Today's match officials, Ken Todd and Brian Featherhead.
So, how have you both been since the last session? Well, we did have one quite major argument last week, l have to admit that.
But, um We got over it.
Good, good.
And what about the sexual side, how's that been going? Well, l think there's been a bit of an improvement.
Did you try my suggestion to make love in places you wouldn't normally? Yeah, well, um we tried it behind a supermarket, actually.
How was that? Well, there was a bit of a bad smell from the bins.
Yeah, it was They really stank.
Mm.
And l found the metal bits in the bins stuck into my flesh.
(exhales raggedly) Actually it was a bit grubby round there.
Some crisps got inside my jeans.
What fla flavour were they? We don't know.
lt's a bit embarrassing, actually.
We got interrupted.
So there were people w-watching you? There was an old couple.
(man) Yeah, and their dog.
We had to run away.
So your your breasts probably had been bobbing up and down.
Yes.
See, when the breasts bob up and down (man) Oi! Oi! Oi! Come back here! Professor Hicks, you're still here.
lt's almost midnight.
l know, Janet.
You just You go on home.
l'm nearly finished here.
OK.
Good night, Professor.
(Professor) Look at that.
(laughs) Yeah.
Oh, God, yeah.
(laughs) Brilliant.
(spooky music) (woman) Well, they say rest is the best thing.
Yes.
When d'you think they'll move you to a private room? Hopefully at the weekend.
There was a problem.
Somebody messed up on the private insurance.
Ooh, you'll want to get that sorted out.
Has your dad been to see you yet? No.
(knock at door) Hello.
Oh, sorry.
Am l interrupting? - No, no.
- (woman) We were just going anyway.
Mum, Sandra, this is Rolex, ruler of the planet Tharsus.
Rolex, this is Mum and Sandra.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Sorry, l didn't catch the name.
- lt's Rolex.
Oh.
Like the watches.
(giggles) - Yes, like the watches.
- (Excellency) He gets that all the time.
Well, we'll be off now, anyway.
Bye-bye, then.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- (Mum) Bye.
- (Rolex) Bye.
Nice to meet you.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
- Your sister's nice.
- Hmm.
So, how did you, um? l just slipped on the little mat that goes around the toilet.
Jennifer was telling me that Porsus from the Wongol galaxy was reaching up for some sparkling water last week, and did his back in.
Oh.
l've got a ''get well'' card for you from the people of Zordon.
Hmph.
They only signed it because they are scared.
No no, they wanted to.
OK.
- Roses.
- Yes.
- Look at that.
- ''A get well wish''.
''Sending you a get well wish.
'' And everybody's signed it, look.
- And there's a smiley face there.
- Oh, yes.
- They left the price.
- l know.
But, you know, they're simple folk.
l think l've got diabetes.
l was reading a pamphlet in the waiting room, and l think l've got some of the symptoms.
- Better go.
- OK.
- Stiff upper lip.
- Thanks for coming.
Oh, it's OK.
You get well, get well.
- Thank you for coming to see me.
- No problem.
Take care.
(theme music from ''Teletubbies'') (man) A great race.
You must be happy.
Yes, l feel good.
lt was a good race, and a good time.
l put in the time and it paid off today, so yeah, l'm pleased, yeah.
(man) Something happened to you five years ago.
Tell us the story.
Yeah, l was on a fun run.
l'd done a lot of running since l was a kid, with my dad.
He was in an athletics club near us, and that's how l got into it.
But on this fun run l was given the costume to wear, and l wore it.
lt was a long run, it went very well, but after the run l couldn't take it off.
So it it's hard, because there's no nails, so l can't remove the head.
And there's a very thick zip at the back, it's very hard to reach, and then l've no way of opening it anyway.
So now l have to wear it constantly.
And how has this affected your life? Well, it has been hard.
l'm coming to terms with it all the time.
And it is hard, but l've adapted my life, and so it's not as bad as it could be, really.
Do you not have anyone who can help you out of the costume? Not close friends, no.
(church bells chime) (man) Nature, Brother Gregory - is there any greater proof of God's munificence? How complex are his works, Brother Gregory.
How complex.
The veins of a leaf, the filigree pattern of - Ha! Someone's thrown a johnny in the river! - Have they? - Look at that! - (both laugh) - Ah.
- Oh.
Out of my way.
You! Get me a drink! (laughs) You laugh, Burgess.
Why? l have seen many like him.
A few advertisements, a hologram on a bank card, and they think they are the greatest Shakespeare lookalike that has ever lived.
But there has only ever been one true master.
Ah, yes.
- Portaccio.
- Yes.
Portaccio.
l have heard it said he bore a likeness to the bard that was truly extraordinary.
Aye, from every angle he was the very image of England's greatest playwright.
He really, really looked like Shakespeare.
l heard that, old man.
That is all one hears these days from your generation.
''Portaccio, Portaccio, Portaccio.
'' Tell me, what was so great about this Portaccio? What was so great about Portaccio? (laughs) (bell rings) Didn't think much of that fucking King Lear.
No, you are mistaking me for another.
l am Portaccio.
Oh, l'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Oh, my God.
Sorry, it's just you look just like him.
He does, doesn't he? And that, my friend, is why Portaccio was so great.
Aaah! So whatever happened to Portaccio? Ah.
He was playing with his nephew's cat, Claudius, when the beast dug its claws quite savagely into the skin surrounding his testicles.
A month later he died in agony.
Cats have dirty claws.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, l Oh, l beg your pardon.
l thought Thank you very much.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but time is of the essence.
So l have the young lady's watch in the silk handkerchief.
l'll wind it up a bit, l think.
- Was it an expensive watch? - Quite expensive.
- Was it a very delicate watch, madam? - lt's quite delicate.
Would it withstand a sharp blow to a table, do you think? - No.
- Let's see.
l thank you.
Big round of applause for Julie.
- Excuse me.
Could l have my watch back? - Of course.
l wonder where it is.
l think it might be in your pockets.
Have a look.
- l don't have any pockets.
- Of course.
l'll put my thinking cap on.
Do you know, l think it might be in my pocket.
Have a look.
That's it (man) Oi! Come here! Come back! - Down the hill.
- Down the hill.
- Ow.
My fingers aren't in right.
- Oh, sorry.
You won't be able to go down the hill if your fingers aren't all right.
- Where are we going? - Down the hill.
- Where? - Down the hill.
- Where? - Down the hill! Feet on the pedals, hands on the handlebars, and look ahead.
And tomorrow you'll be riding a two-wheeler.
Are you ready? Here we go.
OK, it doesn't matter.
Never mind, never mind, never mind.
Right.
lt's OK, it's OK.
OK, we're pedalling.
Just look straight ahead.
Relax, you're gonna be fine.
You're riding a bike! Here we go.
Daddy's with you.
Just keep your feet on the pedals.
Look straight ahead.
Keep looking, that's good.
OK.
Have you lifted it? OK.
There we go.
Are you ready? l reckon that'll do it.
OK? - Does that feel good? - Yeah.
- Does that feel safe? - Yeah.
That's it.
That's good, that's good.
Keep going, keep going.
Good boy, good boy, well done! Oh, OK.
Never mind, never mind.
All right, what you've done now, you've gone on fire.
You've gone on fire.
l tell you what we'll do, we'll try again, and this time try not to go on fire.
l think that would be the best.
But it was good, though.
lt was the best you've done so far, l'd say.
Whoa! (David) It's worth mentioning, John, that Kiang is still the holder of the world record for the longest period without blinking.
Two days, ten hours, 56 minutes and 45.
89 seconds.
(John) Oh, goodness me.
A real marathon session, that.
Must have been pretty hard to get the edited highlights out of it.
- But that's very different from staring.
- (David) Yes.
(music plays) (music ends) Suzanne, you are still in with a chance.
l want you to focus, focus, focus.
Don't look at me, don't look at your feet, just concentrate, and then go out and kill them, yes? Feeling good? (PA) That was Justine Davis, who gets an eight and a nine.
Next to compete tonight - Suzanne Upingham.
- (girl #1 ) Come on! - (girl #2) Come on, Suzanne! (girl #1 ) Come on, Suzanne.
(# ''Montagues and Capulets'' from ''Romeo and Juliet'' by Prokofiev) (cheering) (all cheer) (music gets louder, other sounds muted) (music ends) (frenzied cheering)