Billy and Billie (2015) s01e08 Episode Script

Stay Away

1 [ Keyboard clacking .]
September: Good morning.
Hey, there.
Hey.
Look at you, cleverly hiding your naked and, I just have to say, amazing body under that sweater.
Wow.
Thank you for the compliment.
That wasn't a compliment.
[ Chuckles .]
Um, that's an actual fact.
Ha.
No "ha.
" Have you looked in a mirror lately? No, not lately.
Not in the last, like, 20 years.
I would highly recommend it if I was you.
I hate mirrors.
Really? Yeah, really.
They're just another lie that we tell ourselves.
Right? I guess.
That is what I think, anyway.
Mm-hmm, okay.
I mean, we can't ever really see ourselves, not fully.
I mean, we can see our arms and our legs, maybe our stomachs, but so much of each of us can't ever really be looked at by the person who resides in his or her own body, right? Yeah, I guess that's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like my face.
I mean, i have never seen my own face, not my actual face.
I mean, you have And the people at the diner have and my parents and my friends and all that shit.
But? But not me.
It's just odd.
Yeah.
This is very deep for this early in the morning, and I like it.
Um, can I get you something to eat? Um, yeah, sure.
Are you cooking? No.
I was gonna run downstairs to the thingy You know, to -- I was gonna go where you work.
[ Chuckles .]
Really? Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I usually do, unless I grab something on the way to the office.
I mean, i can cook stuff if you've got eggs, bacon, whatever Bread.
I make a mean French toast.
Really? Yeah.
Ah, sounds so good.
Um [ Clears throat .]
Yeah, I have nothing, so I don't know what you can do with nothing, but Well, how about, like, breakfast in bed? How does that sound? Is that code? Yeah.
It kind of is.
Yeah, code.
I love codes.
Okay.
[ Sighs .]
Dude.
[ Clears throat .]
Better say "tom" on that jelly.
[ Sighs .]
Break time, huh? Hey.
Just grabbing a coffee.
Yeah, cool.
[ Sighs .]
This new layout's driving me a little nuts.
I'm still waiting for the drawings from Billie.
Oh, I already got 'em.
What? Yeah, she sent them to me, i guess.
Really? Uh, w-why? Good question.
Everything was running through you, no pun intended.
[ Chuckles .]
And then she starting the artwork directly to me.
No biggie.
I was just curious.
I don't [ Clears throat .]
Yeah, beats me.
Okay.
It's good stuff.
Mm-hmm.
Can I see it? Sure.
Okay.
Yeah, we need to talk anyway.
So I'll set up a time and we can, you know Mm-hmm.
Keith.
Yeah? Are we gonna have some big problem here because of all this? We'll just talk later.
No, come on.
Billy, listen, I'm still talking to my dad, and we'll let you know.
Okay? Definitely this week.
I promise.
Or I guess that's -- on the Bible.
Right.
All right.
Speak soon, Jones.
Let me know about that layout.
Will do.
Pow! [ Indistinct conversations .]
[ Door opens .]
Hi.
Would you mind? Thank you.
Drew.
[ Chuckles .]
Hi.
UmOne second.
Hey.
Hi! Fancy seeing you here.
Wow, that's weird.
Drew in blue.
Hi.
Yeah, I um Sorry, I had to do a text.
Yeah, it's for work, call times for tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
What are you doing here? Just having a-a solo salad.
I like the little -- little thing they do, chopped.
Yeah, that's nice.
Call times, huh? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's not really true, though, right? I'm sorry? I'm saying that I think you saw me and then you made that up.
No.
I didn't.
Jesus.
What is up with you? I think you know what's up with me.
That's why I think you got ahold of Billie and told her not to meet you.
Um Right? I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what happened.
So what if I did? So nothing.
That's okay.
I would do the same thing for a friend.
That's all.
You don't have to talk to me or anything, I just, you know -- you know, I saw you, so I waved, and, uh If you are alone and you wanted, you know, thought we could have lunch or grab a bite.
Yeah, um I guess i could have something small.
Okay.
Petite.
I like that.
Maybe the soup.
Okay.
Soup's good.
Soup's good.
Yeah.
Maybe the scallops.
We'll see.
How's "the bomb" going? How's work? Oh, it's great.
I mean, ratings-wise, it's great.
Right.
That's a big deal, I hear.
Mm-hmm.
It's fun.
Another season or two would be good, and then I really want to get out to L.
A.
I'm sick of it here, the winter, crowds The theater.
[ Laughs .]
My agent keeps asking if I want to do theater.
Yeah? Fuck no! No, really? It happens to be like four times the amount of work for four times less pay.
You got to commit to months and months.
Stupid, yeah.
It's gross.
It's gross.
Do not get me talking about that particular subject, please! All right.
No, no, no, we can talk about anything you want.
Happy to talk about anything.
Good.
Yeah.
Um Excuse me, could -- could, um Sorry.
I was gonna try and get you some water.
[ Chuckles .]
That's nice.
Anyway, uh, what's going on with you? Not the Billie stuff, but, like, the job stuff.
Job stuff? Job's okay.
Working on a big issue at the moment.
Oh, that sounds fun.
Yeah, it's all right.
It's, um It's kind of like twice the work for the same pay, so it's sort of my version of theater, but I got it.
Yeah.
That sucks.
A little bit.
Hey, sir, e-excuse -- could -- [ snaps .]
Well, my costar is on your cover.
Yes, I know.
He's got a -- he's got strong features.
He does.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm actually doing nylon this month, which has a bigger distribution, so no offense.
Well, that -- that stings.
Hits me to the core.
Um Anyway And you and Billie, if you want to Want to talk about that? Um, um -- oh, excuse me, sir? Um Nah.
Uh, with the Billie stuff, I'm sure you're already familiar with more details than I'm comfortable with.
[ Chuckles .]
Probably.
Yeah, right.
Trust me, she spoke very highly of you.
Yeah? I mean, before all the Whatever happened.
Mm-hmm.
Got it.
She's pissed at you right now, though.
I know.
She took a real chance on this, so Yeah.
Hey, I mean, I -- no, listen, a real chance.
And I don't mean because it's you or the brother thing -- stepbrother.
Shh.
Listen.
She just Doesn't throw herself at guys.
You know that.
She's never had a long-term thing, she's never had a guy live with her or her with him, none of that shit.
This was a big fucking deal for her, a huge deal.
And maybe she didn't say that or didn't let you know.
And now you do.
Because our best friend has this massive fucking mouth on her, so This was important to her.
I know.
For me, too.
Yeah? Yes.
Of course.
Wow.
I wish i could help you, keep you from making the same mistakes I've made.
Am currently making.
I was trying to do the right thing, you know.
I was trying to make sure that we could do this forever.
That is what i was trying to do.
That's good.
I just hope you didn't already fuck it up beyond repair.
[ Sighs .]
Me, too.
[ Knocks .]
Hey.
[ Laughs .]
Hi.
Wow.
In Rome, right? I don't know.
You going to Rome? It's a saying.
I know.
I just don't -- I guess I don't get how it applies, but Oh, god.
Are we gonna do this usual thing we do, Billy? You know, it's up to you.
It's up to you.
I'd like to talk to you.
Really? That's why I'm here.
Okay.
I figured one of your meetings at the 21 club got canceled or something, you had a little time to kill.
No.
Jesus.
Can I sit? Mm-hmm.
Or are we gonna do this whole thing standing? It's up to you.
It's certainly more dramatic this way.
I think we can sit.
Great.
Can I get you something to drink? Coffee or anything? No, I'm fine.
I just ate.
21 club? Did you eat at the 21 club? Oh, fuck, Billy.
Touché, okay? Okay.
Tou-fucking-ché.
Yes.
I was in the neighborhood, i had a lunch.
Is that a crime? Can I still want to see you? I'm flattered.
I am.
I want to talk to you.
[ Sighs .]
Billie won't speak to me, and so here I am.
It feels really good to be running a distant second when you're an only child.
That is bullshit.
What is? Bullshit.
You are not an only child.
[ Chuckles .]
You're not! Okay.
You have other siblings.
All right.
I don't care how you cut it, you do -- a step-sibling, a half-sibling.
I think you know what I mean.
I've always treated you all the same, like family.
That's not true.
It's not? No.
Show me where.
Where Um, I don't know, you don't kiss me on the lips.
You little shit! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, let go of me! You and your smart mouth! Oh, thank you, daddy.
Sit! No, no, I think that's okay.
I'm good.
I said sit.
He's my dad, okay? So? Yeah, "so.
" [ Sighs .]
Your mother filled me in on the details.
Or maybe not details, but whatever.
Enough to know what's going on.
And there's a hell of a lot going on here.
This is serious.
That's true.
So let's run with it, then.
Talk about it, okay? Okay, go for it.
Thank you.
Well I just figure that the least we can do is -- [ knocks on door .]
Hey, Billy, uh -- sorry, is this Hey, come on in.
This is my father, James.
He was just in the neighborhood.
Oh, hi.
This is Keith.
His dad's our publisher.
He also runs the place on occasion.
Oh.
That's a nice way of saying I have yet to do anything with my life.
Hi.
Keith.
[ Chuckles .]
James.
Pleased to meet you.
Yeah, oh.
[ Laughs .]
Same here.
What a grip.
Oh, yeah, hearty handshake.
Yeah.
I just came by to talk to you, but that can wait.
We can do it later, no problem.
Oh, no, if you need me to leave, just say the word.
No, this can totally wait.
No issues.
You sure? Absolutely, yeah.
All right.
Your daughter -- step.
What? Stepdaughter.
She's -- Billie is James' stepdaughter.
Your stepdaughter is fantastic.
She's an amazing artist, you know? You must be so proud of her.
I am.
Yeah.
Of both my kids.
Ah.
don't forget Carson.
Oh, right.
All of them.
Billy has a half-brother, as well, so Yeah.
He's My life has been a serpentine path, what can I say? [ Laughs .]
What can I say? Yeah, yeah, sounds like my old man.
Men.
Ah.
Exactly.
Ah, we're so awesome.
Just guys.
What's that? Being guys -- it's awesome.
Being a man.
Anyway, great to meet you, sir.
James, please.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, old habit.
Uh, I guess that's what you call it when something's been beaten into you -- a habit.
[ Chuckles .]
Nuns? Yeah.
Fathers, sergeants I've faced them all.
I'm sorry, were you in the service? Did you serve? I for-- did you serve? Uh, military school.
Oh, okay.
I went to military school.
Sure.
Can I at least tell my own stories, please? Sure.
Kids today.
Right.
It's -- I mean Anyway, um I'll see you later.
All right.
And, uh, a pleasure.
I should go, too.
Okay, yeah, great.
Listen, uh No, listen, don't worry about it.
I don't really want your advice, so Fine.
Just keep blundering away out here, Billy.
I will.
Go for it.
You blazed the trail, so it should be fairly easy.
SoLook.
Uh, here's where things stand right now.
Keith: It's not against the law [ Scoffs .]
what's going on here.
There's nothing going on here.
That's not entirely true, dude, and you know it isn't.
Right? I guess what I mean is, um, there's nothing sordid -- will you just let Yeah? Keith say his thing before you get all huffy? Let him just state his case before you get all defensive.
Uh, there is no case, so I actually don't have to be defensive.
What Denise means is, um Actually You know, we're very cool, a progressive magazine here.
And, uh, you know, but there are actually policies -- is that the right word? I suppose.
Policies that could be enforced, you know, if need be.
And we think they need be.
Does she actually have to be here? Is this really happening? I mean, you're the boss' son, Keith, I think we could just talk about this one-on-one.
You know what, actually, i am a superior to you, Billy, whether you like it or not.
Well, I don't like it, if you're asking.
Keith? Denise is here because I asked her to be.
Uh, she's here more as a [Clears throat.]
Witness.
I'm sorry, what? A witness? You know, well, look, you've displayed a certain disregard or even disrespect for coworkers, and that actually is against company policy.
don't take this the wrong way, but are you fucking kidding me? [ Scoffs .]
I'm not, dude.
I mean, I'm really not.
It's You -- you brought your sister in here.
Step.
S-- okay, fine.
You're the one that brought your stepsister in here, all right? But she adds to the list of employees that you've Um, been with.
So what? So? That level of -- of fraternization, if abused, is Is the -- is "Is open to correction if so deemed by one or more superiors from said company," man.
You know.
Okay, i have dated a few -- no, Billy, just let me finish.
No, let me finish.
Please! I have dated a few -- will you just shut up and listen for once? Why don't you shut up? Please, can you try that? Are you really gonna fire me for sleeping with her? I did you a favor.
That's called taking a bullet.
Dude Fuck you, asshole! I'm sorry.
No, thanks.
I already tried it.
It's subpar.
You don't want to clear the table? You know what, just eat shit! I don't know what language that was, but my god.
[ Sighs .]
Look, dude, this can be as serious or as simple as you want to make it, bro.
I'd like to make it simple.
Great.
I'm under a lot of pressure here.
I mean, Denise can be a very persuasive force with my dad.
He hired her way back when, you know? And the guy served in Vietnam, so I don't have any idea what you're talking about.
He's got "the fever.
" Because she's Asian? That's his words, not mine.
I don't talk like that.
That's, you know It's a different generation.
That's great.
So just fuckin' help me out, all right? Come on.
So what's the deal, then? Um, can Billie not be involved any more, or me? What? Oh, I'm still working it out with dad.
Jesus.
Well, here we are.
You know, we actually broke up a little while while ago, so it's kind of a moot point, but then again, I'm really pissed off.
Well, don't be, all right? Just don't do anything stupid.
Take the reprimand and We'll see.
Why don't we both take some time.
How's that sound? What? Okay? Dude! Also, in case you value the truth, you're not that likable.
Hurry over here, Sonny boy.
I want to -- you get up, you big tub of guts.
This is the only movie he directed, by the way.
Who, Marlon Brando? Yeah.
Yeah, it was supposed to be Stanley kubrick, and then something happened, and Brando took over.
I think he did a really good job, too.
Never directed anything again, though.
You know so much stuff.
Um No, we just did an article about actors who directed, and then we did a sidebar about actors who've only directed a single film.
He was one of those.
Cool.
You just wait for them two and get on with it.
Man: I told you once, I told you a thousand times Who else? Mm Charles laughton.
Mm-hmm.
[ Knocks on door .]
Mister, you'll really kill him.
Oh.
Go ahead, I'm fine.
Just let me see who Billie: Billy? Hello? Is that that girl from the diner? Yeah, yeah.
Um, she's been bugging me a little bit, and so I just Let's just let her -- I heard you just turn down the TV.
Will you please just open the door? [ Sighs .]
Would you mind staying here for a second? I'm just gonna go talk to her real fast, then I'm gonna kindly show her out.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thanks.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's cool.
Hey.
Hi.
Thanks for stopping by.
You're welcome.
Um Can I come in? Uh, no, honestly, now is not a good time for me.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah, I tried to get ahold of you a lot, and, you know, you never got back to me, and so Just not now.
I'm eating and I see.
Okay? Sure, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Checking up on you, what do you think? God.
Billie, this is Saturday.
September.
September.
I'm so sorry.
That's September.
We've met.
Yeah.
That's right, that's right.
Okay, you don't have to Chinese food.
Sure.
Same fucking order.
It's not the same -- it's spicy! We used to eat here when we were in love in the recent past.
Billie, fuck! Oh, I'm sorry.
I would, but it looks like you've got your hands full.
I'm gonna go.
Okay, I understand.
Please, I'm so sorry.
I can't believe you're doing this.
Ah, sorry, i thought you missed me.
I do miss you! Do you? Is that why you're fucking September? Hey! Okay, I don't want to be in the middle of something like this.
You don't even know what you're in the middle of.
We're brother and sister.
Step! We are stepbrother and -- I'm going! Listen, our -- I'm going, too.
September and I are gonna go.
Okay, bi-- what? I think y-- [ screams .]
Being fucking crazy.
I will show you fucking crazy! [ Door slams .]
Oh, my god.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I don't need this.
[ Sighs .]
God damn it.

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