Cake Boss (2009) s01e06 Episode Script

Undead, Unclothed, and Unhappy Mama

BUDD Y: On this episode of "Cake Boss" Aah! [ Laughter .]
No way, no how! Those cakes are not allowed in this place.
Erotic, exotic.
Whatever you call them.
No way, no how! So, what's the occasion? A wedding? It's gonna be prom night of the living dead.
What about something like rotting flesh or anything else? Could we have, like, pieces of limbs or anything? I'm so far out of my element.
It's time to unveil.
[ Laughter .]
Oh, my God! BUDD Y: This is Carlo's Bakery.
Sugar Every week, thousands of cakes and pastries go out these doors.
Oh, sugar, sugar This is the crew.
Mia famiglia.
Sugar We're gonna take this bakery to the top.
They call me Buddy.
I'm the boss.
Sugar Oh, sugar, sugar I just put the finishing touches on.
I think it looks cool.
You know, over the years, we here at Carlo's Bakery have become famous for our specialty cakes.
Your specialty cake ain't your grocery-store cake.
It's got to be to the nines detailed.
It's got to really be like, " Is that a cake? Is that for real?" -You like it? -Very sexy.
BUDD Y: It's a certain breed of cakes that you just can't go to anywhere and get.
You got to come to me to get that specialty cake.
So, we need a cake, right? JASON: Yeah, we're looking for a cake.
We've heard that you're the man to talk to.
Best cakes around.
Yes, I am.
Thank you.
So, what's the occasion? A wedding? -Not exactly.
-Not exactly.
JASON: It's a little different from a wedding, though.
It's called a zombie walk.
A gathering of people that are zombie lovers, zombie-movie lovers.
Everybody gets together in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and we have everyone's makeup get done so that they look like real zombies, and we walk through the center of town.
We'd like to have a cake, 'cause we're having a zombie prom as our afterparty.
[ All groaning .]
It's gonna be prom night of the living dead.
We want it to really be a gruesome cake.
Really over-the-top kind of blood and guts.
Almost kind of rotting-looking, if you will.
BUDD Y: I'm so far out of my element.
I mean, I usually make these pretty things.
But they were like, "The bloodier, the better, baby.
Bring it on.
" All right, guys.
Listen.
I just got this order for the zombie cake.
I was actually thinking of trying to rig something up where blood could kind of like ooze out of this brain.
They're gonna eat it.
If they're dressed up as zombies and they just had one big brain as a cake, and they could just all go and eat the brain.
That's a little freaky, Daniella.
-It's a little freaky.
-[ Laughs .]
BUDD Y: Let me ask a question.
What about something like rotting flesh or anything else? Could we have, like, pieces of limbs or anything? We could put all the pieces of, like, a heart and the piece of arm on the floor, yeah.
If we had, like, half of his head open, and then he's, like, eating his own brain.
No, they don't eat zombie brains.
They were crystal clear on that.
[ Laughs .]
BUDD Y: M y idea for the zombie cake is to have a tombstone and then a cake that was like dirt, and the zombie's hands and forearms and shoulders and head is coming out like he's trying to [groans.]
come out like that.
And then, you know, I wanted to have a brain in his hand and then flesh body parts all over the cake.
Then I'm gonna build the tombstone in the back, okay? And I'm gonna put doweling rods and screw them in from the bottom so that the tombstone can't fall back and forth.
Then I'm gonna do a rectangle cake for the bottom.
And go 1, 2, 3.
So, we chose red-velvet cake, 'cause it's kind of a creepy red color that goes perfect with the blood, guts, and gore.
All right, one more layer.
We decided to go with three layers of red-velvet cake for the ground and 10 layers of shaped pound cake for the tombstone.
Then we dirty-iced the whole thing, smoothed it out nice and even.
Then before we do anything else, we got to put it in the fridge downstairs so the icing will harden.
Who's next? Are you being helped? What can I get you? -Hi.
-Hi.
What kind of a consultation is it? For a wedding? No, for a bachelorette-party cake.
Oh, fun! I got this bachelorette cake for Tone-Tone's cousin.
That's Tone-Tone.
He's my assistant.
He's a very talented cake decorator/artist.
He went to culinary school, and then I took him under my wing, and I'm teaching him the ropes.
He's a great guy.
So, what do we think about doing something We're not sure yet.
We're gonna -- What do you call those things? -Erotic? -Yeah.
None of it! All right, Mother.
Come on.
-None of those! -I'll keep it clean.
I want to get to Heaven when I go.
Bachelorette cakes have been going on a long time at Carlo's Bakery, but we had to put a stop to it.
No sexy cakes.
What do you call those things? -Exotic.
-Exotic.
Now, my mother's, like, one of the holiest people I know.
We will not make those cakes, no how.
That's it.
I'm not making any.
None.
None, none, none.
BUDD Y: So, Mama has a rule.
We don't make any sort of erotic cakes.
The only thing is, sometimes a friend asks for it, you know, here and there, so I got to kind of do it on the sneak.
So, what can I do for you guys? We're here for a bachelorette-party cake.
-Ooh! -M m-hmm.
Don't let my mother hear.
-She heard.
-Yeah, she heard.
-No.
Really? -She said nothing erotic.
Anything I do has got to be on the sneak, like big-time.
JACLYN: The bachelorette is a little crazy.
BUDD Y: All right.
I think she's gonna like a crazy cake.
We think we want to do like a strip-club kind of scene.
All right.
-Money.
-Right.
Yeah, money.
You know, some G-strings, dollar bills.
I don't even know if we need G-strings.
Maybe him twirling around a G-string.
-Nude.
-One of the figures.
[ Laughs .]
I really think I got the hint from these girls of what they wanted.
They were pretty graphic.
They want a raunchy cake.
Well JACLYN: It needs to be something like -- You're gonna make me blush.
You are blushing already.
Rosy cheeks.
[ Laughter .]
BUDD Y: So, just give me a little bit more specifics of what we're gonna do here.
-Naked strippers.
-Like this.
BUDD Y: Yeah.
Like, the strippers might be little, but other things can't be little.
[ Laughs .]
Size matters.
Size definitely -- That's what I hear.
-Okay.
-All right.
And remember, don't tell Mama, all right? Don't worry about her.
M y vision for this bachelorette cake is to do a stage -Take care.
-Nice to see you.
and then have some strippers, you know, kind of like standing there, dancing around.
And, you know, make it look pretty cool.
Guess what kind of cake she wants.
It's a bachelorette-party cake, and she wants some "Eh, eh, eh!" Strippers and this and that.
We got four girls up here.
I think maybe each girl should mold a guy.
And then I see Tone-Tone standing there.
And I'm like, "You know what?" Tone-Tone's gay, number one, so he's probably been to a male strip club.
I'm like, number two, it's for his family.
I want him to be involved.
We're gonna change it up, okay? Each girl's gonna get a stripper and Tone-Tone.
Tone-Tone's getting his own stripper.
It's five.
You know, they want them to be well-endowed, okay, and they want them to be good-looking dudes, okay? I think they should all have abs, six-packs.
Six-packs? No kegs, then? [ Laughter .]
So then me, Mauro, Remy -- we'll worry about the stage and how it goes.
You guys worry about the strippers.
Okay.
Give me two sheets vanilla, and then the stage'll probably be maybe like an eight-inch round.
I'm thinking that the back stage should be a little taller, then it should go into a catwalk or like a step down, then back up into a round stage.
Tone-Tone, vanilla or chocolate? The cake is basically a vanilla cake with a truffle-fudge filling.
All right.
Cool.
Give me a turntable.
I'll dirty-ice this, and then we'll cover this cake up.
I get it the way I want it.
I put the buttercream on it.
I dirty-ice it.
-Is it up to par, Tone-Tone? -Yeah.
All right, Danny, then let's get the black ready, and let's ice this up.
And then we cover it in fondant.
Uh-huh.
Yeah! While we're in fondant mode, me and Remy decide to go ahead and take care of the zombie cake.
Let's go, Remy.
We don't usually use dull-gray fondant, but it's gonna make this tombstone look like the real deal.
Easy.
Don't pull.
The male strippers for the bachelorette cake are made out of modeling chocolate.
This is gonna be a little challenging, because a lot of times when you do them, you can put clothes on them.
So even if the body's a little lumpy, you can put, you know, a shirt or a jacket, and you don't even see it.
But you are gonna see the abs.
You're gonna see the chest.
You're gonna see the biceps, the muscles, the package -- the whole nine.
So it all had to look pretty good.
I had the girls doing their sculptures.
I'm looking around the room, and I'm like, "This one's good, and that one's great, and, wow, this one.
" Then I get to Tone-Tone's.
I'm like, "Holy schnike.
What the hell is that, Tone-Tone? Hey, now.
How you doing?" You're using a little bit too much modeling chocolate, man.
That stuff is expensive, bro.
If my mother-in-law ever gets a view of this stuff, dude, you guys are gonna be -- Ooh, man! BUDD Y: So I told Tone-Tone and the girls, "Work on the strippers, but if my mother comes in, make sure you hide them.
" VIOLET: I'm scared of Mama right now, because she's gonna freak out, and then she's probably gonna like look at us funny, like, "Why are you making an exotic --" MAMA: What did I say? What did I say? That is not acceptable at Carlo's Bakery, okay? I don't care who told you that.
Buddy's not the boss.
He may the cake boss, but he ain't the boss.
And that is not acceptable.
-No way in my place.
-All right.
That's not gonna be shown.
You want to put some clothes on him? I don't care about the muscles, but the other stuff is not gonna be shown.
No way, no how! It's not gonna happen, 'cause I'll come in.
I'll break it myself, all right? WOMAN: Don't worry.
She'll get over it.
Holy [bleep.]
I told him that those cakes are not allowed in this place.
Erotic, exotic.
Whatever you call them.
No way, no how! I have a bone to pick with you.
You know there are certain things that I don't want.
And I saw them make an erotic cake.
Now, that is a no-no in this place.
Youse know how I feel about those cakes! The only reason I did it was for Tone-Tone's sister.
I don't care if it's Tone-Tone's sister, if it's your sister, it is not being made at Carlo's Bakery! You are gonna respect my wishes.
What if we just make dancing guys? Yeah.
What don't you understand? I n bathing suits.
Okay, I don't want -- Right.
-Nothing exposed.
-MAMA: Nothing exposed! Nothing.
Am I the boss?! Who writes the checks at the end of the week?! You.
Okay.
Go ahead.
What the hell did you guys do? You were supposed to be hiding things.
She was really mad.
She's from the old school.
She doesn't understand these kind of jokes.
She was really, genuinely offended, and I felt horrible.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Here's the plan.
-We're gonna make them -With clothes.
I put shorts on mine already.
Shorts, but they got to have something underneath.
[ Laughs .]
All right, all right, listen.
That's the game plan.
Let's get back to work.
The strippers are looking great.
I mean, they're cut.
They're ripped, muscles.
It looks good.
Since the strippers are in good hands with the girls, I can get back to the zombie cake.
The challenge is to make a zombie cake, okay, and make the head, the arms, everything edible, no Styrofoam.
That's a big challenge.
M y trick is using pound cake.
It's easier to sculpt.
It holds up better.
After the pound cake is dirty-iced, me and Remy put some greenish-gray fondant on the head and arms to look like zombie skin, and I get Tone-Tone making some creepy zombie hands out of modeling chocolate.
So, my mother goes to check out a wedding cake.
She opens the door.
And boof! Tone-Tone leaves his stripper there with his thing sticking out.
Aah! [ Laughter .]
What did I tell youse?! You were supposed to cover it! You better get him covered! I promise.
They're gonna cover him up.
They're gonna remove half of him to cover him up.
[ Laughter .]
That's it.
I can't believe this.
BUDD Y: I was like, " Mom, I didn't cover it yet.
I'm gonna cover it.
" So I came up with an ingenious thing.
I said, "How about we put an apron on this guy, and then when I get there, I could take the apron off so the girls will still be happy and get their raunchiness, and my mother's not gonna flip out on me?" So, while Tone-Tone puts the finishing touches on the stripper, I'm gonna twist together white and gray fondant to make the stage look really glitzy.
I want to do a marbled catwalk.
So I take the twisted fondant and run it through the sheeter a couple times.
Go from the edge.
After I do the marble on the catwalk, I figure for the stage, I'm gonna do, like, a checkerboard design.
Me, Christine, and Danny put water on these squares, and we dipped them into sugar that had some sparkly effect.
So we had this white and, like, hot-pink disco color that looked awesome.
Let's put some dollar bills on this.
You know, if I was a stripper, this is where I'd want to strip.
Look at this cake, and I tell you, it was one of the best cakes we ever made.
I mean, it was hilarious.
I love all the money.
That's the perfect ending touch.
Okay, let me see.
I like the colors, and, I mean, the muscle guys, I have no problem with.
The stage is the best part of it! BUDD Y: The strippers were all covered up, and to get Mama's approval really makes me happy.
It's go time.
I want to deliver this cake personally because I met with the girls and it's Tone-Tone's family and I really want to see the reaction to this cake.
Watch your step.
[ Screaming .]
[ Cheering .]
It's time to unveil the main attraction.
[ Cheering .]
This cake really went over the edge.
This cake lit these girls up.
You would have thought that I'd brought strippers in there live.
[ Cheering .]
I thought my cake was awesome, and I enjoyed all the strippers.
I think Buddy did a phenomenal job.
I couldn't have asked for a better cake.
Congratulations.
Lots of love to you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
WOMAN: Thank you.
I got to get back.
[ Cheering .]
That bachelorette cake was a total success.
The next day, I had to kick it into high gear and finish the zombie cake.
It looks good.
I mean, and this covers up a lot of the underneath, anyway.
The next thing to do was the face.
We made the skin out of modeling chocolate with some green food coloring added.
As we're doing it, I'm like, "You know what? It's a freaking zombie.
Let's tear it.
Let's rip it.
Let's mold it.
Let's scratch it.
" "Let it look authentic.
" Are the brains ready? So, Tone-Tone sculpted a brain.
We put the brain in his hand.
Let's put his teeth in to make it look like there's blood in his mouth.
We added some rotten teeth made out of modeling chocolate.
He's getting dirt.
I wanted the zombie to look like he was clawing his way out of this grave, so I put a layer of chocolate fudge and covered that with some chocolate crumbs.
Then we airbrush it with some black food coloring to make all the features really pop.
Should we do, like, a blood splatter? So, I want this thing to have blood everywhere.
Corn syrup and food coloring makes awesome blood.
-A rat.
-A rat? All right.
Put the rat on.
We made it like a buffet of flesh and rotting things for the zombie to eat.
And I was like, "Yeah!" And it just came together.
All right.
That's it.
That's how you do a zombie, okay? That's how it's done.
Let's get it in the car, and then we'll see.
Nice and easy, my friend.
Wait.
-Got it? -Yeah.
Go and put my end in.
To deliver the zombie cake, I need to take Danny, because I need my mule.
He's my big, strong guy.
And Tone-Tone and Toni really wanted to come, because they were intrigued to what's a zombie fest.
You know, I'm used to delivering a cake to a wedding, where you see people in tuxedos and dresses and, you know, it's very formal.
I go to this place, and you got people dressed up like zombies.
Things coming out of their head, you know? I'm like, "Really, I'm at zombie fest.
" I'm like, "Wait, it's funny.
This is great.
" Hard times for zombies, man, you know? The organizers, Jason and Christina -- they were the zombie king and queen.
[ Cheers and applause .]
Who's ready for a fun night? It's just getting started, right? [ Cheers and applause .]
Oh, my God.
[ Cheering .]
BUDD Y: We get the cake.
We finally get it to the table, and the zombies start freaking out.
[ All grunting .]
They started ripping and eating.
[ Growls .]
I was like It was a little crazy for me.
What Buddy actually made was incredible.
JASON: It was disgusting and way more disgusting than we thought it was gonna be, which is awesome.
BUDD Y: I'm like a zombie today.
WOMAN: Whoo! BUDD Y: It was great.
They loved it.
I was so happy with it.
This was actually one of the funniest weeks.
I mean, I had a blast.

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